Part 2   

Here is part 2 of my Due South fan fiction 'Needs'.  

If you haven't read the first part then just Due it! I think you might
enjoy it. 

As usual, Alliance have first dibs on the guys and I only borrow them for
a while.  

Please don't Sue me (no pun intended) I have no money. 

Thank you kindly to the people who emailed me with nice words. It makes it
all worthwhile. (You know how you are!) 

  

Once again thank you kindly to my daughter Jaime. She encourages me and
makes me feel good. I love you. And thanks to Babs you support me in more
ways than you know.  

Now read and enjoy and don't forget to email me I really want you to mean
it! 

  

June 1999 Needs  Written by DueSue  

DueSue@aol.com	

Part 2	Fraser finally reached the hospital. It was very late. He stood
slightly out of breath at the nurse's station waiting to ask about Ray.
There seemed to be no one in the waiting area that he knew. Maybe they had
moved Ray somewhere else. Maybe he was too late!  "Can I help you?" The
nurse looked up at Fraser from where she was sitting. He didn't recognize
her; she was probably with the new shift.  "Ray Vecchio, I need to see Ray
Vecchio please" Fraser almost pleaded. "I'm sorry but Mr. Vecchio is in
ICU and only close relatives are able to see him at the present time, I'm
sorry"	"Please nurse, I have to see him. I need to see him!" Fraser
curtly spoke to the nurse. The nurse stood up and leaned on the desk. "I
said, you cannot see him unless you are a relative!"   Fraser stared at
the nurse, bewilderment on his face, his forehead creased in a frown. He
turned and started to walk away. After a few steps he stopped abruptly and
stood motionless. Fraser realized that he had to try and see Ray. Maybe
this would be the last time he would see him alive. Fraser took a deep
breath and turned around. The nurse was sat behind the nurse's station
again marking charts. Fraser could see that she was engrossed in her work.
Maybe she would not notice if he sneaked past the desk. Fraser walked as
quietly as he could and tried to make his way around the station and down
the corridor marked 'ICU - This way'. The Nurse, realizing what he was up
to, stepped in front of Fraser and put her hand on his chest and pushed at
him. "Oh No you don't! Do you want me to call security and have you thrown
out?" A phone rang on the nurse's station and she glanced at the desk.
"You have to go I'm sorry, I have to answer the phone." The nurse started
to walk away but Fraser grabbed her arm. "Please! I have to see Ray
Vecchio nurse. Please?" The nurse looked at Fraser and then her gaze moved
to his hand holding her arm. Immediately Fraser let her go. "I'm sorry
nurse, but I, I have to see him"   The nurse studied Fraser for a moment.
'Wait here please until I answer the phone?" Fraser nodded and watched her
answer the phone. Fraser realized he had a real bad headache and he rubbed
his forehead to try and ease the pain, his eyes closed.    "Well, are you
any relation to Mr. Vecchio?" The nurse had finished on the phone and was
stood looking at him; her arms crossed over her chest and her eyebrows
raised.  Fraser looked into her eyes and realized what a fool he had made
of himself earlier. "No I I'm sorry nurse, I" He swallowed hard "I'm his
partner. He's, we're detectives with the Chicago Police department" Fraser
hung his head, he hated to lie but needs must! "Well, I may let you see
him for a few minutes, but you must promise that you will behave like a
gentleman and when I say go - you go. Understand?" The nurse smiled
slightly. "Understood" Fraser closed his eyes in relief, he was going to
be able to see Ray after all.  The nurse showed him into the viewing room
for ICU patients  "I'll go and put a light on in Mr. Vecchio's room. We
like to keep to a routine of night and day for all our patients. We find
it helps keep their body clock in better working order." She looked at him
again, eyes narrowed. "You do understand that Mr. Vecchio is very, very
ill?"  Fraser nodded  "And that he is hooked up to a lot of equipment?"
Fraser nodded again.   "I thought I should warn you. Some people find it
very hard to cope with, you know. Seeing someone they know critically
ill." She sighed. "There's an intercom system between this room and Mr.
Vecchio's, so you can speak to Mr. Vecchio if you like"  "It's Detective
Vecchio" Fraser said simply.  "Oh I'm sorry Detective. I'll remember that"
 She turned and walked away letting the door close behind her. Fraser
stood letting his eyes adjust to the darkness of the room. He walked to
the large viewing window.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  The room was in semi-darkness,
just a small light near Ray's bed. Fraser could see Ray's unconscious form
in the hospital bed. He was hooked up to various monitors and machines.
Ray's head was bandaged up, as was his upper left torso. Fraser could see
that Ray had been beaten badly. He drew in a sharp breath, he could not
tell if Ray was breathing or not! Fraser moved closer to the glass. He so
badly wanted to touch Ray and see if he was warm, see if he was breathing.
Fraser was shocked to see that Ray's arms were tied to the bedsides. "Ray"
Fraser whispered.   "Ray..." Fraser closed his eyes tight. He had not seen
Ray in over 2 years. Would Ray want him here? Should he be here? Would he
even know he was here? He took a deep breath, opened his eyes and pressed
the intercom button. "Ray, It's me, Benton Fraser. I ..I know we haven't
seen each other for a while but when Leftenant Welsh informed me about
your condition this morning I had to come and see you." Ray did not move. 
Fraser sighed, he knew Ray was in critical condition but he did not want
to believe that Ray would not recover. He realized that he did not want to
face life without him. Fraser felt the sting of tears in his eyes. He hung
his head and let the tears trace down his cheeks. "Oh God, Ray" he
whispered. For a few minutes Fraser wept silently.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Ray
was looking for the Riv. While they had been in the Consulate someone had
stolen it or so Ray thought.  He paced up and down on the sidewalk,
cursing and swearing at the unseen people who had stolen his car. "What I
want to know is, who the hell had the nerve to do this? It's got to be one
of the Bolt brothers. Yeah that's about right, it was probably one of them
trying to get their own back on me!"  'Look Son, I'm not surprised that
the car is gone. Did you think they would leave it for you to use? The man
up there wants you to prove you want to live for yourself"  Fraser Snr
stood on the sidewalk alongside him. Ray noticed that Benny's dad had
snowshoes on! He was convinced that Benny's dad was more than a little
..strange! Maybe that's where Benny got his weird side from his dad!  'So
how am I supposed to get anywhere? What am I supposed to do? I need to see
the guy in charge and I've no ride! Ray was working himself up into a
frenzy.  'Well Son, as far as I know, you're expected to make it on your
own. You always did before Benton came along, and I think that that's what
you're supposed to do now"  Ray cast about with his eyes, looking for
someone, anyone who would help him. If Benny were here he would know what
to do.	"You know Son, I think that you are going to have to make your
peace with some folks and tidy up your life somewhat. Anyway, I've got to
go now, things to do you know" Fraser Snr started to walk away	"Hey! Wait
up. Will you be back?" Ray ran after Fraser Snr grabbing at his arm. "Not
sure Son. Have to wait and see" Fraser Snr straightened his serge jacket
and made to walk away again,   "Can you make Benny see you?" Ray stood
puzzling on that thought. "Benton and I speak all the time. I like to
advise him on cases. Oh yes and help him out with that Yank who took your
place" Fraser Snr smiled proudly at Ray who grimaced at the thought of
being replaced.  "Well if he can see you, can you tell him. Tell him...."
Ray was deep in thought. 'What would I ask him to tell Benny?'	"No Son
I'm not allowed to tell Benton anything about this. I'm sorry. You're on
your own I'm afraid"  Fraser Snr walked away whistling to himself. Ray
blew out a breath in despair  "Wait a minute..." Ray looked for Fraser Snr
but he had already gone.    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Nurse Taylor pushed open the
viewing room door as quietly as she could, as she didn't want to disturb
him. The detective was leaning on the glass window weeping quietly. She
could tell that this man was in great pain and he really needed help. 
Hearing a slight cough behind him, Fraser quickly brushed the tears away.
He turned and found the nurse watching him, a sad look on her face.   "I'm
sorry Detective but you've had you're few minutes, you really do have to
go" The nurse who he had almost attacked stood in the doorway, the bright
light of the corridor streaming in around her. "You should go home and get
some rest. Come back tomorrow. Maybe you're partner will be a little
better?"  "I need to be with Ray. I have to be with him" Fraser stood arms
hanging limply at his sides.  The nurse looked at the tall dark haired
handsome man. He looked haggard and desperate, broken somehow.	"Well, I'm
just about to go off on my break and get a cup of coffee. How about I buy
you a cup?"  "I need to stay here with Ray..." Fraser glanced towards the
ICU room viewing window.   "Look. I need for you not to be here. I don't
want to get into any trouble. I shouldn't have let you in at this time in
the morning. Come and have a coffee with me?" The nurse held out her hand
to Fraser.  Fraser looked at the small hand and then back to the nurse's
kind face. "Well, I suppose I could have one cup"  "Great! Come on lets
get out of here before someone sees you and I get into trouble"  Fraser
reached for her hand.	 Down in the hospital restaurant Nurse Taylor and
Fraser sat together in a small booth near the back. The nurse was talking
to him but he wasn't listening. His mind was on Ray. He should be with
him. Fraser didn't realize he was whispering.	'I should be with him' 
"Detective? Detective are you with me?" Nurse Taylor smiled at Fraser as
he realized that she was talking to him.  "I'm sorry Nurse, I was...." "I
know" the nurse interrupted "you were thinking about Detective Vecchio
again. Look, I know you want to be with him but we're doing everything we
can for him. It really is up to him now" She stirred her coffee and
glanced up at him. "How long have you been partners?"  "Ray and I have
been friends for 5 years but the last 2 years he was on undercover
assignment. That's how he sustained his injuries" Fraser studied his
coffee cup.  "Well it seems to me that he couldn't do any better for a
partner. I thought you were going to attack me when I said you couldn't
see him" She was smiling again.  Fraser hung his head in embarrassment, he
could hardly believe that he'd grabbed her. "Yes, I must apologize again
for my behavior. I am not normally so emotional but I... I ..I thought Ray
may have...." Fraser did not finish his words, he couldn't. "That's okay,
I understand. Besides you only grabbed my arm" The nurse finished off her
coffee.  "No, it was unforgivable of me. Which brings me to my next
apology." Fraser now started to blush. "I lied to you" Nurse Taylor stared
at Fraser, as a pink glow touched his cheeks. "I'm not a detective with
Chicago Police Department. I am Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted
Police. Everything else I told you is true. I hope I didn't frighten you
too much earlier. I also hope that you will forgive me?"  Nurse Taylor sat
with a stunned expression on her face. "I ...I,... well yes I forgive
you.. Benton?. I don't know what else to say." She studied him for a
moment. "Yes I do! Do you wear a red uniform and a strange hat? And what
is a Mountie doing here in Chicago?" She leaned forward waiting for
Fraser's reply. "Well, to answer your questions, Yes, yes and I first came
to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father and for reasons which
don't need exploring at this juncture, I've remained attached as liaison
officer with the Canadian Consulate" "Oh, I see. What about you're family?
Have you any brothers or sisters? Your mother?"   "No, sadly my mother
died when I was 6. I have no brothers or sisters." Fraser stared at Nurse
Taylor with his deep blue eyes. "Ray seems to have a large family. Want
some more coffee?" Fraser shook his head "No, Thank you kindly " The nurse
stood up and walked away to get more coffee. Fraser studied her as she
walked to the coffee dispenser. She seemed nice and very easy to talk to.
She started to walk back and Fraser realized that he had taken up enough
of her time already. He stood as she sat back down.   "Going somewhere?"
she said as she looked up at him. "I must have taken up enough of your
time. Thank you kindly for all your help." "Hey where are you going?
Deserting a girl are we? I thought Mountie's always did the right thing
and always got your man and all that?" She said with a smile. "I am not
deserting you. I just imagined that you had better things to do than
baby-sit me? And yes we usually do 'get our man'" Fraser smiled for the
first time.   "Wow, a smile. That's great. Ray would be pleased. You have
to be strong for him you know? And his family. I imagine that they are
depending on you for a lot of things at the moment?" Nurse Taylor rested
her chin on her hand as she looked at Fraser. The smile disappeared from
Fraser's face and he looked sad again.	"Sit down again will you? Talk to
me, tell me what's wrong?"  Fraser sighed and retook his seat.	"I doubt
that Ray's family will ever want to see me again. Ray's sister came to see
me and.. and she told me that they didn't ever want to see me again. That
I would not be welcome in their home again." Fraser stared off into the
distance, remembering Frannie words.    ''What the hell are you doing to
us? We needed you!'  'You god damned son-of-a-bitch!!!!!!' 'Where were you
when we needed you? You have always been part of our family. We accepted
you into our home for Ray's sake. We grew to care about you. L ..love you
even!' Y..you run away! You hide! You can't even have the d..decency to be
there for R.. Ray, never mind us!  "Benton, hey Benton. Where are you
again?" Nurse Taylor snapped her fingers in front of Fraser's eyes. He
shook his head and his eyes refocused on the nurse. He could almost feel
the slap Frannie had given him as he touched his cheek. "I'm sorry Nurse.
I was just thinking about what she said to me" Fraser rested his cheek on
his fist and stared at the coffee cup. Nurse Taylor covered his other hand
with hers. "Look I'm sure everything will work out for you. I'm sure the
family will come around Benton"  Fraser shook his head as he removed his
hand "No I don't think so Nurse"  "Well, don't give up on them, not just
yet. They're hurting, just like you, you know. Time heals as the saying
goes and you just have to give it time Benton. You'll just have to visit
Ray when the family isn't around to avoid an unpleasant scene. I'm sure
that we can arrange it. Just let them heal a little and see how Ray does.
You can visit late at night if you like, but we're used to that aren't we
Benton?" She was smiling again and Fraser realized when she smiled it made
him feel a little better. He also realized that she was a very pretty
girl. 'Ray would love to take you out for dinner, on a, I believe he would
call it, a date?' he thought. "I have to get back on duty now Benton but
if you want to come back later tonight.." Nurse Taylor stood up, smoothing
down her lilac colored scrubs.	"May I wait here?" Fraser stood up also.
"What here? You can't wait here all day Benton. Why can't you go home?"
She put her hand on his arm and squeezed. "I have no apartment, it was
burned down quite a while ago and I am staying at the Consulate, well,
living in my office now to be exact. I don't want to see anyone. I can't,
not yet" Fraser hung his head again. "Let me think a minute" She stood
frowning, her eyes scanning the room. "Wait here, don't go away" She
walked quickly across the restaurant to a table where a number of doctors
were having breakfast together. Fraser saw her bend over and whisper into
one doctor's ear. The doctor excused himself from the table and they
walked away together. Fraser looked away as they were deep in
conversation. He settled back in the booth and closed his eyes for a
moment, trying to get rid of his headache.     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    He was
standing in a cemetery surrounded by tombstones. He cast his eyes around
and saw words carved into them.   HERE LIES...,  SLEEPING WITH ANGELS..., 
   AT PEACE...,   R.I.P....,          "Well Benton, I've just located
somewhere for you to stay." Fraser jumped at the sound of her voice. He
had drifted off to sleep! He looked up at the nurse who smiled down at
him. "Oh I'm sorry Benton. I didn't realize you had fallen asleep. You
must be exhausted. Dr Greene says you can use a bed in the on-call room
for a few hours. I told him that you were an old boyfriend here on
vacation from Canada and as I was on duty I couldn't find anywhere for you
to stay. Come on lets get you settled in." Fraser stood slightly
bewildered. This person had just lied to help him! Ray was the only one to
do that in the past.  Nurse Taylor was already walking away and Fraser
sprinted to catch her up.  "I'll just ring ICU and let them know what's
happening" She picked up a phone and dialed. Fraser walked away and stared
at a poster for a blood drive. After a few seconds he felt a tap on his
shoulder and turned to see Nurse Taylor smiling up at him. "Lets go
Benton"    "Well you know where I am for the next few hours. Take it easy
here, no one will bother you. I'll come and collect you when I get off and
we'll go and get some lunch. Okay?" Nurse Taylor tidied her hair in the
mirror whilst talking to Fraser. "I gotta go, see you later" Fraser sat on
the bed and looked around. It was just a small room. It reminded him of
his old apartment on West Racine. Fraser lay down and folded his arms
behind his head. He stared at the ceiling. Soon he was fast asleep.     
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~	Fraser found himself standing in a cemetery, tombstones
all around him. His eyes moved from tombstone to tombstone, reading the
words there.  HERE LIES...,  SLEEPING WITH ANGELS...,	  AT PEACE...,	
R.I.P....,   IN LOVING MEMORY ....,	MURDERED BY.....	      He
had been here before! His eyes came to rest on one where the ground was
newly opened. Logic told him that a tombstone was never erected before a
burial. He stared into the deep hole wondering what was going on. Suddenly
he could hear footsteps.   He turned and saw a procession of people, no -
police - in dress uniform. Some were carrying a casket covered by a Stars
and Stripes flag. He drew himself up to attention and took a deep breath
as they passed by him. He could smell flowers. Suddenly he realized that
Francesca was there and so was Mrs. Vecchio.  Fraser started to panic.
'Who was in the casket? What was going on?' Again he could smell the
pungent scent of flowers. Roses, and lilies maybe. Fraser realized that
they were going to the open grave. He tried to turn around but found he
could not move. He twisted his body from side to side trying to see behind
him but unseen hands held him firmly. He turned his head from side to
side, trying in vain to see what was happening. He looked down at his arms
and saw gloved hands holding him now, gripping hard. His eyes moved up the
arms holding him and found that it was Huey and Dewey holding him. No
matter how hard he tried he couldn't move. They would not let him go. 
Fraser could hear the casket being lowered into the grave. Tears sprang
from his eyes. He knew that it had to be Ray in the casket! They were
burying his best friend and not allowing him to pay his respects!  
"Please can you let me go? I have to pay my respects to the family and
Ray" He pleaded, Huey's grip grew tighter.  "PLEASE, YOU HAVE TO LET ME
GO!" Fraser shouted.   Then he heard a voice. "No, Benton you're not
welcome here." Frannie stood at his side smiling at him but it was a
granite hard smile. "You know where you belong don't you?" She stroked his
face with the back of her fingers.  "Please Francesca, I need to pay my
respects. Please let me go?" Fraser pleaded with Frannie, but she only
smiled at him as she pushed him back into the open grave.  Fraser found
himself falling backwards. He seemed to be falling in slow motion. He
thrashed his arms and legs, screaming as he fell.  "Aaaahhhh...."  He
landed hard on his back, on top of the casket. Winded and trying to get
his breath, he looked up and saw the Vecchio family members smiling down
at him from the edge of the grave. Lt. Welsh, Elaine and other squad
members were also smiling down at him. Even Stan was there with Dief. 
"HELLLPPP MEEEE!!" Fraser cried out. But no one did.   Fraser struggled to
get up and managed to work his way in to a kneeling position on top of the
casket. A large brass plaque on the lid proclaimed:  'Raymond Vecchio'
'Murdered by the Mob' 'Left by his friend' '- Now DEAD'    Fraser screamed
again "NOOOOOOOOOOO"   He covered his face with his arms and sobbed. "Ray,
Ray NO RAYYYYY!"  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ray decided to make for the hospital. He
felt it was the right thing to do somehow. He didn't know why. He just had
a hunch that he should get to the hospital. He walked slowly, his hands in
his pockets, head hung low. He felt a strange feeling of despair. He
wished he had company. Benny's dad was strange but at least he would've
someone to talk to! Ray looked around and realized that he was outside
Scarpetta's place. Last time he had been here was when Gardino had been
killed.  'God that was an awful time' Ray remembered how they had been
celebrating his promotion to Detective Grade 1. Benny, Huey, Louis and Ray
had dinner at Scarpetta's place - along with Frank Zuko! Ray shook his
head at the memory of that night. It had been so great to dance with
Irene, but what a way to end the night!  Louis had left his coat in the
Riv and gone back to get it. Benny had seen someone suspicious walking
away from the Riv and realized that something was wrong. He had tried to
stop Louis from opening up the Riv, but he was too late. Someone had tried
to frame Zuko for the explosion that had ripped apart the Riv along with
Louis Gardino!	 Benny felt so bad not being able to stop Louis. But then
he had defended Zuko. Ray didn't think their relationship could ever be
the same after that. All the squad had been shocked at Benny and he felt
ostracized by the whole squad.	Ray walked on, shaking his head. Irene had
been shot and died in hospital. She was the only woman he had really
loved. Zuko's henchmen had beat Benny up real bad that night. Ray thought
he was dead when he found him lying in the corridor. Ray remembered how
Benny had been right all along about Zuko not being involved with the
explosion. It didn't make him feel any better about Zuko but Benny had
been right and he had to accept that.	  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    Nurse Taylor
let herself into the room where Fraser was sleeping. She stood and looked
at him laid on the bed, his arm covering his eyes. He looked so childlike,
so innocent. She could see that he was restless, twisting his head from
side to side. May be he was dreaming. She bent down and touched his arm
carefully, trying not to startle him. "Benton, Benton wake up"	  Fraser
took in a sharp breath and snapped opened his eyes. His face was covered
by a damp sheen of perspiration. He stared at her without recognition in
his eyes.   "Benton? You were dreaming, it's ok, it's just a dream" She
stroked his forehead and found that he was cold to the touch. Slowly, he
released the breath he was holding. His eyes focused on her face. He was
shaking.  "N, nurse" Fraser sat up and swung his legs off the bed,
brushing his face with his hands. He sat with his head down, his shoulders
hunched forward staring at the floor.	"Are you ok? Were you having a bad
dream?" Nurse Taylor knelt down and looked into his face.  "Nightmare"
Fraser uttered as he wiped his face again as if to dust off cobwebs. After
a long moment Fraser finally stood up. "How's Ray?"  "There's no change
Benton, if there had been I would have been up here straight away. Look
Benton, please call me Grace? It is better than 'nurse' all the time"  
"Very well Grace, Thank you kindly." He glanced around the room as if
looking for someone.  "Lets go get some lunch shall we? I'm sure you must
be hungry. When was the last time you ate?"  Grace had on a long dark red
woolen coat and was fastening it as she talked.  "I, I don't remember when
I ate last I'm afraid, but I believe it was sometime early on Monday
morning. I was meeting Ray for lunch when I found out about Ray" Fraser
poured himself some water and took a long drink.  "Wait a minute" Grace
held up a hand. "You just said you were meeting Ray for lunch...You told
me that he was on undercover. I don't understand." Grace had a puzzled
look on her face. "Well, Ray Vecchio was on undercover assignment but he
had a replacement called Stanley Kowalski who was posing as Ray Vecchio
and everyone referred to Stan as Ray" Fraser explained. "Oh I see, ...I
think!" Grace shook her head and laughed "I think I get it Benton. Let's
go! You need to eat" Fraser followed Grace. He was still shaking.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~	Lunch was at a small diner on W34th Street. They talked
about Ray Vecchio, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and Fraser. After a
while Fraser realized that Grace was very tired and she was almost falling
asleep at the table. "I'm sorry Grace, I should be more considerate.
You're almost asleep. How long have you been awake?" "I came on duty at
9pm last night and was supposed to get off at 9 this morning. We're short
staffed, so I did an extra few hours. Besides, you needed some sleep and I
wanted to have lunch with you. Make sure that you were alright, but I must
go home now, I'm back on again at 9pm tonight" She stifled a yawn with her
hand "I'm sorry Benton but I really have to get some sleep. I'll be back
on tonight, you go and run some errands and sort the Consulate out and be
back at the hospital later on. I'll make sure the Vecchio family aren't
around and you can visit with Ray as long as you like" She smiled as she
stood "See you tonight?" "Yes, I'll be waiting for you " Fraser stood also
and walked her to the door. "Have you far to go, I can walk you if you
like?" "That's kind of you Benton but it's not far. See you later" With
that she walked away. Fraser stood watching her. As she disappeared around
the corner he realized that she was right and that he should go and sort
some things out. He realized that he should see Insp. Thatcher. He had to
sort his life out but was he ready to see her yet? Fraser turned and
walked away. He wondered who was looking after Dief. The last time he saw
him was at the hospital yesterday. The thought of the hospital made him
feel physically ill. He walked on, not knowing where he was going, and not
caring. His mind wandering aimlessly.    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Ray walked
slowly. He was getting tired. He wondered what would happen when he
finally got to the hospital. It seemed like the right thing to do, go to
the hospital. Maybe someone would be there to help him. All he knew was
that he had an impulse to go there.  Ray wondered what was happening with
the family. 'Ma will be upset. Poor Ma! Hope Benny's looking after her?
Frannie will love being looked after by Benny! Probably have him putting a
ring on her finger by the time I get there!' Ray grinned to himself at the
thought of Benny and Frannie together.	Ray noticed a café up ahead and
decided to see if he could get a cup of coffee. He pushed open the door
and found himself standing in the bar where Benny and he had gone to buy a
rare bottle of whiskey for the Dragon Lady.  He looked around shaking his
head. "Geez. This is too weird!"   He walked to the bar and asked the
bartender for a beer. Ray glanced around at the other customers.
Remembering the fight he got into the last time he was here.  He took a
long drink from the bottle. Ray grimaced at the taste of the beer.
'Strange no taste'  He sat down on a stool to consider his options. What
to do now. Ray remembered when Benny had walked into the squad room
dressed as a woman. Not one person had recognized him. Lt. Welsh had even
'made eyes' at him! Ray laughed at the memory. Fraser had gone undercover
as a female teacher in a convent - as a favor to Ray. One young girl pupil
had taken a shine to Benny well the female Benny and she was very upset
when she found out that Fraser was a man. She thought her teacher was a
cross dresser! Any way, they had got the bad guys and all had worked out
well in the end.  Ray took another swig from the bottle. He sat grinning
to himself. 'Benny did look pretty good dressed as a woman!'   He
remembered their conversation afterwards  'You ready?' Ray asked as the
police were just taking away the criminals.  Benny straightened his serge
jacket as they walked to the Riv 'Yes'	'You know Benny, you weren't a bad
looking woman' Ray smiled at his friend.  'Thank you Ray'   'Of course you
weren't exactly my type you know' Ray grinned wickedly as he glanced at
Fraser out of the corner of his eye  Fraser stopped and stared at Ray, a
look of astonishment on his face 'What exactly is 'your type' Ray?'  Ray
stared off into the distance as if imagining his perfect woman. 'Oh I like
a woman who is kind and honest, with a good sense of humor'  'Wh? I don't
have those qualities?' Fraser was stunned at Ray's comment  'No, no, no
you do!' Ray responded quickly, trying to pacify Fraser, but grinning all
the same  'I just like a woman who is. y' know.. a woman!'  'Ah that's..,
that's picky Ray' Fraser threw his Stetson on the dashboard in disgust and
got in the car. 'Well don't get in a snit!' Ray climbed into the Riv,
smiling to himself, at Fraser's quick reply.  'I'm not' Fraser watched his
friend start the Riv.  Ray grinned even more. 'Well good' He could tell
that Fraser was upset now.   'Fine' Fraser sat to attention in the
passenger seat.   Ray just couldn't resist the temptation to wind Fraser
up. 'So what you doing after work?'  'Nothing with you' Fraser was quick
to answer.  Ray laughed out loud and punched his friend on the arm. 'Your
so sensitive!!'    Ray's smile disappeared slowly as he remembered he
might never see Benny again. His heart ached to see him and talk to him.
What would he do without his best friend? He took another long drink and
rolled the bottle across his brow as if to cool himself off.   "You
finally dumped the Mountie I see"   Ray turned at the sound of a familiar
voice.	"What do you want Pops" Ray glanced at his father and then stared
at the floor that's all he needed! "Glad you got rid of the guy in red
that's all. You can do better than him. Never amount to much"  Carmine
Vecchio leaned on the bar, a bottle in his hand, still wearing the leather
jacket Ray remembered so well.	Ray didn't want to look at his father. He
had had enough of him when he was alive and didn't want anything to do
with him now. "Look Pops the guy in red is my FRIEND. I like him. I like
being with him. We're good together. I need someone like Benny. He takes
an interest in me, in what I'm doing. More than you ever did. Now leave me
alone!" He turned away from his dead father hoping he would go away
sometime soon.	 Carmine stared at his son. He could never make him out.
Wanting to be a cop!   "Your mother would be upset at you talking to me
like that you know? All high and mighty. You're starting to sound like the
Mountie"   Ray flared up, pointing his finger at his father. "Don't talk
to me about my mother! You never did anything to help her. You were always
out drinking or playing pool or gambling away the money. She brought us up
with no help from you"	 Ray, pleased at being able to upset his father,
glared at him. "She loves Benny like a son you know Pops. Ma says Benny's
welcome in our house anytime. And if I am getting like Benny then good at
least he's kind, considerate, polite and a decent human being. Now, you
get away from me!"  Ray stood up and made to leave. Carmine grabbed his
son's arm.  "Now wait a minute Ray. You're in trouble. There are things
going on here that you don't know about. You need help. Where's the
Mountie now when you need him? I can help you if you want some help. After
all we're in the same boat you know dead!"   Ray turned to his father. "No
way, I'm gonna live especially if I have to put up with you all the time.
Look Pops. You hated cops when you were alive. You sure don't like Benny
and you don't even know him. Hell, I don't even know how you feel about
me. I'm a cop! How does that make you feel? You never made your feelings
clear to anyone when you were alive. Why the hell Ma married you, God only
knows! We needed you Pops but you were never there for us. Not one of us.
How do you expect me to feel about you? At least Benny's there when you
need him. When I need him! You only ever thought about yourself. Never us,
your family!"  Ray walked away from his father, an aching deep in his
heart.	"The Mountie only ever brought you trouble. He trashed the house
Ray! You even took a bullet for him!" "Yeah Pops and I shot him!" Ray
threw over his shoulder as he walked away.  Carmine watched his son leave
the bar. There was nothing he could do for him. He was alone now.    
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~	Stan was sat at his desk when the phone rang. "Det
Vecchio, 27th Precinct" Stan answered "Ah yes Vecchio, Inspector Thatcher
here. I wondered if you had seen Constable Fraser today?" "Oh eh, you
don't know yet do you? Fraser's at the hospital with R... with a friend
who was badly injured. I can't really talk at the moment. Would you like
to meet and discuss it?" Stan realized that she was not aware of what had
gone down yesterday. "Yes Thankyou Detective. Will you come here?"
Thatcher's voice had altered. It was tense now. "Yeah I'll be right over.
See you in 20 minutes?" Stan put down the phone and grabbed his coat. "I'm
going to see Fraser's boss Lieutenant. She doesn't know yet. Let's go
Dief." Dief ran after Stan. "Fine Vecchio" Welsh called after Stan. He was
wondering what was happening with Fraser himself.  Stan arrived at the
Consulate and found Insp. Thatcher sitting in her office. "Inspector" Stan
stood at the door waiting to be invited in. "Come in Detective, take a
seat" Thatcher smiled grimly "I see you have the wolf with you." She
stated as Dief settled himself aside Stan's chair. "Well?" she stared hard
at Stan. "Yeah well it's like this" Stan scratched the area immediately
behind his right ear. "Fraser went to the hospital to see, .....to see Ray
Vecchio. He was critically injured on undercover assignment and was flown
here a couple a days ago. Fraser's probably with him." "I see. How is the
detective?" Thatcher knew that Fraser would be upset, Vecchio was his
friend. "Well he's in a coma. He was badly beaten and left for dead. They,
the doctors don't expect him to live" Stan watched the Inspectors reaction
to his words. She was quite nice looking really. A bit authoritative in
her nature but still he thought she could be nice. "Well if you see
Constable Fraser please inform him that I do not need him at the moment
and he may take as much time as he needs. Thank you for coming to see me
and explaining the situation"  Thatcher rose and walked around her desk.
"Please let me know if there is anything I can do for Fraser or the
Vecchio family" Stan walked with her to the door. "If I can do anything
for you please let me know. I'll keep in touch if that's ok?"  "Of course
Vecchio...what should I call you now, with ..." She stared into Stan's
eyes not knowing what to say. "Things are not real clear yet, but you can
call me Stan ugh..if you like?" Stan realized that she may not be up for
it in her position of Inspector. "Thank you Stan, I really appreciate your
help" Thatcher mentally compared Stan to Vecchio, thinking that Stan was
less 'prickly' than Vecchio, nice really, even if he wasn't as smartly
dressed. "Well I'd better get going. I'll give you a call when I've seen
Fraser." Stan walked towards the reception area, Thatcher walking along
side. "I'll see you later?" Stan smiled at her and then walked away.
"Mmm.. Stan?" Thatcher stopped Stan in his tracks. "Yeah?" "I, I just
wanted to say thank you again." "No problem" Stan grinned and walked to
his car.      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Fraser returned to the hospital a little
after 7pm that night. He made straight for the 'on call' room. He used the
phone in the room to call ICU and check on Ray. No change. Fraser sat and
read the newspaper until just after 9.30pm. He just couldn't wait any
longer! He had to see Ray. Grace had not turned up yet so he had to risk
going on down there.  Fraser made his way to ICU. There seemed to be no
one around. He went into the viewing room. He was shocked to see the bed
Ray had been in last night was empty! Fraser stood looking into the room,
his forehead resting on the glass. He knew that Ray must have died
somewhere between his phone call at about 7pm and now! He closed his eyes
and drew in a shaky breath. Fraser was fighting to hold back the tears. 
'Oh God Ray I'm so, so sorry! I should have been here with you!' was all
he could think.  Suddenly the door opened and Grace came in. "Benton!
What's the matter? What's wrong?"  Fraser turned to Grace, tears streaming
down his face. "It's Ray, he's...he's ..Oh Grace Ray's dead!" Fraser
stood, panic on his face and tears streaming down his cheeks. Grace ran to
Fraser and put her arms around him "No Benton, Ray's okay. They moved him
into another room that's all. Come on Benton, please don't cry?"  Fraser
pulled away from Grace, his breath hitching "What?"  "I said they moved
Ray. About 8pm. He's slightly improved and they moved him so his family
can be closer to him. That's all!" Grace smiled a beautiful smile. Fraser
wiped at his eyes "I'm sorry Grace, I...I thought that..the worst had
happened.!" Fraser started to turn a bright shade of red.  Grace just
laughed and touched his cheek. "Come on, let's go and see Ray. His family
are all gone for the night"  Grace opened the door to Ray's room. Fraser
peeped in. He could see Ray laid in the bed, still hooked up to the
various monitors.  He felt a slight push in the middle of his back and
realized that Grace was encouraging him to go in. Fraser stepped in to the
room and walked up to the bed. He felt very nervous.   'Hello Ray, it's me
- Benton Fraser' Ray lay still and quiet.   'I'll just pull up a chair and
then we can talk' He glanced around for a chair. Carrying the chair to the
side of the bed, Fraser sat.  'I hope you're feeling a little better?
You're family have been to see you earlier but I decided that it would be
better if they had their own time with you. I, I came after work'  Fraser
lied - again. His eyes fell on the tape holding Ray's wrists to the
bedsides. Slowly he unfastened one and took Ray's hand in his. It was limp
and unresponsive.  Fraser sat holding Ray's hand, listening to the hiss of
the ventilator. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again not
knowing what to say. Fraser wished Ray would open his eyes and look at
him. Ray had wonderful green eyes, eyes that seemed to be able to see
right into his soul. It was like his soul was divided into two halves. Ray
was one and Fraser the other. He could see things in Fraser that others
couldn't. He always seemed to be able to read him somehow.  Fraser sat and
thought about his life and how it would be without Ray. He remembered how
Ray had behaved after he had been shot. He had never left his side. He
remembered hearing voices as they wheeled him into ER but could not tell
who was speaking. Sometimes he caught sight of Ray. A doctor fired
questions at Ray.  "Caliber?"  Ray answered automatically. "9mm" "Range? "
He remembered his shot hitting Benny. "About 50yds" "Angle?"  He stared at
Benny laid on the gurney, blood everywhere. "I don't know"  "There's no
exit wound, the bullet probably hit something." Ray knew it was bad! "Like
what?"	"We'll need to intubate him, number 8 inter-tracheal tube. Get
ready to bag him" "Estimated blood loss?"  " About 2 units" "Is he a drug
user?"	Ray was appalled at the question. "Negative!" "Time?"  "20 Minutes
down now" "Vitals?"  "EPA, systolic, pulse weak and thready" "You the next
of kin?" Ray started to panic. "Why" "You might want to call someone!" Ray
held Benny's hand "He's okay right? He's ok, he's breathing right?"  
Fraser remembered seeing Victoria leaning over him and Ray's voice as he
slipped down into the pit of darkness. "Benny, I'll be right out here!" 
Fraser opened his eyes. It was still very painful. He remembered how Ray
had stayed with him during his recovery. Trying to make amends. Buying
things, flowers, a television and a even chain saw.   Then one day he
finally broached the subject.  "We should try to put Victoria behind us.
You know like a, 'do over', a fresh start. Right?"  "Right" Fraser stared
out of the window  "That'd be great"  "Yeah" He agreed but inside... 
"Victoria was not your fault. Everybody has a blind side"  "I was going
with her you know" He finally admitted it to Ray  "I know" Fraser could
hear the sadness in Ray's voice.  Fraser realized that he had disappointed
Ray when he had tried to go with her. He had trashed Ray's home and had
almost made the greatest mistake of his life.  Fraser sat with Ray
thinking about all they had been through together. Ray could be awkward,
arrogant, tough, prickly, kind and soft. He got up and walked around the
room, looking at the equipment. Ray looked so small and weak. Fraser
reached out and touched Ray's cheek, it was warm and prickly. Ray wouldn't
be very happy with the hospital gown. It definitely wasn't Armani! Fraser
half smiled to himself. Then remembered what was happening. This was the
first time he had seen him in a long time. He didn't look much different,
older maybe, less hair but still the same Ray. Ray meant more than life
itself to Fraser. He knew that now. No one could replace him, not even
Stan. He had lost everyone he had ever loved. His parents, Victoria,
friends and now.... Ray.   Ray was going to die. It was that simple. He
knew now. Something in Fraser died at that very moment. Something loving,
caring and kind died.  It was the other half of his soul.   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   Fraser had has his back to the door and was staring out of the window
at the softly falling snow. Grace was closing the door behind her when
Fraser spoke.  "Do you really think he'll recover?"  Grace sighed, "I'm
sorry Benton, but I really don't know. It all depends on Ray now and just
how much fight he has in him"  Grace watched Benton watching the snow
deepening outside. He had his arms crossed over his chest. Benton seemed
to be calm and relaxed now. The sobbing man she had helped earlier had
gone. He was different now. Grace wondered what had happened.  She walked
across to Benton and raised her hand to place it on his arm. Benton turned
away and walked back towards the bed. Picking up his pea coat he shrugged
his way into it.  "I'm leaving now"  Grace watched the tall handsome man
putting on his coat and she knew that he had changed and dramatically so.
"When will you be back to see Ray again Benton?"  Fraser stared at Ray for
a long moment. "I'll not be coming back. I'm done here"   He turned and
walked to the door. Turning, Fraser looked at Grace  "Thank you for all
your help" Then suddenly, Fraser was gone, the door closing silently
behind him. Grace stood looking at the door, a sad look on her face, she
was sorry she couldn't have helped him more.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Fraser
walked away from the hospital in the falling snow. It was getting deeper
and that he ought to get back to the Consulate as quickly as he could.
Traffic was starting to slow down due to the weather and Fraser walked
faster. He wanted to get on with his errands now.   In his mind, Ray was
gone already. He had left 2 years ago to go on undercover assignment and
Fraser had never heard anything from his friend. Then Ray had ended up
back here badly injured and it was almost certain that he would not
recover. Fraser had finally realized that he had let Ray 'go' a few months
ago when he and Stan had finally sorted out their differences. Ray wasn't
there with him, so Fraser had put him out of his mind. Now he knew that he
could not go through the pain of watching Ray die. He would remember him,
as he had been when they had been partners. It was for the best.   He
walked up the steps to the Consulate and entered the impressive building.
Opening his office door, he was shocked to see the state of the room. What
had he been doing? Fraser immediately began to clean and tidy up. He hung
up his uniform and began sorting out his life.	  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Ray
marched down the street, his hands in his pockets. He was still smarting
after the conversation with his dead father. He realized just how much he
resented him. Ray thought about his encounter with Benny's dad. He might
be strange but at least he took an interest in his son. And his son's
partner! Ray wondered how Huey was getting on without his partner Louis
Gardino. And how Benny was getting on with his replacement. After seeing
him in the squad room earlier, he thought the guy looked like a
troublemaker. Probably getting Benny into loads of trouble with Welsh. He
wondered how they got on and if they were friends. Secretly he hoped they
were just, just.....not too close. 'Damn' Ray snarled out loud. He
couldn't think how to express it in words. He just hoped they weren't best
friends! He knew he was being stupid but he didn't want anyone to replace
him completely. He could almost hear Benny now. "That's just silly Ray!"
How many times had he said that to Ray? He couldn't count the times, there
were so many. Ray grinned to himself at the thought. He could almost see
Benny sitting in the front seat of the Riv, scolding him for something or
other. Probably for his bad driving!  As Ray walked on he heard a car
approaching. Stopping to look behind him, he was surprised to see Gardino
driving a beat up old Chevy.  "Hey Vecchio, need a lift somewhere?"
Gardino hung out of the driver's window grinning like a fool.  Ray stared
at Gardino, his mouth hung open in shock. "Well shut your mouth Vecchio
and hop in" his grin widened in pleasure at Ray's expression. Ray
swallowed hard and walked to the passenger side of the car and got in.
They both sat for a few seconds looking at each other.	"Sorry to see you
here Vecchio" Gardino gazed at Ray, a sad look on his face.   "Yeah tell
me about it! I don't want to be here but I am here. Now I have to get out
of here, so lets go" Ray turned and stared out of the windshield waiting
for Gardino to move off. "Where you heading?" Gardino slipped the Chevy in
gear and moved off.  "The hospital would be good. Thanks" Ray crossed his
arms over his chest deciding what to say to Gardino. "Look Gardino, I'm
sorry about what happened. The explosion was meant for me not you. If
Benny had been faster..." he didn't finish the sentence, he didn't know
what to say. "Yeah well luck of the draw Vecchio. He tried to stop me but
I was too quick for him. You never know what's around the corner I didn't,
then BANG you're dead" Gardino swerved to avoid another car and stepped on
the gas pedal. "You guys gave me a nice send off. Great flowers and stuff.
Salute over the casket was a nice touch. Listen, no hard feelings Vecchio.
It's not your fault. And tell the Mountie thanks and that it's okay at
least he tried to save me. I see Jack's got a new partner now, he seems
okay, I think. Not as good as me but it takes all sorts to do the job. Say
the Mountie's got a new partner too now hasn't he. What's he like?"   Ray
stared straight ahead "I'm gonna ignore that remark Gardino I'm his
partner no matter what you hear!"  Gardino stared at Ray completely
ignoring the other traffic. "What the hell are you doing here anyway?" 
"Hey Gardino you trying to get me killed!" Ray grabbed at the wheel trying
to avoid a collision with another vehicle.  "Don't worry Vecchio, I'm
dead, don't matter" Gardino grinned that wicked grin of his. "So why are
you here?" "I was on undercover in with the Mob. My cover was blown and
well, they beat me up, almost to a pulp, with a baseball bat. Got serious
head injuries and I'm in a coma"  Ray grimaced and shook his head. It felt
strange talking about him like that.   "Think you'll pull through?"
Gardino glanced at him as he swerved again.   "Definitely! I am gonna
survive so pull over I don't want to die in a road traffic accident with
you!" Ray smacked his hand down on the dashboard to stress the point to
Gardino.  They pulled over to the sidewalk and Ray opened the door. "Look
Vecchio go for it. Don't let them drag you down. And if you do make it say
'Hi' to Jack wish him well for me will you? I never got to say goodbye to
him. He was a good partner"  "Sure Gardino thanks for the lift" Ray leaned
on the roof of the car and smiled at Gardino. "I'd say take care of
yourself but is that really possible for you?" "No need Vecchio I'm dead
remember?" Gardino grinned and pulled away, tires screeching. Ray shook
his head, Gardino never changed!  He looked around and knew that he was at
least a little closer to the hospital. He turned up his collar and started
walking again.	  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After cleaning up, Fraser took his
uniform out to the cleaners, picked up breakfast and some stamps from the
post office. Back at the Consulate he ate breakfast while sorting out the
in-tray on his desk. That done he began to write a letter to Mrs. Vecchio.
After a while, Dief bounded into the office and yelped in happiness at
seeing his master. Fraser leant over to pet him. 'How are you boy?' Dief
grinned at being back with Fraser and then went to lie down in his own
place.	"Hey Buddy, how are you?" Stan walked in and sat in the chair
opposite Fraser.  "Well Stan. And you?"  Fraser gazed at Stan who was
fiddling with paperclips. "Okay, thanks. How's Ray?" Stan glanced at
Fraser who was now licking a stamp and applying it to an envelope. "The
same"  "Oh." Stan stared at Fraser, chewing his lip. "Thought I'd better
bring Dief back. He was getting a little itchy and wanted to be back with
you" Stan held up a long string of paperclips. "Thank you Stan, I
appreciate you looking after him. I hope you didn't feed him any junk
food?" Fraser reached across and removed the paperclip chain from Stan's
hand. Stan shook his head grinning "No Fraser, I behaved!"  Fraser nodded
'Thank you for looking after him. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a number
of things to do and a lot of work to catch up on' Fraser stood up.  Stan
stood also and stared at Fraser. "Sure Buddy, anything you say. You going
to see Ray this evening?"  Fraser walked around his desk towards the door.
"No Stan. Now if you'll excuse me?" He held open the door for Stan, who
walked towards Fraser.	"You want to get some lunch later?"  Stan looked
into Fraser's eyes. They seemed different somehow now, hard and piercing.
'Something's not right here' he thought "Thank you, no" Fraser held his
hand out motioning Stan to go. Stan walked out of the office and turned to
see the door closing behind him.   'Gee, the guy's a mess! What the hell
has happened?' He thought. He almost knocked on the door again and then
thought better of it. Turning Stan decided to go back to the Precinct and
talk to Welsh. He had known Fraser longer he might be able to help him
work things out.    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Welsh had been no help and Stan
decided to speak to Inspector Thatcher again. He called the Consulate
later that day and managed to speak to her directly. "I need help
Inspector. I need to talk to you about Fraser, any chance we can meet up
this evening?" "Yes Stan, I have nothing else planned for this evening.
How about we meet in the restaurant on W34th & 8th about 7pm?" "Great. See
you there" Stan hung up. He looked at his watch 5.15pm, just time to get
home and change before meeting up with Thatcher. Stan walked into Welsh's
office. "I'm seeing Thatcher this evening sir"	"Ah Vecchio, business or
pleasure?" Welsh smiled at Stan. "Sir, I'm meeting her to discuss Fraser
that's all" Stan walked away "I'll put my report in to you in the morning
sir, ok?"  "Sure Vecchio, just see if you can sort this lot out huh?"
Welsh watched as Stan hurried out of the squad room. 'Definitely pleasure
in my book!' he thought.    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    Robert Fraser watched his
son as he sat behind his desk. Benton looked fine! Not what he had
expected at all, well, he didn't really know what he expected to see in
Benton's face. Hurt, anger, or denial? Fraser was busy with paperwork and
it seemed as though there was nothing wrong. Fraser was carrying on as
though nothing had changed. Robert was confused. He thought that Benton
and Vecchio were real friends. Ray was almost the brother that Benton
never had. What was going on in that sharp mind of his son, he wondered? 
Robert cleared his throat to let Benton know he was with him. "Oh hello
Dad" Fraser turned and studied his father.  "Hello son, how are you? I'm
sorry to hear about Ray" Robert was hoping to see some change in Benton's
face but there was none. "I'm well, thank you" Fraser continued with his
work. "Can I help you with anything Dad?" Fraser glanced at his father out
of the corner of his eye. "No Son, just wanted to let you know that I'm
here if you need someone to talk to" "Why would I need someone to talk to?
I'm not lonely." Fraser quickly studied his work. "Just thought you may
want to go over a few things. You know....Ray..." Robert shifted from one
foot to the other. "No thank you Dad. I'm fine, and if you don't mind I do
have a lot of work to catch up on." Fraser's words were quite curt. Robert
knew that Benton was trying to get rid of him.	"You sure everything's
okay Son?"  "Yes Dad" Fraser carried on with his work, hoping that when he
looked up again his father would be gone. Robert frowned and pursed his
lips thinking hard.   Robert stood looking at his son. He knew that he had
only ever seen Benton like this once before and that was when his mother
died. Benton was only 6 when she died but his reaction was very similar.
He had cried when Robert had told him what had happened but gradually he
sank into a strange state of mind, even for someone so young. He didn't
seem to want anyone to get too close to him. He had friends at school but
no one really close. He wasn't close to his father as he was usually away
on RCMP duties. He had lived with his grandmother and seemed happy with
her but still he was almost always alone.   Benton had simply become a
loner. He had grown up in just the same way. All through college, he had
no real friends, just acquaintances and he seemed to prefer the company of
books than people. He worked hard and did well but was usually to be found
alone studying in the library or in his room.	He had joined the RCMP and
was alone again. Benton had been the brunt of many jokes but he had held
his head high and always brought in the criminals - alone.   Only when he
had been moved to Chicago had he started to change. Vecchio and Benton had
become great friends, even after a prickly start. Usually found together,
the rapport between them was good. He was the 'straight man' to Ray's
joking nature. Ray had even tried to educate him in typical Chicago ways,
but he didn't seem to learn them very quickly. Benton had tried to educate
Ray in Canadian ways and did seem to be winning! He had been made part of
the Vecchio family, having dinner, going on picnics and celebrating
holidays as part of the family. Ray's mother really had a soft spot for
Benton as well as his sister Francesca!  Ray had tried to help Benton
recover from Victoria. Even though Ray had shot Benton, there was no ill
feeling between them. Robert actually believed that the episode had
brought them closer together.  Then Vecchio had gone undercover.   Robert
privately believed that Benton had never fully recovered from the episode
with Victoria and when Vecchio had gone undercover he had hidden his
feelings again. Really Benton was struggling with being alone. Although
Stan was now his partner, he wasn't Ray.  At first, Stan and Benton had
just about got on. They had their differences but finally got over them.
Still, the relationship was not the same as with Vecchio.   Robert
realized that Benton had probably tried to put Ray out of his mind. Hoping
that if he didn't think about Ray, he would convince himself that Ray was
still on undercover assignment and coming back sooner or later. Robert
shook his head. Didn't Benton have any idea what he was doing to himself?
He realized how much Benton needed Ray Vecchio and just how much Ray
needed his son. He wished with all his heart that he could tell Benton
about Ray.   When Fraser did look up again his father had gone. Fraser
heaved a sigh of relief and continued with his work.     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thatcher was already seated when Stan arrived. He was surprised to find
that she had changed out of the suit she had been wearing and into
something more casual. "Thank you for coming Inspector" Stan sat down
opposite her and motioned to the waiter. "Would you like a drink?"   "Mmm
yes, thank you Stan, I'll have a glass of medium white wine"  She was
surprised to find that Stan had changed out of his detective's attire and
into a smart suit and tie. He looked even nicer when he was ...dressed up?
 "I'll have a beer" The waiter walked away and Stan launched straight into
it. "I saw Fraser today. He was acting real strange. Quiet and stuff,
withdrawn maybe. I couldn't work him out. It was as though there was
nothing wrong. As though Ray was ok. Have you any experience of him being
this way?" The waiter brought their drinks and Stan took a long drink from
his beer. The waiter left a menu on the table and discreetly walked away. 
"Oh, I'm sorry, I I thought you just wanted a drink, we can have dinner if
you feel like it?"  Stan was slightly embarrassed. He had assumed that
they were having a drink and then home?  "Well I haven't eaten yet, what
about you?" Thatcher looked at Stan, wondering if he would like to have
dinner with her.  "Sure I'd love to have dinner with you. I mean I haven't
eaten yet either." Stan handed her a menu and stuck his face in his to
hide his embarrassment. "The fish looks good Inspector" Stan glanced at
her over the menu.  She leaned forward and placed her hand on his arm.
"Look Stan, if we are going to help Fraser, I think that you could call me
Mar,.Meg don't you?" "Uh ..thanks,.. Meg. I uh, I did feel a bit awkward
calling you Inspector all the time" Stan grinned in relief. "Shall we
order?" Meg glanced at him and down at the menu again. This was going to
be a pleasant evening.	After dinner Stan and Meg sat drinking coffee
continuing discussion about what they could do to help. "It seems to me
that Fraser has got real problems and I've no idea what we can do." Stan
stirred his coffee and stared off into the distance. "His eyes were -
kinda hard like, you know tough, not the usual..." Stan let his words
trail off. He hoped she knew what he meant.  "Yes he does have nice eyes.
I mean, well you know, they are..."  Thatcher also let her words trail
off. She thought about Fraser for a moment remembering their kiss on the
train. Shrugging she finished off her coffee.  "Well Fraser has never been
one to shirk his duties, maybe we should let him come to terms with what
has - is - happening with Ray and maybe working will take his mind off the
situation and help him work his way through it. Let's leave it for a week
or two shall we before we do anything more, maybe that will be all he
needs. Maybe Ray will be...recovering by then."  Stan nodded "Okay, if you
think that's the best thing to do"  Meg nodded as she stifled a yawn. 
"God I'm sorry Meg, I've lost track of time. Can I walk you to your car?" 
Stan looked at his watch it was 12.10am. 'No wonder she was yawning' he
thought. "Thank you no, I only live around the corner." Meg stood and
collected her bag.  "Let me walk you to your door then?" Stan threw the
tip on to the table and helped Meg slip into her coat. "Thank you Stan,
that would be very kind of you" She said smiling at Stan.    
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~	After some time Fraser had completed all of his
outstanding work. He looked at his watch - 2.30am. He should get some
sleep really but he felt like some fresh air. Besides Dief needed a walk.
"Come along Dief, time for a walk"  Dief looked up at his master, he
didn't really want to go out but the man was suffering and Dief thought it
best to go with him, just to keep him company.	Fraser walked around the
block a few times. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. He decided that he
should go help at the homeless shelter. He had spare time on his hands and
they always needed his help. Fraser nodded to himself - he would go now.
Father Behan would be there at this time. Fraser looked at his watch -
3.15am. Well, maybe not at this very moment. But there was still the rear
of the church to sort out. He could do something about that! Fraser
started walking with a purpose. 'May as well get on with the job as stand
here thinking about it' Fraser thought. Dief trailed along behind
wondering what on earth was going on 'Didn't he know what time it was? All
good wolves should be tucked up in bed at this time in the morning'  They
arrived at the church some 20 minutes later. Fraser stood looking at the
state of the rear of the church. It was badly in need of a complete
overhaul and needed repainting. There was much graffiti scrawled over the
walls. The fencing needed repairing and some of the windows needed
re-glazing. He had a few hours to spare and Fraser decided to get started
with the clearing up straight away. 'No time like the present' Fraser
thought. He didn't feel tired at all. Fraser removed his peacoat and
started pulling at the various items that had been dumped there.  Dief
found a cardboard box to lay in and after a while watching his master
start the clean up, knew that there would be no soft bed for him tonight.
Dief put his head on his paws and settled down to sleep.   Fraser worked
all night without realizing it. After a few hours of piling up much of the
debris and pulling down the old wire fencing at the back of the church, he
found that he was hot and thirsty. He glanced at his watch and found it
was 7.35am. He looked up and saw the sun was on its way up. He realized
that he should be getting back to the Consulate and getting ready for
work. Picking up his peacoat he decided that he would call Father Behan
this morning from the office to let him know what he had planned for the
church. "Dief, lets go, I need to get organized for work." Fraser stood
looking down at his friend who opened one eye and whined at him.  "No
Diefenbaker, we cannot call and buy donuts we can have breakfast back at
the office. Now lets go" Reluctantly Dief got up and trotted after his
master. Why they had spent the entire night out in the cold was beyond
him. But he knew that his master was sad and not thinking straight. He
would have to have a talk with him later on today after he had had his
breakfast and some decent sleep.     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Ray wondered what
Fraser was doing at this moment. 'Probably with Ma or sitting at my
bedside. Good to know he's there for me. We've been through a lot together
him and me.'  He dug his hands deeper into his pockets and felt something
in the right hand one. Strange, there had been nothing there before. He
pulled out his hand and in the palm was a pocket watch. It was the pocket
watch Benny had given him for Christmas one year. It had been Benny's
dad's watch. Ray remembered feeling proud that Fraser had seen fit to give
him the watch. He knew it meant a lot to Fraser. Ray smiled as he looked
at the handsome face of the watch. He liked Christmas. He liked they way
everyone behaved more like Benny, polite and caring. He loved all the
decorations and twinkling lights festooned around. He hoped he would be
able to share Christmas with Benny again. Ma would open up the house as
usual and Benny and Dief would move in over the holidays and share his
family. They would have dinner on Christmas Eve and then go on to the
Church for midnight mass. Christmas morning would be the usual chaos of
opening presents and kids everywhere. Benny would take on that shy,
embarrassed Mountie look when Ray gave him his presents, and say 'Thank
you kindly Ray'. And then Benny would look pleased and smug at the same
time when he gave Ray his own special gift. 'Yeah man I just love
Christmas' Ray smiled and felt warm inside thinking of Benny's smiling
face. Ray put the watch back in his pocket and hurried on towards the
hospital and back to Fraser.       To be continued in part 3