Old Flame Old Flame by Sparkle Heather Disclaimer: These characters are owned by other people. Not by me. Author's Notes: Story Notes: Fraser and Vecchio take a case in which Fraser's past plays a part. Old Flame By Sparkle Heather Ray sighed impatiently. They had now been waiting for three hours twiddling their thumbs until the Canadian side showed. Ray really was beginning to get restless and bored. Sure, it was a very picturesque log cabin but there was only so many times that you could go around looking at all of the rooms... The living area they were waiting in now was magnificent. It was large, airy and had a real log fire as the centerpiece. Leading off of the living area was a small kitchen. There were also two downstairs bedrooms with a bathroom. Right up the top of the cabin, up some rickety stairs was a small attic type bedroom. This was Ray's favorite room, from this you could see for miles around. But you could only stare out of a window for so long. Ray had soon joined Fraser again downstairs and consoled himself with the thought that he'd get to spend some time with the mountie away from Chicago even if they were still on official business. When that had become boring he started to console himself with less chaste thoughts. "Wuf." said Dief, walking to the window and sniffing. Fraser placed his hat back on his head and walked to the window. Ray followed the mountie looking to see a man getting out of a pick-up truck outside. It was interesting to note the way Fraser's shoulders relaxed, it was as if his whole body was heaving a large sigh. The mountie straightened up, turning to face the detective. "It's Jim." Fraser stated. For a brief moment Ray could have sworn a beginning of a smile danced across the mountie's lips. He shook his head. When he next looked up Fraser had left the room, in fact he could see him outside talking to Jim. Dief had followed and was licking one of Jim's hands. An unexplainable knot of jealousy formed in Ray's stomach as he watched Jim's hand gently twirl through the thick fur at Dief's neck. Slowly Ray gathered his wits together and stepped out of the front of the cabin. Neither man noticed him at first, so intent as they were on each other. It was funny. Fraser had said it had been years since he last saw Jim, that they had worked together a while before Jim transferred to Toronto. Jim and Fraser were around the same height, although Jim was taller by an inch. Jim was built stocky, muscular. The sunlight picked out highlights of blond-red in his hair. Together, the two men made quite a picture. Ray was mesmerized by the scene... He was back in Lieutenant Welsh's office, Fraser stood next to him, the light catching his beautiful eyes. Inspector Thatcher with her normal cold bitch expression stared across Welsh's desk. Welsh outlined the deal - Tom Hinchcliffe had been sighted on the Canadian border. Fraser had been especially asked for to help by Jim Connor. Vecchio had been chosen to represent Chicago P.D. who also had an interest in Hinchcliffe. The most noticeable thing was Fraser's change in expression at the mention of Jim Connor's name. At the time Ray had filed the fact away. Watching them now he suspected they might have been lovers. As he bumped back to reality the knowledge did not thrill him as he thought it would, neither did he feel threatened by Jim's presence. It was strange. "Are you gonna introduce me then, Fraser?" Ray asked, desperate for the mountie to look at him. "Oh yes. Sorry Ray. This is Detective Jim Connor." "Detective Ray Vecchio, Chicago P.D." stated Ray, awkwardly holding out his hand. Jim gripped his hand hard, holding it tightly and firmly. "I was telling Benton that I now work on the border with my colleagues from the U.S." begun Jim, " - we monitor the movements of known felons and their associates. Recently there has been an upsurge of the number of incidents involving narcotics." "And you think Tom Hinchcliffe is behind them. It will be good to nail Hinchcliffe. Where is his operation based?" asked Ray. "We think to the west of here. There is another cabin a lot like this one. You can get a pretty good view of it from the upstairs bedroom." Jim replied. Fraser had already begun to unload the fishing gear from the back of the truck. Hidden amongst the cases were surveillance equipment which they would use to monitor Hinchcliffe's activities. The idea was to appear like ordinary tourists renting out the cabin for a few days. One of Jim's men was in deep cover associating with Hinchcliffe, he was gathering evidence. They were here in case the man needed backup of any sort. A thought struck Ray; if the other cabin could be seen it was very likely that their cabin was visible to those they were trying to catch. It would be good to nail that bastard though. Hinchcliffe had slipped through the net too many times through lack of evidence back in Chicago, it would be particularly sweet as he had also attacked another officer with a crowbar leaving his spine shattered. Now they would have plenty of time to gather evidence against Hinchcliffe and send him away for a long time. "Ray?" Fraser questioned. "Sorry Benny. Just thinking." Ray said, picking up some cases from the back of the truck and delivering them to the cabin. It was early evening by the time they had finished setting up most of the equipment. A river ran across the back of the cabin's land and Fraser and Jim had gone there to fish. Ray could see them clearly from the upstairs bedroom which he had adopted. He watched them while he did some further unpacking of first clothes and then equipment. Raised voices caught his attention even though they were muffled by the glass. Knowing that he should look away, but being unable to, he stood back from the window in case he was spotted. Fraser and Jim were having some kind of argument. But why? The words dipped to a lower level. For a moment it looked as if Jim was going to kiss Fraser. Ray felt his heart skip a beat. Quite roughly Fraser pushed Jim away, turned around and trudged back to the cabin. Ray couldn't read the expression on Jim's face. Jim watched the mountie for a few moments before returning to his fishing. Ray sped downstairs into the living area and grabbed a video camera. Quickly he began to pretend to make adjustments to it. The door opened and he heard Fraser walk in. "Hello Ray." Affecting a casual air he looked up from the video camera. "Oh hello Benny, good fishing?" "What are you doing?" Fraser asked stepping over to Ray. "Huh? Oh, just making some adjustments." "You have the video camera around the wrong way Ray." "Have I?" he said absently waving the camera in reply. Fraser took the camera and demonstrated how Ray needed to hold it to make any adjustments. The expression on the mountie's face was unreadable and was like the last time he'd been `caught out' by the mountie almost a month ago. Ray had been out drinking. It had got to the point where he had consumed so much alcohol Ray had forgotten why he had drank so much. Then it hit him in a wave - Irene was dead. Then it hit him again, and he remembered - he was in love with Fraser. Ray stumbled into an alley to regurgitate his last meal. The realization of his feelings for Fraser had come rapidly after Irene's funeral, at the time he felt as if he had been punched in the gut. Although he had loved Irene at the same time knew he loved Fraser. It had scared him as he had never felt such strong feelings for another man before. He'd had crushes, even thought he had been in love with another man; but his feelings for Fraser went so much deeper that anything he had ever experienced before... Of course he had always had an interest in men which he had hidden from his family, friends and colleagues. Catholicism doesn't embrace homosexuality. Fraser was different. Ray loved him. He straightened up when he heard other footsteps in the alley. A door caught his eye. Ray watched as two men holding hands knocked on the door and entered. Robotically he wiped his mouth with a handkerchief and threw it into a nearby garbage can. Smoothing down his hair and pulling up his collar he approached the door and knocked. He was let in finally after giving the guy on the door fifty bucks. All around him men were drinking, kissing, touching one another. Ray rarely came to places like this; it was far too public for a cop. When he did go to such clubs he felt such exhilaration and excitement. Glancing at the men around him, seeing none that immediately caught his interest, Ray settled on the idea of another drink and walked to the bar. He was halfway through his second expensive short when he felt a hand on his shoulder. A big blond burly man stood looking down at him. "You're in my seat." "So?" asked Ray turning away and staring at the back of the bar. Suddenly he was hauled out of the seat and pushed up against the wall. "So let me get there." stated the blond. Ray was no longer touching the ground and the man was rumpling his clothes. The blond tightened his grip, twisting fabric between his fingers. "Excuse me, would you please put my friend down." Fraser was stood behind the burly man. The mountie and man stood staring at each other for a moment. Gently, Ray was lowered back to the floor. "Thank you kindly." said Fraser yanking Ray towards him and pushing the cop in the general direction of the exit. "Just make sure he stays out of my seat." shouted the blond after them. The mountie took Ray by the arm and gently steered him outside. Ray's mind was so muddled by booze he found it hard thinking straight. "What were you doing in there?" Ray asked once he had been safely steered out of the nightclub. "I've been following you." a pause, then, "What were you doing in there, Ray?" "Drinking." "There are lots of other places you could drink." "What can I say, Benny? I'm a raving faggot." Ray stated, the alcohol making him reckless. There was a brief silence before Fraser replied. A non-expression on Benny's face, Ray really had no idea what Fraser thought about his revelation. "You can't go home like this." the mountie said finally, shifting to support Ray who was beginning to sway, "You better come back to my apartment tonight." The whole world was spinning and slowly everything went black. When Ray awoke he was in Fraser's bed, the sheets were cold touching his skin. Slowly his eyes became accustomed to the gloom. Fraser was asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag, Dief curled up at his feet. The drink had began to wear off and he found himself asking so many questions, Why had Fraser followed him? What would Fraser think of him now? He screwed his eyes shut wishing for the morning yet dreading it at the same time. However, when the morning came Fraser didn't speak of the night before. They had never spoken about it. "Ray, you are going to drop it." said Fraser gently prising the camera from Ray's fingers. Fraser's gentle words brought him back to reality. "Sorry Benny, I was miles away." Ray paused for a moment. "Benny, do you want to help me set this stuff up upstairs? You get a really good view from the bedroom... I've been unpacking the stuff while you were out fishing." Curiosity burned within Ray - he had to get Benny on his own and ask about Jim. The whole idea of the two of them together obsessed him. And if his hunch was right then may be Fraser liked men too. May be...he stopped himself before he could go any further. Fraser looked at Ray in a strange way, but gathered up the camera and followed Ray up the stairs. The camera was thrown down on to the bed. By mutual consent the two started work on setting up the tripod. They worked in silence screwing the components together. After a few minutes the tripod was assembled, the mountie stretched up and walked to the window. Ray could see Jim still outside fishing. "Quite a view you've got from here. See over there" said Fraser gesturing, "there's the main road leading to the other cabin. We'll be able to see everything moving in and out of here. One of us should really be watching this all the time." "How am I gonna get any sleep, Fraser?" "You can share with me and Dief." "I suppose I'll have to re-pack my stuff now." "Ray, you were a bit premature in taking this room. Jim said outside it afforded the best view of the suspect's cabin." The detective had already started gathering up his stuff and throwing it back into his holdall. "Benny, there is something I need to know." "And what is that?" "You and Jim." Ray said avoiding the mountie's eye and instead making himself busy stuffing clothes back into his bag. "Yes?" "I saw you outside. You were arguing." "Oh." "What is going on between you, Fraser?" "Was." "Huh?" asked Ray, perplexed, looking up for the first time since they had started this exchange. "You mean was. There is nothing left now. That is what we were arguing about." Fraser said quietly sinking down on to the bed, "Sometimes you can't pick up where you left off. I told Jim that." "You were lovers." It was a statement not a question and Fraser seemed to appreciate the difference. "Yes. A long time ago now." "I thought it was something like that." "Why, Ray?" "The look on your face when we got told we'd be working with him." Ray said sitting beside the mountie on the bed. They both sat in silence for a few moments. The room gradually got darker and Ray heard Jim re-entering the cabin. "I better put my stuff in your room then." said Ray stretching out, grabbing his bag. Both men stood up awkwardly. Ray followed the mountie down the stairs and threw his bag in Fraser's room. Over the next few days they fell into a routine. Jim or Fraser would go fishing, while one of them kept an eye on Hinchcliffe's movements from the attic room. Sometimes a couple of them would go into the woods pretending they were hunting for game, when really they were hunting out Hinchcliffe. The monitoring of the other cabin had become dull and boring. At the same time each day a pick up truck loaded up with stuff would leave the cabin. At the same time the next day it would return empty. Ray was bored. Day after day the same thing would be written down on the logging sheets. He wanted some action, but Jim called the shots and would not allow it as he had an inside man helping them. Jim didn't want the inside man's cover to be jeopardised. So on the hour Ray would radio in movements to Jim's colleagues at his office. Every evening they would dine on fish caught in the river. When this became boring Ray added Italian spices and made a risotto or a rich pasta sauce. One such time Jim was helping him, Fraser was watching the other cabin. It was the only time Ray had been alone with Jim and he felt uncomfortable. "So then, has Fraser got anyone?" Ray felt his back stiffen and he busied himself with chopping some vegetables. "What d'you mean?" Ray finally replied. "Well you know, a woman or something." "I think you should ask Fraser that." Ray said with irritation, lighting the stove. Jim placed himself in Ray's way deliberately. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he felt Jim's breath on him. "Someone as close as you are to Fraser and you `don't know'. I find that very hard to believe." Jim said slowly, leaning across to pick up a piece of mushroom. "Well I don't know. Look willya get outta my way. I'm trying to cook here." At that Jim moved off, popping the mushroom in his mouth as he walked away. The conversation had troubled Ray - did Jim still want Fraser? It was quite possible. His own feelings for Benny were suffocating. Each night he'd go to Fraser's room to sleep and felt like crying out, letting the mountie know exactly how he felt about him. Instead he'd listen to the mountie's soft breathing, dream unchaste dreams and imagine what it would be like to hold the other man in his arms. This morning Ray and Fraser were `hunting'. They hadn't spoken about the conversation in the attic bedroom so many days ago. Not speaking about it had left things awkward between them. Ray could see what a good opportunity he had to broach the subject on their hunting trip. But where to start? After crossing the river Dief had run far ahead, Fraser taking long strides following him. Ray dashed to catch up with the mountie, and tugged at his sleeve. "Fraser, I think we need to talk." The mountie turned to look at Ray. Dief trotted on and through some bushes. "It's just ever since that other day in the cabin things have been...well difficult between us. I just want you to know Benny that, well I understand about these things you know?" "These things?" "Yeah. You needn't be ashamed with me. I understand." "Ashamed? Who said anything about being ashamed?" "I didn't mean like that I meant..." "What do you mean, Ray?" They both looked up together and Ray found himself tumbling through blue eyes. For a moment all coherent thought was lost. He felt himself being drawn forward and leaned toward Fraser. Slowly Ray took a deep breath. "I love you, Benny." They stared at one another a moment longer. Fraser glanced briefly to the ground, before facing Ray again. "Say something, please say something." pleaded Ray leaning yet closer to the mountie. A gunshot pierced the air. Dief barked and scrambled up towards the two men. Ray said a thousand different curses under his breath. Fraser had spun on his heel and looked back to their cabin. Wordlessly they both ran towards it, Dief running alongside them, but slowed down when they reached the edge of the wood and crossed the bridge over the river. "Can you see anything?" Ray asked. "I saw someone quickly run around the other side of the cabin." Ray squinted up towards the attic room. "Where's Jim?" "Look Ray, we'll have to split up. You take the right side of the cabin and I'll take the left." The detective nodded, slung the rifle across his back and instead took the familiar weight of his hand gun out from his jacket. He ran crouching towards the right side of the cabin, laying himself flat against the corner. A glance in Fraser's direction told him the mountie was with Dief and they were okay. Ray slowly edged his way around the corner. A quick look around told him he was safe, but he could hear lowered voices at the front of the cabin. Taking a deep breath he slowly made his way towards the front, taking care not to make any noise. As he got closer the men's voices became more audible. Another gunshot tore through the air. Ray almost screamed Fraser's name in terror, but stopped himself. Instead he took a quick look outside the front of the cabin. There were three men, one of the men had a gun jabbed in Jim's back. No sign of Fraser, hopefully that meant they had missed. A jeep was parked a few yards from the cabin, semi-hidden in trees. Ray wondered if he could shoot that far accurately. He'd aim for the fuel tank just like Fraser had made him do to his own car some time ago. Thankfully the pick up truck and his car were parked around the left hand side of the cabin. He didn't want to destroy another of his own cars if he could help it. Slowly he took aim. And fired. The jeep exploded. Ray rushed the corner to find Jim wrestling with one of the men. Another man tried to run. Fraser ran around the corner with Dief. Dief grabbed the running man by the leg, and Fraser jumped on him. "Ray!" warned Jim. Ray turned and punched the third man behind him. He then kicked the man in the stomach and took his weapon. "Come on now we can do this the hard or the easy way." said Ray hauling the man up and propping him against the front of the cabin. Ray threw the spare gun to Jim who caught it and trained it over his man and covered Fraser. Fraser was checking the injured man. "Did you call for back up?" Ray asked Jim. Jim nodded, and replied, "Just before they reached us. I thought I'd better come out the front and distract them. By now their whole cabin should be taken and Hinchcliffe with it." Fraser turned and smiled at the two men. Ray couldn't help breaking out into a gigantic smile in his way of reply. When they returned to Chicago things soon got back to normal. Or at least they pretended everything was normal. It was the second night that they were back that they had a chance to talk again. Ray had driven Fraser home and come up for some coffee, Fraser mumbling something about `needing to talk'. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while. "Good coffee." Ray stated finally, paused and then, "I thought you wanted to talk, Benny?" "Yes. About what you said." "And?" prodded Ray when it seemed the mountie wasn't going to say anything more. "Well. I've thought about it and... I love you too, Ray." Relief flooded through the cop's veins at those words. He went limp and dropped the coffee cup to the floor, where it rolled spilling the drink. Dief lapped up the drink from the bare wooden boards. "At first when I knew I would be working with Jim again I began to think of him as being a lover. But when reality hit me I knew I couldn't, I didn't want him anymore. Then over the past few days I realised the feelings I had for you ran deeper than I first thought." Ray walked over to Fraser removing the cup from his hand and placing it on the side. They both looked at each other for a while before they took their first tentative kiss. As the kiss became more intense Ray felt himself pushed against the wall, and hands caressing him. From the far corner Dief yawned, placed his head on his paws and closed his eyes. He felt this was the best thing to do as he didn't want to watch the humans do their mating dance. End Old Flame by Sparkle Heather: sparkle_heather@yahoo.com Author and story notes above.