Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye	Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye  

  Disclaimer: Benton, Ray, Stan, and everybody else belong to Alliance
Communications. I don't own them- never claimed to either. I'm not making
any money over this, so don't even try to sue me. You'd have to go through
my dad to get any thing and he's a right son-of-a-bitch. Trust me. You're
better off without the cash. Rating: PG- kinda sad...just a warning...
Author's Notes: This is the first thing that I ever posted anywhere. I
like it. Doesn't mean you will. Everything's relative. I was in a mood and
it just came to me. It's rather sad but there's potential there for
positivity and cheesey amounts of hope. Nothing near Susan Proto, however.
Again, it's all about the in-joke, my friends. Thank you's are in order.
Thanks to Kim for telling me that although she didn't like the premise,
that it could be a great story. And for calling me a cow. Thanks to
Tamani, Jess, Mom, and everyone who responded to me from the DSL list.
You've given me the self-confidence to write more. God help us all. Last
note, I momprise: I take all feed back and flames keep me warm- the only
thing I don't accept is American Express. So, tell me what you think at
wolvie_97@hotmail.com. Thank you kindly.   

  ********************** Say goodnight, not good-bye You will never leave
my heart behind Like the path of a star I'll be anywhere you are In the
spark that lies beneath the coals In the secret place inside your soul
Keep my light in your eyes Say goodnight, not goodbye
********************** "It's not his fault." "I know...I know that, Benny.
It's just that I...I can't...I don't know." Ray sighed and lowered his
head , resting it on the window. His green eyes closed and he sighed
again. "It's not your fault either." Ray spun around to face his friend,
suddenly enraged. "How can you say that?! How can you SAY that, huh?!" Ray
advanced on Fraser, waving his arms, all the emotions that he had been
working so hard to push down for so long exploding to the surface. "How is
it not my fault, Fraser? You tell me because I've been trying to figure
this whole thing out for days now and I have yet to figure out has this
can be anything BUT my fault." He stood in front of Benny, breathing hard
through his nose, glaring at his friend. "Ray...There was nothing you
could have done to prevent what happened. Absolutely nothing." Fraser
raised his hand to keep Ray from interrupting. "And to be perfectly honest
Ray, if you would have been there, you might have ended up dead yourself.
And I wouldn't have been able to live with that." He continued to look Ray
in the eye for a few more seconds but let his gaze drop to his booted
feet. He began to speak again, never raising his eyes. "You're the best
friend I have ever had. If anything were to happen to you..." "Oh,
Benny..." Ray laughed, although without much mirth. "You think that what
did happen is any easier to live with? I mean, you..." He was interrupted
by a knock at the door. "Yeah?" "Yeah, Ray? It's me, Ra...I mean, Stan.
You're, uh, mother is askin' for ya. Uh, Franny won't come out of her room
and we need to get to the airport and, uh, she needs your help, so, uh..."
"Be right there. I'm, uh, on the phone right now. Tell Ma I'll be right
there." Ray turned to look at his friend. "Look, Benny, right now nothing
you can say or do will convince me that I couldn't have changed things. If
I would have stayed in Chicago, if I wouldn't have left, this might not
have happened." "Ray, I think you're wrong." Fraser moved away from the
wall and towards his friend. "If this was meant to be, it would have
happened sooner or later, no matter what you did or did not do. And I, for
one, cannot allow you to wallow in guilt and self loathing. You can't
place blame for this Ray. You just can't. All you can do is accept that
what happened is over and done with and that you have to move on with your
life." Ray smiled and turned away, picking up his coat from the bed. He
picked his travel bag up off the floor and headed for the door. He paused
before he reached it and turned back around. "Is it cold up there right
now? In Canada, I mean." Fraser mirrored his smile. "Do you want the long
answer or the short one?" "Ah, Benny, what I wouldn't give to hear you go
on and on about Canadian weather systems for hours but..." The smile was
gone from his face and his eyes shone as tears threatened to spill. He
looked down at his shoes, then back at his friend. "We have to get to the
airport so that we don't miss your..." He choked on the word and paused
before beginning again. "Your funeral. It's funny, ya know. Those idiots
in charge of the Mounties want nothin' to do with you for years and now
that you're a hero in the States, all they want is to bring you back." Ray
had nothing left to say and he couldn't bring himself to say good-bye.
That would be too painful, too hard. And he didn't think that he was
strong enough to do it. So with nothing else to add, he reached for the
door handle to leave, when Benny spoke. "I'll keep in touch Ray." He
paused, not knowing what to do or say. What kind of response did you give
a ghost anyway? "You understand that I will keep in touch.." He continued.
Ray almost broke down right then and there, but held his composure. Not
turning around, he filled in the next line. "As a friend?" "Yeah Ray. As a
friend." And then there was nothing. The presence that had been in the
room with him for the past hour or so was gone, leaving only an empty
space behind it. The deep sadness that had been fighting to overtake him
earlier in the day was threatening to return but Ray fought it back.
Fraser always kept his word. Ray would hear from his friend again. And it
was that rock solid faith in the mountie that made him turn around one
more time before he left the room. "Goodnight Benny. I'll be seein' ya."
******************** Don't you fear when you dream Waking up is never what
it seems Like a jewel buried deep Like a promise meant to keep You are
everything you want to be So just let your heart reach out to me I'll be
right by your side Say goodnight not good-bye You are everything you want
to be So just let your heart reach out to me Keep my light in your eyes
Say goodnight, not good-bye **********************    Return to Assorted
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