You Let Me Complicate You	   You Let Me Complicate You

 by Snowee

  

 Author's website: http://snowee.50megs.com

 Disclaimer: They belong to Alliance. I'm just playing around.

 Author's Notes: This one needs the background from the previous fics in
the series.

 Story Notes: If you try too hard, you'll just end up hurting yourself.

 This story is a sequel to: Like An Animal 

 

 ******Part 1
 "Happy Anniversary," said the dark haired man to his bedmate. "How was
that for an anniversary gift?" he asked. 

 The blonde sat up and pulled the blanket over his cold legs. "It's really
been 10 years, huh?" he asked, looking at the symbolic embossed silver
band on his left ring finger. 

 Nodding, Benton smiled. "It's a long time." 

 Ray nodded. "Yeah. A very long time." He paused. "It's hard to believe
all the things that have happened in the past 16 years." 

 "Such as?" 

 "Well, everything. We moved, for one." 

 "Twice," Fraser pointed out. "Three for me if you count my moving in with
you." 

 "Right, and then all the working, me changing jobs..." 

 "And going to college," Fraser amended. 

 Ray chuckled. "Sure. Thought I'd avoid that place like the plague the
rest of my life, but we can't forget that detail, can we?" 

 "No, Professor Kowalski, we can't," Fraser mused. 

 Ray shook his head. "Don't call me that. It sounds like I'm the
establishment." 

 Fraser cocked his head. "Well, you are." 

 "Criminology, Fraze. It's not like I had to work real hard." 

 Fraser frowned. "You worked very hard," he stated firmly. 

 Ray shrugged. "So I had nothing better to do after getting shot and
forced to retire." 

 Fraser nodded. "Also, finally making my way to officer despite all the
things against me was a nice way to gain leadership of the Consulate so we
could stay in Chicago." 

 "I told you I'd move to Canada," Ray said softly. 

 Shrugging, Fraser got out of bed and picked up some clothes. "As nice as
it would have been, you would have hated it there." 

 "You've adjusted nicely to the city life. Only took you 15 years. Maybe I
could have..." 

 "You have difficulty adjusting to the cabin and I only ask you to go
there for two weeks every other year." 

 Ray smiled sheepishly. "There's nothing to do up there." 

 "Of course not," Fraser retorted. "There's nothing to do except one
thing. Why do you think I always choose the cabin when it's my turn?" 

 Ray raised his eyebrows. Nothing to do except keep each other warm, now
why did he argue? He forgot a moment as his mind wandered. 

 Fraser chuckled. "Well, despite this day's special nature, I still have
to work." 

 Ray nodded. "Yeah and I've got a class to teach." 

 "It's too bad we can't spend the day together." 

 "Yeah, but that was a nice gift and I'll let you give it to me again
tonight," Ray said with a wink. 

 Fraser chuckled again and headed for the shower.  Ray was watching his
students walk from the class when he caught sight of the red uniform that
always made him grin. Leaning on the podium, he watched the Mountie push
through the mass of students until he got to the front of the room. 

 "Hey, Fraze," Ray greeted. 

 Fraser smiled. "Hello." 

 "What brings you here?" 

 "Ah, I received a certified letter today. It's addressed to us both." 

 "Us?" He frowned. All this time and the generally accepted nature of
their relationship didn't mean they were classified as a couple often.
Officially, they were still regarded as friends maintaining separate lives
in mail and on official forms. 

 Fraser began to tear the envelope, but Ray put his hand over Fraser's,
stopping him. "Wait. Let's open it later, ok? I have a feeling it's not
something we want to deal with right now." 

 "All right," Fraser agreed. "I'll meet you at home, then." 

 Ray nodded.  "Dammit," Ray said under his breath. 

 Fraser looked suddenly concerned and leaned over the counter. "Ray?
What's the matter?" 

 Ray shook his head before he met Fraser's gaze. "Kiana. When you don't
deal with something, it comes back to bite you in the ass, have you
noticed that?" 

 "I'm not sure I understand what you mean," Fraser stated. 

 Letting out a breath, Ray turned and took out a beer. He had it open and
the first inches gone before he spoke again. "Well, it's just that she
left us without a word. Seems... seems there was a lot to say. Too much
maybe and we didn't say it. I know you felt it as much as I did, but
still, we didn't say it. After a while, it just got easier to not say
anything, to pretend it wasn't ever there." He took a tug off the beer and
looked soulfully into Benton's eyes now. "But it was and is and now that
her name is on that piece of paper, we have to deal with it all over
again. I don't want to ignore it this time, but I don't want think about
her either." 

 Fraser nodded his agreement. He felt the same way. He began to read
again, turning to the second page. 

 "So, what is it she wants? She wants to see us again?" 

 Sighing, Fraser looked at the page again and shook his head. "It's her
writing, but it came via her attorney who apparently wrote the first
page." 

 Ray furrowed his brow. "Attorney? What'd we do?" 

 Fraser turned the paper so that it was the right way up for Ray and set
it before him. "We didn't do anything wrong," he responded. "At least, I
don't believe so. She's gone. She apparently became very ill and passed
away. There will be a funeral the day after tomorrow if we want to attend
and he's notifying us that there is more information to follow." 

 "More information?" Ray said, picking up the letter and scanning it. 

 "Yes. The reason her attorney is contacting us is because she left us her
estate, Ray, and... and..." 

 It was that moment when Ray saw the word. He looked up, stunned. "A
son!?" 

 ******Part 2
 Hanging up the telephone, Ray rubbed at his temples. Letting out a long
breath, he took the notepad and stood in the doorway to the bedroom.
Fraser carefully folded clothes and set them neatly into his suitcase.
Aware of Ray's presence, he stopped and looked up, watching Ray play with
the pen still twined in his fingers. 

 "I got a flight out at 10:12 in the morning. It's their express service
so there's no layovers and then I talked to the rental car agency. We can
pick one up when we land and the guy says the drive is about an hour.
There's a convention so I had a rough time finding a room, but there was a
room at a hotel about fifteen minutes from the funeral home and the
cemetery." 

 Fraser nodded. "It sounds as though you've handled everything. Do you
want me to help you pack?" 

 Ray shook his head. "I just got my suit back from the cleaners and I'll
just throw a few things into my bag," he replied, then looked around the
room, a look of being lost on his face. 

 Raising his eyebrows, Fraser moved back to the dresser to get a few more
things. "Is something wrong?" 

 Biting his lower lip, Ray went to the closet, reached in, and produced a
large red and black gym bag. Embroidered on one end pocket were the words
Duff's Boxing and a silhouette of a boxer. He set the bag on the bed
before speaking. "What are we going to do when we get there?" he mused. 

 Fraser took in an uncertain breath. "Go to the funeral, contact this
attorney, and..." he let the sentence trail. 

 Ray knew what he was thinking. "Are we going to meet him? I mean, if we
go to the funeral we have to, don't we?" 

 "We don't have to do anything, Ray," Fraser responded softly. "That's the
point of Kiana's letter. He knows about us and he's willing to meet us, to
become a part of our lives, but they both know that this is all new to us
and we may not be interested. The attachment from the attorney specifies
that if our choice leads to not becoming his guardian, then he'll go to
Kiana's mother. He'll be cared for either way." 

 "Why would he choose us?" Ray asked suddenly. "I mean, if he really knows
everything like she says... I mean, if I heard my mother..." He physically
cringed and shook his head. "Ok, let's say I was that kid..." 

 "Adam." 

 "Yeah, Adam and Kiana was my mom, then I found out my mother was... and
that's how I was conceived?" Ray shook his head. "How anyone can even wrap
their mind around that and still come out wanting to meet us is beyond
me." 

 "It certainly isn't a typical family situation, but then there are no
typical family situations these days," Fraser remarked.  The fifty seater
jet was only barely more than half filled as it ascended into the clouds.
Ray looked out the window, watching the ground get smaller, more perfect
like an aerial model each second. Being a smaller plane, the engines were
loud and with the seats nearest them empty, Ray let out a sigh. He turned
to Fraser and smiled a little. They were above the clouds now, the puffs
stretching as far as they could see like fresh snow over hills and bushes.


 "Read it to me again," Ray said. 

 "I've read it twice now. What makes you think it will say anything
different?" Fraser asked. 

 Ray shrugged. He was glad the plane was loud. Their conversation could
remain private. "I guess I'm just having a hard time believing." 

 "My reading it to you will help?" 

 "Reading it myself didn't," Ray replied with a chuckle. "I keep hoping
hearing the words will make them sink in." He reached over and took the
envelope from Fraser, then pulled out the letter and began to read. 

 Stopping a moment later, he leaned toward Fraser. "She is right; I didn't
expect to hear from her. I mean, I wondered a few times, but I never
really expected it." 

 "Neither did I," Fraser responded, then watched Ray go back to reading. 

 Stopping again, Ray shook his head. "She didn't even tell us what was
wrong, just that she's sick. I don't get that. Why wouldn't she tell us?
If she wanted us to know about Adam, why couldn't she have called us a
month ago when she first found out? That way we'd have been able to see
her again, at least." 

 "Perhaps that's the point, Ray," Fraser responded. "She didn't want us to
see her, or at least not see her in that condition." 

 Ray nodded. "Probably." He read, then stopped again. This time he took in
a long, deep breath before speaking. "What about the DNA test?" 

 Fraser met Ray's gaze. "Do you want to have it done?" 

 Ray shrugged. 

 "I think she had a point when she said that while the test will prove
he's ours, it will also prove which of ours he is. We'll always know and
there will be no way to not know anymore." He paused, putting his hand on
Ray's knee. "Kiana was a good person. Do you really think she'd lie about
this? Do you really think she'd lay this on us 15 years later if what she
said about only having been with us in that year was a lie?" 

 "I know. Somewhere in me, I know it's the truth. I guess I keep
wondering." 

 "I'm not sure I want to do it, but if you really do, I can consider it.
Just remember that if you do, it might change everything." 

 Nodding, Ray went back to the letter. A few moments later, he folded it
and put it back in the envelope. "I never realized how much she talks like
you." 

 Fraser turned to look at him. "She talked like you. She wrote like me." 

 "You nervous about meeting him?" Ray asked. 

 Watching Ray, he pondered a moment. "I'm not sure. We still have the
choice not to." 

 Ray nodded. "But we're going to, right?" he asked. "I mean, we talked
about this. You having second thoughts?" 

 "Not exactly," Fraser breathed. 

 "What does not exactly mean?" Ray pushed, his smile now completely
abandoned for concern. 

 "When we meet him, we'll find ourselves facing a 15 year old boy raised
by a woman we hardly knew who apparently thought quite a bit of us."
Fraser took in a breath. "We never talked about her. The day she left it
was as though she hadn't existed. What will we tell him?" 

 "I think he knows his mom pretty well," Ray responded. 

 "Yes, but the point is that we do not. You said it yourself when we got
the letter. When you don't deal with something, it comes back to haunt
you." 

 "Bite you on the ass," Ray corrected. He glanced at Fraser who shrugged
off the language and chuckled. "Well, ok. So you want to deal with it
now?" 

 "It's been 15 years. It hardly seems a fresh subject now." 

 "Almost 16, but that's not the point, is it? Kiana was... was like a
tornado. She whipped in, whipped us up, and whipped out before we even had
time to decide how we felt about her." 

 "I suppose," Fraser breathed. 

 "Suppose so?" Ray asked. "You think you know how you felt about her?" 

 Fraser was quiet a moment. "Well, yes," he said at last. 

 "How?" Met by silence, Ray could sense what Fraser was thinking and
feeling. He let out a breath. "It's ok to say you liked her. I liked her
too." 

 Fraser turned his head. "I liked her." 

 "Love maybe?" Ray pushed. 

 "Was there enough time to fall in love?" Fraser asked. 

 Ray shrugged. "I don't know, but I do know I sure felt differently about
her than any friend I've ever had." Stopping, he suddenly reached out and
put his hand over the one Fraser had left on his knee. "Except you, of
course." 

 "Of course," Fraser said, smiling. "I know that I've felt we may have
lost a good influence when she left. I know you cared for her as well." 

 "I knew you cared too. I always wondered which of us cared more," Ray
admitted. "I just know that it was better for us in the end." 

 "How so?" 

 "It got me thinking about you and me. You know, we were new and we
weren't sure about anything, but don't you think it helped? Didn't you
feel like we made more sense?" Ray asked. 

 "While she was with us or after she left?" 

 Ray shrugged. "Either." 

 "I know that while she was here, it was the first time we were allowed to
be ourselves in front of someone. She accepted us completely and I'm not
sure anyone has since then," observed Fraser. 

 "Except Vecchio, but that took a few years," Ray said. "I'm not sure when
he came around, but after I got stabbed, he voluntarily came over to hang
out with us. I don't think he'd have done that the first year after he
found out about us." 

 "Precisely. It took him some time, but he seems genuinely please with our
happiness now." 

 "Maybe because he found some of his own," Ray said. 

 "Perhaps. Perhaps Stella helped to change his mind." Fraser straightened.
"She was surprisingly supportive of this relationship," he commented. 

 Ray chuckled. "I always said she was the smart one," he said, then became
a little more serious. "I don't know. Either way, we got the strange looks
from her at first, just like everyone. Kiana never gave us a strange look,
did she?" 

 "Not that I was aware of, no," Fraser confirmed. Silence settled before
Fraser shifted in his seat. 

 Ray decided to break the silence. "She was nice, you know? Smart too and
she liked to have fun. I remember I liked that. What about you? What did
you like?" 

 "She enjoyed learning things," Fraser agreed. "I believe I liked
exchanging information and doing things with her." 

 Ray started to laugh. "Remember hockey? I nearly fell out of my chair
laughing with all those body checks," he spat out through guffaws. 

 Fraser smiled. "I remember the bruises," he responded. "As much as I
enjoyed playing hockey with her, I enjoy it more with you because you
learned the game for my benefit." 

 Ray grinned. "Lots to remember. We packed a lot in those few weeks, huh?"


 "Yes, we certainly did," Fraser remarked. 

 "The pictures. That was a fun night. It's really too bad they didn't turn
out," Ray said. 

 Fraser nodded, but he'd always been skeptical about her excuse. He
couldn't imagine why they hadn't turned out, but tried not to question.
Both moved into their own thoughts as the plane moved higher above the
cloud cover. 

 "Huh," Ray grunted after several minutes. 

 "What?" 

 "You moved into my apartment the night we met her, didn't you?" 

 "Yes," Fraser confirmed. "Is that important?" 

 "Nope. Just interesting. Means we managed to impregnate a woman within a
month of moving in together." He looked vaguely amused. "Funny, isn't it?
You think you're being safe, then wham! Bam! Of course, not knowing until
now isn't the way I ever wanted to find out a condom failed." 

 Fraser took in an audible breath. 

 "How different do you think things would have been if Kiana had called us
two months later and said 'Hey, guess what? I'm pregnant.'" Ray mused. "Or
even if she called us a year later and told us she had a baby boy. What do
you think we'd have done?" 

 "We are in a very different place now than we were then," Fraser pointed
out. "It was over a year after that before Ray learned about us - that
night they all found out. Keep in mind it was another 4 years before we
were open about this and one more before we went through with..." He
tapped the ring on his ring finger, the gold embossed ring glinting. "Even
now, there's nothing official." 

 "Yeah," Ray breathed. "And that year after Ray found out was pretty hard
for both of us." 

 Fraser smiled. "You were very patient. I didn't expect that." 

 Ray squeezed Fraser's hand. "You know I'd have done anything for you." 

 "Your patience was sufficient," Fraser responded. "Well, I think knowing
that we had fathered a child might have made things extremely different
for us, but that's all the past now. It's impossible to speculate
accurately. I think knowing about him at all is... I hope it proves to be
a blessing." 

 "I hope so too," Ray added quietly. 

 ******Part 3
 Fraser moved the garment bag to the area where a bar hung to signify a
closet. Looking around the hotel room, he assessed the contents and
watched Ray pick up the phone. Dialing a number, Ray sat on the bed and
tossed the papers aside. 

 "Mr. Kochevar," he said, then waited. Fraser moved around the room.
Moving Ray's bag from the chair in the corner, he set it on the floor
before sinking into the pleather seat. "Hi. This is Ray Kowalski. You sent
us a - right. That's us. - Yes, he is." The next pause lasted for a few
seconds as Ray took in a deep breath. "To be honest, I'm not sure. We flew
all this way so I want to say yes, but - Right, exactly," Ray started to
rub his temple. "Uh, let me get a piece of paper and pen," he said and
snapped his fingers several times impatiently at Fraser. Moving across the
room, Benton got into his own suitcase and returned to hand Ray his date
book and a pen, not letting on his annoyance at Ray's assumptive action.
"Yeah, time? - place? - Yes, but being from Chicago, we'll need specific
directions." 

 Fraser watched Ray writing notes. As he finished, he nodded at the phone.
"Thanks - uh, yes it is and we're in room 414. - Yeah, thanks. Bye," he
said and hung up. Turning to face Benton, he closed the date book and held
it out for Fraser to take. "The attorney's a nice guy," he observed. "The
funeral starts at noon. Graveside service is at one and we can meet the
attorney outside the funeral home or he said he'll wait by a navy blue
Lexus at the cemetery." 

 "Is that what you're not sure about?" Fraser inquired. 

 "Huh?" 

 "You said you weren't sure, but we flew all this way." 

 Ray smiled sheepishly. "Just making it so we can back out at any moment."
He paused. "You'll tell me if you want to back out, right?" 

 Fraser nodded. "As I'm assuming you will do." 

 "Yeah," he stared at Fraser. "I'm not even sure why I'm asking." 

 Fraser stood and moved to the bed. "Well, if it's the reason I think,
it's because you're nervous. I'm nervous too." He put his hand on Ray's
knee. "We're not meeting a toddler that doesn't understand things like
fathers, who is still learning about the world. We'll basically be meeting
a young man who knows more about his mother than we do." 

 "Yeah," Ray breathed. "That's it exactly." 

 "She claims he wants to meet us and that he understands," Fraser reminded
him. 

 Ray nodded. "I know. Attorney said he really does want to meet us, but he
doesn't want to pressure us." 

 "I suppose he realizes that this is new to us, that it might take some
getting used to," Fraser reasoned. 

 Ray chuckled and looked at Benton. "If he deduced that, then he's your
son," he joked. 

 Fraser smiled, putting his hand along Ray's jaw and kissing him. "Our
son. I'm beginning to enjoy the sound of that," he commented, then kissed
Ray again. 

 Turning his torso, Ray put an arm around Fraser and kissed back. Pushing
his tongue into Fraser's mouth, he licked at the teeth and held him firmly
as he licked the tongue. Fraser adjusted his arms to surround Ray as he
felt Ray's hands slide around to his front and begin to undo the buttons
on his shirt. Assisting from the bottom as Ray started at the top, they
met in the middle and worked together to discard it. Immediately, Ray
tugged at Fraser's undershirt, pulling it from his waistband as Fraser
hungrily pulled Ray's shirt off. 

 Soon, both had bare chests and as Ray rubbed Fraser's while kissing him,
Fraser's hands moved to Ray's pants. His nimble fingers had them
unfastened in no time. Pushing Ray back onto the bed, Fraser grabbed the
waistband and took off the pants, taking his boxer briefs with them.
Fraser then knelt beside Ray while Ray watched Fraser undo his pants and
strip. He laid over Ray and brushed his tongue over Ray's chin before
delving his tongue into that mouth. 

 Tasting furiously, Ray held Fraser and let his lips caress the ones that
were suckling his. Beginning to feel raw, Ray moved his lips from Fraser's
rough actions and nibbled his jaw. Fraser shifted, feeling his erection
grow as he moved to suck Ray's shoulder. Ray leaned in and sucked on
Fraser's ear, bringing his fingers up to rub the back of his neck. 

 All at once, a phone began to ring. Ignoring it at first, Ray and Fraser
moved their lips together, Ray biting Fraser's lower lip until Fraser
pulled away. "One of us had better answer it," he said. 

 "No," Ray responded, grabbing Fraser's head and holding him in a long
kiss as he pushed him back and rolled on top of him. 

 Fraser wrapped his fingers around Ray's upper arms and pushed him back.
"It could be important," he said, climbing out from under Ray and moving
across the room. 

 "Inspector Fraser," he said into the phone. Ray smiled. He had been a
Constable for what felt like an eternity before making his way up the
ranks. Would he ever get used to hearing the man call himself Inspector?
"Yes, Turnbull. Monday morning. I will return his call then." Fraser hung
up and turned to Ray. 

 "Dire, huh?" Ray asked, then reached out and took the phone from Fraser.
Handing it over, Fraser assumed Ray was going to make a phone call, but
instead he turned it off, then leaned over the edge of the bed and slid it
on the floor beneath it. 

 Sitting up again, he smiled as Fraser looked a bit surprised. He reached
out his hand. "No more interruptions," he said firmly. As soon as Fraser's
hand touched his, he jerked him to the bed and moved over him. He kissed
away any arguments Fraser may have had and once he was sure there would be
none, he grabbed Fraser's sides and massaged them while he lay his tongue
along his collarbone. Firmly, he pressed the wet surface into the skin,
moving nearly to the shoulder before trailing back down over the rounded
pectoral muscle. 

 Fraser felt a suckling on his chest, a bit of teeth and tongue awakening
every nerve ending over his chest. A forceful suck just above his nipple
was followed by a bite on the browner skin. He enjoyed the sensation as
another was placed right below his nipple. 

 Sliding his tongue into the dip between muscles, Ray bit a piece of flesh
over the sternum with tongue and teeth. He shifted slightly down and
explored the skin rippling lightly over Fraser's ribcage. Fraser's
breathing became deeper while Ray moved his hands down his sides and
rubbed Fraser's hips. Ray's teeth crossed his body, stopping every inch on
the way for a taste. 

 Anticipating, Fraser was hard and swelling, his body in ecstasy. He could
feel Ray's erection against him, but Ray was ignoring it completely, still
working to lick over the entire abdomen, biting occasionally. Finally he
worked his way to the navel, running his tongue around it a few times
before biting the skin around it. 

 Letting out a loud breath, Ray responded by slipping his hands around
Fraser and cupping his ass as he explored the skin below the navel, but
well above the groin. He sensed Fraser was going nuts by his stalling, but
that excited him even more. 

 Feeling his cock anxious for contact, Fraser imagined Ray's lips finally
reaching it, but as he licked and sucked the lower abdomen, his hands
moved to his inner thighs and began to massage. An instant later, he moved
away, knowing he'd sufficiently teased his mountee. 

 Fraser thought he was going to burst with the anxiety Ray was pushing him
toward. Staring at him a moment, he saw that Ray was observing him,
studying him as though he didn't already know everything about him. When
Ray bit on his lower lip to stifle a smile, Fraser shifted his head away
slightly. "Is something wrong?" 

 "I'm just fascinated by you," Ray whispered, then threw his leg over
Fraser's abdomen. Shifting back, he took Fraser's erection in his hand and
held it. Leaning back, he positioned his hole over the tip and slowly slid
onto it. Smiling as he and Fraser both let out a moan, they shifted
together. Fraser pumped his hips as Ray rested his hand on Fraser's thigh.


 Ray's weight brought him further over the shaft, the penetration
deepening with movement. His muscles accepted the cock in him and as he
moved, Ray's breathing increased. 

 Shifting slightly, Fraser brought his hand to Ray's thigh and held him as
he thrust up into the body on him. Ray's cock pulsated sweetly before him.
Moving slightly, Fraser watched it a moment, then leaned his head back
when he began to feel the telltale warmth and tension in his body.
Squeezing his eyes shut, he heard Ray's moans getting louder. A moment
later, Ray grunted and Fraser felt the cum warm on his chest. Taking in a
deep breath, he prepared for his own release, keeping the movement going
another moment until he convulsed against Ray. Dropping back, he pumped
the last of his semen from his body, pushing it into Ray as Ray groaned
softly. 

 Ray lingered for several moments after both stopped moving. Finally, he
moved off Fraser's genitals and fell beside him. Leaning close, he kissed
Fraser hard. Moving his lips across Fraser's jaw, he nibbled the ear. 

 "I love you," Fraser said smoothly. 

 Ray moved to look into his eyes. "God, I love you too," he breathed, then
began to kiss his lips again until Fraser regained control of his muscles,
wrapping his arm around Ray and pushing him back on the bed, continuing
the kiss. 

 Limply, Ray moved only his mouth in the kiss, his heart still racing from
the previous movement, still breathless. Fraser moved to his knees over
Ray and thrust his tongue into Ray's mouth unexpectedly. Moaning softly,
Ray took Fraser's hand and clasped it. A moment later, he loosened his
grip to play with Fraser's ring. 

 Still exploring with his mouth, Fraser brushed his hand along Ray's
abdomen until he reached his limp cock. Running his hand under it, he
massaged the area and felt Ray getting hard again. Sucking the skin under
Ray's chin, he heard Ray let out a breathless moan. "Oh, God, Fraze.
You're going to make me..." 

 "Shhh," Fraser stopped nibbling long enough to hiss. Planting his lips
onto Ray's chest, he sucked for several seconds while taking Ray's
erection into his hand and slowly pumping. He was still kissing Ray when
he heard Ray gasp. At that, he moved his lips over Ray's and sucked the
lower lip while Ray fought moaning, his cum spilling onto them both while
he was silenced by Fraser's kisses. Once the spasms of his cock finally
subsided, Fraser moved back and looked at Ray. 

 Ray gasped as soon as the lips moved away, panting a moment for breath.
Running his hand over the sore spot on his chest, he followed it by
putting his arm over Fraser. "You've gotten good at hickey's," he
commented, amused. 

 Fraser leaned over and looked at the deep purple spot. "It would seem
so," he replied. Smiling broadly, he pecked Ray's forehead, then watched
as Ray took his left hand in his own left hand. Turning them back and
forth, Ray was examining both rings. "You still look at them as though
they are new." 

 "I like knowing you're mine and I'm yours," Ray replied. "I just like to
be reminded that you cared enough to want me." 

 Fraser rolled to his side. "I care more than enough, you know that, don't
you?" 

 Ray grinned and nodded. "I think you're as nuts as everyone thinks," he
commented, then let go of the grasp he had on Fraser's hand to put his arm
over him. "You have to be to put up with me all these years." 

 Fraser raised his eyebrows. "You put up with me." 

 Ray chuckled. "Hardly. How many times did I go off on you for telling
Inuit tales or being stubborn when you thought you were so right on a
case?" 

 "Several." 

 "Exactly." 

 "But it never interfered with our relationship," Fraser rationalized. 

 Ray nodded. "Guess you're right. I also guess I got used to it because I
stopped bitching about it, didn't I?" he asked rhetorically, then
shrugged. "Well, anyway, it's nice knowing we're committed to each other
rather than a nuthouse." 

 Fraser chuckled and gave Ray another kiss.  Ray was still deep asleep as
he sensed the body writhing against him. He had to force himself to wake
while the body continued to move, the arm that had been over him moving
away, then wrapping tightly around him. Ray's head was still grasping to
sleep when he opened his eyes into the darkness, disoriented. Where was
he? What was twisting on the bed and bumping against him? Consciousness
finally pushed unconsciousness aside and he felt the arm go around him
again. Fraser. Another nightmare. Moving to grab Fraser's arm, he barely
had his hand on the wrist when fingernails clawed into his chest. 

 Now fully aware, Ray yanked the hand away, letting out a yelp before
rolling to his back and touching Fraser's chest, rocking him slightly.
"Wake up," he said, then pushed again, repeating it louder. 

 Fraser jumped fiercely, his eyes bursting open. The curtains on the
windows let in a sliver of light which glistened off Fraser's eyes. "You
awake?" Ray asked. 

 "Yes," Fraser answered in a meek whisper. 

 "You ok?" 

 Clearing his throat, Fraser ran his hand over his sweaty brow and nodded.
"Yes," he responded. 

 "Nightmare?" 

 "Yes," Fraser said again simply. 

 Ray let out a tiny breath. "About - that night?" 

 Fraser was still a moment, then he moved to fluff his pillow before
responding. "Yes," he admitted at last. 

 Ray sighed. "You haven't had one of those for a while," he observed. 

 "No," Fraser said and cleared his throat again. 

 Waiting, Ray felt Fraser shifting in the bed, trying to get comfortable,
but knowing that he wouldn't. Rolling to his side, he ran his hand over
Fraser's chest. "I'll hold you for a while," he said quietly. 

 Fraser blinked, then rolled to his side, waiting as Ray moved up behind
him and put a warm arm around him. Giving Fraser a small hug before
adjusting his own pillow, Ray got comfortable. 

 "Thank you," Fraser whispered. Stiff for a few moments, he thought about
the arm around him and the present day. Forcefully and consciously, he
pushed aside the past; the night he'd been kidnapped, raped, and nearly
killed, then tried to relax again. It was a task that always proved
challenging. 

 ******Part 4
 Ray wore a classic cut conservative charcoal pinstripe suit and as he sat
on the bed pulling on white socks, Fraser furrowed his brow. Wearing
uniform dress pants and a white shirt under black suspenders, Fraser
reached back into the garment back. "White socks?" he asked. 

 "No one's going to see them," Ray commented. 

 Fraser turned to see Ray pulling on his ragged black boots. Shaking his
head, he took out the red formal jacket and started to put it on. *'Just
what will it take to get him to buy a pair of dress shoes?'* 

 Ray glanced at Fraser. *'Oh good. The red serge. He's not going to stand
out at a funeral,'* he mused. *'He's a target. At least the kid won't miss
him.'* Standing, he watched Fraser buttoning the tunic. "Do you think
Kiana showed him that magazine so he knows what you look like?" 

 Fraser raised his eyebrows. "That's a good question," he responded. 

 "So long as he recognizes one of us," Ray said under his breath. He
looked at his watch. "We need to get going if we're going to make it." 

 Fraser nodded and put on his navy blue coat, covering most of the red,
but for the purpose of keeping warm. Ray had only the leather trench coat
Fraser bought him for his last birthday and over the suit, he looked a
little less like he was going to a funeral than intended. 

 "Yes, it's time," Fraser commented. 

 Ray took in a deep breath, then looked at Benton. "You ok?" 

 "Yes," he replied. 

 "Are you sure?" Ray pushed. 

 Fraser looked confused. "Why do you ask?" 

 "It's just that - well, it's a big day and last night you..." 

 "Oh," Fraser interrupted. "I'm certain it's just the tension of the
situation. Everything is fine," he assured his partner. 

 Ray accepted and nodded. "No second thoughts?" 

 Fraser shook his head and opened the hotel door. Moving down the hall,
they waited for the elevator. Finding themselves in it alone, Ray winked
at Fraser. "Love in an elevator..." he sang. 

 "No," Fraser said. 

 Ray chuckled. "No what?" 

 "I know what it means every time you sing that song. We're on our way to
a funeral, Ray..." 

 "I know, I know," Ray said, throwing up his hand and laughing. "I'm
sorry. I was just playing around." 

 Fraser let himself smile a little as the doors opened to the lobby.  Just
under six feet tall, the strawberry blonde young man stood at the corner
and watched. In preparation, he'd made a convincing phone call to the
hotel. Not willing to give a room number, they were willing to leave a
message. Going to the desk and asking if there were any messages for a Ben
Fraser, they didn't even ask questions before they reached into the box
and handed him the note. The box number matched the room number and the
boy had gone straight up the stairs. 

 He watched as two men stepped from the room. Both seemed happy enough,
dressed in their best as they waited at the elevator. The door opened and
the men slipped inside. 

 Moving down the hall, he stared at the card in his hand. Stealing the
master key from housekeeping hadn't been easy, but she only had to take
her eyes off the door for a moment. Taking one card from those waiting to
be picked up, he'd slipped in and out of the storage room unnoticed. 

 Sliding the card into the lock, a green light lit up and he opened the
door. The boy with short red hair closed the door softly and turned.
Seeing his own lanky form in the mirror, he stopped a moment and smiled.
"Well, Adam, good start." 

 Crossing the room, he looked into the corner. One perfect, black garment
bag hung empty. The style of bag was older, but it had been kept in
excellent condition, just as the suitcase below was in excellent
condition. He opened the top and looked at the pile of perfectly folded
clothes. Laying it closed again, he moved the garment bag slightly to read
the dry cleaning receipt stapled to the plastic bag and paper covered
hanger which had been severely wrinkled in traveling. 

 He moved to the table where the huge red and black duffel bag lay open.
Looking inside he found a mess of clothing, everything simply wadded and
dropped inside. In one corner was a small box and a tube. Suspecting, but
not wanting to know, he turned away. 

 Beneath the table a pair of casual shoes lay tucked out of the way. Adam
looked around, but saw no other shoes. 

 The room was clean, barely used. He moved into the bathroom and looked
over the counter. Two toothbrushes. One set aside with the case beside it,
the other neatly dried, in it's ventilated holder, and laying parallel to
a travel size tube of toothpaste. The tube was wrinkled in the middle, but
had been straightened and curled up from the bottom. 

 Adam stopped to run a hand over his hair before looking down into the
garbage. Curious, he squatted before it and reached in. One apple core and
a roughly torn, empty package of Pop Tarts were removed before he examined
the precisely opened soap wrapper. 

 Hearing a noise at the door, Adam straightened. He heard the knob turning
and jumped into the shower. Standing perfectly still, he bit his lower
lip. 

 "Where did you leave the address?" Fraser asked, stepping into the room. 

 "Uh," Ray responded. They moved around, then Ray reached across the
table. "Here," he said, handing Fraser his date book. "It's in there." 

 Fraser took the book and followed Ray from the hotel room, glancing into
the bathroom as he did. 

 Fraser stepped into the elevator and watched Ray enter. Pressing the
button for the lobby, Ray noticed Fraser as he furrowed his brow. 

 "Something wrong?" Ray inquired. 

 Fraser shook his head, then straightened suddenly as though he'd had an
epiphany. "Someone was in our room." 

 "What?" Ray asked. 

 "Someone had been in our room between the time we got on the elevator the
first time and the time we returned." 

 "How on earth did you get that?" 

 Fraser looked Ray in the eyes. "I finished my apple and threw it in the
garbage on top of your toaster treat wrapper." 

 "Yeah, so?" 

 "The wrapper was on top," Fraser replied. The doors opened to the lobby
and Fraser immediately pushed the button to go back up. As the doors
closed, he looked out to the street and took in the waiting cab, the woman
with packages, and the bellhop passing. 

 "Maybe it was housekeeping," Ray remarked as the doors closed. 

 "We were only gone a few moments, the cart isn't in the hall, the beds
hadn't been made, and the towels weren't refreshed." 

 "So, who has the incentive to go through our garbage?" Ray asked, then it
dawned on him. Fraser and Ray looked at each other, answering in unison.
"Adam." Ray chuckled and spoke. "I like this kid already." 

 They went back to the room to find it empty. Fraser noted the moved
garbage, the way the top of his suitcase lay differently and his garment
bag had been slightly moved, but nothing else was out of place. 

 "He didn't take anything," Ray observed. 

 "No," Fraser responded. "He just wanted to know more."  "Was it a left at
the gas station?" he asked. 

 Fraser looked down into his book and nodded. "Followed by a right at the
city park." 

 Sighing again, Ray made the turn. "She didn't know enough about us to
tell him much." 

 "She knew enough to tell him something," Fraser pointed out. "Perhaps we
all knew more than we realized." 

 "What do you mean?" Ray inquired. 

 "We knew she was a photographer and a journalist, but we also knew she
was kind and adventurous. From the articles she wrote, we can assume she
liked to do things that were helpful, but also spent some time enjoying
the more relaxing things in life such as nature." 

 "Yeah," Ray agreed. 

 "On top of that, we know she moved around a lot and enjoyed some sports.
It's simply a matter of deductive reasoning." 

 "Right," Ray affirmed, "which maybe she noticed you're better at than I
am." He chuckled. "Ok, so things were great with you, me, and Kiana. It's
easy when things are easy. I guess I just don't know how well we knew each
other because we never saw each other upset." 

 Fraser pondered whether or not he'd share his argument on that comment
before speaking. His tongue clicked when he finally opened his mouth. "You
did forgive me rather quickly for kissing her and I, myself, was surprised
that it didn't bother me when I came home to see the two of you kissing.
Perhaps we never saw each other upset because there was no reason. The
situation would have allowed us to get angry or jealous if we were going
to, but the fact that we didn't might be proof that we were closer than a
relationship naturally goes." 

 Ray had no choice except to nod. Fraser was far too observant for his own
good at times. "Been thinking about that a lot?" 

 "No, actually," Benton replied. "I just always knew that it would take a
lot more to make any one of us angry with each other than with anyone
else." 

 Ray pulled into a parking spot at the funeral home and looked around.
"Did we get the address right?" he asked. 

 Looking around, Fraser nodded. In the lot were two hearses and four cars.
A cab driver finished making a note and drove out of the lot. Fraser
watched a moment. "Adam is here." Ray gave him a strange look so Fraser
pointed to the cab as it passed. "I saw that cab with the dent in front of
the hotel. It was there when we went back to the room, but gone by the
time we got in the car." 

 Ray nodded, then looked around again. "Not many people came out, it
appears." 

 Fraser looked at his watch. "We are slightly early." 

 Ray looked at his. "Five minutes," he commented. "That's not very early."
He turned to Fraser. "You think she..." he began, but couldn't finish. 

 Fraser took in a small breath, tugging at his ear. "I think she was
lonely in Chicago when she met us," he remarked as though it answered
everything. 

 "So much for blending into the crowd," Ray said, smiling. 

 Fraser smiled in return, then put his hand on the handle to the door.
"Well, I guess this is it." 

 Ray nodded and grabbed Fraser, pulling him close into a slow, tender kiss
before letting go and opening his door. The act gave him the strength even
though his heart was racing and as Fraser stepped out of the passenger
door, Ray looked over the roof at him. "I see a man in a really nice suit
by the doors. I'm guessing that's the attorney." 

 Fraser nodded and the two walked toward the man. "Mr. Kochevar?" Fraser
asked as they got close. 

 The man smiled and held out his hand. "Please. Call me Andrew," he said,
shaking Fraser's hand, then extending it to Ray. "I would assume you are
Mr. Fraser and Mr. Kowalski?" 

 They nodded. 

 "The funeral starts soon and it's planned to be very short. After that,
we'll go to the cemetery for the graveside service. Does that sound all
right?" 

 "Sure," Ray said with a shrug. "What about Adam? Aren't we supposed to
meet him?" 

 Kochevar nodded. "We just have a little business first. I'll be reading
the will tomorrow morning, but Kiana asked me to deliver this to you
before you meet Adam." He reached into his jacket and held an envelope out
to them. "I'll give you a moment to open it. If you'd like, you can come
inside when you've finished. He'll be seated on the first row, but perhaps
you'll want to wait until after the service to talk to him." 

 Fraser nodded. "Thank you," he said. 

 Andrew nodded and went inside. 

 Ray tore into the envelope and glanced at Fraser nervously. Reaching in,
he slid out a number of photos. Seeing the back of the developing paper,
he flipped the pile over and stared in dismay. "They weren't ruined," he
breathed. 

 Fraser reached over and took the picture as Ray finished with it, looking
at them in confusion. "I wonder why she would lie," Fraser said. 

 Ray shrugged and kept going through. "They're beautiful," he whispered,
then cleared his throat loudly. "I mean, you and Kiana and..." 

 "And you," Fraser commented with a grin. "The composition is impressive."


 Holding one out for Fraser to take, Ray looked at the next one and froze.
"Oh my God." 

 "What is it?" Fraser asked, taking the picture, then leaning over Ray's
shoulder. 

 "It's us." 

 Fraser stared at the black and white image of them in the bed, sleeping.
He couldn't believe what he was seeing or feeling, the images making the
memories clearer, making him more sad that he'd almost forgotten them. 

 Ray stared in amazement. He swelled with emotion at the sights and
memories coming to play. Looking at the last two, the two of them
sleeping, he let out a breath. Collecting them all, he put them back into
the envelope. "Are you ready to see what this created?" Ray asked. "I
mean, look at the way we were. Only a good thing could come from that." 

 Nodding, Fraser took the envelope and tucked it under his arm. Ray and
Fraser entered side by side. 

 ******Part 5
 Sitting on the back row, Ray grabbed Fraser's hand and squeezed for one
split second. Fraser looked at him and smiled. There were half a dozen
people in the room and as Ray looked around, he wondered if he'd know the
boy from the back of his head. 

 From a side room, a young man entered the main room and sat on the front
row. Fraser studied the boy's appearance and mannerisms as he sat. The
service began, but neither of them paid much attention. Their
concentration was focused on the back of that body in the front. 

 The eulogy was said by someone Fraser and Ray didn't know. He spoke of
her surface and Fraser realized they knew more about her than the speaker
did. That was something. As little as they knew, it was more than the
person who was trying to say goodbye for them. 

 The speaker moved to sit and there was silence a moment. Adam reached
beside him, then stood, bearing a guitar. Fraser and Ray glanced at each
other, then observed him as he moved to the front of the room, sitting in
a soft chair and propping one knee to rest the guitar on it. 

 Taking in a deep breath, the tune slowly began. It was a soft, sweet,
plucked melody with chords at the chorus. He played quietly, but with
confidence, his voice clear through the room even though he was staring at
the floor.  I love the way you laugh at the snow
 The way you always know
 You never let me stray
 I love the way you hurt when I cry
 The way you taught me t'fly
 The strongest thing I know 

 Now I'll do it on my own
 To show you that I can
 To show everyone what you made me 

 I hate the way you cry when it hurts
 Reminiscing the past
 You have to let it go
 I hate the way I cried when you died
 The life I'll have without
 The pain I'll always feel 

 But I'll do it on my own
 To show you that I can
 To show everyone what you made me  

 The tune ended and the boy looked up. He took in the face of the speaker
who gave the eulogy, the woman beside him in tears. He blinked slowly and
stood, his eyes passing the room. 

 They stopped a moment; Fraser and Ray both straightening their spines
instinctively, noting Adam did the same. Fraser looked across the rows of
seat and saw those eyes. He'd never seen eyes like Kiana's before or since
until this moment. It wasn't just brilliance of colour, it was the
expression Fraser now found heartbreaking. 

 Ray noticed them too, just as Adam lowered his head and moved to sit in
the seat he'd been in. The boy had no expression on his face, only pain in
his eyes. Ray looked at Fraser, but saw that he was still staring. 

 The service ended to men in suits carrying the casket that had remained
closed out into a hearse, Adam standing to follow. Ray and Fraser stood at
the back, getting a glance from Adam just before he exited through the
doors specified for the mourning family. 

 Driving into the cemetery, Ray stopped down the road from the hearse and
limo. He turned off the car and looked at Fraser. "Think it's strange?" 

 "Do I think what is strange?" Fraser asked. 

 "This. All of this. He hasn't even come to talk to us." 

 Fraser looked out the window. He could see the young man standing beside
the casket, staring at it. Slowly Adam reached out and adjusted some
flowers in the display of white and green on the coffin before folding his
arms. Turning his head back to Ray, Fraser licked his lower lip. "Didn't
you say that you are nervous?" Ray nodded. Fraser nodded also, in a manner
to say that must be the explanation. Ray responded with a shrug. 

 They got out and slowly walked toward the site. It was at the top of a
hill that looked down into a large pond. The man who had spoken at the
funeral stood again. This time he introduced himself as Kiana's editor. He
said a few words before the group adjourned. 

 Immediately, the attorney approached Adam. Ray was watching the attorney
and Adam converse when someone stepped before them, half blocking his
view. He leaned to the side as Fraser greeted the intruder. 

 "My name's Mark Bower." 

 Fraser shook his hand. "My name is Benton Fraser and this is Ray
Kowalski." 

 "How did you know Kiana?" 

 "We were good friends," he responded, nudging Ray. 

 Ray finally stopped trying to see Andrew and Adam talk, straightening. He
held out his hand to shake Mark's. "Ray Kowalski," he said. 

 Mark smiled vaguely and glanced at Fraser. "I was a friend of hers a few
years ago. I helped find publishers for her magazine articles when she
needed it," he commented. 

 Ray nodded. "And when she didn't?" 

 "Well, if you know Kiana, you know she mostly did the footwork herself,
but after the kid was born, she didn't need me at all." 

 Fraser furrowed his brow. "Why was that?" 

 Mark looked surprised, something was obviously common knowledge, but he
stuck his hands in his pockets. "That's when she settled down and started
writing books." 

 "She wrote books?" Ray said too loudly, then waved a hand. "Sorry," he
apologized. 

 Nodding, the dark haired man still seemed confused. "You said you were
friends?" 

 "We lost touch several years ago," Fraser responded. 

 "Well," Mark said pensively. "I guess I can understand. She didn't talk
to me much after her first book was published. I called her a couple times
and sent her a letter when her fifth hit the best seller's list, but it
seemed she only communicated with those she currently needed something
from." 

 Ray glanced past Mark. Adam and Kochevar were still talking. He furrowed
his brow. "Well, nice to meet you," Ray said, then tapped Fraser's arm.
The two walked around Bower and watched as Adam stood. 

 The attorney and Adam began to walk toward Fraser and Ray. Fraser noted
Adam still had little expression on his face and as they held eye contact
a moment, Adam then cleared his throat and looked at the ground. 

 ******Part 6
 Distracted a moment by a bird flying overhead and landing in the pond,
Ray and Fraser glanced at the Canadian duck. Looking back, they saw Adam
step faster than Kochevar, approaching them a moment before the attorney. 

 Adam smiled slightly, his lips curling at the ends. A slight dimple
played in his right cheek as he breathed in through his nostrils. "I'm...
I'm glad you came," he said smoothly, displaying more confidence than he
felt. 

 Fraser's expression softened from the nervous look he had. "We're..." he
managed, but could think of nothing else. 

 Adam sniffed. "Yeah, I don't know what we're supposed to say either." He
glanced at the attorney. "I guess we'll see you tomorrow morning, right?"
he said, taking charge. 

 Kochevar nodded. "You're all ok?" he asked. 

 The three nodded to their own beat and the man walked away, moving slowly
over the grass. Adam turned back to Ray and Fraser. 

 "Adam," Ray said, trying out the name more than anything. 

 The boy smiled a little again. "Yes?" 

 The silence may have been uncomfortable, but that didn't matter. Even
though they felt like running from the situation, something else about it
felt right. Finally, Fraser found something to say. "Your mother was a
very special person." 

 Adam looked amused, then licked his lips. "Uh, well, I would hope you
would think so," he commented. 

 Ray cleared his throat. 

 "Sorry," Adam apologized, seeing his remark had made them both squirm
slightly. He straightened. "Why don't we go somewhere and have lunch?
Maybe a burrito will help lighten things up, huh? You guys don't mind
taking me somewhere, do you?"  Requesting a corner booth in the quiet
diner, Ray followed the hostess and picked the side before Fraser sat
beside him and Adam sat across from them. Immediately opening a menu, Adam
looked engrossed. 

 Fraser licked his lower lip. "I want you to know that Ray and I..." he
began softly. 

 Adam stopped him, dropping the menu. "I don't want to talk about anything
serious, ok? Can we just start out with the weather or something?" 

 "Certainly," Fraser responded, glancing at Ray. "But at some point..." 

 "Tomorrow," Adam interrupted again. "After the will. We'll start slowly
and discuss the really important things after the will." 

 Fraser nodded and Ray shifted the silverware in front of him. "So, this
crazy weather, huh?" he asked, making the atmosphere lift. 

 Adam smiled. "It's warm, but it'll just get warmer," he responded,
seemingly annoyed by the fact. 

 "You like the cold?" Ray asked. 

 "Yeah, actually. I mean, I'm used to it." 

 Fraser cocked his head. "You're used to it?" 

 "We lived in Toronto until I was 11." 

 "Toronto? Canada?" Ray asked, a little stunned. 

 Adam nodded. "Is there another?" he asked, amused. 

 Ray shifted. "What was she doing in Canada?" 

 "She..." he stopped himself, shrugging. "There's plenty of time to talk
about her," he said meekly. 

 Ray took in a breath, realizing the boy wanted to change the subject. 

 Fraser leaned forward slightly. "I found that song very touching. Did you
write it?" he asked. 

 Adam nodded. "Hobby," he responded. "I've always liked music." 

 "I see. What other hobbies do you have?" Fraser encouraged. 

 Shrugging, Adam looked at the menu as he spoke. "I like to read a lot." 

 "Read what?" Ray asked. 

 "Little of everything," Adam responded. "I used to build model cars, but
I haven't done one in a couple years." 

 "You like movies? TV?" Ray inquired. 

 Adam shook his head. "Not much. No television. I've seen a few movies
with friends, of course, but I don't think I got a chance to become a big
fan." 

 Ray smiled. *'No television? Sounds like she didn't change that much
after all. Still doing it all as simple as possible.'* 

 "What else do you like?" Fraser queried. 

 Adam shrugged again. The waitress came, quickly taking orders from the
group, then leaving. "I like lots of things," Adam said once she was gone.
"That's why I like to read, I guess." The waitress returned with their
drinks and Adam stared at his. "You guys both still cops?" he asked out of
the blue. 

 Fraser cleared his throat. "I am. I've been promoted and now I oversee
the Consulate in Chicago." 

 Adam nodded and turned to Ray. Giving Adam an odd look before looking
down at the table, he shook his head. "I retired quite a long time ago." 

 "Oh?" Adam seemed intrigued. 

 "Injured," Ray said simply, but didn't want to explain so he changed the
subject. "What about school? You like school?" 

 Adam stalled a moment. "Oh, yes," he responded. "Yeah, I like school." 

 "Have you considered college?" Fraser asked. 

 "I promised Mom I'd go," Adam responded. 

 "Good," Fraser said. "Do you know what you want to do?" 

 Adam shrugged. "I figure that's what the first couple of years are for,
if I haven't figured it out by then." 

 Smiling, Fraser nodded. "It certainly helped Ray," he commented. 

 Ray shot him a look and Adam raised his eyebrows. "You went to college?" 

 Frowning, Ray nodded. "I went for a couple semesters before I decided to
become a cop," he said. "Then I went back after I retired." 

 "He teaches at the University of Chicago," Fraser informed Adam, gaining
himself another look from Ray. 

 "You're a professor? With a Doctorate?" Adam asked in shock. 

 "Just a Master's." Ray smiled slightly and nodded. "It's not that
surprising, is it?" 

 "Well, it's just that Mom used to say... she implied.... What got you
interested in getting the degree and becoming a teacher?" he finally
asked. 

 Grinning broadly, Ray winked. "Sheer boredom," he replied. 

 "Ray found himself with excessive time on his hands so I suggested he
take a class in Criminal Justice, just to keep his senses sharp," Fraser
began. 

 "And I liked it so I took a few more and before I knew it, I was close to
getting a degree in it so I took the other classes. After that, I saw
myself faced with more sitting around home so I went on for the Master's
and I could have gotten a doctorate in psychology or something, I suppose,
but one of my professor's suggested I teach some lower division courses
and use my experiences as a cop as a basis. I found out I kind of liked
doing it so I kept doing it and now I teach three classes a semester." 

 Adam stared at him a long time, then looked down at his food. "Wow.
That's nothing like the man Mom described. I think maybe she didn't
understand." 

 "Did she say I was stupid or something?" Ray asked with a chuckle. 

 "No!" Adam said immediately. "She actually said you were smarter than you
let on, but she also said you weren't interested in that kind of thing." 

 Ray shrugged. "Sometimes life makes you interested," he responded.  Adam
sat beside Fraser during the reading of the will, but made no eye contact.
Afterward, he quietly stood. Ray and Fraser moved to stand beside the
attorney where they had several forms to sign. Once finished, Ray glanced
at Adam who was standing along one wall, his arms folded. 

 Walking over to him, Fraser followed. "Everything ok?" Ray asked. 

 Adam nodded. "I'm just not sure what happens next," he responded
somberly. 

 Ray looked to Fraser for approval before speaking. He cleared his throat.
"Well, you're invited to come live with us," he offered. 

 Adam looked at them both, his expression difficult to read. 

 "We don't want to uproot you from the life you have here," Fraser
explained. "We just want you to know the offer is open." 

 "I ... there's nothing here to make me want to stay. I'd like to come
live with you - at least for a little while." He paused when Ray smiled
slightly. "All I need is our stuff. I mean, I have some things to take and
I want to keep some of Mom's things. Other than that, I don't care where
we live." 

 "I suppose we could help you pack this afternoon and take you back with
us," Ray said, thinking out loud more than anything. He took in a breath.
"Only thing is how much stuff do you have? We flew out here and..." 

 "We could rent a car to drive back," Fraser suggested. 

 "That's a long drive," Ray said, shaking his head. "Really long. We'd
have to leave tonight just to get home for work Monday." 

 "We'll figure it out," Fraser stated. 

 Ray smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we'll figure it out."  Ray and Fraser were
surprised by the two rows of the bookshelf taken up completely by novels.
Looking at her name repeated on the binding of each one, Ray shook his
head. "I had no idea." 

 Adam looked over at them from where he stood lining up two suitcases.
"She said that at first it was hard, but pretty soon, she liked it more
than the magazine articles." 

 Ray turned to Adam. "Have you read them?" 

 "Most of them," he responded. "A couple Mom didn't really want me to
read." Stepping up, he pulled one out and held it out. Fraser took the
book and furrowed his brow at the boy. "That one's about you," Adam said. 

 "Pardon?" Fraser asked, stunned and concerned. 

 "Well, she told me that that one has a lot about how she felt about you
guys in it, even though the subject matter is completely different." 

 "Oh," Fraser responded, Ray relaxing also. 

 "She say good things?" Ray asked. 

 Adam nodded. "It's really a long panegyric on your friendship." 

 Fraser turned automatically to Ray. "Panegyric refers to a public speech
or published work that..." 

 "I know." 

 "You do?" 

 Ray grinned. "Yes, Fraze. It means the book completely praises our
friendship." 

 Fraser raised his eyebrows, intrigued. 

 Ray chuckled. "You think after 15 years of big words from you I didn't
pick up a few? Just because I don't craft my communications into lyrical
prose of grandiose expressions doesn't mean I'm not cognizant of what the
English language is capable of portraying." He winked, smiling broadly. 

 Chuckling, Fraser looked at him. "I had no idea." 

 "Well, you wouldn't, wouldja?" he slurred intentionally. "I'm probably
capable of expounding on the Latin root form, too, but who wants to know
that information besides you?" Casually, Ray turned to Adam. "Got some
boxes for the books and magazines? We can mail them to Chicago at book
rates, I think, and that'll take care of them." 

 "Yes," Adam responded, turning. 

 "What else do you want to take?" Fraser asked. 

 Adam disappeared into the bedroom and produced several boxes that once
held reams of printer paper. Looking around after he dropped the boxes
before Ray, he took in everything. "Camera equipment, I guess. I packed
the photo albums with my clothes and I don't have much use for the rest."
Bending down, he took one of the boxes. "So I'll get the camera's and
stuff and that'll be it." 

 "All right," Fraser said, turning to begin packing the books and
magazines. It was quiet a moment before Fraser noticed Adam staring long
and hard at each camera before putting it in its own padded bag, then
putting the bag in the box. "Did Kiana show you how to take pictures?"
Fraser asked. 

 Adam looked up, smiling as he nodded. "She used to take me out and let me
take pictures with her old camera. She used to say she thought I'd make a
fine photographer someday if I wanted to." He looked longingly at the
camera in his hand. "Well, I don't know if I want to, but I really liked
doing it. I liked taking pictures with her and of her." 

 Ray turned. "Of her?" 

 "Yeah, I took some pictures of her for fun. She wanted me to get a feel
for portraits after I saw the pictures she took of the three of you." 

 Ray cleared his throat. "You saw those?" 

 "Well, she gave me two. The rest she said she was saving. I always
thought she sent them to you, but she kept telling me she didn't." 

 "The attorney gave them to us," Fraser responded. 

 Adam nodded. "Anyway, the picture they used on the back cover of Grace
was one I took." 

 Ray and Fraser looked back at the shelves, then in the boxes. A moment
later, Ray pulled a book from the box he held and turned it to the back.
Holding it, he could see such life and character. It was getting hard not
to miss her. "Wow," he breathed. 

 Fraser looked at Adam, smiling supportively. "It's lovely," he commented.


 Adam put the last camera into the box. Moving to the fridge, he began to
drop in rolls of film. "Well, she was lovely," he said quietly. "Anyway,
that's why I want the camera's." He paused. "The house is yours now. Are
you going to sell it?" 

 Fraser and Ray exchanged looks. "I don't know," Fraser said. 

 Adam shrugged. "Well, I don't see any reason to keep it. Mom half
expected you guys to sell it." 

 "Did she expect you to come live with us?" Ray asked. 

 "Yeah, I think so," Adam replied. "I know she wanted me to get to know
you both. I know she wished..." he let the sentence trail. 

 "Wished what?" Ray pushed. 

 "I'm not sure," Adam lied, his voice somber. "Maybe she just wished I
hadn't missed out on the last 15 years." 

 Ray stopped packing and stepped over to Adam. "Did she tell you why she
didn't tell us about you?" he asked. 

 Adam lowered himself into the nearest chair. Fraser came up and sat with
Ray, waiting for the answer. "She didn't want to make your life
complicated," he explained. "She told me it was her fault, all of it, and
that she just didn't want to make things complicated for you." 

 "But you are our child - or at least, one of ours," Ray argued. 

 Adam sighed. "I know that and so did she, but she said you two had enough
to figure out without adding a son to the mix. It took me some time, but I
understand. You were both cops and 15 years ago, there was no way to be
open about that and still be able to do your jobs, right?" 

 "Unfortunately, it's still difficult at times," Fraser admitted. 

 "It's too bad, but that's what you guys were dealing with. So she didn't
want to make it any harder." 

 Ray and Fraser nodded. "Well, I guess she had a point," Ray observed.
"It's just too bad. I'm sorry that we missed out on your life too." 

 Adam smiled a little. He liked hearing that, knowing that. Those words
finally began to make him feel more comfortable with the situation he was
about to go into. 

 ******Part 7
 Adam settled into their apartment and their life so quickly, it was
almost as though he'd always been there. He knew enough about them and
they now knew enough about him that it seemed things were comfortable. Ray
enrolled Adam into the freshman class at the high school while Fraser made
the calls to get the legal documents where they needed to be. 

 Having been introduced to several of their friends, Ray and Fraser felt
comfortable leaving Adam in the detective's bull pen while Fraser
accompanied Ray to the offices upstairs for some updates on his medical
information. 

 Francesca, who had been working there so long, she was now considered
head of the civilian aides, was first to start a conversation with Adam. 

 "So, how do you like Chicago?" Francesca asked after they had been
talking for several minutes about his school and her love life. 

 Adam watched the dark man approach. "Hello, Captain," he said. 

 "Call me Jack," Huey said. 

 Adam nodded and turned back to Francesca. "Chicago is nice." 

 "You miss home?" 

 "Home?" he asked. "Not really. I like it here." 

 "Good," she said. "Fraser and Ray treating you good?" 

 "Yeah," Adam said. "They're great." 

 "Ren and I think so too," she commented. "He and I were talking about how
much they seem to like you. That's good." 

 Adam smiled. "Sometimes I think it would have been nice to live in the
same city so that I could have been a part of the big things in their
life," Adam explained. 

 Huey nodded as Francesca raised an eyebrow. "Like what?" she asked. 

 Adam shrugged, thinking before he had an answer. "It might have been nice
to be there when they got married." 

 "They didn't get married," Huey said quickly. 

 "Well, it would have been nice to have been invited to the thing they
did," Adam said. "I mean, whatever you want to call it - because they've
got rings, right?" 

 Frannie smiled. "No one was invited," she stated. "One Friday about 10
years ago they left for lunch together and they returned the following
Tuesday with rings on their fingers." 

 "Oh," Adam said, looking at the floor. 

 "You'd say 10 years, right Jack?" Francesca asked. 

 Huey nodded. "That's about right. I think it was just a few months after
Dewey left Chicago to go take care of his parents." 

 Adam raised his gaze to Francesca's again. "How do you know they didn't
run off to get married that weekend?" 

 Huey shrugged. "Because I asked them if they ran off to get married and
all Ray said was no." 

 "So what's with the rings?" Adam inquired. 

 Frannie pointed at Adam's chest. "You just might be the only one they'll
tell. If they won't tell you, they're not telling anyone." 

 Adam smiled. "So, let me get this straight. Ten years ago they
disappeared for a weekend to exchange rings, but not get married and no
one knows exactly what they did do or what the rings are supposed to
mean?" 

 "All I know is that they're not supposed to mean that they're either
married or engaged. I asked about them, too." Francesca smiled. 

 Nodding slowly, Adam scuffed his feet on the floor. "Ah."  "I've been
talking to your friends," Adam said as he walked out of the station behind
Fraser and Ray. 

 Ray turned. "Uh oh." 

 "Uh oh what?" Adam inquired. 

 Ray stopped at the car and unlocked the doors. "I'm just afraid of what
they told you. You talk to Frannie?" 

 Adam furrowed his brow. "Yes, why?" 

 Ray chuckled. "I'm just afraid of what she told you." 

 "Nothing incriminating," Adam responded, then cocked his head. "What
incriminating thing could she tell me?" 

 Ray gave Fraser a look, winked, then got into the driver's seat. Waiting
until everyone was inside, he turned to look at Adam in the back seat.
"Francesca had quite a thing for Fraze. She hasn't been taking it very
well," he explained. 

 Fraser blushed slightly. 

 Adam straightened. "She seems to be taking it fine now. Do you mean
before she started seeing Ren?" 

 Ray and Fraser looked at each other, shocked. "Ren? Turnbull?" Ray asked,
shocked. 

 Nodding, Adam leaned forward. "You sound surprised." 

 "I am. Fraser, did you know anything about this?" Ray asked. 

 Fraser shook his head. "I had no idea." 

 "She's dating Sergeant Turnbull?" Ray queried, looking Adam in the eye. 

 Straight faced, Adam nodded, telling Ray that he was being honest. "I
assumed you knew. She mentioned offhandedly to me that they've been seeing
each other for a couple of months." 

 "Damn, Fraze, we're out of the loop!" 

 Fraser smiled. "Shall we go to lunch?" 

 "Yeah," Ray agreed, starting the engine. 

 "There is just one question," Adam interrupted. 

 "Oh?" Fraser inquired. 

 "The rings," he said simply. Noticing the way the two men looked at each
other, he leaned forward. "They don't seem to know anything about them." 

 "No, they don't," Ray responded coldly. 

 "Do you?" Adam asked. 

 Ray chuckled. "Of course we do," he responded. "It's just that it's...
they're... Fraser?" 

 Fraser cleared his throat. "Uh, well, you see..." 

 Adam waved his hand. "Not going to tell me either, huh?" 

 ******Part 8
 Ray lay on his left side and brought his right knee to his chest. Holding
still, he felt Fraser move up on him, positioning himself just right,
knowing this was all about angles. Fraser pressed inside slowly. Painful
and piercing, Ray already felt himself getting hot, his penis fiercely
tight with anticipation. Fraser thrust himself into Ray, smoothly pushing
as he knew from experience this angle could be excruciating. He'd chosen
not to participate in it anymore, but Ray had always been a different
sort, saving the position for special occasions. 

 He pressed in again, feeling Ray cringe, but also pushing back for a
deeper invitation. As his body relaxed slightly in preparation, Fraser
heard Ray gasp. "Harder," he insisted. Fraser plunged himself deeper, Ray
gasping again. "Harder - ah!" he yelped, grabbing the bed. "Yesss," he
hissed, waves of warmth overtaking him. 

 Ray closed his eyes, reveling in the stinging sensation, grunting as he
ran his hand over his chest and stomach before grabbing himself. Pumping
hard and fast, he paused each time Fraser threw himself against his ass,
groaning in pain and rapture. 

 Sliding his hand across Ray's thigh, Fraser rested his hand over the one
Ray used to squeeze himself, not taking over, simply adding his own
pressure. Feeling the muscles inside Ray tighten, Fraser drove in deeper,
listening as Ray gasped, then moaned loudly with all the stimulation and
his cum finally being released. Ray was breathless as Fraser pumped
against him, breathing steadily until he came. 

 Feeling Fraser come inside him, Ray closed his eyes and swallowed.
Forcing a deep breath, he waited until Fraser slid out slowly and fell to
the bed behind him. The only sound in the room for several moments was
their breathing, but Ray broke the silence. "What do you think about
telling him about these?" he asked, hold up his left ring finger. 

 "I don't know," Fraser replied, putting his arm over Ray. 

 Ray let out a breath. "We told each other it was just between us and
always would be. No one else needs to know. No one else deserves to know."
He paused. "But that was before we found out we had a son." 

 "I know," Fraser said smoothly. "Although, just because we have a son
doesn't mean he needs to be made fully aware of everything about us," he
added. 

 "Exactly," Ray said. "I mean, he'll have his own secrets and this is
ours." He rolled over to face Fraser. "I don't want to tell anyone, not
even him. There are other things we can let him in on, but these rings..."
he played with Fraser's and let the sentence go. 

 Fraser nodded. "He seemed to understand when we told him we wanted to
discuss it before telling him," he commented. 

 "Yeah," Ray breathed. "So we'll just tell him that this is our one
secret." Giving Fraser a quiet kiss, he pulled back and looked at the
rings again. "Besides, I'm not sure I can put into words all of what this
means to me." 

 "Nor I," Fraser agreed.  Ray and Adam were sitting at the dining table
when Fraser walked through the door into the apartment. He saw them look
up, so he smiled and walked over to them. Sitting down, he let out a
breath. 

 "How was work?" Adam asked. 

 "Fine," Fraser replied. 

 Adam looked at Ray, then back to Fraser. "That's about what Ray said." 

 Fraser smiled. "How was school?" he inquired. 

 Adam looked at the table. "I met a nice kid. He's pretty friendly and he
knows a lot of girls. Seems to think he'll be able to get me a date by
prom," he said with a grin. 

 Ray chuckled. "That's good," he commented, then looked at Fraser. "Adam
was just looking at this form to order a gravestone," he informed him. 

 Adam pushed the paper toward Fraser. "I was asking Ray what he thought.
What do you think?" 

 Fraser looked at the page, then at Adam. "I think anything you choose
would be lovely," he said. 

 Adam shifted. "Yeah, but I was hoping you guys would give me some input."


 Ray shrugged. "You knew her better than we did, Adam. You know what she
would like." 

 Adam sighed and looked at the page again. "I'm just not sure. Should I
add a quote or a picture or something? I know she wouldn't want it to look
plain," he remarked. 

 Fraser stood. "Anything you want, Adam. If money is a problem, I'm sure
Ray and I could..." 

 "No, it's not the money," Adam replied. "There was enough insurance for
this, right?" he asked. 

 "Plenty," Fraser responded. 

 "So, I just want to make sure it's just right," Adam stated. 

 Fraser put his hand on Adam's shoulder. "Whatever you choose will be just
right because it will be from your heart," he said, then moved into the
kitchen. "Spaghetti?" he asked loud enough to be heard from the living
room. 

 Ray stood and moved into the kitchen, too. "Yeah," he said. "I added the
rest of that bell pepper in the fridge." Fraser smelled the sauce and
nodded. "What do you want on your gravestone, Fraze?" he asked, lowering
his voice. 

 Fraser turned and found Ray was standing close. "I hadn't given it any
thought," Fraser replied honestly. 

 Ray smiled, kissed Fraser, then tilted his head. "I want a dirty
limerick," he said. 

 Fraser shook his head, chuckling. Looking pensive a moment, he put the
lid back over the sauce. "Maybe Adam wants more help," he wondered
allowed. 

 Ray put his hand over Fraser's upper arm. "Naw. I don't think it's a good
idea to interfere." 

 "Well, he did ask..." 

 "I'm sure he was just being polite. Look, Fraze, you've got to remember
that's a 15 year old boy in there. Teenagers want freedom to do things
their way. He doesn't want us rushing in to fix every little problem," Ray
explained. 

 "I guess you're right," Fraser said. 

 "Besides, you were right. He knows her better than we do." 

 Fraser nodded. "Still, we do know her pretty well. Don't you think that
the things he's told us over the last month have seemed very much along
the lines of what we saw in her?" 

 Ray agreed. "Yeah, it seems like we knew her at least as well as anyone
else. Better than most. Still, he's her son and this is his thing." 

 ******Part 9
 With his arm over Fraser's side and his chest against Fraser's back, Ray
felt the warmth of their bodies. He brushed the blanket's down to his
waist, the spring making its presence known with a warm front keeping
Chicago pleasant. Listening to Fraser's soft breaths, he knew the other
man was awake. It was late and both were tired, but tonight sleep wouldn't
come. "Fraser?" Ray asked softly. 

 "Yes?" 

 "What are you thinking about?" 

 Fraser took in a deep breath. Letting it out with resolve, he said,
"Nothing." 

 "You? Not thinking about anything?" Ray asked, surprised. Met by silence,
he knew Fraser's answer had been a lie. He hugged him closer. "Penny for
your thoughts?" he said, coaxing, but was met by more silence. "Twenty
dollars to act them out," Ray added, using a line he'd heard once, but
that he was seriously willing to follow up on right now if it got Fraser
to communicate. 

 "I was just thinking," Fraser said as though it were an answer. 

 "I know you were. What about?" 

 Fraser couldn't answer for a moment. Eventually, he managed one word.
"Kiana," he replied. 

 "Oh," Ray said, his tone loaded. It was quiet once more before Ray spread
his hand on Fraser's chest. "What about her?" he pressed. 

 Fraser sighed before answering. "I was just thinking that it would have
been nice to see her again." 

 "Yeah," Ray said. 

 "To be with her," Fraser admitted softly. 

 "Be with her how?" Ray pushed, knowing the answer. He cleared his throat.
"To have her in our bed?" 

 Fraser responded with a nod. "I was only wondering." 

 *Wonder all you want,* Ray thought. I wanted her here again too, but it's
too late for that. He hated admitting to himself that he wanted her, but
as soon as he did, he shifted away from Fraser. 

 Fraser rolled toward him. "I didn't mean to upset you," he said. 

 Ray shook his head. "No, I just..." he couldn't say it, though, so he
shook his head more emphatically. 

 Fraser brushed his fingertips over Ray's chest and abdomen, looking deep
into his eyes. The room was silent until the sound of movement on bed
sheets broke through. Ray moved closer to Fraser and with relaxed lips, he
kissed Fraser. 

 Bringing his hand to Fraser's hip, he focused on the nerve endings
feeling Fraser's touch. His tongue left his mouth and they tasted each
other, yet the kiss remained listless. 

 Smoothly, Fraser felt Ray's hand moving around on his hip, ass, and
thigh. Their erections each touched the other's body, but as they pulled
closer to each other, they ignored them and continued to kiss lazily. 

 Tenderly, Fraser moved over Ray, kissing his earlobe with feathery touch
while fondling Ray's body. It was slow and lazy, the way they made love
that night. Quiet and peaceful with little thought of the boy sleeping in
the next room. 

 Though he wasn't sleeping. Adam was staring at the ceiling. He'd heard
his mother's name and found that if he could breathe silently, he could
nearly make out a conversation through the walls of the apartment. Muffled
as it was, it was clear enough. 

 So when there were no more words, when Ray's last sentence trailed back
into silence, Adam closed his eyes.  "Hey, Mom. How did things go today?"
Adam asked the redhead as she came through the front door. 

 She sighed. "Basically, he hated every word. He's asked me to change the
ending and he and I are at odds about the point of view." 

 Adam looked sympathetic. "I'm sorry. I thought you liked the ending." 

 "Well, I do, but when your editor says it's crap, you take another look."
Kiana shrugged. "It's all right. I had a few ideas about it on the way
home. Would you mind if I run them past you after dinner?" 

 "Of course not," he replied. 

 "Oh, unless you have too much homework," she amended. 

 "I'm finished," he said. "There wasn't much. I'm all yours tonight." 

 She smiled. "Thanks," she said softly, then sat down. "So, tell me about
school today." 

 "Nothing special. I think I did well on the math test." 

 "Of course. You always do well. Did you give Cynthia your phone number?"
He shook his head and she smiled, patting his arm. "You know she's
interested or she wouldn't have asked. You know it's ok to give it to her
and let her call you." 

 He shrugged shyly. "I know," he said. "I will tomorrow." 

 "Only if you want to," Kiana said. "I mean, you said you liked her, but
it's all right to change your mind." 

 "I know that too, Mom. I guess I'm just nervous." 

 She chuckled. "Nervous, huh? I thought I raised you better than that,"
she said with a wink.  

 Always there to remind him that self confidence was a good thing and that
it didn't matter what others thought, Kiana had been his rock. Gone now,
Adam rolled onto his side and remembered the way she joked with him.
Letting out a long breath, he pushed it away and tried to sleep.  "Hey,
Fraser. Check this out," Ray said as Fraser stepped through the door. 

 Fraser walked over to the dining table. On it lay a stack of books and a
computer generated slip of paper. Ray picked up the slip and handed it to
him. "Been here two report cards and he's got 6 A's and an A-. Kid's a
fucking genius. He's yours." 

 "After seeing his desire to play tricks on us when he put the dish soap
in the shampoo bottle, I'm inclined to disagree," Fraser remarked. "Where
is he?" 

 Ray shrugged. "He was gone when I got home. I stayed pretty late getting
the finals ready." 

 "Ah," Fraser said. "Did he leave this out for us to see?" 

 Ray pursed his lips. "Out in what sense? Last quarter we had to ask him
for it and he was embarrassed by the B+. I had to... you know... search it
out." 

 "How did you know to look?" Benton queried. 

 "Uh, school called me at work today. Seems he neglected to mention
parent-teacher conferences." 

 Fraser looked confused a moment. "He's afraid of us finding out that he's
an excellent student?" 

 Shrugging, Ray took the report card and slid it into the front cover of
the math book on the table, Fraser suspecting that's where it had been
originally. "Maybe he's just afraid of us. Or, afraid of people finding
out about us. I don't know." 

 Fraser let out a breath. "We'll talk to him when he gets home. 

 Ray nodded, but put his hand Fraser's arm. "It's probably nothing. We're
supposed to go on Thursday, we'll talk to his teachers and find out what's
up. We'll talk, but we don't have to be pushy. If he wants us to know,
he'll tell us." 

 Fraser accepted that and went into the bedroom.  "I had a really nice
time," Adam said, smiling at the brunette beauty his friend had set him up
with. 

 She grinned a little. "Yeah," she breathed, slightly distracted, but he
didn't notice. 

 "Maybe we could go out again on Friday?" he asked. 

 She looked at him a moment, then shook her head. "I'm busy." She paused.
"Actually, with school and everything, my life has gotten pretty busy,"
she added. 

 He looked at her, waiting for further explanation, but she offered none.
"You don't want to see me again," he finally observed. 

 She shook her head. "Sorry," she offered, feebly. 

 Shrugging, Adam turned away. "It's ok," he said, though inside he was
torn to pieces. 

 ******Part 10
 "No, Fraser," Ray was saying. "My parents were into everything I did and
it made me nuts. I acted out because I felt like they were smothering me.
We're talking about a really smart kid here who forgot to tell us about
some parent-teacher thing. That's all." 

 "My grandparents took particular interest in all of my activities and..."


 "And look how you turned out. Look, Fraze, I just think we should give
him some space. He seems to be doing fine..." Interrupted as the door
opened, both men turned around and looked at the boy over the back of the
couch. Ray stood first. "Little late?" 

 Adam nodded. "We were studying and..." 

 Fraser stood and for whatever reason, it cause Adam to stop speaking.
Raising his eyebrows, Fraser took a step around the couch. "I'm afraid Ray
may have intruded on your privacy and..." 

 "Fraser!" Ray snapped. 

 Adam looked confused, so Ray went on. "I found your report card. Good
job." Adam's stare went blank. Ray took in a breath. "The school called.
Apparently we missed parent-teacher conferences." 

 "Yeah," Adam said. "I must have forgotten to tell you." He'd also
forgotten to tell them that a reminder had arrived by postal mail, but
he'd confiscated it before they saw it. 

 "Why?" Fraser asked. 

 Adam turned his head. "Why did I forget?" 

 "It's ok if you're embarrassed," Ray said. 

 "I'm not embarrassed," Adam responded. "I just didn't tell you." 

 "Didn't tell? Implying that you chose not to. Did you forget or did you
just not tell us?" Ray inquired. 

 Adam shrugged. 

 Fraser folded his arms. "Is there something you want to talk about?" he
asked. 

 Adam looked at him a moment, then at Ray, studying their expressions. He
glanced at Fraser, then off into space. "I just didn't volunteer the
information," he said. 

 "Why not?" Ray pressed. 

 Adam looked at him, then spoke as he turned. "Because you didn't ask!" he
snapped, then slammed his bedroom door closed behind him. 

 Ray looked immediately at Fraser who stared at the closed door a moment
before meeting his gaze. "What are we supposed to do? Ask him every day if
it's parent-teacher conferences?"  Kiana saw the look of distress on
Adam's face as he crossed through the living room and into the hall. A
moment later, his door slammed. Moving the mouse for a quick save, she
stood from the table and followed. Knocking softly, she was greeted with a
harsh snap. "What?" 

 "Can I come in?" she asked. 

 "I guess," he replied quietly. 

 Opening the door, she found her son laying face down on the bed, his arm
hugging his pillow as his cheek lay on it. She sat beside him. "What
happened?" she inquired. 

 Adam let out a sigh and she knew it was big. Laying behind him, she
brushed his hair behind his ear, then rubbed gently at his back. "It can't
be that bad, can it?" she asked tenderly. 

 Burying his head in the pillow, she heard Adam sob once. He immediately
collected himself and straightened his spine. "She dumped me." 

 "Cynthia?" He nodded. "Oh," she responded, then took in a deep breath.
First loves were so hard, and even harder to get over. She touched his
shoulder. "Some women just don't know that they have a good thing until
they don't have it anymore," she tried to reassure. 

 Not moving at first, he finally rolled onto his back. She sat up and put
her knee on the bed so she could face him. "I just wish it didn't hurt so
much," he said, his voice cracking. 

 Kiana touched his leg and stared at the wall. It was a long time before
she spoke. "I know. I wish it didn't hurt so much, either." She looked at
him then. "But you're smart and handsome and someday you're going to make
someone really happy." 

 Adam looked at her and tried to smile, but it came out as a crooked
frown. The rest of the evening they spent talking and keeping his mind off
his troubles.  

 Rolling over, Adam listened. He heard Ray and Fraser talking, but
couldn't tell if it was about him or not. It didn't matter. Either way,
they weren't talking to him. He closed his eyes.  Kiana spewed the liquid
from her mouth and started to laugh. Adam was laughing by now too, having
slipped Tabasco in her orange juice and gotten the amusement from her he'd
hoped for. 

 He loved her laugh. He loved to make her laugh. She brightened an entire
day with just one of her joyous moments, and seeing her guffaws because of
a slight practical joke made him feel... made him feel...  

 Interrupted by the knock on the door, Adam's memory floated away. Sitting
up, he quietly invited the knocker in. 

 Fraser stepped into the room. "Adam," he said, tenderly. 

 Adam simply stared as Ray came in behind him. He could see that Ray
looked a little irritated. Perhaps he'd lost the battle Fraser and he had
been having in the living room, Adam mused. Ray folded his arms and stood
nearly beside Fraser, but with his shoulder just behind Fraser's. 

 Fraser let Adam take in the view of them both there before speaking
again. "Adam, it seems that something might be wrong. Are you all right?" 

 Adam laid back down and rolled to his side. "Fine," he replied coldly. 

 "If you aren't happy here..." Fraser began. 

 Adam's attention snapped back on them. "You don't want me here?" 

 "Of course we do!" Fraser defended. "It's just that you seem less than
satisfied with the situation." 

 Adam sat up again. "I'm satisfied," he responded coldly. 

 "You sure?" Ray asked. "Because you were pretty upset a minute ago. Look,
we know this is a weird situation, but you don't have to stay just because
we... because your mother... uh..." he lost his words and the room was
quiet a moment before Adam shook his head. 

 "No, I just have a lot on my mind," he said. 

 Ray coughed and Fraser spun to look at him. Adam watched the move, then
watched them. It took a moment for Fraser to relax before turning back to
Adam. "We want you to feel like you can talk to us," Fraser insisted. "Do
you?" 

 Adam nodded slowly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I guess I just didn't
know if you guys would actually want to go." 

 "We do," Ray responded. 

 Adam nodded again. "I'll tell you next time," he added quietly. 

 Fraser and Ray glanced at each other, then left the room. The door wasn't
quite closed when he heard Ray cough again. "Are you all right?" Fraser
asked. 

 Adam heard no answer as the door closed.  Ray glanced at his watch and
let out a breath. He had an hour and ten minutes for lunch before his next
class so he went down the hall to the offices for his department. Stepping
into the small office he shared with Professor Croft, he saw the man hold
out the phone. "You have a call, Ray," Stephen Croft said. 

 Ray looked confused, but took the receiver. "Hello?" 

 "Is this Mr. Kowalski?" the female asked. 

 "Uh, yes," he replied. 

 "This is Mrs. Collins at Skyview High School. Our records show that you
and a Mr. Fraser are legal guardians to one of my students - Adam Flay?" 

 "Yes," he responded. "Is something wrong?" 

 "Well, I'd like to invite you in for a conference to discuss his
performance. Would that be possible?" 

 Ray furrowed his brow a moment. "When?" 

 "As soon as it would be convenient for you," she responded. 

 Ray sighed and walked the phone to his desk, flipping open his desk
calendar. Tomorrow is the lecture, Thursday is a full class day, Friday
I'm giving out the information for final exams. "Uh, I don't have
afternoon classes on Monday. Is that soon enough?" 

 She was quiet. "I suppose," she said at last. "I'd like to see you around
2:30." 

 "All right," he said, still confused. 

 Ending the call, he hung up, then picked it up and dialed a new number.
"Hey, Turnbull. Is Fraser busy?" He waited several moments before speaking
again, Stephen watching him. "Hey, Fraze," he said, catching Croft's gaze
before sitting at his desk and leaning over it, as though the action would
gain him some privacy. "I just got a call from Skyview. Seems they want
someone to go in and talk to them." 

 "About Adam?" Fraser asked. 

 "Yeah. Something about his performance. She sounded like it wasn't good."


 "He's an excellent student," Fraser remarked. "What could be the
problem?" 

 "I'm hoping she means performance as in how he's doing, not performance
as in he peed all over the chalkboard." 

 Fraser rolled his eyes. "They don't use chalkboards there anymore. The
school has dry erase..." 

 "You get my point, Fraser. Something's up." 

 "We could try talking to him at dinner tonight," Fraser suggested.
"Perhaps he knows what she wants to talk about." 

 "Yeah, maybe," Ray agreed. "So 2:30 on Monday. Does that work for you or
am I going alone?" 

 There was a pause, then Fraser clicked his pen on the desk. "That is open
for me. I'll have Turnbull schedule some personal time so that no
conflicts will arise." 

 "All right," Ray said. "Then I'll see you at home." Hanging up, he sighed
before reaching into the large drawer on his left to retrieve a brown
paper sack. He could almost feel Croft watching him as he started to eat
his sandwich. 

 ******Part 11
 Adam claimed to have no idea what the meeting was about so when Ray
picked up Fraser at the Consulate, they went to the school together with
equally few clues. Following directions given by the main office, Ray
opened the classroom door and looked inside. It was all just as sterile as
he'd remembered high school. 

 Ray let out a breath and looked at the stout woman behind the desk. "Mrs.
Collins?" 

 She looked up. In wire rimmed glasses and short dark hair, she had the
face of a naughty nun. She looked fun and pleasant, but also as though she
related to youth well. She stood and walked around the desk to shake
hands. "Hello. Mr. Kowalski and Mr. Fraser?" 

 "I'm Ray Kowalski and this is Inspector Benton Fraser," Ray remarked,
taking her hand, then watching as she shook Fraser's. 

 She looked at Fraser and studied his uniform. "Is that Royal Canadian
Mounted Police?" she asked, obviously fascinated. 

 "Yes, ma'am," Fraser responded. "I'm in charge of the Canadian Consulate
here in Chicago." 

 "Interesting," she remarked under her breath, then took off her glasses.
"And you, Mr. Kowalski?" she asked. 

 Suddenly he felt high school rushing back. "Me?" he asked., then cleared
his throat when he caught his shy tone. 

 "Yes, you. What do you do?" 

 "Oh, I'm a professor at the University," he said. Damn, I can't get rid
of my teenage voice! he scolded himself. 

 She smiled. "Oh? What subject?" 

 He blinked. "Well, I teach law enforcement and criminal justice. I used
to be a detective for the Chicago PD." 

 She nodded slowly, taking it all in. "I see," she said, then looked back
and forth between them. "I haven't seen you at the parent - teacher
conferences," she observed. 

 "No," Ray said, but didn't want to explain so he cleared his throat. "We
missed them, but we'll be at the next one." 

 She half smiled, her eyes lighting up automatically. "Good," she said.
The sound of her soft shoes slid across the floor as she went back behind
her desk and put on her glasses. She waved them to sit and as they
scrunched their long legs into the desks, she sat. "Now, I've asked you
here to discuss Adam's last exam, however since my call to Mr. Kowalski on
Wednesday, a new concern has been added to my list." 

 Damn, these things are smaller than I remembered. "It has?" Ray asked
immediately. 

 She nodded. "He didn't attend my class today and when I checked in with
the attendance office, I learned mine was the only class he missed." 

 Ray looked shocked. Fraser felt shocked, but said nothing. "He sluffed?"
Ray asked. She nodded, then reached across her desk and fingered through a
pile of papers as he spoke. "What is going on with him? He's a good
kid..." 

 She pulled a piece of paper from the stack and held it across her desk.
Fraser half stood to reach it, then sat down and stared at it. "What's
this?" he asked. 

 "Adam's last exam," she said matter-of-factly. 

 Ray looked over to Fraser's desk and saw the beautifully rendered car on
the page rather than a single answer. Looking up at her, Ray was confused.
"That's his test?" 

 "He was apparently drawing rather than answering the questions," she
responded. 

 "Obviously," Ray said, then looked at Fraser. 

 Looking up, Fraser met her gaze. "It would appear he's trying to gain
some attention," Fraser remarked. 

 She nodded and Ray growled. "He's got it," he said, standing quickly. 

 "Mr. Kowalski," Mrs. Collins began. 

 Fraser interrupted, standing also. "Don't get upset, Ray. I believe if we
just sit him down and speak with him, we'll be able to find out what this
is all about." 

 "I'm done talking," Ray said to Fraser through gritted teeth. 

 "Ray," Fraser said, noticing Ray's temper was already making Collins
uncomfortable. Ray's nostrils flared as he turned and started to walk out.
Fraser followed. "Ray, we obviously haven't talked enough or we would
understand why he's doing this," Fraser was saying as they left the room. 

 In the hall, Ray stopped. He pointed a finger at Fraser. "No. If we're
his father, we're going to start acting like it. He screws up, plays hooky
and dinks around on a test and I'm going to hand out a worthy punishment,"
he snapped, then started walking again. 

 Fraser followed, finding himself pleading a case to the air as Ray
continued out, mumbling about grounding Adam. In the car, Ray was
aggressive as he started it and peeled into the street. 

 "Look, Fraze, I never thought I'd be the kind of parent to fly off the
handle because his kid sluffed or flunked, but I know Adam is capable of
much better. I see this kid with all this potential I didn't have and I'm
not going to let him throw it away." 

 "Confining him to the house for a week isn't going to motivate him,"
Fraser argued. 

 "Maybe, maybe not," Ray responded. "I'm grounding him anyway." Reaching
into his jacket, he tossed his phone onto the seat between them. "Call the
Consulate. Tell them you're not coming back yet. We're both going home and
as soon as we see Adam, we'll both tell him." 

 "I won't tell him. I disagree with your methods, Ray. I'd like to try
talking to him first," Fraser argued. 

 "Talk your balls off, Fraser, it's not going to make any difference. I
know. I was a punk like him in high school. Punks like that require more
than a few words." 

 Fraser let out a frustrated sigh and picked up the phone.  Dropping his
backpack almost the instant he was through the door, Adam looked up and
saw the look on Ray's face. Fraser didn't appear upset, but Ray was
threatening. "Hey," he said, checking the level of tension. 

 Ray scowled. "You want to tell us why you're sluffing school and trying
to fuck up your chances at a good college?" he heard himself say, but they
were words written by his own father. 

 "Huh?" Adam asked, still trying to get his bearings. 

 Fraser took a calm step forward. "We spoke with Mrs. Collins today. She
alerted us to your truancy and was concerned about why you drew a
perfectly nice, but inappropriate picture on your last math exam." 

 Adam shrugged. 

 "No answer?" Ray sneered. "Well, that's why we're grounding you for a
week. Maybe by Friday you'll come up with an answer." 

 "Ray," Fraser reprimanded. 

 Ray snarled. "Don't do that, Fraser. It's discipline," he explained. 

 Fraser shook his head at Adam. "We just want you to explain. We'd just
like to give you the chance to tell us why you are acting out in this
manner." 

 Adam shook his head and turned toward his bedroom. 

 Ray snapped, then. He took a quick step forward and grabbed Adam's arm.
"Hey, don't brush us off! You'll stop this behaviour or we'll ground you
for a month." 

 Adam turned, looking angry. "Do what you want! Why should anything
change?" 

 "What?" Ray snapped. 

 Adam jerked his arm away. "You two haven't changed a thing in your lives
to let me in. You think I can live here all these months and you treat me
like a pet goldfish and now - NOW - you get to act like parents? Forget
it!" 

 "Adam," Fraser said calmly. "What are you talking about?" 

 "You! Both of you! I didn't just lose my mom, I lost my best friend! Mom
was the best friend I ever had 'cause I didn't fit in anywhere, so when
she died, I had no one, but I thought, I hoped... Look, I wasn't expecting
you guys to take her place, to be my best friends, but I wanted to feel
like I belonged here! I want some sign that you want me here and that you
didn't just take me because you feel like Mom dumped me on you!" 

 "Oh, Adam," Fraser said soothingly. "We like having you here. We're glad
that you came and that we know about you and that we have the chance to
learn about you," he explained. 

 Ray took a breath, relaxing himself. He ran his hand through his hair.
"Yeah, kid. We just aren't used to the idea." 

 "You think I'm used to it?" Adam snapped. "I don't know how anyone could
get used to the idea of this, but at least I was willing to try." 

 "We want to try, Adam," Fraser said. "Apparently we did it badly, but
that's no reason. We told you to come talk to us. Why didn't you?" 

 "Because Mom always came and talked to me," he replied. "Mom always knew
when something was wrong and she let me share it with her. She shared her
life with me. You haven't shared anything," he said, then went into his
room and slammed the door. 

 Fraser immediately stepped to the door and knocked. Adam didn't answer so
he knocked again. Still he was met with silence so he opened it slowly.
"I'm sorry, Adam," Fraser said as Ray came up behind him. "We had no
idea." 

 Adam looked at them both in the doorway and shrugged. "I guess I just
wanted to know if what I did made a difference to you." 

 "It does," Ray said. "Believe it or not, we care about what you do, Adam.
We care about what's bothering you." 

 "Yes," Fraser agreed. "You can tell us those things as well and we'll
always do our best to help." He waited, seeing that Adam still looked
frustrated. "Is there something you want to talk about?" 

 "I just..." he glared at them both. "I just don't know how I'm supposed
to understand myself when I don't understand you," he said, venom still
dripping from his tones. 

 Ray stepped up. "Look, this is hard for us all. Fraser and I have been
living behind closed doors for so long that we don't know how to let
someone in. I mean, our friends know, but they don't want us talking about
it. We just figured you didn't want us talking about anything either. This
is what we're used to." 

 "Well, stop!" Adam snapped. "I mean, you don't have to hide things from
me. I want to know or I wouldn't ask. I want to know what I'm dealing with
because I'm just not used to hiding. Mom didn't hide and she didn't let
me. I think she was right in not doing it, so why should I expect it to be
ok for you guys to do it just because that's what you're used to?" 

 "Come on, Adam," Ray said angrily. "You can't expect us to change
overnight. This all takes some work!" he said, then started to cough. 

 Fraser turned to him. "Are you all right?" 

 Ray waved the question away with his hand. "Look Adam," he went on. "If
we're going to be the parents, then we get to be in charge, ok? You follow
the rules." 

 Adam looked upset as he folded his arms. "Isn't this my space? I mean, I
at least get my own room, don't I?" he sneered. 

 Fraser nodded and stepped backward, effectively forcing Ray from the room
when he took his arm. "You're right." 

 "Then leave me alone," he grunted. 

 Ray looked annoyed as Fraser closed the door. "You can't let him get off
like that. We're still mad." 

 "You're still mad, Ray," Fraser said. "So is he. Give each other some
time and space and we'll all be able to talk about this rationally, all
right?" 

 Ray stared a moment, then grunted, walking away irritated. 

 ******Part 12
 Fraser sat behind his desk in the quiet Consulate and stared at the
clock. It was late Thursday, but he was anxious for the weekend. It had
been a long week of Adam barely talking to either him or Ray, but he hoped
the extra hours this weekend would give them ample time to work things
out. He hoped working late tonight would give him more time tomorrow, but
as the phone rang, he wondered how many times he would be interrupted. 

 "Canadian Consulate," Fraser greeted wearily. 

 "I'm looking for an Inspector Fraser," the deep, gruff voice said. 

 "This is he," Fraser responded. "May I help you?" 

 "This is officer Melnick of the Chicago PD. We've picked up a boy who
says you're his father, though the last names don't match." Fraser sat
stunned, listening. "Do you know an Adam Flay?" 

 "Yes," Fraser said. "I am Adam's legal guardian," he added, then closed
his eyes. What could be wrong? Why was he there? 

 "Well, sir, he claims that he has diplomatic immunity because of your
position," he explained. 

 "Diplomatic immunity?" Fraser asked, shocked by the lie, but more curious
as to why Adam would tell it. "Why would he need it?" 

 "We picked him up for possession with intent to sell." 

 "Possession!?" Fraser asked, standing and throwing his paperwork aside as
he grabbed his jacket. 

 "He was in a car with some kids who were drunk and he had a large amount
of marijuana in his possession." 

 "Marijuana!?" Fraser repeated. "Has he been drinking, also?" he thought
to ask. 

 "Yes, sir," Melnick replied. "His BAC came in at .08%." 

 Fraser shook his head in disbelief. "I'll be right there," he said, then
pressed his finger on the button to hang up the phone briefly before
dialing again. At home, the phone rang continuously without the
interruption of an answer until the voice mail picked up.  Ray unlocked
the front door and dropped his keys on the table before bringing his hand
up to cover his mouth from the coughing. He lazily dropped his bag on the
couch and stumbled into the bedroom. Fraser had mentioned working late so
he gave little thought to the quiet apartment as he changed and climbed
into bed, exhausted. 

 He was asleep when the phone began to ring, completely oblivious to who
was calling.  "What!?" Ray snapped angrily at the news he'd just heard,
the greeting he got when he woke the next morning. 

 "I was able to bail him out, but he told them he had diplomatic immunity
so they couldn't arrest him," Fraser continued to explain. 

 "So he was half drunk, had marijuana in his pockets, and he thought that
was going to get him off?" Ray growled. "Lying on top of everything?" He
paused, pacing the room. "Look, Fraser, I'm tired of Mr. Nice Guy. Can we
ground him until graduation now?" 

 "The charges are very serious. We may not be able to ground him," Fraser
pointed out. 

 Ray scoffed. "Well, you and I have enough connections to get him off and
I'm telling you, he's nuts if he thinks I won't smack him for this!" He
stormed from the room and knocked on Adam's door. 

 Adam stood in the room, hugging himself. He'd heard the threat and wasn't
sure whether to even answer. In the time he debated, Ray grew impatient
and threw the door open. Fraser stepped up behind Ray just as the door
swung back against the wall, but Ray had three steps into the room. 

 "What the hell do you think you're doing? We're trying to play nice with
you and you repay us by getting drunk and high? How stupid do you think
that was? You know we know people down there at the division. You get
caught, they string you up by the toes!" 

 "Ray," Fraser snapped. Ray turned, coughing and Fraser put his hand on
his back. "Ray?" he asked, the tone in his voice changing completely. 

 "I'm fine," he sneered, pulling away, but as he pointed his finger at
Adam, he found himself coughing again. 

 Adam felt himself suddenly concerned at the way Fraser was treating Ray.
"I'm calling the doctor," Fraser said, forgetting the other situation
altogether. 

 "No," Ray said, then leaned over, coughing harder. Fraser pushed him out
of the room, down the hall, and into their own room. 

 Adam found himself following. "Is everything ok?" he asked. 

 Fraser looked up and nodded while he sat the coughing Ray on the bed. 

 "I just need water," Ray said, gasping for air. 

 Adam disappeared into the kitchen, but Fraser was already on the phone.
"Come on, Fraze. Don't call. I'm fine. Nothing's wrong." He swallowed hard
and grabbed at his throat. 

 Hanging up a few moments later, Fraser turned to watch Adam pass Ray a
glass of water. "It's just a cold. I've been congested. Now it's a cough,"
Ray explained calmly, then drank the water. Standing, Ray looked at Adam a
moment. "We'll discuss this more when I get home." 

 Fraser stood and followed Ray to the living room. "Ray, maybe you should
stay home and rest. The doctor had an unexpected opening this afternoon." 

 "I've got classes all day," Ray explained. "Exams. I have to be there." 

 "Have someone else give them," Fraser pushed. "You should rest." 

 "I'm fine," Ray snapped, adding a punch to it by snatching his bag off
the ground. "I don't need you to tell me when something's wrong, ok? Leave
me alone!" At that, he was out the door. 

 Fraser ran his thumbnail along his brow as he turned around, almost
bumping into Adam. Adam took in a quick breath. "What's wrong?" 

 Considering a moment, Fraser looked at him. "Get ready for school," he
said softly. "We'll talk about it later." 

 "It's always later," Adam said snidely. 

 Fraser's eyes narrowed and Adam realized this calm man could get angry
after all. "Later," he repeated. "Get ready for school. I'll drive you." 

 Adam moved into his bedroom. He knew Fraser had a car, but had noticed he
rarely drove it. Typically, he walked to and from work unless Ray got the
urge to pick him up. He wasn't sure what the car was for, but Fraser was
going to use it now so he put his books in his pack and came back out. 

 ******Part 13
 Adam sat at the dining table doing homework when he heard the door open.
Ray came through first, tossing a white paper bag with the pharmacist's
information printed on it to the kitchen counter as he passed. His sour
expression told Adam not to say anything, but there wasn't much need as
Ray only glanced at him before taking his pursed lips and foul mood into
the bedroom where he closed the door. 

 Fraser walked to the table, looking over Adam's open text book before
meeting Adam's gaze. He could see that Adam was waiting for some sort of
explanation. "It was just a cold, but the doctor gave him some cough syrup
with codeine to ease the pain and coughing, plus a sleeping aid and a mild
decongestant." He paused, pulling out a chair and sitting across from
Adam. "He also gave him an antibiotic. If he needs anything and I'm not
here..." 

 "I'll take care of it," Adam offered immediately. "So, he's ok, then?" 

 Tugging at his ear, Fraser added a nod. "We need to talk about you. You
have a court date on the fifth and I'm quite certain the repercussions of
your actions will be severe." 

 Adam nodded. "It wasn't mine," he said quietly. "I mean, of course not.
You figured I'd say that." He paused. "Well, it wasn't. Keith handed it to
me right when we got pulled over and..." he looked at the table. "Well, I
could have tried to give it back, but I guess I was thinking it didn't
matter." 

 Fraser let out breath. "It does matter. Ray has a short temper, but
believe me when I tell you he wouldn't be upset if he didn't care." 

 Adam shrugged. 

 "Adam, we have to figure out what's going on here. I understand you are
confused by us, by this situation. We're not like your mother and I
suppose we don't treat you like she did." 

 Adam nodded. "I always felt like I mattered to her because if I was
upset, she had a long talk with me. If she had a bad day, she'd tell me
everything. Sometimes she said she was afraid she was treating me more
like a friend than a son, but that's why I loved her. She let me listen to
her and she listened to me, but I still got punished for getting into
trouble." 

 "Then perhaps I should have let Ray ground you on Monday?" Fraser
solicited. 

 Adam shrugged again. "Well, maybe, but grounding and talking. I wanted
you guys to talk to me." 

 "We tried, Adam." 

 He nodded. "And I realized last night while I was sitting in jail that I
shouldn't have expected your talking to be exactly like what I'm used to."
He looked at Fraser. "I'm sorry I screwed up." 

 "Maybe you need to show us how you want to communicate. Perhaps we just
need to learn." Fraser smiled and Adam did also. 

 "What about the rings?" he asked. 

 Fraser looked at his hand. "This?" 

 "Yeah. I mean, I wanted to know and you didn't tell me and I think that's
when I first started to notice that you were holding back." 

 Fraser looked at the ring a moment, then at Adam. "There's a reason for
that," he responded. Adam looked quizzical so Fraser took in a breath. "He
and I decided it would always be between just the two of us - that part of
it was sharing it only with each other." He paused. "I'd tell you now
except I couldn't do it without Ray." 

 Adam looked disappointed. "So you're still not going to tell me
anything," he commented. 

 A coughing came from the bedroom and they both turned to look at the
door. Waiting a moment after it stopped, they then faced each other again.
Fraser took in another deep breath and straightened his spine. 

 "Ray and I were helping a couple of our friends - well, you've met Jack."
Adam nodded. "We were assisting them on a drug operation, nearing the
center of a ring that imported large amounts of cocaine from Mexico. 

 "We entered the house and somehow a man escaped our attention just long
enough to come up on Ray. He thrust a knife into him hard enough to
penetrate the Kevlar vest he wore, breaking two ribs. 

 "When we got to the hospital, things appeared all right - a fairly simple
stab wound that avoided major organs, however just as they were wheeling
him into the trauma room, he stopped breathing. The emergency crew and
nurses to whom they had just passed him were still confused when they
disappeared behind those doors." Fraser paused, now avoiding eye contact
as his voice got slightly shaky. "It gave me no comfort to see the amount
of blood on my hands and uniform." He was quiet as he shook the image from
his mind. 

 "Anyway, it turned out that while it initially appeared as though the
blade had missed his lung, it had in fact pierced through the lining and
slightly into the lower end on his left side. His lung collapsed and even
by reinflating it, there were complications. It required more surgery when
the lung collapsed two more times over the next week." 

 "So when he coughs, you think the worst?" 

 Fraser looked into Adam's eyes and nodded slowly. "He sometimes has
trouble breathing and we were warned that a simple chest cold can become
something much worse." He was pensive for several moments before he spoke
again. "When my mother died, I was very young. I don't think I completely
understood the loss I should have known. 

 "My grandparents died when I was a young adult. I knew they were older so
it was somewhat expected, but on top of that, I knew I was supposed to be
strong. I pushed it away and didn't let it affect me. 

 "Of course, by the time my father died, we were so alienated that I felt
justice served in place of missing him. Over the years, I've had partners
in perilous danger and even badly injured. It was hard and even when Ray
had been in a position to warrant my concern, it didn't seem necessary,
yet this was his first injury since we..." he paused, wondering exactly
what he could say to the impressionable young man. "It was the first time
I actually thought my life would change for the worst if he was gone." 

 Adam waited patiently, seeing that Fraser was deep in thought. "I
remember the moment at the hospital when they said he'd stopped breathing.
They were confused and I knew that if they couldn't figure out why he'd
stopped, they well might not get him to start again. I thought of the time
we'd wasted, how much I loved him, and how much I would miss him. I found
myself wanting him to live for me, as selfish as that was and is. I'd
never wanted something like this for me before, but I did. I could only
think of the things I'd be without." 

 "So is that when you knew you loved him?" 

 Fraser pondered a moment. "No. I knew - we both knew long before that. It
just reminded me once again not to take what we have for granted." 

 "Again?" 

 Letting out a breath, Fraser found himself fidgeting. "Your mother," he
said softly, looking at his hands as he stopped them and placed them on
the table. "I think she helped us. Her leaving us made us hold tighter to
each other. We knew she was going, but she left so quickly. She was the
first person who knew about us and she loved us anyway." He paused. "And
maybe I was prepared to ask her to stay." 

 "Do you think you'd have found the courage to ask her if she'd been there
that night?" he asked, guessing immediately what was behind Fraser's
hesitancy. 

 Fraser pondered. "I think I may have found the courage to ask Ray." 

 "Ray wouldn't have liked it," Adam said suddenly. 

 Fraser looked at him, confused. 

 "I heard you two talking a couple months ago. I heard you say you wished
you'd seen her again, but I heard Ray..." 

 "Ray hasn't said anything to the contrary." 

 "Maybe not, but he didn't answer you and you thought he was upset," Adam
pointed out. 

 "I wouldn't read into Ray's reactions. He's very complex." 

 Adam scoffed. "All right, so what would life have been if you'd asked
her? I mean, what happens to everyone after a gay couple gets some woman
to stay in Chicago? It doesn't work." 

 "I know," Fraser relented. "I just didn't want her to go." 

 Adam stared at the table, lost in thoughts. The silence wasn't broken
until he started to collect his books. Gathering them in his arms, he
stood. "So, Ray's going to be all right?" 

 Fraser nodded, then noticed the slight smile from Adam before the boy
turned and took his things to his room.  Adam heard the coughing start
from the neighbouring room again. He'd just gotten ready for bed and
looking out at the darkness he furrowed his brow, listening. The coughing
moved from the bedroom to the living room. It continued into the kitchen ,
then moved to the dining table. 

 Listening, the coughing quieted, then he heard Fraser's voice, though he
couldn't make out the words. 

 Ray's words he heard with perfect clarity. 

 "Dammit, Fraze. Nothing's wrong. The doctor confirmed that there was
nothing wrong. It's my body and I know if something is wrong so you just
leave me alone and I'll know when something's wrong, then I'll tell you
that something is wrong, but until then, you leave me alone until I say
something is wrong, got it!?" 

 Another mumble from Fraser, then Ray started again. "I don't want you to
ask me when something's wrong, clear? I will tell you that something is
wrong because I'll know. It's not that complicated." 

 "Ray," Fraser said, raising his voice now. "I'm just suggesting you take
this because it will help you sleep." 

 "I can't sleep right now. I've got to grade the exams before Monday and
that's not going to happen if I don't get started on them tonight.
Besides, I slept plenty yesterday." 

 Adam got out of his bed and moved toward the door, opening it a crack. A
bottle of prescription cough syrup sat beside a stack of booklets with
blue covers. Ray was leaning over one bluebook at the dining table while
Fraser stood over him. "I'll help you grade them tomorrow so that you can
rest now." 

 Ray rubbed his temples. "I'm not tired." 

 "That's why I want you to take these," Fraser insisted, holding out a
bottle of pills. 

 Adam stepped out. "I can help too," he offered. 

 Ray and Fraser both snapped to Adam's attention. They were speechless a
moment until Adam took a few more steps forward. 

 "I didn't mean to wake you," Ray said softly. 

 "I wasn't asleep yet." Adam paused. "I can help you with those, maybe. I
mean, if I can do anything to help..." 

 Ray held up a hand and shook his head. "You don't have to," he said. 

 "I want to," Adam insisted. 

 Looking surprised, Ray closed the book in front of him. "There is a
multiple choice section you could do, but I really should read the essays
myself." He glanced at Fraser.. "So there's some things you can't do." 

 "Yeah, but if you let us help with the stuff we can, then you could get
more rest." 

 Ray smiled slightly. "You too, huh?" He looked at the pile of books and
shook his head, sighing deeply. "All right," he relented. "All right. The
syrup's made me stop coughing long enough I might actually be able to
sleep." 

 "I thought you weren't tired," Fraser said, holding out the pills. 

 Ray took the bottle. "I lied. I'm exhausted, but I couldn't sleep with
all this gunk in my chest." He set the bottle on the table and turned back
to the kitchen. "I'll take one of those decongestants and come to bed." 

 Fraser looked at Adam and nodded his thanks, then went to the bedroom.
Adam went to his own room, closing the door just as he saw Ray pass from
the kitchen toward the bedroom. 

 ******Part 14
 "Thanks for the help," Ray said as he pushed a pile of little books with
blue covers toward Adam. "Fraser's going to bring back dinner so maybe you
can get started on these." 

 Adam watched Ray drink from the bottle of cough syrup, just a sip, but
without measuring. "Where did Benton go?" 

 "He had to take care of something at the Consulate. Made me promise not
to kill you for your little stunt," Ray commented, putting on his black
rimmed glasses. 

 Adam looked away. "I'm sorry," he apologize immediately. 

 Ray reached over and tapped him playfully. "I'm just kidding." He saw
Adam look relieved, then smiled. "But don't do anything like that again." 

 "I won't." 

 "Good. Now, they're each worth a point so just add up the errors when
you're done, ok?" he said, getting back on the subject. 

 Adam started comparing the tests to the answer sheet, marking
occasionally as he went, adding errors, setting the books aside. He'd
finished a quarter of them before he heard Ray coughing. He looked up and
noticed Ray's hand over his lower abdomen. "Does it still hurt?" he asked.


 Once the fit had subsided, Ray met his gaze. "Does what?" 

 "The wound," he said. "Fraser told me... does it still hurt?" 

 Ray shook his head, immediately moving his hand. "It's been years," he
commented. "I forget about it most of the time." 

 Adam tilted his head. "But what about now? Do you think about it now?" 

 Ray furrowed his brow. He wasn't about to admit there was a tight feeling
in his chest and a bruised sensation just above his scar. Still, Fraser
was able to see through his lies. Could Adam? "It happened a long time
ago." He paused. "Fraser worries." 

 "Should he?" 

 "No," Ray responded. "I know when something's wrong and I think it's my
place to say when that is. I had a mom. Didn't like to listen to her
either." He added a grin to the end. 

 Adam returned it. "I want you to know that I didn't mean to do what I
did. I was just around everyone and thinking that they were paying more
attention to me than..." he stopped himself and sighed. "Well, I really
want you to know that I'll go to the hearing and plead guilty and take
whatever punishment they have, ok? I deserve whatever I get." 

 Ray looked at him a moment. "You do," he said, a certain firmness in his
voice. "But you're right. We haven't made it easy. I don't think we could,
though. You realize we don't mean to leave you out, right? I mean, Fraser
and I both liked the idea of having a son, but it's a lot harder than I
thought." Adam looked distractedly at the pen in his hand, fidgeting until
Ray started again. "Kiana did a great job raising you. I can tell there's
a good kid in there. You are that great kid, even if you did something I
don't approve of. You can do any action, but it won't change who you are.
You can never change that person underneath." 

 Adam nodded. He took the words in, absorbed them before moving on. "My
mom was a special person." 

 "I know." 

 "Do you?" Adam asked quickly. 

 Ray looked puzzled. "Of course I do." Adam sighed so Ray pushed for more.
"Maybe I didn't know her as well as you, but I knew she was special." 

 "Sure," Adam responded noncommittally. 

 Ray dropped his pen and removed his glasses, setting them on the table.
"Adam," he said, forcing the words into the boy. "Kiana was incredible." 

 Adam lifted his eyes. "Then why didn't you want to see her again?"
Looking confused, Ray waited for the young man to explain. "I overheard
you and Benton talking. I know he wanted to see her again, but you
didn't." 

 Ray pondered. "I don't remember saying that, and I don't know why I
would." 

 "You didn't answer him when he said he wanted to. I heard him apologize
so you must have been upset." 

 Ray let out a breath, finally remembering the conversation. "You don't
understand, Adam." 

 "I don't understand what?" 

 Pursing his lips, Ray shifted. He rubbed at his forehead as he spoke. "I
didn't..... I don't..... Fraser said....." he stumbled, but couldn't find
the words. He finally cleared his throat. "I'm sorry you thought that I
didn't love her, Adam." He looked distracted as he continued. "Maybe it's
different than how I feel about Fraser, but maybe it's not completely
different. I didn't want to see her again because - because Fraser said he
wanted to see her again, just once more. I knew that if I wanted her back
in our lives that it would have to be for good. I couldn't say goodbye
again. I can't say it anymore." He met Adam's stunned gaze. "I'm tired of
losing people, Adam. Fraser's self-confident and he can get over it when
someone walks away, when someone dies. Just like you and just like her. I
don't take it so well." 

 Ray took a deep breath, cleansing himself to find more words. "Since we
heard about her..... since we found out about you it's been - this has all
been eating me up inside. I don't think you'll ever understand what it's
like to need people this bad, Adam. I just..... I just needed her." 

 Adam didn't know what to say. He could see the way Ray was letting out
the raw feelings, talking candidly, but he had no response. He finally
managed, "I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't know." 

 Ray sniffed and pointed to the bluebooks. "Let's get back to these before
it gets too late. I promised my students they could check their grades on
Monday, but after the tests, I still have to figure in their midterms so
we've got to get on it." 

 Adam nodded and took the next book from the pile. He continued to stare
at Ray. It was several moments before Ray was willing to acknowledge
Adam's gaze. Finally, he took his glasses back off, raising his eyebrows. 

 "Why didn't you tell Fraser that?" Adam asked at last. 

 Ray nodded slowly, understanding why he was getting such a look. "Fraser
doesn't understand either." 

 "You haven't told him?" 

 *'Tell him what? Tell him that the simple act of bumping into me as he
passes me in the doorway is enough to make my body long for his touch?
Tell him that my heart still races at the thought of him even after all
these years? Tell him that I'm needy? He must know that much already. The
way I felt for Kiana wasn't the same. It was need.'* Ray sighed. "I don't
think he could understand," Ray said softly. "Can we get back to work?" 

 "I think you should tell him what you told me," Adam pushed. 

 Ray chuckled, shaking his head and looking less than amused. "I think we
should get back to work," he pressed. "Come on." 

 "You can't expect him to understand if you don't tell him." 

 Ray looked frustrated. "Stay out of it, Adam." 

 "No. If I'm going to be here like part of a family, I'm going to say what
I think and I think you're keeping things from Fraser that you shouldn't
so you can play martyr when he doesn't get you." 

 "Adam," Ray sneered. 

 "Get mad. I don't care. No wonder you don't know how to talk to me. You
can't even figure out how to talk to the man you've been living with for
all these years - the man you're supposedly committed to loving." 

 Is this little know-it-all punk scolding me? How did we end up here? Ray
was speechless. 

 Adam flipped open the booklet in front of him fiercely. "No wonder," he
breathed as he looked into it. 

 Ray stared at him for several seconds. The door opened and he still
couldn't take his eyes off the boy. 15 years old and he was a hell of a
lot less nave than Ray had been at that age. 15 years old and he was
giving advice Ray knew he should take, but didn't want to take from a 15
year old. 

 "Hello," Fraser said as he looked over the view in the dining room. 

 Ray turned slowly. "Hi," he said. 

 Adam didn't look up. Fraser noticed that and tilted his head. "Something
wrong?" 

 Turning to glance at Adam, Ray turned back to Fraser. "No," he said. 

 Adam looked up then and stared at Ray. "Yes," he said coldly. 

 He couldn't stop himself from looking at Adam again, but Ray found
himself surprised by the young man. He stood. "No," he repeated. "Except I
think after dinner you and I might want to go for a walk." He looked at
Adam again as though awaiting approval from his mother. When Adam smiled
ever so slightly, Ray turned back to follow Fraser into the kitchen.
"What'd you get for dinner?" 

 "I stopped at the deli," Fraser responded as he set down the bag he'd
been carrying and began to divide the sandwiches onto plates. Ray got a
spoon and divvied the potato salad. "What was that all about?" Fraser
asked. 

 Ray sighed. "I think the kid's smarter than me," Ray said, defeated.
"We'll talk about it after dinner. Right now I'm feeling halfway decent
and just want to eat a good dinner." 

 Fraser took out a large Styrofoam container on the counter. "I picked up
some soup if you want. I thought it might be easier on your throat." 

 Ray smiled. "Thanks, Fraze. The sandwich sounds good, but I'll save this
for later," he commented as he moved the container into the fridge. 

 ******Part 15
 Taking Fraser's hand in his own once they left the building, Ray jumped
right into the conversation he'd called Fraser out here to have. "You know
I need you, right? I mean, you know I'm with you because I need you." 

 Fraser wondered what was coming, but he only paused a moment before
answering in a puzzled tone. "Yes." 

 "I mean, you know that I'm here because I want it, that we've been
together all this time because it's more than wanting. It's that I just
really need you in my life." 

 "Yes," Fraser repeated, still confused. 

 Ray let out a breath. "You know that no matter what, it's you I love." He
paused. "If I tell you that I need someone else, it doesn't mean I need
you any less or that I need this other person more." 

 Fraser stopped walking so that he could turn to take in the sight of Ray.
What's going on in that head of yours, Ray Kowalski? 

 Not allowing Fraser to take his hand away, Ray stood facing him, holding
that hand tightly. "I have thought about Kiana. I did wish she came back,"
he admitted. Fraser furrowed his brow and Ray looked into the sky, seeking
divine guidance. He let out all the air in his lungs and took in another
breath. "I just didn't want to say goodbye to her again." He lowered his
eyes to meet Fraser's. "I love you and I need you, but I loved her, too." 

 "I know," Fraser said simply. 

 "You do?" Ray asked, surprised. 

 "Yes, Ray," Fraser stated as thought he thought Ray knew that Fraser had
always been aware. 

 "You never said anything." 

 "Did I have to?" Fraser asked. 

 Ray smiled and took a step closer to Fraser. "The thing is that I've
spent my whole life trying not to sound pathetic. I've tiptoed around
things because I don't want you to think I'm that needy." Fraser took
Ray's other hand and held it. Ray looked down at their hands, then
chuckled. "I've been afraid to tell you that I - when you touch me, it
hurts deep down with desire. Is that strange? I mean, we should be
comfortable by now, but I still feel you so deep inside when I think of
you, whether we're together or apart. I don't think you can understand
what I'm saying. I just wanted you to know that you still affect me." 

 Fraser chuckled and Ray looked annoyed. "Oh, I spill my guts and you
laugh at me. That's great." 

 Suddenly sliding a hand away, Fraser put his hand on Ray's neck and
kissed him. He guided him to turn, pressing his body against the brick
wall of a closed store. Fraser's lips sucked Ray's upper lip a moment
before letting go. "I'm not laughing at you, Ray. I'm laughing because you
don't know." 

 "I don't know?" 

 "I feel that way, too, Ray. I thought you knew. I can't believe you
didn't know. You're not pathetic unless I'm pathetic too." He smiled and
as Ray smiled back, he pushed his lips against that beautiful smile,
closing his eyes as he wished he could suck Ray into him, show him all the
things they'd never said, but he knew. He wanted Ray to understand just
from that one kiss that he was needed more than Fraser needed anything in
the world. 

 Ray tugged at Fraser's shirt as he pulled away from the kiss. When he
found his voice, he was breathless. "We should stop. You'll catch my
cold." 

 Moving back in, Fraser let his lips touch Ray's, his hot breath entering
Ray's mouth. "I don't care," he whispered, then captured Ray's lips again.
 Ray leaned back and began to rub his eyes, the phone in his hand ringing.
Finally he heard an answer. "Captain Huey." 

 "Jack," Ray said, quickly identifying himself by voice. 

 "Hi, Ray. How are you?" Jack asked. 

 "I'm good," Ray said. "Just wanted to call and see how things are going
down there." 

 "They're good. When are you guys going to have another night of beer and
poker? It's been ages." 

 Ray chuckled. "Soon, I promise. Look, Jack. I actually have a reason for
calling." 

 "You saying that checking up on all of us over here was just a ruse?"
Jack asked in his teasing tone. 

 "Yeah," Ray snickered before clearing his throat and getting serious. "I
have to call in a favour." 

 "A favour, huh?" Jack queried. 

 "Yeah. See, Adam... well, he got arrested." 

 Jack laughed. "Adam?" 

 "Yes," Ray said. "You know me, Jack, I'd be laughing if it was funny." 

 "What do you mean?" 

 "He had a half bag of marijuana on him and he was drunk. It was enough to
slap him with intent to sell and I suppose the judge was having a bad day
because he's throwing the book at him." 

 "Sounds bad." 

 "He was arraigned yesterday morning. Look, Jack, Adam's a good kid.
You've met him." 

 "Good kids turn bad, Ray. You and I both know that kids who get off do it
again," Jack pointed out. 

 "Yeah, I know, but this is different." He paused. Every parent said that.
Sighing, he sat forward. "Ok, maybe it's not, but we know he did it to get
back at me and Fraze. We talked about it and worked it out. Over the past
couple of weeks he's been doing good in school again and he's not hanging
out with those kids anymore. He did it to piss us off and he did, but I
think he deserves a second chance." 

 Jack let out a breath. "So, what do you want from me? Find out who his
judge is going to be and try to pull some strings?" 

 "I hate to ask it, Jack." 

 "I know." 

 "Just see if you can get him a suspended sentence," Ray said. "That way
if he screws up again, he'll end up in juvy without question. I just want
a chance to deal with this myself first." 

 "All right," Jack said. "I'll see what I can do." 

 "Thanks." Ray hung up and leaned back again. He let out a loud breath
just as the door to his office opened. He smiled at Professor Croft, then
stood. 

 Croft stopped him. "I wanted to talk to you about the summer schedule." 

 Ray raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?" 

 "Well, I know you already have a class in this session and another in the
late session, right?" 

 "Two this, one the next." 

 Croft nodded. "Oh, all right. Well, I wondered if you could finish off my
Criminal Justice this half and I'll take yours for the last session." 

 Ray furrowed his brow. "Why?" 

 "My wife and I got a deal on a cruise, but we have to leave Monday." 

 Shrugging, Ray looked at his desk. "What time's the class?" 

 "Mondays and Wednesdays at 9:50 am. I wasn't sure if you'd want it since
your classes are Tuesday, Thursday." 

 Ray shrugged. "The two I have are, but I don't mind. If you're taking all
of my late summer class, then I can have my vacation early." 

 Croft smiled and nodded. "Sure. I'll do the whole thing." 

 "You talk to Dean Myers?" 

 Croft shook his head. "But I will. I switched with Phil last year and
Myers had no problems so I can't see why he would now." 

 "Let me know," Ray said, then looked at his watch. "Need to get to
class," he mumbled and left. 

 ******Part 16
 "How's your vacation time looking, Fraze?" Ray asked as he stepped
through the door. 

 Fraser frowned. "Not good. I haven't been able to reschedule that summit
meeting and..." 

 "Our worries are over. Croft wants to take my Law Enforcement for the
second summer session. In return, I'm taking his Criminal Justice this
half. If you can get the time, we can go early." 

 Fraser smiled. "Earlier would work perfectly," he said. "I believe
mid-July has a free schedule. Stephen doesn't mind?" 

 "He asked for it. He's taking his wife on a cruise." Ray moved beside
Fraser on the couch and sat down. "That means I get July and August all to
myself this year." He leaned sideways and kissed Fraser. 

 Touching Ray's leg, Fraser kissed back. Their lips clicked as they
separated. "Have you decided where we're going this year?" Fraser asked. 

 Ray smiled broadly. 

 "It is your turn," Fraser pointed out, looking sideways at the grin. 

 Ray chuckled. "Yes, it is. Wherever I pick, we have to go." 

 Fraser nodded nervously. "Where did you pick?" he asked, seeing the coy
grin not change in the slightest. 

 Tilting his head, Ray moved closer to Fraser, his thigh pressing against
Fraser's thigh. "The cabin." 

 "You never choose the cabin," Fraser said with furrowed brow. 

 "So it's about time I did." 

 Fraser smiled slightly. "I don't think we should." 

 "Why not?" 

 "You've been sick. Ray, it's quite cold up there and it wouldn't be good
for your lungs after your recent illness." 

 "It was a month ago, Fraser, and I don't see why not. I'm fine. Remember
we had this discussion? You don't get to tell me when something's wrong. I
know when something's wrong, so I'll tell you when something is wrong, ok?
Got it?" 

 "Got it," Fraser said, defeated. "But you never want to go. Why now?" 

 Ray snuggled in a little. "I thought we'd look at what it would take to
add on another room." 

 Fraser chuckled. "Ah! Some place for Adam." 

 "Exactly. We can set him up on the sofa this year, but it's not
comfortable. If he's going to be coming with us over the next couple years
he should have his own room." 

 "And he'll have freedom to join us or go by himself after he's 18." 

 "Yes. So I was thinking we should add it on at the back off that picture
window, but you're the architect." 

 "I'll think about it," Fraser responded, then took Ray's chin, bringing
his head up to kiss him hard. He sucked on those rough lips a moment
before Ray pulled away. 

 "Speaking of Adam..." 

 "Where is he?" Fraser asked. Ray nodded. "He went out with a girl." 

 "Another girl?" Ray asked. "He's a popular kid." 

 "I hate to say that I suspect his little stunt may have helped his social
life. She seemed like a nice girl, but when I went into the kitchen to
provide them with sodas I heard her ask him if I let him drink beer." 

 Ray chuckled. "Well, you'd be amazed what a bad boy image can do to a
girl." 

 Fraser nodded. "I'm afraid I don't want to know." 

 At that, Ray laughed and looked into Fraser's eyes. "You know, we've got
the house to ourselves. Maybe we shouldn't waste it talking about bad
boys." He paused. "Well, unless we're the bad boys in question," he added
slyly and grabbed Fraser's head, kissing him. 

 Fraser shifted up onto his knees and leaned over Ray, not breaking their
passionate kiss as he wrapped his hands around Ray's back to lay him on
the sofa. Grasping Ray's inner thigh, he lifted the leg onto the couch and
straddled it while pressing his tongue into Ray's mouth. Tickling the roof
of Ray's mouth, Ray made a sound. Fraser reluctantly moved his lips from
Ray's mouth, but immediately planted them on his chin. Ray's head dropped
back and he felt the smooth lips work slowly, suckling his neck. 

 Letting his tongue gradually push from his mouth, Fraser pressed it
against Ray's neck, licking him in small, firm movements from his windpipe
back to his ear. As soon as he reached the lobe, he pulled back his lips
to bear his teeth which he used to nip on the ear, holding it in place
while his tongue caressed the peach skin flesh. Moaning again, Ray held
Fraser, his hips bumping into Fraser involuntarily. His burning cock
begged for release from his pants, but with Fraser over him, Ray couldn't
move. 

 Swelling with desire, Fraser took in a deep breath, smelling Ray as he
concentrated on controlling himself. He didn't want to rush this time.
Pulling back, he stared into Ray's eyes, examining the flecks of colour
and the deep black of his pupils which were dilated in the dim room.
Slowly Fraser brought his hand along Ray's side and onto his abdomen,
running his fingers over Ray's chest. A moment later, he reached down to
Ray's waistband, the simple act of his hand being so close causing Ray's
hips to buck involuntarily again while Fraser tugged on his shirt until he
had the lower hem in his hand. Fraser traced warm fingers under the shirt
and all over Ray's smooth skin. Ray was breathing sensuously as he stared
back into the eyes that were still staring at him. 

 The hand ran over his chest and nipples, Ray taking in a sharp intake of
air and closing his as Fraser touched him just right. Slowly he opened his
eyes again to see that Fraser was now staring at his closed lips. Ray
licked them, moistening them slightly, then relaxed his jaw. Fraser stared
into the mouth as he moved his hand around over Ray's flesh. 

 Ray lifted his head in an attempt to kiss Fraser, but Fraser moved back.
Ray saw right through the tease, but his body was getting so hot, his
pants so confining, he was having trouble breathing. Taking his hands from
Fraser's body, Ray grabbed at his shirt and pulled it over his head,
throwing it to the floor. Fraser's eyes moved steadily down Ray's body,
his breathing getting deeper. Ray was unbuttoning Fraser's shirt a moment
later. Fraser kept running his fingers over Ray's abdomen as Ray undid his
shirt. He stopped only long enough to let Ray remove the sleeve, then
watched as the lighter fabric fell to the floor. 

 Distracted only a moment, Fraser turned back to Ray and this time when
Ray lifted his head, Fraser moved his hand behind Ray's head and held it
there while he thrust his tongue into Ray's mouth, pressed it against
Ray's tongue, before their lips even touched. Then the lips did touch and
Fraser sucked just enough to pull Ray's lip and tongue into his own mouth
where he could hold them gently between his teeth. 

 Fraser could feel the rock hard erection in Ray's pants, but it only
barely compared to the one in his own. As roomy as his pants were, they
were now cutting off circulation in a way that made him feel lightheaded -
a sensation that only added to the situation. 

 Ray could barely breathe with the kissing so passionate, the blood
rushing through his body. His heart swelled with his body's cravings, but
the pressure in his pants was becoming unbearable. Reaching down, he
quickly yanked at his belt, loosening it so that he could unbutton the
buttons. Jerking at his waistband, his body sighed when his cock was freed
from his boxer briefs. Fraser continued to kiss, aware of what Ray was
doing and feeling his body relax when he was released. It was less than an
instant later when Fraser felt Ray's fingers slip into his waistband,
tugging at them until he had freed Fraser as well. 

 Pushing his lips toward Fraser's cheek, Ray broke from their kiss and
clamped his teeth over Fraser's jaw. Fraser gasped, but it lasted only a
moment until Ray opened his mouth and began to tongue his neck just below
the jaw. Breathlessly, Fraser spoke into Ray's ear. "Perhaps we should
move into the bedroom." 

 Ray dropped back to the couch and nodded his agreement. Fraser stood
slowly, finding his legs weak. Once he was up, he looked at Ray who was
sitting. Taking his hand, he pulled him to his feet and the two walked to
the hall. 

 First in the bedroom, Fraser let go of Ray's hand, but as Ray stepped
through, he fiercely grabbed Fraser's sides, spun with him, and threw him
against the door. The weight of Fraser's body slamming against it sent a
bang into the silence while Ray worked quickly to push down his pants,
then grasp Fraser's waistband and pull them down past his hips, letting
them fall to the floor. Wrapping his arms around Fraser, he opened his
warm palms onto his abdomen. Feeling lips on his shoulder, Fraser braced
himself against the door. Ray's teeth dug into him and he moaned. 

 Fraser brought his left hand from the door and placed it over Ray's left
hand on his abdomen. Ray's right disappeared a moment before Fraser felt
it kneading his ass. Fraser switched hands, holding himself up against the
door with his left now, his right taking Ray's left and holding it. A few
seconds later, the hand on Fraser's buttock stopped rubbing it and he
could feel Ray positioning his firm dick against his hole. Ray held it
there a moment, slowly pressing until the tip slipped inside. As soon as
it did, he remained there while he brought his right hand back around
Fraser's body and put it over the hand that was holding Ray's left.
Feeling a gentle suck on the back of his neck, Fraser waited, the
sensation of that cock in him making him nuts. Ray gingerly pushed his
hips against Fraser, pushing in deeper, sweetly. Relaxing, he pulled out
slightly, then pushed in again. Fraser could feel the muscles in his hole
tighten, not letting Ray slip out anymore, only go deeper. Another thrust,
then Fraser took a step backward, bending slightly more at the hips while
Ray pushed in again. 

 Ray's breathing increased as he pushed in again, a little harder. They
held hands on Fraser's abdomen, Fraser still bracing himself on the door
with one hand as Ray thrust again, harder. As he relaxed, he felt Fraser
move his pelvis back, begging for more. Throwing his hips against Fraser,
he heard the man groan. Ray took a deeper breath, trying to catch his,
then drove into Fraser deeper. 

 Sighing, Fraser gripped Ray's hand even tighter, pushing back into the
warm body behind him. Ray forced himself deeper, ramming powerfully into
him. His skin was prickling with the waves of warmth overcoming him. Ray
felt the heat from Fraser's body mixing with the intensity of his own. His
heart was racing and as he shoved himself into Fraser harder, he felt
everything in his body begin to collect at his groin. The overpowering
sensation caught in his throat and he gasped loudly, then thrust again as
he breathed. "Oh fuck," he managed quietly, diving deeper into Fraser as
his cock twitched and convulsed. He could feel Fraser's hole pulsating
around him, fighting the pulsing in his shaft as it propelled the liquid
spewing from the tip. "Oh... fuck..." he breathed again, the orgasm
complete as he pushed in again and again until every last sensation was
finished. 

 Dropping back and pulling out very slowly, Ray stumbled a step and
grabbed Fraser to support himself. Fraser turned, taking Ray's hand and
watching the winded man as he guided him to the bed. Ray was still trying
to catch his breath as he grabbed Fraser's cock and squeezed. Fraser was
laying Ray back, moving beside him while Ray fondled him. Walking his
fingers down the shaft, Ray pressed deep into the base and rubbed firmly.
Fraser leaned over him and kissed Ray softly, almost friendly at first,
but soon he was pressing his mouth over Ray's. Ray jerked his head to the
side and gasped so Fraser began to lick and kiss Ray's neck, moving slowly
across his shoulder. 

 Ray moved his fingers to wrap around the shaft of Fraser's erect penis,
tugging and squeezing the member until Fraser stopped kissing, closing his
eyes and moaning softly into Ray's ear. Ray ran his thumb along the
underside of the shaft, then brought his hand to his mouth, licked his
fingers, and ran the moist appendages over Fraser's tip. Fraser shifted
against Ray and groaned, warning Ray so Ray put his hand back around the
cock and clamped tight, then loosened slightly as he tugged. 

 Taking a hard but shallow breath, Fraser licked his lips. There was
little moisture in his mouth so he was still dry and as the cool sweat on
his burning flesh increased, he squeezed his eyes shut more tightly. His
heart may have wanted to pound from his chest as his dick clenched one
last time before releasing cum, but his blood ran wild, making him dizzy.
He groaned loudly and fell against Ray, that hand still bringing him
ecstasy as Ray squeezed. 

 Fraser lay slightly over Ray's side and took in a deep breath. He watched
Ray as his breathing slowed, but he was still winded. Ray stared at the
ceiling, then closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. It helped, but it
still disturbed his lungs. Fraser had to fight back the urge to ask Ray if
he was all right. Of course he was. He always was and this certainly
wasn't the first time he'd gotten so winded, but Fraser was always
concerned. He sighed and looked at the clock. "I think I'll shower," he
informed Ray. 

 Ray grabbed Fraser and held him against him. "Just a few more minutes,"
he whispered. 

 Fraser smiled, kissed Ray on the cheek, then nodded. They lay there, not
saying anything as they simply enjoyed the closeness and intimacy of the
moment. Ray lost track of time, his mind lost on how much he cared for
Fraser, but soon drifting to work on classes, then an old case or two and
when he realized he was relaxing enough to fall asleep, he sighed and sat
up. Fraser followed the lead, sitting on the edge of the bed as he watched
Ray stand and grab some clothes. "You're showering with me, right?" Ray
asked. 

 Fraser smiled and stood. "Of course." 

 The two walked into the bathroom and Ray turned on the water while Fraser
got himself a fresh towel. Fraser climbed into the warm shower behind Ray
and wrapped his arms around him. Ray held mostly still as he felt Fraser
press his lips against the back of his neck a moment. He let the water run
down him, washing himself clean, then turning to face Fraser and pulling
him back until the water ran between them. 

 "So, what about the cabin?" Ray asked, smiling a little. 

 Fraser breathed in the warm vapors. "Yes we'll go and I think you're
right. Off the back would work beautifully." 

 "Good," Ray said with a smile and climbed out of the shower. 

 Fraser walked into the bedroom to find Ray in his RCMP sweatpants. Ray
still had old CPD lounge clothes, but seeing him wear his RCMP sweatpants
or shirt always made him warm. He smiled. 

 Ray let out a breath. "I know it's early, but I'm heading to bed. I feel
exhausted and I don't want to get sick again so..." 

 "Good idea. If you're tired, you should rest." He half smiled. "Didn't
mean to wear you out." 

 Ray chuckled. "Yes you did and you loved every minute." 

 Fraser laughed a little as he pulled on some pants and a shirt over his
head. He walked out of the bedroom and closed the door. 

 Deciding he still needed a few minutes to relax before trying sleep, Ray
sat in the bed. Putting on his glassed, he turned on the lamp and started
reading the book he'd left by the bed. 

 Fraser leaned over to pick up his shirt when Adam walked through the
door. He straightened and smiled. "Hello. How was your evening?" 

 "It was pretty good," Adam said, saying nothing as he watched Fraser pick
up the other shirt from the floor. 

 "Are you going out with her again?" 

 Adam nodded. "She actually asked me if we could go out on Friday." 

 Smiling, Fraser walked to the door of their bedroom, opened it, threw the
shirts inside, then closed it. 

 Ray could hear Adam come in and he chuckled to himself when he saw the
two shirts fly into the room. He went back to reading. 

 "Well, we haven't talked about what we're doing this summer," Fraser said
to Adam as he waved toward the kitchen table. "Can we talk about it?" 

 Adam nodded and sat. "Well, I thought you were working and Ray's
teaching." 

 "You said you weren't sure what you wanted to do." 

 "Well, I'm not. Do you want me to do something? Because there's an
advanced photography class being offered through the school and I was kind
of interested..." 

 "That's great, but you don't have to worry about providing an itinerary,
it's just that we talked about Ray and I taking you on a vacation before
school." 

 "Yeah?" 

 "We've moved it up. We'll go later this summer, if that's all right. Ray
wants to take you up to the cabin." 

 "The cabin?" 

 Fraser nodded. "It's on my father's land. He built it when my mother was
still alive, but unfortunately it burned down. Ray and I went up and
rebuilt it on the same land. We thought you might be interested in going
up there." He paused. "You don't have to go if you don't want to. I'm
certain our friends would be willing to help you out if there's an
emergency." 

 "No, I'd like to go," Adam said quickly. "I just didn't know you had a
cabin. In Canada, I'm guessing?" 

 "Northwest Territories. You can see snow on the ground all year 'round
and there's never a need for air conditioning," Fraser mused dreamily as
he waved toward the thermostat on the wall. 

 "I miss Canada," Adam said quietly, smiling at Fraser's moment of
fantasizing about snow and mountains. 

 ******Part 17
 Fraser closed his eyes and took in a deep breath as Ray began to chuckle.
Adam shrugged of his backpack and started to unload the sled. "What?" he
asked. 

 Looking to Adam, Ray came over to give him a hand. "He does that every
time we hit this place. Memorizing it for when he's back in Chicago, he
says." 

 Fraser turned to the two and smiled. "Well, I am. I have to refresh my
memory so that I won't forget." 

 Adam took in a breath of the air and smiled. "It smells like real pine." 

 "Yes," Fraser confirmed. 

 "A huge air freshener," Ray joked. 

 Adam smiled and smelled again. "Only much better. I think those air
fresheners will always smell fake now." 

 "They will," Ray and Fraser said in unison. Fraser picked up an armload
of things and headed inside the cabin. 

 Ray was followed by Adam who took everything slowly, learning the layout
as he stepped onto the porch, then inside the place. There, he looked
around, surveying what was there. He saw lamps and furrowed his brow.
"Electricity?" he asked. 

 "Generator," Fraser responded simply. 

 "Yeah, I made him buy the best money could get after the first year up
here. We have lanterns and stuff in the closet, plus we brought oil, but
sometimes I want something a little less rugged." 

 "Ray is a fluff," Fraser explained more briefly, smiling. 

 "Hey," Ray scolded, pointing at Fraser. "I didn't teach you that so you
could make fun of me," he added. 

 Adam chuckled. 

 Pointing across the room, Fraser looked at Adam. "The corner there near
the fireplace will be warm as long as we have a fire going. You could
sleep there." 

 "Thanks," Adam said. "I'll just set my sleeping bag here," he commented
as he put the roll beside the old sofa. 

 They worked together to unload the sled, then Fraser went to feed the
dogs. Ray started a fire in the fireplace, then went out to give Fraser a
hand. Adam suspected it may not have been a hand with the dogs since they
didn't return for an hour and when they did, they were flushed, even
though the fire was only just warming up the cabin. 

 By then it was late, though, and everyone turned in. 

 In the morning, Adam was the first awake. He sat at the small wooden
table and put film in the camera he had brought. He'd taken the advanced
photography class and managed to learn one or two new tricks he wanted to
try. 

 Still fiddling with the settings when Ray came out of the bedroom, he
watched Ray yawn and rub at his head. "Coffee?" 

 "Uh, I didn't think to make any," Adam said. 

 "That's ok. I'm asking if you want some," Ray responded. "You're up
damned early." 

 Adam smiled. "Oh. I guess it's the fresh air or something." 

 Ray chuckled. "Fresh air makes Fraze sleep like a baby." He shuddered.
"Cold today," he observed as he moved into the kitchen area and took out a
can of instant coffee from one of the boxes. He opened it and sniffed it
before putting some in a mug. "Going to take some pictures today?" he
asked as he filled the teapot with water and set it on the stove. Working
to light it, Adam watched him struggle with a couple matches before
getting the fire lit. 

 "I was thinking about it," Adam responded when Ray sat down across from
him. 

 "Good. We could use some good shots of the cabin. Might make Fraser less
homesick." 

 Adam nodded, then set the camera down. "Why do you live in Chicago
instead of Canada? I mean, I'm assuming you guys could live here and
Fraser could work out a the outpost. That's what his father did, right?" 

 Ray shrugged. "I've told him I'll move. I suspect he has started to think
of Chicago as more of a home than he's willing to admit." 

 "You'd live here?" 

 "Sure," Ray replied. "Not much pinning me to Chicago after I retired from
the force, you know." He sighed. "Maybe it seems like I'm committed to my
job now, but I'd give up teaching. I didn't think I wanted to be a cop,
but Fraser made me realize that even if I went into it for the wrong
reasons, I became a cop inside and out. So, when I had to leave, I knew
anything else was just a way to kill time." 

 "Oh," Adam responded. 

 The teapot slowly began to build toward a screech. Ray jumped to his feet
and removed it from the heat before it had a chance to get very loud, then
he poured the hot liquid into his mug. He sat back at the table, mug now
in hand, and sipped at it. "I've finished three of your mom's books now,"
Ray said. 

 Adam looked at him. "You did?" 

 He nodded. "They're really good. Deep. She has a way with words." 

 "Yes," Adam agreed. "She put a lot of herself into her stories." 

 Ray looked pensive. "She did," he said softly, then set down his mug. "I
recognize some of her, but I wonder just how much I'm missing," he
explained. 

 Adam took in a breath. "I guess the fact that you see any of it means you
had to know her. I mean, she shrouds all her feelings in the storylines. I
only know she's in there because I feel her." He paused, suddenly
blushing. "I've been rereading some of them to help me remember her." 

 "I don't think you'll forget her," Ray said. "If Fraser and I couldn't
forget her, I don't imagine you could." 

 Smiling, Adam picked up the camera again. "I just like to feel her. You
feel her when you read them?" 

 "I do," Ray said. "Plus they're enjoyable." 

 Adam smiled proudly and the bedroom door opened again. Fraser stood a
moment looking over the vision before him, then stepped up to the table.
He looked at Adam, then Ray. "Two dining chairs seemed plentiful at the
time, didn't they?" he observed. "Well, we'll get another," he commented. 

 Ray stood, holding his coffee. "You can sit here," he said. 

 "No, no. I didn't want you to move. In fact, I'm going to make breakfast.
Sit," he commanded. 

 Ray shook his head. "I'm going to change so we can feed the dogs," he
said. "It's clear this morning so I thought we'd let them run around
before lunch." 

 "All right," Fraser agreed, then looked at Adam. "Have you had
breakfast?" Adam shook his head. "Pancakes?" he asked. 

 Nodding, Adam moved his camera into a bag and stood. "Want me to make
it?" 

 Fraser smiled. "No, that's all right," he said and began to get out the
supplies. He rinsed a mixing bowl he took from under the counter before
putting some of their fresh supplies into it and stirring. 

 Adam sat back and watched. "Ray's been reading Mom's books," he
commented. 

 "Yes," Fraser replied simply. 

 "Have you?" Adam asked. 

 Fraser glanced at him, then looked away. Adam was concerned by this so he
sat forward. "That's ok. I was just curious." 

 "I read one," Fraser said softly. 

 "Oh." 

 He turned to Adam. "I found it... difficult." 

 "To read them?" 

 "To remember her. I think it's too soon for me." 

 "Oh," Adam said, understanding. It was easy for him to read them because
he could remember her in them, keep her fresh in his mind. Apparently
Fraser felt differently about it. 

 After breakfast, Adam declined to assist with the animals so Fraser and
Ray went out alone. He watched the animals chase each other and the men
follow them around, then begin to chase the animals as well. Soon there
was no way to tell who was chasing who. Adam took a picture of the scene,
then set the camera aside and went to the sofa to read. A while later,
they came back inside. 

 ******Part 18
 Evening came and Fraser commented on the cold. An unexpected cold front,
he assumed, then picked up his coat. "I'll go feed the dogs," he said. 

 Ray took his coat. "I'll help. You want to come, Adam?" 

 Adam shook his head and the two went outside. Fraser and Ray went to the
shed and prepared the dishes for the dogs, letting them eat as they
watched. "I don't think it's been this cold this time of year since I was
a boy," Fraser observed. 

 Smiling, Ray shrugged. "So we have to keep each other warm," he
suggested. 

 Fraser stepped close to Ray and kissed him quickly. "We'd better let them
run around," he said as he opened the door. The dogs immediately shuffled
out into the snow. Fraser and Ray followed, watching them chase, nip and
play. When a couple started to slow down, Fraser chased after them to get
them going again. Ray chased another and soon they were running around
with them again. 

 Ray couldn't help grinning like an idiot while they were out running
around. It was so free and fun. Sure he could see the dogs smiling too,
one ran away, then suddenly turned and came at him with a joker
expression. Ray chuckled and stepped backward, then spun. In the same
instant, Fraser was chasing a dog that crossed his path and when the two
men slammed into each other, they fell to the ground. 

 As cold as the snow was, it wasn't working its way into their clothes
yet. Ray looked up at Fraser over him and lifted his head. They met in a
kiss, the dogs running around them as Ray held Fraser's head in place to
press his lips to Fraser's. *This is the life,* he thought as he pushed
Fraser's shoulder, rolling him back into the snow and laying over him. He
brought his hand to Fraser's chin, holding it there with his fingers
wrapped behind Fraser's ear. The very tip of his tongue ran along Fraser's
lip, then pushed into his mouth. Fraser licked the tongue that entered his
mouth and wrapped his hands around Ray. 

 Finally, Fraser found the strength in his resolve to push Ray away. "Adam
could be watching," he stated. 

 Ray smiled. "So?" he said, lightly, leaning over and kissing him again.
This time, Fraser didn't fight it at all. They laid there kissing, the
dogs still scampering about until Ray moved back. He covered his mouth,
his expressions strained. Leaning back to kneel, Fraser sat up. Ray tried
to stifle his cough, but one escaped. He stood and shook his head, giving
a warning look that kept Fraser from speaking. 

 "Let's get the dogs in and go inside," Fraser suggested, moving to his
feet. 

 Adam watched the men start to corral the dogs and stepped back from the
window. Moving to the stove, he stirred the macaroni and cheese before
setting out plates. By the time the table was set, Ray led the way into
the cabin and Fraser closed the door behind them. At first Adam thought
they were both grumpy, the way they were silent while Fraser moved across
the room to stoke up the fire while Ray looked over Adam's shoulder at the
food on the stove. 

 Then Ray lightened up and smiled. "Smells good, Adam. Thanks for fixing
something." 

 "You're welcome," Adam replied, then cleared his throat. "You guys just
seemed to be having a good time so I thought..." 

 Fraser immediately rose back to his feet and stepped away from the fire,
giving Adam a look that made him uncomfortable. He stopped speaking and
looked back and forth between Ray and Fraser. "Did I say something wrong?"


 Ray chuckled. "No, I think Fraser's just not used to the idea of you
seeing us get all intimate," he said in a very mocking tone. He added a
wink to Fraser, then picked at the carrots in one pan and ate a piece. 

 Looking at Fraser, Adam took two pots from the stove and put them on the
table. "I don't mind," he said. "I mean, I know about... stuff. I'm 15,
not 5," he added. 

 "I know," Ray said. "But at 15, Fraser was still uneducated on the
beauties of life," he joked. "Give him a break." He ate another carrot,
then moved to the bedroom. He came out with a small nightstand. Setting it
beside the table, he sat on it. "Looks good," he commented.  After dinner,
Adam wanted to go for a walk. Fraser told him to bundle up before going
out, then suggested he take one of the sled dogs for protection and to
warn him of trouble. Darkness was only a few hours this time of year, but
it was very late and the sun was setting. 

 Adam followed Fraser's advice, staying near the cabin and watching the
dog run ahead, run back, then run ahead again. Lost in thoughts and
memories, he didn't notice how quickly it grew dark. There was just a hint
of moon, barely enough to light his way back to the cabin. He stepped
inside and looked around. At first, he noticed only the silence, but as he
looked toward the fire, he saw body parts on the couch. 

 Walking quietly around, he saw that Fraser was laying behind Ray, both
propped precariously on the couch. Fraser had his arms around Ray while
Ray had one hand over Fraser's arm and the other under his head. They
slept so peacefully, Adam didn't want to disturb them. He considered
taking their bed only a moment before squatting before them. He put his
hand on Ray's shoulder and shook him. 

 Ray woke with a start. "What? Oh, Adam," he mumbled, rubbing his eye.
Starting to realize where he was and the position he was in, he moved.
"Oh. You want to go to bed." He elbowed Fraser behind him, waking him
also. "Sorry. We were just talking and I guess we fell asleep." 

 "It's ok," Adam assured him. "Like you said, I just want to go to bed." 

 Ray nodded and slid off the couch. Fraser yawned and made his way to his
feet. He shook away something in his head. "Did you have a good walk?" 

 Adam nodded. "Yeah. It was nice. There's something about bundling up to
go out there. Makes you think more clearly." 

 Smiling and nodding, Fraser patted Adam's shoulder. "Good night," he said
and followed Ray to the bedroom. 

 Fraser closed his eyes and prepared to fall asleep. He felt Ray move his
warm body up against him and smiled wearily. As Ray's hand moved over him,
he let out a contented sigh. The hand worked its way under his nightshirt
and Fraser relaxed. This would be a comfortable sleep. All at once,
though, the hand wandered and when he felt Ray's fingertips slip into his
pants, his eyes opened. He had no time to react before the hand slid down
to his groin and began to fondle. 

 "Ray," he scolded in a whisper. 

 "Yeah?" 

 "What are you doing?" 

 Ray squeezed. "What does it feel like I'm doing?" 

 Fraser took in a sharp intake of air. "Five minutes ago, you were
asleep!" he snapped breathily. 

 "Yeah, but now I'm awake and aroused," Ray responded. 

 As tempted as Fraser was to respond that he wasn't, he immediately
realized Ray would know it was a lie. Already blood was rushing away from
his upper torso. Ray tugged and Fraser let out a breath. "It's... it's the
middle of the night," Fraser argued, rolling onto his back. 

 Ray's hand left Fraser's groin and for a moment, Fraser regretted saying
anything, but then he watched as Ray grabbed his waistband and pulled it
down, rushing. The hand quickly planted itself over his dick again,
fondling him lightly. Ray moved against his side and continued to stroke
as his other hand reached around and probed his ass. Finding the hole, he
massaged it gently, forcing Fraser to roll back to his side a little. 

 Wanting desperately to say something, Fraser opened his mouth, but the
only sound to escape was a soft moan. Ray's finger pushed into him,
probing inside now. A moment later, he felt another finger push in, then a
third. Watching as Fraser's eyes filled with desire, Ray pushed his
fingers in and out rhythmically, letting them come completely out before
reinserting. Fraser grabbed the hand on his cock and held tight, looking
for some bearings as the sensations in his ass and along his shaft fought
for control of his brain. He gasped and groaned, his ass feeling the
stretch as Ray thrust fingers inside. 

 Warmth rushed onto him so Fraser jerked away from those fingers, from
that hand, and rolled over quickly. Ray looked surprised, but as Fraser
firmly pushed him to roll over, he enjoyed the moment as Fraser hungrily
tugged his pants down his ass and threw himself into Ray's ass. His
movements had been smooth yet forceful. Ray was already turned on by what
he was doing to Fraser, but Fraser's act had pushed him to ecstasy.
Fraser's warm groin pushed into Ray so quickly, the first movements hurt,
but that only served to bring him closer to orgasm in quick steps. Ray
grabbed himself and jerked, pushing his ass back into Fraser as Fraser
pushed into him, simultaneously tugging his own hard erection. 

 It seemed incredibly fast when Fraser came, grunting and thrusting as he
did. Ray felt it and his heart raced. He tugged and constricted himself
more, forcing the cum to the surface and finally coming quickly before
Fraser had finished coming himself. Gasping and moaning his delight, Ray
slowly released himself, then reached behind himself to touch Fraser.
Responding by kissing the back of Ray's neck, Fraser then pulled out and
rolled onto his back. "Fuck," Fraser breathed, causing Ray to laugh a
little. It took work to get his mountee to say that word voluntarily and
even then, he had to be in the right mood. 

 Moments later, their heart rates and breathing returned to relaxed and
they fell asleep. Not typical, but exhaustion had set in on them both so
they slept.  An hour later, Ray woke up. He grabbed his throat and rubbed,
but it didn't stop the cough. He coughed hard and felt it from his toes.
Fumbling in the darkness, he found a tissue and wiped at his nose, then
started to cough again. 

 The coughing woke Fraser and as he lay there, he stared ahead without
moving. It took all of his resolve to not ask Ray any questions. 

 Ray continued to cough, one hand rubbing at his abdomen, his scar feeling
painfully sharp with each cough, his other hand covering his mouth to keep
the sound down. Another couple of coughs, then he tried to swallow, but
something was in his mouth, something.. . a taste he recognized.
Something... 

 "Fraser, something's wrong," Ray said quickly. 

 Fraser moved to his elbow and tugged the chord on the lamp. The small
light illuminated the room as Fraser rolled onto his back. The insides and
creases of Ray's lips were painted with bright red. Fraser quickly sat up
and noticed the red tissue in Ray's hand. Ray looked down and noticed it
then also. 

 Inside, Fraser's heart was screaming, Something's wrong. Oh my God.
Outside, he remembered to remain calm, climbing out of bed. He grunted as
he remembered their earlier activity, pulling up his pants. He threw on
the nearest warm shirt, socks, and was putting his boots on over his sweat
pants while Ray just sat there, unable to speak or move. His chest hurt
and he felt like he couldn't breathe. Suddenly he started to cough again. 

 Fraser glanced at him. "Hold on," he said softly, then darted into the
main room of the cabin. 

 Striding to the couch, Adam sat up and looked at Fraser. He'd been
awakened by the coughing and now wondered why Fraser was coming toward
him. 

 "Get up," Fraser said firmly. "I need you to go through and pick up
anything we brought that's flammable or attractive to bears. You can leave
all the canned goods and mixes, but we have to take the rest." 

 "What's wrong?" Adam asked. 

 Fraser froze a moment, then shook his head. "I don't know. I'm going to
hitch the sled. We have to be ready to get out of here as quickly as
possible." He grabbed his coat and started to bundle up. 

 "Is Ray ok?" Adam pushed. 

 "I don't know!" Fraser snapped and was out the door in an instant. 

 Adam sat quietly a moment, then rose to his feet and looked about the
cabin. Time. Time is off the essence. Benton said 'as quickly as
possible'. Taking a deep breath, Adam started to throw things into a box.
He grabbed a bucket and filled it with water, then threw it on the fire.
It went out with a sizzle. Adam looked around to find a poker. Moving the
embers, he doused them all, then poured a little more water over the last
of the smoking ash. He moved about the cabin and threw more foods and the
lamp oil into the box. As the smoke died down, he moved back to the
fireplace and closed the damper. 

 Fraser flew back in the door and looked around. He glanced at the
fireplace and Adam offered his explanation. "I put it out and closed the
damper." 

 "Good," Fraser said. "You packed everything?" Adam pointed at the box.
"Good. Get bundled up. It's cold out there tonight." 

 "Is he going to make it to the airstrip?" Adam asked nervously. 

 Fraser shook his head and pointed northeast. "We're going to the RCMP
outpost. It's about an hour away and they can airlift him to Anchorage.
It's the nearest hospital." 

 Adam looked at Fraser while he removed his gloves and noticed his hands
were shaking. A moment later, he disappeared behind the bedroom door and
it was then that Adam realized he was shaking too. He looked mesmerized at
his hand and swallowed hard. He'd been breathing fast. Putting a trembling
hand on his chest, he took in a deep breath to calm himself, then put on
his coat and waited. 

 Several minutes later, Fraser emerged. Ray was stumbling, but Fraser was
helping to support him. When Fraser pointed at Ray's coat, Adam ran over
to get it, then helped both Fraser and Ray get Ray bundled. Adam noticed
then that Ray looked exhausted and pale. He ran to the front door and
opened it. Fraser and Ray started outside, but as Adam came to the door,
Fraser turned. "Get the box," he said. 

 Adam grabbed the box and took it out to the sled. He threw it on beside
Ray who had already been set in it by Fraser. 

 Fraser worked quickly to distribute the weight after commanding Adam to
sit beside Ray. Soon after, they were off. 

 The snow rushed over them, the slight light from the moon finally
beginning to give way to the dawn. Sunrise was far, but the sky was
getting brighter quickly and as the snow glistened and flew from the dogs'
feet, Adam looked over at Ray. 

 Ray had started coughing again, holding a towel up to his mouth. This
time when he pulled it away, Adam could see what the urgency was. He
swallowed, but said nothing. 

 ******Part 19
 "He's all right," the doctor said. "Everything is just fine. Our best
guess is that the chest cold you mentioned him having in the spring
loosened some scar tissue inside his lungs. The cold and activity you
described may have torn the wound open again. They took him to emergency
surgery and were able to reclose without complications," he explained. 

 Adam felt a great weight lifted. Fraser let his sigh of relief be heard
by all. He was glad, of course, but also full or questions. "I didn't
think it would be possible to reopen it after all these years," Fraser
commented. "I knew he had an increased risk for pneumonia, but no one
mentioned this." 

 The doctor looked serious. "Oh yes. It's possible. Scar tissue isn't the
same as regular tissue. It's weak, especially in organs like the lung and
heart. It's not uncommon for a patient to experience trouble throughout
his life. As long as Mr. Kowalski takes it easy for the next few months
and takes precautions to prevent colds this winter, he should be all right
to return to fairly normal activity. He simply didn't give himself enough
time to recuperate before exposing himself to the cold air." 

 "When will we be able to take him home?" Fraser asked. 

 "I think we can release him in a couple of days. I'd like you to take him
straight back to Chicago and allow him to rest." 

 "Of course," Fraser agreed. "I'll make sure of it." 

 The doctor smiled politely and nodded. "He'll not be out from under the
anesthesia for another several hours. Perhaps you should get a hotel and
get some rest." 

 "I'd rather stay," Fraser said firmly. 

 "The waiting area is down the hall on the left," the doctor responded. 
Ray watched Fraser as he leaned forward meditatively. He wondered if
Fraser wanted him to say something, but he couldn't disturb that intense
look. Finally, Fraser pushed his tongue against his lower lip. Ray shifted
in the bed. The reaction Fraser gave to that was to reach on the bed and
put his hand over Ray's. Fraser then looked deep into Ray's eyes. "You
scared the hell out of me," he said softly, words he thought he shouldn't
say, but found it pushing its way out anyway. 

 "I know," Ray admitted quietly. 

 "Again," Fraser added. He let out a breath that sounded as though he was
accepting some great blame. 

 "I know," Ray repeated. "I'm sorry." 

 "I shouldn't have let you talk me into taking you up to the cabin." 

 "It's not your fault. I should have been more careful." 

 "I knew I shouldn't have let you go." 

 "Fraser, I wanted to go and I know you thought I shouldn't. You told me,
remember? I'm the one who insisted." Ray turned his hand over and grasped
Fraser's. "In fact, the doctor said that if I take it easy, we can go next
year and build the addition." 

 "No. I'm thinking of boarding it up." 

 "The cabin? Why would you do that?" 

 Fraser frowned. "There are other vacations we could take and it's so
troublesome to get from the airstrip to the cabin. There are the planes,
the stops. It's too much trouble." 

 "It's not, Fraser. You love it out there in the wilderness. I can't let
you give up your little... excursions." 

 "There are other vacation spots," Fraser sighed. 

 Ray shook his head and grunted. He looked away a moment, then turned
back. "I don't want you to do it, Fraze. I love the cabin." He paused. "I
guess I complain because I can, but the truth is, I love it. It grew on
me. I don't want you to close I up because I want to go back, ok?" 

 Fraser looked at him a moment, studying him. "Really?" 

 "Yes," Ray replied. "Now, where is Adam?" 

 "He was out in the waiting room." 

 "He ok?" 

 "Yes. He was concerned, but he's fine now." 

 "Like you," Ray said, smiling a little. 

 Fraser smiled. "Just like me."  Adam stuck a Twizzler in his mouth and
stared at his cards. Inside he smiled coyly, but outside his expression
was stone. 

 "In or out, Kid," Huey said. 

 "In," he replied and threw six blue m&ms into the center of the table. 

 "That's six blues, two yellows, and an orange to you Fraser." 

 Fraser looked at the cards fanned perfectly in his hand. He counted out
the correct number of m&ms and pushed them to the center. 

 Ray looked at his hand. "Too rich for my blood," he commented and set his
cards face down. He followed the move by eating several of his m&ms. 

 "You'd be richer if you stopped eating your money," Adam observed. 

 Ray chuckled. "You'll share with me, won't you?" he asked Adam whose pile
was by far the largest. 

 Adam shook his head adamantly. "Mine!" he responded with evil laughter. 

 The men at the table laughed just in time to make Francesca wonder what
was up. She walked through the door with a big white box. "What's so
funny?" 

 "Nothing," Ray replied and looked at her. She set the box in the kitchen,
then came out to where they played. "You're late." 

 "I know. Ray called right before I left to pick up the cake." 

 Fraser turned. "Oh? How's he doing?" 

 "He's good. Stella is being a..." she stopped and looked at Ray. 

 Ray grinned. "A bitch?" 

 "Well, that wasn't his exact word, but it's the one I was going to use." 

 Ray nodded. "I'd be surprised if she wasn't being a bitch," he replied. 

 "Ray," Fraser and Francesca scolded in unison. 

 "What?" he asked innocently. He chuckled. "So, where's Turnbull?" 

 "Ren is still working," she said, throwing Fraser a glance. 

 Fraser looked guilty, then stared at his cards. 

 "He should be here soon," she added, nudging Fraser. "Although, just
because he did make my fianc work late, I'm going to tell you all that he
has three aces." 

 "OH!" Huey exclaimed and threw down his cards. Adam then tossed his on
the table. 

 Francesca chuckled and Fraser sat up straight. "Thank you," he said and
gathered his m&ms. 

 Ray reached over to pick up Fraser's cards, then decided to look at them
before putting them on the deck to shuffle. He looked at Francesca. "You
made him win!" he said. 

 She smiled a sly grin. "Well, there was no reason to believe me," she
responded to the groans that came from Huey and Adam at that point. She
looked at them and put a hand on her hip. "I bought candles," she said.
"You guys ready for cake?" 

 "Always," Ray said, patting his stomach. 

 Francesca disappeared into the kitchen and came back out with the cake.
She set the sweet concoction on the table and ripped into the package of
candles. She started counting them out, smiling a little as Adam watched
her. "I heard you got into the University of Chicago," she said as she put
them into the frosting. Ray gathered the cards and leftover m&ms, then
went to get plates and forks. 

 "Yeah," he said. "I know Ray and Fraser thought I could have applied
somewhere else more prestigious, but I don't want to leave. Still feels
like I just got here." 

 Francesca gave him a gentle look. "...Seventeen and eighteen," she said,
then smiled broadly at Adam. "Need one to grow on?" she asked, holding up
a nineteenth. 

 He shook his head. "I think this will start a fire," he joked. 

 Fraser smiled and they watched as the candles were lit. They subjected
him to a horrid verse of "Happy Birthday", though Ray sang his own
depraved version loudly, then Adam blew out the candles. 

 Francesca took the cake aside to cut and serve it. Renfield arrived just
as Francesca finished handing out the pieces, so she handed him one as he
sat, then dished up one more and sat down with her own. 

 Once everyone had finished, Adam began to open gifts. Francesca and
Turnbull gave him a telephoto lens for his camera, one she'd heard him
mention wanting. The gift from Huey was a simple gift certificate to the
music store. 

 Last, Fraser picked up a box and handed it to Ray. Ray passed the small
box on to Adam. 

 Adam took it. It was just a few inches across and as he took off the
paper, he looked at the jewelry box skeptically. He looked up and saw that
Fraser and Ray both seemed anxious so he took off the top. Inside was a
key ring with one key. Taking it out, he held it up. "What...?" he asked,
afraid to presume what it might be. 

 "You saved up all your money to pay for college and didn't even figure
out a way to get to and from," Ray said. 

 "I... I thought I was taking the bus or the L or maybe riding with you,"
he responded. 

 Ray nodded. "Well, you could, but you're 18 and you deserve a little
independence so I thought you could take over the responsibility of
keeping up the maintenance on the Goat." 

 Adam choked. "The GTO?" He dropped the key back in the box. "You can't
give me that car!" 

 Ray smiled. "Dad wanted me to give it to my son someday, Adam. He died
thinking I'd never have anyone to give it to. Why shouldn't I give it to
you?" 

 Adam tried to grin, but he felt lightheaded. "Are you sure?" he asked. 

 Fraser jumped in finally. "Ray and I talked about it, Adam. It's yours.
You're responsibly for registration, licensing, and insurance from now on.
Do you think you can handle that?" 

 Finally looking relaxed, Adam grinned a huge, coy grin. "Hell yeah," he
breathed, then jumped up and hugged Ray, leaving him only to hug Fraser.
"Thanks, guys," he said. 

 The End
 Seriously. Don't try too hard. You'll hurt yourself. 

 85 

End You Let Me Complicate You by Snowee: alaskanrose515@hotmail.com

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