CHANGES   Rated: NC-17
 Drama
 Warning: contains references to pederasty, graphic m/m sex, swearing
 and some violence
 DUE SOUTH and its characters belong to Alliance and no copyright
 infringement is intended
 
 This story did not turn out at all the way I intended. It got serious 
 real fast and, as my stories often do, ends on a slightly ambiguous note.
 
 CHANGES
 
 Welsh glanced up at the sudden silence in the bullpen, then
 closed his eyes briefly. Two uniforms were leading a tall, thin
 man in handcuffs. The man looked grim and forbidding, as befit a
 man under arrest. The man glanced at Welsh and their eyes
 locked. The man gave a very slight smile, a mere upturn of his
 lip, but it was enough. Play along, the smile said. Play along
 and we'll be okay. Welsh knew the smile and the owner of it. 
 Ray Vecchio. The real Ray Vecchio, for some reason in Chicago
 where he did not belong.
 
 Ray knew he had to keep his mouth shut. Firmly shut,
 despite the shocked silence of the precinct. Huey stared at him,
 doing a remarkable resemblance to a stunned baboon. Ray filed
 the image away for future use. Frannie - his own sister,
 actually working - saw him and her mouth opened. Then it shut
 again and her chin firmed. Her eyes softened, but she carefully
 kept her expression neutral. She knew that to say anything at
 all would endanger him. 
 
 He saw Welsh and tried to telegraph a message. Play along,
 Lieutenant, for God's sake, play along.
 
 He didn't see Fraser, thank God.
 
 ****
 
 "What happened, Ray?" Welsh asked quietly. "Why are you
 here?"
 
 "The Family had a deal going down here in Chicago. I had to
 come down to see it through. No way to avoid it. I tried to
 explain that I had some old, unpaid debts in Chicago, but they
 got suspicious." Ray replied rapidly. "So I came in to see the
 deal through. The feds are gonna love the evidence I picked up,
 by the way. The deal went through real easy."
 
 "How'd you get arrested?"
 
 "I got stupid." Ray admitted. "I've been kinda homesick. 
 I stopped to get a bite at Defino's and an overeager uniform
 picked me up."
 
 "Why? What were you doing?"
 
 "Nothing. Last time I checked, there's nothing illegal
 about pastrami on rye." Ray said testily. "However, I was
 carrying a piece."
 
 "So what happens now? The Family mouthpiece screams false
 arrest and you go free?"
 
 "Exactly. No problem, so long as nobody blows the cover."
 
 "I better call Big Red."
 
 "Yeah."
 
 "You want us to cooperate or do you want to stick around for
 a bit?"
 
 "It'd look better if you guys are kinda reluctant to let me
 go."
 
 "And you'd get a chance to catch up on things. Right. I'll
 send Civilian Aid Vecchio in to take your statement." Welsh gave
 a half smile.
 
 ****
 
 Francesca looked almost shy as she went into the
 interrogation room. She checked the door to the observation room
 before going in. It was locked and empty.
 
 "Ray." She said softly. Ray rose and wrapped his arms
 around his sister, holding her tight. Releasing her, he noted
 tears in her eyes.
 
 "I've missed you." Ray said softly. "Life treating you all
 right?"
 
 "Yeah. I've got a real job, Ray. And I'm getting good at
 it." Frannie said proudly. "Of course, I applied for it
 knowing that you'd be gone and Fraser's still hanging around. But
 I like getting a real paycheque."
 
 "How's Ma?"
 
 "She's fine. Tony and Maria found this great new place and
 Ma likes being there."
 
 "Whoa. Tony and Maria are living in their own place? And
 Ma is with them? Who's living in the old house?"
 
 "Oh. I forgot. Ray..." Francesca nibbled at her lip and
 fidgeted with a lock of hair. 
 
 "What?"
 
 "The house. It burned down a couple of months ago. Not too
 long after you left. Arson. Fraser and Ray - the other Ray -
 caught the woman."
 
 "The house? It's gone?"
 
 "Yeah. The insurance paid up and the money is sitting in
 your account, piling up interest. You still own the land, since
 Ma wouldn't hear of selling it without your consent." Francesca
 looked carefully at her brother, who looked strangely content. 
 "You aren't mad?"
 
 "No, not really. I don't have a lot of good memories of
 that place, Frannie. It meant something to Ma, but I'm kinda
 glad to get rid of it. Later, when I come back for good, I can
 build something better for Ma."
 
 "She misses you, y'know." Francesca said softly. "We all
 do."
 
 "What? With the other guy here, it's like I'm not even
 gone." Ray teased.
 
 "Ray - the other Ray - is kinda weird, y'know?" Francesca
 said thoughtfully. "Real edgy, real insecure. Fraser's got him
 wrapped around his little finger."
 
 "Fraser?"
 
 "Yeah. I'm not sure how to explain it. Ray - the other Ray
 - follows Fraser's lead on everything. He bitches about it, but
 he does it. You have your faults, Ray, but you were never a
 follower."
 
 "I can't see Fraser bullying anybody." 
 
 "I can. He never did it to you 'cause you were oblivious to
 it." Francesca stated. "Fraser's changed, Ray. He's still drop
 dead gorgeous and I'd let him bully me into anything he wanted to
 do, but he has changed."
 
 *****
 
 Kowalski and Fraser burst into the squad room, talking a
 mile a minute. 
 
 "I tell you, Fraser, I am not imagining things. She is hot
 for me, you know what I mean?"
 
 "Oh, Ray, I really don't think so." Fraser said
 dismissively. "The Inspector is a very sophisticated woman, a
 professional..."
 
 "And she wouldn't be seen with the likes of me, hunh? Let
 me tell you something, Fraser." Kowalski stopped as Diefenbaker
 gave a short bark and bounded across the room to a thin man in a
 frenzy of delight. Fraser looked over.
 
 "Ray?"
 
 "What?!" Kowalski snapped, then looked over. Both of them
 stopped dead.
 
 "Get this damned mutt off me." Ray said loudly, pushing at
 Diefenbaker.
 
 "Diefenbaker." Fraser said sternly. 
 
 "Is this mangy ball of fur yours?" Ray marched up to
 Fraser, looking pissed. 
 
 "Er.. Yes, he is. He's part wolf."
 
 "I don't give a shit whether he's part giraffe. Get him the
 hell off me." Ray said, eyeing his friend up and down. "Who the
 hell are you? When did the Chicago PD started hiring Mounties?"
 
 "I first came here on the trail of my father's killers and
 for reasons that do not need explaining at this juncture..."
 
 "Cut the crap." Ray said disdainfully. "I wanna have a
 word with you about your wolf. In private. I wanna tell you
 something about the level of respect I expect..." Ray took
 Fraser's arm, none too gently and steered him into Welsh's
 office.
 
 "God, Fraser, it's good to see you." Ray said quietly,
 after making sure the office was empty and the blinds drawn. 
 
 "What are you doing here, Ray?" The words were commonplace,
 but the smile was brilliant and welcoming.
 
 "I got arrested." Ray shrugged. "The Family's mouthpiece
 will have me out in a day or two and I'll be back to the job."
 
 "Where?"
 
 "I can't tell you that, Fraser." Ray said quietly. "This
 is the biggest operation against organised crime the Feds have
 ever done. I can't afford to slip up at all. You do not know
 me, understand?"
 
 "Of course, Ray." Fraser sounded offended. "I wouldn't do
 anything to endanger you."
 
 "I know that, Fraser." Ray soothed, pleased. "I wish we
 had time to really talk, Benny, but I only have a few minutes to
 be Ray Vecchio."
 
 "Should you be talking to me here at all, Ray?" 
 
 "Welsh told me he'd clear things long enough to let
 everybody say hello. Then I go back undercover, call the
 Family's lawyer and start things rolling. I already spoke to
 Frannie and Huey and Welsh and Louise."
 
 "Did Francesca tell you about..."
 
 "The house? Yeah, Benny, she did." Ray smiled. "Thanks for
 saving her, by the way. She's a pain in the ass, but she is my
 sister." 
 
 "You aren't upset about...."
 
 "Nah. The house doesn't matter. I can probably afford to
 build a new house once this blows over. A house that's mine, not
 Pop's."
 
 "And about your car?"
 
 "I won't get to even look at the Riv. It'd hurt too much." 
 Ray said mournfully. "Seeing that car, not being able to drive
 her. No, Benny, she'd better stay with Kowalski until I get
 back."
 
 "No, Ray, your car..."
 
 "Gentlemen, I'm sorry to interrupt." Welsh stuck his head
 around the door. "Ray, time to get back into the role."
 
 "Right." Ray nodded. "Benny, I am really, really glad to
 see you."
 
 "I'm glad to see you, too, Ray." Fraser replied. Without
 thinking, he reached for Ray and embraced him in a warm hug.
 
 ****
 
 "Just keep that stupid dog away from me." Ray demanded as
 they walked out of the office. "I trust you understand what'll
 happen if you don't?"
 
 "Perfectly." Fraser replied neutrally. He glared at Dief,
 who was looking mournfully at Ray, not understanding why his junk
 food supplier was treating him so coldly. He wasn't even begging
 for treats. He just wanted to say hello.
 
 Fraser snapped his fingers and Dief reluctantly began to
 follow. As he began to leave the room, he glanced back to Ray,
 who was insulting Jack Huey, obviously relishing the role of a
 Mafia don. He did not see the person going past him into the
 room, but felt him or her brush past him. He also heard the
 shots and saw, as if in slow motion, the men in the room dive
 behind the desks.
 
 ****
 
 "We have your boss in protective custody." Welsh said
 grimly. "You can talk to him on the phone, but until these
 charges are cleared up, we cannot let anyone near him."
 
 "Lieutenant, I have my doubts that my client approves of
 this plan." The lawyer looked like a Wall Street broker, all
 grey pinstripes and teeth. "His civil rights are being
 violated."
 
 "No, they are not. I appreciate your concerns, but I have
 concerns of my own. Somebody from an alternate organization
 tried to kill your client this afternoon. Innocent or guilty, I
 don't need a dead man in my custody. He's been taken somewhere
 safe."
 
 "And what if he stays in your protective custody
 permanently?"
 
 "You and your friends will be very upset and I don't need
 that either. Too many people know about his arrest. If it'll
 make you feel better, I'll arrange a meeting for you tomorrow
 morning and you can talk to your client about his wishes. I got
 the impression he wants to stay alive."
 
 ****
 
 "Well, it looks like we'll be able to talk after all,
 Benny." Ray said, looking around the hotel room. "What happened
 to the old rat trap? Building got condemned?"
 
 "It burned down, Ray." Fraser replied. "Arson."
 
 "Same job as my house?"
 
 "Yes, as a matter of fact. The arsonist was a fan of the
 performance arsonist we arrested two years ago. Remember him?"
 
 "Oh, yeah." Ray grinned. "So she was carrying on his
 artistic vision?"
 
 "Something like that. She burned my apartment building,
 your house and your..." Fraser stopped suddenly.
 
 "My what?"
 
 "Your car." Fraser mumbled, scratching his left eyebrow
 with his thumbnail. 
 
 "My what?" Ray asked, ominously quiet. 
 
 "Your car, Ray."
 
 "The Riv?" Ray went pale. "You mean to tell me you
 destroyed the Riv for the THIRD TIME?"
 
 "Well, no, Ray. You destroyed it the first time. And the
 second time was a bomb meant to kill you and ended up killing
 Lewis Guardino. This time it was an arsonist..."
 
 "Fraser. I know what happened. Each time, who was
 intimately involved with the incidents that led up to the
 destruction of my car?"
 
 "Well, you and I and Ian MacDonald, then you and I and Jack
 Huey and Lewis Guardino, then Ray Kowalski and I..." Fraser
 recited. "Oh, dear. I seem to have been involved each time."
 
 "That's right. It's your fault that I no longer own a 1971
 Buick Riveria."
 
 "The insurance did pay up, Ray. You can always buy a new
 one."
 
 "Assuming I can find one. Besides, you'd just find a way to
 destroy that one, too." Ray sat down on one of the beds tiredly. 
 "Why do you do this to me?"
 
 "Do what, Ray?" Fraser sat down beside him.
 
 "Fuck up my life." Ray glanced at him. "Then make me feel
 like your friendship is actually worth it."
 
 "Thank you, Ray." Fraser said quietly, after a long pause. 
 
 "So, what am I like?" Ray asked with a smile.
 
 "I beg your pardon?"
 
 "Ray. The other me."
 
 "Ah."
 
 "Have I ever told you just how much I hate it when you say
 that?"
 
 "Repeatedly." Fraser half smiled. "Ray - the other Ray -
 doesn't hate it."
 
 "Despite the ID, he isn't me."
 
 "No, Ray, he is not. He calls me a freak."
 
 "Freak?" Ray looked startled. "You're not a freak, Fraser. 
 You're Canadian. There's a difference."
 
 "Turnbull's Canadian, too, and Ray doesn't call him a
 freak."
 
 "Turnbull is too weird for words, Fraser. He likes curling,
 whatever the hell that is."
 
 "It's a sport, played on ice. Each team, composed of a
 skip, second, third and forth, slides a large flattened ball with
 a handle, called a rock, across the ice. The aim is to land the
 rock as close to the centre of the ring, while knocking out the
 other team's rock. Using a broom, you sweep the ice..."
 
 "Fraser." Ray said sharply.
 
 "Yes, Ray?"
 
 "Did I ask what curling was?"
 
 "Well, no. I assumed you wanted to know."
 
 "No, Fraser. I wanted to know what Kowalski is like. Not
 how to play some stupid game that requires freezing your ass
 off."
 
 "Well, you don't freeze if you dress warmly enough."
 
 "Fraser!"
 
 "Yes, Ray?" Fraser said innocently, looking up at Ray
 through his lashes. Ray glared at him sternly, trying not to
 smile. He gave up and laughed.
 
 "I give up, Benny. How's Frannie doing as a Civilian Aide?"
 
 "Well, she's not as efficient as Elaine. She's trying very
 hard, though."
 
 "At the job or at getting into your pants now that I'm not
 around to protect your virtue?"
 
 "Um.." 
 
 "I see. And has she succeeded?"
 
 "No. I'm not interested in her that way, Ray. You know
 that." 
 
 "No, Benny, I don't know that. Since you act perfectly
 clueless, I have no idea what kind of women you like, other than
 criminals and Ice Princesses."
 
 "Criminals and Ice Princesses?" Fraser looked puzzled, then
 enlightened. "Oh."
 
 "Yeah. Oh. And how is Her Icicleness?"
 
 "The Inspector is fine, Ray. She hasn't tried to fire me
 in, oh, three weeks. And that was only because of a minor
 misunderstanding involving a fire extinguisher, a staple gun and
 the Auditor General of Canada. Nothing really important."
 
 "So there's nothing going on in that department."
 
 "What department?"
 
 "There you go with the clueless act again." Ray rolled his
 eyes. "It's not an act, is it, Benny?" He added, in a more
 serious tone.
 
 "Yes, it is, Ray." Fraser responded immediately. 
 
 "It is?" Ray looked at him in surprise. 
 
 "Yes." Fraser confirmed. "I am quite aware that there are
 women here who find me attractive and I find it easier to pretend
 that I don't understand than to be rude."
 
 "Is that a Canadian thing?"
 
 "Yes, Ray. Politeness is not only a virtue. It can be
 protective colouration."
 
 "Why not just tell them to shove off? Seems cruel to me to
 leave them hanging."
 
 "I find it difficult to do that, Ray. In Canada, people are 
 a little more inclined to pick up on subtle clues in a
 relationship. I find Americans very puzzling in that respect. 
 The women here are a little more... forward."
 
 "Forward?" Ray echoed, amused. "You mean you don't get
 women throwing their panties at you when you walk down the
 streets of Toronto?"
 
 "I've only been to Toronto twice, Ray, but I would assume
 that much of the year, it's too cold to remove ones underwear. 
 Not to mention awkward." Fraser said, speculatively. "Although
 it is now legal in Ontario for women to go topless under the same
 circumstances that men may go bare chested." 
 
 "That must lead to some interesting fender benders." Ray
 grinned wolfishly. 
 
 "So I'm given to believe." Fraser replied. 
 
 ****
 
 Room service arrived with dinner, effectively stopping
 conversation.
 
 "Benny, how did Welsh arrange for the Deputy Liaison for the
 Canadian Consulate to watch over me? I was expecting to be stuck
 here with Huey."
 
 "Your lawyer seems to have a longstanding mistrust of the
 Chicago police department. Leftenant Welsh offered my services,
 with Inspector Thatcher's permission, as a compromise. Your
 cover identity isn't under investigation by the Canadian
 authorities and Mounties do have a reputation for honesty. I am
 to keep you safe and deliver you to your meeting tomorrow with
 your lawyer."
 
 "Dudley Do-Right strikes again." Ray teased. Fraser looked
 slightly pained.
 
 "I should tease you like that." Ray apologised. "You
 aren't used to it anymore."
 
 "Ray, why did you leave?"
 
 "Hunh?"
 
 "Why did you take that assignment?"
 
 "I was partly your fault."
 
 "My fault?"
 
 "Your fault. Okay, I am a dead ringer for Lagostini. But
 it wouldn't matter a rat's ass if I was his twin if I didn't have
 one of the best arrest records in the country." Ray replied.
 "And that, my friend, is your fault. I couldn't turn it down,
 Benny. You know how these things go. Turning this down would
 have put my career down the toilet. I just wish you hadn't been
 on vacation when this thing came down the wire. I couldn't tell
 you over the phone; the possibility of being overheard was pretty
 good, considering the phone service up where you were."
 
 "I thought I was losing my mind." Fraser said quietly. "I
 got back and you weren't there to pick me up. I knew you
 wouldn't be, so I tried to get a taxi..."
 
 "And you let everybody butt in front of you and ended up
 walking." Ray finished.
 
 "Yes. Diefenbaker was not pleased."
 
 "I can imagine."
 
 "Anyway, I got to Racine and found the building in flames. 
 All that was left was Diefenbaker's water dish." Fraser
 continued sadly. "So I went to the precinct. I was rather
 hoping I could stay at your house for a few days until I found a
 new place to live."
 
 "And you met up with Welsh and he told you..."
 
 "No. I never got a chance to talk to Welsh. He was being
 audited by the IRS." Fraser said calmly. 
 
 "So the first you knew about the situation was..."
 
 "Being called "buddy" by a complete stranger." Fraser
 finished. "I knew it wasn't you, but everyone, including your
 own family, seemed to think it was. I thought I was
 hallucinating, having a bad dream. I kept expecting to wake up."
 
 "Oh, geez, Benny, I had no idea that it would screw up that
 badly. When did you finally get the full story?"
 
 "After I had measured ...Ray's nose, fingerprinted him and
 got a dental cast." Fraser smiled in remembrance. "I figured I
 had to prove that this stranger was not you. Then Welsh told me
 about the deception."
 
 "I am so sorry, Benny. I didn't know any of this."
 
 "I know you didn't, Ray." Fraser got up and poured more
 coffee for Ray. "Still, I resented you for it. And I resented
 the whole situation."
 
 "Is that why you changed?"
 
 "Changed?"
 
 "Frannie said you changed. She says you push Kowalski
 around."
 
 "Do I?" Fraser thought for a moment. "Yes, I suppose I do,
 a little. He makes it very easy to do."
 
 "Benny, I can't say I'm not happy about you getting a little
 backbone. If Kowalski lets you do it..." Ray shrugged. "Just
 don't try it with me, okay. I know I let you talk me into all
 kinds of weird stuff, but I'm not gonna let you push me around."
 
 "Ray, I'd never even try. I owe you too much. I can never
 repay what I owe you."
 
 "You don't owe me anything, Benny. We're friends. Friends
 don't keep score." Ray said seriously, then grinned. "'Sides,
 if they did, I think we're pretty much even. You destroyed my
 car, I shot you."
 
 "Even Steven." Fraser said, with a mischievous smile.
 
 ****
 
 "Any word on the guy who tried to shoot me, Benny?" Ray
 emerged from the shower just as Fraser hung up the phone.
 
 "He wasn't trying to shoot you, Ray." Fraser replied. "At
 first, Leftenant Welsh thought that one of the other mob families
 was behind the shooting, but it turns out that the suspect is a
 drug user, without connections with organised crime. He's in
 custody, so you'll be out tomorrow after your lawyer arranges
 things."
 
 "He got high on PCP or something and went on a rampage in
 the police station?" Ray predicted. "That's a load of crap."
 
 "Welsh seemed convinced."
 
 "Benny, the bullpen is on the second floor. Nobody high on
 PCP is gonna pick his targets that carefully. See if you can get
 the file on it. Something smells in this." Ray stated. "Who's
 on the case?"
 
 "Actually, Ray, you are." 
 
 "Me? Am I any good at this sort of thing?"
 
 "Not as good as you used to be, but you do have me to help
 you." Fraser replied. Ray looked sharply at him. Fraser had
 changed. Ray wasn't sure if it was for the better. Then again,
 so had he and definitely not for the better. He unwillingly
 recalled a scene that happened just before he left for Chicago. 
 
 ****
 
 The little girl wasn't more than seven. She was a pretty
 girl, though dressed and made up like a model. She seemed
 terrified as Guiseppe led her in and left her there with a
 knowing grin.
 
 Ray was utterly confused, but nodded briskly, as if this
 were an everyday occurrence. It turned out it was, since
 Guiseppe nodded.
 
 "I'll see you aren't disturbed, Mr. Lagostini." He said,
 closing the doors behind him.
 
 Ray threw down the magazine he was reading. It was obvious
 what one of Lagostini's perversions was. He was beginning to
 hate Armande Lagostini more and more. He wished the bastard was
 still alive, so he could kill him all over again. 
 
 The girl was doing a fairly good job hiding her fear, but
 she still cowered and trembled, just inside the door. Ray didn't
 move from his position, sprawled on the big bed. 
 
 "Come here." He said quietly, beckoning the girl with a
 gentle smile. She looked more frightened, but came closer to
 stand at the foot of the bed. He moved carefully toward her,
 without getting up. She flinched, but didn't run away. Her big
 blue eyes were filling with tears.
 
 "That stuff must hurt your eyes." Ray said softly, as he
 gently touched a tear, coloured black. The girl nodded. Ray
 took his handkerchief out of his pocket and gave it to the girl. 
 She carefully wiped under her eyes, an adult gesture obscene on
 someone so young. "Why don't you go into the bathroom and wash
 that stuff off your face?" 
 
 "Okay..." She whispered, confused. She ran from the
 bedroom into the bathroom and he could hear water running. She
 emerged half an hour later, her eyes red, but mostly clear of
 makeup. She stopped at the doorway, then squared her shoulders
 and half ran to the bed, climbing on beside him. She ran her
 tiny hands across his chest, her fingers rapidly undoing the
 buttons as if to get it over with as soon as possible.
 
 Ray yelped and jumped off the bed. 
 
 "What are you doing, kid?"
 
 The girl looked up at him in astonishment. Then her lips
 trembled and she started to cry. Ray sat down carefully beside
 her.
 
 "I didn't do it right, Mr. Armande?" The girl whispered,
 not raising her head, still sobbing. "I'm sorry. I tried,
 really I did."
 
 "I know, honey." Ray said gently. "I don't want to play
 that game."
 
 "Oh." The girl looked up and backed away. "You want..." 
 She cried harder, and unwillingly began to untie the sash of her
 dress.
 
 "No." Ray practically yelled, then softened his tone. "No,
 honey, I just want to talk to you." He grabbed some tissues and
 lifted her chin to wipe her eyes and held the tissue so she could
 blow her nose. 
 
 "What is your name?" Ray asked, watching her carefully. 
 She was so scared, yet strangely docile.
 
 "Melinda." The girl whispered. She looked up and stared 
 at him for a long time with solemn blue eyes. "You aren't Mr.
 Armande."
 
 "No, honey, I'm not." Ray knew he was blowing cover, but
 there was no way in hell he was going to let this little girl
 think he was about to jump on her. "I'm pretending to be. You
 have to pretend that I am Mr. Armande, too."
 
 "How do I do that?" The girl wondered. 
 
 "Okay, Mr. Armande plays... games... with you. You have to
 pretend that we did play those games, but we won't, okay?"
 
 "You don't want to play?" Melinda looked at him as if he
 had grown an extra head.
 
 "No." Ray shook his head. 
 
 ****
 
 It took Ray a while to convince Melinda that he didn't want
 to hurt her. They ended up watching television together, with
 her head on his shoulder. He had talked her into changing out of
 the slinky, too adult dress into a small robe he found in the
 armoire. Melinda changed out of her clothes unselfconsciously,
 glancing over her shoulder to be sure she was safe, as she did
 so, Ray carefully kept his eyes averted, afraid of what he'd
 see. The presence of the robe told him everything he wanted to
 know about Armande Lagostini and he felt sick.
 
 Melinda relaxed as she watched television, falling asleep
 near the end of the movie. Ray pulled the comforter over her,
 marvelling at how much she trusted him. Then again, he had spent
 two hours alone with her and hadn't touched her. That spoke
 volumes about what this beautiful little girl's life was like.
 
 Ray took a shower, putting on Lagostini's silk pyjamas and
 robe. He wasn't sure if Melinda normally spent the entire night
 with him, but he wasn't going to disturb her. He climbed into
 bed, under the covers, so she wouldn't touch him accidentally,
 and tried to sleep.
 
 ****
 
 It was very late when Melinda whimpered in her sleep. Ray
 was wide awake instantly. 
 
 "What is it, honey?" He asked her softly, propping himself
 on his elbow. In the dim of the room, he could see her blue eyes
 flutter open. 
 
 "I'm scared." She whispered. To his surprise, she pushed
 away the comforter and wriggled until she was next to him under
 the covers. Automatically, Ray drew her into his arms. 
 
 "What are you scared of, Melinda? I won't hurt you."
 
 "I know." She whispered. "He made me promise not to tell. 
 He hurt me and I broke my promise. I told Mama."
 
 "And what did your Mama say?" Ray didn't like where this
 was going.
 
 "She told me I was a bad girl for breaking a promise." 
 Melinda replied. "She made me go back to Mr. Armande."
 
 Ray said nothing. He had to consciously relax, so as not to
 scare Melinda. 
 
 "Do you want to know what games Mr. Armande wants to play?"
 
 No, Ray thought. I don't what to know what that animal did
 to you. 
 
 "Do you want to tell me?"
 
 "Uh-hunh. I'd tell my daddy and he'd fix it, but Mama won't
 let me see him. You're like my daddy, so I'll tell you."
 
 In whispers, Melinda told him. She ended up crying bitterly
 into his shoulder, no longer a baby seductress, but a horribly
 wounded child. Ray waited until she had cried herself to sleep,
 then eased his way to the bathroom and threw up until there was
 nothing left to expel.
 
 ****
 
 Melinda was awake when he woke up. With a laugh, she jumped
 on the bed, jolting him out of sleep. He tickled her and she
 kissed him on the cheek.
 
 "Good morning, honey." Ray sat up and smiled at her. With
 her long blonde hair in tangles around her face, she looked
 carefree and happy.
 
 "'Morning." She grinned at him. "I washed behind my ears
 and I brushed my teeth."
 
 "Good girl. I'll see if I can get us some breakfast." Ray
 replied. Melinda's smile faded and her shoulders drooped. 
 "What's the matter? Not hungry?"
 
 "Mama will be mad at me." Melinda said sadly. "She told me
 I had to..."
 
 "Listen, honey." Ray sat beside her. "There aren't going to
 be any more games like that. Your mama and the others think I'm
 Mr. Armande. We have to pretend that I am Mr. Armande. That
 means you'll come and see me, but instead of playing those games,
 we'll watch movies. But you can't tell anybody that I'm not Mr.
 Armande or that we don't play those games. If anybody finds out
 we're just pretending, they'll hurt both of us. I won't let
 anybody hurt you, so long as we keep pretending."
 
 "You want me to pretend that you're Mr. Armande?"
 
 "Yes."
 
 "You won't hurt me?"
 
 "No."
 
 "And Mama won't be mad at me?"
 
 "No. I promise."
 
 Ray was about to say something else, but a discreet knock
 came to the door.
 
 "Mr. Lagostini?" It was Guiseppe.
 
 "Melinda, I am not trying to play one of Mr. Armande's
 games, but we have to pretend we are. Do you understand?"
 
 Melinda nodded and, with extreme reluctance, he kissed her,
 just as Guiseppe came in with a tray. He could feel her tremble,
 and shrink in his arms. He lifted his lips from hers, but held
 her in his lap as Guiseppe put the tray down.
 
 "Anything else, Mr. Lagostini?" He asked, with a knowing
 smirk.
 
 "No." Ray didn't trust himself to say any more. 
 
 "Shall I take the little lady home?"
 
 "Not just yet." He held Melinda a little tighter and she
 trembled harder. 
 
 "Right." Guiseppe's smirk broadened into a grin and he
 left. As the door closed behind him, he released Melinda, who
 fled into the bathroom.
 
 ****
 
 Ray could still see Melinda's scared little face in his
 mind's eye. He could still remember how he felt kissing the
 girl. Although he knew that Lagostini had done far worse to her
 and he had done his best to help her, that kiss was wrong. No
 matter the circumstances, he had molested that child. And he
 knew he'd do it again in a heartbeat, just to keep her safe.
 
 He looked over at Fraser, who was sitting in bed, reading. 
 As if feeling Ray's eyes on him, he looked up and smiled. His
 blue eyes were exactly the colour of Melinda's, and the innocence in
 those eyes, exactly as Melinda's should have had, hurt Ray
 horribly.
 
 "Are you all right, Ray?" Fraser was concerned. Ray looked
 terrible. 
 
 "Benny, you ever been undercover?"
 
 "Yes."
 "You ever have to do something really wrong to keep the
 cover?"
 
 "Yes.." Fraser hesitated. He had done very few undercover
 assignments and those were minor. He had done some things that
 violated his ethical standards, but he was sure that Ray wasn't
 talking about swearing or littering. 
 
 "Lagostini was an animal." Ray stated flatly. "And I'm
 starting to be like him."
 
 "No, Ray." Fraser got up and sat on the edge of Ray's bed. 
 "You aren't anything like Lagostini. Except in looks, of
 course."
 
 "How do you know, Benny?" Ray replied fiercely, sitting up. 
 "How do you know? Did you know Lagostini?"
 
 "No. I know you." Fraser said gently. Ray looked into his
 eyes, those beautiful clear blue eyes, and leaned forward. 
 Without really meaning to, he kissed Fraser.
 
 Fraser, startled, flinched and tried to pull back.
 
 "No, dammit, don't run away from me." Ray said in an
 agonized tone. He drew Fraser onto the bed, pushing him onto his
 back.
 
 "I'm not, Ray." He said soothingly. He looked up at Ray,
 who was leaning over him with deep felt pain in his eyes. They
 looked at each other for a long time. Then Fraser slowly brought
 his left hand up to the back of Ray's neck and pulled him closer. 
 Their lips met. Ray shifted without breaking the kiss and Fraser
 shifted as well, so that they were lying together, bodies
 touching, neither knowing quite why this was happening.
 
 ****
 
 Fraser felt Ray's tongue invade his mouth and shivered. He
 hadn't known a simple kiss could be quite so erotic. Victoria's
 kisses were sensual; Margaret's kiss was hungry, but Ray's kiss
 went straight to his groin. He prided himself on his self
 control and this kiss had brushed away all vestiges of control in
 a tide of erotic longing. 
 
 "It's okay, sweet." Ray murmured, moving to nibble softly
 on his ear. "I won't hurt you. I promise I won't hurt you."
 
 Fraser didn't answer. He fought down an urge to grab Ray,
 fling him down on the bed and fuck him senseless. He forced
 himself to relax, to concentrate on Ray. Ray was bestowing
 kisses along his jawline, his fingers tweaking his nipples. He
 could feel Ray's cock poking out of his pyjama bottoms, hard and
 hot against his thigh. He lay quietly for a moment, then moved
 to take Ray's cock in hand. Ray shuddered at the first touch,
 then started to move his hips, thrusting into Fraser's fist. His
 lips descended on Fraser's again, with avid hunger.
 
 Fraser finally broke the kiss and pushed Ray onto his back. 
 Stripping off Ray's pyjamas with swift, sure fingers, he ran his
 hands along Ray's body, none too gently, then bent to take that
 hard cock in his mouth. 
 
 "Oh, God." Ray groaned, hips lifting off the bed. Nobody,
 not Angie, not any of his girlfriends, not even the one guy he'd
 fooled around with had ever sucked him like this. Fraser's
 prelediction for tasting and licking things certainly gave him
 some interesting talents. Fraser continued to taste, lick and
 suck, driving him crazy with desire. He felt his balls tighten
 and, with a hoarse cry, he came into his friend's mouth.
 
 Fraser, his lip shining with Ray's juices, kissed his way up
 his friend's body, finally reaching those full sensual lips. He
 kissed Ray, forcing his mouth open, invading with his agile
 tongue. He drew back and smiled, his eyes shining.
 
 Ray saw those blue eyes and Melinda flashed into his mind. 
 She would have done that for him, he knew, out of fear. For a
 split second, he didn't see Fraser; he saw a little girl with his
 semen making her lips full and shiny in the dim light. He closed
 his eyes.
 
 "I'm sorry, Melinda." He murmured very softly. "I'm so
 sorry." Then he wrapped his arms and legs around Fraser,
 revelling in the big, hard masculinity of his friend, rejoicing
 in the hard cock that was pressed into his belly.
 
 "Ray?" Fraser heard him murmur something, but was too intent
 on the writhing body beneath him to pay much attention.
 
 "Fuck me, Benny. Give it to me." Ray moaned, slipping his
 hand between their bodies and taking the hard shaft into his
 hand. 
 
 Fraser was only too willing to oblige. With another hard,
 tongue filled kiss, he turned Ray onto his side and moved into
 position. A bit clumsily, he directed his shaft to the tiny
 opening in Ray's body. He tried to be gentle, but it required
 considerable force to penetrate the opening. He stopped, just
 inside, afraid that he had hurt Ray.
 
 He had, and Ray welcomed the pain. Ray relaxed consciously
 and Fraser slowly slipped in. Once fully inside, Fraser stopped. 
 Ray panted for a moment, then his body accustomed itself to the
 intrusion, and the pain lessened.
 
 "Do it, Benny." Ray urged. "Please, love, please."
 
 Once he felt Ray relax around him, Fraser slowly thrust into
 his friend. It was hot and tight. He pulled back and thrust
 again and, this time heard Ray moan with pleasure. It took all
 his tenuous self control to move slowly, not to thrust as hard
 and fast as his body wanted him to.
 
 "Oh, God, Benny, harder." Ray begged. There was no pain
 now, just an excruciating pleasure as Fraser picked up the pace. 
 Both of them were bathed in sweat and Fraser's moans mixed with
 Ray's as he thrust harder and faster. With a shout that nearly
 deafened Ray, Fraser came to a roaring climax, shuddering with
 the aftershocks. 
 
 It was a full five minutes before either of them could move. 
 Fraser withdrew and flopped onto his back, utterly spent. Ray
 rolled onto his front beside Fraser, laying his head across his
 folded arms, also exhausted. 
 
 The room stayed silent; neither of them felt like talking. 
 Fraser had nothing to say. He was trying to figure out why he
 had responded so powerfully to Ray's kiss. He had known for a
 long time that he found Ray sexually attractive; he had dealt
 with his bisexuality long ago. He just never thought that Ray
 would be interested in him, or that at the first sign of
 attraction, he'd respond like a caribou in heat. The lack of
 control disturbed him. He liked slow, seductive sex; had never
 wanted raw, animal encounters. Yet at the first sign of
 attraction from a man he wanted, he had eschewed tenderness for
 sheer physical gratification. 
 
 He knew he was lonely. He knew he was lonely for Ray in
 particular. Perhaps it was because there was no time for sweet
 seduction; Ray would be leaving soon. When Ray got back, there
 would be plenty of time for romance. Now that he knew Ray wanted
 him, he would prepare a welcome home that Ray would never forget. 
 As he fell asleep, his mind awhirl with plans, he wondered idly
 who Melinda was.
 
 Ray felt the solid warmth of Fraser beside him and felt safe
 for the first time in a long time. This was something he wanted
 for himself, not something Armande Lagostini took for himself. 
 He wanted proof that Benny wanted him, that he wasn't ashamed or
 disgusted by him; that Benny had forgiven him for leaving. He
 loved Benny so much and for so long. It tore him apart to leave
 Chicago and what Lagostini did to Melinda widened the hole. He
 felt as if the gap in his heart was leaking bits of Ray Vecchio
 and letting Armande Lagostini fill in what was missing. Here,
 with Benny beside him, with Benny's essence inside him, he felt
 whole again. Moving closer, he fell asleep with Fraser's arms holding
 him close.
 
 ****
 
 Fraser and Ray woke at almost exactly the same time. Ray
 looked at Fraser, then gently disengaged himself from the other
 man's embrace and went to take a shower. Fraser sat up and ran
 his hand through his hair. Then he picked up the telephone and
 called Leftenant Welsh about the day's schedule.
 
 Once dressed and finished breakfast, Huey came to pick them
 up and that was the last chance they had to be alone together. 
 Neither of them referred to the events of the night before.
 
 ****
 
 The meeting took place in Welsh's office. The shooter was
 in custody and it was considered safe for Armande Lagostini to be
 there now. Ray was brought into the office in handcuffs, with
 Fraser leading him. 
 
 "Kevin." Ray nodded to the lawyer, who stood respectfully
 at his entrance. 
 
 "Mr. Lagostini. Lieutenant Welsh, my client possesses a
 valid firearms permit for the state of Illinois. If the police
 officer who took the initiative was a little more scrupulous
 about proper procedure, this whole incident would not have taken
 place." 
 
 "You're right. Mr. Lagostini, you're free to go. We
 apologize for the inconvenience." Welsh took the handcuff keys
 and unlocked the cuffs. He knew, as did Ray, that the ink on the
 permit wasn't even dry yet and it lacked verifiable signatures
 from the proper sources.
 
 "Mr. Lagostini, I strongly suggest that you consider
 pressing charges for false arrest." 
 
 "No, Kevin, I've spent far too much time in Chicago as it
 is." Ray replied. "Apology accepted. Lieutenant Welsh, what
 about the shooting incident?"
 
 "The guy was high on dope, made some wild accusations and
 took a few pot shots. It's unavoidable in a downtown precinct."
 
 "How inconvenient." Ray sniffed and turned to leave. What
 bullshit, he thought.
 
 ****
 
 They were on the way out when a voice screamed out, causing
 both Ray and his lawyer to stop in their tracks.
 
 "Fucking pervert. Lagostini, you're a dead man for what you
 did to my daughter." A man, followed by Ray Kowalski, Jack Huey
 and Tom Dewey, ran up to Ray, panting. "They're saying that I
 was on drugs, but I know what you did to my little girl. I got
 her back and she told me what you did to her. You fucking child
 molester. She's only seven, you bastard."
 
 Ray ignored his lawyer's attempt to get him to keep on
 walking and looked around. In a corner, by his old desk, was
 Melinda. She looked at her furious father, then at Ray. 
 Bursting into tears, she ran to Ray. Automatically, he knelt.
 
 "I didn't tell. I didn't." She said to him. 
 
 ****
 
 "Mr. Lagostini, if you would come this way." Welsh seemed
 to be the only one with any presence of mind. Kowalski was
 looking at Ray with loathing, Huey looked disgusted and Dewey
 looked confused. Fraser looked absolutely blank. 
 
 "Lieutenant, my client's rights..."
 
 "Are being protected if you come with us." A hint of
 impatience hardened Welsh's voice. They all trooped into one of
 the interrogation rooms, Melinda refusing to let go of Ray's
 hand.
 
 "All right, what's this all about?" Welsh demanded. "Mr.
 Wells, you first."
 
 "That fucking bastard..." Wells stabbed a finger at Ray,
 then stopped to take a deep breath. "I picked Melinda up from
 school two days ago. My ex wouldn't let me see her, so I got a
 court order and she had to let me visit with Melinda. Melinda
 told me about the games Mr. Armande would play with her and I
 took her to a doctor. She's been... violated. I did some
 checking around and found out that Lagostini was in Chicago. I
 was going to kill you, you son of a bitch. I want to see you
 nailed to the wall for what you did to my daughter."
 
 Fraser's expression grew more impassive. This seven year
 old child was Melinda?
 
 "What did he do to you, Melinda?" Welsh asked her gently.
 
 "Nothing. He didn't do anything to me." Melinda answered,
 in a whisper. "I swear, daddy, he didn't do anything to me."
 
 Wells' jaw tightened. 
 
 "Mr. Lagostini?" Welsh looked to Ray.
 
 "I know Melinda. She's the daughter of one of my
 administrative assistants. I let her watch movies on my VCR when
 she was waiting for her mother, that's all." Ray replied
 carefully. Melinda looked to her father and nodded in agreement.
 
 "Lagostini, everybody knows what you do to little girls."
 Wells said venomously. 
 
 "Can you provide proof, Mr. Wells?" The lawyer asked
 calmly. "Provide witnesses? Melinda herself says that Mr.
 Lagostini didn't molest her, so unless you have more solid
 evidence, I suggest you desist in these insinuations."
 
 "You tried to cover up my accusations." Wells glared at
 Welsh. "And Melinda is too scared to testify against Lagostini. 
 You know damn well that there aren't any witnesses that aren't in
 his pocket. That's why I tried to kill the son of a bitch
 instead of filing charges."
 
 "Book him for attempted murder." Welsh said to Huey.
 
 "Lieutenant Welsh, is that necessary?" Ray asked suddenly. 
 "Mr. Wells won't be bothering me again, will you, Mr. Wells? 
 After all, you have your hands full caring for that beautiful
 daughter of yours, don't you?" Yes, Wells had got the message,
 loud and clear.
 
 "Since you're the intended victim, I suppose we can drop any
 charges." Welsh sighed. "I trust you'll be leaving Chicago, Mr.
 Lagostini?"
 
 "Right away. Come along, Kevin. I've wasted far too much
 time already." Ray rose languidly and went over to Melinda. "I
 don't think your father will want you to see me anymore. 
 Goodbye, honey."
 
 "Goodbye." Melinda gave him a fierce hug, then kissed him
 on the lips. Ray pushed her away gently and left. 
 
 ****
 
 "No. My brother would never touch a kid. No way." 
 Francesca said vehemently. Huey, Elaine, Welsh, Dewey, Fraser
 and Kowalski were sitting around Kowalski's living room. The
 issue had to be discussed and that was the only place private
 enough.
 
 "I agree. Ray could be a real pain in the ass, but a child
 molester? No."
 
 "I don't know. If Lagostini was already screwing the kid
 and she didn't mind, maybe he's doing it to keep the cover." 
 Dewey offered his opinion, only to be sharply swatted across the
 back of the head by Elaine.
 
 "Lieutenant?" Kowalski asked, taking another swig of beer.
 
 "I don't think Ray would go that far for the sake of a
 cover." Welsh said absently. He was thinking hard about how to
 cover all this up until the job was done. He had known that
 Lagostini liked little girls, but he knew Ray would have refused
 the job had he known. He also knew how deeply Ray could go
 undercover if he had to. He wasn't sure at all whether Ray had
 been with the kid or not. If it had been the only way to protect
 the girl, he might have, depending on how closely Lagostini was
 watched by his own men. He hoped not, but if Ray had been
 fooling around with the girl, he wouldn't physically hurt her. 
 Melinda's reaction was typical of a victim who was both afraid of
 and loved her tormentor. Welsh didn't want to discuss it. He
 didn't even want to think about it.
 
 "I don't know the guy." Kowalski began. "But I don't think
 Fraser would be close friends with a guy who'd screw a little
 kid. So my vote's no."
 
 Fraser sat a little apart from the others. Six months ago,
 he would have said no, without question. Ray wasn't a sexual
 deviant. He wasn't cruel and he wasn't immoral. 
 
 However, he recalled what Ray had said. Ray had hinted that
 he had done things for the sake of the cover that he was ashamed
 of; things that he wouldn't tell Fraser about. And, while making
 love, Ray had murmured "I'm sorry, Melinda, I am so sorry..."
 
 "Benton?" Francesca asked. "Tell the Dew-drip over there
 that he's got it all wrong." 
 
 "Ray is a decent and caring man." Fraser said carefully. 
 "I think he's very sorry for what has happened to Melinda. Ray
 would never hurt a child in any way and I resent any implication
 that he may have done so."
 
 Ray would not have, he thought. But how much of the man I
 saw today is Ray Vecchio and how much is Armande Lagostini?
 
 
 
 Comments can be sent to: ar895@freenet.carleton.ca 
 
 
 
 --
 Adrienne ar895@freenet.carleton.ca
 
 
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