sexliesandvideotapes      sexliesandvideotapes

 by MR

  

 Author's website: http://unhinged.0catch.com

 Disclaimer: Not mine, and remember, actors in porn videos are trained
professionals. So don't try this sort've stuff at home.

 Author's Notes: I had more fun writing this story and its follow-ups than
any one person should be allowed to have.

 Story Notes: 

 

 

 Sexliesandvideotapes
 By MR 

 So the way I see it, pornography should be banned. Not because it's gonna
corrupt the innocent and lead to society's downfall, but because a steady
diet of the stuff gives people the wrong ideas as to what sex actually
involves. They forget they're watching professional paid actors who do
this kind've thing for a living. So when sex with someone in real life
doesn't result in multiple screaming orgasms, they figure they must be
doing something wrong. Which is bullshit. 

 You ever had sex standing up? Cause people in skin flicks are forever
having sex in weird positions and even weirder places and nobody ever
pulls a groin muscle. Which is precisely what happened the first time
Fraser and I tried to have sex standing up. 

 Frase and I are almost the same height, but our bodies are built
different. My legs are longer than his, but he's got more mass through his
shoulders. So for us, the only way sex standing up works is if the one on
the bottom does a 50-degree bend at the waist. Which leads to dizziness
and way too much strain on their arms. Also pulled groin muscles, because
for some reason my dick, which fits perfectly into Fraser when we're lying
down, just can't seem to get with the program when we're vertical. I keep
slipping out when I pull back, and between that and Fraser getting
light-headed and damn near passing out, it isn't worth the trouble. 

 Give me a soft bed and a hard Mountie any day of the week. Lying down (or
on your knees, which ever you prefer) just works better. And it's a lot
more comfortable too. 

 Then there's the whole business of dick size. We guys tend to spend a lot
of time obsessing about whether we measure up, and this is pornography's
fault, because I've never seen a guy in a porno movie that was less than
10". I don't know whether they breed'em that way or just don't hire anyone
who isn't that big. I've also seen guys with dicks that look less like sex
organs and more like lethal weapons. I don't think I'd want someone with a
12" dick fucking me because I'm not sure there's enough room in there for
it. 

 For the record, Fraser and I are both 8". He just looks longer cause he's
not cut. 

 And gay porn...gay porn needs to straighten up and fly right. Cause a lot
of the guys watching gay porn are young men who've never even kissed
another man, never mind given him a blow job. Blowjobs are not something
you're born knowing how to do; they require practice (trust me, the first
blowjob I ever gave Fraser was a disaster with a capital D). Some guys
don't like to do blowjobs, and they shouldn't be made to feel like they're
cheating their partner if they don't. Fraser and I met a gay couple in
Canada who've been together almost 40 years, and never had anal sex. They
tried it early on, but neither of them really enjoyed it, so it's not a
part of their sex lives. Does that make them not really gay, just cause
they don't fuck? 

 Sex should be something you do because you love someone, not because
everyone in porn movies does it. I mean, how many guys in real life can
get it up again right after coming? Okay, I could when I was younger, but
I'm getting into my 40s now and my body's slowing down. Which isn't
necessarily a bad thing. Young guys have this tendency towards approaching
sex like it's a timed Olympic event and they've only got 15 minutes to get
it up and get it off. Maybe because when you're young, everything you do
is intense. It isn't till you get in your 30s that you realize sex is an
ongoing process. 

 All this should fit into the framework of whatever relationship you've
got going. Fraser and I have what amounts to a kissing fetish, acquired
during our search for Franklin's Hand, because let's face it; it's just
too damn cold up there to risk letting anything fragile get exposed. One
of the best orgasms I ever had in my life was achieved flat on my back in
a two-man tent, with two sleeping bags and God alone knows how many layers
of clothes between us. Fraser can do things with his tongue that should be
outlawed. 

 I'm not sure how much actual sexual experience Ben had before we became a
couple, but I don't think it was much, because it's like everything we do
is new to him. On the other hand, he knows lots of technical words for sex
acts. Without him around, I would've never known there's a phrase to
describe getting yourself off by rubbing you dick against the crease where
someone's leg joins their hip (intra-femoral intercourse). He's also very
fond of using the word buggery to describe fucking, which I like cause it
sounds dirty. 

 Oh, one more thing. Having sex in the shower is sort've like having sex
standing up. You can do it, but that's not to say someone's not likely to
end up breaking their wrist. So if you absolutely have to have sex in the
shower, go easy with the soap. 

 Thank God the cast comes off next week. Cause it itches like a
sonofabitch. 

 FIN 

End sexliesandvideotapes by MR: psykaos42@yahoo.com

Author and story notes above.