I could hardly breath as I ran up the last flight of stairs to the roof. I
could still hear the music drifting up from the ballroom below. I threw my
body against the door to the roof and gasped as the rain and cold night
air pounded my head & bodice. Blindly, I ran on as the tears rolled freely
down my face and only stopped when I reached the small wall at the end of
the roof. How can I face him again? 

The two months we were alone in the woods were the best in my life. Heaven
is going to have a lot of competition I remember thinking. After the plane
crash, it had taken us that long to find our way back to civilization.
Only I hadn't cared if I ever saw another person. 

I know he felt something for me. Although he was a perfect gentleman the
entire time (despite my best efforts), I did catch him glancing in my
direction a few times. The first time I saw him was when I was bathing in
a cool mountain lake. It was a full moon and the day had been so hot. I
knew he was watching from the beginning and had to use all my will power
not to look in his direction. During the day I couldn't get enough of
looking at him. I would watch his muscles tighten and release as I
followed him through the woods. In a way, it was like a hypnotic dance. In
the evenings when we would stop to make camp, I could listen to his voice
for hours as we talked about philosophy, science, poetry.... I must admit
though, the best part was at night when he would wrap me in his arms and
we would brave the coldness of the night together. I had never felt so
safe as I did then. Breathing him in, feeling his body against mine. I
never wanted the sun to come up, but it always did. 

For two months he was my world, and then the day came. We stumbled across
a back road and I knew my heaven had ended. Ben's face was elated as he
talked about seeing Ray, Meg, and Franchesca again. He knew they had given
us up for dead a long time ago and more than anything he wanted to put
their worries to rest. So with a heavy heart, I did my best to keep pace
with him, as my world felt it had ended. 

When we walked into the police station it was overwhelming. Ben had found
a pay phone about an hour earlier and they sent a squad car to pick us up.
When we arrived, everyone in the city of Chicago seemed to be there.
Everyone was hugging Ben and a lot of people were crying. I couldn't help
but feel happy for him as he greeted all his friends. I went over and sat
quietly at my old desk. No one had seemed to notice I was here and with
all the mixed emotions I was feeling, that suited me just fine. After
about a half hour, Lt. Welsh called us both into his office. We told him
what had happened over the last two months as Ray, Inspector Thatcher, and
Franchesca looked on. I mostly let Ben do the talking and only spoke when
he looked at me for confirmation. 

About a week later they had planned a get together to celebrate our
return, but I knew in a way I was only an after thought. I had only seen
ben twice the whole week and was definitely going through withdrawals. 

So there we were, dressed in our best evening attire and I must say, Ben
certainly looked good in his red surge. He was a very popular dance
partner with the ladies. I had managed to put on a pretty good fasade. I
laughed when appropriate, danced when asked and made small talk, but I
couldn't take my eyes off of Ben. Quite a few times I thought I saw him
glance my way. 

As I looked out the window reminiscing of our time together, I overheard a
couple of women talking.  

" can you believe he was stuck out there with only her for company for two
whole months?"	

" I think I would have had to leave her."  

"No, she must have been good for scaring away the bears." 

(Lots of giggles)  

"Your just jealous you don't look that good Lisa."  

I turned around to see Ray approaching the woman and caught the eye of
Ben. I could tell by the look on his face that he had also 'overheard'. I
couldn't stand there a minute longer, so I ran out the room as fast as I
could and here I am. I thought I heard Ben call my name but there is no
way I'm going back into that room. 

As I stared out over the ledge, everything seemed so far away. I guess 14
stories will do that. I knelt down and placed my head on the ledge as the
sobs overtook my body. I could never remember feeling so horribly alone in
my entire life as I did right then, was I just kidding myself? To think
that the best two months of my life was something he had to endure was
more than I could stand. I looked out over the ledge again. The rain had
soaked everything. It would probably be pretty easy to slip yet I shakily
stood up on the edge tilted my head back and closed my eyes, desperately
trying to remember the top of the mountain Ben and i had stood on. I had
let him know a childhood fantasy of mine of always wanting to be able to
fly. Just step off the edge and defy gravity. I had to laugh at myself
when I saw the look on Ben's face. I don't think he knew quite what to
make of me at that minute. There I was throwing caution to the wind -
logic be damned, and poor Ben, he never seemed to know what hit him. I
assume for a loss of anything better to do, he took my hand- firmly- and
escorted me from the edge as he muttered something about saving the
'flying lessons' for another time. I smiled at the memory. 

Just then a hugh wind gust came and I almost lost my footing.  

"Analise!"   

I felt a chill run down my back at the familiarity of the voice and the
emotion behind it. How long had he been standing there? I still couldn't
face him.  

"Go away Ben" I said softly. I started to shiver but I knew it wasn't from
the rain. I wrapped my arms around myself and took a step away from the
voice.	

"Look at me"  

-no response-  

"Look at me"  

slowly, as if against my will my head turned. I drew my breath in as I saw
the look of worry on Ben's face. My stomach twisted into a know as I
realized I had caused him that pain.  

"What do you want Ben?"  

He reached out his hand to me. "Please" his voice was strained " give me
your hand"  

"Don't worry Ben, I'm not planning on taking any flying lessons tonight" I
said as I tried to keep my voice light and smiled. 

The look in Ben's eyes hadn't changed and it was getting harder to keep my
balance as the rain and wind picked up. I closed my eyes as I tried to
figure out what to do and let out a little cry of surprise as I felt two
strong hands wrap around my waist and pull me backwards off the ledge. 

Ben scooped me up in his arms and carried me towards the stairs.  

"Ben, put me down I can walk" I tried to maneuver out of his grasp but he
just held me tighter. He stopped only when we had reached the building
wall and dropped to his knees. His arms held me so tight I could barely
breath as I felt his body pressed into mine.  

Ben had buried his head in my neck, oblivious to the wind and rain.  

"Analise...Analise..." he said my name over and over and I held him tight
as the rain washed over both of us. 

I lifted his head and the look of fear and loneliness I saw was unbearable
as tears fell from his eyes.  

"I am so sorry Ben" i said as i started ro kiss his face and neck " I'm
sorry"	

Ben pulled back and looked deep into my eyes, it felt as if he'd touched
my very soul and i shuddered. 

Ben leaned close to my ear and whispered "don't ever leave me again" 

then he kissed me- the first of many to come. 

**************************************************************************
*********  

my hand shook as i reached for my tea cup. It seemed like yesterday. I
looked around at the expectant faces of four generations... 

"And that's when I knew your great grandpa and I would spend the rest of
our lives together."  

That's a great story Grandma, tell us another one"  

"Maybe later" I heard my granddaughter say " grandma needs her rest now" 

"I wish I would have known great grandpa" a little one said.  

As they scampered out the door, Analise looked out the window at 'their
mountain' and a smile fell across her face as she finally left to join her
lover.