The Memory	    The Memory

 by Linda

  

 Author's website: http://www.1freespace.com/linda1

 Disclaimer: Due South and all of its characters belong to Alliance
Communications

 Author's Notes: For Mary Ann to stop her nagging me!

 Story Notes: A sort of a Ray as a boy story. Rummaging through childhood
memories are always good for you after a hard day.

 This story is a sequel to: The Birthday 

 

 It had been a tough day, but the good guys had finally won. Even though
he was tired, he had been determined to find the photograph. It had taken
a while to find the box buried at the back of the closet, but he had
finally managed it with much cursing and swearing when a hockey stick fell
out hitting him hard in the face. Now sporting a black eye Ray sat cross
legged on the floor of his apartment, the open box in front of him. 

 He rummaged through his childhood memories. His favourite teddy bear came
out first, and Ray set him carefully on the floor next to him. The
battered bear with one eye had been his constant companion when he had
been a boy so it seemed fitting that he should be by his side as he
searched through the box exploring happy childhood memories. 

 "Hey look," he said to his bear as he carefully unwrapped some red tissue
paper to reveal a bright red steam engine. "I am unhinged," he groaned to
himself. "I am showing a teddy bear a toy engine." 

 Laughing to himself, Ray stroked his fingers along the body of the engine
- some of the red paint had pealed off, but it was still the same precious
engine that his father had given him on his twelfth birthday, the one he
had spent his Saturday afternoons watching in a toy store window while his
father drunk espresso. He touched his fingers to the name plate. "Pride of
Chicago," he murmured as he laid the engine to one side. He decided that
he was going to set up the track later and wallow in the memories of the
time spent with his older brother playing with the train set. 

 Ray rummaged in the box again studying each item indulging himself with
the memories they evoked - a headlight from his favourite bicycle; some
favourite toy cars; a jigsaw puzzle with one piece missing; a metal tin
which he had saved his pocket money in; an old class project which he had
gotten a B for - his best ever mark; several report cards - some good,
some not so good; a few childrens' story books - his favourites; some
scary comics and a pile of old birthday cards. He flicked through each of
the books and comics recalling how he had read them in bed at night by
torch light under his comforter until his mother had come in and told him
to go to sleep. Ray laughed to himself - he never did work out how his
mother knew that he was still awake. 

 Digging into the box again, Ray found the photographs he had been looking
for. Leaning his back against the couch, he skimmed through each of
photographs smiling at the forgotten memories. "Hey," he showed his bear a
favourite - his brother and him standing on either side of a large snowman
that they had built together while his parents had been visiting a sick
aunt. "Gonna put that in a frame," Ray decided laying the photograph to
one side. "And you are talking to the bear again," he chastised himself
with a small giggle. 

 Ray turned back to the photographs staring at the one in his hand losing
himself once again in his past. The picture showed him and his father
standing by the GTO grinning at the camera, arms around each other. His
mother had taken the photograph the day after they had finished painting
it. He had been fourteen, and he and his father had spent two years
restoring the car, happy and content in each other's company. Ray's
thoughts turned to his father - Damien Kowalski had been the best Dad in
the world always making the effort to spend time with both his sons. He
had been Ray's hero for as long as he could remember, but all that had
changed when he had dropped out of college to join the police academy.
They had argued bitterly, wounding each other with cruel and hurtful
words, and they hadn't spoken since. 

 "Eight years," Ray choked as a feeling of sadness threatened to overwhelm
him. He loved his father so much - he was still his hero - but the silence
between them hurt, and he didn't know how to put it right. He found
himself clutching at his bear, just as he had when he had been a boy and
upset. "Stupid jerk," he swiped at the tears that threatened. 

 Ray kept his bear on his lap as he sorted through the other photographs
until he found the one he had been looking for. Slightly bent at the
corners, the picture showed two young boys standing side by side, one
skinny and blonde, one sturdy and dark haired - both smiling widely as his
mother took their picture with her new instant camera. "Oh yeah," he
smiled to himself remembering the day at the zoo, and the serious boy he
had befriended for an afternoon. Leaning back against the couch again, Ray
let his mind drift back to the sunny afternoon.  

 Twelve year old Stanley Kowalski stared in awe at the black rhino
wondering if the animal was hot in all that armour. He felt hot, and he
was only dressed in shorts and a Mickey Mouse tee-shirt. "Wow," Ray
breathed as the animal moved around its paddock grazing, its armour
swinging slowly as it moved. 

 Ray grinned to himself as he looked down at his guide book trying to
decide which exhibit to visit next. His mother and father had brought him
to the zoo for a treat allowing him to explore on his own while they
relaxed soaking up the sun near to the Roosevelt Fountain. 

 "Pitter patter," Ray mimicked his father's favourite saying as he finally
decided his next move. He shrugged his backpack over one shoulder."Amur
tigers next." Still engrossed in the guide book reading about the tigers,
Ray didn't see the tree root until he was sprawled across the pathway, the
wind knocked out of him. He lay for a minute trying to get his breath
back. With a huge sigh, wincing at the effort and the stinging in his
knees, Ray rolled himself into a sitting position. He bit at his lip as he
inspected his latest injuries - two scraped and reddening knees, slightly
grazed palms and a skinned elbow. "Way to go," he muttered to himself as
he tried to find his handkerchief in his backpack. 

 "Hello," a voice from above said. "Can I be of some assistance?" 

 Ray squinted up at the owner of the voice. A dark haired serious looking
boy stood over him, his expression one of concern. Dressed in navy blue
shorts and a yellow tee-shirt, the boy looked about his age although
slightly taller, Ray guessed. "I'm OK," Ray smiled up at the boy. "Just
can't .... you know find my handkerchief," Ray waved at the backpack with
a grin. 

 "I have a first aid kit," the boy offered crouching by Ray. "And I know
what to do." 

 "You do?" Ray asked doubtfully. "Did you learn at boy scouts?" 

 "No. But I know what to do," the boy replied confidently. "My grandmother
taught me basic first aid. She said it was important because of where we
live." 

 "That is so cool," Ray grinned. "My gran only tried to teach me
knitting," he pulled a face at the thought. 

 "My grandmother did too, but gave up when I kept dropping stitches," the
boy laughed. 

 "Wish mine had taught me first aid," Ray said wistfully. 

 The boy smiled at Ray as he lay his backpack on the ground. "What
happened?" he asked as he took out a small first aid kit opening it. 

 "Oh you know," Ray murmured dismissively. "Reading all about tigers, and
didn't see the tree root," he pointed at the offending root. "Tripped
over. My Mum always says that I'm too clumsy for my own good." Ray frowned
as a look of sadness flashed across the boy's face, and he wondered why.
"My name's Stanley Raymond Kowalski," he stuck a bloodied hand out. "But I
go by Ray." 

 "Pleased to meet you Ray," the boy took his hand shaking it warmly. "My
name is Benton Fraser. But I go by Ben." They grinned at each other. "This
might hurt a bit," Ben explained as he dabbed at Ray's knee. 

 "You're right," Ray bit his lip. "It does sorta hurt.... a bit," he tried
to grin at Ben, but it came out as a grimace. 

 "Sorry," Ben frowned. "I'll be as quick as I can," he turned back to his
task, quickly cleaning and bandaging Ray's knees and elbow. 

 To distract himself from the stinging in his knees and elbow, Ray chatted
to Ben asking him all sorts of questions. He found out that Ben was
thirteen and a half, an only child, and that he came from Canada. Ben
explained that he and his grandparents were in Chicago on vacation, and
that they had dropped him off at the zoo while they attended an afternoon
conference in the city. Ben answered all Ray's rapid-fire one after
another questions politely with an amused smile. He had never met someone
who could talk and change subjects so fast. He decided that he liked Ray.
Ben jumped in, when Ray paused to draw breath, to ask Ray questions about
himself and his family. 

 He smiled as Ray answered all of his questions with noisy enthusiasm, his
voice full of pride as he talked about his family. Ben couldn't help
feeling a little bit jealous, but he put it to the back of his mind
smiling down at Ray as he related how he and his brother had built a large
snowman for their parents. 

 "There," Ben sat back on his heels as the last bandage was applied to a
bony knee. "All done." 

 "Hey thanks," Ray smiled looking at Ben's neat handiwork. "You do it even
better than my Mum. And she's had loads of practice with me," he grinned. 

 "Thank you kindly," Ben replied with a smile as he packed away his first
aid kit. 

 "Say," Ray looked up at Ben. "Do you wanna come and see the tigers with
me? Then my Mum has this great picnic back at the fountain. And I know she
won't mind if you come and share. If you wanna that is," he looked
hopefully at his new friend. 

 Ben smiled back. "I would really like that," he straightened up offering
Ray his hand. With a grin, Ray took the hand and Ben hauled him to his
feet. 

 "So tell me again," Ray asked as they walked side by side - Ray limping
slightly - towards the tiger exhibit. "What part of Canada did you say you
came from.... northwest areas or something," he glanced sideways at his
new friend.  

 Ray dragged himself back to the present. Smiling to himself he looked
down at the photograph again - the small happy carefree faces smiled back
at him. Ray could almost hear the echoes of their happy laughter as they
raced from exhibit to exhibit pointing out animals to each other. Tired
and hungry, they had finally returned to his Mum and Dad where they had
tucked into the huge picnic his mother had prepared. His mother had then
insisted on taking their picture with her new instant camera - she had
taken two photographs giving one to Ben as a remembrance of his afternoon
at Lincoln Park Zoo. Ray remembered feeling sad as they said their
goodbyes at the end of their day knowing that they would never meet again.


 Ray had long forgotten all about that warm, sunny afternoon at the zoo
until fate had stepped in and the young boy, now grown into a man, had
walked into the squad room looking for his partner Ray Vecchio. Instead he
had been met by Ray Kowalski pretending to be Ray Vecchio. 

 Ray had felt a stab of disappointment that Fraser hadn't recognised him.
He had recognised Fraser immediately, remembering the boy who had told him
he was going to be a Mountie like his father when he grew up. Even today
in the crypt, when he had introduced himself, Ray had thought Fraser would
remember him - Stanley Raymond Kowalski wasn't your everyday sort of name.
But no, Fraser had said nothing, shown no real sign of recognition. 

 Ray had hoped that telling Fraser his real name would jog a memory, and
for a split second he thought it had, but then the moment had gone and
Fraser had just carried on trying to persuade him to leave the crypt.
"Probably too busy worrying about the real Ray Vecchio to remember a
stupid afternoon at the zoo with a skinny kid who fell over his own feet,"
Ray thought to himself suddenly angry, ignoring the fact that Fraser had
told him that he was proud to be his partner and friend. 

 His angry thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on the door. "Coming.
I'm coming," he yelled as he got to his feet setting his bear on the floor
again. He yanked the door open scowling slightly. 

 "Good evening Ray," Fraser smiled. "Diefenbaker and I thought we would
bring pizza," he held up a box. "Is it inconvenient?" he frowned at Ray's
expression and the black eye. 

 "No. No," Ray answered feeling suddenly guilty. "Come in," he beckoned
Fraser and Diefenbaker into the apartment. "Make yourselves at home," he
reached down ruffling Diefenbaker's furry head. 

 "What happened to your eye?" Fraser asked as he set the pizza box down on
the kitchen counter. 

 "Gonna offer me first aid?" Ray couldn't help smiling at the memory. 

 "Well I do happen to have some ointment which might help," Fraser reached
into his jacket pocket. 

 "No, I'm fine," Ray waved his hand in the air. "Just had a fight with a
hockey stick. And the hockey stick won," he grinned. 

 "Ahhh, I see," Fraser nodded. 

 Ray turned to see Diefenbaker sniffing at his bear curiously. "Hey Dief,"
he ruffled the wolf's furry head. "You leave Bear alone. OK?" Ray picked
his bear up sitting him on the couch. Diefenbaker barked as he licked at
Ray's hand. 

 "A new partner?" Fraser nodded towards the bear. 

 "No," Ray grinned. "An old friend." 

 "Ahhh I see," Fraser repeated as he looked around the cluttered room.
"And the other stuff?" he indicated the box. 

 "Old memories," Ray grinned again. 

 Fraser nodded again smiling back at Ray. "Perhaps you would like to see
if you have the pair for this," he handed Ray a photograph that he took
from his jacket pocket. 

 Ray looked down at the photograph, his mouth dropping open. He looked
back up to a smiling Fraser. "You remembered?" he said. 

 "I have never forgotten that afternoon at the zoo," Fraser explained. "It
was fun. And I didn't have much fun during my childhood. But I always
remembered the boy who talked a mile a minute," he grinned at Ray. "The
one who let me share his afternoon at the zoo." He sat on the couch
fingering the bear. "I have to admit that I wasn't entirely sure it was
you until you told me your real name this afternoon in the crypt," he
glanced sideways at Ray. "I nearly said something then, but I didn't think
it was appropriate under the circumstance. So I thought I'd wait," he
smiled at Ray. "I never thought we would meet again." 

 "Me neither," Ray joined Fraser on the couch. They sat in silence for a
moment. "Hey," Ray jumped up. "I was just thinking of setting up my train
set. Me and my brother spent hours playing with the train. Do you wanna
help me?" Ray asked shyly as he dropped to the floor rummaging in the box
again retrieving train track from the depths. "Then we can eat the pizza
you brought with you." Diefenbaker yipped in agreement as he flopped on
the floor next to Ray. "OK. OK. You get some too," he patted Diefenbaker's
head. "What do you think?" he asked Fraser. 

 "I think it's an excellent idea," Fraser nodded eagerly. "I never had a
train set when I was young." He joined Ray and Diefenbaker on the floor,
and started carefully to join the pieces together. 

 "I just had another great idea," Ray looked up from setting up the
tunnel. "We could go to the zoo this weekend. Relive some memories. What
do you think?" he asked, his voice and expression hopeful. 

 "Another wonderful idea," Fraser beamed happily. 

 "Greatness," Ray said as he picked up his treasured steam engine. 

 "Should we take your old friend?" Fraser teased waggling the bear at Ray.


 "Fraser," Ray threatened with a grin. 

 "Understood." 

 THE END 

 Views to: linda18@ntlworld.com 

End The Memory by Linda: linda18@ntlworld.com

Author and story notes above.