Reckless Disregard  "Reckless Disregard"
 By Viridian5
 11/29/99

 RATING: PG; Fraser/Kowalski. If m/m interaction bothers you, walk on by.
 SPOILERS: "Easy Money," "Odds"
 SUMMARY: Ray and Fraser have it out.
 ARCHIVING/DISTRIBUTION: Serge and Hexwood. If some kind person feels that
this story is appropriate for DSX and/or DIEF and wouldn't mind posting
it, that would be great as well. Anywhere else too, as long as you ask me
first.
 FEEDBACK: to Viridian5@aol.com
 DISCLAIMERS: All things _due South_ belong to Alliance no matter how much
I want Ray K to belong to me. No infringement intended, and I laugh
bitterly at the thought of being able to make a profit on *anything* I do,
thank you very much. Suing me would be a waste of time and wouldn't be
very nice of you. Besides, I'd just kick you in the head.
 NOTES: Partially inspired by a conversation with LaTonya about "Good for
the Soul." Thanks go to her for the read-through too.
 Parts of this come directly from my own sprained ankle experience. I
couldn't believe how it disrupted my life. Aside from the things mentioned
here, so many people started to pretend they didn't see me, as if that
would prevent something similar from happening to them...

 ========================
 "Reckless Disregard"
 By Viridian5
 ========================

 

The crutches made a loud *CLINK thump* noise with each move forward. Ray's
pits were already killing him. //We're only halfway to the car!// "Thank
you ever so much for reminding the doctor over and over about the glass.
Nothing's better than having a doctor picking slivers out of parts of my
body only you and I are ever supposed to see." 

"He knew what you came in for. It was unavoidable." Fraser sounded pissy. 

It was going around, especially since Ray was convinced he'd just seen
passive aggressive vengeance in action. "Yeah, but ya didn't have to be so
helpful." 

"They needed to come out." 

"You could have helped with that later." 

"The hospital provided a sterile environment." 

"Yeah, hooray fer the hospital." 

When they reached the car, Ray realized that he needed to get his keys but
had no hands free. //Man, you screw your ankle, and suddenly you can't use
your hands either.// He leaned the crutches against the door, balanced on
his good foot, and rummaged through his pocket. It shouldn't have been
this difficult. 

"Do you need any help, Ray?" 

"Nah, I'm fine." Ray found his keys and balanced precariously as he
unlocked the door. 

"You can't mean to drive in your condition." 

"I use my right foot to drive. It's the left ankle that's the size of a
volleyball." Ray tossed the keys over the top of the GTO to Fraser. "Get
in." 

After some embarrassing fumbling Ray got his crutches into the back seat
and settled in at the wheel. As much as Ray wanted to get home and clear
the stench of hospital from his nose, he refused to start the car until he
and Fraser had it out. He knew it was coming and figured they'd be safer
if he weren't driving at the time. 

Ray didn't have to wait long. "What you did today was inexcusably
reckless, Ray. You scared the hell out of me." 

//If his face goes any blanker, it'll crack. He's really pissed. Yeah, but
I am too.// "I've gone through glass like it made no nevermind to save you
before. Ya didn't get so upset those times." 

"I only needed help, not saving, and you never had three men train their
guns on you while you were pinned, injured, and unable to move." 

"I had one guy with a gun threaten to kill me while I was pinned under a
motorcycle that time with Quinn. I'm a cop; getting guns pointed at me is
part of the job. Yer just pissed this time because ya didn't snap to for
yer part of our usual strategy." 

"And that would be?" 

"Our usual strategy is me throwing myself at the bad guy as a distraction
to give you time to come up with a plan." 

"That's not what we do!" 

"That's *exactly* what we do." 

"You call that a strategy?" 

"Not really, but that's what we usually do, and this time you weren't
ready with yer end." 

"Nonsense." 

"This isn't the first time I got hurt with this stuff either. I was more
hurt than I let on that time when I dropped through the skylight on Denny
Scarpa's card game." 

"You were injured that time? But later that night we--" 

"--had our first time. Ya think I'd miss that for a little pain?" 

"Ray, I never would have--" 

"No kidding. I figured as much." Ray smiled a little. "I was glad ya left
for work early the next morning, 'cause me getting out of bed after all
that wasn't a pretty sight." //Speaking of pain, I gotta get myself home
and this foot up. The throbbing is gonna kill me.// 

"You should have told me." 

"Now you know." 

"Your actions today were still the height of recklessness." 

Ray took in a deep breath. This wouldn't be easy. "Ya think I like all the
flying broken glass? I wouldn't have to be reckless if you weren't." 

"What?" At least Fraser looked worried and confused as well as angry. 

"How'd ya think I felt when I heard you got into trouble without me, got
yerself in another hostage situation? With you unarmed as usual? Everyone
else is saying, 'wait, wait,' but I knew you were in there telling those
hardcases to surrender. Meaning, goading 'em into doing something stupid.
I had to get in there by any means necessary. This time, I just wasn't as
lucky." //Please let him listen.// 

The look on Fraser's face suggested that he might really be listening
instead of using the time Ray was talking to think about what he'd say
next, as he sometimes did. "I felt that only I would be at risk," Fraser
said. 

"No. No. See, yer not just a you anymore, yer part of an 'us,' a 'we.'
When ya put yer life on the line, I'm right there with ya. Knowing you
were in danger made me angry, crazy, out-of-my- head worried. I love you,
and I would never forgive myself if something happened to you." 

Fraser opened his mouth, then closed it. Finally he said, "It is unfair of
me to reproach you for risking yourself but to expect different standards
from you for me." 

Ray let out a long breath in relief. Fraser had listened, and he'd gotten
through. "Yes." 

"I'm sorry, Ray. I'll do better next time." 

Odds were good Fraser would do pretty much the same thing next time, but
at least he wouldn't be able to claim ignorance of how Ray felt about it.
Maybe he'd be more careful, at least. 

Maybe pigs would fly. 

**********************THE END*********************** 

More Viridian5 stories can be found in The Green Room at
http://members.tripod.com/~drovar/viridian/