Telling	 Telling

 by witchbaby

  

 Author's website: http://www.happyfriendbox.com

 Disclaimer: Not my characters, sadly.

 Author's Notes: 

 Story Notes: 

 

 

 Telling
 By witchbaby 

 I was okay with it, I was. Really. So okay, patience is maybe not my
strong suit, but I'd waited for this guy for a long time. I was willing to
wait a little more. And besides, let me tell you, making out with Fraser
on my couch is a hell of a lot better than being alone in my bedroom
stroking myself off thinking about Fraser and all the things I want to do
to him. Want him to do to me. Both. Either. Whichever. 

 So I am really very okay with the making out part. I think it's good. I
think it's greatness. I tell you, it's so damn good I nearly passed out
the first time we kissed, forgetting to breathe and all. So I want it out
there, up front: I'm not complaining. 

 It's just that it's been like a week now, and we're doing this every
night (and again with the lack of complaining. I'm making out with Fraser,
every night. I am not complaining). But. Well. I'll say it again: I'm not
the most patient guy in the world. And Jesus, I want him. So bad. And
yeah, you know what, the making-out-on-the-couch stage is kind of a very
fun part of this stuff. I forgot what it was like to do this, to ride this
knife's edge of being so goddamn horny all the damn time that I can hardly
think. 

 I like it. I like coming home with him, after a day of looking at him and
feeling that shot of heat that runs straight through my body to my cock,
just from eye contact or a brush of his hand. I like knowing that he'll
come home with me, come upstairs with me, and stand there, all polite, hat
in hand, offering to help make dinner or something. 'Cause it's cool, we
got this balance thing going on, where most of the time it's me and him,
just the way it's always been. 'Cause that's good, what we have, what
we've had all along. That's not something to get rid of, and I think it's
pretty damn cool that that doesn't have to change, even though we have
this now, this making-out-on-the-couch thing, too. 

 So we're not weird with each other. I mean, he's not any weirder than he
usually is. Which is pretty weird. Thus all the politeness and hat and
dinner-cooking thing. But he's just Fraser and I'm just me, and we get
home and we get some food and we talk and we kick back on the couch, and
then it's just like zing, like whatchamacallit, Pavlov's freaking dog, and
it's like yeah, all this me-and-Fraser guy friends thing is cool and all,
but I gotta stick my tongue down your throat now, okay? 

 So. Tonight. We've done the whole polite-relax-dinner thing, and we're on
the couch. He still waits for me to make a move, and that's okay, it's
only been a week and the guy is repressed, you know? Like I think it's a
major success he's even here. And I am thrumming with wanting him, have
been all day, all week, fuck, since I've known him, okay, fine. But now
it's kicked up a big number of notches, 'cause like I said, kissing is all
well and good, but it leaves me wanting more. 

 And I like this, like this feeling of riding high, of being itchy just
waiting for him, of getting that low, sinking tingle just from watching
him sitting next to me on the couch. And I know he can feel my eyes on
him. He's waiting for me to make the move and I kind of like making him
wait. Even though I'm so fucking turned on here that I'm hard as a rock. 

 Call it maybe a minute and a half before I give in and jump him. 

 I grab the front of his button-down flannel shirt, pretty much just to
anchor myself, and kiss him, hard. Like, hard. Like hard enough that he
kind of whimpers into my mouth, and I gotta tell you, that is one hell of
a turn-on. And up till tonight I've been good, I've been just as caught up
in the kissing as he is (and for a real buttoned-up guy, he loves to kiss.
Loves it. You can tell. I can tell. He gets lost in the kisses between us,
just kind of sinks into it). 

 He makes out like a first-timer, like he's scared, a little. His hands
don't stray any further than my waist, like they're anchored there, and
even when the kissing gets me hot and hard and panting (he's panting too,
fucking breathless, when I let him go), I've been following his rules.
'Cause I mean, he's a Mountie and all, and it seems like the right thing
to do. 

 But hell, my patience has its limits. And tonight I am all over him,
pretty much from step one. I'm holding onto his shirt and pushing him back
against the arm of the couch. I've got one leg in between his and I'm
half-kneeling up over him. It's not enough. Been waiting a real long time
for him and my need is ratcheted up high tonight. 

 I'm pushing him back and he's murmuring my name against my mouth, over
and over. "Ray, Ray, Ray." There's need there, and want, but he sounds a
little scared. 

 I manage to stop kissing him. "Fraser," I say, taking a deep breath,
trying real hard to get my head to stop spinning. "I just want..." Okay,
the words aren't coming to me, can't figure how to do this without
spooking him. He blushes so bad even when I just give him a slow smile,
trying to let him know just how bad I want to kiss him when we get home.
Thinking about telling him stuff like, well, "Fraser, I want to get down
on my knees and give you a blow-job like you've never had before," just
doesn't seem right, somehow. Especially 'cause I'm not entirely sure he's
ever had a blow-job before. I've seen pictures of that Victoria chick.
Something tells me she wasn't real big on the cock-sucking. 

 Or I could tell him that when he leaves at night and I'm alone in bed in
the dark, that the thought of his hand, just his hand, on my cock,
touching me, is enough to get me off. 

 Yeah. It'd be fun to see his face burst into flames, now, wouldn't it? 

 I try again. "You don't have to...I don't want to push...but if I could
just..." Okay, it's real hard to carry on a conversation when I'm
basically pinning the guy to the couch. I tell myself that I should move
back, sit down, talk about this, but my body is simply not agreeing with
that sort of logic. Not when he's just leaning back there and yeah, his
hands are anchored on my hips now (that's good, that's a good step from my
waist, I may corrupt this guy yet). And he looks uneasy and kind of
confused, but game. Patient, waiting for me to find the words. Like he's
waiting for me to tell him what to do. 

 On top of that, his face is all flushed, and I've messed up that really
neat hair, and wow, I think I kind of unbuttoned his shirt when I wasn't
paying attention. And when I try to move back and end up shifting against
him, my thigh comes in contact with his crotch and he gives this really
fucking hot gasp and then - Jesus - lifts his hips up and presses against
me. 

 How the hell am I supposed to take it slow when he's so hot and doesn't
even know it? 

 "Fraser, don't do this to me," I groan, my head dropping to his chest as
I try to control my breathing. 

 He freezes immediately. "I'm sorry, Ray," he says in that confused polite
tone that tells me clear as day that he's not entirely sure of what he's
apologizing for, but he really is most sincerely sorry for whatever it
might be. "I'm not... Well. That is, I don't usually...I haven't had what
you might call a great deal of experience in these matters..." 

 "No, no, that's not it," I tell him. "This is good, this is really,
really good." I very seriously don't want him to freeze up, to go back,
when all I want is to go forward. So I press down against him, one hand
propping me up, the other down on his hip, partly hanging on, partly
pulling him closer. Jesus, that feels good. I am so hard and this
conversation is becoming impossible. 

 He's breathing heavy again, and his eyes are hot, burning into me, but
still really nave, lost, kind of, in whole new territory. "Ray, I want..."
He takes a breath, and I can tell this takes a lot, for him to be so very
open right here, right now. He isn't good at telling what he wants. You
gotta push him into it. I watch him looking for the words and again
patience fails me and I just gotta... you know, with his shirt open like
that, his neck is just begging to be licked. Tasted. Nibbled. Christ. 

 My lips are against his neck before I can really think about it, but
that's okay, because he's arching against me again, his hands scrabbling
for purchase as my hips lurch forward into his. I'm getting fucking lost,
fucking delirious, in how good he tastes, and it's only because his lips
are like, right against my ear, that I hear what he says next. 

 "I want...Ray. Ray. Please. I want this. I want you. Ray. Show me. Show
me." His voice breaks on that last part, and it's me that freezes here,
still pressed against his neck, against his body. I freeze and I know, I
mean, I knew that this was more than just sex, more than just anything,
that it was me and him, a real duet now, and I thought I was holding back
for him, but maybe he was holding back for me. Holding back, but only
because he doesn't know how to go forward. And he trusts me to show him. 

 I stay there for a second and his hands come up to hesitantly pet at my
back, like he can't really figure if I'm upset or angry or what. And I
finally lift my head, rub my cheek against his, rough with stubble, and I
kiss him again, holding onto his jaw with one hand, kiss him soft and
sweet. Because yeah, I can be sweet. Because yeah, I want that too, I want
him that bad, and I want to be the one to show him. It's fierce in me,
this need and this want and this fucking delight, at this fucking *honor,*
that I get to be the one to do this. To show him. 

 Show him how much I want him and need him. 

 "Frase..." I murmur in his ear. 

 And then I slip off his lap and onto my knees in front of him. Time for
show-not-tell. I can't find the words, he can't find the words, but I am
very damn good this part, at letting him know for sure how much I want
him, and showing him just what I want to do to him. 

 When I nudge his knees further apart and reach up to open his jeans, he
blushes brightly, so very red. But then he takes a breath and lets his
legs splay open. And the look he shoots down at me is total trust and
that's a pretty major turn-on as well. And when I pull his cock out of his
pants, he blushes even more, and his hands clench, but then my lips just
brush against the very tip of it and he lets out this very soft moan and
his hands come to rest gently on my head, and Jesus, this is good. 

 Everything between us is so damn good. 

 And I take him in my mouth and I love, fucking love, how he tastes, so
good, like I thought he would. I wrap my hand around the base of his cock,
and take him as far in as I can. When his hips lurch up, I hear him gasp
again, and say, "I'm sorry, Ray, sorry..." 

 But I just hum a little around his cock and he jerks again, moaning loud.
I let him slip slowly, slowly out of my mouth. I look up at him and I know
I have to look like such a slut, here on my knees in front of him, my
mouth all wet. My voice is cracked and broken as I repeat his words back
to him. "I want this." I say it slow, want to be sure he hears me. "I want
you. Go with it, Fraser." 

 And I go back down on him, take him in deep, and I know this isn't going
to last long, and that's okay, that's fine, that's greatness, because we
have all fucking night, we have forever. And this is such a fucking
turn-on, my cock is aching, and Fraser is moaning continually now, my name
tied up in the moans, and then he groans, loud, and comes, hard. The taste
of him in my mouth is enough to send me right over the edge, right in my
jeans, without him ever laying a hand on me, and that is pretty fucking
amazing, isn't it? 

 We're pretty fucking amazing. 

 And I lay my head against his thigh and all I can think is that I love
him so damn much. I didn't mean to say it out loud, because, yeah, you
know, spook the guy even more, right? But I must have, because his hand
slips down and he runs his thumb over my cheek and even though his voice
is real, real quiet, I hear it when he says, "I love you, too, Ray." 

 Yeah. Pretty amazing. 

 ~end~ 

End Telling by witchbaby: brooklinegirl@rcn.com

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