The Waterfall    The Waterfall by TmTrx

 Author's disclaimer: standard song and dance applies.

 Author's notes: This is not a Benny/Ray slash story. It is a Benny/Ray
meet Jim/Blair-in love story. Benny doesn't get to fall in love right now,
because he's still reeling from Victoria's visit. That'll come in future
stories, I promise. 
If the title didn't give it away, this story directly follows "North." 

  

 <PRE>
 Please send feedback to: tmtrx@earthlink.net 

 Northwest Territories, Canada -- 3 years ago 

 Ray Vecchio stared, horrified, at the sight before his eyes. He couldn't
believe their luck. After everything they'd gone through, now they had to
deal with a waterfall! He turned around and grabbed Fraser's arms. "What's
the safest way to go down a waterfall, Benny?" He shouted to be heard over
the roar that was steadily becoming louder. 

 He was stunned to see his best friend's blank gaze staring back at him,
and he realized Benny wasn't going to be able to pull their fat out of the
fire this time. Whether it was because his brain was still a little
scrambled, or because he just didn't know, it was obvious the mountie
wasn't going to have an answer for him. 

 Ray turned to look over his shoulder, muttering to himself, "Great. Just
great. Probably the only time in our lives Benny'll ever be clueless, and
I won't even be able to tease him about it, 'cause we're not gonna survive
this." He heard a whimper at his feet, and realized he'd forgotten about
Diefenbaker. "Shit, Dief. I hope you can swim, because we're goin' over."
The wolf was standing on the raft at Fraser's feet, looking decidedly
unhappy at this new turn of events. 

 The sound of the rushing water continued to grow louder, and the raft
jostled hard against a jumble of rocks, almost pitching them all
overboard. Dief chose that moment to jump ship. He barked once, in
farewell, Ray grimly thought, and jumped into the river, swimming gamely
for the shore. Ray watched his losing battle for only a few seconds,
before turning to Benny and making his decision. "Okay, Benny. Sit down."
He pushed the unresisting mountie into a sitting position on the raft, and
sat down behind him, wrapping his arms around his friend's shoulders and
grabbing his own wrists. He didn't know why Benny was all of a sudden so
silent and still, but he hoped he would have a chance to find out later.
As they got closer to the edge, he tightened his hold, until he was
hugging Benny close against him. He watched in silent horror as he caught
a glimpse of the wolf going over the edge as the water swept them closer
to the point where it disappeared into empty air. He said a quick prayer
for Dief, and hung on tight to Benny. Just as the raft began to tip, he
whispered in Benny's ear, "Everything's going to be fine, Benny. I've got
you." He didn't have time to worry about the returned silence because then
they were falling towards the angry white froth churning so far below
them.	* *  

 Jim Ellison, Sentinel of the Great City of Cascade floated peacefully on
his back staring up at the cloudless blue sky. He let his mind drift along
with the slight current under him, content to let it move him wherever it
may. The river spot he and his lover, Blair Sandburg, had found was
idyllic, if a little chilly. Or polar bear-warm, as his better half so
eloquently put it. "So cold, not even polar bears would swim in it!" 

 Blair was out in the woods somewhere close by. If he concentrated hard
enough, Jim knew he could find him in a heartbeat, but they had been
camping here for a few days, and he was fairly confident that they had
scared away all the dangerous wildlife in the immediate area. Blair didn't
enjoy being monitored all the time, so he turned his attention back to
speculating on the color blue. He was trying to decide if Blair's eyes
were a more crystalline blue than the patch of sky directly overhead, or
if maybe it was more the color of Mime's feline blues, when he heard a
startled yell from the direction of the huge waterfall upriver. All
thoughts of the kitten's eyes flew out of his head as Jim flipped over and
started swimming towards shore. 

 "Blair?" He stopped to yell, and kept swimming. There was no immediate
response. He began to stroke in earnest until he reached the shore and
started running when his feet hit the sand. "Sandburg!" This time he heard
something yelled back, but not what he'd been hoping for. 

 "Shit! Oh god oh god oh god! Hey, buddy, come here. Let go of him for a
second, I gotta see it to help him." Blair's tense mutterings rang in his
ears as Jim continued to run towards the sound of his voice. He was no
longer running in panic, but it sounded like someone was badly hurt. Thank
god the camp was on his way, was all he let himself think, as he swung
through, and quickly grabbed a first aid kit out of the tent as he ran
through camp. He also grabbed the extra sleeping bag. 

 Two minutes later, he broke out of the forest and ran straight for the
three men huddled on the sand.	 * *  

 Blair thought he was going to have a coronary; there was so much blood on
the guy he'd just pulled from the river. Everyone was always talking about
head wounds and how much they bled, but you never really thought about it
until you had to hold a gash together yourself. He felt himself starting
to hyperventilate again, and firmly told himself to get with it; this guy
needed him right now. And the other guy didn't look so good, either. Blair
glanced up, wondering if he was ready to talk yet. 

 When Blair first heard the yell, he'd thought it was Jim, and had jumped
up from his writing to run down to Jim's preferred spot to see what was
wrong. But, then he'd realized it came from the section of the river near
him. Turning back around to face the river, he'd immediately caught sight
of two men bobbing in the water. And, it looked like they were tied
together somehow, because they weren't floating apart. He ran to the edge
of the river, and started to wade in, when he realized that the strangers
were slowly drifting closer to his side of the riverbank. One of the men
was awake, and trying to steer them to safety. But, it wasn't working, so
Blair looked around frantically for something to extend his reach, and
naturally, all he could find was the proverbial tree branch. He didn't
spare a thought for the clich, just grabbed it and desperately threw it
out, hoping it would be long enough for the conscious man to reach. They
missed the first time, but Blair followed as the current swept the men
further downstream, and managed to find a calm little pool that fed into
the river, and that's where he snagged the bedraggled and injured men. 

 As he pulled them in, the grad student realized that they weren't tied
together, but that the unconscious man had his arms locked tight around
his conscious friend, who sported a matching head wound. He must have an
amazing grip, Blair mused briefly, before helping the stumbling man to
shore. Together, they dragged the other man out of the water, and
immediately the stranger began administering CPR. He wouldn't let Blair
touch him to examine the other man's wound, but the anthropologist could
see how bad it was. He must have hit his head on a rock, before he passed
out. All of a sudden, the stranger was coughing and gasping weakly,
"Benny." And lo and behold, the stranger had a voice! 

 "Yes, Ray. I'm here." Benny spoke to the man lying beside him, resting
his hand lightly on Ray's shoulder. 

 "Benny, you okay?" 

 "Yes, Ray. I'm just fine. Thanks to you." He smiled a quiet smile, happy
to be alive. Then he frowned, noticing his friend's injury, "Ray, you're
bleeding!" He stared at the blood running down Ray's face, and sat down
heavily on the ground beside him. 

 Ray reached up to feel before his friend could stop him, "Well, so are
you Benny!" He reached up to touch the spot where Fraser's bandage had
been. "Hey, d'you think I'll go blind this time?" He chuckled a little,
and then started to cough. Benny and Blair held him on his side, while he
coughed up some more of the Canadian river water. When Ray had himself
under control again, he sat up a little, then thought better of it when
his head began to swim. He lay back down and looking up, noticed Blair for
the first time. "Hey, who are you? You got any band-aids, kid?" 

 Blair, irritated with being called "kid" yet again, settled back on his
haunches, and opened his mouth to respond. 

 "Blair!" He looked up in relief, as an anxious, wet... and naked... Jim
ran up to them, and stopped, panting a little from the sudden exertion.
Blair drank in the sight, oblivious to everything but the muscled body of
his lover. A wave of arousal swept over him and he met Jim's eyes, letting
his appreciation, and a promise to nail him to the air mattress later that
night show in his hot blue eyes. Then he shook himself, and turning back
to the strangers, said, "My name's Blair Sandburg, and this is my partner,
Jim Ellison." 

 "Hey thanks for draggin' us outta that river, Blair. I'm Ray Vecchio," he
gestured at the man next to him, "and this is Constable Benton Fraser." 

 "I have a blanket in my backpack over there. Could you get it, Jim?"
Under his breath, he muttered, "And put some clothes on, babe. Have some
decency, man!" 

 Jim turned away, chuckling, not the slightest bit embarrassed about
showing up nude. Years of communal showers had stripped him of practically
all modesty. But, Blair was delightfully sensitive. Jim set up the first
aid kit beside the injured men and spread the sleeping bag and blanket
over them. He hadn't thought to grab a pair of shorts on his frantic dash
through camp, so Blair was just going to have to suffer. He chuckled
evilly to himself a little bit, while pulling out the gauze and
antiseptic. Then he got down to business, surreptitiously pulling a corner
of the blanket over himself, and began his examination of the two men. 

 "Are either one of you having any vision problems, headaches, that sort
of thing?" He ran through the standard concussion check on both of them.
Other than the bleeding, Ray seemed to be fine, if a little shaky from the
fall. He sat quietly wrapped in the sleeping bag next to his friend,
watching as Blair rebandaged Benny's cut. 

 "This is the second time Benny's hurt his head on this trip," he informed
Jim quietly. Jim's eyebrows rose at that, and knelt in front of the other
man, shining the flashlight in his eyes. There was no dilation at all. 

 "Shit," was the soft exhalation from his partner beside him. 

 "How long has your vision been gone, Constable Fraser?" 

 "What!" Ray was out of his bag and in front of his friend in a flash.
"Why didn't you say anything!" 

 "Well, Ray, as I'm familiar with the effects from before, I am perfectly
capable of going without my sight right now." He turned his head in Ray's
direction, "And, you needed medical attention more than me, Ray. A head
wound is not something to play around with," he added gravely. 

 Blair was dumbfounded. This guy was actively nuts. He took selflessness
to extremes Blair had never seen before. He looked at Jim and saw that his
partner was having the same trouble. 

 "Well, we know now, Constable Fraser, and we'll take care of you." Jim
found his voice first, and reassured the stoic mountie as much as he
could. "You said this happened before? When, and for how long? And when
did it start this time?" 

 "It has only happened once before. For the last two days I have been
blind due to injuries received in the plane crash. I had only just
regained my sight when we started out on the river, about two hours ago."
Blair was writing in his always-handy notebook as Fraser spoke. "And I was
able to see until after Blair and I pulled Ray from the river. When I sat
down, everything suddenly became dark." 

 "Were you injured in any other way?" Jim spoke, "And, were you hurt, too,
Ray?" 

 "Nah, I was okay. Benny's legs went numb on him though. A little while
after he went blind." 

 Jim was puzzled, he supposed it could have something to do with the head
injury, but something else had to have caused it, and he said so. Fraser
answered that question, because Ray grew strangely quiet then. "I was
injured a few months ago." He stopped and felt his throat clench. He
forced the words past, "A... bullet... lodged in my back, too close to a
vertebrae for them to remove. I believe that is the reason for my legs
going numb. The shock to my body so close to major trauma was too much for
it to handle," he finished quickly, bowing his head, ashamedly thankful
for his sudden blindness. 

 Ray felt like the knowledge of what he'd done was all over his face, so
he kept his head turned away while Benny spoke of the bullet he'd put in
his best friend's back. The amount of pain that Benny had been through
showed in his voice, and it was all he could do to keep the tears he could
feel lurking, in check. Ray wanted so badly to make everything better. To
make his bullet disappear and repair the gaping hole in Benny's tender
heart. He wondered, briefly, if he was feeling this much pain, how much
was Benny feeling? It was times like this that he wished, desperately, to
comfort his friend. But, Benny held himself so apart from everyone else,
even his adopted family, that Ray never felt a comforting touch, like a
hug, would be welcome. As a cop, with enough college under his belt to be
dangerous, he recognized why; abandonment issues were pretty basic stuff,
but knowing didn't make the feeling go away. He wanted Benny to realize
that he really was a member of Ray's family now. Dief had known from day
one that he was welcome. Oh god, Dief! He looked up suddenly, and grabbed
Benny's forearm in a panic. "Benny! Where's Dief?" 

 Ben's head shot up and he tried to jump to his feet, but was hampered by
Ray's hand on his arm and Blair's sudden grip on his other arm. "Ray! No!"
He looked around frantically, now cursing his blindness and trying to hear
all around him, fighting the restraining hands holding him. "Let me go!
No! Diefenbaker!" Fraser finally bellowed, straining to hear the
responding bark. Nothing. He felt himself begin to lose control, and
desperately channeled it into calling for his dear friend, mortified at
his own behavior but frantic to have Dief back. "Diefenbaker! Dief!
Diefenbaker!" He continued to yell, straining his voice, but only pausing
every ten seconds to listen. Then he heard it. A very distant bark. He
turned his head to face his wolf, and yelled again. "Diefenbaker! We're
here, Dief!" Beside him, Ray slumped in relief. Thank the lord he was
safe. He never again wanted to see that horrifying, devastated look on
Benny's face when he realized that Dief wasn't with them. 

 Jim and Blair looked at each other. Blair couldn't hear anything, but he
watched his partner as Jim concentrated his hearing in the direction that
Fraser was now facing. He broke into a grin as Jim nodded his head.
Interesting. He made a few notes in his notebook. Very interesting. He
looked up as he heard a distinct bark coming from the direction Jim had
been swimming earlier. The dog must have gone over the waterfall before
the two men, for him to be so far downriver. He looked up from his note
taking at Jim's startled gasp. "What's wrong, Jim?" 

 He did a double take. "Shit! Is that a wolf?" 

 Ray answered absentmindedly, as he watched a beautiful, white wolf run
full-tilt into Benny's waiting arms. "Half-wolf, actually. He and Benny
are from around here." He watched Benny hug Dief tightly to him, while the
wolf whined worriedly and licked at Benny's re-bandaged wound, clearly
asking what the hell had happened now. As Benny and Dief greeted and
reassured each other, Ray realized that his friend wasn't so cut off
emotionally as he'd originally thought. From the very beginning of their
friendship, he'd seen this connection between man and wolf and never
understood it. What kind of sane man carries on a conversation with an
animal? But, since then, he'd observed some very strange behavior that he
was sure wasn't normal wolf-behavior, and had found himself talking back
to Dief sometimes. Ray realized he was mumbling to himself, and looked
over at Blair and Jim, who were watching bemusedly. "Hey, you guys got a
campsite around here, somewhere? I think I could sleep for a week I'm so
tired. And, Benny needs to rest, doesn't he?" 

 "Yeah, we've got a site about two minutes from here." Jim pointed back
the way he had come from earlier. He helped Fraser stand as Blair helped
Ray, and they wrapped the two men into the sleeping bag as best they
could, Diefenbaker standing quietly by his friend's side. Together, they
all set off towards Jim and Blair's campsite, Jim guiding Fraser's steps
surreptitiously. 

 To get the two men's minds off the rapidly cooling evening air, Blair
asked Ray what he did for a living. 

 "I'm a detective in Chicago. Benny's a mountie, at the Canadian
consulate." 

 "Cool! Jim's a detective back in Cascade. What's a mountie doing in
Chicago?" 

 "He first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of his father, and
for reasons that don't need going into at this juncture, he has remained,
attached as liaison with the Canadian Consulate." Ray recited, because
Benny was concentrating too hard on not falling. "Are you a detective too,
Blair?" Ray's voice was skeptical. 

 "Nah," Blair laughed good-naturedly. "I'm a grad student in anthropology
at Rainier, observing Jim in the field. I'm doing my dissertation on
closed societies." 

 "So you ride-along with him?" Ray was surprised. He'd heard about
Cascade's crime rate, most detectives had. Blair was obviously tougher
than he initially came across. One of these days he'd learn not to make
snap judgments about people. 

 "Why are you two in the Northwest Territories?" 

 "We're on vacation. A friend of mine spent some time up here a few years
ago, doing research on storytelling and its role in primitive cultures."
Blair stepped around a tree root and continued speaking, grateful for the
change of subject away from his role in his partner's job. "Jim needed to
get away from policework for awhile, and Kevin had always raved about the
wilderness in this area. How big it is and untouched by human hand. So I
looked into it, and we decided to try it. We've been here for a week, and
it's done wonders for us." He smiled privately to himself, thoughts of the
past week's activities warming his insides. "I love it here."	* *  

 "I'm sorry about your father, Benny," Jim spoke softly to Fraser, as he
helped him around a fallen branch. The mountie looked in his direction,
surprised. "Thank you kindly, Detective Ellison." He looked like he would
say more, but stumbled on another branch and would have fallen, if Jim
hadn't grabbed him. Fraser turned his head to Jim and smiled gratefully.
Jim smiled inwardly at the look on his face. He wondered if Blair had
noticed the exchange and looked over at him to see. Yep, sure enough,
Blair was looking at him with sparkling eyes and a small grin. He grinned
back and winked. 

 "Finally, we're here!" Ray exclaimed, unknowingly interrupting the
moment. "I'm starving, Benny, how about you?" He was very hungry all of a
sudden and not in the least bit tired. 

 "Not really Ray. I'm rather tired and I would like to lay down for
awhile, if that's all right, Detective Ellison?" He stood, swaying, as Jim
kept a firm grip so he wouldn't fall. 

 "Call me Jim, and I think that would be a good idea right now Benny," He
turned to Blair. "Could you take care of food, while I get him settled?"
Blair, who had that look on his face again, just nodded and pulled Ray
with him to the campfire. Jim carefully guided Fraser into the provisions
tent they had set up on the opposite end of the clearing from their
sleeping tent. He had put the extra kerosene, tools, and other
miscellaneous camping equipment in the tent so they could keep one to live
out of. Dief followed them in and settled down with his head in a quiet
Fraser's lap. Jim wanted to get him out of his damp clothes and warmed up
as soon as possible, so he quickly removed everything except the spare
mattresses and the other sleeping bag. While Fraser waited for the air
mattress to fill, Jim threw on a pair of jeans and a pair of socks,
gathered some spare clothes from his and Blair's tent and took the food to
his partner, who was building the fire into a healthy burn. 

 "Is Benny asleep yet?" 

 Jim smiled at Ray briefly on his way back through. "Almost. He was
talking to Dief when I came out here." He threw a bundle of clothes at
him. "Here. Go change before you catch a chill on top of that concussion."


 Ray caught them, and turned back to the fire, wrapping the sleeping bag
tighter around himself. "Thanks." There wasn't enough room in that tent
for three grown men, so he'd wait until Jim was out before going in to
change. He caught the look that Blair threw Jim as the other man turned
away to go back to Benny. Hm. Wonder if that's what it looked like? Ray
grinned to himself. Looks like he and Benny had stumbled into someone's
romantic getaway. Although, why they'd come up here to the back end of
nowhere was beyond him. He understood Benny's attachment, but personally,
he'd never been that enchanted with the great outdoors, and really didn't
see the attraction in 'getting away from it all.' 

 "So, Blair, is Cascade really as crime-ridden as we hear in Chicago?"	 *
*  

 Jim grinned to himself as he heard his partner's cheerful reply, and knew
that he and the detective would be involved for a while. Ducking his head,
he entered the tent quietly, hoping that Benny hadn't gone to sleep yet.
He was lying on the tarp next to the mattress, quietly talking, to his
wolf, Jim thought. Then, he caught a glimmer of something out of the
corner of his eye, and all of a sudden wasn't so sure. No, he had to be
talking to the wolf, there's no one else here. "Benny, I brought you some
dry clothes." 

 Fraser looked up and smiled tiredly. "Thank you kindly, Detective
Ellison." 

 "It's Jim, Benny," he repeated. "Blair and I are from a pretty informal
department." He helped the other man to sit up. "Let's get you out of
these wet clothes and into bed, all right?" Fraser wordlessly pulled his
jacket off and reached down to unlace his boots. "I'll do that, why don't
you get your shirt off and put this one on?" Jim wrestled the soaked boots
off and checked his toes for possible frostbite, relieved to find no
signs. He didn't think it would happen, but he had to be sure Benny had no
hidden injuries to complicate his major ones. The other man had a dry
t-shirt and one of Jim's old sweatshirts on, but hadn't started on his
jeans yet. "Do you need help with your jeans, Benny?" 

 "No, thank you kindly, Detec... Jim. I think I can manage." Fraser put
his hands to his waistband and stopped, blushing. 

 "I'll turn around, Benny, but I'm not leaving until you're settled." Jim
turned around and sat, facing the door of the tent, smiling a little at
the mountie's modesty. That's when he realized he'd been running around in
the nude until just recently. No wonder he was uncomfortable. He probably
thought Jim was a nudist. 

 "Det... Jim." Benny's voice had a pleading note to it, so Jim turned
around. His pale face was bright red, and he hadn't been able to get his
wet jeans off of his hips, they seemed to be stuck to his skin. Jim almost
laughed until he saw how miserable Benny was. 

 "Here, hold onto your boxers, while I pull. Got 'em?" He waited for the
nod, and then pulled on the bunched material at his knees. They came down
over his hips slowly but surely, then it was easy to pull them off from
the bottom. Benny lay there exhausted, so Jim toweled his legs dry. Then
he realized he still had wet boxers on. "Benny? We need to get all of you
dry." He elaborated when he just got a puzzled look in return. "Your
boxers are still wet, you need to put on dry ones." 

 Fraser was mortified, but he was so tired. He didn't care about sleeping
in wet boxers or dry boxers he just wanted to sleep. For years and years.
He didn't care about anything anymore. He was just so tired. Dief snuffled
in his ear, but he couldn't bring himself to turn his head towards the
wolf. Detective Ellison. No, Jim, smelled good. Like pine and clean water,
and sweat. Like home. A thump-thump, thump-thump distracted him from his
musings and he turned his head slightly towards the sound. Ah, Dief. Warm
and furry and comforting, right by his side. Dief was always right there,
protecting, encouraging, annoying, right where Fraser needed him. 

 Jim watched as Benny blushed yet again, then seemed to forget Jim was
there and begin to drift, turning his head slightly towards the supine
wolf. He made a decision and quickly stripped him of his wet underwear,
replacing it with a pair of his own sleeping shorts, followed by a pair of
sweats and thick socks. Jim pulled the unresisting man into the sleeping
bag and zipped him in, lying on his side facing Dief. He watched the wolf
scoot in closer to his friend, and whine, faintly. He found himself
wanting to stretch out on the other side, protecting this seemingly
fragile man from whatever demons were beating him down. Jim had no idea
why his 'Blessed Protector' alarms were going off all over for Benny, but
they were. He'd have to ask Blair about it later, for now, he'd settle
with putting the man to sleep. He started with Benny's head and neck and
worked his way down, stroking through the sleeping bag. Blair would
recognize the motions as the same petting Jim gave him after one of those
all too frequent cases had left him shaking and crying out in the middle
of the night. During their first months working together, the detective
would descend the stairs to Blair's room and with the same long, firm
strokes banish the bad thoughts away long enough for his partner to sleep
dreamlessly. A brush through the thick dark hair, down the pale neck and
over the shoulder, continuing to the elbow, then back up through the hair.
Then long sweeps down across the broad shoulders. Jim repeated the
soothing motions, until he heard the exhausted man's soft breathing even
out into peaceful sleep. 

 Fraser felt the hands, but was too tired to protest, and after a second,
decided it felt too good anyway. Nothing he'd ever felt had been this
good. Not even his limited sexual experiences included anything like this.
All of a sudden, a tactile memory rushed to the surface of his thoughts,
along with a soft voice, "It was just a nightmare, Benton. Go to sleep,
sweetheart. I'll stay with you all night. Go to sleep. I love you." He let
the cherished memory wash over him and lull his exhausted mind and body
into a peaceful sleep.	 * *  

 Ray and Blair looked up as Jim came to the fire, shrugging into an old
sweatshirt left over from basic training. Funny how those PT clothes never
actually died. Jim hadn't met a former serviceman yet, who didn't have at
least one ragged old grass-stained t-shirt in the back of a dresser
somewhere. He stopped to scoop out some of Blair's stew and then sat down
heavily on the ground beside him. 

 "How's Benny doing?" Ray asked worriedly. He wanted to check for himself,
but didn't want to wake him up. 

 "He's fine. He's sleeping now, and the wolf is watching him." Jim shook
his head. "That's quite a sight, gotta tell you." 

 "Yeah, if I hadn't been living with it for the last two years, I wouldn't
believe it either. It's scary sometimes how much Dief seems to know." 

 "Oh yeah? Like what?" Blair asked, curious. He'd never met a wolf dog
before, but he'd always heard they could be unpredictable. That you really
couldn't trust them. But, Diefenbaker seemed different somehow, not really
like a wolf or a dog. He started to ask more, but was interrupted by Jim. 

 "Can you guys talk about it tomorrow? Ray needs to change. He's been in
those damp clothes too long now. The last thing he needs is to catch
cold." 

 All of a sudden, Ray realized that he was freezing, "Yeah, I think I'll
turn in." He stood up and started to head in the direction of the tent,
then stopped and came back to the fire. Ray held out his hand to the two
men sitting there, "Thank you. Thank you for pulling Benny and me from the
river, Blair. We can't repay you enough." 

 "You're welcome, Ray." "It was our pleasure, Ray," came the quiet
replies. 

 He shook their hands solemnly, then turned back around and walked over to
the tent at the edge of the little clearing, lit in the forest night only
by the light of the fire behind him. Ray quietly unzipped the door and
concentrated on figuring out where Benny was so he didn't accidentally
crawl over him. He saw Dief lift his head and snort a little in welcome,
then lay his head back down on Benny's shoulder. The wolf had insinuated
himself right into his friend's sleeping bag. Ray snorted at that, so much
for roughing it, huh Dief! He looked at the other side of the tent and saw
that Jim had set up a second mattress for him, with a blanket spread out
over it. Hey, a mattress! Much more comfortable than dirt! He quickly
stripped, then wrapped back up again in the sleeping bag and laid down.
Ray thought he was way too excited and pumped on adrenaline to sleep, but
as soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out.   * *  

 Jim stared at the flickering flames of the campfire and drifted, idly
going over the day's events while finishing off his bowl of stew. Sighing
in contentment, he pulled his knees up and tilted his head sideways, to
lean on Blair's warm thigh, wrapping his arms around his bent knees. Blair
rubbed his neck and shoulders lightly, then ran his fingers over the
brush-cut, enjoying the feel of the soft hair. 

 "How is Fraser doing?" 

 Jim sank into the warmth of the hands moving over him and replied
sleepily, "He's exhausted and sort of drifted in and out. I had to finish
dressing him. He knew the wolf was there, but I'm not sure he knew I was.
He needs to be woken up a few times tonight, because of the concussion."
He rubbed his face on the denim-covered thigh. "I'm worried about this
being his second head injury in three days." 

 "Well, tomorrow, we'll let him rest, then the day after that, we'll head
back to Inuvik. It's a three-day walk, but we can get him looked at by a
doctor there. Maybe it's hysterical blindness and he'll be okay tomorrow.
But, if not, we'll take care of him. Don't worry about it too much, love."
Blair pushed gently at Jim's shoulders, and stood up when he moved. "Let's
go to bed. You need your rest if you're going to be getting up every few
hours tonight." Jim reached up for a hand and was heaved to his feet by
his partner. He stood wrapped in Blair's strong arms for a few minutes,
sharing slow warm kisses, enjoying the physical closeness, before turning
away to grab the blanket. Blair banked the fire and then headed into the
tent. He listened to Jim as the Sentinel walked the perimeter of their
campsite and made a last check on the other two men, before coming to
their own tent. Blair finished arranging the blankets and sleeping bag,
then stripped. Shivering, he curled up under the covers. He was lying
there, determinedly thinking warm thoughts, when Jim opened the tent flaps
and crawled in, letting in more of the misty night air. The breeze made
Blair burrow deeper into the warmth. "Everything okay out there, big guy?"
He mumbled tiredly. The more he lay there, the warmer he got, and the
sleepier he got. He squinted as Jim lit a lantern. "What are you looking
for?" 

 "I'm just putting my clothes away," was the calm reply, as if it was
perfectly natural to treat your outdoors nylon tent like the guest bedroom
of your excruciatingly tidy great-aunt Edna. Smiling slightly, he watched
his lover undress and neatly pack away the jeans and flannel shirt,
putting his dirty socks into the laundry bag. It was moments like this,
when Blair was reminded, yet again, that some of those really old,
worn-out gay stereotypes had to come from somewhere. "You about done,
sweetheart?" He yawned mightily and opened the warm double sleeping bag
invitingly. 

 Jim flicked off the lantern and crawled, smiling, into his lover's open
arms, "Mmm. This is nice, Blair." He snuggled down into the blankets and
wrapped himself around his lover, holding him tight against the northern
forest chill. Jim lay there quietly, listening to the younger man's
rhythmic breathing when he felt a hand move on his thigh. It stroked once,
twice, then again, a firm touch, as anything lighter might have been
ticklish. Blair bent his leg and ran his foot down Jim's shin, holding him
close against his back with a hand gripping the back of the other man's
neck. Jim didn't try to resist the grip that Blair had on him, but turned
his head so that he was resting his cheek on the back of Blair's head. He
waited quietly, enjoying the petting, and wondered how far his lover would
go tonight. 

 He couldn't do much in this position, so Blair released Jim briefly, and
turned over so they were chest to chest. He scooted up a little in their
nest, allowing Jim to take his favorite position - his ear resting over
Blair's heart. He brought his foot up again, and slowly brushed it over
the back of Jim's calves, while rubbing the strong back with his hands.
Blair kneaded the firm flesh, murmuring loving nonsense, knowing the sound
of his voice would help prevent his lover from becoming lost too far into
the sensations of Blair's strong hands and feet on his body. 

 They had learned soon after adding a sexual side to their relationship
that Jim could very easily become a slave to his own body. Often enough to
frighten, his senses would get away from him, and he became lost. In the
field, Blair was always able to bring his partner back from an almost or
full zone-out, but bringing intense pleasure into the equation had proved
to be disastrous on occasion. Jim was still so happy and relieved and
excited over their new relationship that he had trouble denying himself
the full sensual experience that his enhanced senses granted him. He would
become lost in the sensations. 

 Blair, at first, was ecstatic that Jim was letting himself out of his
shell, and he didn't seriously try to prevent the occasional short
zone-out. Until the night his Sentinel lover deliberately put himself in a
zone while Blair was inside him, and had been torn. After that night, the
two men had started from scratch, with Blair taking the lead in their
lovemaking. 

 A soft snore brought him out of his musings and he looked down to see his
Sentinel sleeping peacefully, lulled by the light massage and familiar
heartbeat of his beloved Guide. 

 "Goodnight James. I love you," Blair whispered as he settled into sleep. 
 * *  

 Ray's eyes flew open, instantly awake. The noise that woke him came
again, and he turned his head to look towards the other side of the tent.
Benny. He was twisted up in the sleeping bag, tossing his head restlessly.
Dief whined quietly at Ray, confused. It looked like Benny was having a
nightmare. Ray had just gotten untangled from his own bag, when Fraser let
out a terrified cry, "NO!" 

 Vecchio was by his side in a flash. "Benny! Benny, wake up, buddy." He
shook the trembling body lightly. But, Fraser was trapped in his nightmare
and didn't respond. Ray shook the shaking man again, "Benny? Come on,
Benny. Wake up. It's just a dream, Benny. It can't hurt you. Wake up
Benny." He was just starting to panic a little when Fraser's eyes opened. 

 "ray?" 

 He heaved a sigh of relief. "Yeah. I'm here, Benny. You okay?" Before his
friend could respond, someone unzipping the tent interrupted them. A voice
preceded the big shape into the tent. 

 "Vecchio? Benny? What's wrong? I heard a scream." Jim crouched on the
other side of Fraser, touching his face in concern. He felt the wetness
but understood that it would embarrass the other man if he mentioned the
tears. 

 Ray glared across the dark tent at the man stroking Benny's face. He
wanted to yank the other man's hand away from his friend. How dare he
touch Benny like that! How dare he call him 'Benny.' Ray hadn't realized
how proprietary he felt about that old nickname he'd given the his friend.
But, that's how he felt. It was his job to take care of his family. Benny
had been adopted into the Vecchio family and he was very protective of
them all. He opened his mouth to tell Ellison off, when he glanced down at
Benny and the words stuck in his throat. 

 Fraser had his eyes closed and looked for all the world like he was
enjoying Ellison's caress. His body was starting to relax, and he looked
calmer than Ray had seen in many weeks. Seeing this, he didn't have the
heart to berate the man for making his friend so comfortable. So, sighing
quietly, he rubbed Benny's arm and whispered, "Benny? Do you want to talk
about it?" Knowing full well the reticent mountie would not want to talk
about his nightmare, he wasn't expecting an answer so he just sat quietly
with his friend. Diefenbaker rested his head on Fraser's shoulder so they
were cheek to cheek. 

 Jim turned his head as Blair poked his head in the tent. "Hey, how's he
doing?" 

 "He's okay. Just a scare." 

 The Sentinel returned his attention back to the injured man. Blair
watched as he gently caressed the other man's face, wiping more of the
fear and pain away with each stroke. On hands and knees he crawled over to
his lover's side, and curled up, winding a possessive arm around his
middle. 

 "She shot Diefenbaker." Fraser's eyes opened, staring blindly into the
darkness. He was tense again, as images from the nightmare suddenly
replayed themselves in his head. "Ray, she shot Dief!" 

 Patting his chest lightly, Ray answered sadly, "Yeah, Benny. She did.
But, he's okay now. See? He's right here beside you." He tucked the
sleeping bag tighter around his friend, ignoring the other two men for the
moment. "Is that what you were dreaming about, Benny?" 

 "You died too, Ray." The sightless blue eyes closed again. "She blew up
the Riv... I saw you trying to get out ... and then she blew it up... i
wanted to die too ... why didn't you kill me? it hurts..." Benny's voice
cracked unexpectedly, and he cleared his throat roughly, before turning on
his side, burying his face in the wolf's thick coat. Fraser's body shook
as he tried to control the emotions battering his tenuous control. 

 Fraser fervently wished he could open his eyes and see more than this
grey nothing he'd been living in for the last few days. He could feel his
control slipping away no matter how hard he tried to contain the emotions.
While he was in the hospital, it had been a close thing, but he'd managed
to lock away all the anger and fear he felt. He knew that no good would
come from blaming Ray. The detective hadn't meant to shoot him, and he had
honestly thought Victoria was pointing a gun at Fraser. It was an
accident. He'd simply gotten in the way. And, he didn't want to add to
Ray's guilt. His friend blamed himself too much already. But, now he was
having those horribly confusing nightmares again. Old cases mingling with
Victoria and Ray's death, so realistic that he often woke up convinced Ray
had died and that he was alone again. Dying on the train platform was
almost better than reliving it over and over again. 

 He chastised himself for thinking so defeatist. It gets you nowhere,
Benton Fraser. You were actually going to go with Victoria; you deserve
everything that has happened to you. So, just deal with it. He felt the
anger well up from that deep and ugly place inside of him, and almost
choked trying to keep it down. Fraser felt himself gagging uncontrollably,
the effort to contain the tears of anger and humiliation too much for his
injured body to try and deal with. He surrendered himself to the strong
hands around him and released himself to drift away on the waves of
nausea, fear, and rage that sought to drown him.   * *	

 Ray watched, heartbroken, as the strongest man he knew lost his battle
for control and lay, crying quietly, against Dief's soft fur. He laid his
hands on his friend's strong shoulder, joining with Ellison and the kid to
comfort his friend. It was hard to hear Benny reliving the car bomb that
had killed their friend and colleague, Louis Gardino. 

 Nothing the three men tried was calming the suffering man and he didn't
seem to realize they were talking to him, Benny was so caught up in his
twisted memories again. The crying jag suddenly stopped, like a switch had
been thrown, and then Benny was gagging, his body dry-heaving violently in
the attempt to force the nonexistent contents of his stomach out of his
system. 

 "Benny!" Ray tried to move Dief away from Fraser, but his hands had
spasmed and were now clutched in the wolf's fur. 

 "Don't worry about the wolf, Ray. He's fine. Help me get Benny on his
side, so he doesn't suffocate. Blair..." 

 "I'm right here, Jim." 

 "Can you cover his legs with the extra blankets and sleeping bag? We need
to keep him warm, so he doesn't go into shock." He crouched by the sick
man's head, listening carefully to Benny's choking gasps as Ray rubbed the
heaving chest reassuringly. The gagging had stopped, but he still wasn't
breathing properly, so Jim massaged tense shoulders and back muscles,
while Ray continued rubbing his chest, until finally the ragged
exhalations began to calm. He listened to Benny's lungs, one hand on Blair
for control, and tried to determine if there was fluid there. The
detective was relieved to find none. The threat of pneumonia was very
real, with the amount of river water Fraser had ingested recently. 

 Ray pulled the covers up over Fraser's silent form, re-tucking them
warmly. Rain had started to fall and provided a soothing
trip-trip-tripping background to the worried men inside the muggy tent.
"Benny?" He said quietly. There was no response. His best friend was out
cold, exhausted from the strain. Ray looked up at the big detective
sitting across from him, "What happened to him?" He demanded. "I've never
seen him lose control like that! He never gets sick!" The Italian tried to
keep his voice down, but he was furious. He was also afraid for Benny. The
mountie needed a doctor and they were in the middle of nowhere, days away
from proper medical facilities. 

 "That's why this happened, Ray." Blair's voice was subdued as he sat,
huddled against Jim for warmth. "You can't stay in control forever. Our
bodies aren't made to withstand that much strain. Eventually, keeping
everything in becomes physically impossible. That's what happened to
Fraser. Did you notice that he was fine until he started reliving the
nightmare again? He just couldn't keep all his emotions inside anymore.
So, he just... exploded." He yawned hugely behind a hand. "It's actually
kind of related to post-traumatic stress disorder." 

 "Chief..." Jim's voice was quiet, but Blair stopped, and looked
sheepishly at Ray. 

 "Sorry. I get a little carried away sometimes when I'm tired." 

 "When you're tired, Chief?" 

 Blair just grinned sleepily, and seeing Ray was frowning down at his
friend, "Hey. Fraser'll be okay. You'll see. It was just a rough night.
I'll fix oatmeal and raisins in the morning. I bet that'll cheer him up." 

 Ray laughed quietly. Yeah, Benny would get a real kick out of oatmeal for
breakfast. His ma made it for him every time he had to spend the night at
the Vecchio home. He always told a story about growing up in the
Territories over breakfast, which usually resulted in the Vecchio children
playing dog sled for the next week. Thank god Diefenbaker liked kids. 

 Jim watched Blair crawl out of the tent, knowing he should be following
his lover. But, he felt drawn to Benny in a way that he hadn't felt since
he first laid eyes on a young grad student in a white doctor's coat. This
time it wasn't a sexual connection, even though he'd caught Benny looking
at him, and had smelled the musk of pheromones while helping him back to
the campsite. He'd responded instantaneously to Blair upon their first
meeting, but with Benny it wasn't there. Unfortunately, he didn't have any
other explanation. And, Jim had caught his Guide watching him several
times today. But, he didn't feel guilty; he knew this feeling was
platonic, whatever it was. He knew, as soon as he brought it up, the grad
student would tell him all about the theory he had to explain it. He
always had a theory. But, Jim wasn't ready to deal with another disruption
to his nice, comfortable life. Benny was sick and hurt and attracted to
Jim, but that's all it was. No Sentinel stuff was involved at all. Maybe
if he repeated it in his head enough times, he'd start to believe it.
Shaking his head at himself, Jim quietly said goodnight to Vecchio and
crawled out into the cold wet night.   * *  

 Ray wrapped himself up in the sleeping bag, and scooted as close to the
sleeping mountie as he dared without waking him. He watched Benny sleep
for a minute or two, and remembered his ma's parting words at the airport,
"You take good care of my boy, Raimundo. Bring him back well." With his
mother's words ringing in his ears, he leaned over and kissed his best
friend's forehead gently. "Sleep well, caro."	* *  

 Benton Fraser woke up to stifling heat and the truly awful smell of stale
bile. He opened his eyes and found that he was covered in two blankets and
a sleeping bag. Sitting up, he pushed them off and stretched carefully.
Ray was sleeping peacefully beside him and Diefenbaker was nowhere to be
seen. The smell was overwhelming now. It was all he could concentrate on
and he couldn't believe Ray hadn't woken up from it by now. Suddenly
anxious to get out of the small enclosure, he crawled out of the tent and
out into the open air. 

 He stood up straight and stretched his arms upward, throwing his head
back and reaching for the sky. He felt good. The nightmare last night was
just that: a nightmare. And, his sight was back again. His father always
said things look better in the morning, and right now he wanted to believe
that. Fraser was determined not to let Victoria invade his dreams again.
That chapter of his life was closed forever and he never wanted to open it
again. 

 Wrinkling his nose distastefully, he realized he could still smell the
tent. That was strange; he shouldn't have been able to. Looking down, he
checked his clothes, but found no stains. A shout from the campfire drew
his attention away and the lingering scent was forgotten.   * *  

 "Good morning, Jim. Blair." He sat down easily on one of the logs near
the fire and accepted a steaming mug from the younger man, oblivious to
the stares from the two men. He was gratified to discover it contained
tea. "Thank you kindly. May I compliment you on your choice of tea?" 

 "Um. Fraser?" 

 "Yes, Blair?" 

 "When did you get your eyesight back?" 

 "I was able to see clearly this morning when I woke up." Jim finished
stirring his pot and scooped out a bowl of oatmeal. He took it to Fraser
himself, wanting to check him out for himself. It was very likely that
Benny was fooling himself, and was covering up how he really felt. As Jim
handed him the bowl of food, he surreptitiously checked the seated man's
pulse and respiration. He was within normal readings, so Jim stood up with
a sigh. As he turned to go back to Blair, he heard a soft voice. "I'm
fine, Jim. But thank you for checking." Aloud, Fraser said, "My
compliments to the chef. Is there any more?" 

 "I made extra because I wasn't sure how much you and Ray have eaten
recently." 

 "Benny!" Ray's panicked voice interrupted the quiet morning. He stuck his
head out of the tent, ready to yell again, when he saw his friend sitting
safely by the fire, eating his oatmeal. "Benny, you okay?" 

 "Yes, Ray. I'm fine. Come join us. Jim and Blair have made a wonderful
pot of oatmeal for breakfast." 

 "Oatmeal, huh?" Ray grinned. 

 "Yes, Ray. Oatmeal. And tea." 

 "Tea! Doesn't anyone drink coffee anymore?" Ray sat down beside Benny,
wrapping his sleeping bag around him. "Brr. It's cold this morning." He
looked over at Jim. "Please tell me you made coffee too." 

 Blair laughed a little, as Ray accepted his coffee from the other
detective. "Yeah, Jim isn't big on tea either, so I always have coffee
packed when we camp. He makes a mean cup of java." He placed a warm hand
on Jim's back and rubbed lightly while he talked. Blair knew Jim was prone
to backaches when they camped, no matter how thick the air mattress or
sleeping bags. Plus, it was an excuse to touch the bigger man, something
Jim soaked up like a sponge. 

 Jim silently handed over the mug of coffee he'd prepared when he first
heard Ray get up. He silently observed the interaction between the two men
from Chicago, confused. At first, Jim had thought they were lovers, from
the way that Ray worried and fussed over Benny. Now, he wasn't so sure.
Vecchio obviously cared for his friend, but Jim didn't notice the usual
sort of physical closeness he, himself had always enjoyed with his lovers.
Maybe they were too far in the closet. Jim had overheard Vecchio speaking
in Italian to Benny, so if he was Italian, then he was most likely
Catholic. That would fit the closeted relationship theory. Maybe they
weren't together, but keeping the attraction secret from the other? Was
Benny in love with Ray and afraid to say something? Jim watched him
discretely from across the fire, unconsciously leaning into his lover's
light massage. Benny hadn't sneaked a look at his friend once in the whole
conversation, but had been acting normally. Not like a man hiding a big
secret. So Jim looked at Vecchio. But, he didn't seem to be acting
furtively, either. Jim snorted, suddenly disgusted with himself. Just
because he and Blair were hopelessly in love, didn't mean everyone else
was too! Get over yourself, Ellison! 

 He looked up at the sudden halt in conversation, to see the other three
men staring at him. "What?" 

 "You okay, Jim?" Blair grinned at him. "Where have you been? We were just
planning the rest of today. Fraser says there are some cool caves around
here. And, he also has contacts with the local Inuit population. He thinks
he might be able to swing me an interview with one of their Shaman when we
get to Inuvik." 

 "Sounds great, Chief." Jim refilled his coffee cup and stood up, ready to
get a start on the day. "You think you're up to it, Benny?" 

 Fraser didn't dignify the question with a response, just tilted his head
and looked at the detective. 

 Jim stared back; just to see what the other man would do. He saw Benny's
eyes darken suddenly, and grinned inwardly. So, the other man was
attracted to him. Jim wondered if Ray would catch on and interrupt the
intimate moment, but when he looked over, Ray was already headed for the
tent. Blair had noticed, though. Oops. He'd have to explain the first
chance he got. Glancing back to Benny, he saw that he had left too. It was
too late to back up the impromptu experiment with his sense of smell.	*
*  

 "Jim." 

 "Relax, Chief. I was just conducting a little test. Like one of yours." 

 "Jim." 

 "And it's just a harmless little bit of lust. He'll get over it. I'm
certainly not going to start anything, you know I'm devoted to you." 

 "Jim." A little louder this time. 

 "And Ray didn't see it, so he can't be jealous about something he didn't
see, right?" 

 "Jim!" Blair was laughing now, and Jim was starting to get annoyed. This
was not how he expected a lover to react to his flirting. 

 "What, Sandburg?" 

 Blair leaned forward, conspiratorially, and said, "Jim, Ray and Fraser
aren't lovers." 

 "How do you know?" 

 "Because Ray told me so last night, while you were taking care of
Fraser." 

 Jim was confused; Vecchio didn't seem the type to divulge personal
information like that to a total stranger. "Why would he tell you?" 

 "He told me because I asked. He had us figured out fairly quickly and was
curious. Ray's not a bigot, Jim. I guess he just wanted to be straight
with me." He winced playfully, "Pardon the pun. And, you know, talking
around a nighttime campfire can be pretty freeing. We talked about a lot
of stuff. He knows that Benny's gay, by the way. Although, from the story
he told me about how they got here, I think Fraser's probably bisexual.
There was this woman, see..." 

 Jim listened as Blair's voice wove a heartbreaking tale of betrayal and
desperation, as he gathered up stuff for a morning hike to their 'spot.'
He wished now he hadn't pulled that little stunt earlier. Benny didn't
need any more confusion in his life, it sounded like he had enough
already. Blair grabbed up the backpack and led them out. 

 "Ray!" Jim called the detective out and told them where they'd be if Ray
and Benny needed anything. 

 He followed Blair down the path to a secluded spot they had found while
hiking. The bright morning sun shone down, warming their backs as they
walked along. 

 "Blair?" 

 "Hmm?" The younger man was idly watching the tree shadows, enjoying the
peace and quiet. 

 "Have you noticed anything weird about Benny?" 

 "Weird? No." He looked puzzled. Blair glanced back at the telltale
silence behind him and stopped. "What? Oh, you mean the hearing thing?" He
turned back around and continued walking. Jim followed, shaking his head. 

 "I'm not that surprised, actually. Ray told me that Benny grew up out
here. He knows it like the back of his hand. And, did you notice the look
on his face when he got up this morning? The smell from when he was sick
last night should have been almost gone. But, he smelled it from outside
the tent." He stopped speaking to climb over a fallen tree. 

 "So you think he's a Sentinel." 

 "Not necessarily, Jim. Yes, it's very possible. Yes, there is very little
I wouldn't give to test his senses. Yes, he could back up all of the
research I've done with you. But, you know what?" Blair stopped again.
They were at the river now, standing on a little grassy area overlooking
the riverbank. He looked around and sighed happily. "After all is said and
done, it doesn't matter to me if he is or isn't. You are the only person
with heightened senses I care about. I love you." Blair wrapped his arms
around the Sentinel and kissed him, trying to convey all he felt with one
kiss. 

 Jim sighed into Blair's mouth. His heart actually skipped a beat at his
lover's declaration. The words were still so rare and new, he was
literally tingling in response. 

 Blair's tongue captured his attention as it swiped across his palate and
the roof of his mouth, a move that always made Jim's knees weak. This time
was no exception, and the two of them sank to the soft green grass, still
locked in their passionate embrace. Jim tipped his head back slightly and
gasped. 

 "God, Blair! I love the way you taste." 

 Blair laughed delightedly at the Sentinel's enthusiasm. Sex was usually
so serious between them that it felt good to laugh and enjoy the carefree
feeling. 

 Jim couldn't stay away, bending down and bathing his beloved's strong
neck with his tongue, shoving his t-shirt up over his chest, and rooting
into Blair's thick chest hair for one of the beringed nipples. Finding it,
Jim flicked it lightly with the tip of his tongue, teasingly. Blair's
impatient, "Jim!" made him chuckle and he bit it playfully. "Oh yeah.
That's more like it, lover." Following Blair's loud vocal demands, Jim
sucked and played with the entire surface of Blair's chest. He teased his
fingers in the sexy patches of hair, enjoying the ticklish feeling.
Sucking enthusiastically at a hard nipple, he let his hands roam down to
the soft skin of Blair's belly and the hollow of his bellybutton. 

 Jim lifted his head and breathed deeply, taking in the rich scent of
Blair's arousal. Sighing happily, he looked down at his lover, playing
with the soft hair covering his belly absentmindedly. Blair was watching
him affectionately. 

 "What do you want, sweetheart?" 

 Jim ducked down and licked the hard bulge in Blair's button-flys. "I want
this." He licked again and came away with the taste of pre-come on his
eager tongue. "I want it in me; my ass, my mouth, everywhere. Let me have
it?" Jim looked up, a hungry look on his face. 

 Blair thought he just might come from the blatant need in his lover's
voice. He could see himself taking Jim, right here on the grass by the
river, rough and animal-like. There was a time and a place for that kind
of loving, but it wasn't here and and it wasn't now. 

 "When we get back home, Jim, I promise to give you this just how you want
it. We'll make it a date." Blair pulled his hard dick out of his pants and
stroked himself roughly right under Jim's nose, letting him see how turned
on he was. "Right now," he panted harshly, "I want you to suck me, Jim." 

 "Oh, yeah," Jim breathed. This was what he wanted. His mouth watered as
he watched Blair jack himself. Abruptly, he moved Blair's hands away and
swallowed half his length in one smooth move. He felt those hands on his
head as he held his prize in his mouth, enjoying the feel of Blair's thick
cock on his tongue. Jim sucked once, and was rewarded with a gasp. His
eyes crinkled in a smile, and he looked up to see his lover's face. 

 Blair's head was thrown back, a gigantic smile on his handsome face, and
the late morning sun glinted off the auburn highlights in his hair. He was
the most beautiful thing Jim had ever seen. A wave of intense emotion
flowed over him at the sight and he swallowed reflexively. Blair's eyes
flew open and the heat in them seared him as he gazed down at Jim. It was
then Jim realized he had Blair's cock all the way down his throat. When he
swallowed, Blair had felt it. He did it again, and Blair arched his back a
little, displaying his bare chest. 

 Jim couldn't resist, and letting go of his mouthful, went after the
little silver hoop shining on Blair's hairy chest. Blair laughed out loud
and fell back onto the ground, bringing Jim with him. They rolled and
wrestled all over the grass of the riverbank, taking turns loving each
other with hands and mouths, enjoying the heady freedom in making love
outdoors.   * *  

 "Benny?" 

 "Yes, Ray?" 

 When his friend didn't speak further, Fraser opened his eyes and turned
to look at Ray. He was startled to see the sadness in his best friend's
eyes. 

 "Ray, what's wrong?" 

 He sighed once, then said, "I forgive you, Benny." 

 Fraser didn't bother pretending he didn't know what Ray was talking
about. The moment he started to run after Victoria was now one of his most
shameful memories. He had not stopped to consider the result of him
leaving town with her. Ray had mortgaged his family home to pay for
Fraser's bail, and trusted him to do the right thing. No one else would
ever know that he hadn't. Not even Ray's family knew what Fraser had done.
Ma Vecchio kept inviting him to dinner and recently had begun to worry why
she was always turned down. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but just
couldn't face them all after betraying them so thoroughly. 

 "I don't deserve your forgiveness, Ray. I betrayed you and your family.
If they knew what I did..." He trailed off, unable to finish. 

 "Benny, Ma knows." Ray sat quietly, watching Benny. His friend sat on the
bedroll, his body rigid. He watched the fire silently, unseeing, dark
thoughts swirling behind his troubled blue eyes. Finally, he turned to
look at his friend. Ray contained his reaction to the self-hate he saw on
Benny's face. 

 "How could she forgive me when I can never forgive myself? How could she
do that? How, Ray? " Benny shouted the words, desperate for Ray to deny
he'd said those unwanted words of forgiveness. He was shocked that Ray had
told his mother and yet was so desperate to believe him. He missed Ray's
mother. More every week. He wanted to believe. "Why would she forgive me,
Ray?" He whispered, afraid of the answer. 

 "The same reason I forgave you, Benny. She loves you." 

 So that was the reason. It was almost too good to be true, Fraser
thought. She loved him? Maybe, as a son? Maybe. He would go home to
Chicago and ask her. If Ray was with him, he wouldn't back out and he
would ask her. Then he thought about what Ray had said. 

 "You love me, Ray?" 

 Ray cleared his throat a little, "Yeah, Benny. I love you, too." 

 "In what way Ray?" Fraser flicked his eyebrow nervously. 

 "As a brother, Benny, as clich' as it is. I love you like my brother."
Ray grinned as Benny sighed with relief. 

 "Why? You want my permission to pounce Ellison?" 

 Benny looked up startled, then blushed at how well Ray knew him. 

 "No, Ray. Jim is in love with Blair." He didn't bother adding that were
Jim not in love with someone else, he would have gladly 'pounced' the
detective. Fraser had been struggling to control his body's unfortunate
reaction to the man all day. 

 He looked over to see Ray watching him knowingly, but not disapprovingly.
Fraser was about to defend himself further, when he heard a noise from the
woods behind where they were sitting. 

 Turning, he and Ray watched as Jim and Blair walked into the clearing
arm-in-arm, talking quietly about something. The two lovers were
completely caught up in each other, discussing something that made Jim
laugh on occasion. They touched each other with love and affection often.
The love they shared was obvious in every look and move. The moment was
interrupted as they walked into camp. 

 "Hey guys! You want to head for those caves after lunch?" Blair asked as
Jim went to retrieve the cooking pot. 

 Ray answered for them, "Actually, Blair, I think Benny and I are ready to
go home." 

 The End
 </PRE>