Kissin' Cousins	 Kissin' Cousins

 by The Moo

  

 

 Disclaimer: 

 Author's Notes: Feel good stuff.

 Story Notes: 

 

 

 "Ray, Ray, I've got great news!" It was a happy Mountie that climbed into
the shotgun seat of the Riv. He was grinning. Ray noticed it wasn't his
usual half-smile but a full blown, bona-fide grin. In anticipation he
smiled himself. 

 "What, Benny, spill it." 

 "My cousin is coming to Chicago! To work right here in the Consulate!
Right here, Ray!" 

 "That is great news, Benny. I'm happy for you, man." The Italian couldn't
think of anything better for a man to have than family, and the only
family Fraser had around was Vecchio's own. "So this cousin, he's a
Mountie? Are going to have to cope with two Constable Frasers?" 

 Fraser's attention was distracted by a grammatical question. "I wonder if
that's Constable Fraserssss or Constablessss Fraser. It's an interesting
question, Ray. I never thought about it. He repeated the words over and
over, trying them out "Constable Frasers...Constables Fraser". 

 "Benny" 

 "Yes, Ray" 

 "It's not an interesting question, its stupid." 

 "Sorry, Ray." 

 "I asked you, this cousin, is he a Mountie?" 

 "Hardly. For one thing, he's a she. And for another she's not a Mountie,
she's....an accountant." Fraser made this last declaration with such pride
that Ray felt he had to say something. 

 "Oh, you must be very proud." 

 The whole family's proud. Alexandra graduated from..." and Fraser
launched into his cousin's academic credentials with such enjoyment that
Ray just let him go on until he ran out of steam. 

 "Alexandra. Nice name. Classy." 

 "Well, actually I call her Sandy. It's more suitable for her temperament,
really. I'm afraid her demeanor is somewhat cavalier to say the least."
Ray waited for the translation he knew was coming. "Unconventional.
Unprofessional. She's a goof, Ray. Like I am." 

 Ray let that last bit pass. 

 "So when's she coming?" 

 "Next week. I'm going to pick her up at the airport next Thursday. Do you
want to come along with Diefenbaker and me?" 

 "Wouldn't miss it for the world, Buddy." 

 Usually when Fraser was standing still he stood very still, hands fixed
behind his back, perfect posture, perfect composure. But waiting at the
airport for his cousin, he bounced excitedly, shifting from one foot to
the other. Ray thought he looked like a six-year-old dressed up in a red
serge Mountie costume. They had driven out to the airport in a consular
limousine. Ray insisted on driving. Fraser had been too wound up to
concentrate. Benny's driving was haphazard enough. Any vehicle without
dogs attached to it challenged him. 

 "Sandy used to stay with us at Grandma's in the summer. We grew really
close." 

 "Were you kissin' cousins?" 

 "I imagine we may have kissed on occasion, when the relatives were
around. But children don't kiss each other often as a rule, Ray." Fraser
stopped to think about it. Realization dawned. "Oh, you mean...." The
Mountie was horrified. "Ray, we're COUSINS!" 

 "Cousins are allowed to marry in every state of the Union." 

 "In Canada too, Ray but just because something isn't illegal doesn't mean
its something you'd necessarily want to do. Sandy and me. That's just
silly, Ray." And then he pointed to the monitor over their heads. "Look!
Her flight's in!" 

 "Good. I'll finally get to meet the famous Alexandra Fraser." 

 "Oh, her name's not Fraser. It's D'Amalfi. Alexandra D'Amalfi." 

 This was interesting news for Ray. "How'd you get an Italian cousin?" 

 "By marriage. My mother's sister married a man named Vincenzo D'Amalfi.
My uncle Vince." Fraser squealed and pointed. "Look, Ray, here she comes.
In the blue coat." 

 Ray looked where he was directed and saw a small, plump, woman running
towards them. As she came closer the detective in Ray tried to figure out
what he could about her. The woman puffed as she ran, obviously out of
shape, dishevelled, her clothes decidedly out of fashion. Her hair was the
same dark brown as her cousin's, cut short. She had a pleasant face,
Benny's delicate features. So, thought Ray, the good looks must come from
his mother's side. Behind her she pulled a luggage cart, with the luggage
piled at angles that defied gravity. Fraser's description - goof - was
probably accurate. 

 The small woman flung herself at her Fraser. "Ben! Ben!" Fraser lifted
her under the arms and swung her around in circles, both laughing like
happy children. Then he put her back on the floor and bent down and gave
her a kiss - noisy, slurpy and totally devoid of any sex whatsoever.
Diefenbaker pranced around them, yelping for attention. Sandy let go of
her cousin and dropped to the floor, burying her face in the wolf's neck.
"Dief, sweetheart...my precious Dief!" More kissing and more laughing. 

 Ray couldn't stand it any more. He was genetically incapable of being
around this much emotion and not joining in. "Hey, best friend over here."


 The woman let go of the wolf, stood up and turned suddenly into an
accountant. She extended a polite hand in Ray's direction. "You must be
Ray," she stated, calmly. 

 "Oh sure. These guys get big hugs and kisses and I get 'You must be
Ray'." He pouted. 

 Sandy shot a mischevious glance at Fraser, grabbed Ray and drew him into
a bear hug. "Ray! Ray! Oh my darling Ray! You haven't changed a bit, you
sweetheart you!" Then Ray got the same smooching as the human and lupine
Canadians. 

 "Definitely a goof" thought Ray, kissing her back. "It's gonna be great
to have another cousin to play with."  

 Ray had never had a female buddy before. He knew there was such a thing
as a woman friend - other men seemed to have them. It was not something
he'd ever experienced himself. But Fraser and Sandy just took it for
granted that she would pal around with them and it felt very natural all
around. She tagged along like a little sister whenever they went to a
restaurant, or a movie or out for a walk, in fact whenever they did
anything that wasn't connected with police work. She seemed to make a
special point of not being interested in anything having to do with the
catching of bad guys. 

 Ray was amazed at her effect on Fraser. Gone was the sedate tight-ass
when he was around his cousin. He and Sandy would climb boulders in the
park and swing on swings. Ray had to get used to the two of them bursting
into operatic duets in the street, Fraser singing the soprano part in
falsetto, heedless of the stares of passers-by. Around his cousin, the
Mountie really was a goof. 

 At first Ray was concerned that all this cousinly camaraderie would
threaten his status as Fraser's best friend. That didn't seem to happen.
Quite the opposite, Sandy often said things that seemed to reinforce the
idea that the men were a team. Choosing a restaurant, she'd complain, "Oh
you guys, you always want Chinese food." Or she would roll her eyes and
call them "You two cops" when they annoyed her. It took a whole three
months before it occurred to Ray that she might be doing this on purpose.
He confronted her with this suspicion one afternoon while they were
walking Dief in the park and Fraser was off buying ice-cream. 

 "You caught me, Deee-tective," she teased. "Look, I love Ben and I want
him to be happy. Having you as a best friend is important to him." 

 Which raised another question in Ray's mind. "Sandy, how do you love
him?" 

 The woman laughed and started quoting "How do I love him? Let me count
the ways." 

 "No, really." 

 "Look Ray," said Sandy, "let's have a sense of aesthetic proportion here.
Can you imagine somebody that looks like me together with a piece of
eye-candy like Ben?" 

 "You're not that bad, Sandy. You're a little overweight but if you just
dressed up a little, maybe wore some makeup... anyway you admit you find
him attractive." 

 "Sure he's attractive. So are Francesca and Maria. So don't you want to,
ahem, date your sisters?" 

 "Ewwww." 

 "Exactly. 'Nuff said." Sandy became thoughtful. "Funny thing about Ben's
looks. Until he was what, fifteen, sixteen, he was a scrawny little guy.
Used to get teased a lot. When he started to fill out he still always had
that 'pretty' look. In the north, when we think of a handsome man, we
think of something more rugged. People form their self images when they
are young. Ben doesn't see himself as the god he really is. Probably never
will. What a shame. If I looked like him I'd be out every night." 

 "Sandy," said Ray, "Why don't you go out by yourself more? You're always
hanging around with Fraser and I." 

 "Fraser and me" she corrected him. "Objective case after the preposition.
It's a common mistake, Ray. I'm going to go find Ben. He's taking too long
with my ice-cream," She took off abruptly with Dief, ending the
conversation. Just a little too abruptly, Ray thought. He must have hit a
nerve. 

 Ray kept thinking, though, about Sandy's love life, or rather lack of
love life. She went out on dates from time to time but never had a real
boy-friend. Her looks were against her for one thing. She had the same
pretty face as Fraser, but was always sloppy, as if she spent hardly any
time on hair or dress. Which in fact she didn't. 

 Another strike against her was Ray himself. Being together with her so
much, and both of them being Italian, he though of Sandy as his own
cousin. Therefore her honour was his responsibility. Whenever she
introduced a new love interest to her pal, Ray subjected the man to a very
professional interrogation. That had to be a turn-off. 

 The third strike was that she was usually seen in the company of Fraser.
Ray had personally witnessed men checking her out and deciding to come
over and start something. Then they would get one look at the stunning
Mountie, figure she was taken and beat a speedy retreat knowing they could
never compete with THAT. It was a shame really, thought Ray. 

 Sandy had rented one floor of what used to be an old brick mansion and
was now a triplex. She acquired a television, stereo, CD, DVD and VCR all
the better to entertain herself and the boys. Sunday evening at Sandy's
became a custom. Usually she cooked, considering it her sacred duty as an
Italian woman to feed her menfolk. But when she had a very tiring or
stressful week fast food was allowed. This week had been particularly
harrowing for her. She had been working on the liaison office budget with
Thatcher, and discovering that the Inspector had no real head for figures.
Sandy, as a civilian, didn't report to the Inspector, but she did have to
be diplomatic with her even though the Dragon Lady insisted on giving
Sandy numbers that made basically no sense at all and blaming Sandy when
Ottawa complained that the budget was late. 

 On this particular evening, Fraser, Ray and Diefenbaker were waiting
around Sandy's while she went out to fetch fried chicken. Fraser was
engrossed in trying to translate "Hamlet" into the Inuit language. (A
translation was in fact available in the Inuvik public library but Fraser
thought it could be improved upon). Ray and Diefenbaker were watching a
movie about some young man who got a job as a ski instructor in Aspen. The
movie was mediocre, its plot seeming to revolve around how cute the ski
instructor was. "Hey Benny," said Ray. "This guy looks something like
you." 

 Fraser looked up from his translation and regarded the actor on the TV
screen critically. "I hardly think so, Ray. I don't see how you can watch
that nonsense." He opined. "Somebody should make a movie about curling,"
he added casually, and went back to his Hamlet. 

 Sandy came in. "Hello, boys. What are you watching?" She put the bucket
of chicken down on the coffee table in front of Ray, gave Dief a squeeze
and said, "Food, Ben. Hey, this kid on TV looks like you ten years ago." 

 "Told you" Said Ray. 

 Ray took the cardboard lid off the bucket of chicken and started to reach
in for a piece. Then he stopped, took his hand out of the bucket and
looked hard at Sandy. "Are you okay?" He sounded very worried. 

 "What do you mean?" She answered, not looking at him. 

 "Fraser, would you have a look at this bucket." Fraser came over to the
couch, peered at the chicken and frowned. "Sandy, what is wrong?" 

 "Nothing." 

 Fraser insisted. "There are wings in this bucket. You always eat the
wings in the car on the way home, but you haven't this evening. So I ask
you again, what is wrong?" 

 "I just don't feel well. I've had a rough week. It's probably nothing.
You boys eat, I think I'll just lay down for awhile." 

 Sandy headed towards the bedroom, then gasped suddenly and clutched at
her middle. "Oh Jeez.!" She doubled over and gave a cry of pain. "Oh, Ben.
I can't....breathe...hurts...Ray...I'm scared...call..." She lost
consciousness. 

 The 'boys' were instantly policemen. Ray dove for a phone and called 911,
while Fraser picked Sandy up, lay her out on the couch, checked to see if
she was breathing and then felt for a pulse. He looked up at Ray, shook
his head gravely, and pointed silently to Sandy's chest. Then Fraser bent
over her face and started rescue breathing. As soon as Ray hung up with
the emergency operator, he got into position to administer CPR. They
worked on her together until the paramedics arrived and took over. 

 Dr. Cardinal asked the admitting nurse if there was anybody waiting for
news about Miss D'Amalfi. The nurse pointed to two men in the waiting
room. One of them was sitting absolutely motionless on the edge of the
plastic emergency room bench, the other pacing and muttering to himself in
Italian. Perhaps praying, she couldn't tell. The doctor took a moment to
gaze at the quiet man. She sighed. It was silly, she knew, but she almost
envied Miss D'Amalfi. It was worth having a heart attack if it also meant
having someone so gorgeous worried about you. No that the other one was
bad either. She walked over. Fraser saw the white coat and nametag and
jumped to his feet. Ray halted his pacing and flew over to join them. 

 "It was very close. We almost lost her." The doctor told them. "But she's
stable now. I'm having her sent to intensive care." 

 "When can we see her?" asked the man who had been pacing. 

 "She's still unconscious and will be for a good six hours at least. You'd
be better off getting some rest and being here when she wakes up." 

 "Thank you kindly for the advice, Doctor. We'll certainly be here when
she wakes up. But we also want to see her now." Said the man who had been
sitting still. 

 She's a lucky woman, thought Dr. Cardinal. I hope she knows it. Then she
spoke out loud. "I'll tell the intensive care nurses to let you in - just
for a little while. Give them about half an hour to get her settled in,
then go up to the seventh floor." She left them. 

 Fraser had reverted to his before-Sandy state, not moving or talking
while they had waited for news. Even now, after hearing she was out of
immediate danger, he remained on his feet and started looking at his
father's watch with no part of him moving except his blue eyes as they
watched the hands mark the agonizingly slow passage of exactly one half
hour. Ray resumed pacing. When the time was up Fraser said "Time," tersely
and they headed towards the elevator. 

 The intensive care nurse was expecting them. "You can go in for a few
minutes, one at a time." 

 Ray produced his badge and held it up. "We're going in together. We're
cops. We know how to behave." The nurse shrugged, let them in and pointed
to the bed where Sandy was. 

 The friends stood side by side looking down at her. Ray had seen Sandy
asleep often, snoozing under a tree in the park, drifted away in front of
a late movie, or flaked out against Fraser's shoulder during a long car
ride. But now there were tubes attaching her to bottles and wires
attaching her to machines. Sandy lay without moving, while the bottles
dripped and gurgled and the machines blipped and hummed. It looked to Ray
as though the machines were alive and the woman dead. Beside him he heard
Fraser speaking low, echoing the doctor's words. "We almost lost her. Oh
Ray, we almost lost her."  

 Sandy was a week in hospital. A couple of days before she left she was
ordered to stay home and off her feet for another three weeks. This led to
the question of where she would spend those weeks. Hearing that she lived
alone, a hospital social worker wanted to send her to a convalescent home.
Fraser and Ray would have none of that. Fraser suggested that he and Dief
take time off work (the Dragon Lady's objections be damned!), move into
her apartment and undertake her care. Ray saw no reason why Sandy
shouldn't stay in his own big house where his mother and sisters were
itching to take care of her. Mama Vecchio settled the issue. She decreed
that all three Canadians would move in with the Vecchios. Alessandra, as
she called Sandy, she installed on the couch in the living room so that
she need not climb the stairs and all the household could wait upon her
easily. Benito was assigned a cot in Raimundo's room. Il lupetto was
allowed to sleep wherever he wished. Mama, Francesca and Maria would see
to Alessandra during the day while Raimundo and Benito were at work. At
night they would all be together. 

 Ray and Mama Vecchio made it clear to Francesca that she had better treat
the Mountie like a brother, or she'd be banished to stay with Aunt Rosa
for as long as Fraser was living there. It was an effective threat.
Francesca didn't want to be deprived of the opportunity to look, even if
she couldn't touch. 

 With this arrangement, Ray experienced something he'd missed as a child -
having his friends sleep over. Young Raimundo never knew which night his
father would come home and take a belt to him. So better not to have his
friends in the house where they might see that happen. But now Pop was
gone, Ray was a grown man, a cop, master of his own house. If he wanted
his friends to sleep over, he could have them - so there! 

 Ray enjoyed having Benny in the house. They talked long into the night
like boys camping out. They shaved together in the morning, Ray marvelling
at his friend's ability to use an old-fashioned straight blade. Ray talked
him into trying his own electric razor. Fraser cut himself in the attempt.
Evenings after work they all ate and talked together, Benito and il
lupetto being declared honorary Italians for the duration. 

 Ray watched his friends to see how the northerners were adapting to life
chez Vecchio. Fraser sat every night at the dinner table rhapsodising over
how wonderful it was to be part of a big family, but he and Diefenbaker
disappeared whenever they could for long walks by themselves. The Mountie
apparently needed his space. Sandy, however, fit into the Vecchio
lifestyle splendidly, having been apparently raised in a similar
household. Ray found it natural to find her waiting for him when he came
home from work 

 On the second Wednesday of Sandy's convalescence, Sandy, Francesca and
Maria were huddled together on the couch, sobbing over some chick flick.
Mama Vecchio had given Sandy special dispensation to sit up, so that the
other girls would have room on the couch with her. Fraser and Diefenbaker
were off on one of their "time out" walks. Tony and the kids had gone to a
movie. Ray wandered around the house, bored, with no one to play with. He
drifted into the kitchen and found his mother there, busy making cocoa.
She gave him a mug and he sat down with it at the kitchen table. 

 "It's nice having Alessandra here, isn't it" said Mama, casually. 

 "Um" said Ray absently. His attention was on a plate of raisin cookies in
his mother's hand and moving in his direction. 

 Mama put the cookies in front of her son. "She should be part of the
family permanently, don't you think?" she insisted. "She should live with
us all the time. You should arrange it so she stays with us." 

 "Sure, Ma." he answered, around a mouth full of cookie. "But how?" 

 Mama Vecchio gave him a playful tap to the side of his head. "Raimundo!
How do they let you be a detective - you're so stupid! Think!" She went
out to serve cocoa to the girls in the living room. 

 Ray thought. Yes, it would be nice to have Sandy in the family. If only
Angie had been like her, happy to live with the Vecchios and be part of
the family. But Angie, like Fraser, needed lots of space and had insisted
that they live alone in their own apartment and Ray had missed his family.
The traditional Italian roles didn't work for Angie, whereas Ray had
always dreamed of being the pater familias his father had failed to be -
benevolent father and grandfather of a teeming clan. He never seemed to
meet a woman who wanted the same thing. Watching Sandy with the rest of
his family, they all seemed so natural together. That's the kind of woman,
Ray thought, I could share a life with. Too bad Sandy was his cousin. 

 Then his mind wandered back to places Ray had been trying to stay away
from. Sandy - doubled over in pain. "Ray...I'm scared." Sandy - lying
white and still in a hospital bed. Fraser's tortured words "Ray, we almost
lost her." Ray felt again the chilling fear he'd known in the hospital
waiting room, while he had waited to see if his beloved cousin would live.
His cousin. Then he realized what his mother had meant and agreed with
her. He was very stupid. 

 So accustomed was he to thinking of Cousin Sandy as a relative that it
took Ray a few weeks to readjust and to accept that he was in love with
Alexandra D'Amalfi as a woman. He was so used to thinking of her as
family, he had forgotten that she wasn't his cousin, she was Fraser's. He
worried how she might react if he revealed his feelings. She never gave
any sign that she thought of Ray in a romantic way. Ray wanted to handle
this carefully and slowly he evolved a plan. 

 He waited until the Canadians were back home and Sandy back at work for a
few days. Let life return to normal, he figured. Then he arranged for the
three of them to go for supper after work one night, a completely normal
thing for them to do. Then, that afternoon, he came to Fraser's office at
the Consulate. Ray found him working away behind his too-small desk,
greeted him and then got to the point. "Benny, I don't want you to come
for dinner tonight." 

 "Okay, Ray, but you didn't have to come all the way over here to tell me
that. We'll make it another night. I'll just call Sandy and tell her."
Fraser reached for the phone on his desk to call Sandy's desk. 

 Ray stopped his hand and pushed it away from the phone. "No, you don't
understand. I want me and Sandy to go out for dinner, and not you. And I
don't want you to tell her now. I want to talk to her myself." 

 You could have taken the eyes out of a hurt puppy dog and put them in the
Mountie's face without noticing any difference. "Why, Ray?" Then he perked
up, "You want to plan a surprise for me, right? For my 15th anniversary as
an RCMP officer. That's very thoughtful, Ray." 

 "No, no, I mean, congratulations on your anniversary but that's not what
I meant. I want me and Sandy to go out - alone. Just us two. A man and a
woman. Going out for dinner. Do you understand?" 

 Fraser was shocked. "Ray! She's your cousin!" 

 "No Benny, she's your cousin." 

 Fraser leaned back in his chair to digest this. "Hmmm. Why the
subterfuge? Why not just ask her out, not that I'm advocating this, mind
you." 

 "If I just asked her, she might say no. This way she doesn't have an
excuse. Can't say that she's busy or anything because she's already going
out with the two of us, see? She can't back out." 

 Fraser rose from his chair with great dignity and placed himself in front
of his friend, hands firmly on his hips and looking very stern. 

 "Ray, I hope you realize I'll expect you to behave as a perfect
gentleman." 

 "What? Why you..." whereupon Ray launched into a very impolite commentary
on Fraser's parentage, ending with "You sleep with my sister and you dare
tell ME to be a gentleman!" 

 "Ray, I never meant to discuss this with you again, but to set the record
straight, I didn't sleep with Francesca." 

 "Don't get literal on me, man. Obviously you didn't sleep." 

 "I did nothing, Ray." 

 "Oh yeah sure, my kid sister shows up at your door in her underwear and
you don't do anything about it." 

 "I give you my word Ray, I didn't touch her." The Mountie started
blushing so hard you couldn't tell where the red tunic left off and his
skin began. "Francesca came to my room and she made her intentions quite
clear. The thing is, I just wasn't able to...well...to...um... comply." 

 "You couldn't?" Ray nodded happily. "Because she's your partner's sister.
Sacred, like." 

 "Well, that too." Conceded Fraser. 

 "What do you, mean 'too'? 

 "Remember what happened that night? Zuko's men beat me to a pulp, Ray. I
wasn't in any physical condition for ...what Francesca had in mind." 

 "Oh. You mean that kind of - couldn't." Ray found it hard to think of his
perfect, always-good-at-everything friend experiencing this particular
kind of difficulty, even when he had been thoroughly thrashed only hours
before. "Was she mad?" 

 "As a hornet. She was as angry with me for not sleeping with her as you
were when you thought I had. Ray, I'd be just as angry if I thought your
intentions towards my kinswoman weren't honourable." 

 "I hear you, Fraser." 

 He got out of there and headed towards Sandy's office. Her door was wide
open and he walked right in. She was staring at her computer screen and
didn't notice him. Ray knew that when she was concentrating on something
an earthquake could barely command her attention. He went and stood behind
her chair. On her computer screen were rows of figures. Apparently they
had some deep meaning for Sandy. Ray himself couldn't understand how
anyone could do a job that didn't involve at least some chasing, jumping
and shooting at regular intervals. Finally she became aware of Ray
standing there. 

 "Hello Ray. Aren't you early?" 

 "I just came to tell you Fraser can't make it for supper tonight." 

 "Oh well, tomorrow night then" she returned to her work. 

 "Actually, Sandy, I thought we'd go anyway, just the two of us." There,
he'd said it. How would she react? Shock? Disgust? Lust? Ray held his
breath and waited. 

 "Just us? Yeah, might be fun." She didn't take her eyes off the computer
screen nor her hand from the mouse. "Be a good chance to get ribs. Ben
hates ribs. Too messy." 

 "Sandy, you're not getting it. I don't mean we go get some supper. I mean
I take you out for dinner. I shower and shave. You put on a pretty dress
and some makeup. We're uncomfortable together." Very significantly.
Canadians could be so dense, sometimes. "Out - to - dinner." 

 "Us?" This finally forced her attention from her numbers. "But we're
cousins!" It was her turn, like Fraser and Ray had before her, to give
this some thought. "We're not cousins. Oh dear. That has implications,
doesn't it?" 

 "Do you want it have those implications? Tell me the truth, Sandy." 

 The woman seemed very confused. "Ray, to be honest, I don't know. I had
no idea you even thought of me that way." 

 "Actually, I didn't," Ray confessed. "Not at first. But then you almost
died and I got so scared. Sandy I realized I have to have you with me
forever. We have to be a family. No, wait that's wrong." He pulled her
from her seat and took both her hands in his own. "We have to MAKE a
family. Alexandra D'Amalfi, I love you." 

 "Ray, we haven't even been on a date yet." 

 "So let tonight be our first date. Are you going to let me kiss you?" 

 "Now?" 

 "No, tonight." Then Ray took the plunge. "Oh what the hell. Now." He bent
down and began to give her a long, and very un-familial kiss. She melted
against him and drew him closer. Ray kissed her mouth, her cheek, her
forehead, her neck, and then bent even lower. Sandy pushed him away,
gently. 

 "No, Ray. Somebody might come in. Ben might come in." 

 "Close the door." 

 "He'd still come in. No, just pick me up at my place at seven. You better
go now." 

 Ray left her office reluctantly. Sandy stood watching him go down the
hall and let himself out the big mahogany door. The she spoke out loud to
the seemingly empty hallway. "Ben, if you follow us on our date tonight,
you'll be sorry. Understood?" He didn't answer from wherever it was he was
hiding, but she knew he had heard.  

 As it turned out the dinner date itself was uneventful. They were not at
all uncomfortable together. Quite the contrary, they were thoroughly at
ease, like an old married couple. The only thing that was different was
their awareness of each other as a man and woman and their eagerness to
finish dinner and head back to Sandy's apartment where they could be alone
to explore this new aspect further. 

 Ray drove up and parked in front of Sandy's place. Ray turned off the
engine and reached for Sandy. She shook him off. 

 "No, Ray. I'm sure he's out there watching." 

 "You said you told him not to follow us." 

 "Not to follow us on the date. You know how literal Ben is. There's no
way he's not waiting out there for me to come home." 

 Right on cue, Fraser strode up and approached the car. 

 "Hello Ray, hello Sandy" he said blandly, his face framed by the driver's
side window of the Riv. "How was the date?" 

 "What are you doing here, Ben?" asked Sandy, rhetorically, since they all
three knew what he was doing there. 

 "Well, if your date's over I thought we'd all go have some coffee and you
could tell me all about it." 

 Sandy got out of the car, and walked around to face her cousin. 

 "Ben, go home. The date's not over yet." 

 "Oh," remarked the Mountie, "Is there something you still want to do?" 

 "Yes there is. I want to take Ray up to my apartment and..." she stood up
on tip-toe and whispered something in Fraser's ear. Fraser looked blankly
for a moment, then slid to the ground in a dead faint, hitting his head on
the door handle of the Riv as he went down. 

 "Oh dear. I didn't think he even knew what that meant." She bent down to
take care of her senseless kinsman. His forehead was bleeding. 

 Ray leaped out of the car. "My God, Sandy! What did you say to him?" 

 Sandy told him. Ray's mouth dropped open. "I...um...I don't think that's
even...um...physically possible..." 

 "That's not important right now, Ray. What is important is that we need
to take Ben to the Emergency." 

 "But..." Ray gulped "Aren't we going to...what you said?" 

 "Ray, look at his head. He needs medical attention. Help me put him in
the car." They piled Fraser into the back seat of the Riv and Sandy got in
with him, taking her cousin's head onto her lap. "Drive, Ray," she
ordered. 

 "But what about..." 

 "Shut up and drive." Ray shut up and drove. 

 Halfway to Chicago Hope the Mountie started to stir, uttered a small
groan and opened his eyes. "What happened?" 

 "You fainted, Benny. You hurt your head. We're taking you to the
hospital." 

 "Fainted? I don't understand...I..." he started to sit up, went woozy and
lay back down in Sandy's lap. "I should be wearing a seatbelt. Sixty
dollar fine if you get caught, Ray," he mumbled. 

 "You just relax Benny, we'll take care of you." Ray assured him. 

 "How did I....What happened?" insisted Fraser, but weakly. 

 "Well Benny, its seems Sandy told you something and you were so surprised
you just passed out." 

 "Told me something..." Fraser repeated, "Told me something. She said, oh
my God, she said..." 

 "She said we're getting married. Sandy and me. You were so happy you
fainted." 

 "Ray, is that what I said?" Sandy asked carefully. "Are you really sure
that's what I said?" 

 "Do you want that to be what you said?" asked Ray, innocently. 

 "Oh yes, Ray. Absolutely." 

 "That's not what I heard," said Fraser, his head still cradled in his
cousin's lap. "I heard something a lot more, um , anatomical than that." 

 "You've got a dirty mind, Benny." 

 "So you're really getting married? And we'll all be family. That's just
wonderful!" He tried to sit up and this time succeeded. "I'm okay now,
Ray. We don't have to go to the hospital. If you could just take me home,
please, I'll be fine. Head wounds always look worse than they really are."


 "Well, if you're sure," said Ray and re-directed the Riv towards West
Racine. Sandy wiped the blood from her cousin's forehead with whatever
kleenex she had in her purse. The cut wasn't serious. By the time they got
to his apartment Fraser seemed to have recovered and got out of the back
seat unaided. Then he leaned into the car window. 

 "I don't know this from first hand experience, Ray, but I'm pretty sure
it IS physically possible. However, if I even suspect you're trying it
before the wedding, I'll kill you both." He turned and went inside. 

 END 

End Kissin' Cousins by The Moo: marilyn_oprisan@hotmail.com

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