Body     

   

 Samhain #10: Pumpkin Pie  

   

  *FAMILY #10*	 

  *PUMPKIN PIE*   

  *By GILDA LILY*   

 

Pairing: Benny/Ray V. 

Categories: Holiday (Thanksgiving), Series, Drama, Thanksgiving Challenge.


Rating: PG-13. 

Warning: Angst, Dief Lusting After Turkey, Election Night Jitters (Mine,
Not The Boys'). 

This series continues to explore the effects of homophobia on our favorite
couple, and their determination to build their own family traditions as
Ray's biological family rejects them.  

It also marks the first anniversary of this series, as it began with
"FAMILY #1: THANKSGIVING" a year ago. I've decided to continue with the
holiday theme, and if the holiday is a repeat, you'll see a title like the
one you're reading now, and then the holidays that were skipped this time
around will get their own billing. And that means that Halloween is
eligible next year as Samhain was the entry this year! I hope that the
series will still be in its cycle next year, because I do have more ideas.
And, oh, this is an answer to my Thanksgiving Challenge.  

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, Alliance does, more's the pity.  

Comments welcome on or off-list. E-mail: jeanniemarie@sprintmail.com. 

(c) November 7, 2000 

 

  *I*	

  *DESPAIR*   

 

Ray shifted nervously from foot to foot as the sound of the doorbell faded
away. He could feel eyes on him from up and down the street. It felt like
he had a target painted on his back. 

His stomach was too tied up in knots to enjoy the smell of roasting turkey
wafting from the house. He clenched his fists, then forced himself to
unclench them. They were already aching from the deathgrip he'd had on the
wheel of the Riv. 

Footsteps were approaching at a quick pace. His heart leapt in his throat
as he came face-to-face with a member of his family. 

"What are you doing here?" 

His stomach churned but he affected an nonchalant attitude. "It's my
house." 

"Not anymore." Her voice was as cold as ice. 

"C'mon, Frannie, let's not get into it, okay? It's Thanksgiving." 

"Yeah, and we're thankful that you're not..." 

"Who is it, Francesca?" called Rosa from the kitchen. 

Frannie frowned and said curtly, "Wait here." She shut the door and Ray
clenched his left hand, his nervous energy hard to handle but he forced
himself not to pace. Oh, no. The neighborhood was not going to get a show
from him. 

After an eternity, the door opened again. Rosa stood there, her face
neutral. 

"Hi, Ma." 

"Hello, Raymondo." 

"I need to talk to you, Ma." 

"All right." She kept the door open. "I'll get my coat." 

This time Ray did pace a little, the delicious smells from the kitchen
making his mouth water. No one could cook like his ma. 

Rosa came out onto the veranda and shut the door behind her. She took a
seat on the swing and gazed steadily at her son. 

"Ma, it's been a year." 

"Yes, I remember." 

Ray nearly snorted. He bet she did. How could a mother forget kicking her
only son out of the house on Thanksgiving? He stood directly in front of
her. 

"We can't go on like this." 

"I agree." 

Surprised, Ray felt a little encouraged. "How about we make a fresh start
today? It's Thanksgiving, Ma. Perfect time to count our blessings." 

"You're right." 

Feeling a surge of hope, Ray smiled. "So it's okay to join you for
Thanksgiving dinner?" 

"Of course, Raymondo. You are always welcome here. You are my son." 

"Good. I'll go get Benny and Dief and..." 

"I didn't say that he could come." 

Ray felt the hope drain away. He looked at his mother, who was still
sitting on the swing like a placid Madonna. 

"Do you mean that Benny can't come?" 

"Yes." She began to rock gently. "You are welcome here, Raymondo, if you
repent of your sins. Thanksgiving is a perfect day to start that penance.
Are you willing to do that and be welcomed back into the bosom of your
family?" 

Tears prickled Ray's eyes but he answered, "No, Ma." 

"Then there is nothing left for us to say." Rosa stood up from the swing
and began to turn away. 

"Ma!" 

She turned back. 

"How can you do this? How can you turn your back on me just because I love
Benny?" 

"You know why, Raymondo." 

"Why? Because the Church says you should?" 

"It is a sin." 

Ray gestured angrily. "Sin! It's a sin to love someone? To respect another
person and be good to them? To have the other person respect you and want
to make life good for you?" 

"It is if you pretend you have a marriage or whatever it is you
fantasize." 

Ray's throat was closing but he pushed the next words out. "So you mean
that the perfect marriage was the one you had with Pop? When he went down
to Fanelli's and got blind, stinkin' drunk and came home and either
slapped you around or pounded me into a wall? When he'd belittle you and
the girls and me? That was a marriage made in heaven while you just stood
there and took it and let me be beaten to within an inch of my life...?!" 

The slap came so hard and so fast that he saw stars. Rosa turned away and
went into the house, the door slamming behind her. Ray stood there for
several minutes, a frozen statue, then he turned away and went to the Riv,
pausing only a moment while his eyes closed, then yanked the door open and
slid inside, starting the engine and driving away. 

A shadow moved in a front window of the house.* 

 

  *II*	

  *HOPE*   

 

*Benny hummed as he checked on the turkey, the sounds of the Macy's Day
Parade in the background on the TV. The turkey would be ready precisely at
noon. He was rather proud of his cooking skills which had greatly improved
since knowing Ray. Ray was a good cook himself and Benny did not want to
be the one who burned water in this relationship. 

He smiled at Dief, who was sitting at attention and eyeing the roasting
bird through the oven window. 

"You'll get a piece. Probably more than one," Benny said as he stroked
Dief's head. He was feeling generous today. After all, it was a holiday,
even if it was an American one, and Dief was a wolf who would be very
interested in a bird the size of that turkey. 

He felt a little shiver in his stomach. The last time he and Ray and Dief
had enjoyed turkey had been at the Vecchio home on Thanksgiving last year.
The day had turned into a disaster. Ray's cousin Bert Lucchesi had outed
them, and Rosa had ordered them out of the house. Ray's house, to be
technical, but he had gone and the family continued to live there while
Ray sent money every month to help with the bills. 

Ray had affected a cheerful disposition this morning, but Benny knew that
Ray was aware of the significance of the day. They had prepared the meal
but at mid-morning Ray had said that he needed to run an errand and had
left. Benny knew where he had gone. 

He sighed. The pain was still fresh for him as well. The Vecchios had been
his own family after so many years of loneliness, and now he was without
them. But he had Ray, and that was the most important thing. 

Benny admired the kitchen table with its pale yellow tablecloth and good
china and silverware. A bowl of gourds was set in the center, flanked by
gold candlesticks and two pumpkin-scented candles. Napkins with prints of
turkeys on them were set by the plates. The table looked very festive. 

He checked the turkey one last time and he left to go to the homeless
shelter where he would meet Ray. Their neighbor Jim would drop by in a few
minutes and keep an eye on their turkey so that it wouldn't burn, and
besides, Benny would never allow an oven to stay on with no one in the
apartment. He smiled wryly as he knew that Dief would never leave the
cooking bird, and that was another reason he wanted a human watcher. 

He arrived at the homeless shelter and greeted the regular staff,
immediately going to the kitchen and helping prepare the traditional
dinner. He was in the process of dishing out slabs of turkey, mounds of
mashed potatoes and squash, cranberries and yams when Ray showed up. He
nodded at Benny and put on an apron and went to the end of the line to
help Carrie, one of the shelter's founders. 

Benny was kept busy for the next half hour with the serving, then he
finally broke away and joined Carrie and Ray. 

"Ray, we can go now..." His voice trailed off. A shaking finger reached up
and touched the bruised left cheek of his lover. "Ray?" 

Ray looked at him, his eye already showing the effects of a blow. "Cool,
Benny. Let's go." 

"Thanks for your help, guys," Carrie said and Ray gave her one of his
patented Vecchio smiles and headed out, a numb Benny right behind him. 

They climbed wordlessly into the Riv and by the time they had reached the
apartment building, Benny's stomach was nauseous. 

Upstairs Jim grinned at them as they walked in. "Hey, you didn't tell me I
had to fend off a hungry wolf!" 

"Sorry," Benny said distractedly. 

"Aw, the furball won't be any problem. Just nip you a little if you get in
the way," Ray teased. 

"That's what I was afraid of!" 

"Hey, smells great. Benny, you are becoming one hell of a cook." 

"Thank you kindly, Ray," Benny said as he covered his distress in front of
their guest. 

"Well, I'd better get going. Spence is waiting and then we'll be on the
way to his cousin's." 

"Oh, yeah, a family gathering," Ray said. 

Benny escorted Jim to the door, the gay center director unaware of how
fast it actually was because the Mountie was unfailingly polite. Yet Benny
hustled him out as quickly as possible, shutting the door behind his
friend. 

Benny turned and looked at Ray. His lover was wandering aimlessly around
the living room, which was furnished with Ray's elegant taste. They had
finally been able to go shopping and had chosen the pieces for the living
room and bedroom. The furniture was graceful, earth-colored, and
comfortable. Their bed was large and silk sheets covered it. There was a
bookcase in the bedroom overflowing with both their book collections and
Benny's sketches on the walls of the living room. 

It was their home. They were preparing to enjoy a Thanksgiving feast. 

And now Ray was in pain. 

Benny walked into the room, suddenly feeling old, and he watched as Ray
picked up a book on the endtable by the couch and flipped through the
pages, then put it back down. Dief was close by, having abandoned his
vigil by the oven. He was looking up at Ray with sad wolfie eyes. 

Ray sat down heavily on the couch. 

"I went to see her." 

Benny came to the couch and sat down next to Ray, stifling his wince at
the swelling bruise on his beloved's face. 

"I thought that since it was a year since it all went haywire, we could
start again. A do-over, y'know?" Benny nodded, recalling with painful
clarity the last time Ray had used that particular expression. "We talked
all civilized and everything. Then I asked to come to Thanksgiving dinner.
She said fine. I got all excited. Maybe she was willing to make a start. 

Then she said you weren't welcome." Benny's heart contracted but he stayed
silent. "She spouted the usual stuff about us bein' sinners." Suddenly
Ray's voice dropped to a whisper. "I got mad, Benny." Tears formed in his
eyes. "She said bad things and I did, too. Then she hit me." He looked at
his lover with anguish shimmering in emerald pools. "That's the second
time in less than a year that she's hit one of us. She got you last
spring." 

Benny's hand unconsciously went to his left cheek, remembering the sting
of the slap that Rosa had laid upon him last Easter. "I'm sorry, Ray."
That blow had hurt far more than he had let on. Ray had been upset enough.
He hadn't needed to hear that Benny was devastated to have been hit by the
woman he had begun to consider as a mother. 

"I think she hates me," Ray said in a small voice, and Benny immediately
pulled the distraught man into his arms and began to rock him. 

"No, Ray, no," he said, rubbing the shivering back and shaking his head.
"She doesn't hate you." 

"She hates what I am." 

"She's hurt and confused..." 

Ray shook his head. "Don't make excuses for her, Benny." The tears flowed
more freely. "I'm her son, the same person she's always known, and she
hates that I love you. And that's the biggest part of my life now. And
will be forever." 

Benny continued to rock his beloved as Dief laid a mournful face on Ray's
knee. 

The doorbell rang and Benny hesitated. Ray sniffled and said, "Go on,
answer it." 

Benny reluctantly left him and crossed to the door, opening it and gasping
with surprise, "Tony?" 

Benny had not seen Ray's brother-in-law since Thanksgiving of last year.
The other man shifted nervously out in the hall, glancing around every few
seconds. "Can I come in?" 

"What does he want?" Ray asked, wiping his tears away and letting the
anger take over. 

Benny turned at the door, uncertain whether or not to let Tony in. Ray
sighed and made a gesture that indicated that Benny should do so, and
Benny waved Tony in. Ray's brother-in-law walked into the apartment and
glanced around, giving Ray a nervous smile. 

"Nice place." 

"What do you want, Tony? Because if you're gonna rail against my sins, you
can just get the hell out." 

"No, Ray." 

"What?" 

Tony shifted from one foot to the other. He jammed his hands into the
pockets of his jacket. 

"I wanna apologize." 

Ray frowned, looking at Benny, whose surprised expression was clear. 

"I acted like a real jerk a year ago today." 

"You didn't say anything." 

"No, but I shoulda. And I had stuff to say after." Tony shrugged.
"Everyone was really hot under the collar, y'know? And I've listened to
Maria and Frannie and Ma say things about you and Fraser. Not in front of
the kids," he added hastily at the look on the men's faces. "But I really
thought that you shouldn't be around the kids." A red flush creeped up
Tony's neck. "Listen, the kinds of places I work, when guys talk about
guys...like you...it ain't exactly complimentary." Ray snorted but Tony
pressed on. "I went along. In the neighborhood, you're supposed to do
that." Tony shrugged. Understanding showed in Ray's eyes. He certainly
understood the neighborhood. "But the more I heard the women talk, the
more I heard those guys, and the more I thought about you and Fraser...I
dunno, I just couldn't square all that with what I knew of you." Tony
looked up in embarrassment. "I haven't said anything at home. I'm...tryin'
to figure out how." He gave a small grin and Ray couldn't help but match
it with one of his own. The Vecchio women were formidable indeed. "But...I
saw what happened between you and Ma, today, Ray. I...don't think that's
right." He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "So I just wanted
you to know that if you wanna know anything about the family or anything,
just let me know." 

Ray regarded his brother-in-law solemnly, then held out his hand. Tony
took it and they shook hands, then Ray drew Tony into a quick hug.
"Thanks, Tony." 

"No problem." Tony turned to Benny. "Fraser, that goes for you, too." 

"Thank you, Tony." They shook hands as well, then Tony nodded and left. 

After the door had closed behind him, Benny looked at Ray. "Well." 

"Yeah. Well." Ray suddenly grinned. "Who woulda thought that Tony woulda
been the first one to come around?" He shook his head. "What a weird
Thanksgiving." 

Benny smiled. He came over to his lover and put his arms around Ray's
slender waist. "Yes." 

They hugged, then Ray pulled away and said, "Hey, how's that bird cookin'
up?" 

"Just fine. It's almost ready." Benny said a silent thanks to Tony and
followed Ray into the kitchen. 

The meal was served for the two of them. No, three of them. Dief got his
share and was blissfully happy with his turkey meat and Ray exclaimed over
his share of the turkey. 

"Wow, we're pretty good cooks, eh?" 

"Yes." Benny took a bite of whipped potatoes laced with garlic. "These
potatoes and squash are quite good." 

"Mmm." Ray swallowed. "So's the cranberry sauce. And this stuffing isn't
bad, huh?" 

"You have made our traditions quite...delicious...Ray." 

Ray laughed. "Good, Benny." 

When the main course was finished, Ray sat back and patted his lean
stomach. "Whew! I ate too much!" 

"Oh, Ray, you have to have room!" 

"For what?" 

"For this." 

Benny stood up and went over to the bread box and opened it. 

"What is it?" 

Benny presented his surprise with a flourish. 

"Pumpkin pie!" 

"Yes. I hope you like it." 

Benny put it on the table and brought over some plates and cut them two
pieces. Ray picked up his fork and took a bite. 

"Oh!" 

Anxiously Benny asked, "What's the matter? It's not right?" 

"It's perfect, Benny! Oh, man, the cinnamon flavor is just right!" 

Benny refrained from mentioning that he had learned this little trick from
Rosa in happier days. 

The pie was given its culinary due, then they cleaned up the feast and
retired to the living room. The new color TV was set on a handsome oak
stand and Ray turned it on, sitting down on the couch. 

"C'mon, Benny. I know you were watching the Macy's Day Parade when I was
out. Now you get the other part of the tradition." 

"Yes, Ray," Benny said with a smile as he sat next to his lover. 

Eventually Ray stretched out, sleepy from turkey, and laid his head in
Benny's lap while he curled up on his side. Benny stroked the beloved head
while he watched the game and Ray fell asleep. 

Benny thought of how the day had gone. He had known where Ray had gone
that morning. It had been a disaster as the black eye had demonstrated.
And the despair had taken the both of them over, as he missed the
Vecchios, too. He had considered himself part of the family, and to be so
abruptly cut off had hurt. Just as the slap by Rosa had hurt last Easter. 

But a strange yet good thing had happened. When all had seemed lost, hope
had come forth in the unlikely form of Tony Rossetti, conservative and
lazy and even homophobic. But he had realized the unfairness of it all.
Could Ray's mother and sisters be next? 

Benny arranged his body to spoon Ray's and fell asleep as the football
crowd cheered on their heroes on the television.*