Benny Benny by Iris Gray Author's webpage: http://victoria.tc.ca/~wy236/fic.html Author's notes: I couldn't think of a title for this story, so I settled for just calling it "Benny."
Ray Vecchio was concerned. In fact, his concern was ready to turn into full-fledged worry if he didn't talk to Benny soon. The problem was that Benny wasn't talking to him. In fact, it seemed as if his friend was avoiding him.This was not normal behaviour for the Mountie and was the cause of Ray's concern. Oh, Benny had an excuse for not spending time with Ray lately. Work at the Consulate, he said. True, the Dragon Lady treated Benny like her personal slave. But that had never stopped Fraser from getting involved in Ray's cases before, or getting Ray involved in his own personal crusades against the evils of the Big City. How many times had he come close to losing his partner? Benny had been stabbed, beaten, thrown off a train, blown up, kidnapped by Charles Carver, not to mention almost running off with Victoria Metcalfe and being shot by Ray himself. He'd almost been shot again, in the hospital, until Ray had thrown himself at the shooter and taken the bullet instead. Then they had survived a plane crash in northern Canada with Benny being blind, delirious and unable to walk. And just recently Benny had fallen off the back of a van and lost his memory. At one point when Ray was trying to help him get his memory back, Benny had said something that suggested he wondered if the two of them were lovers. Probably something to do with Ray's exclamation of "I could kiss you!" Ray had assured him that they were friends, just friends. But since then he'd found himself contemplating the idea of himself and Benny as lovers. And it wasn't a bad idea, either. Whether Benny would go for it was the question. He had to talk to Benny. No avoidance would be accepted. He'd park himself in front of the Consulate and wait for Fraser to come out if he had to. The man couldn't hide in there forever. At least, Ray hoped not. Sure enough, Benny did eventually leave the Consulate. Of course, Ray was actually parked - hiding - around the corner in case Fraser saw the Riv and decided not to come out. He pulled up next to Benny. "Hey, Benny, you should've waited, I woulda given you a ride home." "Oh, hello, Ray," said Benny. He didn't sound happy to see his partner. "Diefenbaker has been getting lazy, so I decided that we should walk home from now on." "Too bad, Benny, because you are coming with me. We need to talk." "Talk?" inquired Fraser in a shaky voice. "About what?" "Get in the car, Benny, and then we'll talk." Reluctantly, Ben got into the car. There was no arguing with Ray when he used that tone of voice. As he drove toward Fraser's firetrap building on West Racine, Ray tried to put into words what he had been feeling lately. "I feel like you've been avoiding me, Benny. Like all of a sudden you don't want to see me. The last time you did that ... the last time you did that was when Victoria was here and it almost destroyed us. I can't take you keeping secrets from me, Benny. It scares me." Fraser sighed and ran a finger across his eyebrow. "Very well, Ray. I will tell you what's going on. But I warn you, I don't think you're going to like it." "Benny, whatever it is, we'll deal with it. I just want my partner back." "Ray, I'm in love with you." Ray waited for the rest of it. When nothing else was forthcoming, he almost laughed in relief. That was all that was upsetting Benny? He'd been afraid that the Mountie had a terminal disease, or that he'd committed a terrible crime, or that he was leaving Chicago and going back to Canada. "Is that all, Benny?" he asked as he turned the car onto West Racine. "Isn't it enough?" asked Fraser sadly. "No, Benny, it isn't. I don't understand what could be so terrible about you loving me." "Ray, after all that I've done to you - I've risked your life, caused your car to be blown up, run off on you with Victoria, almost caused you to lose your house - I know that you could never love me in return. I'm surprised that you even continue to be my friend." Ray stopped the car across the street from Benny's apartment building. "Benny - " he started to say. "Never mind, Ray. I already know what you're going to say. I understand. You never want to see me again." "Benny, no - " but Fraser was already out of the car and running across the street. There was a squeal of brakes, a screech of tires and before Ray could react, a car had struck Fraser and sent him flying into the air. "BENNY!" Ray screamed as his partner crumpled to the ground. The car that had struck him sped away. Ray ran to Benny's side, calling on his cell phone for an ambulance as he did so. He sank to the ground next to his unconscious friend. He wanted to hold him, cradle him, but he didn't know if it was safe to move him. He finally settled for moving Fraser's head in to his lap. "Come on Benny, wake up for me," he pleaded with the Mountie. "You have to be all right. You have to be. I won't let you go." He tried to stifle the tears that were threatening. "I love you, Benny." There was no response from the still figure that lay there. "Hang in there, Benny. I called for a bus. You'll go to the hospital and be patched up. Then we'll talk. We'll talk about where you got the crazy idea that I couldn't love you." It seemed like forever, but it was only a few minutes before the ambulance arrived. At the hospital Benny was quickly whisked into a trauma room and Ray was forced to wait outside to answer questions and fill out paperwork. "What is your relationship to the patient?" asked the nurse. "He's my partner," Ray answered distractedly. "Does he have any other family?" "I'm his family," answered Ray. "His parents are both dead, and he doesn't have any brothers or sisters." The nurse smiled sympathetically. "Then he's lucky to have you. I know you must be very worried about him. The doctors will do everything they can for him." "They'd better," Ray muttered. He realized that when he'd said he was Benny's partner, the nurse had assumed he'd meant they were lovers. He only wished it were true. After she was finished collecting her information, the nurse left him alone. He sat in the deserted waiting room, where, indeed, all he could do was wait. "What are you doing sitting here mooning after the Mountie? Hasn't he caused you enough trouble already?" came an all-too-familiar voice. "Go away, Pop," Ray muttered to the appartion. "Not until you listen to me," lectured Vecchio senior. "You let him drag you around all over the place, mortaged the house for him, and he repaid you by almost jumping bail! Why do you continue to hang around with him?" "I love him, Pop, " answered Ray quietly. "Not that you'd understand that." "Love?!" exclaimed Ray's father. "You *love* him? You're a faggot?" "No, Pop, I'm just a man who happened to fall in love with another man. A man who is my partner and my best friend." The ghost looked disgusted. "I thought I raised you better than that." Ray laughed humourlessly. "Better than *what*, Pop? The only thing I learned from you was when to duck." "Figures you'd be complaining about my hitting you again. I should have done it more often - maybe I'd have beaten some sense into you." Ray stood and faced his father's spirit. "You know what, Pop? I've had it with you. I want you to leave. Now. I don't even know how you manage to show up just when I don't need you, but I'm telling you right now that I'm not going to take it anymore. I love Benny and there's nothing you can do or say to change that." The elder Vecchio looked as if he was going to say something else, but the look on his son's face made him stop. Ray was standing up to him. He'd been doing that a lot since he started hanging around with that crazy Canuck. The one he claimed to be in love with. The ghost gave a disgusted snort and vanished. "Detective Vecchio?" It was the nurse. He jumped up. "What's happened? How's Benny?" he asked anxiously. "He's badly injured, but the doctors don't think his injuries are life-threatening," the nurse answered. "What they're most worried about is brain damage from when he struck his head on the pavement. They'll be able to gauge that more effectively when he wakes up." "Can I see him?" "Of course," said the nurse with a smile. "I'll take you to his room. Hopefully the doctor will be in to see him again before he leaves tonight. He'll be able to tell you more about Constable Fraser's injuries then." Ray wasn't prepared for the sight that met him when he entered Benny's room. The Mountie looked so pale, so still. He hadn't seen Benny looking like that since, well, since he'd shot him. And here he was, responsible for Benny's being hurt again. If only he'd stopped him from getting out of the car, made him stay and listen instead of letting him run away. Fraser stirred slightly. Ray hurried over to the bed. "Ray?" came a whispered voice. "I'm here, Benny. I'm right here." But Benny seemed to be drifting in and out, and Ray wasn't sure if Benny had heard him. "Ray?" he said again. Ray almost cried. He hated to see his friend hurting like this. He moved in closer and held Fraser's hand. He stroked his hair. "I'm right here, Benny. I'm not going anywhere." A ghost of a smile crossed Ben's lips. "Ray," he stated. This time it wasn't a question. Then he drifted off into unconsciousness again. It was a long night. Ray stayed by his partner's side. Fraser woke up a few more times, and each time he called Ray's name. Each time Ray squeezed his hand and tried to reassure Benny that he was there, and it seemed to help. Finally, early in the morning, Fraser woke up and stayed awake. "Ray!" he exclaimed in surprise. Ray jumped up from the chair where he had been dozing. "You okay there, Benny?" he asked. "I - I don't know," said Fraser in confusion. "Why am I here?" "You were in an accident, Benny. You got hit by a car." The Mountie thought about that for a moment, then he seemed to remember. "Why are *you* here, Ray?" he asked. "Why wouldn't I be here?" Ray demanded. He sounded almost angry. "You're my partner, you're my best friend, and you've been hurt. Why wouldn't I be here for you?" "Ray, after what I told you ... I didn't think you would ever want to see me again." Ray took Benny's hand in his, the way he had when his friend had been unconscious. "Benny, you said that you love me. Why would that make me not want to see you?" Fraser stared at their linked hands. "I said that I am *in love* with you, Ray. There's a difference." "So, I still don't see what the big deal is. Why is it so bad for you to love me?" "I'm sure it hasn't escaped your notice that I'm a man," said Benny. Ray grinned. "No, Benny, it hasn't. But that doesn't make a difference to me, 'cause I love you, too." And he leaned forward and kissed the other man. "Excuse me," said a disapproving voice. "I'm Doctor Faulkner. I'm Mister Fraser's doctor. And you are?" he asked Ray. "I'm *Constable* Fraser's partner, " Ray answered. "Detective Raymond Vecchio. You'll see my name on all the forms in his file. " "I see," sighed the doctor. He flipped through the chart. "There is nothing here to indicate that Mr. Fraser is a homosexual." "What the hell difference does THAT make?" exclaimed Ray. "Who cares whether Benny is gay or straight or anything else? He got hit by a car, for God's sake!" "Ray, please calm down," said Fraser. "There are certain precautions that we must take when we are dealing with a known homosexual. The gay, er, lifestyle does put people at risk for certain diseases, and those diseases can be passed on to medical personnel if we are not careful," stated the doctor. "I don't believe this!" groaned Ray. "Listen, Doctor, Benny does not have AIDS, okay? Being gay doesn't automatically give a person HIV, which you as a doctor should know. Even if he did, that's no reason to treat him like a leper." He snorted in disgust. He noticed the doctor hadn't come any closer. "Look, as Constable Fraser's next of kin and the person in charge of making medical decisions for him, I demand that he be given a different doctor. One who doesn't suffer from homophobia. And I fully intend to report you to your superiors. Now get the hell out of here before I arrest you." "On what charge, Detective?" asked the doctor. "On the charge of being an idiot! Get out!" The doctor snorted and walked out, muttering something about 'hysterical queers' as he did so. When he was gone, Ray turned back to Benny. "Are you okay, Benny?" he asked in concern. "I think that's what the doctor was supposed to tell me before you threw him out," replied the Canadian with a touch of amusement. Then he remembered what had caused the doctor's reaction in the first place. "Ray - did you just say that you love me?" "Yeah, Benny, I did," answered Ray with a smile. "Are you - are you in love with me, the way I am with you?" "Sure am, Benny." "Oh, Ray ...that's wonderful." Ray was just about to kiss Benny again when another doctor entered the room. "Good morning, gentlemen," she said. "My name is Dr. Fyles. You must be Constable Fraser and Detective Vecchio?" "I'm Ray Vecchio, and this is my partner, Benton Fraser," said Ray. "By partners, you mean - ?" asked Dr. Fyles. "We work together, but we're partners off-duty as well," replied Ray. Fraser looked surprised, but pleased, to hear that from him. "Just wondered," said the doctor. "I like to know who my patients' family members are, because they are usually involved in the recovery. Do the two of you live together?" "Not yet," said Ray. "But when you guys send him home I'll stay with him at his place till he's better." He turned to his partner. "That okay with you, Benny?" "That's fine with me, Ray," answered the other man with a smile. Doctor Fyles finished examining Fraser. "You're very lucky, Constable. A few cracked ribs, and some bumps and bruises, but you got away without any internal injuries. They'll send you for a CAT scan later this afternoon; you do have a concussion but hopefully no other brain damage." She turned back to Ray. "I'd like to apologize for my colleague, Dr. Faulkner. Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do about his prejudices. You were entirely within your rights to ask for a different doctor. Not everyone would - I've seen some patients just sit there and take his abuse." "Yeah, well, I've had enough abuse in my life. I won't take any that I don't have to, and I definitely won't let anyone get away with hurting Benny." He took Fraser's hand in his again. The doctor smiled at the two men. "I wish more of my heterosexual patients had marriages like yours," she said as she bid them farewell. "Hey, Benny, she said we're married," laughed Ray. "My father always said that partnership is like a marriage, Ray," said Fraser. "So you wanna make it official, then, Benny? Get married? I'm sure there must be someone who'll marry us, even if it isn't really legal." "I would love to marry you, Ray." "Good. Then as soon as you're better, we'll go find a preacher and we'll get married. Then we need to find a place to live. No offense, but I really don't want to live in that rat trap of yours." "Anything for you, Ray. I love you." "Love you too, Benny." Ray kissed his love again, and this time they weren't interrupted. Dr. Fyles peeked around the door and smiled, then hung a "Do not disturb" sign on the door of Fraser's room. END