Nocturnum	   Nocturnum

 by Rushlight

  

 Author's website: http://www.slashcity.org/~rushlight

 Disclaimer: This is a piece of non-profit fan fiction and is not meant to
infringe on the copyright of the original copyright holders.

 Author's Notes: Feedback will be hoarded like the treasure it is. :) Any
comments, encouragement, critique, etc. will be endlessly appreciated.

 Story Notes: 

 

 

 Nocturnum
 by, Rushlight 

 There was something extremely comforting about being inside during a
thunderstorm. 

 Maybe it was the sound of the thunder, or the wind that screamed like a
banshee against the walls of the building. The sounds stirred primal
memories, prickling the edges of a consciousness that had barely evolved
to modern sensibilities. There was still a significant part of the human
psyche that remembered what it was like to be lost in the darkness, hunted
in a world whose only law was eat or be eaten. 

 Ben eased another log into the fireplace, carefully keeping his hands
away from the flames. The heat felt good on his face, and he basked in it
for a moment, letting the warmth seep into him. The room felt
uncomfortably cold at his back, a sharp contrast to the blast of heat in
front of him, but that would change as the fire was given a chance to
grow. 

 Behind him, Ray was laying down a nest of old blankets on the middle of
the scuffed wooden floor, muttering softly under his breath. The sight
made Ben smile as he closed the grate on the fireplace, muting the harsh
orange blaze to a dull glow. The only other light in the cabin came from
the large hurricane lamp that sat on the coffee table, casting its
flickering yellow light across the room. It seemed somehow that the lamp
cast more shadows than light, but those shadows were soft, welcoming. 

 Ben smoothed his hands over the thighs of his jeans and stood, moving
into the bright nimbus of light at the center of the room. "Do you need
any help?" he asked. 

 "Nah, I got it." Ray gave the blanket in his hands a sharp tug,
steadfastly refusing to let it win the battle he seemed to be engaged in.
Ben's lips twitched, and he ran a hand discreetly over his mouth before
his bemusement could show itself. 

 Already, the fire was beginning to raise the temperature of the room. Ben
left Ray to his task and padded over to the couch, shrugging out of his
flannel shirt as he went. He tossed the shirt over the back of the couch
and ran his hands over his arms, pushing up the sleeves of his Henley. 

 "How can you be hot in here?" Ray's voice was incredulous. Whatever
battle he'd had with the blankets seemed to have been won, and he sank
back onto them with a low sigh, burrowing his sock-covered feet under the
coverings as he laid back against the pillows. His lean form was dressed
in several layers of warm flannel shirts, worn soft from use, as well as
the ubiquitous blue jeans that seemed to be his uniform of choice in this
climate. It was almost funny, how easily he changed from his usual attire
of bright colors and silk when they came to visit Ben's home here in
Canada, like a small, furry animal changing its coat with the seasons. 

 This time, Ben couldn't stop the smile from showing itself. "It'll warm
up soon," he promised, stepping onto the soft nest that the other man had
created for them. The lamplight fell softly around them, touching an edge
of gold on Ray's shirtsleeves. "At least we made it back before the rain
started." 

 As if to underscore his comment, a sudden crash of thunder rattled the
windows, making Ray jump. The wind seemed to take the opportunity to
regather its forces, and it threw itself against the walls of the cabin
with a fearsome howl, scrabbling at the windows like some kind of mad
beast trying to find its way in. Ben could feel the shivers moving through
Ray's shoulder as he sat down beside him, and he guessed that they had
little if anything to do with the cold. 

 "I can't believe you still haven't got a TV in here." Ray's voice was
predictably gruff. His eyes, however, were fastened on the brightly
reflective panes of the windows. "We spend two weeks up here every spring;
you should know by now that we need to have a TV." 

 "I thought we came up here to get away from the trappings of
civilization." Ben kept his tone deliberately light as he leaned back
against the high pile of pillows, stretching out comfortably. This really
was a remarkably comfortable layout; whatever Ray had done with the
blankets seemed to have worked. 

 "Yeah, I know." 

 Thunder crashed again, accompanied by a brilliant flash of lightning that
momentarily illuminated everything around them. When it faded, the shadows
seemed that much darker in comparison, flocking agitatedly at the corners
of the room. 

 Ray's eyes were on the window again. 

 "We're perfectly safe here," Ben said quietly, hoping he didn't sound as
if he were lecturing. He knew that Ray had far less experience than he did
in dealing with the vagaries of weather in these northern territories, and
weathering a storm was a far different experience here than it was in
downtown Chicago. 

 "Yeah." After a moment, Ray tore his gaze away from the window and
relaxed against Ben's side, letting out his breath in a harsh sigh.
Nevertheless, his expression was still troubled as he arranged the
blankets around them. "I just kinda feel like Dorothy getting carried off
to Oz, you know?" 

 The thought made Ben smile. "I hardly think that's likely, Ray." While he
could understand Ray's baser fear of being caught outside in the storm, to
him, it was simply the sound of home. 

 "I know that." Ray's tone was wry as he snuggled in against him, curling
against Ben's side with the ease of long familiarity. He let out his
breath in a quiet sigh. "It's just the feel of it. You know what I mean?" 

 To be perfectly honest, Ben didn't. "How does it feel?" He smoothed a
hand over Ray's back as he slid an arm around him; even through the layers
of clothing, he could feel the lean hardness of the muscles there. Such an
unassuming body, to hold so bright a soul. He rubbed lightly, trying to
massage the tension out of it. 

 Ray arched into his touch with a low hum before replying. "I dunno," he
said, sounding thoughtful. "Kind of wild, I guess. Out of control." 

 "And that frightens you." It wasn't exactly a question. 

 "I suppose so." Ray looked at him suddenly, raising an eyebrow curiously.
"Doesn't it bother you?" 

 "No." And despite his best intentions not to fall into what Ray called
his lecture-mode, he said, "Nature is out of our control, Ray. It's
something that often goes unnoticed in large cities, perhaps, but it's a
fact nonetheless." 

 Fortunately, Ray didn't take offense at his tone. He settled his head
back down against Ben's chest and stared forward across the room. "Yeah,
maybe." 

 Rain pounded a relentless cadence against the windows, wrapping the room
in a snug cocoon of sound. Ray's body was a pleasant warmth beside him,
and Ben closed his eyes as he relaxed into it, enjoying the chance to
simply hold his lover in his arms, without worrying about what the future
was going to bring them. 

 This kind of quiet comfort was something they saw far too little of in
Chicago. It was a feeling Ben would have sold his soul for at one point in
his life, and almost had. It seemed amazing to him sometimes, how much he
craved this kind of connection. He'd spent so much of his life alone in
one way or another, it had become habit, and he hadn't ever really
expected to have anything more. But still the hunger had been there,
quietly relentless. He felt a sudden surge of almost unbearable gratitude
for Ray, simply for being Ray, for filling that hunger in his life. 

 So caught up in his thoughts was he, it startled him when he heard Ray's
voice again. 

 "How did you stand it, Benny?" 

 "Stand what?" he asked, lifting his head. 

 "Stand being up here when there wasn't anyone else around." Ray's
expression was contemplative. "I mean, I'm trying to picture you up here,
all by yourself, just kind of ... doing your thing. Didn't you ever get
lonely?" 

 There was something almost wistful in Ray's voice; it made Ben answer
honestly when he might have been tempted to prevaricate. "Sometimes," he
admitted, nuzzling forward against Ray's cheek and earning a small smile
as reward. 

 This time, Ray twisted slightly to look at him. There was a quiet
intensity in his eyes that gave Ben pause. "Did nights like this ever
bother you?" 

 It took a moment for Ben to decide how he was going to answer. "Not
exactly," he said. "I was raised to think of nature as a ... a companion,
not a nuisance. And, at times, as an adversary. But tonight we have
shelter, and food, and water, and a fire to keep us warm." He shrugged
slightly. "There's really not that much to be concerned about." 

 Ray nodded, seeming to process this. "How does the storm feel to you?" 

 Ben had to think about that for a moment before he answered. "It feels
very ... large to me," he said, without knowing precisely what he meant.
He wasn't good at talking about his feelings at the best of times, but for
Ray, he would make the effort. 

 Ray smiled, as if recognizing the struggle it took for him to say the
words. "It makes you feel small," he guessed. 

 "No." Ben paused thoughtfully. "On the contrary, it makes me feel like
... like a part of something larger than myself." 

 Ray's eyes glinted softly in the uneven light; he more than anyone knew
of Ben's need for connection, for a sense of belonging. It was a need that
had at one time led him down paths that they still didn't speak of, even
to this day. Even so, the understanding of that weakness in him was a
tacit part of their relationship. And always would be. 

 "I love you," Ray said, and Ben smiled. He half-turned into Ray's warmth
and lifted a hand to his face, tracing the edge of his jaw with his thumb.
A familiar warmth slid sinuously underneath his skin, pooling in his chest
as he recognized the heavy-lidded slant to Ray's gaze. 

 "I love you, too." And there came a time when words just couldn't fill
the darkness any longer, especially on nights like this one. He leaned in
for a kiss, feeling the softness of Ray's lips as they opened for him, the
warm touch of Ray's breath against his face a moment before the slick heat
of Ray's tongue slid in against his own. 

 The warmth of the fire was lulling. Ben could feel it seeping into him,
making him sleepy, but his body was singing. Ray curled against him with
the ease of long familiarity, winding one leg around him in a comfortable
sprawl as their mouths moved together in a slow, sensuous glide of lips
and tongues. Ben felt Ray's hand tighten over the back of his neck as he
bent down over him, deepening the contact between them. 

 Ray made a satisfied little murmur as he pulled away, and Ben trailed his
lips over the curve of his jaw, smiling as Ray tipped his head back in
silent encouragement for him to continue. The cabin was warming now as the
fire gained in strength, and Ben risked reaching down to pull the front of
Ray's shirts out of his jeans, giving himself just enough space to slide
his hand underneath. 

 The low sound Ray made told him the action was appreciated. Ben let his
eyes close to slits as he moved his hand over the lean muscles of Ray's
stomach, feeling the smooth skin there slide under his palm. Ray's breath
hitched slightly, and Ben let his hand move upwards, burrowing even deeper
under the layer of shirts until he was stroking across the lightly furred
expanse of Ray's chest. 

 "You feel good, Ray," he murmured, bending down to ask for another kiss.
Ray's eyes were bright in the glow of the lantern, the centers of them
vast pools of darkness that seemed to soak up the light. 

 Ray laughed shortly, a soft puff of air against Ben's face. "You don't
feel too bad yourself there, Benny." His voice was shaky. 

 Now Ray's hands were fumbling at the waist of Ben's jeans, untucking the
Henley and lifting it out of the way as he reached for skin. Ben closed
his eyes briefly as Ray's hands touched him, listening to the sound of the
rain. 

 "Ray," he whispered, and in response, Ray tugged upward on the Henley.
Ben pulled away from the seductive heat of Ray's body long enough to shed
the shirt entirely, and Ray made a pleased sound as he leaned in to kiss
the arch of his collar bone, sliding an arm forward around Ben's waist to
hold their bodies together. 

 It felt incredible, and Ben allowed himself to drift for a moment in the
incredible sensation of having Ray's mouth on him. He felt warm, and
protected, and the sounds of the storm outside only reinforced the wild
cadence of the pulse that sang through him. His hands found Ray's hips and
held on tightly as he rolled back, pulling Ray to lie on top of him. Ray's
body fit neatly against his own, as if it had been made with exactly this
purpose in mind. 

 But there were still too many clothes between them. Tipping his head back
to encourage Ray to continue in his oral explorations, Ben reached for the
buttons of his many shirts. Ray shifted slightly to accommodate him, never
once letting up with the maddening assault of tongue and teeth that made
its way up the side of his neck. Ben felt dizzy as he slid the clothing
back off Ray's shoulders, finally gifting himself with the sight of bare
skin. 

 Beautiful. He wasn't sure if he said that word aloud, but then his mouth
was full of Ray's taste as he lifted his head to suckle at the smooth
curve of his shoulder. Ray gasped sharply and surged forward against him,
and Ben's hands found their way to the enticing curve of Ray's backside
almost without his conscious awareness. Ray felt so good against him, hard
heat driving down against his own, perfectly matched with him in this as
in all else. 

 "Benny." Ray was panting now, and his eyes were glazed as he looked down
into Ben's face, bracing himself with his hands on Ben's shoulders. Ben
leaned up to lick at the edge of his jaw, and Ray let out his breath in a
gusting sigh, chuckling softly. "If you don't cut that out, this is gonna
last all of two seconds." 

 Ben grinned and tightened his hold on Ray's backside, feeling the muscles
there firm and bunch under his hands. Ray's thighs splayed reflexively as
Ben traced a finger down the back seam of his jeans, and Ray's eyes went
hazy again as he bent down to nuzzle at the side of his neck. 

 "I suppose you want me to stop, then," Ben said teasingly, reaching for
the button at the front of Ray's jeans. 

 Ray's hips twitched. "No," he whispered, making it sound like a moan. And
then, apparently thinking Ben might have misunderstood him, "Don't stop,
Benny." 

 Ray felt so hot in his arms, like live lightning, and the eagerness he
always brought to these encounters was more seductive than the touch of
his hands. Because this was Ray he was in bed with, lovely Ray, and that
miracle never ceased to awe and amaze him. The zipper of Ray's jeans slid
down with a soft purr, and Ben slid his hand inside slowly, cupping his
hand over Ray's erection through the thin material of his underwear and
giving him a good, long feel. 

 Ray was gasping rhythmically against the side of his face now, and Ben
smiled as he trailed his tongue up the side of that long neck, enjoying
the sensuous curve of it. He loved the small, needy movements Ray's hips
were making against his hand, and it seemed even more seductive that Ray
was probably entirely unaware of them. 

 Ray seemed lost now, sliding his hands down Ben's arms and sides, holding
him, making the space between them as small as possible as he pressed
their bodies together. Ben spread his thighs invitingly, and Ray sank down
between them, shaping to him perfectly. And now Ray lifted his head to
look at him, looking drugged, his eyes huge and dark in the flickering
glow of the lantern. 

 "What do you want, Benny?" The words were spoken softly, stirring the
hair above Ben's ear. They were offer and promise both, and Ben closed his
eyes against the power of them, marveling once again at the incredible
rightness of having Ray here in his arms. 

 "I want," he whispered, but he stopped there, distracted by the slow
movements of Ray's hips against his groin. He was panting harshly now, and
Ray's hand slid over his shoulder soothingly as he leaned down to kiss him
on the lips. 

 And that was the thing about having sex with Ray: Ben always wanted so
much, he wanted everything all at once, and Ray was always willing to
offer him as much or as little as he felt he could ask for. It was heady,
being the recipient of that much trust, that much devotion. That much
love. 

 "I want," he said again, more firmly this time, and he slid his hand
slowly down the arching curve of Ray's back until he reached the back of
his jeans. There were still far too many clothes in this bed with them,
and he tugged at Ray's back belt loop in frustration, unable to think for
a moment how to go about ridding himself of their presence. 

 Ray laughed again. "All right, all right. Hold on a sec." His voice was
breathless, but he managed to pull away from Ben's embrace just enough to
shimmy out of the pants. Ben watched with admiring eyes as that lean body
moved in the firelight, baring itself before his eyes. 

 Ray caught him looking, and his cheeks colored slightly. "Come on,
Benny," he protested, dropping his gaze. "I ain't all that much to look
at." 

 Ben put a hand on his shoulder to still him, and looked seriously into
his eyes. "You're beautiful, Ray," he said, wondering how Ray could
possibly fail to see it. 

 The color in Ray's cheeks deepened. "Benny..." 

 "Beautiful," Ben said again, leaning in to kiss the side of his neck. Ray
let his head fall back with a sigh, and Ben pressed his advantage,
nuzzling his way up to Ray's ear, where he took the soft lobe between his
lips and bit down lightly with his teeth. Ray shivered against him, and
Ben suckled the soft skin around his ear lightly, smoothing a hand down
his side. 

 Ray's hands were moving restlessly over Ben's sides now, and one of them
traced its way down to rub over the hard bulge at his groin. Ben's hips
bucked forward eagerly into the touch, wanting more of it. Begging for it.


 "God, Benny, if you don't lose these jeans soon I'm gonna spontaneously
combust here." 

 Grinning, Ben laid back against the blankets and unbuttoned his jeans,
feeling Ray's eyes on him as he slid them down off his hips. He pushed
down his boxer shorts as well, and once he'd shed his remaining clothes,
he tossed them off to one side, rolling back on his side to face Ray. 

 Ray's eyes had darkened again. He looked incredible, lying there with the
soft lantern light flickering across his skin. Ben couldn't resist the
urge to reach out and touch him, paying worship to that body in the only
way he knew how. He wanted to imprint Ray on all of his senses -- touch,
sight, hearing, scent, oh yes, taste... Ray's skin tasted like heat
itself, warm and musky with just the faintest salty tang of sweat. Outside
the windows, the wind screamed, as if it were encouraging him on. 

 Very gently, Ben indicated with his hands that Ray should turn over. Ray
obliged him without question, panting hard into the pillows beneath them
as he settled onto his side, facing out across the room. Ben scooted up
behind him and slid an arm around his waist, reaching down to stroke the
eager length of Ray's erection as he slid his own hardness into the warm,
sweaty space between Ray's buttocks. 

 Immediately, Ray bent his top leg forward at the knee to give him more
room, clenching one fist hard in the blankets in front of him as his
breath hissed out between his teeth. His entire body was quivering now,
and Ben trailed kisses over his shoulder and up the side of his neck,
wanting to soothe him. 

 "Ray," he said, an unspoken question. Ray replied with a short,
breathless laugh. 

 "God, Benny, if you stop now, I will never speak to you again." 

 Ben chuckled and hugged him tightly, enjoying the warm press of Ray's
back against his chest. His hand was shaking as he reached up over their
heads for the duffel bag that was lying underneath the coffee table. It
took him a moment of fumbling before he found the tube of lubricant
stashed in the side pocket, and he closed his fist around it triumphantly
as he settled back behind Ray on the blankets. 

 Ray's body felt so long and lean in his arms, so different from his own
more blocky frame. Ben held him tightly and rocked forward against him,
mouthing softly at the bare curve of his shoulder, enjoying the taste of
him, the feel of him. Ray shuddered against him, so eager, so impatient
for what they were about to do. Ben felt dizzy with the knowledge that Ray
wanted him so very badly, wanted him and loved him both. 

 "Benny..." Ray said, gasping hard as he rocked his hips back against
Ben's slow thrusts. "Don't make me beg here." His hand was white-knuckled
where it held onto the blanket in front of him. 

 Ben smiled and obliged him finally by popping the cap open on the tube of
lubricant, squeezing out a small amount of the clear gel onto his fingers.
He dropped the tube back above the pillows somewhere and moved his fingers
down to the enticing cleft between Ray's legs, circling slowly at the
opening there. 

 Ray went abruptly boneless against him, and his breath fell out of him in
a long sigh. Ray was a wonderfully sensual creature, and when he gave
himself up to the rhythms of passion, he was a sight to behold. Ben kissed
his shoulder lightly, watching with pleasure as Ray's eyes fluttered
closed on a soft moan. The lantern light flickered across the planes of
his face, darkening the layer of lashes around his eyes. 

 Ray was pressing back against Ben's fingers now, and if he couldn't make
himself beg verbally for what he wanted, his body sure didn't have that
inhibition. Ben bit down on Ray's shoulder as he slid two of his fingers
inside, feeling his breath catch in his throat as that warm channel
clenched down snug against him. 

 "You feel so good, Ray," he said, barely aware of the words as they left
him. Ray murmured something incoherent in reply and pressed back harder
against his hand, encouraging him to continue. Ben slid his fingers
further inside, deeper, twisting his hand to make sure he coated all the
sides of that inner channel equally. They'd done this enough where they
didn't really have to spend a lot of time at the preparations anymore, but
he lingered anyway, enjoying the feel of those smooth muscles flexing over
his fingers, urging him in their unspoken way to hurry, hurry, hurry. 

 "Benny," Ray said again. He was panting hard now, and sweat glistened on
the curve of his shoulder. Ben bent down to lick the bright sheen of it
away, breathing in deeply to savor the scent of him. He removed his
fingers from Ray's body reluctantly and reached again for the lubricant,
trying to keep his hand from shaking as he used it to coat his erection.
The feel of his own hand was almost more than he could take at this point,
and he bit down hard on his lower lip as he moved into position behind Ray
once again. 

 "I love you," he whispered, nudging Ray's leg forward with his knee until
Ray was lying half on his stomach, sprawled out in willing submission in
front of him. The sight of him made Ben's heart clench, and he closed his
eyes against the power of it as Ray shifted his body restlessly in
anticipation. Ben steadied the base of his erection with one hand and
pressed the tip against the dark, moist heat of Ray's cleft, teasing both
of them with the promise of what was to come. 

 "C'mon," Ray encouraged breathlessly, pressing back against him. His
voice was a low growl, thick and dark with arousal. "C'mon, Benny..." 

 Ben pushed his hips forward slowly, groaning aloud as he felt Ray's body
close around him in an impossibly tight grip that seemed equal parts heat
and pure, liquid pleasure. His hand found Ray's hip and clung there while
he pushed his way forward through the initial resistance, and then Ray's
body accepted him readily, taking all of him inside. 

 "Ray," he managed to gasp out, but there really wasn't anything else to
say. Ray was shaking in his arms; he could feel Ray's heart knocking hard
against his chest, making him dizzy, filling him with the rhythm of Ray's
arousal. He closed his arms around Ray and just held him, nuzzling forward
against his neck, breathing in the scents of sweat and need and sex that
hung in the air around them. 

 No matter how many times they did this together, it never lost its
impact. Ben continued to hold tight to Ray as he began to move, sliding
his hips back slowly and then moving in again, panting hard through the
sensations that spiraled through him. Ray's body responded beautifully to
him, matching his thrusts evenly, without hesitation. Ray was breathing
hard, his fists twisting tight in the blankets to steady them as Ben
rocked against him. 

 "Beautiful," Ben said again, trailing his lips up the side of Ray's neck
to nuzzle at the hair behind his ear. He wished Ray could see himself
right now. He looked incredible like this, flushed and needful, his skin
glowing with sex sweat in the flickering light. Ray turned his head and
groped blindly for Ben's lips, and Ben obliged him, bending forward to
kiss him, tasting the swift heat of his tongue. 

 His hand found Ray's erection effortlessly, and Ray groaned against him,
panting hard against the side of his face. "Benny," he whispered, and Ben
kissed him again, needing to kiss him, to taste him, feel him. Ray's hand
found his and twined their fingers together, and Ben held on tightly as he
continued to stroke Ray's erection in time with his thrusts, bringing them
both closer to the edge that waited for them. 

 He felt so wild, so out of control, and it was a glorious, wonderful
feeling. Ray had taught him this, how to give in like this, how to give up
everything he was in pursuit of the joy they were chasing now. He was
existing solely in the moment, without regard for the past or the future,
as unleashed and untamed as the storm that raged around them. He'd been
afraid of losing control in this way, before he'd met Ray. Before Ray had
taught him what it truly meant to be free. 

 Ray shuddered for an interminable moment, fingers digging hard into the
hand that held him. Then he tensed with a raw cry, surging like a wild
thing in Ben's arms as the liquid pleasure spilled out of him, wracking
his body with the force of its passing. As always, the sight of his climax
was like viewing the heart of nature itself, wild and uncontained and
unbearably beautiful to behold. 

 Ben bit down on the juncture between Ray's shoulder and neck, hard enough
to leave a mark, and the rippling massage of the muscles around his cock
sent him spinning over the edge, ripping a ragged shout from his throat
that seemed to echo in the close confines of the room. Pleasure exploded
behind his eyes, vibrating down his limbs, and he rode it breathlessly,
pressing his hips forward hard into the tight clench of Ray's body,
wanting to draw out the wonder of it for as long as he possibly could. 

 After it was over, he settled his head behind Ray's on the pillow,
listening to the steady patter of the rain against the glass. Ray's body
was lax in his arms, and he showed no inclination that he was planning to
move any time soon. And so Ben just held him, and nuzzled against the back
of his neck, breathing in the scent of him. 

 He thought about what Ray had said earlier, asking him if he'd been
lonely up here in the Territories when he lived here on his own.
Loneliness had been part and parcel of his existence then, it seemed,
before he'd met Ray. It was something he'd just accepted, the way he'd
accepted the vagaries of the weather. It was such a wonderful realization
to know that he didn't have to accept it any more. 

 The silvery slide of the rain on the windows was touched golden by the
light of the lantern, highlighted against the darker black of the night
outside. The light illuminated the thin layer of gooseflesh that prickled
on Ray's arm, warning Ben that they'd need something more than their skin
to cover them now that the heat of their passion was fading. He braced
himself with a hand on Ray's hip and pulled his softened cock free of
Ray's body, pressing a kiss to the side of Ray's face when he made a low
murmur of discomfort. 

 "Shh," he said, reaching for the edge of the blanket beside them and
pulling it up over them both. Ray turned and snuggled forward against his
chest, seeking his body heat perhaps, and Ben sighed in contentment as
their bodies curled together, fitting together effortlessly in the warm
cocoon that Ray had made for them. They were both a mess, but clean-up
could wait till the morning. There were more important things to dwell on
now. 

 A sudden crash of thunder outside made Ray flinch, and Ben kissed the
side of his face lightly. "It'll be over soon," he promised, feeling the
familiar post-coital languor begin to pull at him. If there was one thing
to be said about having sex with Ray, it was that it always took a lot out
of him. 

 "It doesn't matter," Ray said, sounding sleepy where he nestled against
Ben's chest. "I know I'm safe here with you." 

 Trust, undeniable and irrepressible. Ben knew better than to think he was
the saint Ray had been known to accuse him of being, and it still amazed
him that Ray would be able to trust him at all, after everything he'd done
in the past. Ray gave him so very much, and Ben couldn't help but feel
sometimes that he wasn't worthy of it. But that was the paradox, after all
-- being loved by Ray made him worthy, so in a way, he was his own reason
for being. 

 "I love you," he said, wondering if Ray could possibly understand how
much he meant by the words. 

 Ray's hand tightened around his, smoothing a thumb over the back of his
hand; yes, he understood. "Love you, too, Benny." 

 Ben smiled, breathing out a sigh of contentment. He reached up to lower
the wick of the lantern on the table, extinguishing the flame. The sudden
darkness was broken only by the low glow from the fireplace, and he
settled happily back under the blankets to fall asleep there in Ray's
arms, lulled by the drumming of the rain. 

 The End
 1/23/02 

End Nocturnum by Rushlight: n_sanity75@hotmail.com

Author and story notes above.