Sex      Sex

 by MR

  

 Author's website: http://unhinged.0catch.com

 Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be, but they have more fun when they
play at my house.

 Author's Notes: 

 Story Notes: 

 

 

 sex 

 There are nights when you wanna do it soft and slow and easy. Maybe
you've had a good day, made a collar, actually took some scum sucker off
the street and put him someplace he can't hurt anyone for a good long
time. So you're hyped, you're pumped up, and everything's fine and good,
and you wanna play and have fun and laugh. 

 Then there are nights when things get dark and heavy. Shit happens, busts
go bad, DA's harass your ass for not having sufficient evidence, improper
search and seizure, violation of Miranda, on and on and on till you just
wanna hit someone, pound on something till you've gotten all the anger
out've your system. You want things rough and fast, you don't wanna bother
with foreplay and kissing cause you need it now. You need to feel that
connection, to know that your partner's still there for you, good or bad. 

 One of the advantages of being in love with a guy (there's a lot of'em,
but right now this is the most important) is that if you want it hard and
rough you can get it hard and rough and not have to worry about anyone
getting hurt. I could've never done with Stell what I do with Ben, because
I was always afraid that I'd hurt her without meaning to. So even when all
I wanted to do was pound the walls and scream, I had to do the whole
seduction routine, with the words and the right moves at the right time,
cause that's what she expected. 

 Ben though...Ben understands. He's been there, done that, and got the
scars to prove it. He's not afraid of hurting me, though he was in the
beginning. After a while he figured out what a tough little sonofabitch I
was, and that pretty much removed any inhibitions he had. So now, when
we've had a bad day and things get shitty, he knows that I need. 

 And he loves it too, though he'll try to tell you he's just doin' it for
my sake. I saw through that pretty much right off. He enjoys getting it on
with someone who's resilient and can take what he dishes out. So we end up
with a few bumps and bruises, maybe a skinned knee. That's not important. 

 What's important is that he can do this for me because I need it, because
I need that connection, that physicality, the sheer adrenaline rush you
get from totally trusting someone you love. I know he'd never hurt me
deliberately, that he knows my limits like I know his, so we get can get
rough and rumble and shake things up, knowing the other person will be
there in the aftermath, when the anger and crud's all cleaned out and you
feel like kissing and laughing and maybe just taking it slow and easy. 

 I think this's probably the best gift he's ever given me, being there
when I really need him. You know how many people live their whole lives
and never get that sort've love and trust? Way too damn many. Me? I've got
it in spades and aces, man. I've got someone I really love (something I
thought I'd never have again after Stella and I broke up) who loves me
back just as much. Someone who's there with me all the time, on the job
and at home. Someone who puts up with my stupid shit. A total freak that
licks things no sane human would consider touching, never mind putting in
their mouth. 

 I've got everything I ever wanted. My only regret is that it took me
30-some years to realize what was missing, and another two or three
dancing around the issue before I finally got the balls to ask him the
$62,000 question. 

 "Ray?" Fraser's head appears around the bedroom doorway, dark hair
tousled. "Are you coming to bed any time soon?" 

 "What? Once wasn't enough for you?" 

 "Oh no. I'm definitely looking forward to round two. Very much so." And
he gives me his best evil Mountie grin. 

 It was his idea I start keeping a journal, writing down what's happened,
my thoughts, that sort've stuff. Good way to clear your head, he said. I
thought it was pretty much a crock in the beginning, but damned if he
wasn't right. 

 So here's to Benton Fraser and Ray Kowalski. It took them a while to get
up to speed, but now that they've got the basics down, they'll still be
going at it when they're old and gray. 

 Wanna know something weird? I've seen pictures of his old man, and he was
one damn good-looking guy. Wonder if that's what Ben'll look like in
another 20 years? 

 Guess I'll have to hang around and find out, huh? 

 FIN 

End Sex by MR: psykaos42@yahoo.com

Author and story notes above.