familyties   Author's disclaimer: Although the story is mine, it is
a work of fiction based on the character of Due South. All Characters
portrayed here belong to Alliance. Please do not print/copy/download or
send any part of this story to anyone else, other than for your personal
enjoyment. Thank you. 
Rated NC-17 (Sorry but I'll try and due a milder version later for those
who prefer R and below.) RAPE WARNING applies here between two males, so
if that bothers you, DON'T READ IT.  Graphic sexual scenes, strong
language. H/C/Angst M/M M/F 
  

 This is in response to a challange that Fear *Aradia dared me to write,
and since I would be lost without her wonderful feedback and support, here
'tis. I hope you enjoy my attempt, I can never pass up a good dare :) I
dedicate it to my special friends Bonnie, Ruthie and Mary Ann, whose
wonderful feed back continue to inspire me, thanks gals! 

visit my web page 

By: Amethyst FAMILY TIES 

 
 

         Benton Fraser stepped under the hot spray of the shower, humming
a soft tune to himself as he lathered his body with the moisturizing soap
available in the tray beside him. Ray had taken his mother and Francesca
to the store for some Thanksgiving Day supplies and Maria, Tony and the
kids were out for their regular walk to the park. The Vecchio's had
invited Fraser to stay the weekend, since he was practically family and
Fraser had been glad for the diversion, for he and Ray had been hard at
work the past few weeks pursuing criminals. 
         He used the soap to wash his hair, he rarely bothered with
shampoo and the scented bottles offered on the shelf in the corner of the
stall were too dramatic for his liking, though he had to admit the apple
shampoo Francesca seemed to enjoy smelled absolutely heavenly on her. He
smiled and shook his head, trying to rid himself of such impure thoughts
toward his best friend's sister, but it was difficult. 
         Her pretty structured face, deep phantom eyes and sultry mouth
was the stuff of most men's fantasies.  She had the slender body of a
forest gazelle, with well-rounded hips, incredibly delicious legs and
sweet perky breasts. Fraser blushed at his own thoughts, not that he spent
an amazing amount of time studying Francesca Vecchio's body, truly he
wasn't a lecher, but he was a man and he noticed; despite her thoughts to
the contrary. Oh, yes, he definitely noticed her in those half shirts and
tight mini skirts that exposed a tempting amount of her creamy flesh. If
she would just quit being so obvious about her attraction to him, perhaps
he would get the courage to pursue a relationship, but she always made him
feel like he had a pork chop around his neck and she was a hungry wolf in
need of a bite. 
         Fraser was aware that he was considered good looking to many
women, but that only served to make him more uncomfortable toward their
advances. He did not consider himself handsome, perhaps he had been taught
too much humility by his grandparents or perhaps in the view of always
being decidedly perceived as different in the eyes of so many. Fraser
considered his looks a curse rather than a blessing, for it only made it
more difficult for others to see past the facade to the real person
underneath. He heard the door of the bathroom open and caught a glimpse of
a familiar receding hairline before the curtain was torn back to expose
him. 
         "Ray, what..." he began and was shocked when his partner stepped
inside the tub and slammed him face first up against the wall of the stall
violently, his arms twisted behind him. He felt the cold metal of the
cuffs and the loud click as they locked around his wrists and he
shuttered. He tried to demand what was going on, but he suddenly felt a
hunting knife pressed hard against the flesh of his stomach as another arm
was coiled around his throat and cutting off his breathing supply.  He was
made embarrassingly aware that the body behind his was also naked as he
was trapped between the wall and that hard form 
         "Looky here," his captor murmured against his ear. "I came ta get
a shower and found me a playmate." Fraser's mind reeled for an explanation
of his partner's actions but could come up with none and he could not turn
around to look into Ray's eyes for the teasing he hoped to God was there. 
         "Ray," he began, his voice slightly muffled by the arm squeezing
his larynx.      "W...what are you doing?" He as shocked when he felt the
cool blade of the knife slowly mark a stinging trail down his abdomen and
just above his groin area and he stiffened. "Ray! P...please stop!" 
         "Oh, yer a beggar are you?" his captor snickered and Fraser was
appalled to feel the head of another man's arousal pressed against his
rectum deliberately. "I've got somethin' you'll be beggin' fer alright." 
         "No!" Fraser protested trying to push back against him, or free
his tightening hold, but the blade pricked his skin during his struggles
and he winced a he felt the warmth of blood slide down over his belly. 
         "Don't move or I'll gut you like a pig!" his captor threatened
and Fraser stilled his movements. 
         "Ray, why...don't do this! What is wrong with you? W...what have
I done?" he demanded trying to quell the nausea and fear inside him. He
was slammed harder against the stall as the arm moved from around his
throat, but the knife stayed in it's precarious position just above he's
groin. 
         "Shut up!" he was warned savagely. "Make a sound or try anything
funny and I'll cut your f**king dick off and feed it to you, got it?"
Fraser closed his eyes tightly and nodded, hoping beyond hope that this
was just another terrible nightmare and that his alarm would go off in
another minute and wake him for work. 
         He felt the other's hand move lower to grope him and he couldn't
help but recoil at his touch, which only resulted in another sharp cut
across his stomach. He bit his lip and tried to keep from moving so he
wouldn't be sliced to pieces, swallowing the bile that rose in his throat
as his testicles were fiercely manipulated by a large callused hand. The
hand finally moved away and some kind of soft cloth was pressed into
Fraser's hand. 
         "Tie it around your eyes." His ravisher commanded and with
shaking fingers Fraser did as he was told. Something was wrong, terribly
wrong! This was not a game as Fraser had first suspected. He realized that
the smell was also wrong, this person did not smell like Ray, and
certainly didn't act like him. What was going on? 
         "I...I don't understand, Ray! What is this is about, please
don't..." Fraser began only to be turned suddenly and shoved back up
against the wall. 
         "Shut up I said!" the man who looked like his partner ordered,
before claiming Fraser's mouth in a brutally possessive kiss. Fraser could
feel his stomach contracting painfully in protest as his head started to
swim, how could this be happening? Why was Ray acting like this? He tried
to tear his mouth away but the Italian was persistent, stealing his
dignity as well as his oxygen. 
        Finally he had air and he gasped in relief until he felt the
subtle slide of the other mans body as he knelt down in the tub. Dear God!
The sting of the knife moved between his legs to rest just below the
cheeks of his buttocks and he stiffened once more. "Unless you wanna me ta
cut you a new butt hole don't move." Fraser remained still, though he
couldn't halt the trembling that had over taken him. 
         He felt his penis being taken into the other's mouth and he
choked back a sob of mortification as the man sucked him mercilessly,
growing frustrated it seemed when the Mountie remained soft and
un-aroused. The feel of tongue and teeth on his sensitive organ stimulated
him physically to a point, which was embarrassing enough, but the
brutality of the assault caused more shame then pleasure and so Fraser
remained decidedly limp in the other man's mouth. 
        Apparently that wasn't adequately animated enough for the
Italian's liking and he only became more ferocious in his attack. Fraser
clamped down on his lower lip hard enough to taste the blood inside his
mouth to hide his distress and keep from crying out in pain and
humiliation. 
         Finally he was released and his captor rose, only to grasp
Fraser's shoulder's and force the Mountie to his knees. Fraser kept his
chin tucked into his chest, unwilling to give the man an opportunity to do
what he was attempting. Strong fingers gripped his chin and pulled his
head up, placing the tip of the knife at his throat hard enough to prick
the skin and Fraser winced. 
         "Do me." He was commanded. "If you bite me or do anything I don't
like I'll slit your f**kin' throat." Fraser hesitated, he was considering
that would be a better alternative than what he was about to be forced to
do, but the man never gave him time to decide. "I don't get it from you
I'll take it from Frannie, your choice." Shock permeated Fraser's body at
the thought of the beautiful woman being subjected to such degradation and
torture and without hesitation he opened his mouth and tried not to gag on
the object that immediately filled it. 
         He tried to relax his throat to make it easier and prevent
tearing or damage, but his captor was insistent and thrust hard and fast
into his mouth, hindering any attempt to soften the assault. He heard a
guttural moan above him and tried to blink at the tears that stung his
eyes, but the blindfold prevented him from dispelling them and soon they
were chorusing down his cheeks and mixing with the spray from the shower. 
         "Oh yeah." The voice from above hissed. "F**k yeah, dat's it." 
          Fraser was startled when his captor suddenly pulled out and
hauled him to his feet, turning him abruptly and pushing him back against
the wall of the stall once more. Before Fraser had a chance to react he
experienced excruciating pain as the man penetrated him. He couldn't
contain his cry then as he was savaged from behind and his rapist
continued to bemoan his pleasure. He felt the form behind him stiffen
suddenly and cry out as he reached orgasm and released his seed inside the
Mountie. 
         Fraser's forehead was leaned dejectedly against the wall, his
entire body shaking with fury and humiliation as he felt the cuffs being
removed from his wrists and the cold steel of the knife piercing his side.

         "You tell anyone about dis, one single person, you talk in your
sleep or write a damn letter, I'll do dis and much worse ta Frannie and
it'll be on your head, got it?" Fraser nodded and felt him move away. 
        With his last ounce of strength he peeled away the blindfold as he
started to slowly slide down the wall, and caught another glimpse of Ray's
profile, only there was something different about him. Before the Mountie
could decide the quiet click of the door alerted him that he was once
again alone in the bathroom. 
         He curled up in the floor of the stall, unaware that the water
beating down on him had turned cold or that his heart wrenching sobs
echoed in the room around him. Finally after a long moment, he managed to
rise and pulled the bar of soap from the floor of the stall where he had
dropped it earlier. He scrubbed at his body first slowly, then with a
furious intensity, uncaring that the soap was aggravating the cuts on his
stomach and throat, until the bar had gone down almost two sizes from when
he started. 
         Finally he rinsed off and stepped out, moving slowly across the
small area to push the lock of the door in place and lean against it
shakily. He had never locked a door in his life but the need to keep out
any further intruders was too much for him to ignore. He retrieved some
antiseptic cream from the medicine cabinet, unwilling to make the trip to
his room for his own concoction just yet, then quickly tended to his small
wounds and placed bandages over them. 
         He slowly dressed in the jeans and a gray pull over he had
brought in with him, trying not to think of the painful throbbing of his
lower regions. The feel of the clothing against them were almost too much
for the now sensitive skin, but he managed to adapt and quickly brushed
his hair away from his face, leaving it damp and giving him a soft
vulnerable look. 
        He glanced in the mirror and surveyed his throat, not too bad, two
sharp cuts one just below his Adam's apple the other just below his right
ear. They could be considered shaving nicks, he supposed, in case anyone
asked though the collar of his shirt hid them well. He gargled twice with
mouth wash and peroxide, which only made his throat scream in protest, but
he didn't want to risk infection and he had to get rid of the taste that
lingered there. 
         Finally he was ready to face the Vecchio family and he slowly
opened the door and made his way down stairs. He found Ma and Francesca in
the kitchen preparing dinner and the urge to run to them for comfort
almost overwhelmed him, but he maintained a composed look and forced
himself to stop shaking. 
         "There you are, Bentino!" Ma exclaimed in delight as he
approached her and automatically raised her cheek for a kiss. Fraser
hesitated only a second before yielding to the unspoken request. 
         "Hello Ma." He greeted huskily and he was distressed to find his
voice sounding so dramatic, he must have damaged his throat more than he
thought. 
         "Are you catching a cold, darling?' Ma inquired concerned as she
automatically raised her hand to place against his forehead. "You are
warm. Do you feel well?" 
         "I'm naturally hot blooded, Ma." He excused indifferently. "I
just have a sore throat." She tsked concerned. "May I help?" 
         "Hey?" Francesca demanded looking up from her chair where she sat
peeling potatoes. "What about me?" 
         "Forgive me, Francesca." He offered shyly, surprising her by
bending down to touch his lips to her cheek in greeting as well. "I did
not mean to exclude you." Francesca blinked at him a few times; flustered
that he had kissed her, when usually he ran in the other direction if she
was the least bit forward. She caught a flicker of something in his eyes
but it was gone a moment later. 
         "Are you okay, Benton?" she asked softly, a frown marring her
beautiful features. 
         "I am well thank you kindly for asking, Francesca." He replied
then blushed at the out right lie. "May I assist you?" 
         "Sure," she agreed, pleased. "Pull up a chair." She handed him
the pairing knife and pushed the sack of potatoes toward him, surprised
when he didn't sit but chose to stand beside the table instead. 
         "I've been sitting most of the day." He commented, which was
actually true as he had been tied to his desk at the consulate for long
hours before Ray had picked him up to come here. 
         "Okay." Francesca dismissed. "What ever bobs your raft." 
         "E...excuse me?" Fraser stammered almost dropping the potato that
he held; he couldn't have heard that properly. Ma Vecchio chuckled as
Maria entered. 
         "I think she means, float your boat, Benton." She explained and
wasn't surprised by the bafflement that remained on the Mounties's face.
"It's a saying just means whatever your into, what things you personally
find appealing." 
         "Ahh." Fraser acknowledged returning his attention to the
vegetable in his hand as Ray entered the kitchen. This time the potato did
fall, and the knife sliced his finger. 
         "Watch it!" Francesca cried in alarm as she quickly grabbed
Fraser's bleeding hand and pulled him over to the sink, letting the water
run over the injured finger. "You're supposed to cut the potatoes, not
your fingers." She teased, but she could feel the sudden tension in the
man beside her. 
         "I...I am sorry Francesca." he rushed, keeping his eyes focused
on the stream of the water as it washed the blood away. More blood, more
pain, more...He shook his head and closed his eyes tightly. 
         "You okay Benny?" Ray's voice suddenly sounded beside him and he
stumbled backwards in fright, knocking over the chair that was behind him
and almost falling himself, but Ray caught him and righted him. "Hey, be
careful!" 
         "Don't touch me!" Fraser exclaimed shaking his partner's hand off
and stepping back again. He blushed at the shocked stares he received and
lowered his eyes. "F...forgive me, I...I am not feeling well. P...perhaps
I should go home." 
         "We haven't had dinner yet!" Francesca protested. "It's
Thanksgiving, you have to stay for dinner." 
         "You always stay fer dinner, Benny." Ray reminded frowning. "If
you don't feel well, why don't you just go up and lie down for awhile
and..." 
         "No!" Fraser refused and again had to work to calm himself.
Although his voice sounded strained, the emotions in it were evident.
"I...I would just prefer to go home, Ray." It was hard for some reason to
say his friend's name and the Italian caught the hesitation, his eyes
narrowing concerned. 
         "Let's go outside, Fraser." He suggested quietly. Whatever was
eating the Mountie they did not need to discuss it in front of the family.
"If you really want to go home I'll take you but let's talk first and..."
Ray's words were abruptly silenced as his gaze moved past Fraser to the
man standing in the doorway. 
         "Roger!" Maria and Francesca both exclaimed in delight and threw
themselves at the visitor. 
         "Mia Caro!" Ma Vecchio cried also moving toward them. Fraser
turned and gasped, for standing in the doorway, being affectionately
engulfed by the three women, was another man that was the very image of
his partner, only with a trimmed moustache and cold looking eyes. 
         "Hello Mama!" the man named Roger greeted kissing his mother
joyfully then squeezing the younger woman playfully. "Maria, Frofou, my
most beautiful sisters." Fraser blinked and reached a hand toward the
chair in front of him for balance. This was a member of the Vecchio
family, a brother to Maria and Francesca and a son to Ma. He glanced at
his partner who was still staring at Roger, a hard cold look in his
usually vibrant emerald eyes. 
         "What the hell are you doing here?" Ray finally demanded as Roger
grinned and moved toward him, holding his arms out for a brotherly hug. 
         "Is that anyway to treat family Bro?" he demanded, watching Ray
step back from the embrace expectantly. He shrugged and turned his
attentions to Fraser. "And who's this? Where are your manners Ray,
introduce us." For a moment Fraser thought Ray would refuse but finally he
spoke. 
         "This is my partner, Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted
Police." Ray explained reluctantly. "Benny this is my...brother Roger."
Roger gave Fraser a warm welcoming smile. 
         "Any partner of Ray's is a buddy of mine." He replied offering
his hand. It took all of Fraser's well-learned control to return the
handshake. Ray's twin! Ray had a twin and he had never told Fraser about
it? Why? Why hadn't he told him? Was this...could this be the person who
attacked him and not his own partner, as he had originally feared? There
was no recognition in the familiar emerald eyes that stared back at him,
no hint that he had ever met Fraser before. Fraser pulled his hand away,
confused and now afraid of two men instead of just one. 
         "I...it is nice to meet you." He murmured politely, his confusion
evident. 
         "Yah, anyway," Ray dismissed turning his back on his brother. "We
were just headed outside, com'on, Benny." Fraser moved ahead of him
quickly, glad to get way from the other man for the moment. 
         "It's a real pleasure, Benton." Roger offered after him and when
Fraser looked back he saw the spark of desire in the other man's eyes. 
         "E...excuse me, please Ray." Fraser insisted and hurried upstairs
without waiting for his partner's response. Ray chased after him concerned
and stopped by the bathroom door, startled to hear the Mountie retching
inside. 
         "Benny?" he called urgently pounding on the door, surprised to
find it locked.    "Fraser are you okay?" Fraser didn't respond. "Hey!
Open the door, Benny. Are you okay in there?" Mrs. Vecchio and Francesca
joined him worried. "He's throwing up, Ma. He won't open the door." 
         "Bentino?" Ma Vecchio asked softly as she wrapped on the door.
"Open the door my darling and let me in." They heard the lock click moment
later and Mrs. Vecchio waved her children back as she entered. "Fetch me
some warm 7-UP from the kitchen, Francesca." Her daughter hurried away as
Ma approached Fraser, who was leaned up against the sink and splashing
water over his face. 
         "Benny, you okay?" Ray asked also entering and watching the
Mountie stiffen and lower his eyes away from him. 
         "Raimundo, go help your sister." Ma instructed. 
         "But Ma..." he protested but quickly did as he was told after his
mother shot him a warning look. She returned her attention to the
trembling Mountie, guiding him gently out of the bathroom after retrieving
a warm wash cloth, and down to Ray's bedroom. 
         "Lay down, dear." She instructed as she settled him on the bed,
watching him wince slightly. 
         "I'm fine, Ma." He protested weakly but she would have none of
it. 
         "Do not argue, Bentino." She warned firmly. "You know better,
this is Mama talking, do as you are told." Fraser carefully lay back on
the bed as she removed his hiking boots and placed them beside the bed,
then pulled the coverlet over him. She soothed his brow with the cloth and
placed the thermometer in his mouth that she had taken from the medicine
cabinet. 
         "Here you go, Ma." Francesca offered extending the glass of soda
to her mother and watching Fraser rise up slightly as he was instructed to
drink some of it. Ray lingered in the doorway; uncertain if he would be
welcome considering the way Fraser was acting. 
         "You have a fever, Bentino." Ma discovered pulling the
thermometer from the Canadian's mouth and tsking over the reading. "You
will stay in bed." 
         "But Ma..." he protested again, he really just wanted to go home,
he didn't want to stay here, especially if they were going to fuss over
him. 
         "Listen to Ma, Fraser." Ray suggested from the doorway. "It's no
point arguing with her." Fraser sighed and lay back against the cushions
as Mrs. Vecchio sent her daughter for aspirin. 
         "All right, Ray." He sighed and did not see his friend's breath
of relief. He didn't know what was wrong with Fraser, but they would
discuss it later, right now they had to get him well. Francesca returned
with the aspirin and Fraser reluctantly swallowed the two Ma offered him,
then lay back again. 
         "Sleep my darling." Ma instructed kissing his forehead
affectionately and Fraser allowed himself a small smile, even as the blush
rose to his cheeks. "We will wake you for dinner if you are up to eating,
yes?" He nodded and watched her rise from the bed, shooing her children
out of the room as Diefenbaker whined from the doorway. 
        She allowed the wolf inside then closed the door firmly.
Diefenbaker hopped up on the bed and curled up next to Fraser on the
pillows, licking his face tenderly. Fraser wrapped his arms around the
animal gratefully and was surprised to feel tears prick his eyes once
more. A quiet sob escaped him and he cuddled further into the wolf,
eventually crying himself to sleep. 
  

         Fraser awoke some time later, missing the warmth Diefenbaker had
offered and turned toward the figure seated in the chair next to the bed.
Ray Vecchio was watching him quietly as he rubbed Diefenbaker's ears
affectionately. 
         "Feel any better?" Ray asked him and Fraser nodded as he
struggled to sit up. "You think you could keep some food down?" 
         "I...I could try." Fraser agreed tossing the cover back and
sliding his feet to the floor, only to have Ray stand and shake his head. 
         "Ma says stay in bed." He ordered moving to pull the cover back
around his partner. "I'll bring you a tray." 
         "Ray, it's Thanksgiving." He protested. "I would prefer to eat at
the table with everyone else, I want no special treatment." 
         "Okay, Benny." Ray agreed easily. "But you explain it to Ma."
Fraser almost smiled as he leaned over to reach for his boots. 
         "Thank you, Ray." He returned and finally rose from the bed.
"Allow me to wash up and I shall be right there." 
         "Yer not gonna get sick again are you?" Ray cautioned. 
         "No, I just want to wash up, really." Fraser insisted and Ray
nodded. 
         "Okay, I'll wait for you." He decided as they walked out of the
room with Diefenbaker at their heels. "Can't have you falling over the
stairs or anything on your way down." 
         "I feel fine, Ray." He assured as they paused by the bathroom
door. Ray reached up to touch Fraser's forehead and tried to hide his hurt
when the Mountie stepped away. 
         "Fraser, what is wrong with you?" he demanded quietly. 
         "I am just out of sorts, Ray." He excused entering the bathroom
and moving to the sink. "Please do not be concerned, I'll be fine
tomorrow, I am sure of it." Ray watched him suspiciously, his arms folded
as he leaned up against the doorjamb. 
         "I'm sorry I never told you about Roger." He offered suddenly. "I
guess I don't like to talk about him." 
         "That is quite all right, Ray." Fraser replied as he rinsed his
face and hands. "It was a...shock to learn you had a twin but I...I will
adjust." 
         "Yah, well, don't knock yourself out over it, Fraser." Ray
retorted. "I doubt he'll be around long enough to make an impression."
Fraser caught the anger and bitterness in his partner's voice. 
         "You don't get along with him?" he asked quietly. 
         "Not really." Ray shrugged. "He's a lot like Pop, too much like
Pop and I guess that gets to me. He's usually only here when he needs
money or a favor, it's not like he gives a damn about the rest of us, he's
only out for what he can get." 
         "I see." Fraser returned as he reached for the hand towel. "Shall
we join the others?" Ray nodded and moved aside to allow the Mountie to
proceed him down the stairs. 
         "Bentino!" Ma exclaimed as they entered the large dining room
where everyone was either seated or bringing food to the table. "I told
Raimundo to let you sleep or we would bring you something." 
         "I feel fine, Ma." Fraser assured her, bending to kiss her cheek
and smiling when she automatically returned his smile and placed her hands
to his face. 
         "Hmmm, your fever is down." She admitted grudgingly. "You may eat
with us then, but not too much and if you feel ill again you must tell me
immediately." 
         "Of course, Ma." He agreed readily, as always touched by the
older woman's concern for his well being. 
        Ray held his mother's chair for her at the head of the table.  He
tried to swollow the sudden jealousy he felt when Fraser allowed his
mother to paw him and Ray  himself could hardly get near him, then moved
to take his own place at the opposite end with Fraser settled in his usual
seat to Ray's left. Roger he noticed sat between Francesca and Maria, Tony
and the kids opposite them. 
          Everyone held hands around the table and bowed their heads for
grace. Fraser raised his eyes briefly and found Roger watching him as Ray
offered thanks. He pursed his lips and blew Fraser a kiss, watching the
Mountie pale dramatically and lower his eyes again. Francesca raised her
eyes and caught the Canadian's expression, just as he bowed his head again
and she frowned. She looked sideways at Roger but he too had his head
bowed in prayer. 
  

         Fraser tried to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes he saw
the terrible scenes in the shower and his senses were assailed with
memories. Finally he threw back his blanket and dropped his feet to the
floor, carefully avoiding Diefenbaker who was curled up beside the sofa
snoring quietly. The wolf raised his head slightly in protest of being
disturbed, but Fraser patted his fur affectionately, letting him know
everything was okay, and then Dief lay his head back down with a sigh. 
         Fraser rose and stepped over him, reaching to pull on his jeans
and straightening his T-shirt as he padded quietly into the kitchen to get
a drink. He had just reached up toward the cupboard when a hard body
trapped him against the counter top. He knew it was Roger and was alarmed
at how quietly the man could move that Fraser couldn't detect him with his
incredibly keen hearing. 
          "Hiya Mountie." He greeted quietly, his hand snaking around
Fraser to grab the Canadian's crotch, pressing his own groin hard against
Fraser's back. "Couldn't sleep, Hmmm? Me either. I kept thinking about our
earlier adventure in the shower." 
         "Leave me alone." Fraser pleaded distressed that this man could
cause such fear inside him. 
         "Can't do that." Roger refused squeezing Fraser intentionally.
"You have yer choice, Mountie. I get it from you or I take it from
Frannie." 
         "She's your sister!" Fraser hissed angrily. 
         "Yep and I love her." Roger agreed. "But she's also one hot
looking babe, and I could do worse. She's also real convenient." He
pressed against him again purposefully. "Yer choice, you or her." 
         "Don't touch her, you bastard!" Fraser whispered furious. "You
are an animal to even consider..." 
         "Shut up." Roger demanded grabbing Fraser by the throat. "I'm not
interested in yer sermons, I just wanna f**k ya, now let's go to my room
and get on with it." A low guttural growl sounded behind them and Roger
glanced over his shoulder startled.       "Call off yer dog." 
         "I can't do that." Fraser replied almost in relief. Roger's arm
went around his throat and tightened viciously, cutting off Fraser's air
supply, but that only proved to pull another menacing growl from
Diefenbaker who slowly advanced on them. 
         "Call him off now!" 
         "I told you I can't!" Fraser gasped. "He's deaf." Roger's arm
tightened, possibly in fear as Diefenbaker moved closer. "I...I would
advise you to release me." He tried to get enough oxygen to finish. "He
will tear out your throat I promise you." Roger wasn't stupid; he swiftly
turned Fraser to face the animal, keeping his hold on him. 
         "You call him off or I'll snap yer f**king neck." 
         "No, Diefenbaker." He wheezed but the wolf ignored him and simply
bared more of his razor sharp teeth. Fraser was glad for once of the
wolf's disobedience      "You see, he never listens to me."  Roger
released him and took a hurried step back as Fraser rubbed his throat and
tried to breath normally. 
         "Yer choice, Mountie." He spat and scrambled slowly around the
table toward the hallway. 
         "Protect Francesca, Dief." Fraser ordered and the wolf took off
after Roger, racing past him on the stairs and coming to a halt outside of
his favorite female's door. 
        Roger approached cautiously and Dief offered him a low growl
before pawing at the door. A moment later it was opened and the wolf
trotted inside as Francesca sleepily closed the door and crawled back in
her bed, Diefenbaker hopping up beside her protectively. Roger returned
downstairs, but could find no sign of the Mountie; he had escaped while
the other man was upstairs. He cursed and hit the wall angrily, then
headed back upstairs. 
  
  

         "Hiya Benny." Ray greeted, as the Mountie appeared beside his
desk in his red serge uniform with Diefenbaker at his heels. 
         "Hello, Ray." Fraser returned quietly, his hat fidgeting in his
hands. 
         "What are you doing here?" Ray continued as he flipped through a
file he was working on. "I would have picked you up in..." he glanced at
his watch. "Another couple of hours." 
         "I was on an errand for Inspector Thatcher in the area Ray and I
wished to stop by and tell you..." Fraser hesitated and shuffled his feet
as Ray's gaze upon became more intense. "I...I will be unable to assist
you this week, Ray." 
         "What?" Ray asked surprised, Fraser loved working cases with him,
he did most of it on own time. "Why not, Benny?" Another shuffle and a tug
on his right ear, the Mountie was almost refusing to make eye contact with
him. 
         "The...the Inspector has assigned me extra duties, Ray." He
returned. "I...I simply will not have the time and I do not wish to anger
her as she...well she seems determined to find fault with my performance
and be given reason for my dismissal." 
         "She can't fire you just because she doesn't like you, Fraser."
Ray informed. 
         "Inspector Thatcher is a formidable superior, Ray." Fraser
disagreed. "She can do anything she deems necessary." 
         "You came all the way over here just to tell me you couldn't work
with me this week, Benny?" Ray remarked skeptically. "You couldn't pick up
a phone and call." 
         "I was in the area, Ray." Fraser reminded. "I thought it would be
easier to just drop by." That was at least partially true, for he had
wanted to see the detective, but now he wished he had called. The
suspicious green eyes that stared back at him only proved to make him more
nervous. Finally the detective nodded. 
         "Okay, Benny." He agreed with a shrug. "No problem, you gotta do
what you gotta do. I'll pick you up after work and we'll get a bite to
eat, how's that?" 
         "Oh! I...I don't think so, Ray." Fraser refused politely and
Ray's eyes narrowed on him. "I will probably be working late tonight." 
         "Okay, just call me when you get off and I'll take you home." Ray
offered and half expected the second refusal. 
         "There is really no need, I can walk Ray." He assured glancing at
his watch. "I...I really must go now. Um...I will talk to you later, Ray."

         "Yah, sure, Benny." Ray mimicked watching the Mountie and wolf
turn and head out of the station without a backward glance. He dropped the
file on his desk and lowered his eyes. He didn't understand what was up
with the Mountie, but he fully meant to find out. 
  

          Fraser finished his last report, placed it in the tray on his
small desk to bring to Inspector Thatcher in the morning, and rose from
his chair. He wasn't lying when he had told Ray that Thatcher had him
working over time, it was already after seven and he was stiff and sore
from sitting at his desk the last couple of hours. Not to mention the tiny
office in which he worked was for some reason making him claustrophobic
and he really needed to get out and breathe some fresh air. Thatcher had
allowed Diefenbaker to stay with him for the day, because of the long
hours he would be working, and the wolf looked as eager for a trot in the
park as Fraser was. 
         He grabbed his hat, turned off the light and held the door open
to allow Dief through to the hallway. It had been difficult talking to
Ray, he probably should have just telephoned but the urge to see his
friend overwhelmed him. That was the problem, he wanted to be with ray, to
talk with him and share things with him, but whenever he actually got
close to his partner he froze up with an unexplained fear. His mind told
him this was not logical, for Ray was his best friend. However, Ray was
Roger's twin and every time Fraser looked at his partner he saw the
attack. Every time he heard Ray's voice, he heard Roger's threats and
mostly every time Ray moved to lay a hand on him, the Mountie
automatically recoiled, thinking of Roger's touch. 
         He was trying very hard to control these fears, to see past them
for the sake of his and Ray's friendship, but nothing he did seemed to
work. He tried remembering all the wonderful things Ray had done for him,
whenever they were together, but the memories were always over shadowed by
a recent one with Roger. He had prided himself on his self-control and
discipline, yet he couldn't contain the tremors that set his body shaking
whenever he saw or heard Ray. He knew he was hurting his friend, had seen
the pain in those beautifully sharp emerald eyes and that caused Fraser
more grief and guilt over his reactions. 
         So, he decided he would distance himself from Ray, just for a
little while, until he was feeling more in control of himself, just until
he could get past the attack, surely it wouldn't be too much longer. He
sighed as he locked up the Consulate and he and Diefenbaker headed for
home by way of the park. Who was he kidding? He knew the statistics of
rape victims, at least seventy percent of them never truly get over the
trauma, what if he was one of that percentage? 
         The idea that he would remain afraid of Ray both concerned and
saddened him. Ray was his best friend, the Vecchio's were like his own
family, how could he just walk away from them? Yet, he couldn't speak of
what happened at the hands of one of their own, that would destroy them
and thus, destroy Fraser himself. But God how he missed Ray! He hadn't
seen or heard from the detective in almost three days, since Fraser had
told him how busy he was going to be. 
        He suspected his partner was angry and confused with him and
Fraser couldn't blame him. Fraser was angry too. He was angry that Roger
had effectively driven a wedge between him and Ray. He was angry that he
couldn't control himself enough to be around his partner and he was angry
that the attack had happened to him, when all he had been doing was
minding his own business and taking a shower. 
         He paused just outside a club, where soft music drifted through
the doors and he realized he did not want to be alone tonight. He glanced
down at Diefenbaker, who was waiting expectantly for him to continue
walking. He shook his head and continued on, he would find nothing inside
the club that would comfort him, just more of the same, so he turned and
started through the park as Dief ran on ahead. No, he didn't want to be
alone tonight, but then who ever wanted to be alone? Fraser had been alone
most of his life, why should tonight be any different? 
         Because Ray had changed that, an inner voice told him. Ray
Vecchio had pulled Fraser out of his self-imposed cocoon and enveloped him
in the warmth of family and friendship. Ray made him feel needed and loved
and the Vecchio's had received him as one of their own. Fraser had never
encountered such unconditional acceptance from anyone and it had been
overwhelming at first. Then, as he grew to know them and Ray, he started
to let his rigid guard down enough that he ended up falling head over
heels for the entire Vecchio Family. 
          Now that love was threatened, as it always seemed to be when
Fraser was concerned. He truly believed he was not meant to have anyone in
his life for long, the moment he started to really care about them they
were taken from him. It seemed he was about to encounter more of the same
and this time he was unsure if he would ever recover. The attack was a
terrible thing to endure, but the idea of loosing Ray and the other
Vecchio's was too much for Fraser to fathom, he would be crushed, of this
he was certain. Tears stung his eyes at the thought and he angrily brushed
them away. He was tired of crying, tired of being afraid, tired of living
with a broken heart and a tortured soul. 
  

         Ray Vecchio sat in his car and watched his friend cut across the
park with his wolf. Fraser looked tired and defeated and it pained the
detective to watch his partner's suffering. But, Fraser was determined to
ride his demons out alone and nothing it seemed could be done to change
that. What hurt Ray most was that he knew somehow at least some of
Fraser's torment was being caused by him and he couldn't understand what
it was that he had done wrong. 
         Sure he yelled at Fraser sometimes, got angry with him, but that
was just Ray's Italian temper, the Mountie knew that and it had never
seemed to bother him before. Fraser had never shied away from his touch
before or deliberately stayed away from him. Ray's suspicions that
something terrible had happened to the Mountie was growing, as was his
anger that Fraser wouldn't confide him. They were best friends and
partners, if you can't tell your best friend what was bothering you, then
what the hell was a guy to do? 
         He had started following Fraser in the evenings right after the
Mountie had come to the station house three days ago to inform Ray that he
would be tied up all week. He as concerned that Frase had gotten himself
in trouble or worse, that Victoria had returned, but the Canadian left the
consulate every night alone and went straight home, making no stops along
the way. Ray had watched Fraser's apartment two nights in a row, but other
then occasionally watching the Mountie move across the window to the other
side of the apartment, there was little to see.  He would be cooking a
quick meal for him and Dief or ironing his uniform, nothing out of the
ordinary and he had no visitors. 
         Ray was at a loss what to do as he parked outside Fraser's
apartment and waited for the Mountie to arrive. He knew it was wrong to
spy on his friend, but he was out of options. He had to know what was
going on and since Fraser seemed reluctant to tell him, he would have to
find out on his own. 
  

          Fraser entered his apartment and closed the door. He quickly set
a bowl of food and water on the floor for Dief, then began to pull off his
uniform and change into jeans and a shirt. He pulled the blue flannel over
his white T-shirt but left it unfastened to hang loose around him,
uncharacteristically sloppy for the usually tidy Mountie. He dropped on
his bed and held his throbbing head in his hands. 
         "What a face on you!" Robert Fraser chided suddenly beside his
son, starling Fraser who gave him a menacing glare. 
         "Go away Dad." He muttered and continued to massage his temples. 
         "Cranky are we?" Robert Fraser continued undeterred. 
         "I am not up to dealing with you, Dad." Fraser told him wearily
and the older Mountie shrugged. 
         "Then why am I here?" 
         "To add to my torment no doubt." Fraser decided wryly. 
         "Nonsense, Son." His Father dismissed. "Obviously you need to
talk or I wouldn't be here?" Fraser shook his head unable to find a viable
answer. 
         "Maybe I've finally gone off the deep end." He returned. 
         "It's the yank, isn't it, Son?" Robert Fraser insisted boldly. 
         "No, it isn't Ray." Fraser denied. "It's me." 
         "There's nothing wrong with you, Son." Fraser Sr. assured as his
son moved to put the kettle on for tea. "You're a Mountie, nothing ever
bother's a Mountie." 
         "Well something is bothering this one, Dad." Fraser retorted
angrily. "Just go away." 
         "You're a Fraser, son. Don't let it get you down, it'll pass."
Fraser glared at him. 
         "No, Dad." He refused. "I don't think it will pass, I don't think
it will ever pass and you telling me to just forget about it isn't helping
matters!" 
         "I never told you to forget it, Benton." Fraser Sr. amended
easily. "I told you it will pass and it will. You just move on, do your
job and remember that you're a Mountie and that Mounties always get their
man, that's our motto after all and...." 
         "That is not our motto!" Fraser yelled at him. "Our motto is
maintain the f**king right!" His hand flew to his mouth in horror of what
had just come out of it, but Robert Fraser seemed non-pulsed. 
         "I don't remember that particular inscription in the text books,
Benton." He returned calmly. "But if you're sure I suppose that could be
our motto but I've never heard..." 
         "Shut up, Dad." Fraser pleaded as he turned away ashamed at
allowing his anger to rule him, even for a moment. 
         Where in the world had that word even come from? How could it
have possibly gotten into his precise and ordered vocabulary? Admittedly
he had sworn before, said bloody hell a few times, even said damn once or
twice when he was younger, but never, never in public and certainly
nothing as vulgar as what had just come out of his mouth. The idea that
his anger could have displayed such a monstrous breach in etiquette
appalled and frightened him. 
         "Son?" Robert Fraser asked quietly and Fraser turned to him,
tears in his eyes. 
         "I wish you were really here, Dad." He whispered desperately,
even as he had to grip the counter to keep himself upright. "I...I feel
like I'm shattering into a million different pieces and reassembling as an
entirely different person." He took a deep breath and moved to the window,
wrapping his arms around himself forlornly as he stared out at the night
sky. "I wish you could...I wish you could hold me, Dad. Just hold me and
tell me everything will be alright." He sniffed and wiped at a tear
angrily. "But then, you never did that when you were alive, so how could I
expect it now?" 
         Robert Fraser watched his son with tired, moist eyes, wanting to
say something to comfort him, but finding nothing that wouldn't make
things worse. He had always had a terrible time relating to Benton,
especially when he was alive. The adventurous, loving youngster his son
had been while Caroline was still alive had been dimmed by the loss of his
mother.  Life with his grandparents had been difficult, Robert knew that,
and not being around to encourage his son more often also seemed to have
taken it's toll on the tragic form before him now. 
         Benton was well educated and a credit to his fellow Mounties. He
was confident and sure in his abilities, he got the job done and that was
what mattered, regardless if his methods were a little unorthodox. His son
grew up in the shadow of Robert Fraser and had worked to over come that
lineage, to become a better Mountie than his Father. Robert Fraser
believed his son had accomplished his goal, for no father could be prouder
than he was of the kind of man his son had become. Yet, it seemed Benton
had to endure a strong measure of heartache and tragedy to meet his goal,
and he was left vulnerable emotionally because Robert had not tended to
him better about life's discords. 
         Benton was still like that little boy that Robert and Martha
first brought into the world, shining and bright and so eager for love and
approval. It was hidden of course, deep under his controlled Mountie
exterior so much like his own fathers, but it slipped out on occasion and
caused his son more pain it seemed then happiness. Robert Fraser glanced
upward, seeking whoever it was that deemed him necessary to be with his
son, long after his death and asked for the only favor he had ever asked
for of anyone. 
         Fraser tried to quell his trembling, he hated being out of
control, hated crying like a child, hated being alone and scared, as he
continued to stare out at the stars above. He wished he could fly to the
stars like Peter Pan and Wendy, never have to grow up never have to hurt.
Second star to the right and straight on 'till morning. He was startled
when he felt a firm hand on his shoulder turning him and he stared into
the bright eyes of his Father. 
         "D...Dad!" he exclaimed, for Robert Fraser felt warm and solid
and incredibly real as he pulled his son into his embrace. Fraser's arms
went around him slowly, as though afraid he might break the spell if he
moved to quickly and suddenly he was being held, really and truly held by
his Father.  It was enough for the dam of tears that had been gathering to
break and stream gratefully down Fraser's cheeks. 
         "Let it out, Son." His Father encouraged his own voice tight and
gruff with barely contained emotion. "Daddy's here Ben, just let it all
out my precious boy." 
         "I love you Daddy." Fraser sobbed against his Father. "I miss you
so much." Robert Fraser blinked at the tears stinging his eyes and not for
the first time, he was filed with guilt and remorse at not having enjoyed
his son's love more when he was alive. 
  
  

         Ray lowered his eyes from Fraser's window; his heart breaking at
the sight of the Mounties's tears and mournful expression before he seemed
to be pulled away from the window by an invisible force, probably
Diefenbaker caught his attention and caused him to turn. Why couldn't
Benny talk to him? What had he done to deserve the Mounties's sudden
dislike and fear of him? He knew he could probably force Fraser to tell
him what was going on, but that would probably just make matters worse and
right now Benny looked so close to the edge Ray didn't dare push him
further. 
         He tried to think back to when exactly Fraser had started acting
strangely and could only come up with the day of Thanksgiving at his
house. But the Mountie had been ill then, had caught some sort of bug was
even running a fever, so his behavior could be explained then. Ray was not
Mr. Congeniality either when he was sick, and since he had never really
seen Fraser with so much as a cold before, he couldn't deem what was
normal behavior for a sick Mountie. 
         So, he concentrated on what else might have happened that day to
set the Canadian off kilter. Other than meeting Roger he couldn't
see...Roger? Perhaps Fraser was more upset about Ray not telling him that
he had a twin then he had originally thought.  He had told Fraser that he
had an older brother at one point, he just neglected to mention the other
Vecchio was only older by three minutes. He was sure it was a shock, it
was to most people when they discovered Ray had an identical twin brother,
but Fraser usually took those things in stride. 
          Ray rarely spoke about Roger, they had been inseparable when
they were younger, but they had a falling out years ago and never really
communicated anymore. Roger was the epitome of their Father and the older
Ray's brother became the more like Pop he tended to be. This was too hard
for Ray to deal with, because his father had been an especially abusive
and selfish man, who spent long hours of every day drinking or gambling
his money away or playing pool. The Vecchio children had often gone
without food or much needed new clothes because their father had used up
most of the money that would pay for them. 
         Roger was too much like Pop Vecchio; he gambled, drank and
caroused. He was only concerned for himself, though he could be
sickeningly sweet to his sisters whenever he came home looking for money
or a place to crash for awhile, but it never lasted. Eventually he would
start berating them or making hurtful remarks while drinking himself into
a stupor. Ma always accepted her son back with open arms, making Ray's
life a little harder, but she also seemed relieved when he finally left
again. 
         The last time he had been by, he and Ray had gotten into it
because he had slapped Jennifer, Maria's ten year old, for leaving her
crayons on the carpet in the living room. They both ended up in the
hospital with something broken and mild concussions. Ma Vecchio had yelled
at them both for fighting and Roger immediately blamed Ray for starting
it. Ray admitted he started the fight, and he intended to finish it if
Roger ever laid a hand on his nieces and nephews again. 
         So, if it was Roger that was bothering Fraser, why wouldn't the
Mountie confide in him about it? He had to know that Fraser meant more to
him, so what was the deal? He shook his head and started the car, he was
just getting more confused thinking about it. He'd go home and get some
sleep; maybe things would be better in the morning. 
  

         Fraser entered the smoke filed bar and immediately spotted his
partner seated at the bar, his posh Armani suit standing out among the
more casually dressed patrons. He made his way through the dimly lit room
and stopped next to the detective, who was downing a shot of whiskey. Mrs.
Vecchio had called his neighbor, Mr. Mustasfi to ask Fraser to go look for
her son. He and Roger had gotten into an argument and she was worried. So,
Fraser agreed, having a suspicion where he would find the detective, and
headed out. 
         "Hello Ray." he greeted cautiously, they had spent only a minimal
amount of time together in the past few days on case loads and Fraser was
still slightly nervous around him, though he tried his best to hide it.
Vecchio cast him a wary glance, before ordering another drink. 
         "Hey Benny!" the Italian replied lifting his glass to him. "How's
my favorite Mountie?" 
         "I am fine, Ray." Fraser returned politely. "Your mother is
worried about you, perhaps we should..." 
         "Ma knows I'm a big Boy, Benny." Ray stated his words slightly
slurred no doubt from the amount of alcohol that he had consumed so far.
"You wanna drink, Fraser?" But before the Mountie could answer Ray
continued. "Oops! Sorry, Benny, I fergot you don't drink. You're not like
us mere mortals, nothin' bother's you, right Benny boy?" Fraser opened his
mouth to protest but Ray was on a roll. "Nope, my buddy Benny never let's
things get 'em down, no sir. My Benny doesn't have a single solitary vice,
he's perfect. Yep, you're perfect Benny." Fraser suspected it was the
alcohol talking, but the words still hurt. 
         "I am far from perfect, Ray." He denied quietly. 
         "Don't be so modest, Fraser." Ray suggested turning on the stool
to place a friendly arm around the Canadian, watching his partner step
back even as Ray raised his arm. Fraser watched the detective's glassy
eyes narrow, then he turned back to the bar and ordered another drink. 
         "Ray I think..." Fraser began but Ray cut him off deliberately. 
         "Ma sent you to bring me home, didn't she?" he asked and Fraser
nodded slowly. 
         "She is worried about you, Ray. She..." 
         "She thinks I'm gonna end up like, Pop." He explained. " 'Course
I can't blame her, I'm a lot like my old man, much as I try ta hide it." 
         "Ray I am sure she doesn't..." Fraser tried again. 
         "Sure she does, Benny." Ray interceded. "She's my mother, I know
how she thinks. I look like him, sometimes I act like him, she can't help
thinkin' it." 
         "Ray, your mother is very proud of you." Fraser told him. "She
knows you will always try to do the right thing." Ray shrugged and stood,
tossing some bills on the bar and ignoring his fresh drink. 
         "I know that." He agreed as he shrugged into his jacket and
headed out of the bar with Fraser close behind him. "Ma loves me, I know
that, but she's a mom and she worries." He looked at Fraser with an
unfathomable look in his eyes as they paused by the Rivera. "We all worry
about the people we love." Fraser returned his gaze, either not
understanding the depth of his statement or choosing to ignore it. 
         "Perhaps I should drive, Ray." He offered instead as the
detective walked around to the driver's side and pulled open the door. 
         "Hmmm?" he asked as if he wasn't listening. "Oh, sure, Fraser,
knock yourself out." Fraser caught the keys the detective tossed across
the top of the car to him and they quickly changed sides. Fraser slid
behind the wheel and fastened his seat belt.     "Wouldn't want you to
have to arrest me now would I Benny?" 
         "No, Ray." Fraser returned almost smiling as he pulled away from
the curb. 
         "Fraser?" 
         "Yes, Ray?" 
         "Why don't you wanna be my friend anymore?" Ray inquired and
Fraser shot him a startled glance before returning his eyes to the road. 
         "Why would you think that, Ray?" he asked concerned as Ray
slumped dejectedly in the seat. "Of course I still want to be your friend,
we are partners after all." 
         "I don't wanna go home, Benny." Ray decided suddenly. "Let's go
to your place." 
         "Ray your mother will be worried..." Fraser protested quickly. 
         "I wanna talk to you and we can't do that at my house." Ray
insisted. "We wouldn't have any privacy." 
         "We can talk on the way to your house if you like, Ray." Fraser
suggested. 
         "Damnit Fraser!" Ray exclaimed his outburst startling Fraser
enough to recoil. "I don't wanna talk in the car I want your full
attention." 
         Ray was at the end of his rope. Fraser had been acting strangely
toward him ever since Thanksgiving. He could still hardly believe the
Mountie snuck off in the middle of the night, leaving Ray to bring
Diefenbaker back to him the following morning. He had given no other
explanation other than he was not feeling well and decided to go home.
Dief was asleep in Francesca's room, so he hadn't bothered him. The
Mountie was tense, edgy and declined all of Ray's offers for a meal or
visit outside of working on a case. Ray didn't understand what was going
on, dispite following him on occasion last week, and it was getting to be
too much. 
         "Very well, Ray." Fraser finally conceded, not willing to risk
the detective's wrath, especially in his present condition. Ray remained
sullen and quiet until they actually entered Fraser's apartment, where the
Mountie quickly closed the door and bent to greet Diefenbaker. Ray turned
on him almost immediately, his eyes blazing. 
         "Tell me what's going on, Fraser." 
         "Going on with what, Ray?" Fraser returned going into the kitchen
and preparing to heat the kettle. "Would you like some tea?" 
         "No I don't want any damned tea, Fraser." The detective growled. 
         "Something to eat perhaps?" the Mountie offered, wanting to get
something into his partner's system to absorb the alcohol he had consumed.
Ray grabbed Fraser by the shoulder and turned him around to face him,
watching a brief flash of fear sweep across the Mounties's usually passive
features before once again being replaced by a mask of composure. 
         "What is wrong with you, Benny?" he asked concerned, watching the
Canadian lower his eyes deliberately. 
         "I...I don't know what you mean, Ray." Fraser evaded, even as Ray
reached up to capture his face between his large callused hands. 
         "This Fraser." He pointed out as Fraser automatically pulled away
and the detective let his arms drop to his sides. "You won't let me touch
you anymore, it's like you're afraid of me." 
         "That's just silly, Ray." Fraser denied raising his eyes once
more to his partner's. 
         "No it's not." Ray insisted. "You won't go anywhere with me
anymore, unless it involves a case, you've turned down every invitation
I've offered you to come to my house, since Thanksgiving, and you haven' t
told me a freakin' Inuit story in over a week." 
         "I didn't think you liked those story's Ray." Fraser returned. 
         "That never stopped you from telling them before, Fraser!" Ray
exclaimed frustrated. 
         "I...I apologize Ray I..." 
         "Don't be sorry just talk to me, Benny." Ray pleaded urgently. 
         "What...I don't... Fraser stammered and was shocked when Ray
grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pushed him up against the wall
angrily. 
         "Damnit Fraser, tell me what the hell is going on!" Fraser
reacted instinctually, shoving the Italian away from him violently. 
         "No!" he refused. "Don't touch me!" Before he was even finished
saying the words he regretted them and was filled with remorse and shame
for his behavior. He couldn't help it, he didn't know what was wrong with
him either, so how could he possibly tell Ray? Ray who looked so much like
Roger and Roger who...Fraser shook his head and move to extend his friend
a hand up. 
         "Screw you, Fraser." The detective decided rolling to his feet on
his own volition. Just go to hell an' lee' me alone" 
         "Please Ray," Fraser implored. "I didn't mean to..." but Ray was
already headed out the door. Fraser chased him out the door, catching him
on the stairs. "Wait, Ray! Where are you going?" 
         "I'm goin' freakin' crazy, Benny!" Ray retorted belligerently as
he searched his pockets. "Gimmie my damn keys." 
         "I cannot do that, Ray." Fraser refused as the detective pushed
past him and started down the second flight of stairs. Fraser hopped over
the railing and landed in front of him on the stairwell. "Please don't
leave Ray...we can talk..." 
         "Gimmie' my God damn keys, Fraser!" Ray yelled at him. 
         "I can't Ray," he refused a second time, trying not to shrink in
front of the Italian's formidable fury, drunk or sober Ray Vecchio was not
someone to be messed with.  "You've been drinking. If you truly want to
leave then I will drive you home." 
         "I don't want you to drive me home, Fraser!" Ray exclaimed. "I
don't want you in my car! I don't want you in my life!" 
         "You don't mean that, Ray." Fraser protested continuing to block
the detective from getting past him. 
         "Go to hell, Fraser." He spat and Fraser lowered his eyes and
remained silent, trying to swallow the hurt Ray's words had inflicted,
despite the knowledge that it was just his friend's anger talking. "Give
me my key's Fraser. I'll call a cab, but I want my keys." 
         "Please come back upstairs with me, Ray." Fraser requested again,
meeting the Italian's heated gaze. 
         "Why should I?" Ray countered. 
         "We can talk and..." 
         "You don't want to talk!" Ray hissed. "You don't want anything to
do with me." Ray swayed slightly and Fraser automatically reached out to
steady him. "Get off'a me!" 
         "Ray, please." He tried again. "Just...just let me explain..." 
         "Explain what, Benny?" Ray demanded. "Explain why you suddenly
hate me? Why you can't stand to be near me?" Dark emerald eyes grew moist
with tears as Ray looked away. "Why you don't need me anymore?" 
         "I...you're wrong Ray." Fraser denied quietly. "Of course I do
need you, you are my friend." 
         "I don't understand, Benny." Ray whispered, a tear sliding down
his cheek. "Why don't you love me anymore? I love you; I don't hate you,
Benny. "I...I can't fix what I did unless you tell me what it was I did
wrong." 
         "Come back upstairs, Ray." Fraser suggested and after a moment
the detective turned and headed back up, brushing angrily at his cheek. 
         "I...I didn't mean to grab you Benny." He admitted once they were
inside.         "You...you're just makin' me so mad. You won't talk to me,
or tell me what I did or..." 
         "You did nothing wrong, Ray." Fraser assured closing the door
behind them and watching the detective slump on his bed. "It isn't you,
please believe that." 
         "Then what is it?" Ray demanded. "I have to know what's going on,
Fraser, you're silence is tearing me up inside." Fraser stood quietly;
struggling with the need to tell him and the fear and shame it would case.

         "I...I am just...not feeling myself, Ray." he offered. "I am sure
everything will be fine, soon, you just have to be patient." 
         "Why don't you feel yourself, Fraser?" Ray asked. "What has
changed?" 
         I have, Fraser wanted to scream. I wake up shaking at night and
am afraid to go back to sleep. I close my eyes and see his face, feel his
hands, raping me, hurting me, threatening me and it's my partner's face,
the man I am closest to causing me this pain. No matter how hard I try I
cannot regain my lost control, it has taken over my life and I am
powerless to stop the fear and the uncertainty that now rules me. 
          He wanted to say all of this to his friend but he couldn't,
because Roger was a Vecchio, Ray's very twin, he was family and with the
Vecchio's family was everything. He couldn't tell Ray what his brother had
done and he couldn't bring charges against Roger because the man had
threatened to assault his own sister if he did, and Fraser believe he
would do just that. So to protect Francesca and Ray from their brother's
brutality and Ma from knowing her son was a monster and criminal, Fraser
remained silent. They were all the family Fraser had and he couldn't
chance loosing them. 
         "I...I cannot tell you, Ray." He returned reluctantly. "I am
sorry but it is a ...personal problem and..." 
         "I'm supposed ta be your best friend, Fraser!" Ray tossed
tormented. "If ya can't tell me personal stuff what the hell is the point
of being friends?" Fraser tugged on his ear and shuffled his feet
uncomfortably. 
         "Perhaps we can discuss it at another time, Ray." He avoided.
"When you are not...." 
         "What?" Ray demanded when Fraser hesitated. "Drunk? I'm not
drunk, Benny, I may have had a few but I'm no where near drunk yet!" 
         "I merely want to wait until you are less...agitated, Ray."
Fraser offered and Ray scowled. 
         "That's not gonna happen anytime soon, Fraser." He decided
firmly. "You're the one that's making me agitated by not talking to me,
the less you talk the more agitated I get." 
         "I understand that, Ray." Fraser admitted quietly, wishing for
the entire world he had left the Italian at the bar and never started this
conversation. 
         "Talk to me, Benny." The plea in Ray's voice was almost Fraser's
undoing and he dropped defeated on the bed next to his partner. 
         "Alright, Ray." He sighed trying to form his words in a way that
would actually give the least amount of information to the detective.
"I...this is not easy to discuss, Ray. It is very, extremely personal and
you know I...I do not communicate well with such things." 
        Ray's hand went to Fraser's knee, patting it gently and Fraser
forced himself not to flinch. It was not Ray's fault, he kept telling
himself. Ray was affectionate, he always had been, Fraser needed to get
past his aversion to being touched by his best friend, but it was so damn
hard because he looked so much like Roger. 
         "It's okay, Benny." Ray offered gently. "Take your time, but talk
to me." Fraser made himself place his hand over the detective's and
squeeze it reassuringly, watching Ray smile slightly in relief, as if he
had been given a sweet gift. 
         "Ray, I...it is not you that I have the problem with." He finally
managed. "I...."  He rose from the bed, unable to deal with the intimacy
of the closeness a moment longer and berated himself for it. He moved to
look out the window, standing with his back to Ray, making it easier to
talk. It was the coward's way out, but Fraser was not feeling particularly
brave at this point. 
         "Ray," he began again and he cursed the tremor in his voice.
"I...I was.... assaulted a little while ago." He pushed on, knowing if he
stopped to think about what he was saying or heard the pity in Ray's voice
he would loose what little courage he had. "It...it was...it has been a
difficult experience to deal with and I suppose it has made me more
sensitive to...to other people touching me or being too close. Please
understand it is not about you, but about me, my concerns, my
irrational...my irrational fears." 
         "W...what kind of assault, Benny?" Ray asked, hoarsely and Fraser
firmly blinked back his tears at the sound of that wonderful voice holding
so much sympathy and pain for him. He loved this man so much; he did not
want to hurt him. 
         "It...it was a sexual assault, Ray." Fraser acknowledged as he
continued to stare out the window mortified. He heard the detective's
choking gasp and stiffened, preparing himself for the questions to follow.

         "Was it...was it a woman, Benny or a ...a..." 
         "It was a man, Ray." Fraser replied quietly and Ray Vecchio swore
violently, making him flinch. 
         "Why...who? Who did this Fraser?" Ray was behind him now, but
thankfully not touching him. "Who did this to you? What bastard put his
hands on you?" Fraser almost smiled, for Ray sounded more like a jealous
lover than his best friend, but his amusement did not last long. 
         "It is unimportant, Ray." He declined. 
         "Unimportant!" Ray exclaimed furious. "How the hell can you say
that? Who was he? Tell me and I'll.." 
         "Ray, please." Fraser finally turned toward him and was only
mildly shocked by the pallor of his partner's usually olive complexion.
"It no longer matters. It is over and I do not want to think about it." 
         "It's not over, Fraser." Ray refused. "Can't you see that?
Because of him you're different. You're afraid of me and..." Ray's words
halted abruptly as his eyes widened on the Mounties's tightly, drawn face.
"Oh Christ! I...I grabbed you. Benny I am so sorry I never...no wonder you
shoved me, I deserved it and..." 
         "Ray, no!" Fraser protested quickly. "It was not your fault,
please understand that. I simply reacted badly." 
         "No f**king wonder you reacted badly, Fraser!" Ray returned. "You
were raped!" Ray paled once again and his hands started to shake. "Oh God,
Fraser, you were raped." He whispered painfully, as he stumbled backwards
glad the bed was behind him to give him something soft to land on for his
legs no longer wished to support him. Rape was the worse crime possible in
the Italian's eyes, whether it was to a man, woman, or especially a child.

         "Ray, it will be alright." Fraser assured kneeling before him. "I
promise you everything will be the way it was, I...I just need some time
to...to adjust." 
         "Oh Benny." Ray cried as a single tear escaped down his cheek.
"God Benny, why didn't you tell me? Why are you trying to do this all
alone?" 
         "It is the way I am, Ray." Fraser returned remorsefully. "I
cannot change that part of me." 
         "But Benny, you...you need to see a counselor, you need to talk
about this." Ray encouraged. "If...if you aren't going to file charges on
the bastard you at least have to seek some kind of closure.You..."
Something else registered in the Italian's mind and he felt his heart and
stomach turn over violently. "B...Benny have you...did you go see..." 
         "Yes, Ray." Fraser replied guessing his friend's question. "I
have been tested, but they said it is still to early to know, I will
continue to test every four months for a little while." 
         Ray's hands started to shake as he dropped his head in his hand.
The thought that Fraser might become ill, might get AIDS and die because
of what this monster did to him was sickening Ray beyond reason. He could
loose his best friend, he might have to watch the life drain out of Fraser
as they faced such a deadly desease. He glanced at the Mountie  who was
watching him quietly and he saw the fear in the blue eyes, the fear of 
what happened and of what was to come. 
          "No one should go through this alone, Fraser." He stated
quietly, unable to help himself from reaching out to touch his partner's
pale cheek. 
         "I am not alone." Fraser returned his eyes shining brightly with
unshed tears as he met his friend's gaze. "I have you, Ray." Ray Vecchio
willed himself not to throw his arms around the Mountie, knowing that
would be the wrong thing to do just now, but he couldn't help wanting to
be close to him. Instead he gently reached for Fraser's hand and placed it
in both of his. 
         "You have me." He agreed softly. "I'll always be here for you,
Benny." 
         "Thank you kindly, Ray." Fraser accepted gratefully, then he
surprised himself by lowering his head to Vecchio's lap. "Thank you very
much." It felt so good to get it off his chest, to tell someone. His fears
that Ray would be appalled and disgusted were unwarranted and he was
deeply grateful. He coiled his knees under him as he felt Ray's gentle
hands caress the top of his head as though he were a precious child, and
rested his hands on Ray's knees. 
         "It'll be okay, Benny." Ray soothed, but there were tears in his
own voice. "I'll take care of you, I'm here." 
  

         Fraser inspected the snowman he was helping Maria and her
children build in the Vecchio's back yard. It was the first time he had
visited since the attack almost two weeks ago and he was trying to appear
comfortable and composed. Ma would not take no for an answer, even Ray had
pressured him that he needed to be around the people who cared about him
during this time, and to avoid suspicion he agreed to stop over for
supper. He and Ray had arrived early enough from work that the kids
immediately confiscated their favorite Mountie for playtime in the yard.
Diefenbaker pranced about joyfully; running from the kids and letting them
catch him for a roll in the snow. 
         "Looks a little like Tony." Maria teased as she added the knit
cap to the snowman's head and Fraser formed his face with their supply of
large buttons from Ma Vecchio's sewing chest. He smiled up at her and
surveyed the rotund little snowman as one of the kids ran over to him. 
         "Wow!" Jennifer exclaimed, throwing herself onto Fraser's back
where he knelt in the snow. "He looks just like Daddy!" Maria laughed as
Fraser caught the girl's legs in his hands and she wound her tiny arms
around his neck when he started to rise. "Horsy ride, Fraser!" 
         "Jen, he just helped you build a snow man, you're going to wear
him out!" her mother scolded, but Fraser simply smiled indulgently. 
         "What sort of horse are we today?' he asked her seriously and she
scrunched up he tiny face in thought. 
         "A palomino!" she decided, for she loved horses and knew many of
them by name. "A brown and white one with pretty spots." 
         "A palomino it is then." He agreed and proceeded to prance
effectively about the yard with her clinging to him and squealing
giddy-up. He made all the horse like noises and Diefenbaker chased about
his heels as though trying to corral them. Fraser ended up tripping over
him and they both fell into a snow bank as Francesca came to the back door
to call them for supper. 
         "Are you hurt?" Jennifer asked Fraser seriously as she rolled
onto his chest.      "Do I gotta shoot ya?" He chuckled. 
         "I think I'll live." He assured quickly. "For an apple I may even
be ready to ride again later." Jennifer giggled and scrambled off him,
running to ask her grandmother for an apple to give her horse as Maria
helped Fraser to his feet. 
         "You spoil her." She stated as she scooped up her son and watched
her other two children hurry inside after their sister. "You would make a
wonderful Father Benton." Fraser blushed and brushed the snow off of his
clothing as they stepped into the warmth of the house. Francesca accepted
their coats and scarves and hung them in the cloakroom off to the side. 
         "You're freezing!" she told Fraser as she caught one of his hands
between hers and rubbed the warmth into it. He blushed again, but did not
pull away until Roger appeared and he stiffened. Francesca looked up at
him and witnessed the flicker of fear and what looked like anger in the
deep cerulean eyes, and she frowned. 
         "Supper's on, the table, Sis." Her brother informed easily.
"How's it goin' Ben?" Fraser managed to nod but Francesca caught the
subtle tremble in the Mounties's stance, before he politely excused
himself to go and wash up. Francesca turned toward her brother, who moved
aside to let Fraser pass and she frowned, before following Roger to the
dining room. Ray Vecchio's eyes narrowed on his twin, noticing the way
Diefenbaker placed himself firmly between the two, then glanced up the
stairway toward his partner's departing form. 
  

         "Hey Fraser." Ray greeted as he pulled up to the consulate a few
days later and the Mountie and wolf entered the vehicle. 
         "Hello, Ray." Fraser offered with a small smile as he settled in
the front seat and placed his Stetson on the dash. The Mountie was getting
better around his friend and Ray was grateful, though he didn't push his
luck and kept contact at a minimum. Fraser was acting like his old self
again, at least while they were together, there was a difference when
Fraser was at his home and that concerned Ray. 
         "I was wondering, Benny." He began as they pulled out. "I know
it's hard to talk about, but I was just wanting to know exactly when you
were attacked." He watched Fraser's normally rigid posture become concrete
as a stone mask slipped over his partner's face. 
         "A...awhile ago, Ray." He replied. 
         "When, Fraser?' Ray pressed. "Give me a date." 
         "Why...why do you wish too know?" Fraser avoided. "It is no
longer relevant." 
         "Humor me, buddy." Ray insisted, pulling into a parking lot and
switching off the engine, then turning to look at Fraser. "Look me in the
eye and tell me when it happened." He wasn't surprised when Fraser avoided
his gaze and started tugging on his ear. 
         "Ray, I really need to get home I..." 
         "I'll get ya home, Benny." Ray promised. "Just as soon as you
answer my question." Fraser was silent. "Please, Benny, I need to know."
Fraser finally raised his eyes to Ray's. 
         "The...the twenty third, Ray." He admitted, unable to lie to him.

         "Of last month?" 
         "Yes, Ray." 
         "Thanksgiving Day." Ray supplied and Fraser nodded. "When you
were at my house?" The Mountie didn't respond. "Someone raped you while
you were staying in my house?" Fraser nodded and lowered his eyes. Ray
closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them again they were blazing
with emerald fury. 
         "Ray I..." Fraser began but Ray's low, barely controlled voice
cut him off. 
         "I'm gonna ask you this once Fraser." He stated. "I want the
truth, do you understand?" Fraser shook his head. 
         "Please don't ask me, Ray." He begged, his voice trembling with
distress. "I...I can't..." 
         "Was it Roger?' Ray demanded, ignoring the Mounties's plea. 
         "Ray please..." 
         "Was it Roger, Fraser?" he asked again, the fury mounting in his
voice. "Did my brother, my twin brother rape you in my house under my
roof?" A tear slipped out and streamed down Fraser's cheek. 
         "I...I can't..." he sobbed and Ray grabbed him by the arms and
shook him violently, forcing him to look at him in alarm. 
         "You tell me, Fraser." He commanded angrily. "You tell me the
truth. The truth Fraser! Was it Roger?" 
         "Yes!" Fraser cried, unable to contain his distress any longer.
"God yes, it was him and I thought...." He shook his head miserably. 
         "You thought it was me, until you met him downstairs?" Ray
finished quietly and Fraser nodded.  Ray could not disguise his hurt. "How
the hell could you think I would do that, Fraser?" 
         "I...I didn't know you had a twin, Ray!" Fraser declared
tormented. "I...I couldn't understand why...why you would...but you
smelled wrong...and I..." 
         "I...what?" Ray interrupted. "I smelled wrong, Fraser?" The
Mountie nodded and sniffed. "Are you saying I smell bad, Fraser?" 
         "No!" Fraser denied quickly. "You...everyone has a distinct odor
about them, not necessarily unpleasant, it is just the chemicals in their
skin mixed with the body products they use. I...I know your smell by the
after shave and hair gel you wear, along with the scent derived when those
things are mixed with your natural scent. It....it isn't bad, it's...well
rather nice, but I...you just...I mean he didn't smell right and yet
he...he looked like you and..." 
         "You could only assume that it was me." Ray concluded with a
frustrated sigh and Fraser nodded. 
         "I...I know you would never hurt me, Ray." He stated, wanting to
assure the detective that he wasn't to blame or that he held no ill will
against him. "I...it was a shock and when...when I saw you later in the
kitchen I...I reacted badly." 
         "Why did you leave that night without telling anyone, Benny?' Rya
asked. "Was it because of Roger?' Fraser nodded. "He tried to attack you
again?" Another nod and Ray swore. 
         "I...I couldn't tell you, Ray." He murmured regretfully. "He...he
is your brother and I..." 
         "You're my best friend, Benny." Ray interceded firmly. "You are
more of a brother to me then he ever was, do you understand?" 
         "Oh, but Ray..." Fraser protested. "Your family is very important
to you and I did not want to cause in trouble." He lowered his eyes.
"I...I was afraid you would hate me for making you choose between...oh
Ray-I couldn't do that. I love your family like they were my own and I
couldn't hurt them like that." 
         "Roger hurt you, Fraser." Ray reminded coolly. "He can't get away
with it." Fraser reached out and grabbed his partner's arm anxiously. 
         "Please, Ray." He pleaded. "Don't do anything, just...just let it
go, please. I...your mother would be so upset and Francesca...please Ray."

         "Why are you so worried about Frannie?" he demanded, he could
understand his concern for Ma. 
         "I...he said...please Ray, just leave it alone?" Fraser implored.
"I am asking for your word that you will not confront your brother,
please, promise me. It would serve no purpose." 
         "Damnit, Fraser!" Ray exclaimed angrily. "I can't let the bastard
get away with what he did to you." 
         "I will be fine, Ray." Fraser assured. "Truly, it's in the past.
Please, your promise, I don't want to cause any more trouble with your
family." 
         "I promise I won't..." he gritted his teeth and tried to stem his
fury. "I promise I won't kill him, Fraser, that's the best I can do." 
         "Ray, he's your brother!" 
         "No." Ray denied as he started the car again and pulled out. "He
is no brother to me and I won't charge him as such. I promise that I won't
tell Ma or anyone else, but Fraser I have to confront him, this can't go
on any longer with you being afraid of him and afraid of me." 
         "I'm not..." Fraser protested. 
         "Yes you are," Ray countered wretchedly.  "I know now it's
because I look like him, but it still hurts Fraser." Fraser lowered his
eyes ashamed. 
         "I am sorry Ray." 
         "Don't be. It isn't your fault." He reached across and patted
Fraser's shoulder. "I'll take care of it, Benny. Don't you worry." Fraser
wiped at his cheek angrily as another tear slipped down. What had he done?

  

         Ray found his brother fixing himself a sandwich in the kitchen
and his eyes narrowed. He reached to grab Roger and slam him face down on
the table violently. 
         "Hey! What...?" Roger exclaimed surprised. 
         "Shut up!" Ray hissed furiously. "You and me have some business
Bro." 
         "What the f**k you talkin' about, Man?" 
         "I'm talking about Fraser, you demented sonofabitch." Ray stated
twisting his brother's arm viciously behind him until Roger cried out in
pain "You raped my partner in my home and that isn't allowed, you hear
me?" 
         "Yer crazy!" Roger cried. "I never touched the guy! I only met
him a couple a weeks ago, you were there, you introduced us for Christ's
sake!" With each lie Ray twisted Roger's arm higher and pressed him
further against the hard surface of the table. 
         "You tell me what the f**k you did to him, Roger." He demanded.
"You tell me or I'll break yer goddamn neck." Roger was close to tears
from the pain that Ray was forcing on him. 
         "Okay!" he gasped. "Okay, I...I went to get a shower when I got
here. No one was home, or I didn't think they were." Ray twisted harder
and Roger cried out. "It's true! I just wanted a shower and the Mountie
was already in it. He said we could share, for pete's sake-I didn't think
he'd be, y'know up fer anything." 
         "That's bullshit!" Ray denied. "Fraser's as straight as they come
and he can't get past saying hello to a pretty girl without blushing,
don't you dare try to tell me he propositioned you." 
         "I swear it's true!" Roger cried and grimaced when Ray slammed
his head against the table and making him bite him bite his tongue. "Look,
why would I lie?" 
         "You've been a liar since the day you were born." Ray spat. "It's
all you know." 
         "Why are you taking some Canadian's word over mine? I'm your
brother." 
         "Fraser's never lied to me." Ray returned undeterred. 
         "Can't you see he's trying to split us up?" Roger reasoned
through his pain. "He can't handle that you have a twin. I see the way he
hangs on you, you're like some kind of God to him and he feels
threatened." 
         Ray hauled him upwards and shoved him forcibly out of the kitchen
and toward the door. Roger managed to get his balance long enough to take
a swing at him, only to have Ray dodge and land him a hard blow on the
jaw. Again he grabbed up his twin and practically threw him into the wall.

         "You lousy sonofabitch!" Roger screamed finally, his own rage at
full boil as he slammed caught Ray a solid blow to the ribs. This only
proved to enrage the already furious detective and he lunged at Roger,
knocking them both into the living room and over the sofa onto the coffee
table, which shattered under their weight. 
         "I want you out of here." Ray demanded as struggled. 
         "I have just as much right to be here as you do, Bro." Roger
insisted trying to get some leverage to get the slightly heavier twin off
of him. 
         "You gotta choice, leave walkin' or leave in a box, what's it
gonna be?" Ray warned. 
         "I think Ma would have something to say about that." Roger tossed
defiantly, using his knees to toss Ray off of him and roll back to his
feet after him. 
         "Ma's got no say," Ray gasped fending off his brother's blows and
managing to land a blow to his brother's chin.  "Pop left the house to me
and she knows what I say goes." 
         "Well, I'm not going." Roger refused firmly, as he managed to pin
Ray under him. He leaned close and whispered in his ear. "Yah, I f**ked
yer partner, and he enjoyed it, yer just jealous you didn't get to him
first, bro."  He was unprepared for Ray's sudden strength and soon found
their positions reversed, only with Ray's gun aimed at his temple and a
strangling hand around his throat holding him down. 
         "You bastard!" Ray sobbed, furious even as tears started to rein
down his cheeks. "Yer a sick, demented bastard just like Pop and I'm not
takin' it anymore." Roger paled; he knew this time he had pushed Ray too
far. " Do you have it? Did you give it to him, Roger, DID YOU!" Roger
struggled to breath and shook his head. 
         "What?" he gasped. "I...What are you talking about?" 
         "Is Fraser gonna die you motherf**ker?" Ray screamed. "Did you
give him AIDS?" 
         "N...no!" Roger croaked. "I...I'm clean I swear!" He watched
Ray's shoulder's sag with relief only briefly, before he felt the barrel
of his brother's gun pressing hard into his temple. 
         "I'm gonna put you outta yer misery like I should have done with
Pop," he whimpered miserably, though his aim was steady. "If the bastard
hadn't gotten himself killed driving drunk I'd a been next in line. It
would've been him or me, now it's between me and you, Bro. You will not
hurt this family again." 
         "Ray, don't!" Roger croaked trying to pull his brother's hand
away from his throat. "I...I'm sorry, I...I didn't...I'm yer brother!" 
         "No!" Ray shook his head. "Not anymore." Roger watched as Ray's
hand began squeezing the trigger, but it was suddenly yanked upward as a
shot rang out and Roger could breathe once more. Ray stared in shock as
the form in red dropped to his knees beside him and he scrambled off his
brother to rush toward his partner. 
         "Ray!" Fraser managed weakly, holding his stomach as he struggled
to hold himself upright. 
         "Jesus Christ!" Ray exclaimed appalled as he tossed his gun aside
and applied pressure to the wound in the Mounties's stomach as Roger
crawled to the telephone and dialed 911. "Oh Jesus, Fraser! I shot you!" 
         "It...it was an accident, Ray." Fraser soothed faintly, even as
he felt the darkness beckoning him. Ray carefully lay him across his lap,
keeping pressure to the wound. 
         "I'm sorry, Benny!" he cried. "I...I didn't mean...why did you do
it?" 
         "I...I couldn't let you...kill him, Ray" Fraser murmured. "He's
your brother." He stiffened in pain for a moment then relaxed again as it
passed, replaced with a hollow cold feeling as the blood slowly oozed from
his body. "I miscalculated, when I grabbed your hand I..." 
         "Hush, Benny." Ray soothed, his free hand tenderly brushing
Fraser's hair from his eyes. "Hush Caro, you'll be fine, I promise." 
         "Oh...oh dear." Fraser gasped as he noticed that he was lying
across the detective's lap for the first time. "I...I will ruin your nice
suit, Ray." 
         "I don't give a damn about my suit, Fraser." He retorted as he
prayed for the ambulance to hurry. 
         "I'm cold, Ray." Fraser murmured his eyes drifting closed. 
         "Give me that afghan." Ray ordered Roger who quickly complied.
Ray grabbed his brother's hand as he started to move away. "Tell him." he
demanded and Roger's eyes widened on the dying Canadian whom had just
saved his life. "You tell him now, Goddamn it or they'll be takin' you out
beside him." 
         "I...I'm clean, Fraser." Roger murmured, unable to meet the cold,
anguished look in the Mounties's deep blue eyes. "You...you don't have to
worry I'm...I don't have AIDS." Ray released him as if the mere touch
scorched his hand and quickly wound the patterned quilt around his
partner, ignoring his brother who had backed away from them with a strange
look on his face 
         "Here ya are, Benny, snug as a bug. Better?" 
         "Thank you kindly, Ray." Fraser whispered and Ray knew it wasn't
just for the warmth of the afghan that his friend was grateful for. He
watched Fraser's eyes roll upwards until only white could be seen, then
they fluttered closed and Ray knew he was loosing him. 
         "Don't you die on me Fraser!" he warned, not now that they
learned the Mountie was safe at least from his other worry. "Don't you
dare die on me. Open yer eyes." Fraser remained still. "Stay with me,
Fraser, look at me when I'm speaking too you, it's rude not to." Still not
even a flicker in the Mounties's eyelashes. "That's an order Constable!"
Fraser's eyes flickered open just as the sounds of sirens sounded in the
driveway. Thank God, Ray thought and held Fraser tighter. 
         "I hear bells, Ray." Fraser sighed as Roger let the paramedics
inside. "May we have some ice cream off the truck?" 
         "That's the front door, ya moron." Ray teased affectionately and
Fraser almost smiled. "The medics are here, so stay awake for them okay?" 
         "Okay, Ray." Fraser agreed sleepily, even as his eyes drifted
closed once again. "I'll be okay, Ray, really." 
  

         At the hospital Ray paced like a caged animal, waiting for some
word on Fraser. Francesca and his mother, who demanded to know what
happened, joined him soon after. Ray could only tell them that he had
accidentally shot Fraser. 
         "Again!" Francesca snapped her own nerves on edge. "Great going,
Ray I guess you'll kill him next time!" 
         "Shut up, Frannie!" Ray yelled and she knew he was as close to
going over as she, watching him slump into a chair and covered his face
with his hands. "Oh Christ! I can't believe I shot him again, I
can't..."Ray felt as though he was about to become violently ill, even as
his mother placed her arms around him. 
         "It was an accident, Raimundo." She chided softly. "Do not blame
yourself, I am sure Bentino will not." 
         "How many people shoot their own partners, twice?" He shook his
head in disbelief. "Oh God, Ma...if he dies I'll..." 
         "He won't die!" Francesca insisted firmly. "Fraser is a survivor,
he'll be just fine, stop thinking like that." Ray glanced up at her, tears
in his eyes and she dropped to her knees to comfort him. "I'm sorry for
what I said, it isn't your fault. Benton will be okay, Ray." He held her
and allowed his tears to fall as their mother watched her children
approvingly. Such love between them, that they tried to hide with their
petty bickering and harsh remarks, but there was great love there and she
was proud of them both. 
         "Mr. Vecchio?" The doctor inquired as he approached and all three
bolted to their feet concerned. 
         "How...how is he?" Ray demanded. 
         "He is out of danger." The doctor supplied confidently. "We got
to him in time. Luckily the bullet didn't pierce anything vital and it
went straight through." 
         "Thank God!" Francesca cried in relief as Mrs. Vecchio blessed
herself and let loose a string of prayer in Italian. 
         "C...can I see him?" Ray asked and the doctor nodded. 
         "Only for a few minutes, though. He is still under heavy sedation
and we gave him something for the pain so he may seem out of it." He
warned and Ray nodded, giving his mother and sister a quick hug before
hurrying to his friend's room. Fraser was once again hooked up to the hot
monitor, an IV drip and laying pale against the stark white bed sheets.
Ray didn't want to disturb him, so he quietly took a quick look, to make
sure for himself that the Mountie was breathing, then moved to leave. 
         "Ray?" Fraser's weak voice called and the detective turned back
to move closer to the bed. The Mountie's eyes ere slightly dazed from the
medication. 
         "I'm here, Benny." He replied as Fraser raised his hand and Ray
folded it in his. 
         "I told you I would be okay." He commented and Ray smiled. 
         "You never lie, I know." He returned. 
        "No ice cream?' the Mountie asked and Ray chuckled. 
        "I'll bring you some tomorrow." he promised, though his lower lip
quivered. "I..I'm so sorry Benny. I can't believe I shot you again." 
        "You are a menace, Ray." Fraser teased. "Imagine if I was licenced
to carry, we would probably end up killing each other." He had meant it as
a joke but Ray's emotions were on overload and his guilt haunted him. 
        "I didn't mean it." he moaned dejectedly. 
        "I know, Ray." he assured softly. "Blue is a wonderful collar on
you, Ray." The detective glanced down at the cobalt silk shirt he wore and
grinned. 
        "Ohh, they gave you the good stuff didn't they?" he teased the
Mountie and Fraser smiled coyly. 
        "The best." he agreed happily. "I think they should sell it openly
at convience stores, it makes everything so much nicer." Ray laughed. 
        "Yer not even on the same plane as the rest of us are you, Benny?"
he smiled and Fraser giggled. 
        "Air Canada is the only way to fly, Ray." he commented this his
gaze grew more intens and he offered his friend a hesitant smile, as his
grip tightened on Ray's. "Forgive him, Ray." Fraser whispered. "I have." 
         "How can you, Benny?" Ray shook his head as his eyes filled with
tears again.   "After what he did to you..." 
         "He is your brother, Ray." Fraser reminded. "Your twin brother,
he will always be your family." He squeezed the detective's hand again.
"Just as I will always be your friend." 
         "Benny, I wanted to kill him." Ray confessed shakily and he was
surprised when Fraser reached up and pulled his head down to his chest. 
         "I know, Ray." He admitted gently as Ray settled on the bed next
to him and allowed the Mountie to hold him with his free arm, the other
was connected to the IV. "I did too, at first, but I'm over that now.
You'll get over it too." 
         "I don't think I will, Fraser." Ray denied his words slightly
muffled against his partner's chest. He was so glad that Fraser no longer
seemed afraid of him, which was ironic because he had just shot him for a
second time. If Ray was Fraser he'd have headed for the hills every time
Ray picked up a gun from now on. 
         "You will, Ray." Frase assured sleepily, his hand caressing his
friend's back soothingly. "Ray?" 
        "Yah Benny." 
        "I think I am in love with your sister." Fraser commented drowsily
and Ray's head came up startled and he gazed down at his partner, who had
already started to drift. "Ray?" 
        "I'm here Benny." he assured. 
        "I love you, Ray." he sighed as he finally drifted off to sleep
again. Ray leaned forward and kissed Fraser's cheek tenderly. 
         "I love you, too Benny." He vowed. "I'm never gonna let anyone
hurt you again." 
 Francesca Vecchio moved away from the doorway of Fraser's room and walked
slowly down the hall, deep in thought. 
  

         When Ray returned to the house hours later, Roger was seated in
the living room watching television, as though nothing had ever happened
there earlier that day. He was on what was no doubt his forth or fifth
drink of the evening and he barely acknowledged his brother's presence,
other than with a flip remark. 
         "How's lover boy?" he inquired and was totally unprepared for his
brother's lunge. Mrs. Vecchio, Tony and Francesca walked in as they were
struggling with each other, landing blows sporadically to against the
other. 
         "Stop this!" Ma ordered appalled as Tony tried to separate them.
"How is this for brother's to act? Has there not been enough bloodshed in
this house today?" Ray shrugged his brother in law away and wiped the
blood from his lip. 
         "I want him out of here!" he demanded angrily, indicating Roger
who Francesca was helping to his feet. 
         "Why?" his mother questioned. "He is a member of this family I
will not turn him out into the street." 
         "It's where he belongs!" Ray exclaimed, fully prepared for his
mother's slap. 
         "We do not fight in this house!" she stated just as angry. "I
will not allow you to throw Roger out without a good reason, so tell me
why." 
         "Because I said so." Ray returned his eyes narrowing on his twin.
"I'm the head of this family and I say he goes." 
         "I hate to break it to you, Bro." Roger retorted. "But I'm three
minutes older than you." 
         "Pop left me the house, not you." Ray informed glowering at him. 
         "Why do you want him to leave, Raimundo?" Ma insisted. "Tell me."
Ray glared at the smug look on Roger's face, then back at his mother. He
couldn't tell her why and Roger knew he would not confront their mother
with Fraser's accusation. 
         "Forget it." Ray spat storming out and slamming the front door
moments later. Mrs. Vecchio turned to her other son. 
         "What is this about?" she demanded. 
         "Ah, that stupid Mountie of his is fillin' his head with crap,
Ma." Roger insisted as Francesca offered him a cloth for his nose to stop
the bleeding. "I think he's trying to come between Ray, and me I think
he's jealous of our relationship." Mrs. Vecchio regarded her son quietly a
moment, then asked Francesca and Tony to leave them alone. Her children
left the kitchen immediately as Roger offered her a small smile.   "Sorry
about the mess, Ma. I'll clean it up, I don't know what's gotten into Ray,
he..." 
         "Be very careful, Roger." Mrs. Vecchio warned suddenly, catching
him by surprise. "Benton Fraser may not be of our blood, but he is a
member of this family. I will not have you slander him any more than I
would allow you to disrespect your brothers and sisters." 
         "But Ma..." Roger began. 
         "It is said, my son." She stated. "I will not repeat myself and I
pray I will not have to. Do not take my words lightly. I love Bentino as
my own, he has suffered much in his life time and I will not allow any
further pain to befall him, not while I have a say about it. Am I
understood, Roger." 
         "Yes Ma'am." Roger agreed contrite, swallowing his rage. How
dared this outsider come between him and his family? Everyone was
defending him and he wasn't even blood! It wasn't fair and Roger didn't
intend to stand for it. He'd make the Mountie pay and win his family back.

  
  

         Fraser tossed and turned on his bed, trying to dispel the
memories that continued to assail him. Roger's hands on him, groping,
pinching. Roger's mouth ravaging him from both ends the pain and
humiliation of being penetrated and forced to suck the other man's penis.
It was all too much, it had been almost three weeks and Fraser didn't seem
able to get past it. 
         He was startled when a knock sounded at his door and he quickly
rose to pull on his jeans before answering. It had been just a few days
since he was released from the hospital, and although he had told Ray he
had forgiven Roger's actions against him, he had lied. It was the first
time he had even lied to Ray, but he wanted to calm the detective before
he ended up in prison for the murder of his twin. 
         "Hi, Fraser." Francesca Vecchio greeted shyly and Fraser
momentarily had a flash back to when he showed up at his door in nothing
but a leather negligee. He blushed and she must have guessed his thoughts
because she smiled and opened her coat, revealing a modest pink sweater
and blue jeans. "I come in peace and fully clothed." Fraser bit his lip to
keep from smiling and stepped aside to let her enter. 
         "I...how can I help you, Francesca?" he asked closing the door
and taking her coat politely to drape over a chair in the kitchen. Dief
hurried over for a quick rub, then returned to his position on the bed.
Francesca glanced at the rumpled sheets and then back at Fraser's slightly
tousled appearance. 
         "Did I wake you?" she asked concerned and he shook his head. 
         "I was not yet asleep." He assured moving to put the kettle on.
"Tea?" 
         "Sure." She agreed a little nervously. "I...I thought maybe we
could talk, Benton." 
         "Certainly, Francesca." Fraser replied retrieving two cups from
the cupboard.   "What do you wish to talk about?" 
         "You." Francesca informed bluntly, watching the cup almost slip
from his fingers. 
         "M...me?" he repeated surprised. "I...I don't understand..." She
moved to stand behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder to gently turn
him toward her. 
         "It's okay, Benton." She whispered gently, cradling his face in
her hands. "It's not your fault, there's nothing to be ashamed of."
Fraser's eyes widened in shock. 
         "I...I don't..." Surely Ray didn't tell her, he couldn't have. He
had promised he wouldn't. 
         "I understand, Benton." She insisted, holding him fast when he
tried to escape. 
         "Who...who...?" 
         "No one told me." She replied guessing his question. "I know the
signs." 
         "S...signs?' he whispered and she nodded. 
         "We all do." 
         "W...we? I...I don't understand, Francesca." Fraser stated
confused. 
         "All of us, Benton." She whispered softly, tears shining in her
eyes. "All the people it has ever happened to can see one of their own
suffering." 
         "Oh no, Francesca!" he croaked, his composure shattering. "No,
not...I...I am so sorry." Francesca didn't know what she had expected his
reaction to be, but it certainly wasn't that. The pain in his voice, the
distress in his eyes took her breath away. 
         "It's okay." She assured quickly, blinking back her own tears.
God how she loved this sweet vulnerable man.  "You'll get through it, just
like I did." Fraser traced her cheek with a tortured tenderness, his
usually noble face filled with remorse. 
         "How could he?" he whispered, caught in his own personal
nightmare for her. "You are his sister, I...I never should have told Ray
I..." 
         "What?" Francesca gasped and Fraser realized he had
misunderstood. He had thought Roger had made good on his threat, oh dear!
What would he do now? What could he say? 
         "I...I nothing I...." he stammered as Francesca's eyes widened. 
         "Tell me what you meant by that." She demanded. 
         "Francesca I..." 
         "Tell me, Fraser!" she exclaimed urgently. "You said his own
sister, do you think Ray raped me?" Fraser adamantly shook his head,
wishing now he had never opened the door to her. "Then you must
mean...Roger? My brother Roger?" 
         "Please..." he pleaded desperately. "I...I didn't mean..." 
         "Tell me why you think that, Fraser." She ordered and she
shoulder so much like Ray that Fraser almost smiled at the comparison.
"You tell me right now why the hell you think my own brother would rape
me, Fraser!" a sob escaped Fraser's throat and he tore himself away from
her, moving to stand my the window, which was partially open and allowing
the cool winter air inside. 
         "I...I don't know why I said that, Francesca." He denied. "I...I
just misunderstood..." 
         "How could you misunderstand something like that?" she asked
walking over to him and pulling him around to face her. She gasped at the
pain in his eyes; she saw the answer written on his face despite his
attempts to hide it. "It was Roger? Roger, my brother Roger raped you, is
that why you think he would do the same to me?" Fraser shook his head,
whether in denial or frustration she wasn't sure as she tried to digest
the news. 
         "Please, Francesca." he begged. "Just leave me alone!" 
         "Talk to me, Benton." She pressed catching him by the arms.
"Please, for the love of God, you have to tell me!" 
         "I...I can't..." he sobbed moving away to drop onto his bed and
put his face in his hands. "He...said he'll hurt you if I told anyone.
Dear God, please, Francesca, just leave it be!" Francesca knelt before him
and pulled his hands away from his face. 
        "What did he threaten to do, Benton?" she asked quietly as she
held onto his trembling hands and watched the tears chorus down his
cheeks, aware that her heart was breaking. 
         "He...he said whatever he didn't get...get from me he would
t...take from you." Fraser moaned dismayed. "He...he said he would rape
and k...kill you if I...Oh Francesca! I...I couldn't let him...not to you
I...so I...I kept quiet." 
         Francesca bolted to her feet and pressed her hand to her mouth to
keep from vomiting. The idea that her brother, someone she grew up with,
that she loved and trusted, would commit such an act was bad enough, but
the idea that Fraser, the man she loved beyond all reason, would suffer in
silence to protect her was almost too much to bare. She turned back around
and knelt beside him again, pulling him into her arms, thinking no wonder
he had acted so strangely around Ray, who looked so much like Roger. 
         "Ssssh, Caro." She soothed rocking him gently in her arms. "It's
okay, you don't have to be afraid anymore." 
             "I...I thought if I told anyone, you would all hate me
for...for trying to tear your family apart and...you...you all mean so
much to me, Francesca." He whispered forlornly. "I...I don't know what I
would do without you and Ray and Ma and Maria and the kids, you are all I
have." He shook his head even as he clung to her.             "I...every
time I looked at Ray I...I say Roger and I...I couldn't help...I didn't
want to be touched I didn't...I couldn't control..." 
         "Hush, my darling." She suggested gently. "It's all right. We are
all still here and we will all still love you." 
         "I...I can't seen to...to rid myself of his...the feel of him
on...on me, Francesca." He admitted quietly and she nodded, she understood
that feeling well. 
         "Let me help, Benton." She offered. 
         "H...how?" 
         "Let me...erase his touch." She suggested pressing her lips to
his gently. "Replace it with...with mine, if that's okay?" Fraser stared
at her and wiped at his eyes. 
         "I...I can't ask you to...you don't have to..." he began but she
silenced him with a finger at his lips. 
         "Benton, I want to." She insisted softly. "You must know how
much..." she hesitated a hair's breath from professing her love, sensing
he wasn't ready for that yet and she was really trying not too be pushy.
"Maybe...maybe it would make it worse, maybe...I probably disgust you
because..." 
         "No!" Fraser denied quickly. "You are nothing like him,
Francesca." She smiled shyly and lowered her eyes. "I...I would like to,
very much...but I don't think..." His words were silenced by the feel of
her lips on his. 
        At first it both alarmed and embarrassed him, but then the
tenderness in her kiss relaxed him and he welcomed it, as she coiled her
arms around his neck. She rose from her knees, never breaking the kiss and
gently pushed him backward on the bed, but fear overcame him as he
remembered the brutality of Roger's kiss and his body grew rigid.
Immediately Francesca broke away. 
         "It's okay." She assured when she saw the apology in his eyes, as
she pulled his hand up to cup her cheek then lay down beside him. "You
control it. Whatever you want." Fraser's hand shook as it caressed her
cheek, tracing the outline of her lips and the sweet smoothness of her
chin. He raised himself up on his elbow and stared down at her. 
         "You are so beautiful, Francesca." He murmured as his fingers
traced a path down over her throat. She blushed and smiled prettily. 
         "So are you." She returned. 
         "Ray...Ray will be angry with me." He commented and Francesca
darted her tongue out to wet the thumb that had returned to her lips. 
         "This isn't about Ray." She replied. "It's about you and me,
Frase. Just you and me." He nodded and lowered his head to claim her lips,
giving into the comfort she was offering him. 
          Francesca sighed against him and wound her arms around him once
more, pulling him closer. Fraser knew this was probably taking advantage
of the situation, but he couldn't stop himself from wanting to make love
to her. He had dreamed about it for so long and then after the attack, all
he could see was Roger filling his nightmares. He wanted his dreams of the
pretty Italian woman with the phantom eyes and the teasing smile back. He
wanted her touch to replace what Roger had done to him and mostly he
wanted to feel safe and loved. 
         "Oh Benton." She moaned against his mouth as he deepened the kiss
and tentatively slid his tongue inside. She wrapped hers around it,
teasing, sucking, playing with her new toy and drawing gasps of excitement
from the man next to her. She could feel his arousal pressed against her
leg and flushed with anticipation. 
         "Francesca!" he whispered urgently. "Oh God! I...I don't...I
can't..." She understood what he was saying, he needed her but time was
short, so she quickly managed to rid them both of their clothing and slid
under the covers. 
          Fraser's hands caressed her body, like that of a blind man,
memorizing every inch and contour by the gentle touch of his fingers, in a
way that sent shivers through her. She returned the favor, exploring his
chest and torso with her hands and mouth. When she reached down to take
him between her lips, he stiffened and pushed her away. Ashamed he pulled
his knees up to his chest and linked his arms around him. 
         "I...I'm sorry." He sobbed mortified, but Francesca simply pulled
the blanket over them and straightened his legs out gently. 
         "It's okay." She whispered softly as she pulled him down to lay
beside her, he was trembling. "We'll just lay here and hold each other.
It's okay, Benton." Fraser settled beside her, again tears streaked his
pale cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him and softly hummed one of
her favorite lullabies that she often sang to her nieces and nephew. Stay
awake, don't rest your head 
Don't lie down upon your bed 
While the moon drifts in the skies 
Stay awake don't close your eyes 
Though the world is fast asleep 
Though your pillow's soft and deep 
You're not sleepy, as you seem 
Stay awake don't nod and dream 
Stay awake don't nod and dream Fraser's breathing was slow and even when
she finished and she dropped a gentle kiss on his forehead, before
drifting off herself. 
  

         Fraser awoke with only Diefenbaker beside him and as the memory
of what occurred the night before he gasped in alarm. Had he just dreamed
Francesca being here or had it been real? He thought back to their
conversation, thought back to the tears and the soothing words and
the...Oh Dear! He had...they had...they had been naked together at one
point, but how far did they go? 
         He pushed back the covers and grabbed his underwear and jeans,
pulling them on quickly, just as a knock sounded at his door and he froze.
Oh God! It's Ray, it has to be, picking him up for work. He'll know, the
minute he looks at Fraser he'll see the guilt and he'll...Ray would kill
him! He'd shoot him, string him to a tree and lynch him...he'd... The
knock sounded again and this time Francesca Vecchio's sweet voice carried
through. 
         "Frase? Are you awake?" He practically ran to the door in relief
and opened it to her. 
         "Francesca!" he exclaimed pulling her inside and shutting the
door again. "I...I am so glad it is you." 
         "Who'd you think it would be?" she asked puzzled as she placed
the bag of coffee and bagels on the table, then shrugged out of her coat. 
         "I...I though perhaps, Ray..." he admitted and she shook her head
as she started to unload the bag. 
         "I don't know why yer afraid of Ray, Frase." She tsked as she
tossed a bagel to the eager wolf beside her. "He's a big pussycat,
really." 
         "I...I am not afraid of him, Francesca." Fraser pointed out
quickly. "I...I simply do not wish to...anger him." 
         "Yah, well, good luck." She dismissed. "That's like trying to
keep a football team from gettin' jock itch, there's no way around it."
Fraser blushed and then chuckled. "Here, I brought breakfast." 
         "Thank you kindly, Francesca." He returned and settled opposite
her at the table. "I...Francesca?" 
         "Yah?" she asked handing him a bagel and coffee. 
         "I...Did we...I don't really remember..." he stammered
embarrassed and she smiled at him. 
         "You fell asleep, Benton." She informed calmly and he blushed. 
         "I...I am so sorry, Francesca I..." 
         "Don't worry about it." She assured. "We were both pretty
stressed out last night." 
         "Does...does that mean you...you regret..." 
         "No, it means we should wait for a more, relaxed time to...get
together." She remarked and Fraser nodded relieved. 
        "Ah...yes, that would probably be best." She smiled and they
settled down to eat. 
  
  

         Ray pulled up outside his house and got out, encouraging Fraser
to do the same, which the Mountie did reluctantly. It waas three days
until Christmas and Ray was intent on the Mountie spending it with the
family, so he needed to get him used to visiting again. Roger usually made
himself scarce when the Mountie was around, which Ray suspected was either
out of guilt or fear of what Ray would do to him later. They entered the
house and the delicious smell of homemade spaghetti filled their nostrils.

         "Hi, Ray, Hello, Benton." Francesca greeted as she stirred the
sauce on the stove. 
         "Where's Ma?" Ray asked leaning over to taste the spoonful of
sauce she offered. "Hmmm, not bad." 
         "Ma's at Gene's down the street." Francesca replied. "Tony, Maria
and the kids are at the park and Roger is gone." She noticed the surprised
look on both men's faces. 
         "Gone where?' Ray demanded suspiciously and she shrugged. 
         "Dunno." She returned calmly as she removed the spaghetti from
the stove. "Drain this will ya?" Ray donned some mitts and moved to dump
the noodles into the colander already placed there. "Want to taste
Benton?" Fraser tried the sauce and complimented her on it, though she
could tell he was preoccupied by her news. 
         "So, where did he go, Frannie?" Ray asked again, returning to
their earlier conversation as he removed the mitts and placed the pot in
the other side of the large sink. 
         "You know, Roger, Ray." She dismissed as she pulled the garlic
bread out of the oven, just as the other Vecchio's could be heard in the
hall. "He comes he goes, whenever he wants. I was laying down and the
phone rang, got up to answer it and saw him headed out with his bag
packed." 
         "Who's bag is packed, Francesca?" their mother asked. 
         "Roger's." she supplied as she handed the stack of plates to
Maria to place on the dining room table. "He split this after noon, didn't
say where he was going, just muttered something about getting out of here
for awhile." 
         "Oh." Ma replied thoughtfully and Fraser expected her to be sad
that her son had left so abruptly, but the older woman simply clapped her
hands together and smiled. "Well, lets eat then. Bentino, you will join us
of course. Maria hurry and set the table, Francesca did you prepare the
salad as I asked? Oh Good I see that you did. Raimundo fetch the wine
please." The Vecchio children hurried about to carry out her orders as she
grabbed the sauce off the stove and headed for the table. Fraser accepted
the salad from Francesca who carried the bread. 
         "Francesca?" he asked suddenly, noticing a dark, red mark on her
cheek. "What happened to your face?" She smiled and shrugged sheepishly. 
         "When I got up to get the phone, I wasn't quite awake and I
walked into the door, stupid hmmm?" Fraser nodded but his gaze never left
her as she set the bread on the table. Fraser wanted to freeze this moment
in time as he watched the Vecchio family with a serene affection. 
         Ray was pouring wine into the glasses as his nieces and nephew
chattered on about their time at the park. Maria was setting neatly folded
napkins by each plate and Francesca was arranging the vase of flowers in
the center. Tony was sitting his youngest son in the high chair and Ma was
making sure the food was placed within reach of everyone around the table.
Their chatter and easy familiar movements made Fraser feel safer than he
had in a long time, and he felt as he always did when he came here, it was
like coming home. 
         "You gonna stand there all day, Fraser?" Ray teased bringing the
Mountie out of his revere. Fraser hurried to set the salad where Ma
instructed then took his seat between Ray and Francesca. They all joined
hands once again and bowed their heads. 
         "May...may I say the grace, Ray?" Francesca asked suddenly, aware
that everyone was staring at her surprised. 
         "Sure, Frannie." He agreed quietly and bowed his head as his
sister began. 
         "Lord we thank you for the food you have given us and for the
loving hands that prepared our feast for consumption. Lord we give thanks
for your generosity in giving us such a fine and loving family and ask
that you forgive us any actions that may have caused other's distress or
grief. We ask that you watch over each and every one of us and that you
extend your blessing to all those close to us whom we love." 
         Fraser felt her squeeze his hand tightly as everyone echoed amen,
and then everyone began to eat. Mrs. Vecchio set a plate for Diefenbaker
on the floor and the wolf gobbled up his serving readily. Francesca
offered Fraser some bread and he smiled as he selected a piece before
passing the plate to Ray. She slipped her hand under the table and folded
her hand in his once more, before picking up her fork and proceeding to
eat. If Ray noticed the discrete look they shared, he made no comment
about it, as his sister got a far away look in her eyes. Francesca's mind
turned backwards to earlier that day, when she had been alone in the
house. 
  
  

         Francesca waited quietly in Roger's room, the shades drawn and
the lights off. Maria and Tony were at the park with the kids, Ma was
playing bridge at the house down the street and Ray was at work. Francesca
listened as the car pulled into the drive, then a moment later the door
slamming and someone walking up to the house.  She remained silent as the
person climbed the stairs and a second later the door opened and Roger
stepped inside. He was not expecting the blow that felled him and he cried
out then stared up in shock at the smaller woman standing over him.
Francesca slowly closed the door and lowered the aluminum bat she wielded
in her tiny hands. 
         "Frannie! What the f**k are you doing?" he demanded appalled
holding his dislocated shoulder, as he struggled to rise only to have the
bat crash down on his back. "Christ! What...Frannie what...?" 
         "Stay there, Roger." She warned quietly as she carefully stepped
around him to retrieve a piece of stationary from the nightstand and
dropped it and a pen on the floor beside him. "Sign that." Roger glanced
at the paper dazed and his eyes widened. 
         "Are you out of yer f**king mind!" he screamed angrily, pushing
away the confession she had written for him. "I'm not signing that." He
cried out as another blow landed, across his legs this time. Francesca,
usually mild mannered, was Itallian through to her soul when her temper
finally snapped, but even Roger had never seen her this furious. 
         "There are two hundred and six bones in the human body, Roger."
She stated evenly, though her breathing had quickened dramatically. "How
many do you want me to break?" Roger managed to crawl over to the closest
wall and prop himself up against it, still holding his shoulder and
staring at her nervously. 
         "What's this about, Frofou?" He asked, trying to maintain a soft,
confused tone in his voice. "Why do you want me to sign a confession to
something I never did?" 
         "Don't you lie to me, Roger!" she screamed angrily and he
actually flinched in the face of her wrath. " I'm not as stupid as
everyone thinks I am. I thought you had changed, each time you come home I
give you another chance to redeem yourself, but you've run out of
chances." 
         "Frannie I don't understand..." Roger tried. 
         "You're leaving, Roger." She decided. "You're done with hurting
this family, you crossed the line this time and..." 
         "Crossed the line how?" Roger demanded. "I love this family, I
would never..." 
         "You raped Fraser!" she accused and he barely batted an eyelash. 
         "Are you nuts?" he tossed. "Why the hell would I do that?"
Francesca didn't have an answer but he sensed her hesitation and pressed
onwards. "Is that what the Mountie told you Frofou? It isn't true. I think
he's jealous because he's afraid I might take Ray's affections away form
him or something. He hates me, he resents me being here, can't you see
that?" 
         "Fraser doesn't have a resentful or hateful bone in his body."
She defied firmly. "He knows Ray will always be his best friend, he's not
afraid of you taking Ray away." 
         "Com'on, Frannie." Roger urged. "You see how the Mountie tenses
up around me, he gets this look in his eyes like he wants to tear my
throat out." 
         "Because of what you did to him!" Francesca cried and Roger shook
his head. 
         "I didn't do anything to him, Frannie." He denied, managing to
climb to his feet finally. "I barely know him. If I wanted to have sex,
I'd do it with a woman, not some Canadian lumber jack." Francesca
hesitated again, his words made sense, she wanted to believe him, but she
knew Fraser and she knew the Mountie would never make something like this
up just to drive a wedge between Ray and Roger. Besides, she had seen the
fear in Fraser's eyes when she confronted him; she saw the torment he was
going through. 
         Her brother sensed her inner struggle and quickly pounced, making
a lunge for her and toppling them both over onto his bed. He pinned her
hands above her head, despite the pain in his arm and straddled her. 
         "Stop it, Frannie!" he ordered against her struggles. "I don't
want to hurt you but I will if you force me too." Francesca ceased
struggling and turned her head to the side as a tear slipped out of the
corner of one eye and traced a forlorn path down across her cheek. "You
know I love you, Caro. I would never hurt you." 
         "I love you too." She whimpered her eyes full of a love she could
not hide as she glanced back at him. Roger smiled and touched his lips to
her forehead tenderly, then to both of her cheeks and finally her mouth. 
         "Let's forget this nonsense." He murmured, as he stretched out
against her and maintained his hold on her wrists. "I'll make peace with
the Mountie and I'll try not to fight so much with, Ray." Francesca stared
up at him, wanting to believe him desperately. "I'll fix everything,
Frofou, make everything right. I promise you." Francesca closed her eyes
as his lips touched hers again in a feather light kiss. 
        Once, twice, three times, like he used to when they were kids and
she started to smile, until his mouth claimed hers in a very un-brotherly
way. At first she was too shocked to respond, but as his tongue started to
probe the inside of her mouth, she tried to push him away but he was much
stronger than she and her struggles only seemed to encourage him. She her
face flush in mortification as she felt his arousal pressed hard against
her thigh. 
         "Stop!" she managed to cry as she finally tore her mouth from
his, but Roger was beyond hearing her. "Roger don't!" 
         "You want it, Frannie." He murmured as he tried to capture her
lips again, as he transferred both her wrists to one hand and used his
other to slide down her body to caress the soft breast beneath her blouse.
"You always did and so did I. No one has to know, love, no one..."
Frannie's knee came up into his groin and he cried out in pain, his hands
automatically releasing her as he curled up in agony. Francesca scrambled
from under him and picked up the bat, but Roger had already rolled form
the bed and tried to defend himself. 
         "You bastard!" she screamed furious as she swung at him, missing
him by inches as he dodged the destructive weapon. "You're just like Pop!"

         "It was a joke, Frannie!" he tried as he ducked away from another
swing, then grabbed the bat with his hand on the third swing and caught
Francesca across the face with his other hand. She flew backwards onto the
bed again, tears stinging her eyes from the force of his blow. "I've had
enough of this shit." He told her tossing the bat aside. "This goddamn
Mountie is trying to come between me and my family and I'm not gonna stand
for it." Francesca curled up on the bed, holding her face protectively,
her eyes hidden from him. "You're weak, just like the rest of this f**king
family, Frannie. You spend too much time worrying about other people
instead of taking care of your kin like you're supposed to; well I've had
enough. I'm putting an end to it once and for all. This is my family too
and I am older than Ray by three minutes, so I should be the head of this
household, not him. I'll contest Pop's will and sell this f**king place
once and for all. Ray can go to hell, Tony and Maria can find a place of
their own and stop sponging off Ma and I'll put Ma in some place where she
can be with people her own age and not have to wait on the lot of you." 
         "Ma will die if you take away her home and family." Frannie cried
and Roger shrugged. 
         "She'll survive, well enough." He decided turning to leave. "You
can all go to hell for what I care." He heard the quiet click of the
safety and slowly turned around to find Francesca leveling a gun at his
chest, tears streaming down her face. 
         "No, Roger." She refused her voice amazingly calm and her aim
incredibly steady. "I won't let you hurt this family anymore." 
         "What are you going to do about it, Frannie?" he sneered. "You
gonna shoot me, yer own brother?" Francesca lowered the gun and shook her
head as she eased herself off the bed. "I didn't think so, like I said,
you're all weak." 
         "I may be weak, Roger." She admitted quietly. "But I have
something that you will never have?" 
         "Oh really?" he laughed dryly. "And what would that be, other
than a nice pair of tits and a brain the size of a gnat?" Francesca pushed
the hair back from her face, as she walked over toward the window. 
         "I may not be Einstein, Roger." She admitted. "But I am far from
stupid." She lifted the shade slowly. "I love this family and I love
Fraser, I won't let you hurt them ever again." She indicated the document
on the floor. "Sign it, Roger, it's your last chance. I know you raped
him, he knows it and you know it. Sign it because it's the right thing to
do." 
         "Not in this lifetime, honey." Roger sneered and he watched
Francesca's shoulders slump slightly as she continued to gaze out the
window. 
         "Then I'm sorry, Roger." She whispered sadly. 
         "Sorry for what?" he asked curious, startled when his bedroom
door opened behind him and two large men entered, followed by a smaller,
familiar looking Italian male. 
         "Long time no see, Rog." Frank Zuko greeted with a sinister
smile, watching the other man pale. "I hear you've been a bad boy." 
         "Frankie!" Roger exclaimed backing up slightly and shooting a
glance at Francesca, who still had her back to him. "What...what's going
on Frannie?" 
         "Francesca and I are old friends, aren't we Squirt?" Zuko
explained and Francesca nodded. "She was always my favorite Vecchio, even
though we aren't as close as we used to be, she knows I'd do anything for
her." His eyes narrowed as he snapped his fingers and his henchmen moved
into the room, quickly going through the dressers and closets to pack up
Roger's things. 
         "Now...now, Frankie." Roger began warily. "This is family
business, you know the code, you don't get involved in family business."
Zuko nodded. 
         "That's true." He agreed calmly. "I usually tend to distance
myself from such things, after all it isn't right to interfere with
another man's dirty laundry." Roger relaxed slightly. "However, you did
sort of breech that contract when you hurt the Mountie, Rog. You see,
Fraser isn't part of the Vecchio family, he's their friend." Roger
flinched from Zuko's penetrating gaze. "I also have a soft spot for the
guy, he'd done me a few favors in the past and I would like to repay him
for that, though he never lets me. Now I have that opportunity." 
         "What...what are you talking about?" Roger demanded again
glancing at his sister. "Frannie what have you done?" There was a strong
sound of panic in his voice and when his sister remained silent he stalked
toward her, only to be blocked by the larger of Zuko's henchmen. 
         "I don't think she wants to talk to you anymore." The man
informed coldly as Zuko watched Francesca turn her head only slightly
toward her brother, then decided against it and turned back. It was enough
for Zuko to see the swelling mark on her face and he walked over to Roger
and swung hard, catching the man on the jaw and knocking him to the floor.
Francesca flinched at the sound but did not move from her position. 
         "You never, never hit yer sister or yer mother, you got me!"
Frank Zuko exclaimed hauling Roger to his feet by the collar of his shirt.
"Yer less of a man than I thought, yer just trash made up to look like a
man." He shoved Roger toward the other henchman. "Take him to the car,
boys." 
         "Frannie!" Roger screamed as they started to pull him out of the
room. "I'll sign the f**king paper! Frannie please! I love you, Frannie,
don't do this! I'm yer brother for Christ's sake! FRANNIE!" Frank Zuko
placed a gentle hand on Francesca's shoulder, then reached down for the
gun she still held tightly in her hand. 
         "I'll take care of this." He told her quietly and she released it
to him, her entire body was shaking as he placed the weapon in the
waistband of his pants then gave her another reassuring squeeze. "Yer
doing the right thing, he won't ever hurt any of you again, Frannie." 
         "I...don't kill him." she pleaded and he nodded. 
         "We won't." he promised. "We'll just make sure he stays away." 
         "I...I don't want...I don't want him to ever be mistaken for Ray
again." She stated angrily. "You make sure Frankie, you make sure that no
one ever mistakes him for Ray again." 
         "I will, sweetheart." Zuko vowed. "I promise." 
         "God forgive us." Francesca preyed closing her eyes and allowing
the tears to fall. Frankie lowered his eyes and prayed with her. 
  
  
  

 The end 
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