The Hole Truth
by Karen Rossi
      werethere@AOL.com

I press my body against the wall of the alley. I can feel the coldness
of the brick seep through the back of my leather jacket, my dungarees.
My breath comes in frosty gasps. 

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Again.

Hiding in the shadowed alley way, like a voyeur, I watch. 

The place is well lit and looks warm and comforting inside. I see the
handsome young man pass by the door and my breath catches in my throat.
Like Pavlov's Dog, I have become conditioned -- and the young man is
the evoker -- the reminder of the thing that I have come here for. 

I press the palms of my hands to my face. I am ashamed. 

Ray was right. The city changes people. I never thought I would *need*
this; I never thought that I would *need* him.	

My secret lustful, unhealthy desire.

If anyone knew, what would they think of me? To be so -- needy? But I
doubt anyone will ever know. I come here at night. I come here alone.

Always.  

As I watch the young man in the room across the street, I realize that
this hunger I shall feed but will keep to myself. 

I watch his every move in the brightly lit room. I feel the money in
my pocket. The money I will pay him to give me what I need. 

The pull has become too great and like a sailor who has heard the Siren's
Song, I am lost. I quickly cross the street and move closer to the
handsome
man. 

He sees me coming towards him, on the opposite side of the door and he
smiles. He knows me well; he knows what I'm here for. 

Only he knows my shameful desires but I know that he will never tell
-- I am only one of the faceless hundreds he must service.  

I open the glass door and he smiles wider, saying nothing. No words pass
between us, there is no need. 

He knows what I want. 

"Here you go, Constable. One chocolate glazed doughnut."

The 59 cents trembles in my palm as I drop the coins into his hand. 

"Thank you kindly."

My unhealthy lust is clenched to my chest in a waxed paper bag. 

The chocolate glazed doughnut has a thin crunchy sugar coating that
enrobes
a soft, delicious cake. As I pop the sweet pieces into my mouth, I know
two things. One: that I am the closest to heaven that I have ever been
and; two: I'll be back tomorrow night. 

Oh yes. I'll be back tomorrow night.

~~~The End~~~