Usual Disclaimer: No Canadian Mounties or Chicago Cops were harmed during
the production of this fanfiction, and I don't own the characters,
Alliance
does. Rating: PG, slash, m/m, h/c
Followup to "Fraser Loves Ray"
Feedback, chocolate, marriage proposals and otters accepted at
wy236@victoria.tc.ca (Please can I have some feedback? Please?)

			 Fraser Still Loves Ray

"Fraser!" 

Benton Fraser awoke with a start at the sound of someone calling his
name. He looked around at the unfamiliar room, briefly wondering where
he was. Then he felt movement beside him and saw his partner, Ray
Kowalski,
in bed with him. Ben smiled to himself. He was with Ray. The cop had
arrived at the Consulate after he heard that a gunman was holding Fraser
and Turnbull hostage. The unfortunate gunman had killed himself by the
time Ray arrived, but no one had told Ray that. In fact, Turnbull had
told Ray that a shooting had occurred when Fraser tried to disarm the
gunman, but he hadn't told Ray that it wasn't Fraser who'd been shot.
When Ray had seen that Fraser was indeed unharmed, he'd thrown his arms
around the Mountie in relief, and then burst in to tears in Fraser's
office. He'd then declared his love for Ben, who quickly told him that
his feelings were returned. When Meg Thatcher had finally arrived at
the Consulate she'd demonstrated that she did indeed have feelings,
contrary
to Ray's characterization of her as "The Ice Queen" and given Fraser
the rest of the day off, and the next day as well. There had been no
question that he would go home with Ray, and it followed quite naturally
that they would end up in bed together. Diefenbaker was curled up asleep
in a corner of	the bedroom. Ray hadn't objected to the wolf's presence,
and Dief hadn't paid any attention to his human partner's behaviour.

But right now, Ray was obviously upset about something. "Ray?" he asked.
"Is something wrong?"

Ray muttered something about a nightmare and told Fraser to go back to
sleep. Benton had no intention of going to sleep if his lover was
troubled.
He put his arms around Kowalski and discovered Ray was shaking. 

"Ray, you're trembling."

Ray muttered again about it being "nothing." So Ben suggested that Ray
tell him what the dream was about.

"Aw, Fraser, it was nothin', really. Don't worry about it."

"Ray, it obviously has upset you a great deal. You called out my name
in your sleep. You were - are - shaking. That does not sound like
'nothing'
to me." 

Ray sighed. "It was about the shooting this afternoon," he said. His
voice shaking, he told Fraser about the dream, which almost followed
the events at the Consulate that afternoon, with one important exception.
"I thought you were dead," Kowalski said, his voice just above a whisper.

Fraser mentally kicked himself. He hated to see his partner in this much
pain, especially when it could have been avoided. If only he had told
Turnbull to inform Ray that he, Fraser, had not been harmed by the gunman.
Ray had turned away from him. "Ray," he said. "Ray, look at me. Look
at me." His lover turned to look at him and burst into tears.  Ben held
him and tried to reassure him. "I'm so sorry, you had to go through that,
Ray," he said. "I wish there was something I could have done to prevent
it."

To Ben's surprise, Ray said, "I'm not sorry, Frase." 

"I don't understand, Ray."

Ray explained that if it hadn't been for the violent events of that
afternoon,
he would never have told Benton of his true feelings. He seemed to feel
that Ben could have anyone - male or female - that he wanted, and would
never want a "Chicago flatfoot with experimental hair."

This was not the first time that Fraser had been exposed to his partner's
deep feelings of insecurity, and even inferiority, and it disturbed him
that those feelings could have kept the two of them apart. 

He considered the ways his life had changed since coming to Chicago,
and how the friendship of Ray Vecchio had helped him adjust to life in
what was truly a foreign country to him. And of his shock and dismay
when Ray had suddenly vanished in to an undercover assignment, and had
been replaced by this new Ray, so different from Ben's former partner.

He hadn't known if he could cope with life in Chicago without Ray Vecchio
by his side; he had considered asking for a transfer back to Canada.
He had almost gone through with the transfer during a difficult time
in his partnership with his 'new' Ray. He'd stuck it out, though, and
during the cases that followed he'd realized how he and Kowalski truly
made a good team. Ray made a place in his life for Fraser, and Ben had
made a place for Ray, and now their relationship had taken a new turn.
Ben attempted to explain all of this to his lover.

"Fraser, don't you know that Chicago is a better place with you in it?"

Well, no, he didn't know that, and he asked Ray to explain. 

Ray explained, in amusing detail, how, even though he had only been there
a short time, he had seen the other officers at the  27th being more
polite, more considerate, than most Chicago cops, and how he believed
it to be because of Fraser's influence. He said that even after seeing
the worst that the city had to offer, Fraser had not become jaded like
most police officers, or even ordinary citizens. 

Fraser was pleased to hear that his presence made a difference, at least
to some. "Thank you kindly for telling me, Ray," he said. 

Ray laughed. *Good* thought Fraser. *He's feeling better.* Ray kissed
him then. "I love ya, Fraser," he said. 

Fraser looked at his partner, his lover, and felt a deep rush of love
and affection. "And I love you, Ray."

And then they stopped talking. Diefenbaker looked up at them, yawned,
and went back to sleep.

End