Love Will Keep Us Alive    Love Will Keep Us Alive by Shannon McKinnon

  

 The title of this story is taken from
 the wonderful Eagles song of the same name. Every time I hear that song
it seems to me as if it was written just for Ray and Benny. 

 The story is rated R and contains, in various degrees, 

 m/m kissing
 violence
 angst
 sap 
 h/c 

 Whew!! 

 These characters don't belong to me. I am just having my way with them
for a little while. Don't worry, though, I will take good care of them;
and no permanent damage will be done. Which is more than I can say for
Alliance. 

 Comments Welcome. ShannonK@webtv.net 

 LOVE WILL KEEP US ALIVE 

 Raymond Vecchio was a very happy man. He lay in bed, watching the sky
lighten outside the window. He never used to wake up this early. At least
not without much pounding of his alarm clock and mumbled cursing. Now he
often awoke before the sun rose. Although he much preferred watching his
lover to watching the sunrise. 

 He looked over at the man next to him and smiled. Benny was still sound
asleep, lying on his stomach, his face turned towards Ray. Benny's arm was
draped across Ray's chest and his leg was flung over both of Ray's. 

 It was barely six weeks since Ray and Fraser had been lovers, and Ray
still sometimes couldn't believe it was actually true. He had been in love
with Benny for months before he had finally gotten up the nerve to tell
him. He had been getting signals from Benny, but he had told himself that
he was mis-intrepting things, that he was wanting to see things so much
that he was just imagining that they were really there. So he had kept his
feelings to himself, fearing that telling Fraser the truth would damage or
even destroy their friendship. 

 But he had gotten to the point where he knew that if he didn't tell
Benny, he would have a nervous breakdown. So finally one night he had
gathered up all of his courage and told Fraser everything. Benny's
response had been, to say the least, gratifying. 

 Yeah, Ray reflected, things had turned out pretty well. Better than
pretty well, he thought. He smiled at his partner and ran his fingers
lightly up and down Benny's arm. In fact, things were going so well that
it almost made Ray nervous. Part of him kept waiting for the other shoe to
drop. He sighed. He supposed that was just his pessimistic nature. Whether
that came from being a cop or just past experiences in his life, Ray
didn't know. Certainly, if Benny knew Ray was feeling this way, he would
be in for a stern lecture. Possibly even an Inuit story. 

 Ray grinned. How could one man be so exasperating and so endearing at the
same time? He moved his hand from Benny's arm and began gently stroking
his face. Benny stirred and opened his eyes. When he saw Ray, his entire
face lit up in a smile. 

 "Good Morning, Ray." 

 "Morning, Benny." 

 "What time is it?" 

 "Oooooh, it's late Benny," Ray teased. "It's already after 6:00" 

 "Really?" Ben sat up on one elbow to look over Ray at the alarm clock. 

 "Yeah, Benny," Ray went on, grinning. "If you don't get a move on, you're
going to be late for work." 

 Fraser looked at him speculatively. "Oh dear. That's too bad. I was
hoping we could get in some..." he paused to give Ray a kiss "exercise
this morning. Oh well." Fraser started to get out of bed, but was stopped
by Ray grabbing his arm. 

 "Well, Benny, it's not that late." Ray pulled Fraser in for another kiss.


 As it turned out, both men were late for work that day. 

 

 That evening Fraser and Ray were back at Fraser's apartment so that Ben
could change clothes. He had been invited to yet another dinner at the
Vecchio home. 

 Ben had noticed that Ray had seemed quiet and pre-occupied ever since he
had picked Ben up, but had figured it had to do with something that had
happened at work. But Ray continued to sit silent at the kitchen table. 

 "Ray, is something wrong?" Ben sat down across from him. 

 "No, not wrong. It's just... Benny, I have been thinking about something.
A lot." 

 "Yes, Ray?" 

 Ray looked up at Ben and smiled faintly. "Benny, I think we should tell
Ma about us." 

 "Tonight?" 

 "Yeah." 

 "Ray, are you sure?" 

 "Hell, no!" Ray said with a shaky grin. "But we have to tell her
sometime. Why not sooner rather than later?" 

 "All right, Ray. If you say so. It's your call." 

 "No, Benny, this involves you, too." 

 "I know, but..." 

 "No, Fraser." Ray reached across the table and took one of Ben's hands.
"I'm not ashamed of us. I'm not ashamed of the way I feel about you. I
don't want to keep it a secret from my family." 

 Ben intertwined his fingers with Ray's. "I love you, Ray." 

 "I love you too, Benny." 

 "I know you do." Ben smiled at him. "But I also know that you love your
family. The last thing I would ever want to do is come between you and
your family." 

 "Benny, that will never happen." 

 "Ray..." 

 "No, Fraser. I don't know exactly how Ma is going to react, but she's not
going to kick me out of the family. She loves me, Benny. And in case you
haven't noticed, she loves you, too." Ben's smile widened. 

 "I'm not exactly expecting her to turn cartwheels over this, but in the
end she'll understand and support us. Both of us." 

 "Ok, Ray. Then we'll tell her tonight. Together." 

 Ray stood up and drew Benny to his feet, then took Benny's face in his
hands and kissed him gently. 

 "Come on, Benny, let's go." 

 He led his lover out of the apartment. 

 

 When they got to the Vecchio house, Ray and Ben found Ray's mother in the
kitchen checking various pots and pans on the stove. 

 Ray could not believe how nervous he was. His heart was pounding so
loudly he was sure it could be heard all over the house. He wished he
could take Benny's hand to steady himself, but it didn't seem like the
best idea at the moment. 

 "Ma?" 

 Rosa turned from the stove. 

 "Caro, you're home! Hello Benton!" She came over and gave each man a kiss
on the cheek. 

 "Hi, Ma. Uh, Benny and I, we need to talk to you." 

 "Of course. Come sit down." 

 "No, Ma. We need to go somewhere we won't be interrupted." 

 Rosa glanced quickly from Ray to Ben and then back again. "Ok, why don't
we go to my bedroom?" 

 She was being so warm and accommodating that Fraser had a moment of
panic. What if she didn't react well? What if she was upset or disgusted
and didn't want him around her family any more? Suddenly, all Ben wanted
to do was turn tail and run. 

 Then he glanced over at Ray and saw that he was looking even more nervous
than Fraser felt. Ben managed to muster up a reassuring smile. Ray
responded with a slight facial grimace that Ben knew was meant to be a
smile. 

 Mrs. Vecchio paused in the door to the living room. "Maria, will you keep
an eye on dinner for me? I need to go upstairs for a little while." 

 "Sure, Ma." 

 The three of them entered Rosa's bedroom. "Here, sit." She said,
gesturing Ben and Ray to the bed. She pulled up a chair and sat across
from them. 

 "What's up?" She questioned. 

 Wow. Ray had known it would be hard to tell his Mother, but he never
could have imagined it would be *this* difficult. 

 "Mama, it's about me and Benny. We... uh..." He trailed off. 

 Fraser stepped in to help. "What Ray means to say is that... well..."
Ben, too, could not seem to find the words he needed. He glanced at Ray
helplessly. 

 A smile broke out over Rosa's face and there was a definite gleam of
amusement in her eyes. 

 "Are you boys finally coming out of the closet?" She asked. 

 Fraser gasped harshly, and Ray's mouth dropped almost to his knees. He
opened and closed his mouth a few times, but could literally think of
nothing to say. 

 Rosa's smile blossomed into a full-blown grin. "Oh, come on. Did you
really think I didn't know?" 

 Ray found his voice. "Yeah, Ma! We thought you didn't know!!" 

 "Come, Raimondo. I am your Mama. Did you think you could hide anything
from me? You did a good job of hiding the truth from yourself for a long
time, but I always knew." 

 "Knew, Ma?" 

 "Yes, Ray. I knew that you were gay." 

 "Ma!" Ray and Ben exchanged looks of stunned disbelief. 

 "Yes, son?" 

 "How did you know? I mean, I was married, for crying out loud!" 

 "Yes, you were. And you tried very hard to make that marriage work. You
and Angela both did. Remember all the times we would talk about it for
hours? But no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't make it work." 

 "Yeah," Ray said, reflecting back. "There was always something missing. I
could never figure out what it was or how to make it better. I thought
that if I just tried a little harder, waited a little longer, things would
get better. But they never did." 

 Ray thought back to the conversation when he and Angie had decided to end
their marriage. She had told him "I love you, Ray, and I know you love me,
too. But we just can't give each other what we need." Had Angie suspected
as well? 

 He looked back up at his mother. "You knew then, Ma?" 

 "I was pretty sure, yes." 

 "Why didn't you ever say anything?" 

 Rosa smiled at him gently. "Some things a man has to figure out for
himself." 

 Ray sighed. He was almost afraid to ask the next question, but it was
better to get everything out into the open now. "You're not upset? Or
ashamed?" 

 "No, Raimondo! How could I be?" 

 "Well, Ma, the Church says..." 

 "The Church says many things, Caro. And even they are starting to change
their opinions." 

 "Yeah, but Ma, they are still a long way off from sanctioning or even
accepting homosexuality." 

 Rosa smiled at him. "Much of the Church's opinion is based on man's
interpretation of God's law. I am more concerned with what God thinks. I
do not believe that God would bring the two of you together, give you this
great love for one another, and then turn around and say that love was
wrong. A God who would do that is a God of cruelty; and the God I believe
in is a God of love. And you do love Benton, no?" 

 "Yeah, Ma, I love Benny" How wonderful, how freeing, it was to be able to
say those words in front of his Mother. 

 "And Benton? You love Raimondo?" 

 Fraser looked Rosa directly in the eyes and spoke in a clear, strong,
voice. "Yes, Mrs. Vecchio. I am in love with your son." 

 Ray felt deeply touched by Ben's words, and he smiled at him through the
sudden lump in his throat. 

 "So you're really ok with this?" Ray asked Rosa. 

 She smiled at him for a minute. "You know, Raimondo, I still remember the
day I brought you home from the hospital. I looked down at this tiny,
beautiful baby in my arms, and I had just two wishes for you. I asked God
to have you grow up to be a good man; and to let you be happy. You have
long since fulfilled my first wish. But as for the second... you have
never been happy, Caro. Not really. Not until now. How can I look at my
son and see such happiness and ever think that's wrong?" 

 Ray smiled at her, and his eyes were full of tears. "Thank you, Ma." he
whispered. 

 Rosa smiled at him and gently caressed his face with her hand. 

 "And as for you," she said, turning to Ben, "I always thought you would
make a good son-in-law; I just never thought it would happen exactly this
way." 

 Ben laughed and looked down at his feet, blushing. He looked back up to
see Rosa still smiling at him. 

 "I also think it has been far too long since you have had a mother, no?" 

 "Yes." He said, through the sudden tightness in his throat. 

 "Well, you have one now." She smiled at him. 

 Fraser smiled at her and didn't even notice the tear that ran down his
face. "Thank you ." he said. 

 Ray, feeling suddenly bogged down under too much emotion, decided it was
time to lighten things up a little. "And she's an Italian Mother, too
Benny, so watch out." 

 Ben and Rosa both laughed. Rosa stood up. "I don't remember raising my
son to be such a smart mouth." She said affectionately, drawing Ray into a
hug. 

 "I love you, Ma." 

 "I love you too, Caro. I love *both* my sons." She said, turning to Ben
and giving him a hug as well. 

 Fraser hugged her, feeling the happiness of the last six weeks increase
even more. 

 "Thank you, Mrs. Vecchio." 

 "Who?" She asked sharply. 

 "Rosa." He tried again. 

 Rosa just shook her head. 

 "Ma?" 

 Rosa smiled. "That's better." 

 Ben's face dissolved into a grin. "Thank you, Ma." 

 "You're very welcome, Caro." 

 Ben's eyes widened at the term of endearment. Rosa smiled warmly at him. 

 "Now I have a dinner I need to go finish. I expect you both down at the
table in ten minutes." 

 "Yes, Ma." both men chorused. Rosa left the room and closed the door
behind her. 

 Ray and Fraser turned to look at each other, amazement and joy evident on
both their faces. 

 "Benny, did that really just happen?" Ray asked, almost afraid to believe
it had gone that well. 

 "Yes, Ray. I believe it did." Ben answered, the grin on his face, if
possible, getting bigger. 

 "Wow!" Ray stepped forward and drew his lover into an embrace. Slowly, he
let his hands slide down until they were cupping Benny's buttocks. 

 "I love you, Mountie." 

 "I love you, Detective." 

 Ben leaned in and kissed Ray, his own hands sliding down to hold firmly
onto Ray's ass. Ben gave a half moan, half sigh. He parted Ray's lips with
his tongue; and found it met with Ray's own very receptive, and active,
tongue. 

 Slowly Ray ran his hands up Benny's back, stopping briefly to caress his
shoulders before moving up to run his fingers through Benny's hair.
Reluctantly, Fraser broke off the kiss. 

 "Oh, God, Benny." Ray breathed, resting his head on Fraser's shoulder. 

 "I think we'd better stop while we stll can, Ray." Ben's voice was a
little ragged. 

 "Yeah," Ray agreed. "The last thing we need is someone walking in on us.
I think one emotional coming out session a day is enough." 

 Ben nodded. "I think we should... celebrate... fully later. At my place"
He gave Ray that smile, half innocent, half sexy, that always stopped
Ray's heart. 

 Ray managed to smile back, then gave Ben another, quick, kiss. 

 "Come on, love, let's go have dinner. We're going to need to carbo-load."


 Ben followed him from the bedroom, laughing. 

 

 Three days later a very rare opportunity presented itself. Ray and Fraser
had the Vecchio house to themselves. Maria, Tony and their children were
out of town visiting relatives of Tony's, Ma Vecchio was at a friend's
home for the evening and Frannie was out on a date with her new boyfriend.
His name was Daniel Tully, and he and Fran had been dating for about three
months. 

 Fraser had met the man a few times, and he was not at all impressed.
>From the first time he had met him, something about the man had rubbed
Ben the wrong way. Daniel had a very arrogant attitude, and he treated
Frannie more like an object than a woman. He also treated her very rudely,
talking to her as though she were stupid, often snapping at her and
ordering her around. Fraser could not understand why Frannie put up with
it- with Daniel. Ben had asked Ray about it. 

 "I don't know, Benny. I don't get it either." Ray had said, looking
troubled. "I know Frannie tends to attract losers, but this guy seems like
the worst of a bad lot. I've tried to talk to her about it, Ma has, Maria
has... but she won't listen. I'm afraid if we say anything more it will
just drive her closer to him to him out of defiance." 

 "Don't worry, Ray. Francessca will come to her senses. She knows she can
turn to you if she needs to." 

 "I hope so Benny." 

 Fraser sighed, remembering. He hoped so too. Ray looked over at Fraser. 

 "What's wrong, Benny?" 

 Fraser decided not to talk about the Francessca situation. He did not
want to upset Ray. 

 "Well, it seems to me that we are wasting perfectly good time." 

 "What do you mean, 'wasting'? We have a perfectly good Bulls game on the
tube." 

 Fraser looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "I had a different
sport in mind entirely." 

 "Oh, really?" 

 "Really, Ray." 

 "Well, geez, Benny, just wait a few minutes. We're in the fourth quarter
already." 

 Ben looked at Ray for a moment, then he leaned over and began nibbling
gently on Ray's neck. Ray turned towards him. 

 "Benny, what are you do..mmpphhh" Ray's words were muffled as Ben
captured Ray's mouth with his own. 

 Ben broke away. "I'm just seeing if I mean as much to you as Michael
Jordan does." 

 Ray grinned at him and turned back to the TV. "I haven't decided yet." 

 "Hmmmmmm." Was Benny's only reply. He then fell silent- too silent. Ray
began to get nervous, and looked back at Ben just as Fraser grabbed him
and rolled them both off the couch. He then rolled Ray onto his back,
pinning his wrists to the floor. 

 "Better make up your mind, Vecchio." He said, clamping his knees against
Ray's thighs. 

 "Dammit, Benny!!" 

 "That is not a satisfactory answer." Ben leaned down and kissed Ray,
running his tongue lightly over Ray's lips. He then pulled back. "Well?"
Fraser arched an eyebrow. 

 Ray grinned up at him. "He shoots! He scores!" 

 Fraser laughed, then leaned down to kiss Ray again. He released Ray's
wrists to hold Ray's face in his hands. Ben lay down on top of his lover,
pinning the Italian's body to the floor. Not that Ray seemed to mind. He
used his suddenly free hands to full advantage, using one to play gently
with Benny's hair, and the other to firmly squeeze one of Benny's
buttocks. The two men's tongues were equally active, teasing, exploring,
tasting. 

 Fraser leaned up slowly and began removing Ray's belt. He smiled down at
Ray. "Well, what are you going to do now, cop?" 

 Ray reached up and began fumbling with Ben's own belt. "Oh, I think I'll
do this..." 

 Suddenly, Fraser gasped and pushed Ray away from him. 

 "What's wrong, Benny?" 

 Fraser didn't answer. He was staring at the doorway to the living room.
Ray glanced behind him and he too froze. 

 "Oh, shit." He breathed. 

 Francessca was standing in the doorway, staring at them in absolute
shock. Fraser stood up and Ray quickly scrambled to his feet as well. 

 "Frannie..." Ray said, but he had no idea what to say next. 

 "What in the hell is going on?" Fran managed to ask. 

 "Frannie, we never wanted you to find out like this." Ray said. 

 "Find out what? What the hell is this?" 

 Ben stepped forward to stand next to Ray. Ray took a quick breath. "Benny
and I. We're lovers." 

 "WHAT?" 

 "We're in love with each other. We're a couple." 

 "A couple? How in the hell can you be a couple?" 

 "Frannie," Ray asked, "can we just sit down and discuss this calmly?" 

 "After what I just walked in on, I am supposed to sit down and be calm?!"


 A sudden thought occurred to Ray. "What are you doing here, anyway?" 

 "I live here! It is my home, too!" 

 "I know that, Fran. What I mean is I thought you were on a date with
Daniel." 

 "I was, but we got in a fight and I dumped him. He's an idiot." 

 "You broke up with Daniel? Good!" Ray was happy and relieved. 

 "Don't change the subject!" Frannie snapped. "I want to know what is
going on with you and Benton." 

 "I told you, Fran." 

 "You told me you were in love with Benton." 

 "I am." 

 "But that would mean that you are..." 

 "Gay." Ray supplied the word. "I'm gay, Frannie." 

 "No, you're not!" Francessca was astounded. 

 "Yeah, Frannie, I am. It took a lot of years and a lot of unhappiness for
me to accept it, but I *am* gay." 

 Fran looked at Ben. "And you?" 

 "Yes, Francessca, I am gay." 

 She turned back to Ray. "And now you're boyfriends. How sweet. What is
this, Ray, some sick form of sibling rivalry?" 

 "Excuse me?" 

 "Come on, Ray. You knew how I felt about Benton. You just couldn't resist
taking something else away from me, could you?" 

 Ray felt himself losing his grip on his anger. "Oh, Fran, get over
yourself and grow up a little. Some things in life have absolutely nothing
to do with you." 

 Ben finally spoke. "Francessca, neither Ray nor I ever meant to hurt you.
I apologize if I ever gave you the wrong impression or led you on in any
way." 

 "Oh, no, Benton! How could you give me any encouragement? All this time
you've been horny for my brother." 

 Ray's temper finally snapped. "Frannie! Enough!" 

 "No!" She shot back. "I have had enough of you! We still have to live in
the same house, and I can't help that, but I am going to try to avoid you
at all costs. I want nothing more to do with you. Ever." 

 Ben spoke up. "Come on, Francessca. Be fair." 

 "Fair? What about this whole situation is fair? You just stay away from
me from now on. To hell with both of you!!" Fran turned and stormed from
the room. 

 Ray moved as if to go after her, but his path was blocked by Fraser. "No,
Ray, just let her go. She's upset and needs to be by herself and calm down
and think." 

 >From outside they could hear the sound of Fran's car starting up and
pulling very rapidly from the driveway. Ray and Ben just looked at each
other. Both men were shaken. 

 "Ray, I am so sorry." Ben finally said. 

 "Benny, what are you apologizing for?" 

 "I told you that I didn't want to come between you and your family, and
now I am." 

 "No, Benny, you're not. Frannie is just having a little temper tantrum
right now. She'll calm down and get over it. It's an Italian thing." He
gave Fraser a very shaky grin. 

 Ben reached out and took Ray into his arms. The two men stood for a long
time, holding each other tightly, Benny gently rubbing Ray's back.
Finally, Ray drew away. 

 "Come on, love. Let's go back to your place. I think it's a very good
idea if we're not here when Fran gets back." 

 The two men left Ray's home. 

 

 For the next week, things were very, very tense around the Vecchio house.
After her blowup with Ray and Fraser, Frannie had not come home for two
days. She had driven over to Daniel's house that night, they had made up,
and the relationship was back on. 

 Ray, for his part, was avoiding Frannie, and the whole situation, by
spending all the time that he could at Fraser's. When Ray and Francessca
happened to be home at the same time, the treated each other with icy
silence. 

 Finally, the Saturday after the big blow up, Ben sat Ray down and had a
talk with him. 

 "Ray, go home and talk with your sister." 

 "I can't tonight, Benny, I have a stakeout." 

 "That's not for three more hours." 

 "And Frannie has a date. She is going to Club 70 with that evil creep
she's dating." 

 "I'm sure she won't have left yet, Ray." 

 "Benny..." 

 "No, Ray. You need to work this out with Francessca. I know you want to,
and I'm pretty sure she does, too. If everyone in your family is as upset
as you have been this past week, it must be a very unhappy household." 

 Ray opened his mouth to offer an argument or denial, or maybe even an
agreement, but Ben didn't let him speak. "Go talk to your sister, Ray." 

 "She may not want to talk to me." 

 "You have to at least try. She may just be waiting for you to make the
first move." 

 "Maybe." Ray said doubtfully. 

 "Oh, Ray." Ben sighed. "I hate to see you this unhappy." 

 Ray smiled at his lover. "It'll be ok, Benny. Fran and I have fought
before. We always work things out." 

 "It's time to work things out again." Ben said firmly. 

 "Ok, ok!" Ray was laughing. "I'll go over and talk to her right now." He
stood up and crossed over to where Ben was sitting. "Have I mentioned
lately how much I love you?" 

 Ben rose to his feet. "Oh, not for about the last hour and a half." He
teased. 

 Ray suddenly turned serious. "I love you, Benny. More than anyone." 

 Ben smiled at him, touched. "And I love you." He sighed. "Do you realize,
Ray, that this will be our first Saturday night apart since we became
lovers?" 

 "Yeah, I do. How am I supposed to get through an entire Saturday night
without you?" 

 Ben smiled at him mischievously. "Let me give you something to help you
get through the night." He drew Ray into a very thorough, very passionate,
kiss. 

 "Oh, Benny, Benny, Benny..." Ray leaned against him. Fraser held Ray in
his arms and buried his face in Ray's shoulder. Finally, he pulled away. 

 "Go make things right with your family, Ray." He smiled gently. 

 Ray smiled back. "I love you, Benton Fraser." 

 "And I love you, Ray." 

 Ray headed for home with a light heart 

 

 A few hours later, Ray's good mood was gone. Things with Frannie had not
gone well. At all. He brooded about it during the stakeout. Ray sighed
heavily to himself. He wished Benny were here. He could definitely use the
company. As it was, the only company he had was Detective Meara, who was
parked on the opposite side of the street, three houses down. He supposed
they could work out some type of morse code system using their headlights,
but that might be a little bit of a tip off to their suspect. If he ever
showed up. 

 Ray heaved another sigh and shifted in his seat. He had been out here
nearly three hours already and there as no sign of the scum they were
trying to catch. Ray's thoughts drifted back to his conversation with
Frannie. Man, this was driving him insane! He needed to talk to Benny, and
he didn't want to wait until morning. Ray picked up his cell phone and
dialed Mr. Mustafi's number. 

 Ben came to the phone quickly. "Ray, are you all right?" 

 "I don't know, Benny." Ray then told him about his encounter with
Francessca. 

 He had gone upstairs and run into Frannie as she was emerging from the
bathroom after taking a shower. She had looked at Ray, hesitated, then
continued down the hall to her bedroom. 

 "Frannie." She stopped and glared back at him. 

 "I have nothing to say to you." 

 "Well, I have several things I want to say to you." 

 "Go to hell." 

 "Frannie, please." 

 "No." She walked into her room and shut the door. Ray followed her in.
"What the hell are you doing? Get out!" 

 "No. Frannie, I love you." 

 That stopped her. 

 "Please talk to me." 

 "You probably don't want to hear what I have to say." 

 "Tell me anyway." Ray said. 

 "I can't believe you never told me that you're gay. Or about you and
Benton." 

 "We were going to tell you, Fran. But it's not the easiest thing to tell
another person. Hell, we only told Ma about a week ago." 

 "I can't believe her. She is totally on your side on this. She keeps
telling me I should just accept this. That it doesn't make our
relationship any different." 

 "It doesn't, Frannie." A sudden, horrible thought occurred to Ray. "Fran,
are you ashamed of me?" 

 She looked back at him, a sudden flash of anger in her eyes. "I'm ashamed
of the way you treated me. Lying to me. Keeping the truth from me. Not
trusting me to be able to handle it." 

 Ray felt a spurt of anger himself. "I don't know why I thought that.
You're doing a wonderful job of handling it so far." 

 "Go to hell, Ray." 

 "Frannie, I'm sorry. Look, I didn't come here to fight with you. I want
to set things right between us." 

 "Ray, it's going to take more than half an hour. Please leave now. I have
to get ready for my date." 

 That was something else Ray wanted to talk about with his sister. "Why
are you going out with that loser, Fran? I thought you broke up with him."


 "Well, I guess Vecchios just go for unusual relationships." 

 "Oh, that's great, Frannie. You're continuing to go out with a loser for
*spite*?" 

 Francessca looked at him, an odd mixture of emotions crossing her face.
"It's better than being alone every Saturday night." 

 "No, Fran, it's not." 

 "That's easy for you to say." 

 "No it isn't. It took me a very long time to find the right person. I was
lonely for a lot of years." 

 "So Benton is your 'right person'?" 

 "Yes, Frannie," Ray said as gently as he could, "he is. I am in love with
Benny. And if he wants me to, I am going to spend the rest of my life with
him." 

 Francessca stared back at him. For a moment it looked as if she might
cry. "Please, Ray, just leave now." She started to turn away. 

 "No!" Ray said. He reached and took her arm to turn her back around to
face him. Frannie gasped and yanked her arm away. 

 "What?" Ray asked, puzzled. 

 Frannie's eyes darted away from his. "Nothing. Just go." 

 Without answering, Ray gently reached out and took her arm and pushed the
sleeve of her robe up. He felt sick to his stomach at what he saw there.
He took her other arm and pushed that sleeve up too. Both of her upper
arms were covered with big ugly bruises. Sudden anger overwhelmed Ray. 

 "Daniel did this?" 

 "Ray..." 

 "My God, Francessca!! The man hit you, and you are still going out with
him?" 

 "He didn't hit me. We were arguing and he grabbed me; that's all." 

 " 'That's all'? Frannie, it's the same as if he did hit you!" 

 "No, it's not!" 

 Ray was incredulous. "Frannie, he is hurting you! It is only a matter of
time until he *does* hit you. Come on Francessca, you are smarter than
this." 

 "He didn't mean too, Ray." 

 "Jesus! I can't believe I am hearing this! Dump him, Frannie. For good." 

 "Ray, I have to get ready now. Please... I'll be ok." 

 "No, Fran. Cancel the date. We'll talk." 

 "You have to work tonight, Ray." 

 "Then cancel the date and hang out with Ma. We'll talk tomorrow. Please,
Fran. Please." 

 Fran's eyes were full of tears. "Ray, I'll be ok. I have to get ready
now. Please go." 

 "Fran, I love you." 

 "I love you too, Ray. I don't want to fight any more. Let's talk
tomorrow, ok?" 

 Ray left her room, but he didn't leave the house. He sat downstairs and
waited for Daniel to arrive. When the man did show up, Ray went out to
intercept him on the porch. 

 "Hey, Ray." Daniel said. 

 "Hey nothing, you stupid son of a bitch." 

 "What the hell is your problem?" Daniel snapped. 

 "My problem is I don't like assholes who rough up my sister" 

 "What did she tell you?" Daniel asked, looking defensive- and guilty. 

 "She didn't tell me anything. I found out for myself. And let me tell
you, if you every lay a hand on her again, I will personally break both of
your arms." 

 Daniel just sneered at him. "Oh, wow. Threats from the gay detective." 

 Ray gave the man an unpleasant smile. He had very strongly suspected that
Fran had told Daniel about Ray and Fraser's relationship, and now he knew
for sure. 

 "I am not talking to you as a detective. I am talking to you as
Francessca's brother. And if you hurt her again, I will personally make
you pay." 

 "Don't threaten me, Ray, or I'll make you sorry." 

 "Listen, shithead." Ray started, furious. At that moment, Francessca
stepped onto the porch. 

 "Ray?" Before Ray could answer, though, Daniel spoke up. 

 "Are you ready?" He snapped at Fran. 

 "Yes. Let's go." Ray noticed that Francessca was wearing a long sleeved
shirt. Ray looked at Fran, pleading with his eyes. She looked back at him
and gave him a small smile. 

 Daniel reached out and roughly grabbed her hand. "Let's go." He growled. 

 Ray watched as the two of them got into Daniel's car and drove away.
Feeling utterly defeated, Ray got into his own car and also drove away. 

 

 Fraser had listened to Ray's story, growing increasingly troubled. As Ray
finished, Ben tried to find words that would reassure his lover. 

 "Ray, it sounds like you at least started to get through to her.
Francessca is a smart woman. She will do the right thing." 

 "I hope so, Benny." 

 "Ray, I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but try to keep your mind
off it. You need to concentrate on your job right now. It won't help
anyone if you get shot in the line of duty." 

 "I'll be fine, Benny. Hell, this guy's probably not even going to show
up." 

 "Ray, please!" 

 "All right! I promise I'll be careful!" There was exasperation in Ray's
voice, but there was amusement as well, and this somehow comforted Fraser.


 "Thank you, Ray. Will I see you tomorrow?" 

 "Count on it, Benny. I love you." 

 "Me too, Ray." Fraser hung up, still deeply troubled. He thanked Mr.
Mustafi for the use of the phone and left the older man's apartment.
Instead of going back to his own apartment, however, Fraser went
downstairs and hailed a cab. 

 

 Fraser looked around Club 70 in bemusement. It was a disco club, and the
owners had thrown themselves into the theme heart and soul. A huge
glittering ball hung over the dance floor, which was packed with patrons
dancing to the Bee Gees. None of which did anything to improve Fraser's
mood. 

 How was he ever going to find Francessca among all these people?
Mentally, he shook himself. 'Come on, Benton.' He told himself. 'You are a
Mountie for heaven's sake. You can find one woman in one building.' It
took him less time than he had thought it would. He spotted Francessca and
Daniel at a table near the bar. They appeared to be in a big argument.
Fraser hurried over. As he drew near, he could hear Frannie's angry voice.


 "I was right about you the first time I dumped you. You are a total
loser, Daniel. Get out of my life." 

 "You break up with me and I'll make sure you're very sorry, Fran." 

 "Don't you threaten me! My brother was right about you, and I am right
about you. You are worthless scum, and I deserve so much better than you."


 Daniel leapt up and moved quickly towards Fran. "I'll give you what you
deserve, you pathetic-" 

 He was interrupted by Fraser stepping between Daniel and Fran. "I believe
the lady asked you to leave." 

 Daniel looked at him, stunned to see him there. "I don't believe this!
What is this, tag team protection squad?" 

 "Perhaps it is." Fraser actually seemed slightly amused, which infuriated
the other man. 

 "Well, isn't this sweet. The Canadian faggot is here to protect you now,
Fran." 

 "That's right; he is." Fraser said evenly. "And if you ever come near
Francessca again, this Canadian faggot will make you very, very sorry." 

 Daniel looked from one to the other. "Fine. I'm going. But I am telling
the both of you that this isn't over yet." He turned and stormed away.
Fraser drew a deep breath, then turned to face Fran. 

 "Are you ok?" He asked her. 

 "Yes." She answered; but she still looked a little shaken up. "How did
you know I was going to be here?" 

 "Ray called me. He was very upset, Francessca. He is worried about you." 

 Fran looked guilty. "I know. I didn't mean to upset him. Well, I did at
first, but I don't anymore." 

 She saw a small smile playing at the corners of Fraser's mouth and felt a
sudden, surprising stab of jealousy. 

 "So you're here because of Ray?" 

 "Partly. But I am here because of you, too Francessca. You are a
wonderful person. You don't deserve to be hurt. By anyone." 

 "Benton, I know that you and Ray never meant to hurt me. I'm sorry I
reacted so badly. It was just such a shock. I mean, you and Ray having sex
with each other." 

 "It's more than just sex, Francessca. I am in love with your brother." 

 Frannie sighed. "Yeah, that's what Ray said." 

 "What did he say?" 

 "He said that he was in love with you. That he wants to spend the rest of
his life with you." 

 Surprise and delight flashed across Ben's face. "He said that?" 

 "Yes." 

 Fraser could not keep the smile off his face. 

 With a great effort, Frannie restrained herself from rolling her eyes.
'Oh, God!' she thought to herself. 'If he goes all sappy on me, I am out
of here!' 

 After a minute, Ben spoke up. "Francessca, I hate the fact that you and
Ray aren't getting along. And I don't like the tension between us,
either." 

 "Yeah, I feel the same way." 

 "Than could we go somewhere and talk? I mean, really talk? Perhaps
somewhere a little quieter?" Ben looked around, still a little overwhelmed
by the whole disco scene. 

 "What, you don't like the Bay City Rollers?" Frannie asked with a grin. 

 Ben smiled back and shrugged slightly. Fran's expression turned serious. 

 "I would love to go talk to you, Benton. I know a coffee shop just a
couple of blocks from here. We could go there." 

 Ben smiled at her. "I'd like that. Let's get out of here." 

 "Best idea I've heard all night." Fran agreed. 

 Because they had been busy talking, Francessca and Ben had not noticed
that Daniel had not actually left the club, but had moved to the corner;
watching them. And they did not notice now as he got up and followed them
out of the club. 

 

 Ray was thoroughly disgusted. Four hours! He had sat in his car for four
boring, ass-numbing hours, and for what? Nothing. The "alleged" drug
dealer they had been waiting for had been arrested. In a bar on the other
side of town. Ray had put in weeks and weeks of groundwork on this case,
and some beat cops from another precinct make the collar. It was just not
fair! Ray swore between his clenched teeth. Could his night possibly get
any worse? He glanced at his watch. It wasn't *that* late. Maybe he would
just drive over to Benny's and try to salvage something from the evening. 

 

 Ben and Fran were walking through the parking lot of the nightclub,
heading for the coffee shop. Fraser was feeling vastly relieved that
Francessca had finally made the break with Daniel, and was very pleased
that she seemed to be willing to patch up her relationships with himself
and Ray. He smiled at the thought of how happy Ray would be at this turn
of events. Frannie saw Fraser smiling and smiled back up at him. 

 "You know, Benton," she began, but was interrupted by a voice from behind
them. 

 "Hello again, Fran." Ben and Francessca turned to see Daniel standing
behind them. 

 "You stupid little bitch; I told you I'd make you sorry." He said,
pulling out a gun. 

 

 Ray sighed to himself as he drove. Man, he needed to see Benny! With all
that had happened today, he needed his lover. Fraser always managed to put
things into perspective for Ray. Fraser could help Ray work through any
problem. 

 Maybe he and Benny could talk over the whole Francessca situation some
more, and figure out what in the hell to do. Or maybe, Ray amended,
grinning, he and Benny could do something that did not involve much
talking at all. Oh, yeah, his night was definitely looking up. 

 At that moment, the call came over his police radio that there had been a
shooting at Club 70. Ray felt his heart pick up pace. He picked up his
microphone. 

 "This is Detective Vecchio. Do we have an I.D. on the victim?" 

 "Negative, detective. Details are still sketchy." 

 "Is it a fatality?" 

 "We don't know yet." 

 "Do we know if the victim is male or female?" 

 "I'm sorry, detective; we don't have that information yet either." 

 'Shit!!' Ray thought to himself. To the dispatcher, Ray just said "Ok,
thanks." 

 'All right, Vecchio.' He told himself. 'Get a grip. There are hundreds of
people at that club on a Saturday night. It is just not logical to think
that Frannie is the victim.' 

 But if that was true, why did he have this gnawing feeling in the pit of
his stomach?
 Ray pulled the Riv into a U-turn and headed towards Club 70. 

 When he got to the club, Ray found a scene of barely controlled chaos.
The cops on the scene were just finishing putting up the restraining
barriers. There were several police cars there, all with their lights
flashing gaudy red and blue over the scene. At the far end of the parking
lot, an ambulance sat, it's lights also flashing. Ray started to duck
under the yellow police tape, but was stopped by a uniformed officer. 

 "I'm sorry, sir, but you can't go in there." 

 Ray pulled out his badge and flashed it at the cop. "The hell I can't." 

 "I'm sorry, detective, go ahead." 

 Ray continued into the parking lot, searching amidst all the confusion.
Whether he was hoping to find Frannie there, or not find her, he couldn't
say. Suddenly, though, he spotted her. She was sitting on the hood of a
car, talking to a uniformed officer. Relief flooded Ray, leaving him weak.
He rushed over to her. 

 "Fran!" She looked up. 

 "Ray!" He grabbed her and hugged her. 

 "Frannie! Oh my God, are you ok?" 

 "Ray..." Now that he got a close look at her, Ray could see that
Francessca was very upset. She had obviously been crying, and her hands
were still shaking. 

 "Fran, are you ok? What's wrong?" 

 "Oh, God, Ray." Fran's eyes filled with tears again. "Ray, listen..." 

 "What, Fran?" Ray was glancing around the parking lot. Suddenly, his eyes
fell on where the paramedics were working on the shooting victim. He
froze, and Fran saw the expression on his face change to one of horror and
fear. 

 "Oh my God." Ray's voice was a hoarse whisper. "Oh dear, sweet Jesus,
no..." 

 He let go of Fran and started over to the ambulance. Benny! It was his
Benny lying there. 

 Ray stood watching the paramedics work on his lover. An I.V. was already
taped firmly in place in Fraser's arm, and one of the paramedics was
placing an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth, while the other was
applying a huge gauze dressing to Fraser's abdomen in an attempt to
staunch the bleeding. 

 For a moment, Ray was sure he would vomit. He couldn't even tell exactly
where Fraser had been shot, his entire chest and stomach were covered in
blood. Ray's mind was reeling. How in the hell had this happened? What had
Fraser even been doing here, anyway? 

 Suddenly, it hit Ray with the force of a blow. Fraser had been here at
the club because he, Ray, had told Fraser that Frannie would be there. And
later, he had called him to tell him all about Frannie's problems with
Daniel. Benny had come here to try to help Ray and his family. A sudden
strong surge of guilt joined Ray's pain and fear. 

 Ray felt a hand on his shoulder. 

 "Ray?" He turned to face Jack Huey. 

 "Jack? You're assigned to this?" 

 "Yeah." 

 "Let me guess. Daniel Tully did this." 

 Huey looked surprised. "How did you know?" 

 Ray just rubbed his hand over his face. Then he looked up at Huey. "What
exactly happened?" 

 "From what Frannie said, she broke up with Tully tonight. He didn't take
it well, and they got into a fight. Fraser broke it up and apparently
stopped Tully from getting physical with Frannie. Tully followed them out
of the club, and shot Fraser. Then he just calmly walked away." 

 "Where is he now?" Ray asked. 

 "We don't know. We've got 5 units out looking for him." 

 "Find him, Jack. You find that son of a bitch. And make sure the arrest
is clean. I don't want him getting off on a technicality." 

 "Don't worry, Vecchio." Jack gave him a humorless smile. "We'll find him,
and we'll make the charges stick. That bastard shot a cop. He may not be
from our district, hell, he's not even an American cop; but he's still a
cop. We'll get Tully." 

 "Thanks, Jack." 

 Ray turned back to see the paramedics loading Fraser onto the stretcher.
He stepped forward. "I'm riding with him." 

 "Sir," one of the paramedics began, but Ray again pulled out his badge. 

 "This man is my partner. I am also listed as his next of kin. They can't
even treat him unless I sign the papers." 

 The paramedic paused, then nodded. "All right. But stay out of the way.
We need to be working on him." 

 "Thank you." Ray followed the stretcher carrying the man he loved into
the ambulance. 

 

 Forty five minutes later Ray was sitting in the hospital waiting room,
waiting for word on his lover. Ray sat with his face buried in his hands.
He remembered a fight he had been in once when he had been hit in the
stomach- hard. He now felt trapped in that horrible, sickening moment
before he had gotten his breath back. 

 "Raimondo?" 

 Ray looked up. Rosa and Maria were standing in front of him. 

 "Mama." Ray stood up and was taken into Rosa's arms. "Oh God, Ma." He
whispered. 

 "Ssssshhh, Caro. It's going to be ok. How is Benton doing?" 

 "I don't know, Ma. The doctors haven't told me anything yet. Ma... how
did you know?" 

 "Jack Huey called me. I figured you could use your Mama. And your
sister." She smiled at Maria. The three of them sat down, and Ray took
Rosa and Maria's hands into his own and prepared to wait some more. A
thought occurred to him. 

 "Where's Frannie?" 

 "She went to the police station to give her official statement. When
she's done an officer will drive her here." Ray nodded. Suddenly his cell
phone rang, making him jump. 

 "Vecchio." He said warily, afraid of yet more bad news. 

 "Vecchio, it's Jack. We got him." 

 "Tully? Really?" 

 "Yeah. Get this. They found him at his apartment. He was apparently
planning to leave town. But first he stopped home to pack." 

 "What an asshole." 

 "Yeah." Huey sounded amused. "He's not exactly the brightest suspect I've
ever arrested. We got him clean, Ray. He's in booking now." 

 "Thanks, Jack." 

 "Ray, how's Fraser?" 

 "I don't know. We're still waiting to hear." 

 "Well, everyone here is pulling for him." 

 "Thanks." Ray hung up. "They arrested Daniel." Ray told the two women
next to him. 

 "Thank God." Rosa breathed. 

 Just then a woman entered the room. She appeared to be in her early
forties, and she was wearing surgical scrubs. 

 "Detective Vecchio?" She questioned. 

 "Yeah, that's me." Ray stood up, but he didn't let go of Maria or Rosa's
hands. Rosa stood up next to her son. 

 "I am Dr. Visk. I'm the surgeon in charge of Constable Fraser's case." 

 "How is he?" Ray demanded. 

 "We're taking him up to surgery right now. We have two main areas of
concern. First and foremost, Mr. Fraser is hemorrhaging internally, and we
need to stop the bleeding. Secondary to that, the bullet hit a kidney, and
we need to repair the damage if we can." 

 "If?" Ray asked. Unconsciously, he tightened his grip on Rosa and Maria's
hands. Rosa reached out and put her arm around her son. 

 "Mr. Fraser's bleeding is quite extensive, and we need to stop it. The
severity of the bleeding is weakening his vital signs. He may not be
strong enough for us to operate long enough to save the kidney. We may
have to remove it." 

 Ray swallowed hard. "But... but he's going to live, right?" 

 "Detective," Dr. Visk said as gently as she could, "we don't know for
sure." 

 Suddenly Ray's legs wouldn't hold him any more and he sat down heavily. 

 "A lot of it depends on Constable Fraser himself. His own strength and
will to live will play an important part in the surgery." 

 "Then he'll be just fine. You don't know Benny. He's strong." Ray's voice
cracked. "He's strong." He whispered almost to himself. 

 Dr. Visk smiled at him and nodded. "Detective, I'll need you to sign the
release forms." She handed him a clipboard and showed him where to sign.
Ray's hands were shaking so badly he could barely write his own name. 

 He looked up at the doctor. "Can I see him before the surgery?" 

 "I'm sorry, detective, he's already been taken up to the operating room.
It's on the fifth floor. There is a family waiting room just down the
hall, and you can wait there if you like." 

 "Thank you." Rosa said. as Ray seemed lost in a world of his own. Dr.
Visk left the waiting room. 

 "Raimondo." Rosa said gently. Ray didn't move or answer. Rosa doubted he
had heard her. "Ray." She said more sharply. Ray looked up at her. 

 "We can help too, son. We need to send positive thoughts to the doctors
and to Benton, and we need to send our prayers to God in heaven. God knows
how many people down here love Benton, how much he is needed. Benton is
going to be just fine." 

 Ray looked at his Mother. He wanted desperately to believe her. He just
nodded, not trusting himself to speak. 

 

 Two hours later, Fraser was still in surgery. Ray wasn't sure how much
more of this he could take. He was nervous and edgy, and the way his
Mother and Maria kept watching him was making him nuts. 

 He stood at the window and stared out, not seeing the city spread out
before him. Instead, images of Benny kept flashing across his mind's eye.
He tried to keep hold of the positive images, happy times spent with
Benny. But the image he could not keep at bay was the way Fraser had
looked lying on the stretcher. The entire way to the hospital, Ray had
stared at Fraser, looking for some sign of movement, but he had seen none.
His love had lain there, pale and silent and motionless. 

 "Please, Benny." Ray whispered. "Please don't leave me." 

 "Did you say something, Caro?" Rosa asked. 

 Suddenly, Ray couldn't take it anymore. He had to get out of that room or
he would suffocate. 

 "Ma, I need to get out of here. I'm going for a walk." 

 "Ray?" Maria began, but Ray cut her off. 

 "I'll be fine, I'm not going to go that far." 

 Ray left the waiting room and walked blindly down the hall. Suddenly, he
found himself in front of the chapel. He went in and sat down in one of
the pews. He sat there, concentrating on trying to breathe. 

 Had it really only been hours ago that he had been kissing Benny? Holding
him in his arms, his lover warm, strong, alive? 

 "Stop it!" Ray told himself. "Benny is *still* alive, and he's not going
to give up. Don't you give up either!" 

 "God." Ray prayed, "please, please don't let Benny die. Don't take him
away from me. I need him. I *need* him. Without him, nothing makes sense
any more. Nothing else matters if I don't have Benny. Nothing. Please,
God. Please let him live." 

 He leaned forward against the pew in front of him and leaned his head on
his arms. A few minutes later, Ray felt someone sit down next to him. He
looked up to see Francessca looking back at him, a mixture of worry, fear
and guilt playing over her face. 

 "Fran." Ray said, and hugged her. Ray knew his sister, and he knew what
she must be feeling now. 

 "Frannie, this was not your fault." He told her. 

 "No, Ray, you were right. I kept going out with Daniel to get back at
you. I wanted you to blame yourself and feel guilty. I am so sorry. I
should never try to hurt you. You're my brother. All you've ever tried to
do is take care of me. Ever since we were kids. And this is how I repay
you." 

 "Frannie." 

 "No, Ray. If I hadn't gotten back together with Daniel, then we wouldn't
have been at that damn club tonight, and Fraser wouldn't be in this
hospital right now." 

 "And if I hadn't told him where you were and what was happening, he
wouldn't be here either." 

 "Ray!" Francessca said, her eyes flashing, "don't you dare blame
yourself. This is not your fault." 

 Ray looked at her. "I think we are both spending time blaming ourselves,
instead of the person we should be. Daniel is responsible for this, and no
one else." 

 "Yeah, Daniel was mad at you, he sure as hell was mad at me, he was mad
at Fraser..." 

 "Why was he mad at Benny?" Ray interrupted. 

 "Well, Benton broke up a fight between Daniel and me, and he basically
threatened to kick Daniel's ass." 

 For the first time all night, Ray smiled slightly. "He did?" 

 "Well, not in those words, of course; but that was the gist of it. Dan
did not appreciate it. He wanted to get back at all three of us; to hurt
us all. And I guess he thought this was the best way." 

 "Well, he was right about that." Fran saw the amount of pain in her
brother's eyes, and it hurt her. 

 "Oh, Ray. I'm sorry. I didn't understand before, but I do now." 

 "Understand what, Fran?" 

 "Understand about you and Benton. You two are supposed to be together.
You know, Benton told me he loves you." 

 "He did? When?" 

 "In the club. And then, in the parking lot..." Fran's voice trailed off.
Maybe she shouldn't tell Ray this next part. 

 "What, Fran?" Ray whispered. 

 "After he'd been... hurt. I was with him waiting for the ambulance. I
don't think he could even tell I was there. But he kept saying that he
loves you. He was asking for you." 

 "And I wasn't there. Oh, God. He needed me and I wasn't there for him."
Ray hadn't thought that he could possibly feel worse, but now he did. 

 "No Ray. I'm so sorry! I didn't tell you that to upset you." 

 "I know you didn't, Frannie." 

 "Ray, you will be there for Benton when he really needs you. After the
surgery. While he's getting better. He is going to be ok, Ray. You two are
going to be together for a long time. You deserve some happiness, Ray." 

 "So does Benny. He hasn't exactly had a happy life up until now. He
deserves to be happy. He deserves so much." 

 "You *both* do Ray. And you're going to get it. Both of you. Benton is
going to be ok, Ray. You have to believe that." 

 "I'm trying, Fran." 

 Francessca looked at her brother for a long moment. "Ray, on the way over
here I had the officer stop by the house. I brought these." 

 She reached into her purse and pulled out her rosary beads, and Ray's. 

 Slowly, Ray reached out and took his rosary. Going down on their knees,
the two Vecchio children began to pray. 

 

 Later, Ray and Francessca were back in the waiting room with the rest of
the family. Ray could not tell how long they had been waiting. Had it been
hours? Days? Time had lost all meaning. 

 The wait was agonizing, but in a strange way, it held its own brand of
comfort. As long as the doctor didn't come back, she couldn't give him bad
news. Ray just sat in the chair, trying not to think, trying not to feel.
Suddenly, Dr. Visk entered the room and Ray felt his heart stop. Oh,
God... 

 Dr. Visk looked at Ray and smiled. "It's good news, detective." 

 Ray's heart started beating again, at about triple speed. 

 "Constable Fraser came through the surgery very well. We were able to
stop the bleeding and repair the damage to his kidney. We are going to
keep him in intensive care for the next 48 to 72 hours to keep a close
watch on him. He did loose a great deal of blood, and his condition is
still critical. But if he makes it through the next 24 hours without any
complications, he should be home free." 

 Ray didn't dare believe it. "He's going to be ok?" 

 Dr. Visk smiled at him again. "I believe so, yes." 

 "When can I see him?" Ray asked. 

 "He is still in recovery. He should be moved into a room in about 45
minutes. I'll have a nurse let you know when you can see him." 

 Ray nodded. "I want to stay with him. I mean, I don't want him to wake up
and be all alone." Ray also needed to be with Fraser for himself. He just
didn't think he could see Benny for only a few minutes and then leave him
again. 

 Dr. Visk nodded. "All right. I'll inform the nurses." She turned to the
rest of the family. "But Mr. Fraser should not have any other visitors
until he's out of ICU." 

 "We can't see him for three days?" This was from Maria. 

 "No, I'm sorry. He is just too weak right now." The rest of the family
was disappointed, but they nodded in agreement. 

 

 After another interminable wait, Ray was finally allowed in to see
Fraser. His family had sat with Ray until the nurse came to get him, and
then they had left, with firm instructions to give Fraser their love and
best wishes. 

 As Ray entered Fraser's cubicle and got a good look at his lover, he felt
his heart sink. Fraser was lying absolutely still. His face was as white
as the sheet on which it rested. IVs were feeding him blood and other
fluids, and various monitors were keeping track of his vital signs. But
what bothered Ray the most was the breathing tube that was taped in place
to Benny's mouth. Ray knew that it was standard after such major surgery,
but it still bothered him to see it. 

 Ray moved over and sat down in a chair next to the bed. He took one of
Fraser's hands. Fraser's hand was limp and cold; and Ray held it between
both of his own hands for a minute, trying to warm it up. Finally, Ray
spoke. 

 "Benny, I'm here. I'm right here with you, love." He reached out and very
gently stroked Ben's face. Ray was relieved to notice that Ben's face, at
least, was warm. Feeling reassured, Ray continued speaking. 

 "You don't have to go through this alone, Benny. You're not alone
anymore. I'm here, Benny. I love you." 

 Suddenly, it was all too much. The stress of the last week, combined with
the fear of the last several hours, and the efforts of trying to control
his emotions was too much for Ray to take. Laying his head down on the bed
next to Fraser, Ray cried. 

 

 Benton Fraser was alone. He was alone in the dark, with only the pain to
keep him company. And he was cold. Why was he so cold? Fraser began to
feel something else he was not accustomed to- fear. Why was he all alone?
Why was he in so much pain? He couldn't remember ever feeling such pain.
He couldn't fight the pain and the coldness all alone. He couldn't. 

 Slowly, though, Fraser began to realize that he wasn't alone. Someone was
holding his hand. No, not just someone... Ray! Ray was holding his hand.
He should have known that Ray would never leave him all alone. Ray would
help him. Ray would take away the pain. Ray would keep him warm. Ray would
help him to be strong. 

 Ray. 

 Fraser grabbed the hand holding his with all his strength. 

 

 Ray was slumped back in his chair, half asleep. Suddenly, though, he
jolted wide awake. He sat forward in the chair and stared intently at his
lover. He could have sworn that he had felt Benny's hand move. As Ray
continued to stare at Fraser, he felt the other man's hand close around
his. The grip was incredibly weak, almost unnoticeable, but Benny was
definitely holding his hand. Ray's heart began to pound. 

 "Benny?" He asked tentatively. 

 Fraser stirred slightly in the bed. Ray reached up and hit the call
button above the bed. 

 "Yes?" The voice of the nurse asked. 

 "Constable Fraser is waking up." 

 "Ok, I'll page Dr. Visk and we'll be right in." 

 Ray squeezed Fraser's hand gently. "Benny?" He asked again. 

 Fraser's eyes flickered open and closed a few times before finally
staying open. He glanced slowly around him, trying to take in his
surroundings. Finally his eyes came to rest on Ray. 

 Ray could see the confusion in Ben's eyes, as well as pain. Ray could
also see fear in Benny's eyes, and he felt his stomach twist. 

 "Benny, you're ok." He tried to reassure his lover. "You're in the
hospital. You were shot, baby, but you're going to be fine. You're going
to be just fine." Ray gave him a tremulous smile, and Fraser squeezed his
hand tighter. Ray reached out and cupped Benny's face in his hand, running
his thumb lightly over his cheek. Fraser's eyes drifted closed. 

 "Benny?" Ray asked, worried. 

 Slowly, Benny's eyes opened again, and he stared at Ray with a look of
bleary confusion. Just then Dr. Visk entered the room, followed by a
nurse. 

 Dr. Visk smiled warmly at Ben. "Welcome back, Mr. Fraser. I'm Dr. Visk
and I'm in charge of your case." She looked at all the monitors above the
bed. "Hmmm. Good." 

 She then opened up the chart she was carrying and flipped through a few
pages. "Very good. And now I'm guessing you would like that tube removed
from your throat, yes?" 

 Fraser nodded. 

 The doctor quickly removed the tube. "And now, since you've been such a
good patient, you get a new, streamlined version." She smiled, placing an
oxygen tube in Fraser's nose. 

 "Better?" She asked. Fraser nodded again. He swallowed with an effort. 

 "Here." Dr. Visk said, taking a pitcher from the nurse. "This will help."
She spooned a few ice chips into Fraser's mouth. He smiled at her weakly. 

 "How are you feeling, Constable?" the doctor asked. 

 "Hurts... tired." Ben answered. His voice was a hoarse, barely audible,
whisper. 

 "Do you know what happened?" 

 "Shot?" Benny asked. 

 "That's right. Do you remember it?" 

 "... no..." 

 "That's ok." Dr. Visk reassured him. "Get some sleep now, Constable
Fraser." 

 With a great effort, Ben turned his head to look at Ray. "Ray... stay." 

 Ray smiled at him. "I'm not going anywhere, Benny." 

 Fraser gave him a warm, beautiful smile, then let his eyes close and
drifted off to sleep. 

 

 Ray was exhausted, but he couldn't fall asleep. He didn't want to fall
asleep. He sat beside the bed just watching his lover. He had been staring
at Benny for over two hours, and he felt like he could keep watching him
forever. 

 Suddenly, Benny moaned softly. Ray straightened up in his chair. Benny
moaned again, and the sound was full of such pain that Ray felt his eyes
fill with tears. He wished there was something he could do to take away
Benny's pain. The doctor had told Ray that she wouldn't be able to give
Fraser much pain medication, as he was too weak to stand it. 

 "Ray?" Benny asked weakly. 

 "I'm right here, love." Ray took hold of Fraser's hand. Fraser looked
over at Ray and smiled. 

 "Hi." He whispered. 

 "Hi yourself. How are you doing?" 

 "Ok." 

 "How's the pain, sweetheart?" 

 "Not bad." 

 "Liar." Ray smiled at him. 

 Ben smiled back at him, and Ray reached up and began stroking Benny's
hair. 

 "Ray, I'm cold." Ben whispered. 

 "You're cold?" 

 "Yes." 

 "OK, baby, hang on." 

 There was a small wardrobe closet in the corner of the room. Ray went
over and opened the closet and found a blanket inside. Crossing back over
to the bed, he tucked the blanket over Benny. 

 "Thanks." Ben smiled up at him. He reached his arm out from under the
blanket to take Ray's hand in his, and quickly fell back asleep. 

 

 Ben had been sleeping for about three hours, and Ray had finally managed
to fall asleep as well. He was abruptly awakened, though, by a sudden
sharp outcry from Ben. 

 Fraser was looking around, panicked, and he was breathing in short, harsh
gasps. 

 "Fraser?" Ray asked, alarmed. 

 Ben glanced over at him, and the panic started to fade from his
expression. 

 "It's ok, sweetheart, just breathe." Ray grabbed one of Fraser's hands
and started gently rubbing his other hand up and down Ben's arm. "Just try
to relax and breathe slowly." 

 Gradually, Ben's breathing returned to normal and he relaxed against the
bed. 

 Ray continued staring at his lover, worried. "Do you need the nurse?" 

 Ben shook his head slightly. "No. I'm ok. I... I had a nightmare, Ray. I
think I remember what happened." His eyes drifted closed. "Daniel shot
me." 

 Ray could hear the surprise and disbelief in the other man's voice.
"Yeah, he did, Benny." 

 Suddenly, Ben's eyes flew open and he looked at Ray, the fear back in his
face. 

 "Francessca!" 

 "Benny, Frannie's fine. Just calm down, ok?" 

 "No, Ray! She was there! She was right there with me! Daniel wanted to
hurt her. He had threatened to.... Oh my God..." 

 "Benny, she's ok!! Daniel didn't hurt her." 

 "No, Ray!" 

 "Benny, look at me! Frannie is ok. He didn't shoot her, ok? He just..."
Ray's mind flashed briefly on the horrible scene in the parking lot, and
he had to pause to compose himself. "Benny, Francessca is perfectly fine,
all right?" 

 Ben looked into his lover's eyes. It would be like Ray to stretch or
avoid the truth to keep him from being worried or upset; but Ray could
never get away with lying to him. 

 He looked at Ray, and in his eyes he could see no evasion or guilt, only
concern for Ben. "She's really ok?" 

 "Yes, Fraser, she's fine." 

 Ben sighed and closed his eyes again. "Thank God." 

 "Just calm down now, Benny, before you set off an alarm on one of the
monitors or something." 

 "Yes, Ray." 

 Ray began stroking Ben's hair again. Ben looked up at him. 

 "Ray?" 

 "Yes, love." 

 "You should get some sleep. You look like hell." 

 Ray looked at him in utter surprise, and Ben's smile deepened into a
faint grin. 

 "Well, thank you very much!" Ray said in mock indignation. In truth, his
spirits lightened at hearing his lover tease him. 

 Fraser's smile faded. "Ray, I'm serious. You look exhausted." 

 "Benny, I'm fine." 

 "Ray, you need sleep." 

 "You don't want me to go, do you?" 

 "No." 

 "Good," Ray said, relieved. " 'cause even if you did want me to go, I
wouldn't." 

 Ben smiled at Ray, feeling absurdly touched at the statement. "But I feel
guilty, Ray. You're losing all this sleep because of me." 

 Ray looked at him, amusement warring with irritation. "Benny, you are the
only person I know who could feel guilty for getting shot." 

 Ben looked slightly embarrassed. Ray took Ben's hand and placed a gentle
kiss in the palm. 

 "I'll just sleep right here in the chair. Hell, it's more comfortable
than that damn bed in your apartment anyway." 

 Ben smiled at him, but Ray could see the other man was losing his fight
against the exhaustion. "Get some sleep now, Benny my love." He said
softly. 

 "I love you, Ray." 

 "I love you too, Benny. God, how I love you." 

 He leaned over and gave Ben a gentle kiss. 

 Fraser could no longer keep his eyes open, but as he fell asleep, he was
smiling. 

 

 Four days later Fraser was moved from the ICU to a regular room, and the
parade of visitors began. Inspector Thatcher and Constable Turnball both
stopped by, as well as most of Fraser's neighbors and the detectives from
the 27th Precinct. Even Lt. Welsh paid a visit. And, of course, the
Vecchios were his most frequent visitors. Each member of the family came
by and paid him at least one visit a day. Except for Francessca. She
pumped her family for details about Fraser's condition, and called the
hospital itself every day, but she never went to see Fraser. 

 Ben thought he knew why. He knew Francessca must be feeling a great deal
of guilt over his shooting. Ray had told Ben about his and Frannie's talk
in the hospital chapel, and Ben had also remembered something else about
the shooting. 

 After Daniel had shot him, Ben had been lying on the ground, Frannie
keeling beside him, crying and telling him to hang on and calling 911 on
her cell phone. Daniel had just stood there looking down at them. Daniel
had then looked right at Fran and said "This is all your fault, bitch. I
hope you're happy now." Then he had turned and walked away. 

 No wonder Francessca felt funny about coming to visit him. But they were
never going to work through this if Francessca wouldn't even talk to him.
So finally, after a week had gone by with no contact from Fran, Fraser
picked up the phone and called the Vecchio house. Rosa answered the phone.


 "Hello, Ma. It's me." 

 "Hi!" Rosa said warmly. 

 "Is Francessca at home?" 

 "Yes, would you like to speak to her?" 

 "Please." A sudden thought occurred to Ben. "But don't tell her it's me."


 A few moments later Fran picked up the phone. "Hello?" 

 "Hello, Francessca." Ben thought he heard a stifled gasp. 

 "Benton... hello. How are you doing?" 

 "I'm doing quite well, actually. Francessca, I called to ask you a
favor." 

 "Yes?" 

 "Would you please come to see me?" 

 "Benton..." 

 "Please, Francessca. Tomorrow is you day off, isn't it?" 

 "Yes." 

 "Then stop by tomorrow. Anytime will be fine." 

 Fran sighed to herself. She was terribly nervous about facing Benton, but
she knew she couldn't avoid him forever. "All right, I'll stop by tomorrow
afternoon." 

 "Good! Thank you." 

 

 The next day Francessca went to the hospital at about 3:00. She paused in
the doorway of Ben's room, watching him for a moment. He was sitting up in
bed, reading. He certainly looked healthy, Frannie thought. Just then Ben
looked up and saw her. A delighted smile crossed his face. 

 "Francessca! Please, come in." 

 She came hesitantly into the room and stood next to his bed nervously.
"How are you, Benton?" 

 "I am doing very well, Francessca." 

 "Good." Fran smiled at him. 

 "Francessca, I asked you to come visit me because I need to talk to you.
I think I know why you haven't come by to see me before now." 

 Fran flushed guiltily and looked away. 

 "I think you are at least partially blaming yourself for what happened to
me." Ben continued. "Am I right?" 

 "It *is* partly my fault." Fran said. 

 "No, Francessca, it is not." 

 "I knew what Daniel was like, that's why I broke up with him in the first
place. I only started going out with him again because I was mad at you
and Ray." 

 "And you broke up with him again." 

 "Not soon enough." 

 "Francessca, it is not your fault Daniel shot me. It is his. I know that,
Ray knows that, your family knows that; even Daniel knows it. Everyone
knows it. Except you." 

 Fran still did not believe him. "But if I hadn't gone out with him
again..." 

 "No, Francessca. Daniel shot me because he is an angry and violent
person. It is in no way your fault. Don't let him do this to you." 

 Fran looked into Ben's eyes. She could tell that he really did not blame
her. She felt her heart lighten. "I'll try." 

 "Try hard." 

 They exchanged a smile, and Fran finally sat down in the chair next to
Ben's bed. 

 "There is something I do need to apologize for, though." She told him. 

 "What's that?" 

 "The way I acted that night with you and Ray." 

 "Oh. Well, Francessca, you were upset and angry. I mean, it must have
been quite a shock." 

 Fran laughed. "There are easier ways I could have found out." 

 Fraser blushed and Fran laughed again. "It's nice to see some color back
in your face." She teased, and Ben blushed harder. 

 Fran leaned on the rail of the bed and looked at Ben intently. "So,
Fraser... Ray? Really?" 

 "Yes, really." He smiled at the disbelief in her voice. 

 "Why?" She asked. 

 "For many reasons." 

 "Never mind, I don't want to know them." 

 Fraser was rather relieved to hear that. 

 "You know," Fran said "I think you will make a very good big brother." 

 Fraser smiled at her. "I'd like that very much." He took her hand and
gave it a warm squeeze. 

 At that moment, Ray walked through the door pushing a wheelchair. He
smiled when he saw how well things were going between his lover and his
sister; and he decided to tease them a little. 

 "Something going on here I should know about?" He asked, trying his
hardest to sound suspicious. 

 Fraser looked back at him. "Well Ray..." he said, trying his best to
sound guilty. And failing utterly. 

 "Hah!" Frannie said, snatching her hand back. "You had your chance with
me, Benton, and you blew it." 

 "I most certainly did." He grinned back at her. 

 "Ok, ok. Break it up already!" Ray said, pushing the wheelchair over to
the bed. 

 Ben laughed. Maybe they had gotten to Ray at least a little. Uh oh. He
hoped Ray wasn't too upset. "What's the wheelchair for, Ray?" 

 "It's for you, Benny. Today's a big day for you. You get to go for a
walk." 

 "I do?" Ben brightened. 

 "I'll just leave you two alone to enjoy your walk." Fran said, getting up
to leave. 

 "I didn't mean to kick you out, Frannie." Ray said. 

 "That's ok. Fraser and I were done here." She gave Ben a questioning
smile. 

 He smiled back at her. "Thank you very much for coming to see me,
Francessca." Fran leaned over and gave Ben a quick kiss on the cheek.
Strangely enough, Ray didn't seem to mind at all. 

 Francessca was almost to the door when Ben's voice stopped her.
"Frannie?" 

 Fran turned, surprised at Fraser's use of her nickname. 

 "Will you come visit me again tomorrow?" 

 Fran's smile lit up her whole face. "Yes. I'd like that." 

 "Good. I'll see you then." 

 

 Ben was thoroughly enjoying himself. Ray had wheeled him down to the
hospital's garden. It was actually quite large for a garden behind a
hospital in the middle of a major city. There were flower beds with
walkways winding through them, and several trees with benches under them
where one could sit and admire the surroundings. 

 Ray had taken Ben down two of the pathways, and Ben felt exhilarated just
to be outside again. He tilted his head back to look up at his lover.
"Ray, I want to walk." 

 "We are, Benny." Ray said, confused. 

 "No. *I* want to walk. You said we were going for a walk. That would
naturally involve me walking." 

 "Are you sure?" 

 "I'm positive, Ray." 

 "Ok." Ray pushed the wheelchair over to the side of the pathway and Ben
stood up. They walked slowly down the path, their arms around each other.
That wasn't enough for Ray, though. 

 Ray had helped Benny in and out of bed many times, walked him to and from
the bathroom; and to his chair by the window, but he hadn't actually held
his lover in his arms since Fraser had entered the hospital. He stopped
walking and turned to face Benny. 

 "Come here, you." He smiled at him and took Ben into his arms. Ben hugged
him back tightly, and suddenly the two men were clinging to each other.
After a minute, though, Ray pulled away. 

 "God, Benny!" He looked upset. 

 "What's wrong, love?" Ben asked, concerned. 

 "You're so thin! How much weight have you lost?" 

 "I don't know, Ray. Not all that much." 

 "Bullshit, Benny! I can practically feel your ribs through your clothes."


 An amused smile spread over Fraser's face. "I think you're exaggerating,
Ray. I have lost some weight, but not that much." 

 "Benny..." 

 "Relax, Ray. It's only natural that I should lose some weight. I did have
surgery after all. And I have been eating hospital food since then." Ben
grinned. 

 Ray sighed. "Yeah, but Benny..." 

 "Ray, I'm fine." Fraser immediately made a liar out of himself as a
sudden wave of dizziness swept over him and he swayed on his feet. 

 "Benny!" Reaching out, Ray grabbed his lover as Ben's knees buckled. They
walked over to the nearest bench, Ben leaning heavily on Ray. Fraser sat
down, leaned his head back against the tree, and waited for the world to
stop spinning. 

 Gradually he became aware that he was clutching Ray's hand rather
tightly. He eased up on his grip and opened his eyes to see a very worried
looking Ray staring back at him. 

 "I'm sorry, Ray." 

 "Benny, what in the hell are you apologizing for?" 

 Ben looked at him and smiled faintly. "I don't know. Force of habit, I
guess." 

 Ray gave Ben an even fainter smile. "Are you ok?" He asked, looking
closely into Ben's face. 

 "I think so. I guess I just over-exerted myself." 

 Ray felt a sudden tightening in his throat. Fraser, who could leap from
one rooftop to the next without a second thought; Fraser, who could chase
a suspect for endless city blocks without getting winded, was talking
about over-exerting himself after a simple two minute walk? Ray looked
down at his lap for a moment until he got his emotions under control. He
reached up and brushed Benny's hair back from his forehead, then let his
hand linger on Benny's cheek. 

 "Ok, baby. You wait here and I'll go get your wheelchair." 

 Ben reached out and took Ray's face in both his hands and drew him
forward for a lingering kiss. When the kiss had ended, he smiled at Ray.
There was a definite sparkle in his eyes. "See? I told you I was all
right." 

 

 When they got back to Fraser's room, Ben and Ray found Rosa waiting for
them. 

 "Hi Ma!" Ray said, helping Benny into the bed, "I didn't know you were
going to be here." 

 "I know. This is a surprise visit. I've come to kick you out, Raimondo." 

 Ray turned to his mother in surprise. "Pardon me?" 

 "I am sending you home to have a decent meal and a decent night's sleep."


 "Ma, I'm not leaving." 

 "Nonsense, Raimondo. Benton and I will stay here and have a lovely
evening together and you will go home and get some rest." 

 Ray turned to Ben, who was looking back at him thoughtfully. "It does
sound like a good idea, Ray." 

 "Benny, I am not leaving you tonight." Ray was more than a little worried
about his lover. Benny looked absolutely exhausted. The only color in his
face was the dark circles under his eyes. 

 "Ray, go home. I'm fine." 

 "You're fine?" 

 "Yes, Ray." 

 "Oh, ok." Ray said sarcastically. "So when you almost fainted ten minutes
ago you were just kidding around?" 

 Rosa was on her feet and over to the bed immediately. "Caro?" She looked
down at Ben in concern. 

 Ben shot Ray a brief dirty look. "I'm ok." He reassured Rosa. "We were
walking in the garden and I just pushed myself a little too hard and got a
little dizzy, that's all." 

 "That's all?" Ray asked incredulously. 

 "Yes, Ray." 

 "Benny, you..." 

 "Ray!" Ben interrupted him, both touched and annoyed by his lover's
hovering over him. "I am perfectly fine now. I am just going to eat dinner
and go to sleep. You don't need to be here for that." 

 "I will take very good care of Benton." Rosa assured her son. "And I made
you a lovely dinner. Lasagna, salad... garlic bread." 

 "Ma." Ray sighed. 

 "Ray," Ben interjected, "I really think you should go home." Ray turned
to him, ready to argue some more, but Ben didn't give him a chance. 

 "Do you think I don't notice how tired you look, Ray? Or that you have
lost weight too? You have been so busy taking care of me that you haven't
been taking care of yourself." 

 "Benny..." 

 "No, Ray. When is the last time you had a good meal? Or a good night's
sleep?" 

 Ray had to admit that Ben had a point. Ray could not remember the last
meal he had eaten that hadn't been take out fast food consumed behind the
wheel of his car. And as for sleeping, he hadn't really had a good night's
rest since Benny had been in the hospital. At first it had been because he
was worried about Fraser; but even after he knew for sure that Benny was
going to be all right, he still had a hard time sleeping. Ray figured that
was simply due to the fact that Ben wasn't there with him. He had already
gotten to the point where it felt strange and wrong if Benny wasn't in bed
next to him. 

 Ray sighed deeply and caved in. He knew that he couldn't fight the
combined forces of Fraser and his Mother, even with Fraser in a weakened
condition. Besides, Ray reflected, if he had to listen to Rosa's nagging
combined with Benny's whining for very long he would run screaming from
the room anyway. 

 "All right." He sighed. "I'll go home." He turned to face Ben. "But I
will be back first thing in the morning." 

 Ben smiled up at him "You'd better be." 

 Ray looked for another long moment at his lover, then leaned over and
gave him a gentle kiss. It was the first time the men had shown each other
physical affection in front of Rosa; and they did it now without even
thinking about it. Rosa just smiled at them. 

 Ray turned to his Mother. "You take good care of him." 

 "Of course I will Caro!" Rosa was offended. "Don't I take good care of
all my children?" 

 Ray smiled at her with deep affection. "Yeah, Ma, you do." He told her,
giving her a hug and kiss. 

 Ray then left the hospital room, a lot less reluctant than he had been.
After all, he knew his lover was in very good hands. 

 

 Three weeks later Ben was finally released from the hospital. There had
been very little debate about where he would stay once he was released.
Both Ray and Rosa were adamant that Ben not return to his apartment to
recuperate, and Ben wasn't much inclined to argue with them. He did feel a
little funny at first, not wanting to take advantage of Rosa and her
family. Rosa set him straight on that point. 

 "Benton, you are family now. You are not taking advantage. It's what
families do. They take care of each other." 

 "Ok." Ben smiled at her. 

 "So, we will get Ray's room into decent shape, and you will stay there
when you get out of the hospital." Both men looked at her in surprise. 

 "What?" She asked them. "You two are a couple, no? You should be
together. Besides, Raimondo, this will save you the trouble of sneaking
down the hall to the guest room." Ray and Ben both blushed furiously, and
Rosa laughed. 

 "And now, if you two will excuse me, I have to go home and start cooking.
How these hospitals ever expect anyone to get better with what they feed
them is beyond me" 

 "Ma." Ben started, but Ray interrupted. 

 "Benny, save your breath. Ma is on a mission." 

 "What kind of Mother would I be if I didn't have good meals for you while
you're getting better?" Rosa looked at Ben critically. "We need to get the
meat back on your bones." 

 "But I don't come home for another three days." 

 "I know. I don't have much time. I'd better get busy!" With a brief kiss
for each of her sons, Rosa was gone. Ben was looking slightly overwhelmed.


 "Um, Ray?" 

 Ray grinned at him. "Too late now, Benny. You've already committed. You
have to come to Ma's." 

 "It's just..." Ben trailed off. 

 Ray's grin widened. "Benny, my boy, you are about to learn what it is
really like being part of an Italian family." 

 Ben leaned back into the pillows. "I think I'd better spend the next
three days resting up." 

 

 The morning of Ben's release, Ray was awake at 5:00. He spent the morning
humming and smiling and in general being so happy it was slightly
annoying. 

 The only thing dampening Ray's good mood was the fact that he had not
been able to get the entire day off of work. He had several cases that
were coming to trial, and he had to go in and review the files and prepare
for his testimony. He also had a backlog of paperwork on his desk. He had
been lucky to get the morning off. 

 Ray was at the hospital promptly at 10:00. As he entered Benny's room, he
found Dr. Visk just finishing up her examination of Fraser. Ben glanced up
and saw Ray and smiled. 

 "Hi!" Benny seemed to be in a very good mood. Small wonder. 

 "Hey! You been sprung yet?" 

 Dr. Visk answered him. "As of this moment, yes." She said, signing the
forms she carried on a clipboard. 

 "Constable Fraser, you are free to go." 

 The same delighted grin spread over Ray and Fraser's faces. After some
last-minute instructions and cautions from Dr. Visk, Ray took Fraser and
escaped from the hospital. 

 The men barely spoke on the drive to the Vecchio house. Ben stared at Ray
the entire way, and Ray looked at Benny as much as he safely could while
driving the car. Whenever the two men's eyes met, they would exchange huge
smiles. Ray figured that they probably looked pretty stupid, but he just
didn't give a damn. The Riv pulled to a stop at a traffic signal, and Ben
leaned over and gave Ray a kiss. 

 "Benny, someone might see us." Ray warned. 

 "Who cares?" 

 "Not me." Ray smiled and kissed Ben again. They were interrupted by an
impatient honking from the car behind them, and Ray looked up to see that
the light had turned green. Both men broke into laughter, and Ray turned
his attention back to driving the car. 

 When the Riv pulled into the driveway, it was almost instantly surrounded
by Vecchios wanting to welcome Ben home and help carry his things into the
house. They all must have been cautioned by Rosa, because it was a
surprisingly restrained greeting. Except for one member of the family. 

 Ray and Ben were about halfway to the house when an ecstatic Diefenbaker
came hurtling towards them. He ran back and forth in front of Ray and
Fraser, barking joyfully and wagging his tail so hard his entire body was
shaking. Ben knelt down, and Diefenbaker stopped instantly. "Hi Dief." Ben
said, hugging his wolf. "I missed you, too." 

 A more sedate Diefenbaker followed the two men into the house and up to
Ray's room. Ray turned down the covers and slowly eased Ben onto the bed.
Diefenbaker moved as if to jump up onto the bed also, but Ray stopped him.


 "No, Dief. Stay off the bed." Dief looked up at Ray and whined, but Ray
was adamant. "No, boy." 

 Diefenbaker whined again, but complied. He sat on the floor, staring up
at Ben. 

 Ray knelt down and took off Ben's sneakers and socks. Ray looked up at
his lover and saw that Benny was looking wiped out already. "Why don't you
lie down, love?" He said softly. 

 Ben lay back, and Ray lifted Ben's feet up onto the bed; then eased off
his sweat pants. He debated about removing Ben's t-shirt. "Hey, Benny, do
you want me to-" He broke off. Benny was already sound asleep. Ray looked
at him and a sudden wave of tenderness swept over him. He covered Ben with
the blankets, then sat next to Ben on the bed, gently caressing his face. 

 He sat and watched his lover sleep for a long time, thrilled beyond words
to have Benny there. Alive. Safe. In Ray's bed. In Ray's home. Finally,
Ray bent over and gave Ben a kiss. "I'll be back real soon, love." He
whispered. He then turned to Diefenbaker. 

 "Keep an eye on him, Dief." The wolf wagged his tail in acknowledgement. 

 

 Ray closed the drawer of the file cabinet in triumph. He was done! Now he
could get back home to Benny. Just then Jack Huey walked up to him.
"Vecchio, you got a minute?" 

 "Just about that, Huey. I'm on my way home." They went over and sat at
Huey's desk. 

 "Look, Vecchio, I have to tell you something, and I don't want you to
freak out when I do." 

 "What is it?" Ray asked, tensing up. 

 "I got a call from the assistant D.A. They gave Daniel Tully a plea
bargain." 

 "What?" Ray asked in stunned disbelief. 

 "Ray..." 

 "What did he plea to?" 

 "Assault with a deadly weapon." 

 "Assault? What in the hell happened to attempted murder? He tried to kill
Fraser. And he damn near succeeded." 

 "I know, Vecchio. It sucks. But we can't change it now. And the judge
will give him the maximum sentence." 

 Ray laughed bitterly. 

 "If you want to try and find a bright spot in this, it does mean that
Francessca won't have to get up on the stand and testify." 

 That calmed Ray a little. He knew that Frannie had been very nervous
about that possibility. 

 "And," Huey continued, "neither will Fraser." 

 "Oh, come on, Jack. Fraser's a cop. He's testified dozens of times." 

 "I know. But this time it could have gotten a little... personal. And
unpleasant." 

 "What do you mean?" Ray asked, although he was pretty sure he already
knew. 

 "Tully told anyone who would listen that you and Fraser... well, I won't
use the exact words that he used, but the upshot was that you were..." 

 "Lovers?" Ray asked, looking directly at Huey. 

 "Yeah, something like that." 

 Ray paused. 'Oh, to hell with it.' He decided. "We are." He told Huey. 

 "You are? You and Fraser. You're gay." 

 "Yes." 

 "And lovers." 

 "Yes." 

 To Ray's stunned surprise, Huey's face broke into a huge grin. "I'll be
damned! Elaine owes me twenty bucks!" 

 Ray was flabbergasted. "You and Elaine bet on my sex life?" 

 "It's not just us, Ray." Huey was thoroughly enjoying himself. "There are
official bets, side bets, an office pool..." 

 "An office pool?" 

 "Yeah. Most people think you two are a couple, so there's a pool going on
as to when it will be official. I guess today's the day, huh?" 

 "Oh my God." 

 "Relax, Vecchio. Almost everyone is cool with it. You won't be getting
any crap. And just for the record, I'm happy for you." 

 "Thanks, Jack." Ray smiled. 

 "Hell, yes. Anything that can get rid of your usual cranky mood gets my
vote of approval." 

 "Jack?" 

 "Yes?" 

 "Go to hell." Ray smiled sweetly at him and left, Huey's laughter
trailing behind him. 

 

 Later that night, Ray was once again watching his beloved Bulls play, but
he found himself completely unable to concentrate on the game. 

 Benny had come downstairs for dinner and eaten with the family, but had
gone back up to bed right afterward, tired out from both a stomach full of
good food and the usual strain of trying to keep up with the boisterous
family. Ben was now upstairs sleeping, and Ray's mind kept wandering away
from the game and towards Benny. At 9:00 he decided to call it a night. 

 He offered his family a flimsy excuse about being tired and needing a
good night's sleep. They all saw right through it and Ray knew it, but he
didn't care. 

 Ray entered the bedroom and almost tripped over Diefenbaker, who was
lying on the floor next to the bed. Ray cursed under his breath and then
moved to his own side of the bed. Stripping down to his boxer shorts and
t-shirt he slipped into bed beside Ben. 

 As Ray got into bed, Benny awakened and rolled over next to Ray. He put
his head on Ray's chest and wrapped his arms firmly around him. 

 Ray returned the embrace. He was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. He
planted a kiss on Ben's head, and then just lay there with his face buried
in Ben's hair. Ray thought back to those terrible hours in the hospital
when he feared he might never be able to hold his Benny again, and he
tightened his arms around him. 

 "Oh, God, Benny. You feel so good!" He finally whispered, his voice full
of tears. 

 Ben turned his head to kiss Ray's chest. "I missed you Ray." His voice
was no steadier than Ray's. "I missed you so much." 

 Ray slipped his hand under Ben's t-shirt to stroke his back. Ben quickly
fell back asleep, but Ray lay awake for a long time, too wired and happy
to be able to fall asleep. Finally, though, the sound of Ben's breathing
and the feel of Ben's chest rising and falling gently next to his lulled
Ray to sleep. 

 

 It was about midnight when Francessca entered Ray's bedroom. As she
tiptoed quietly into the room, a shaft of light from the hallway fell
across the bed, and she stopped, staring at Ray and Ben. 

 She supposed she should feel disgusted or repulsed by the sight of two
men in bed together; but she didn't. Instead, she felt... touched. It just
looked right to her. Ben's head was resting on Ray's chest, and Ray's arms
were wrapped protectively around Ben, even in sleep. 

 Fran started forward again. Suddenly, the floor creaked under her foot,
and Ray awakened with a small gasp. He instantly looked down at Benny.
After assuring himself that his lover was ok, he looked up and saw Fran. 

 "Frannie? What's the matter?" 

 "I'm sorry, Ray" Fran whispered. " I didn't mean to wake you up. Benton
left his pain pills downstairs and I thought he might need them." 

 "Yeah, he might, but I doubt he'll take them." Ray smiled ruefully. Just
put them on the dresser, Fran. Thanks" 

 Fran put the pills on the dresser and turned to leave. "I'm sorry I woke
you up, Ray." 

 "That's ok Fran, no problem. Good night." 

 "Good night, Ray." 

 Fran left the room and had the door almost closed behind her when she
heard a rustling from the bed. 

 "Ray? What's wrong?" Ben's sleepy voice asked. 

 "Nothing is wrong, Benny. In fact, everything is perfect. Go back to
sleep my love." Fran had never heard such tenderness or affection in her
brother's voice before. 

 "Are you sure?" 

 "Yes, Benny. Go to sleep." 

 "Ok. I love you, Ray." 

 "I love you too, Benny." 

 Fran walked down the hall to her room, smiling softly to herself. 

 The End