Conversation    Conversation by Lucy Britt

 Author's webpage: http://geocities.com/Area51/Shuttle/9832

  

 Disclaimer - Due South and its characters belong to Alliance This story
contains spoilers for Easy Money and is slash BF/RK 

 Conversation by Lucy Britt - (terrible title I know but it was the best I
could come up with) 

 "Did he hurt you?" 

 "I'm all right Ray." 

 "Dammit Fraser, did he or did he not hurt you?" 

 "He threatened me," Fraser gestured helplessly with one hand and then in
case Ray needed something more he added, "with a gun." 

 "Jeez Fraser," Ray rounded on his friend, their faces so close that the
Mountie could feel Ray's hot breath on his face, "I'm gonna kill the guy,
I swear. I'm gonna take out my gun, march into that interview room and
shoot him in the head." 

 "That would be wrong?" 

 "Wrong? You're telling me that would be wrong? The guy could have killed
you and you're telling me I'm wrong for wanting a little payback?" 

 "Well Ray you know nothing actually happened. I'm fine, you're fine,
Quinn's fine, even Turnbull's fine now we've managed to get the
ratatouille stains out of his tunic." 

 "He could have killed you," Ray paused between each word as though
speaking slowly would make Fraser understand the words. 

 "Well that's true but.." 

 "No," Ray held up a finger cutting his friend off mid-sentence, "no buts
Fraser okay, the guy could have killed you. Every day we do this, every
day we put our skinny asses on the line Fraser and for what? So that
criminals can take pot shots at us? I don't buy it Fraser, I'm not going
to subscribe anymore." Ray was breathing hard, his speech taking on a
staccato rhythm, the words breaking away from each other, jumbled together
as they so often were when Ray got upset. 

 "It's our job Ray, we're policemen." 

 "We're cops right, I know that," like a clockwork toy that's wound down
Ray dropped into the chair behind his desk. "I just hate it Frase, hate
seeing you in danger like that." 

 "You came thorough for me Ray," Fraser pulled up a chair and sat so he
could look directly into the troubled blue eyes of his partner. 

 "Yeah I did but what if one day I'm not there?" 

 "It won't happen." 

 "You sound pretty confident." 

 "I know you won't ever let me down Ray, you never have before." 

 Ray was grinning now and Fraser let himself relax a little, the worst of
the storm seemed to be over. "I never have, have I?" 

 "You're a good friend Ray." 

 "Yeah and so are you Frase." 

 "Thank you kindly." 

 "But don't go thinking this is the end of the conversation okay cos I'm
still mad at you." 

 "What on earth for?" 

 "I'll think of something. C'mon let's get something to eat." 

 "Your parents.." 

 "Gone to see a show, Mum doesn't get the chance very often," Ray was
striding ahead and Fraser broke into a jog trot to keep up with him. 

 Something was most definitely wrong. All right Ray exploded on a fairly
regular basis and Fraser was starting to get used to it but today... well
today he seemed more than particularly agitated and Fraser wasn't sure he
knew why. The words logic and Stanley Raymond Kowalski were most certainly
not synonymous and Fraser knew it might take him a little while to find
out what was bothering his friend. 

 "Yo earth to Fraser," Ray was grinning at him and the Mountie realised
they were standing by Ray's car, not the Riv's replacement but the GTO his
parents had brought him. "You wanna get take-out?" 

 "Fine." 

 "You know Frase I don't feel like eating out tonight. It's wearing,
sitting there, feeling like you're on display, all eyes on the cop and the
Mountie. I don't, don't wanna do that.." 

 "Ray," Fraser silently congratulated himself on having caught the cop's
attention first time, "I said fine, take-out sounds good." 

 "Great. Now," Ray continued, climbing into the car, "where we're gonna
eat it? Consulate or apartment?" 

 "Apartment," Fraser said quickly, he didn't want to take Ray to the
consulate, it was hard to concentrate there, would be near impossible to
focus on Ray, to try and work out why he was so edgy. 

 "Great, my apartment it is and that's actually fine," for some reason
Fraser couldn't understand his reply seemed to have made Ray even more
edgy than before, "cos we can relax there y'know, have a beer, kick off
our shoes. So it's great." 

 "Ray," Fraser put his hand on Ray's knee to get his attention and the cop
jumped a mile, the car swerving, other vehicles hooting their horns
irritably. 

 "Fraser," Ray exclaimed angrily, as soon as he had regained control of
the car, "don't ever do that again. Do you have any idea how dangerous
that was?" 

 "All I was endeavouring to do," Fraser replied mildly, "was to point out
that we were about to drive past your favourite Chinese restaurant." 

 Ray glanced back over his shoulder, "shit!" 

 "Ray it's only one restaurant, we could turn round or find another one." 

 "Yeah, look I'm sorry. I'm just a little tense right now. It's not every
day your best friend gets kidnapped and then almost shot by some lunatic."


 "That still bothers you?" 

 "Yeah it still bothers me. You know waiting outside that warehouse I
couldn't help wondering what would happen if you died. I mean what do you
fill a mountie-shaped hole with anyway?" 

 "Another mountie?" Fraser suggested with a faint smile. 

 "That's one solution I suppose," Ray grinned, "only trouble is the only
other mounties round here are the Ice Queen and Turnbull, not much of a
choice." 

 Fraser smiled, accepting the compliment gracefully and he.. well no, Ray
needed to keep his eyes on the road. 

 Eventually they found an acceptable restaurant and Fraser carefully laid
a sheet of newspaper on the back seat. 

 "To prevent stains," he explained when he saw Ray laughing at him. 

 "Sure Fraser, just get in the car." 

 Climbing the stairs to Ray's apartment Fraser could see that the tension
in Ray's shoulders had not eased - there had to be more to it than simple
concern over Fraser's recent abduction. 

 "Okay Fraser," Ray looked up from his plateful of food and narrowed his
eyes, "tell me what happened in that warehouse." 

 "Why? It's over Ray, Kelly is in custody, the jewellery has been
recovered, there's nothing more to be done." 

 "Kelly hurt you," Ray stubbornly returned to his earlier theme, "he would
have killed you Fraser. You know that right? Tell me you know that." 

 "I know it." Fraser's gaze was so intense that Ray shifted uncomfortably,
felt as though the Mountie was staring into his heart, right into his soul
and Ray wasn't sure that he wanted his friend to see what was there." 

 "Okay Fraser, so he threatened you.." 

 "He," Fraser hesitated, "what I say now won't go any further?" 

 "There's nowhere for it to go Fraser, so c'mon tell me what happened." 

 "He wanted Quinn to tell him where the jewellery was, he struck me." 

 "That son of a bitch." 

 "Then he threatened to shoot me in the knee." 

 "Man!" Ray was more than a little upset and Fraser put his plate on the
floor and went to sit next to Ray on the couch. 

 "Ray it's over," how many times would he have to say that before it sank
in, before that fear, the fear of losing Fraser left Ray's eyes. 

 "Yeah well I guess it could have been worse Fraser cos y'know even if you
were a cripple I'd still love you." 

 "Pardon?" 

 "Fraser?" Ray refused to meet the Mountie's eyes, jeez had he actually
said that? "What did you say?" 

 "I said even if you were a cripple I'd still like you." 

 "You said love Ray." 

 "I did? Well friends love each other don't they Frase?" 

 Was that what Ray had meant? Fraser didn't want to believe it. Then he
remembered after the robbery, after Quinn had saved him from falling Ray,
his usual blunt demeanour softened by concern, had asked him twice if he
was all right and he had made that stupid quip about how he'd left his
powdered horn in his other jacket, Ray once again burying his feelings
under stupid jokes, trying hard not to let how he really felt show, doing
everything in his power to make sure the Mountie would never find out how
Ray really felt about him. 

 "Yes Ray," Fraser decided not to push things too far, "friends love each
other." 

 There was no mistaking the wistful edge to Fraser's voice and Ray froze,
perhaps he hadn't been imagining things after all, maybe Fraser really did
like him, maybe Fraser really did... mentally he shook his head, he wasn't
going to go there, not just yet. 

 "So Stella," Ray started to talk as though in the middle of a
conversation, in a way he was, had thought about this so often, never
imagining he would ever say any of it to Fraser. "She was everything I
wanted, in a woman," he added as an afterthought, "I mean I was after her
for years. Even took up dancing cos of her, yeah," a small smile appeared
on Ray's face, "she was it Fraser but you know," the cop sounded
philosophical, not a good sign, "I wasn't enough for her, in the end she
decided she wanted her career more than she wanted me. So what does that
tell you about me, huh?" 

 "Actually it tells me more about her than it does about you."
Imperceptibly Fraser slid his body closer to Ray, the man was clearly
upset and Fraser wanted to comfort him. "What about you?" He asked, "would
you have given up being a cop if Stella had asked you too?" 

 Ray shrugged. "I don't know Fraser. Being a cop's not like any other job.
It defines you, makes you one of the good guys. Okay," Ray saw the look on
Fraser's face, "so I know I'm a good guy but being a cop means everyone
else knows it too." Fraser let his friend ramble on, it was quite
endearing actually, that look of intense concentration on Ray's face as he
fought to remember exactly what it was he was trying to say. "After a
while it becomes part of who you are, part of your... your.." Ray started
to stammer, "what is that Fraser, kinda like your soul.." 

 "Psyche?" Fraser suggested. 

 "Yeah right, cos people look at you differently depending on what you
do," Ray shrugged, "they judge you by your job. I'm not saying it's right,
that's just the way it is." 

 "Ray.." 

 "Naw, don't interrupt me Frase, I'm on a roll here. See even if Stella
had asked me to give up being a cop I don't think I could, it's who I am."


 Slowly Fraser locked his gaze with Ray's and the cop answered his
question the instant he asked it. "Would you.." 

 "In a heartbeat." 

 Seconds seemed to become hours as Ray and Fraser sat, staring into each
other's eyes, their breathing shallow, their heartbeats quickening. 

 "Ray.." 

 "Frase.." 

 In an instant they were on each other, lips bruised they had met so
quickly and Fraser could feel himself reeling. How was it that Ray had
understood him so completely, even more completely than he understood
himself? Fraser had not allowed himself even to hope for a reaction like
this. He had imagined that telling Ray how he felt would involve a long
and rambling exposition, a ,lot of blushing and most probably would be
followed by rejection and a muttered comment of 'freak'. 

 "Ray.." 

 "God Fraser, you wouldn't believe how long I've wanted to kiss you," the
cop said diving back down towards Fraser's lips again, forcing him back
onto the couch. 

 "Ray.." 

 "There'll be plenty of time to talk later Frase," Ray said smiling as he
stood up. "C'mon." 

 Willingly Fraser let his partner take his hand and lead him into the
bedroom. 

 The End 

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