And there came a cry for chocolate... And there came a cry for chocolate... A Voyager/ Due South CrossOver by Malkavius and Jaelyn Rated G The evening shift, that magical time when boredom ruled and absolutely nothing exciting happened, was almost over. Bob Jenerik was not sure whether to be happy about this or not. It meant he would get to get up from his seat at navigation, move to the turbo-lift and promptly fade out of the minds and eyes of everyone else on board the ship. Oh, someone might see him go down his corridor to his room, but he doubted it. It had always been this way, this semi-invisibleness that plagued him. And he had a feeling that a lot of the others on board the ship felt the same way too. Oh, sure, Captain Janeway spoke about the whole vessel being a family, but you never got the sense that it was truly so. It was like unless you were standing by one of the bridge crew or, one of the other guys who had the much-neater-sounding-name than you, you didn't really exist except as part of the background. It was depressing really. What he would really like was some excitement. Just a taste of what it felt to be on the day shift. Just once, maybe, to get up close and personal with the Captain. To really talk to her...ahh, but who was he kidding? The cheery boing from the ships computer announced the changing of the shift. From night to day, and from boredom to sleep. Bob heard the doors to the bridge swish open, and knew it was Harry Kim or maybe Paris...some one to take his place for when things REALLY started happening. He glumly stood, and turned, heading for the exit and another night of white noise. He slammed directly into a form both soft and feminine. He knew it was definitely feminine cause his hand, in the act of reaching out to catch himself, had grabbed... "Ensign...!" the high pitched voice that somehow screamed years of cigarette smoking, (even though cigarettes, since having been long ago deemed politically incorrect, had been outlawed) was instantly recognizable. Janeway's unamused glare turned the hapless Ensign to unintelligible goo. "Captain! I ...uhh...didn't...ummm...that is I never...you...ummm.." he smiled weakly, mind racing and options failing. The glare did not lessen, in fact, it sharpened, and he could feel the sweat trickle down his back. Desperately he grabbed for the final thing..the last option. "uhh...Has anyone told you you look lovely today, Captain?" Normally this line would have failed. It had a hundred times before but luck and the mighty calendar were on Bob's hapless side. Amazingly, she smiled. The Captain smiled and blushed and laughed. Like a school girl. And Bob would have sworn Janeway had never been a school girl in her whole life. "You really think so, Ensign?" she said, tone still that throaty deep timbre, and eyes demurely lowered. From the relative safety of the first officer's chair, Chakotay tensed, as did the whole day shift bridge crew. 'Don't be a fool, man...get out while you can,' he silently urged. Didn't he know what time of month it was, for heaven sake?! "Well," Bob was still so flustered that it had actually worked. "I guess so..uhh...I mean, yeah. You look pretty good considering.." Janeway's eyes instantly hardened. "Considering?" The morning bridge crew all held their breath. "Ummm..yeah. I mean, the pressures of command and all are such that..." "Are you insinuating that I can't be a Commander and Feminine at the same time?" her voice raised in volume. "oh my god.." Harry Kim whispered. "...because if THAT is what you are insinuating, you mindless peon who doesn't even have a regular SPEAKING role, I will have you..." "Chakotay, do something!" Paris hissed, beginning to panic. "ME?" The first officers voice was distressingly high pitched. "Yes you. You are the one who all the rumors say she has a thing with.." "Those are just rumors! Can I help it if fan fiction authors have nothing better to do with their time than...." He was sliding down in his chair, defensively. "Can't you get a spirit guide to help or some other such mumbo jumbo?" Kim's earnest face plead. Chakotay sighed, and glanced to where Janeway had taken the ensign by the throat and was gesturing wildly. "No. This has gone far beyond that. Chakotay to Engineering." He touched his com badge and stood, getting some distance between himself and the Captain. "Torres here. What can I do for you Chakotay?" Chakotay raised his voice deliberately. "Yes, B'Lanna, didn't you say that you had had some special modifications tied in from the warp core so the replicators could make chocolate for today?" Janeway froze. Down in engineering B'Lanna growled, beautiful eyes narrowed at the unwavering figure that calmly stood before her. "Commander, I am afraid we have a problem in the TransDuesers...mainly some strange human male in red serge standing in front of them and not moving out of the way." The blue eyes shone with typical clarity and, perhaps a hint of regret. But no hesitation. "I am sorry Ms. Torres," Benton Fraser of the RCMP said firmly, "But I'm afraid that your jury rigged Warp Core/Chocolate making Replicator violates 13.3 natural laws. I am going to have to ask you to shut it down." Ray shifted his weight compulsively, blonde hair standing up in agitated spikes. "13.3?" Fraser shrugged, glancing over. "Well, there is some debate of the actual status of the law concerning the energy versus matter transvayance and the..." B'Lanna subtly moved closer to Fraser, expression grim. "Natural laws or not, we need that Chocolate!" With a savage cry, she pulled a klingon butter knife and pounced. The two bodies instantly intertwined in life and death battle. Hazel eyes rolled. "Great, just great. Yet another woman pouncing on Fraser.." Ray muttered. "Engine room, is there a problem?" Janeway's voice cut through the grunts of exertion like a hack saw. "...I mean, the uniform isn't that great, come on! I wore it once and no one..Oh." Ray stopped grumbling and looked at the com system skeptically. "Fraser, ahhh...man. Still busy I see." Ray cocked his head to the side, watching the fight, "Ouch..okay. I can get it." The array of buttons before him, Ray randomly picked and cleared his throat. "Ummm, no problem down here, uhh.. We're fine. Everything is fine....How are you?" "The hesitation in his voice indicates he is lying. Send in Seven of Nine to quote, 'Stomp his heiny.'" Tuvok calmly reported, and suggested. Blood beginning to fill Janeway's eyes, she nodded curtly for the command to be obeyed. The blond-who-defied-gravity, also known as Seven of Nine, entered the Engine room with admirable speed. Ray Kowalski's (in case you hadn't guessed it was him and not Vecchio. HA...yeah right, anyway) eyes widened. And then were drawn first up and down the former Borg, but still more or less fake, woman's curves. "Oh...hey..." Realization hit after the hormones. Stomp his heiny? "oh..no.. Fraser! Hey, Fraser!" Fraser grunted as he struggled to keep B'Lanna at arms length. "Not now, Ray...A mountie always gets his man...err...woman." "Get your alien hands OFF HIM!" Lights blazed like miniature nova's reflecting off the silver glint highlights on Frannie's net body suit and leather skirt. She threw herself into the fray, fingernails raking for B'Lanna with ferocity. Meanwhile, poor Ray, unarmed and made mostly unable to think in the face of all that skin tight bodysuit gulped and gamely raised his fists for a half-hearted effort to stave off the blond borg. To no avail. Seven grabbed him with all the swiftness of a hunting rabbit and kissed him passionately. And very thoroughly. Ray blinked. "Of all the men on this ship, you and you alone know the wonderful feeling of a good solid kick to the head. I love you," she said in a deep and emotion wrought monotone. Ray grinned, relief stamped comically on his face. "Uh, never mind Fraser. I have this handled. WHOA!" Seven is knocked to the ground as, B'Lanna, overhearing this remark about Ray's kicking prowess, decides Tom is a weakling. She screams Klingon battle songs, fighting Seven for Ray. "Ray...Ray...Ray...Ray...RAY!" Hazel eyes tear themselves away from the flailing women..."Oh, what?" Fraser is pinned, Frannie's questing lips not far from his and her equally roaming hands...Fraser's blue eyes flash alarm and panic. "Help!" "Oh!" Ray rushed forward, "Frannie, come on, let go!" "Mine! I have followed you throughout the universe, Fraser.." "Fraser! The wolf has a shuttle all prepped and ready..come on run!" The two stumble blindly from the room, as Frannie tries to run after on sixteen-inch heels. "Engine room? Engine room, come in!" Silence... Janeway turned slowly, eyes falling first on Chakotay, and then on Paris, and then on Kim. No...all too valuable. Too irreplaceable. She strode the few feet that separated her from her second in command and stared at him for a long moment, ignoring the rivulets of sweat running down his tattooed face. "Chakotay.." "Y-yes, Captain?" "Bring me a Red Shirt. NOW." "Immediately Captain, of course...right away." He reached for the com and quickly issued forth the command. Meanwhile, in all the stark terror, Bob slipped from the room, only bearing minor internal injuries. Night shift...he'd never knock it again. _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com Return to Due South Fiction Archive