Here.now.	Here.now. by MountieFeM

 Author's webpage: http://members.xoom.com/amymkitty/duesouth.html

 Author's disclaimer: The characters in the story belong to Alliance Corp.
and are just borrowed. No infringement of copyright intended. Thank you
kindly.

  

 Here...now... 

 Fraser sunk down in the corner of his apartment. It was taking every
ounce of his will power to keep from bawling, to keep from wailing in
pain, to keep from tearing his own heart out. His willpower allowed him to
escape with mere tears of sorrow streaming down his cheeks and the
occasional sob that slipped from his throat. 

 He looked up slowly, out the window above his head. The moon was full,
the wind chilled his already numb body. He focused on its soft faint glow.
It was peaceful, fulfilling, enough to almost believe that he was in a
dream. And that he would wake up and everything would be fine. 

 The sharp pain in his palm reminded him otherwise. He opened up his
tightly clenched hand to expose to his bleeding heart the small paper he
was hiding in it. The serene light of the moon now mocked him as they
allowed him to make out the dreadful words. 

 "We regret to inform you that Ray Vecchio passed away..." 

 He couldn't bear to read beyond those words. He couldn't, as his vision
blurred from the new tears welling up in his eyes. He couldn't hold it in
any longer. His sobs came freely now, but he was too tired and worn out to
give a total release. 

 He wasn't sure, but he thought he heard the door to his apartment open.
He thought he heard footsteps click through the room and stop in front of
him. He wiped away the tears from his eyes so that he could see. He froze
as his vision cleared, and he saw emerging from the darkness, with the
pale moonlight defining the sharp contours of the intruder's face. 

 "Benny..." 

 "You're...you're dead," Ben whispered softly in disbelief. "You're dead,"
he said with more affirmation. "Oh dear...you're dead." 

 "Benny..." The dark green eyes shown brightly with moisture. 

 "Dead..." he repeated. If it weren't for the fact that he already had
experience talking to his dead father, he would have thought he was losing
his mind. Then again, maybe he was. 

 "Benny..." Ben felt strong arms envelope him and felt himself being
pressed against the firm body. The man certainly felt very real. He
reached out tentatively, and carefully put his arms around his friend,
afraid that the form would just slip through his fingers. When he was sure
that the man was real, that it really was Ray, he clutched him as hard as
he could, swearing he would not let go. He began sobbing again and heard
his own cries mix with Ray's and felt his own tears mix with Ray's as he
buried his face against the other man's neck. "Shh...it's okay. It's
alright. I'm here, Benny. It's all over." 

 "How? It's really you..." He couldn't get his words out, but he was quite
certain it didn't matter anymore. 

 "It's okay. It's over." Ray pulled away and looked into Ben's eyes,
holding him by the shoulders. "It's all over Benny. I don't have to go
back. We can go anywhere we want." 

 Ben stopped crying for a moment to look back into Ray's green eyes. "It
doesn't matter where we are, Ray. You're here." He started crying again as
he remembered the pain and emptiness he had felt when Ray had first gone
undercover. When he had seen him again in that hotel room, only to have
him run to Miami with Stella. When he had tried to replace this pain with
Ray Kowalski. And then, he had gotten the letter...and he had thought that
Ray was gone forever...having him here...now...was more than he could have
ever asked for. 

 And the two men stood there...clutching each other fiercely. They knew
that tomorrow they would be together, in a plane heading north. They knew
tomorrow, they would be trekking their ways through endless tundra and the
blistering cold. They knew tomorrow, they would be at Fraser's beloved
cabin and that they would be there for days to come. They knew these
things, they knew what had happened, and what would happen. But none of
that mattered to either of them. What mattered, what truly filled there
hearts with joy was just being here...now...