"Us": in Four Movements, for Two Voices	 "Us": in Four Movements,
for Two Voices

 by Aral Griffen

  

 

 Disclaimer: Corporate folks like Alliance/Atlantis own these guys. Not
me, I'm just a grad student.

 Author's Notes: Big thanks to AuKestrel, Resonant, Rowan, and Kalena for
much general encouragement and assorted varieties of beta that made this
story way, way better than it would have been. And an extra thanks to
Kalena for liking "nice" as much as I do. <g>

 Story Notes: To me, this story is candied ginger cheesecake. Let me
explain. So, a while back, I was totally swamped with schoolwork and super
stressed out about my thesis, and reading THEORY THEORY THEORY. Which I
love, don't get me wrong, but woman cannot live on intellectual
abstraction alone. Sometimes she just needs smut. Then I watched "Dead Men
Don't Throw Rice," and I got this idea for a schmoopy little sex-fest. If
all that theory is the (quite delicious in its own way)stir-fried
vegetables and brown rice that I have been eating for weeks, then this
story is the big piece of candied ginger cheesecake I decided to have for
dinner one night instead, after watching Ray show off his "beautiful
paragraph" for Fraser. It's plenty of fluffy sweetness, with a spicy kick,
and it was just the treat that I needed.

 

 

 "But I never saw the guy before! None of 'em, I swear, I never saw none
of 'em!" 

 Ray stood, arms akimbo, glaring balefully at the criminal in front of
him, from whom I could occasionally detect the scent of fear. If I had
spent the last twenty minutes on the receiving end of one of Ray's more
forceful interrogations, I imagined I might be sweating as well. 

 Mr. Lugosi's eyes darted back and forth between Ray and me. The man was
beginning to panic, I could see that, and I knew from the way Ray suddenly
became very calm that he could see it, too. I felt a small thrill at the
way the tension level in the entire room seemed to drop, as if the force
of my partner's personality, his energy, his will could control the very
atmosphere around us. His strength never brought me so much pleasure as in
these moments when he controlled it. I imagined I could see the energy in
him straining for release, in the tension of his muscles under the thin
fabric of his faded brown t-shirt...yes, he was magnificent like this.... 

 Yes. Well. I shook myself lightly when I heard Ray clap his palms
together with a gusty sigh. 

 Ray threw up his hands lightly in a shrug, and his voice became
exaggeratedly casual. "Okay! Great! You never saw the guy. Let's try
this." And he clapped a hand on the man's shoulder, guiding him over to
the chair at the table and pressing him--firmly, I could tell--down into
it. 

 He paused for a moment then, leaving his hand on Mr. Lugosi's shoulder
while the man swallowed uncomfortably and tried to look anywhere in the
room but at myself or Diefenbaker, who sat watching the proceedings by the
door. 

 Suddenly Ray turned to me, drew close, very close; our bodies were almost
touching, and I had to close my eyes for a moment to compose myself. When
I met his eyes again, I wanted very much to believe I saw a spark of
something there, but his voice and face were perfectly businesslike as he
said, "So. Fraser. This guy never saw the other guy before. Okay?" 

 I noticed a wrinkle near the outside of Ray's right eye that I had never
seen before. It was very faint, but I could imagine the way it would
deepen when Ray squinted his eyes in the sunlight, or when he smiled the
most brilliant of his smiles. How long, I wondered, before it became as
pronounced as the other wrinkles near the outsides of both of Ray's
eyes.... 

 Oh. I was managing to be no help at all to this interrogation. I cleared
my throat, then winced slightly at the awkwardness before I replied to
Ray's question. "Yes, ah, yes, Ray, he does seem to be quite clear on that
point." 

 Ray looked at me for a moment longer. I wished I knew what he was
thinking, but his face was impassive. His mind would, of course, be on the
case and his next course of action with an important potential witness. We
were in the middle of an interrogation, after all, and Ray was a
professional. As was I. A professional. On duty. 

 He strode to the table and squatted down across from Mr. Lugosi, resting
his chin for a moment on his stacked fists. In the glare of the harsh
overhead light, I could see the glint of the hairs on his forearms as they
rested on the table. He cocked his head to the left and regarded the man
across from him with a relaxed, engaging smile before he began. 

 "Mr. Lugosi, I would like to extend the gratitude and respect of the
entire Chicago Police Department to you for your assistance with this very
important investigation into the recent activities of suspected felon and
known general miscreant Mr. Leonard 'Sticky Fingers' Chaney." 

 Our intended witness looked startled and glanced up at me suspiciously,
but I only watched Ray as I felt the beginnings of a warm glow in my
stomach and chest...and groin, yes. Oh dear. 

 "Understanding, of course, for the record, that neither Mr. Chaney nor
any of his associates have ever, to your knowledge, graced the premises of
Lugosi's Used Electronics Warehouse and Pawn Shop with their presence, I
assure you that we welcome any information with which you could provide
us, perhaps knowledge gleaned from secondary sources during the course of
attending to business at your fine establishment." 

 Ray stood then, and his brow furrowed as he paced slowly in front of Mr.
Lugosi. The man appeared more confused than suspicious now. "It would
appear then, would it not, Mr. Lugosi, that the offer of protection I was
prepared to make to you is no longer necessary. Since you have no personal
or professional relationship with Mr. Chaney or his associates, then you
should have no fears for yourself or your business as a, uh, consequence
of our little conversation this afternoon." Ray moved to the door, and
reached to open it with one hand as he continued to watch Mr. Lugosi.
"I'll just tell Frannie to cancel that, ah, special protection order I got
in the works there, then?" 

 As Ray lapsed back into his normal mode of speech, I fought to keep my
lips from twitching into a smile. The criminal's confusion had quickly
given way to fear and then to resignation, and he began to offer Ray
exactly the information we had been looking for. Ray flashed me a quick
grin before he pulled his notepad from his pocket and started to jot down
notes. 

 I felt sure for a blissfully confident moment that Ray was doing this for
my benefit--not just his sudden poetic precision with the English
language, but the entire interrogation thus far. All right, to be
realistic, of course Ray was performing his job to the best of his
considerable abilities, doing his part to bring a hardened criminal to
justice. But as the words had tripped off his tongue, it felt like
a...display. No, not a display, but perhaps simply a performance designed
to bring me pleasure, or to bring pleasure to both of us, really, since I
could tell Ray enjoyed it as well. 

 And it did bring me pleasure, which I allowed to blossom inside me as I
watched him iron out the details of our arrangement with Mr. Lugosi. I let
myself be warmed by my joy in Ray's intelligence, my pleasure in his
idiosyncratic personality, my gratitude for his attentiveness to me, my
relief in knowing I could trust him both to know what was right and to do
it. 

 He grinned at me again before sticking his head out into the hallway to
summon Francesca with the appropriate forms to begin protection
proceedings for our witness. I sighed quietly and shook my head a little
ruefully. I had really been no help whatsoever. 

 Ray turned back from the doorway and approached me, smiling, looking
relaxed and pleased. Our witness was trying to ignore Diefenbaker, who was
nosing his pockets, no doubt hoping for a snack. "Well, Fraser, we're just
about donesky here. This'll just take a couple more minutes, then I should
check in with Welsh, but I am so ready to get out of this place, and thank
God it's my day off tomorrow. You hungry?" 

 It seemed as if I were unnaturally aware of every detail about Ray, as if
watching his interactions with Mr. Lugosi had induced some sort of
semi-hypnotic state of consciousness. It was odd. I felt both completely
relaxed and yet hyper-alert, at least in my awareness of Ray. And as
though everything but Ray had been obscured from my attention by some sort
of mental mist, yet at the same time my senses had all been heightened--at
least, again, as far as Ray was concerned. 

 And, to be entirely honest, my senses were already quite keen. Especially
where Ray was concerned. At that very moment, for instance, I could see a
smudge of some sort high on his left cheekbone, almost to the hairline. I
wondered idly if it was dirt, or perhaps newspaper ink. Or toner from
Ray's mishap with the photocopy machine that morning. If I tasted it, of
course, I would be able to tell for certain.... 

 "Fraser? You hungry?" Ray was looking at me, and I observed him closely
for any sign of awareness of what he was doing to me. I thought for a
hopeful moment there was something in his expression, a flaring of the
nostrils, a twitch of an eyebrow, eyes held perhaps a little too wide? And
yet I was still unable to convince myself fully that there was anything to
see. And even if there was, I was acting strangely, after all. Perhaps he
was simply reacting to my uncharacteristic behavior. This thought was
disappointing, but also, I had to admit, somewhat reassuring. 

 However, the possibility that I might be asked to explain my behavior to
Ray engaged my fight-or-flight response with an alarming immediacy. Good
grief, I was truly tired of this ridiculous inability to cope with my
feelings. I wanted Ray, I knew I did. And the more clear it had become to
me that my relationship with Ray was unlike any other in my experience,
the more I had learned to trust him...almost completely. 

 Ray was making little crackling noises behind his hand, and repeating,
"Ground control to Major Tom, Major Tom, come in--can you hear me, Major
Tom?" 

 He grinned at me and repeated his question very slowly, enunciating each
word clearly. "Fraser. My friend and partner.
Do--you--want--to--get--food?" 

 His grin was so infectious I was often left powerless to resist an
answering smile of my own. This instance proved no exception. "Of course,
Ray. I'm actually quite hungry. What were you thinking of?" 

 "Take-out?" 

 "All right. Perhaps I could finish up here if you'd like to report to Lt.
Welsh?" I could do something to assist with this investigation, after all.
And the sooner we wrapped things up.... 

 He seemed grateful for the offer. "Yeah, that'd speed things up. I'll be
right back." 

 It took no more than a few minutes to dispose of Mr. Lugosi's paperwork
once Francesca appeared at the door of the interrogation room with the
forms. I was happy to find Ray picking up his jacket and my hat from his
desk as I returned to the squad room. 

 He handed me the Stetson as he slung an arm across my shoulders. There
was a definite spring in his step as we walked across the parking lot to
the GTO, Dief trotting at my side. "All right, buddy, dinner's on me. I
vote Thai or pizza, and you might be able to talk me into falafel, but I
absolutely veto Chinese." 

 "Fair enough. Thai? And I can certainly pay for my own dinner, Ray." 

 "Nope, not tonight you can't." 

 "Are we celebrating something?" 

 He paused, though we were only a few feet from the car, and he left his
arm about my shoulders as he looked skyward and pretended to ponder the
question. "Are we celebrating something?" He squeezed my shoulder briefly
and dipped his head in toward mine as he moved us forward again and
continued, "Yeah, sure, we're, uh, we're celebrating a good day's work." 

 He dropped his arm as we went around to opposite sides of the GTO. I, of
course, couldn't let his offer stand, and I found myself pushing the point
in that particular way I know Ray finds annoying. "Ray, I agree we did a
good day's work, certainly, but that's no reason you should pay for my
meal. I do have an adequate salary of my own, you know." 

 But instead of grumbling at me as he usually would, Ray just shook his
head as he unlocked the car and leaned against the roof to look at me
before opening his door. "I'm sure you do, Fraser, but that does not
change the fact that tonight I am buying you dinner. Look, I feel good,
okay? I just feel good, and I want to buy you dinner, and so I am going to
buy you dinner, and you are going to eat it, and then we'll both feel
good, and it'll be good. Okay?" He looked completely unperturbed by the
irrationality of his argument and smiled at me with such easy charm that I
knew I wouldn't argue any longer. 

 I rolled my eyes exaggeratedly. "Oh, very well." 

 "Ooh, manners, Benton!" I could hear Ray cackle quietly to himself as he
slipped behind the wheel of the GTO and reached across to unlock my door.
It provoked a wave of affection that made my heart race as I let Dief into
the back seat before settling into the front and setting my hat on the
dashboard. 

 "I mean, thank you, of course, Ray." 

 "Oh, of course." Ray's voice was sarcastic, but there was no malice in
it, and he shot me a grin that I knew was meant to reassure me on that
point. 

 "We did do good work today. Well, you did good work in there with Mr.
Lugosi." 

 I could see a flush tinge Ray's ears at my compliment, and he didn't meet
my eyes for a moment. Then he glanced over at me and, again, there was
something there in his eyes or the shape of his mouth, I was almost sure
of it, as he responded, "Yeah, that did go well, didn't it?" 

 I could feel some of my earlier pleasure in my smile as I responded,
"Feeling especially inclined to eloquence again today, I see." 

 "Yeah, well"--and Ray reached his right arm onto the seat behind me and
craned his neck to look out the back window as he swung out of the parking
space--"I keep telling you, Fraser, I am not just another pretty face." 

 "No, indeed, you are not."  

 "Yeah, well, you get it yet?" I cuffed the back of Fraser's head lightly
and turned partway back toward the steering wheel --no, I did not caress
the back of his head, I did not stroke his hair. God, that hair, what is
with that hair? How can it be that...shiny? And dark? And thick? And soft?
Because it was soft, I could feel that when I, uh, cuffed the back of his
head there, except now the car was out of the parking spot and it was time
to move the car forward and not sit there with my hand on the seat behind
Fraser's head and my body all turned toward him like, like...like I was
going to lean in for a kiss or something. Oh, crap. 

 I met Fraser's eyes really quick to try to figure out if I was busted,
but we both smiled just a little, and it felt like one of us had just said
something, except we didn't. I don't think. I mean, not with words, but we
definitely had our mojo working today. That whole business with Lugosi had
been pretty damn fun. 

 I pulled out onto the street, humming something to myself--not sure what,
probably some commercial jingle, but it didn't matter, I just needed some
music to give rhythm to my jitters. I tapped it out on the steering wheel
as I drove. Boy, I was just amped. 

 It felt so good to be playing around with Fraser. Didn't happen too
often--a combination of Fraser being too genuinely clueless sometimes to
get it, and me being too much of a grouch to let myself get teased. But
sometimes, when things were going really, really good with us, we'd get
this rhythm going, and we'd be flipping each other shit, but it always
felt like it was really a way for us to say, "Hey, I know you" to each
other. And that is a good, good thing in my book. 

 Like I know how much he likes it when I do my cop thing. He gets off on
it. I mean, it genuinely makes him happy to see me being good at my job, I
know it. And, yeah, that feels pretty fucking great. 

 I was just about ready to go on record with myself that the man wanted
me. Yep, I was feeling it today, I was really feeling it. I'd been
thinking about it. Well, duh, yeah. But, I mean I'd been thinking lately
that it could maybe...actually happen. And there it was now, on the
record. Benton Fraser could want to fuck me. That thought gave me a happy
tingle that my body just had to let out, so I did a little shoulder shimmy
and belted out a couple lines of Led Zeppelin just for emphasis, even
though I knew I'd sound like a complete dork. I was pretty sure Fraser
liked it when I was a dork, too. Hey, if it works for him, it works for
me. 

 "Hey, hey, Mama, say the way you move--gonna make you sweat, gonna make
you groove!" 

 Fraser jumped a little and looked over at me, doing his wide-eyed
routine. "Ray?" He did sound kind of actually uncertain. 

 That made me chuckle, and I took my right hand off the wheel to pat his
shoulder. "Heh, sorry there, Fraser. But that is some fine rockin' out
music. And I--" I let go of his shoulder to point at myself--"well, right
now I feel like rockin' out!" 

 "Rocking out?" Fraser had on his "I am a student of other cultures" face,
and I knew damn well he was faking for sure now, so I went with it. 

 "Yes, Constable Fraser, `rockin' out': from the American youth slang,
meaning `to exhibit general enthusiasm in an expression, often physical,
of the exuberant energy associated with the rock and roll musical style.'
As in, `Tonight at the AC/DC show, I will be rockin' out.'" 

 "AC/DC?" 

 "Or," I continued, trying to maintain a straight face as I glanced
sideways at Fraser and saw his lips twitch, "I hate school, and I hate my
family, and I hate my life, but school just got out for the summer, and my
parents are going out of town, and I feel like rockin' out!" 

 "I see. Thank you for the vocabulary lesson." 

 "No problem, Fraser. That is what I am here for. I am a cultural
ambassador. Now you can go give do-gooding Mountie lectures at all the
high schools, and you'll be totally down with all the kids' lingo." 

 "Yes, I see how I'll be able to win them over with my mastery of their
language now, Ray. Thank you." 

 I just laughed and pulled over to the curb in front of the Thai place
near my apartment. 

 Things calmed down a little between us as we drove the rest of the way
home with the food. I still felt like I was on some kind of high, though.
It was like I was confidence-enhanced or something, but not in that drunk
way where you know maybe your judgment's kind of off but you can't really
stop yourself from doing stuff anyway. I was aware of what I was doing, in
control, just...confident. Like whatever I said or did was going to be
just right, so I didn't have to worry about anything. 

 Not that I was planning on saying anything in particular. Not exactly.
But I felt like I could, like if there was some miracle opportunity thing,
I'd know what to do, and I'd be able to do it. 

 So we got set up on the couch and dug in on the Thai food, and I just
kind of let stuff happen. Went with my instincts and followed my impulses.
Like if my hand touched Fraser's when I was reaching for the curry, well,
then my hand touched Fraser's. And if my leg ended up kind of pressed up
against his when I shifted around to get comfortable, then that's where it
ended up. 

 Fraser took one last bite of rice and curry before he set the container
down and leaned back against the sofa. Dief whined from over across the
room where Fraser had banished him for begging, but Fraser just snorted
and rolled his eyes at me. He looked good. Really relaxed. Too bad he was
all buttoned up in that uniform, though. He let his head drop back and
closed his eyes. "That was a very fine idea for dinner, Ray. I think
Lamai's curries have really improved since they began ordering their
spices from that importer you recommended." 

 "Yeah, well, Mr. Truong is a good guy, runs a good business. Really
helped his kid pull himself out of that gang stuff after I busted him." 

 I shifted on the couch again, moved my left leg, and when I put my foot
down, my toes landed just a little bit on top of Fraser's foot. Mm, the
leather of his boot was all smooth and cool under my bare foot. Nice. God,
just feeling his boot with my toes was giving me a zing that started right
down at the base of my cock. I moved my toes around some, and I thought I
heard Fraser make a noise, like a little hum or a sigh or something. 

 "I know. I'm glad you were able to help them." Fraser's voice was low and
quiet. He had turned his head to the side to look at me, and he was
smiling in this really sweet way. Wow. He looked a little flushed,
probably from the spicy food, and a little piece of his hair had curled
down onto his forehead. 

 I felt like brushing it back. So I did. And his hair was still really
soft, so I let my fingers push all the way back through it before I took
my hand away. "Your hair's being disorderly, Fraser." 

 Fraser swallowed really hard. "I'm...sorry. That won't do." His eyes
looked kind of shiny. 

 "It's okay. I took care of it." 

 "Thank you." 

 Neither of us was moving, but our eyes were, like, stuck on each other,
like we couldn't look away. 

 "So, Fraser, you finished eating?" 

 "Yes." 

 "Yeah. Me, too." 

 "Yes, ah, I am, too." 

 "You just said that, Fraser." 

 "I know." 

 "Oh." 

 "Ray?" 

 "Uh, yeah?" 

 He just looked at me for a moment, then he actually stuttered a little.
"I, I don't know what to ask you." 

 "You can ask me anything, um, anything you want. Or, or tell me anything
you want." Okay, so my words weren't coming out too smooth, either. 

 "All right, thank you." He paused and his tongue flicked out over his
lower lip. I swear to God, the next thing he said was, "Your, your foot
feels...very nice. It's on my foot." 

 All I could do was blink at him for a few seconds. "That's what you
wanted to say to me?" 

 I could not believe we were having this conversation. I couldn't believe
we still hadn't moved, neither of us, just frozen, staring into each
other's eyes. But our mouths sure kept moving, and the words just kept
coming out. Man, my heart was going a mile a minute, but my voice was so
totally steady you'd never know it. And the weird thing was, I still
wasn't really scared or anything. My heart wasn't pounding because I was
freaking, it was just...I don't know, it was pounding because this was
happening. It was actually happening, and it didn't matter if Fraser and I
kept on having this weird nonsense conversation for hours because it was
still going to happen, no going back, no matter what. Hallelujah, praise
the lord, and... holy shit. 

 "Well, no, not exactly, Ray. I don't know how to--I'm not sure what--how
do you--" 

 Nope, I guess the conversation wasn't going to go on for hours because I
couldn't just let Fraser flounder around like that, that's not buddies.
And thank God, really, because I was having all kinds of little zings
going on inside me now. 

 "Hey! Fraser!" I interrupted. 

 Fraser closed his mouth and raised his eyebrows. Then, "Yes, Ray?" 

 "Um." Well, my follow-the-old-instincts plan seemed to be working pretty
good so far, so I figured I should keep it up, even though actually saying
something was a little harder than just letting myself sit extra close on
the couch. But it looked like this was that miracle opportunity thing, and
I sure as hell wasn't going to waste it. "Fraser, you...you're my, uh, the
best friend I've ever had, and I'm...I'm getting these huge chills right
now from thinking about how much I, wow, I really want you." 

 "You do?" Fraser's voice cracked on the second word, but his eyes didn't
leave mine. 

 "I do. And I think you know I do. And I want to kiss you now." 

 "You do?" Fraser sat up quick when he said that, and his hair had a
couple of funny little tufts on the right side of his head where it had
been lying on the sofa back. 

 I smiled at him and reached out my left hand to smooth it down. "Boy,
your hair's pretty feisty today." 

 Fraser just closed his eyes. I felt him press into my hand where it was
still cupping the side of his head. So I curled my fingers to hold onto
his hair and leaned my face in close to his. My lips were on his cheek,
right next to his mouth, and my right ear tingled where he was breathing
on it. 

 "I do, Fraser. Right now," I whispered, my lips just ghosting over his
jaw. And then I turned my face until I could feel his lips, God, soft and
rough and already moving, following mine. It was like his mouth was
reaching for my mouth, and then our tongues were sliding against each
other, and it was all hot breath and warm wet mouths mingling together.
Both of my hands were gripping the back of his head and holding him to me.
I could feel his hands on my shoulders, then on my hips, then up to my
hair, like he couldn't decide where to put them. 

 I was already moving up onto my left knee, turning towards him, looking
for leverage, leaning into him. I moved my right knee over between his
legs where there was just barely room for me to rest my weight on the
sofa. When my knee pressed into his crotch, he let out this beautiful moan
and pulled my hips down so I was straddling his thigh, which he started
pushing up into me, and in two seconds we were clutching and pawing and
licking at each other. The jolts of pleasure spinning through me left me
dizzy, and I pulled my mouth off his, gasping and grunting a little as we
immediately found a rhythm, rocking our bodies together. 

 My eyes were squeezed shut from focusing so hard on the softness of his
hair between my fingers and the hardness of the muscles in his thigh
between my legs. God, not to mention the hardness of his cock where he was
rubbing it against my knee, over and over. My cock was throbbing against
the fly of my jeans, and some dim part of my brain was thinking it might
be good to get out of them before I came all over myself. I could hear
both of us panting, and I tried to talk through the waves of tingling
hunger that were rolling through me every time one of us moved. 

 "Fraser--uh, God--Fraser, this is--wow, okay...." I trailed off, and with
a really, really big effort--I deserved a merit badge just for this
effort--I got my hips to stop rocking into him. He didn't even notice at
first, just kept pushing himself against me, grunting and moaning a
little. His eyes were closed tight, too, and his lower lip was caught
between his teeth. He looked up and saw me watching him, but his eyes
looked a little glazed, and it took him another couple seconds to stop
moving. Seeing him so totally caught up in it was pretty incredible, and
it was so hard not to just go for it right there on the couch. But I
wanted a hell of a lot more than coming in my pants with the wolf watching
from across the room. So I needed to slow it down a little. I was still
holding his head in my hands, and I let my fingers move in his hair while
I looked into his eyes. He just watched me, panting. 

 "Ra--Ray?" he gasped out. 

 I grinned at him. "Hi, Fraser." My voice came out all breathy and low.
Yeah, not so steady anymore. 

 "Hello." He smiled back, and then we were quiet for a couple more
seconds, just looking at each other and breathing hard. 

 "I'm sorry I didn't take you by the Consulate to change out of your
uniform." 

 That startled him into looking down at himself, and he almost seemed
surprised to see that he was wearing it. "No, I didn't think of it either.
I suppose I was somewhat...eager to get here." 

 "Eager. Uh-huh, I am all over that. Well, uh...." I suddenly realized I
was still straddling Fraser's thigh, half in his lap, and my fingers had
somehow found the skin between the top of his collar and his hairline. Wow
again. Still happening. I dipped my fingers into the neck of the uniform,
feeling Fraser's skin warm and a little sweaty underneath it. 

 Fraser's mouth fell open a little and his tongue moved over his lips, but
slowly, not that quick nervous flicker. His eyes drifted closed as my
fingertips rubbed slow lines up and down the back of his neck. "Ray, I
think I might...mm...take off my tunic." 

 "That is a truly excellent plan, Fraser." I leaned over and kissed him
again, softly, slipping my tongue in for a gentle little lick just before
I pulled away and off him. 

 He sat there for a second with his eyes closed before he pushed himself
up off the couch. I guess maybe I felt a little awkward as we stood there,
but not too bad, not like anything that was going to stop us. And I knew
what I wanted, so I just said it. "I really want to go in my bedroom with
you now." 

 Fraser nodded fast. "All right." 

 "And you can take off your uniform there." 

 "Yes." 

 "And I'll get naked, too, because I really want to get naked with you." 

 "Please do." Fraser was trying not to smile. I could see the guy I was
about to fuck twinkling behind Mr. Innocent Face. But damn it, we were
actually standing up now, on the way to nakedness and sheets, and I was
not going to launch myself at him and fuck him on the hardwood floor. 

 "Okay then. So let's...." And I made shooing motions toward my bedroom. 

 "By all means, lead the way." And Fraser bowed for me to go ahead of him.
I kissed his cheek quickly as I pushed past him to lead us into my
bedroom, shaking my head a little at the whole way this thing was going
down. We were so weird sometimes. But it was working for us. In a big way,
it looked like, so I was not even thinking about complaining. 

 I turned on the lamp by the bed and kicked a few clothes into the corner.
The bed wasn't made, and it had been a few days since I changed the
sheets, but I didn't care, and it didn't look like Fraser cared either. He
was standing at the foot of the bed, watching me again. Geez, he could
look so intense sometimes...it was giving me goosebumps. I came back to
stand near him, just a couple feet away. Our eyes were doing that stuck on
each other thing again, and he kept them right on me as he started
unbuckling and unbuttoning and peeling back Velcro and all that other
Mountie uniform stuff. He even kept his eyes on mine as he went down on
one knee and then the other to unlace his boots. I bet he could put that
uniform back on in a completely dark room with one hand tied behind his
back. I was so busy looking back and forth from his eyes to his busy
fingers that I kind of missed out on the big picture until he stood back
up. And when he did, I got hit with this ache, like my whole body seized
up with this big cramp of wanting him. 

 I let my eyes take in Fraser, in the dim light of my bedroom,
half-dressed. His boots were loosened, and he still had the pants on, but
they were hanging open and his cock was pressing hard against the white
boxers underneath. It took me a second to look away from that, but then I
saw his chest. Bare. Yeah, I remembered him pulling off the undershirt. My
lamp was making his skin glow all golden even though I knew he was really
pretty pale, and his nipples stood out kind of pinkish brown on his chest.
I could see just a little dark line of hair running down the middle of his
belly into the waistband of his boxers. 

 He wasn't moving at all, except where his chest was rising and falling as
he breathed. I licked my lips and watched as his tongue flicked out across
his lower lip a second later. 

 "More comfortable?" I croaked. Steady was a long time ago. 

 "Yes. Are...are you comfortable?" Fraser asked, nodding his head at me. 

 Was I comfortable? Sure, except for trying to keep my cock from climbing
out of my pants and rubbing itself all over his body. Oh--pants! Right. I
grinned apologetically. "Not quite, Fraser. But I'll get right on that."
And I winked as I reached my right arm down my back to grab my shirt and
pull it over my head. 

 But Fraser reached for my elbow and stopped me. "Perhaps I could help
with the process?" His voice was warm and husky. 

 He kept his hand on my elbow as I brought my arm down, and then he ran
both hands up my arms and down my chest to the bottom of my t-shirt. I
couldn't help shivering when they slipped under my shirt and around my
sides. God, they were so warm, and I could feel the calluses on his
fingertips from playing the guitar. I closed my eyes to feel him better,
so I wasn't expecting it when he kissed me, and it made me jump a little.
I got with the program, though, and leaned into it, giving him my tongue,
part of my brain still aware of his hands sliding up to my shoulder blades
and then down to the small of my back. Then they moved back to the front
of my jeans, and he slipped them under the waistband to begin unbuttoning
my fly. I couldn't help moaning as his fingers brushed against my cock
through my briefs, over and over, little spikes of desire shooting through
me each time, until the last button was undone. 

 His mouth pulled away, and I opened my eyes when he tugged up on the
bottom of my shirt. I ducked my head forward, so he could pull it off me. 

 I tried to stand there, like he did for me, and let him look at me. But
honestly that last bit with my fly had pushed me right up near the edge of
my self-control. I needed to touch him. 

 So what the hell, I grabbed him and we both breathed in sharply when our
arms went around each other and our chests came together. 

 "Oh...Ray...." he murmured as he bent his head to rub his face into my
neck. Oh man, that was his tongue there on my neck, no, my jaw, my ear. 

 "Kiss...Fraser...c'mere, let me kiss you, I need to--" There. I finally
got my mouth on his again, and we were thrusting into each other, rubbing
our bodies together any way we could, and that satisfied me for a while.
But then I guess I got tired of itchy wool pants under my hands instead of
his ass because it suddenly occurred to me that we still hadn't gotten
naked. 

 I didn't even say anything. I just put my hands on Fraser's shoulders and
pushed myself back off him. He looked confused, but I grabbed my jeans and
underwear and pushed them both down together, kicking them off somewhere,
I didn't care about that right now. Before I had even finished, he was
reaching down to pull his boots off, and then his pants, but he did take a
second to drape them over the chair with his other clothes. 

 Oh yeah--now we were naked. His cock was as hard as mine, standing out
from his body, leaning to the left a little. The head was shiny and wet
and very dark where it was pushing through the foreskin. Time for another
"wow" moment for me. I was looking at Benton Fraser's cock. Because he was
naked, with me, in my bedroom. 

 I think we reached for each other at the same time. As soon as I felt
that cock rubbing against mine, I was completely done with the standing up
part of the evening. I pulled him down onto my bed with me, kissing
anything that got near my mouth. Shoulder, cheekbone, nipple--and that one
made Fraser gasp--upper arm, earlobe. Then we were stretched out next to
each other, and I kept it up, leaning in for little kisses all over, my
hands going to town on Fraser's body. Didn't take long for my right hand
to find his cock, and I didn't mess around, just held my fist around it
pretty tight like I like and started pulling my hand up and sliding it
down, real slow, trying to spread around as much as I could of the slick
stuff he was giving me. 

 It seemed like all Fraser could do at that point was moan and breathe
hard. God, his hips were already moving with me, I was getting into a
rhythm, and it was good, so good, fuck.... He must've still had a couple
brain cells working because suddenly I felt those callused fingertips
sliding around my cock, Christ, and it shocked me with so much goodness
that I couldn't help bucking into him hard. It threw our rhythm all off,
but I couldn't stop, couldn't stop, and for a few seconds we were just a
jumble of random thrusting and groaning. 

 Oh God, I felt like I was going to fry my brain
completely--short-circuit, total blow out, bye-bye, no more Ray. Fuck,
maybe I'd just cry. And suddenly I really, really needed to get back some
control, like, immediately. Pretty sure my "going with the flow" plan
didn't include bedroom hysterics or complete mental breakdowns. 

 So I rolled away from Fraser. Lay there on my back, staring at the
ceiling and listening to myself heave in some air. Sometimes a guy just
has to regroup.  

 Ray's eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and his breath came in harsh pants.
I thought I could feel the tension radiating from him, though he had
rolled far enough from me that we were no longer touching. 

 "It's all right, Ray." 

 I kept my voice quiet, so as not to startle him, but I tried to put all
the weight of my conviction into it. This was all right. All of it. There
was nothing that could happen here between us that would be anything else.


 "If you say so, Fraser." He laughed after he said it, but his voice held
a hint of hysteria. Where was the calm and purposeful Ray of a scant half
hour earlier, telling me he wanted to take me to his bedroom and "get
naked" with me? I remembered how utterly gripped I had been by the
chemistry I felt between us, as taken with Ray in his living room as I had
been in the interrogation room, and it had made me just as useless. But
Ray had pushed forward so steadily, so almost casually, that he made it
easy for me to simply allow this to happen, allow us to happen. 

 And now I was so calm and my own voice so steady, when only minutes
earlier I had been nearly unable to form words at all. I supposed it was
because calm was what Ray needed from me at that moment. As was so often
the case, I was incapable of responding to his need with anything but an
automatic attempt to give him whatever was in my power to give. 

 I rolled onto my side and propped my head up on my right hand. Ray was
still staring at the ceiling, but he closed his eyes and swallowed when I
rubbed my left hand on his shoulder, then moved it down his arm to clasp
his hand with mine. He immediately turned his palm up so our fingers could
intertwine. 

 "I'm okay, Fraser." 

 "I know." 

 "Good." He squeezed my hand, but still didn't open his eyes. "Just
regrouping." 

 "Don't let me stop you." 

 He snickered and raised one eyelid to look at me. "Hey, Fraser." 

 "Yes?" 

 "I think I've regrouped." 

 "I am inordinately pleased to hear that." 

 "Yeah?" He let go of my hand and leaned up on his elbow instead, as he
rolled up to face me. He reached out to run a finger over my collarbones,
leaving trails of gooseflesh tingling in its wake. 

 "Yes, because now you'll be able to kiss me again. Which you may.
Whenever you're ready, of course. Or perhaps...hmm, Ray, I believe I'm
going to kiss you now." And I leaned forward and kissed him with the same
conviction my words had carried earlier. 

 When we broke apart, our bodies had moved closer together. We were, in
fact, pressed together all along them, and my flesh flickered with heat
everywhere we touched. 

 He leaned his forehead against mine and smiled into my eyes as he panted.
"It's pretty fun, huh?" 

 "Kissing you?" 

 "Well, yeah, duh, but.... No, I meant that thing where you just do
whatever you feel like right in that moment, like you say you're going to
kiss me or you kiss me or...." Ray trailed off and just grinned at me for
a moment. "Hey. Fraser." 

 "Mmm...?" I had begun to rub my forehead lightly against his and closed
my eyes. 

 "Kiss me." 

 Oh yes, I could do that. So I brought our mouths together again and
cupped my left hand on his neck, leaning into his body. As the kiss
deepened, our groins brushed and bumped together, and I felt my entire
body flush with need for him. I leaned further and he relaxed back onto
the bed, bringing me with him by slipping his left arm under me and
wrapping it around my back. I did not rest on him with my full weight, and
I liked the leverage it gave me to thrust against him. He immediately
opened his legs slightly to wrap them around mine and better align us, and
I moved my mouth down to lick and suck at his neck. He tasted so sweet to
me, though I knew he should be salty and perhaps a little sour from the
sweat of our lovemaking. 

 "And, yes...it is... rather liberating." I spoke in between gentle bites
to the tendon connecting the muscles in his neck to those in his shoulder.


 "What?" Ray sounded distracted, a little confused. 

 I gave his neck a final nuzzle and raised my head to look into his eyes.
I was gratified to see him looking as dazed as I had felt so frequently
that day. His cheeks had a rosy glow that compelled me to lick gently
along his left cheekbone, provoking a quiet sigh from him before I
continued. "I said it is rather liberating. The thing where you just do
whatever you feel like right in that moment." 

 Ray tried to speak as he smiled. "Right, that, that thing...it's
good...." I don't think he even realized that he was still moving
underneath me. His hands drifted over my back, sometimes lower, and every
so often they would grip me and pull me to him slightly as he slid the
hard length of his penis against mine. The stickiness between us added
delightful friction, and I was finding it very difficult not to continue
with my own movements. 

 But as I gazed down at Ray, his eyes regained their focus, and I could
see him become more serious. Soon, he was looking at me intently, and his
eyes appeared wider and brighter than usual, as they sometimes did when we
were communicating at our deepest, most important levels. I was sure I
needed to hear whatever he was about to say. 

 "Fraser. What do you want here?" 

 "What do I want? I want--" 

 But before I could continue, Ray interrupted me. "Because I need to know
how this is going to go here. I mean this--" and he nodded down at our
bodies rubbing together. I had been unable to stop myself from moving with
Ray, and now we slid together slowly, in small movements. No urgency, just
long, drawn-out moments of pleasure. It was so easy to become lost in it
again. 

 "Fraser? Are you listening to me?" Ray's voice was slightly sharp. 

 I immediately stilled my body and brought my eyes to his. "I am, Ray. I'm
sorry. It's just...." And this time I nodded down to where his hips still
shifted under mine. 

 "Oh. Right. Heh." And he smiled at me a little sheepishly. His hips
stopped rocking. "Anyway, what I was saying was--" 

 This time I interrupted him. Oddly, I felt no rush of adrenaline to
accompany the declaration I was about to make, none of the panic or
indecision that had always overcome me before when I was presented with
anything resembling an opportunity to broach the subject of my feelings.
Now it only seemed important that I reassure Ray and make him understand
exactly what I wanted from him, from us. "Ray, I want you. I want to be
with you. You're my partner, and my very dear friend, and I know that I
love you. I'm, I'm not entirely sure what the consequences of all this
might be, really--practically speaking, I mean. Jobs, privacy. There are
your parents to consider. And my father. Well, the less said about that
the better, I suppose. In any case, Ray, I'm not sure how else to reassure
you, but--" 

 "Fraser! Hey there! Major Tom!" 

 I was going to have to ask about that one sometime. But before I could
say anything else, Ray continued, "You're a huge freak." His eyes seemed
to have become even brighter, and I could see he was barely holding his
smile in check. 

 "I have heard that before, Ray--and from a surprising number of sources."


 Ray chuckled and leaned up to kiss me hard, then let his head drop back
onto the pillow. His face was lit with the brightest smile I had ever seen
there. I was thoroughly captivated by the way it changed the lines of his
face, and I could not look away from him. Ah, yes, I had been right--the
faint wrinkle near his right eye was much more pronounced when he smiled
so widely. I was about to lean forward and press my lips to it, when he
spoke again. 

 "First of all, freak"--and he punctuated the epithet with another hard
kiss, this time releasing my lower lip from between his teeth only very
slowly, then resting his head back again. "First of all, I was kind of
asking about what you wanted, you know, here"-- and he nodded again to our
embrace. "I mean, I've never actually had, like, the full-on sex with a
guy before, you know? I've been around a couple different blocks,
but...anyway, I just wanted to know what you were thinking. Not like I'm
saying no to anything, I just wanted kind of a heads up. Heh. But you know
what I mean. I just wanted to know where things were going. Because,
uh"--he looked a little embarrassed, but he rotated his hips into me
again, slowly--"I think I need to get there really soon." 

 I wanted to answer Ray, but I didn't know quite what to tell him. It
appeared I might have more experience with men than he did, but, truth to
tell, I wasn't sure I understood the difference between "going around a
block" and "full-on sex." I supposed that conversation could wait since
the issue at hand was what we were going to do now. But there had been no
plan. Though I had vividly imagined a thousand ways to make love to Ray, I
found that here in this moment, with him really beneath me, I simply
responded to Ray's pleasure and followed my own. I opened my mouth to tell
him so, only to find him watching me with a familiar look of exasperated
patience. He grinned at me and continued to speak himself, before I could
begin. 

 "Pay attention, Fraser, I don't want to have to waste any time repeating
myself." He thrust his penis slowly against mine again in reminder, and I
resolved to listen very closely. "So, second of all--jobs, privacy,
parents. Details. Whatever. We'll work it out. And third of all, about
your dad? You're going to explain that to me sometime, but not right now
because we need to fuck soon or I'm going to die." 

 That startled a laugh out of me, and Ray leaned up one more time to kiss
me. I pulled his tongue into my mouth this time, and reached a hand around
to hold his head up, so the kiss could linger. Finally, I laid his head
gently back on the pillow. The same beautiful smile spread across his
face, and he laughed, too. 

 "Plus, and fourth of all, I also love you, Fraser." 

 I didn't wait for him to say anything else, just dove for his mouth and
kissed him until my body was thrumming with the pleasure of it and Ray had
spread his legs as wide as he could, hooking his left leg up over my right
thigh. I pulled back enough to run my nose down his neck and onto his
chest, where I began licking and kissing his nipples. His hands clutched
my shoulders as I sucked the small, hard nubs into my mouth, over and
over, one after the other. Eventually I made my way back to his mouth and
brushed my lips back and forth across his several times before I
whispered, "Ray, I'm not sure what to tell you about...this, what I
want...I want anything that happens, I want you, in any way, every
way...but...." 

 "Fraser, it's okay." He whispered back, then kissed me lightly. "It's
okay. We can go with it. We'll talk later. This is all good. It's good." 

 So I touched my tongue to Ray's lower lip and trailed it lightly back and
forth where I had brushed my lips moments before. He sighed and closed his
eyes, and then we were kissing again. Ray's leg still anchored me to him,
and his hands rubbed circles on my backside, one occasionally sliding down
between my legs. Every so often, his fingers dipped into the cleft there,
stroking up and down it. I found myself pushing up into his hand when a
finger brushed across my opening, and it paused there, circling with
gentle pressure, barely pressing inside. 

 He kept his finger moving, but pulled his mouth away from where it had
been nuzzling my earlobe and said, "Fraser, I need you to reach into the
nightstand drawer. Get that little tube, okay?" 

 Without lifting my own lips from his face, or even opening my eyes, I
continued to press gentle kisses along his cheekbone as I reached my left
arm out, pulled open the drawer, and felt for the tube. I brought it to
where I could feel Ray's unoccupied hand resting on my side. His other
hand continued to stroke and caress me. 

 I heard the sound of the cap on the tube flipping open, then Ray's
fingers left me, and I felt a momentary flash of frustration that made me
growl quietly as I brushed my lips down the side of his face. 

 "Shhh..." he murmured into the hair behind my ear. "Shhh...it's
good...here..." And then I felt his fingers slide between my cheeks again,
only warm and slick, and when they reached their destination, Ray didn't
hesitate at all. Two of his fingers slid deep inside me, and I groaned
into his neck as my penis surged against him. He was still murmuring,
"It's good...see?...I got you...." 

 As he began to thrust his groin harder up into me, his fingers slid in
and out more quickly. When they rubbed across my prostate my hips slammed
forward with the pleasure, and we both grunted as it brought our erections
together with a delicious force that nearly undid me. I had to kiss him
again, to feel his mouth while I was feeling this. The kiss was frantic,
and I know I bit him more than once. His kept his fingers moving over my
prostate, varying the pressure slightly in a way that pushed me closer and
closer to my release. I loved the feel of him sliding against me as much
as his fingers inside me, but I had an idea. 

 "Ray," I said against his lips. 

 It took him a moment to respond, then, "Yeah?" 

 "Let me...." 

 "Yeah, anything, just...." 

 So I shifted my weight slightly more to my right, which had the effect of
pushing me farther onto Ray's fingers, and I lost myself briefly in our
movements again. But I knew what I wanted. I rested my weight more fully
on my right elbow and left my right hand in Ray's hair, then brought my
left hand down to grasp both our erections and bring them together, so
that they slid against each other and through the circle of my palm and
fingers. 

 "Ooohhh..." Ray groaned. "Yeah, that's so good, fuck, Fraser...." 

 "Ray, can--can you help me?" I found it difficult to speak. Nearly all my
attention was occupied by the pleasure that assaulted me with every
movement of my hand, or Ray's fingers, or either of our bodies. 

 Thankfully, he knew exactly what I wanted, and he brought his other hand
to join mine. With two hands to hold us together, our thrusting could
become wilder. I panted into his neck, and his mouth moved in my hair as
we strained together. 

 I abandoned my body to the complicated rhythms of our movement,
concentrating my attention on the muskiness and saltiness and smooth
hardness of Ray. Then, for a few perfect moments, the sliding of his
fingers inside my body synchronized with the rhythm of our hands squeezing
our erections together, and it was all I needed, I was lost to it,
thrusting my hips frantically and locking my mouth onto Ray's shoulder. I
felt the tension begin in the pit of my stomach and spread throughout my
body, all of my muscles contracting, and as they released all at once in
the explosion of my orgasm, I lifted my mouth to groan with relief. I
arched up into it, pushing myself into Ray's grip with each spurt of hot
fluid onto our hands. I remained poised above him for several moments,
following each ripple of sensation with my awareness as it tickled down
the backs of my legs or up my neck to the top of my scalp. Finally I
lowered myself down onto Ray, resting my right cheek against his, so I
could be close to him as I waited to come back to myself. 

 I felt his penis still hard and pulsing against our hands at the same
moment that I noticed the kisses he was placing gently in my hair and on
my ear. I lifted us apart enough so that I could release my softened
penis, but when Ray started to pull his own hand away, I wrapped both our
hands more firmly around his erection and began to slide them up and down
it. Ray kissed me hungrily as I found his mouth again, and his hips began
to snap his erection sharply into our joined fists. I left his hand
pulling on the shaft and moved mine to cup and rub the head. Its heat
burned into my palm, and as his thrusts speeded up, I began to squeeze it
rhythmically, and left his mouth to suck and nibble on his earlobe. 

 As soon as Ray's lips were no longer occupied with mine, he began to
moan, occasionally murmuring words, only half-intelligible. I heard
"Fraser" more than once, and "yeah" and possibly "more," though that may
only have been a sigh. In less than a minute, the hand that had been
inside me was clawing at my back and the only word I heard Ray saying was
"please." His own hand pumped desperately at his erection and I rubbed
mine more vigorously around and around the head, squeezing and stroking it
with my fingers. Suddenly his breath caught and he grunted. His whole body
heaved upward, his penis stabbing violently into our hands in a rapid fire
of sharp shallow thrusts. As my hand filled with the wet heat he released,
I had to groan myself at the pleasure I knew he was experiencing. I could
see it in the intense concentration of his expression, his eyes squeezed
tightly shut and his lower lip caught between his teeth. I felt my heart
lurch with the intensity of my desire for him, my need for us to give this
to each other, to be with each other in this, as in our friendship and our
partnership. 

 We lay together for a good five minutes before I felt Ray try to move
under me, and I lifted my head from the pillow to look down at his sweaty,
flushed, and much-beloved face. All the tension Ray had been carrying
since earlier in the afternoon now seemed spent. Everything about him
appeared somehow softened, the lines of his face relaxed. His hair was no
longer neatly spiked, but tousled and damp. His gaze on mine was liquid
and calm. As he gave me a drowsy smile, I felt my lips predictably form
one in answer. I was surprised by how we felt so much the same as ever.
Still us, only, perhaps, more so.  

 Jesus, I felt totally flattened. I knew fucking Fraser would be good, I
knew having all that intense concentration focused on my body would turn
me on like nobody's business. Hell, it just about gave me a nervous
breakdown for a couple minutes there. But he had just stepped right up and
taken care of things. Looking up at Fraser and remembering exactly how he
had taken care of things--and, hey, I took care of a few things for him,
too--I felt a little tingle in my balls that made me smile at him. He
smiled back, but he didn't say anything. God, I just wasn't expecting it
all to feel so normal. 

 It occurred to me that Fraser might want to shower, and that sounded like
a whole new kind of fun, but I honestly didn't know if I was up to it. It
wasn't just Fraser's weight holding me down--I could barely move a muscle.
I'm not one of those guys who always conks out right after sex, but I
hadn't come that hard in so long that I think my body needed some down
time to process the whole experience. Which was just fine, really, because
who needed to go anywhere? I was good right where I was, with Fraser
smiling down at me, loving me with those bright blue eyes. 

 "So. Fraser." 

 "Yes, Ray?" 

 "I was thinking how good it would be to take a shower with you." I
interrupted myself to yawn. "But then I also keep thinking about how good
it would be to just lie here. I mean, the shower will still be there in
the morning, right? Got a vote? I'm pretty sure I could go either way." 

 "Hm." I could see him consider the question. Hey, if he really wanted to
shower, I'd find the energy somewhere because no way was I going to miss
my first chance to see Fraser naked and wet. But I was heading fast toward
sleep, so I was kind of relieved when he continued, "Well, Ray, we are a
bit of a mess, but I have to say that I don't find that a compelling
reason to leave this bed." 

 "You have lived among the musk ox, after all." I tried to grin up at him,
but it turned into another yawn. 

 "That I have." And he gave me a shy little half-smile back, like he
wasn't quite sure what was supposed to happen next. 

 Well, no shower, good, but I realized I was just sort of assuming he'd
still be here with me to shower in the morning, and I sure didn't want to
wake up alone. "Look, Fraser, I've gotta tell you, I am completely wiped
out here. I'm totally crashing, but...we'll, uh, we can shower together in
the morning, yeah?" 

 "That would be perfect, Ray." 

 And then he was giving me a real smile again, and I had to lean up to
kiss him. It was so natural that I could hardly believe we hadn't always
been the naked kind of partners. 

 Fraser rolled off me then, and he tucked his arm under his head next to
mine on the pillow. God, I was so relaxed I felt like I was going to just
melt right into the mattress. I managed to turn over, and I wriggled back
into him until he was curled tightly around me. I grabbed his left hand
and brought it around to hold it against my chest. Oh yeah, that was
comfortable. I could feel myself drifting off when Fraser nuzzled the back
of my head and kissed my neck. I was floating in that almost-asleep place,
all warm and cozy, so I couldn't do much more than squeeze his hand and
make a little humming noise. 

 I was just about out when his voice jolted me awake again. "Ray?" 

 "Mmm...?" I tried to answer. I felt him lift his head up from the pillow.


 "What...you said...Major Tom?" His voiced sounded kind of slurred, like
maybe he wasn't totally awake himself. 

 Major Tom. I had to smile--that must have been bugging him for hours--but
he sounded just as sleepy as me, so that particular mystery could get
solved later. My own voice came out kind of blurry when I replied, "Frase,
you even awake? Go to sleep." 

 I felt him shift and snuggle closer, and I let myself relax into his
warmth, then his head came off the pillow another time. "Ray?" 

 I was jerked back into alertness again. Jesus, Fraser had to be just as
wiped as me. I figured this must be Fraser's mental shutdown process I was
witnessing here. Clear all the day's old business off the agenda, so he
could start fresh tomorrow or something. Yeah, well, I wished I could
help, but my mental shutdown process after sex with my partner was real
simple: come your brains out, get tired, go to sleep, unfinished business
can wait until morning. So all I gave Fraser was a little grunt and a
muttered, "Sleep...'kay?" 

 "I know...but...ah, what was I...going around...something about
blocks...." 

 Okay, now I knew he was halfway asleep, too. Poor guy, his freaky brain
probably did this to him all the time. Well, whatever it was stuck on now
would just have to wait. I sighed, squeezed his hand again, and mustered
up enough focus and energy to say clearly, "Fraser! Go. To. Sleep." 

 "Yeah...sorry...what was I?...sorry...." His voice was almost incoherent,
and I felt him relax around me, his breathing going even almost
immediately. Good. Just needed me to take charge a little again. Hey, if
he could keep me from panicking on a sinking ship or freaking out in the
middle of sex, I could help him turn his brain off and go to sleep. I
lifted our hands up to my mouth and pressed a kiss against his knuckles,
and I felt his hot breath on the back of my neck for a moment as he
sighed. Wow. Yeah, Fraser and me were going to be mind-blowing, I could
feel it. But it was still us. And as the rhythm of my breathing matched up
with the rhythm of his, and I felt myself finally, finally sliding into
sleep, that was the thought I took with me. Thank God for us. 

End "Us": in Four Movements, for Two Voices by Aral Griffen: aral@juno.com

Author and story notes above.