Disclaimer: Not my characters because they to belong to Alliance, but I
love to use them in this other loving way. 

Rating : NC/17 

Pairing: Benton Fraser and Ray Kowalski 

Thanks to: My other boys. The Sammy's. 

Notes: Okay, this story is a belated Thanksgiving story. Same rules apply.
Like the story, greatness! Don't like the story? Not so greatness but
that's okay too. Word of warning: None of my stuff is beta-ed just so
you'll know. Should anyone care to post this story elsewhere can do so
with my permission but I'd like to know for "knowing purposes." Y'all,
enjoy.	 

jackson.maria droopy_jack@excite.com  

Happy belated Thanksgiving, Fraser 

Fraser stirred in his seat then jerked up when he realized he was about to
fall off the chair. He sat up and felt the stiffness in his neck. Sitting
up straight he proceeded to rotate his head to release the tension at the
base of his neck. He glanced over at his partner who was still asleep in
the hospital bed. The tubes and wires coming and going to all parts of his
body made him look like some weird scientific experiment. Fraser got up,
smoothed down his red serge, stretched his legs then ambled over to Ray's
bedside. Ray was still asleep. He had been asleep for three days now after
being struck down by a truck while in pursuit of a suspect down the
street. The doctor had been hopeful when Ray was brought in but Fraser now
worried because Ray had not roused since the emergency surgery to remove
his spleen. The Mountie reached over and brushed away the strands of hair
on Ray's forehead. He grimaced when he saw those dark bruises that covered
the entire forehead on the left side of his partner's face. Fraser took a
deep breath and gazed at his slumbering partner then recalled the events
that proceeded the accident. To Fraser it had started with the screeching
of the truck's tires and a loud thud that followed thereafter. He
remembered seeing Ray's body ascend high into the air in slow motion then
time accelerated to almost fast forward as Ray descended fast landing
right smack in the middle of the street with a loud crack. Fraser
remembered his body and heart froze in place for a split-second before
bolting over to his partner's side as soon as he got his legs to move. He
remembered running to Ray feeling as if his legs were stuck in quicksand.
There had been lots blood mostly springing from Ray's mouth and nose and
the onlookers had gathered quickly. He remembered hearing someone
summoning for help and someone else calling for an ambulance on a cell
phone while he checked Ray's vitals. The delay had seemed forever waiting
for the ambulance to arrive but in reality it had been only three minutes.
Ray had been rushed to the nearest hospital and immediately scheduled for
emergency surgery. His parents had been notified and had granted
permission for the surgery. Fraser had sat in the waiting room, clueless
as to any happenings because the staff refused to divulge any information
concerning his partner's progress. He was told that since he was not
related nor was he the next of kin he would have to ask someone who was a
family member. Being as upset and tense as he was, he didn't try to
entreat anyone for information. It had seemed an eternity for the Mountie
to wait for Ray's parents to arrive and enlighten him to Ray's progress.
Ray would be fine. The surgery had taken several hours but Ray would be
fine was what the doctors had prognosticated. 

"Ray? . . .Ray, it's me, Fraser . . . Ray, please talk to me. The doctors
said you would be fine so please wake up and talk, Ray." 

The detective slept soundly. He laid there with eyes shut and didn't even
stir except for his quiet breathing.  

Fraser recalled being allowed to enter and see him right after the
surgery. His parents had gone home to get some rest after the exhausting
ordeal. He remembered standing beside the bed watching the detective and
he also remembered that he hadn't shed a tear. Maybe it was shock? He
didn't know why he hadn't cried but he did know that he was distraught and
overwrought with pain and guilt and he was also scared. For once he was
terribly scared that he almost lost his partner and best friend to an
absurd accident. But for now, the waiting was going on three days and Ray
still slept on. Now he felt a single tear escape the brim of his eye and
rolled down his cheek then leaped off his jawbone. The tear came three
days late but nonetheless it came. He was angry with himself for appearing
so cold and heartless to the others around him but this was how he was
raised. He was taught to show no fear or emotions concerning most things
in his life. He was an only child being raised by grandparents who,
although loved him dearly, had little time for displays of affection. He
appeared emotionless to the outside world but inside he was still human.
Inside he was riddled with pain and guilt for his partner.  

Stella had arrived during the surgery and there had been many tears from
her. His mother had cried too and even Ray's father had shed some tears
and that was understandable because Ray was their son. Frannie of course,
being Ray's forced upon sister, had her share of tears also. But what
Fraser remembered the most was when Stella had cried because he remembered
hating her. He felt she had no right to any part of Ray after all she had
put him through. After all the turn-downs, rude and inconsiderate remarks
she had inflicted on his partner, during their short time of working
together, but here she was crying. He didn't consider her to have any kind
of tie to Ray, whether she deemed herself a friend, or even an
acquaintance but still she had cried. With tear-filled eyes she turned and
looked at the Mountie. "Has he said anything? Has he opened his eyes at
all Constable?" 

Fraser looked up from where he sat and shook his head dismally. "No, he
hasn't moved since he has arrived." 

She wiped at her eyes and blew into her handkerchief and Fraser hated her
as he sat there and watched. He couldn't believe how angry and hateful he
felt. But, in reality, he was angry with himself because he felt he was
the one that should be crying and not his exwife. 

She spoke up again. "I have to leave now Constable but will you call me
once he is conscious? I would love to see him when he wakes." 

Fraser didn't want her around and wanted to tell her so. He wanted her to
leave and never come back. He wanted to hurt her just the way she had hurt
his friend. But that was not in him. He would never do or say anything
that was un-Mountie like and out of character. He took a deep breath and
it hurt him deep inside to say it, but he said it. "I will notify you of
any change's Attorney Kowalski." 

She nodded and then reached down and kissed her exhusband's forehead.  

Fraser flinched at the gesture but was thankful once she left. He walked
over to the sleeping detective and stared down at his pacified face.
Pulling at the sleeve of his Serge he wiped the kiss away from Ray's face
and mumbled. "She doesn't deserve someone like you Ray. I don't know why
she even bothers to come around . . . she doesn't care about you, not like
I do. I'm sorry Ray but I just don't like her." 

So now here he was late evening and still looking at Ray sleep peacefully.
The nurses, doctors and family had come and gone and Ray still slept on. 

Fraser adjusted the TV, not that Ray would notice then reached over to
fluff the pillows again. He gasped when Ray reached up and grabbed his
wrist. "Fraser." 

Fraser's breath caught in his throat. "Ray! Ray, you're awake!" he almost
grabbed his partner in an embrace but years of exercising control over his
emotions stopped him. 

Fraser noticed those blues dart around the room trying to figure out where
he was.  

"You're in a hospital, Ray. If you recall you were struck down by a truck
and . . . The doctors said that you would be fine but you . . . how do you
feel?" the Mountie fought the urge to touch him, to hug him. 

Ray mumbled. "I'm in pain . . . , did they cut me up?" 

Fraser nodded. "Yes. They had to do emergency surgery. But you are doing
well Ray. Let me go and get the doctor so. . . . " 

"No. . Not yet . . . Fraser? . . Why do I know your name and I can't even
remember mine? You keep calling me Ray. Is Ray my name?" 

Fraser was stunned. "What?" 

"I know your name . . . it's Fraser . . . but I don't know who I am . . .
and what I'm doing here." 

This alarmed the Mountie and he decided to go for the doctor. "Let me go
and get a doctor Ray." 

The doctor came and examined Ray and found him to be doing well under the
circumstances except for what he called the minor problems of memory loss
that should disappear within a few hours to a few months. 

"What do you mean by a few months Doctor and why does he remember only
me?" Fraser asked feeling concerned.  

"Constable, you must recall that the man did land on his head, on the
cement. He was very fortunate that there was no permanent brain damage, or
swelling of the brain and only a minor concussion when he was brought in.
He is fortunate also that his only problems are minimal memory loss after
what he's been through. As for only remembering you, I would have to say
that the two of you must share a close bond because I don't know how else
to explain it. . . . Have his parents been notified?" 

Fraser shook his head. "No, because I wanted to approve it with you
first." 

The Doctor reached into his notepad and pulled out a calling card. "Here
you go. His exwife, Attorney Kowalski requested that she be notified the
minute he woke up. This number here is her pager number Constable. You
need to call her also." 

Fraser stared at the card, then took it and smiled. "Yes, of course I will
notify her Doctor Stevens." 

Ray had been flipping through the channels on the television and was now
bored with it. "Hey doc? So when can I leave this place?" 

"I'll let you know later, Detective Kowalski. Goodbye now." 

"No wait!" Ray called but the doctor left. "Hey Fraser, come 'ere." 

Fraser stepped closer to the bed. "Yes Ray?" 

"Don't call me Ray anymore. Call me . . . call me something like . . . Al
or Tad. I like those names 'cause they're easier to remember." 

Fraser smiled. "But your name isn't Al or Tad, it's Ray. Now, I am going
to call your parents and . . . " 

"And my exwife . . . I have an exwife also, right? Cause I heard the
doctor say so. Is she cute Fraser, cause if she is, then give her a ring
too?! But if she's ugly and monstrous then forget it!" 

Fraser grimaced then turned away. "Yes of course, Ray." 

"Hey, I saw that face Fraser! If she's ugly then don't call her!" 

Fraser turned away and dialed Ray's parents first and then the Attorney. 

"Hello, you have reached Attorney Kowalski's office and how can I be of
help to you?" 

"Hello. My name is Constable Benton Fraser and I am trying to locate
Attorney Kowalski please." 

"Attorney Kowalski is not in at the moment. Would you care to leave a name
and a number where she can reach you?" 

Fraser looked to Ray who was getting up. "Where do you think you are you
going?" 

Ray pulled off the sheets and sat on the edge of the bed. "Whoa! The room
is spinning Fraser! I'm gonna use the can." 

Fraser grabbed him by the forearms and held him still. "You're not
supposed to be getting up, doctors' orders. Here, take this because you
are supposed to use this." 

Ray flinched. "A bedpan?! Hell no! You use it!" 

"But I don't need to go and besides . . . I'm not the one that was struck
by the truck. Now get back into bed and use this." 

"No! I'm not gonna use that! Just help me get to the bathroom Fraser." 

"Ray!" 

"Fraser! . . .And it's Al." 

"Oh, very well, but hold on a second . . . Ray. I'm sorry ma'am. Could you
just have Attorney Kowalski call the hospital? It is in regards to her
exhusband who just woke up from his coma. Thank you kindly." And he hung
up. 

"Hurry up Fraser 'cause I gotta pee!" 

Fraser snaked an arm around his partner's waist and pulled him up
straight. 

Ray swayed and nearly fell forward but Fraser caught hold of him. "Ray!
You should be using the bedpan. You're not supposed to be up just yet." 

"It's Tad and you use the damn thing . . . now get me ta the bathroom and
make it quick Fraser 'cause I'm gonna piddle all over yer nice shiny boots
if you don't." 

Fraser sighed then escorted him into the bathroom. "Okay we're here and
now what?" 

Ray glanced over at him. "Whadda ya mean by what? You can leave now. I
can't pee with you staring at me." 

Fraser shook his head. "That's not a good idea because if I release you,
you are going to fall." 

"No, I'm not, now let go of me." 

Fraser released him and Ray fell forwards but Fraser grabbed him quickly
wrapping both arms around his waist. "Take it easy!" 

"Okay fine . . . You can stay here but at least turn around so I can have
some privacy!" 

Fraser nodded. "Yes, of course." 

He kept one arm wrapped around the detective's waist and swivelled his
body sideways. He then covered his eyes with his free hand. "Okay, go
ahead, Ray." 

"It's Al and . . . oh shit! What the fuck is this!" 

Fraser turned to look. It was pure impulse that made him look.	

"Fraser!" 

He looked away quickly. "I-I'm sorry Ray! I thought that maybe something
had happened. That's a catheter." 

"Y-You mean this is like a pee-bag? And they stuck that tube all the way .
. . Jesus! I must've been really knocked out when they did this ta me
'cause I never would, allow something like this while I was awake!" 

"You must have the tube pinched somewhere along the line for you to have
the need to empty your bladder. Let me get you back into the bed Ray." 

"Uh, uh . . . I'm gonna take this shit off." 

Fraser reached over and grabbed his hand. "Is that a wise thing to do? You
do realize you will have to pull the tube out from inside of you? You
don't know if there is pain involved after the removal." 

Ray looked down at the hand grasping his hand and his own hand holding his
penis. "Fraser . . . I don't need a hand job if you don't mind." 

Fraser looked at his hand then pulled it off quickly. Blushing profusely
he mumbled. I-I . . . So sorry Ray . . . I wasn't . . . I . . . it was . .
. " 

Ray cracked up laughing. "Hey! It's okay . . . you were just trying ta be
helpful, I can understand that. I can tell yer not the gay type anyway so
don't let it bother ya . . . besides yer right. I don't want to find out
that it's painful . . . just get me back to the bed okay?" 

"Um . . . yes, of course." Fraser was still blushing as he helped Ray
hobble back out. He pushed the door open and was stunned to see Ray's
parents standing there already.  

Barbara Kowalski, Ray's mom was ecstatic to see her son and rushed over to
him. "Oh Stanley! Oh my God but your awake and walking! Oh my poor baby!"
She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. She was squeezing the
breath out of him thought Ray until she stepped back and wiped at her
tears before excitedly adding. "Let me see you! Oh, but you look so good,
a little thin, but so good! Doesn't he look so good, Damien?!" 

Ray was grinning from ear to ear as this nice lady was all over him,
touching his face, his hair and kissing his cheeks.  

Fraser maintained a hold around Ray's waist holding him in place.  

Ray looked over at the older man standing behind her fidgeting around
looking both nervous and relieved.  

"Damien! Come and hug your son, Damien! Look at him! Our Stanley's going
to be just fine!" 

Damien stepped forward and at first shook Ray's hand. After a few seconds
he wrapped his arms around Ray and gave him a tight squeeze then backed
away quickly and stuck his hands back into his pockets as he hid behind
his wife. 

Fraser then helped Ray get back into the bed. He was covering his partner
when Ray grabbed his Serge and pulled him close to whisper in his face.
"Fraser . . . I don't know who these people are so don't leave me alone
with them! And why is she calling me Stanley? I thought my name was Ray." 

It alarmed Fraser that Ray didn't recognize his parents. He then
whispered. "Your mom calls you Stanley . . . I'll explain later." 

Fraser stepped back and allowed Barbara to do her motherly duties,
fluffing the pillow, pinching his cheek, kissing him and making small
talk.  

Ray finally complained about being tired and wanting to sleep so they
finally left. 

"Fraser? Are they gone?" 

Fraser got off the chair. "Ray . . . I thought you were asleep." 

"No, I just wanted them to leave before they figured out that I didn't
know who they were. Fraser, I'm supposed to be having Thanksgiving dinner
with them in a few days and I don't even know who they are! I barely know
who you are or who I am! All I know is that yer name is Fraser and I'm
supposedly this Ray Stanley and I'm a detective somewhere in Chicago. Are
you my best friend?" 

"Well . . . I'd like to believe that I am . . . We have been partners for
over a year now." 

"Okay, but why are you wearing that red uniform? Are you like a Marine or
something?" 

Fraser smiled. "No, I'm a Canadian Constable who came to Chicago on the
trail of . . . never mind . . . I work in liaison with the Chicago Police
Department so therefore I work with you. You and I are partners in the
Chicago Police department remember?" 

There was a soft knock and Stella rushed in. "Oh my God Ray but you are
awake!" 

She hurried in and embraced her exhusband.  

Ray looked up at Fraser, smiled and mouthed. "Who is this?"  

Fraser stepped back and didn't respond. 

Ray was puzzled by the sudden change in his partner. He was puzzled by the
cold, scowling look in the Mountie's face. 

Fraser murmured. "I took the liberty of calling Attorney Stella Kowalski,
your exwife as soon as I had a chance to Ray. She did request that she be
notified of any changes." 

Ray cocked an eyebrow at the Mountie obviously pleased that his exwife
wasn't as ugly as he thought and then he smiled as she held him tight.	

"Oh Ray! Your parents and I were so worried about you! This was such a
horrible nightmare but thank God you are all right now! This will make the
holidays so much better now!" 

Ray looked up at the pretty woman that was pushing his hair off his face.
He smiled at her and added. "I'm so glad that you came to see me, Stella.
It's good to see you also." 

"Not as glad as we are to have you back, Ray!"	

"Stella? Will you be coming to the Thanksgiving dinner at my mum's?" 

She had already taken a seat on the bed beside Ray and fiddled with the
drawstrings on his gown, tying them tight. "Well, I was going to have to
work that day but after this happened I decided that I should be with you.
Barbara invited me so I'll just call her and tell her that I'll be there
for Thanksgiving after all. We do have something special to celebrate." 

Ray smiled as he gazed into her eyes and held her hands. "That would be
great Stella. . . .I can't wait." 

Fraser glanced at them sitting close to each other, holding hands, staring
into each other's eyes and couldn't stand any more of it so he turned to
leave. 

"Fraser?" 

His hand was in midair reaching for the door when Ray called him. "Yes
Ray?" 

"Where are you going? You're not leaving are you?" 

"Well, now that you have company, I thought that I should head back to the
Consulate and . . ." 

"No. . . . I mean, there's things that I have to discuss with you. Please
don't go yet." 

Fraser nodded. "Yes, of course Ray. I'll just wait in the lobby so you . .
. " 

"No. . . . Stella, could you please excuse me for now . . . I need ta
rest. I'm sorry but I'm so exhausted after my parents . . . " 

"It's okay Ray . . . I do have a case across town and I'm already late as
it is. I'll come back to see you later tonight okay? You get some rest and
take it easy all right?" 

Ray nodded then reached up when Stella reached over to kiss him.  

Fraser looked away.  

She then came up to the Mountie and added. "Thank you for contacting me,
Constable. I will be by later tonight to check on his progress." 

Fraser saw that angry look in her face as she passed him heading outside.
Why she was angry, he did not know. 

"Fraser come 'ere." 

The Mountie stepped over to the bed and sat down when Ray patted the place
next to him. "You don't like her do you? I can see it in yer face . . . Is
she a royal bitch?" 

Fraser glanced at his partner and shook his head. "I can't say Ray. After
all she is your exwife." 

Ray smiled. "Well yeah, but I don't know her and you do . . . But ya gotta
admit that she looks great! . . Except for the part about her being my
exwife as in *ex* for a reason. Why did I divorce her?" 

Fraser shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know the reason's because you
never told me." 

"Hm . . . well, maybe she'll have pity on me now and want to take me back.
Whadda ya think? . .Have we tried to reconcile?" 

Fraser observed him then shook his head. "I don't know Ray. I don't know
much about your relationship with your exwife only that she doesn't want
to reconcile with you." 

"So I was that bad huh? Fraser, you are coming to the dinner at my
parent's house right?" 

The Mountie shook his head once again. "I wasn't invited." 

Ray frowned. "But you have ta come . . . I can't do this by myself . . . I
don't even know them!" 

"Well you could tell them about your amnesia, Ray . . . I'm sure they will
be very helpful and understanding." 

"No. . . . I don't even know them so how can I tell them? . . . you will
come with me won't you, Fraser?" 

"I don't think that I should Ray . . . besides, you will be with your
parents and your exwife and . . . " 

"Yeah, but you're my best friend and you're the only one that I do know.
Please?" he pleaded batting those blond lashes at his partner.	

Fraser stared at him then nodded. "Oh . . . very well . . . if you
insist." 

*************************************************************** 

Ray was released several days later with orders to get lots of rest and to
remain at home. He was led up the stairs to his apartment by the Mountie.
The detective's parents had wanted him at home but Ray was apprehensive
about staying with people that he didn't know. Fraser helped his partner
over to the couch. "Are you sure you shouldn't be over at your parents
house Ray? It will be quite difficult for you to get around here and . . .
" 

"Hold on, Fraser . . . that's why I called ya over. I wanted ta ask ya fer
a big favor. Since yer not married and you don't have attachments, I
wanted ta know if you'd stay with me for a couple of days? Just till I get
the feel of things. Whadda ya think? I don't wanna stay with people that I
don't know and besides . . . I don't even remember this apartment either.
I kinda need you around if you don't mind." 

Fraser nodded. "Well . . . I don't see a problem with staying here, Ray. I
can understand your dilemma. I can stay here for the meantime until you
can get your bearings back. I'll just head back to the Consulate and
collect some things and I'll be back shortly." 

"Take the car. . . . It'll make it easier for you. I'll order something to
eat. Do I have a phone and a phone book? . . . .Do I have cable Fraser?" 

Fraser smiled and handed Ray his remote. "You have a phone, a phone book
and yes, you do have cable." 

Ray grabbed the remote and Fraser's hand at the same time and smiled. "Hey
. . . yer a great buddy ta have around . . . Yer really okay, Fraser and I
appreciate ya." 

Fraser was stunned as Ray held onto his hand. He blushed and couldn't stop
the smile from creeping into his face. "T-Thank you kindly Ray. Now . . .
I do have to get going and I'll be back shortly. You stay indoors all
right? I don't want anything to happen to you while I'm gone." Fraser
pulled his hand away slowly. 

Ray settled back into his couch. "No problem. Can't walk the stairs by
myself anyway so I'll be okay." 

Fraser nodded, got up and left. 

*************************************************************** 

When he returned, he stepped in and saw his partner asleep on Stella's
lap.  

They looked at each other wondering what each was doing there. 

Fraser continued into the living room with this back pack. "Good evening
Attorney Kowalski." 

"Hello Constable, are you moving in?" 

Fraser dropped his back pack on the floor beside the couch then took a
seat in the armchair. "I'm going to be staying here for a few days. Ray
thought it would be difficult for him to move around so he requested for
me to stay." 

Stella turned away and brushed her fingers through Ray's golden spikes as
she looked down at him sleep. She then looked up at the Mountie. "I told
him to go and stay with his mother but the man can be so stubborn at times
. . . He should be there with her you know. Maybe you could convince him
to go. Sometimes he only listens to you. I don't know why he does, but he
does." 

Fraser caught the sarcasm in the last sentence. He ignored it and nodded.
"I will talk to him and do my best to convince him to stay with his
mother. Now . . . if you will excuse me. I should unpack." He got up and
started off toward his backpack. 

Stella maneuvered her way out from under Ray and added. "I have to run
now. Will you let him know that I'll return tomorrow to see how he is
doing? And this time . . . keep a closer eye on him." 

Fraser turned to catch her glaring at him."Yes . . . of course." Was all
he could say. Then she left. Fraser locked the door behind her and leaned
into it wondering what the Attorney meant by her innuendoes. He looked
over at the sleeping man on the couch and then mumbled. "Maybe staying
here isn't going to be a good idea. This might not work out after all." 

Fraser went to shower and dressed into jeans and a white pullover. He
heard the doorbell and hurried to answer it.  

"Hello there . . . I have one large pepperoni with extra cheese all ready
for you. That'll be $12.55 sir." 

"Oh . . . Would you please hold on a minute and let me go and get the
money?" 

"Sure . . . no problem." 

Fraser hurried over to his Stetson and pulled out the only ten-dollar bill
he had. He glanced over at his sleeping partner then hurried over to him.
Fraser was about to wake him, but Ray looked so peaceful and serene so he
decided not to. He had noticed the detective's wallet sticking out of his
back pocket and decided to borrow the money for the pizza instead. Pulling
the wallet out carefully Fraser then rummaged through it and found a
ten-dollar bill. Fraser was pulling the money out of the wallet when it
slipped from his hands and fell to the floor. A flicker of red caught his
eye when he was reaching for it. Flipping it open he noticed a photo of
himself dressed in his Red serge and Stetson. He didn't recall ever giving
the detective a photo or recalled having posed for the photo. He looked at
it closely and noticed that he was sitting on the edge of Ray's desk and
he was smiling rather jovially. Flipping the photo over he noticed the
writing on the back and started to read it. //My dear most wonderful
lover! // Fraser was stunned with the endearment and then the knocking at
the door startled him. Pushing the photo back into its sleeve he closed
the wallet and placed it back into Ray's pants hurrying over to pay the
pizza. Returning with the pizza he placed it on the coffee table then went
to the kitchen for some glasses. He served the drinks then returned and
leaned down to wake the detective. 

"Ray? . . .Ray? . . .Ray, wake up." 

Ray only stirred. 

Fraser grabbed a big slice of pizza then sat by his partner and wielded it
under his nose. "Come on Ray. It's time to eat." 

Ray took a whiff then stirred . . . two seconds later he took another
whiff and his eyes popped open. He looked over and found the Mountie
holding a large slice of pizza under his nose. Looking up he saw that
huge, broad smile splayed across his partner's face and Ray smiled in
return. "Gosh Fraser, but that sure smells great! I forgot that I ordered
it and told them not ta start on it yet until an hour and a half later
till I knew you'd be here . . . I wanted it ta be warm when ya got here.
How long have you been gone, Fraser?" Ray took the slice of pizza from his
partner and devoured it immediately. 

Fraser smiled as he watched his partner munching on the second piece.
"I've been gone for a while. . . . I hope you don't mind, but I had to
borrow money from your wallet to pay for the pizza Ray . . . and I did
notice that you had company when I returned." 

Ray glanced over at him. "Oh yeah . . . she came by ta visit me. She's
pretty cool Fraser . . . but what I can't understand is why don't you like
her? You gotta admit that's she's pretty great looking too." 

Fraser glanced at him and continued eating his pizza. He didn't comment. 

Ray stopped eating. "Why don't you like her Fraser?" 

Fraser put his pizza down and looked away. "Let's just say that we don't
get along very well with each other Ray. I have never liked the way she's
treated you around the precinct, or anywhere else for that matter and the
Attorney isn't comfortable with my ways." 

Ray sat back and munched on his pizza. "Well that pretty much covers
everything, huh? She did mention that both of you weren't exactly the best
of friends but I wondered why." 

Fraser stared at his partner then looked away. "She did? . . .Well then,
now you know. We don't get along well . . . have you talked about . . . a
. . . reconciliation?" 

Ray chugged down his soda and nodded. "Yeh . . . yeh we did earlier." 

Fraser put his slice of pizza down and stared at his partner. "And?" 

Ray noticed that worried look in his partner's face and stared into those
dark grey-blues. "You don't want me to reconcile with her do you Fraser? .
. . My mum happens ta like . . . well at least, Stella tells me so that my
mum likes her. Do you know?" 

"Ray . . . if you don't mind . . . I would rather not discuss Attorney
Kowalski with you. What you do with her is none of my business and I
really don't care to know." 

Ray stared at the Mountie. "God, you really can't stand her, can you? . .
. Okay . . . That's cool. But you are coming to the Thanksgiving dinner
and you don't have a choice. Now about our sleeping arrangements. I'll
take the couch and . . . " 

"No. . I brought my duffle bag and I'll be sleeping on the floor. You take
your bed because I'm sure your surgical stitches . . . " 

 "No, hey hold on a minute here . . . we can both fit on my bed. It's big
enough fer the two of us and if it doesn't bother ya to sleep with me then
. . . " 

"Thank you kindly Ray . . . but I really am used to sleeping on the
floor." 

Ray gazed into those huge blues and didn't know what to make of his
partner. "Fraser, I don't bite . . . much. . . .I mean, come on . . . I'm
not gonna do you anything indecent! . . . I promise! You can even sleep
with your uniform on all buttoned up and rope so I can't touch ya, okay?!"


Fraser smiled when Ray broke out laughing. "Oh very well . . . But I don't
sleep in my uniform." 

"That's okay with me just as long as you don't sleep in the nude 'cause
that might present a problem since I can't remember where I put my
condoms." 

Fraser coughed, choking on a bite of pizza that he was in the process of
swallowing. 

Ray broke out laughing again and patted the Mountie's back. "Kidding! I
was just kidding Fraser! God! You need ta loosen up some. Don't we kid
around like this? Here, have some coke and wash it down." 

The Mountie took a drink and cleared his throat.  

******************************************** 

Ray stood by as Fraser made the bed. Once the Mountie was through, he sat
on the edge and pulled his tee over his head being mindful of the stitches
but then he stopped. "Ouch! Stuck . . . I'm stuck! Hello there, but I'm
stu-uck!" 

Fraser came over noticing Ray's head was hidden somewhere inside the tee.
"Let me help you." He reached for the T-shirt sleeves and pulled it off
his partner being very careful not to tug or pull. "There you go." 

Ray smiled and blinked at him then tried to reach down to remove his
tennis. "Ouch." 

Fraser smiled then dropped to his knees and added. "I'll get this for you
Ray." 

Ray glanced over at his partner and smiled. "I'm surely glad that yer here
Fraser cause I couldn't do this without you, ya know." 

Fraser pulled off one shoe and the sock and started on the next one. He
couldn't resist asking. "Wouldn't you prefer having Attorney Kowalski do
this instead?" 

Ray glanced up at him and smiled. "Well yeh . . . but since she's not here
and she's not volunteering then I'm glad that yer here." 

Fraser nodded. "Understood." He pulled off the other shoe then sat back on
his heels.  

Ray smiled then reached for his belt. "Wanna help me with this too?" 

This made the Mountie nervous and he got up quicky then made his way
around to the other side of the bed. He removed his boots and placed them
beside the bed and felt the bed move as Ray made his way under the covers.
Next he pulled off his pullover and heard the cat whistle coming from
behind. 

Fraser whirled around and stared at Ray. 

Ray smiled and batted his eyelashes. "Whoa! . . . That's a really nice
body! Do you lift weights?" 

Fraser blushed a dark shade of tomato red and mumbled. "N-No . . . I don't
have the time." He noticed Ray reclining into the headboard with hands
behind his head smiling and staring at him. This made the Mountie uneasy
so he turned away quickly, raised the covers and tucked himself into them.


Ray stared at him as he laid there staring up at the ceiling.  

Then he looked at the detective. "Ray? You're staring at me." 

"Yeh, I know . . . I was just wondering why you don't have a girlfriend
Fraser? It's not like yer ugly or anything. I mean, actually yer quite
good looking. Handsome's more the word ta describe somebody like ya . . .
You got a fantastic body, no doubt about that one and you got an awful
pretty face too . . . The only problem I see with you is yer too damn
nice. So why don't you have'a girlfriend buddy?" 

The Mountie blushed again. "Ray . . . I'm just not ready for any kind of
commitment." 

Ray inched further down into the bed being careful of his surgery. "Well,
ya don' t have ta be committed ta anyone to have a girlfriend Fraser. Is
it 'cause yer too shy? Because every time I compliment you, you turn this
shade of candy red and . . . So do you have sex? Do we talk about sex
Fraser?"" 

Now the Mountie was really blushing. He hadn't expected his partner to be
so candid and talkative tonight. "Ray, maybe we should get some sleep." 

Then he saw Ray's eyes pop wide open as if someone had poked him with an
electric probe.  

"Jesus! It just occurred ta me that yer gay! I mean, but it's the only
logical explanation 'cause yer single, way too handsome, polite, tidy . .
. yer gay, Fraser! Jesus! Are we lovers?! You and me, have we had sex
before?!" 

"Ray! I am not gay and you and I have never . . . could we get some sleep
please!" 

"Whe-e-e-ew! . . .I thought maybe I was gay and I was neglecting you,
Fraser. I mean, I thought me and you were lovers and . . . But I can't be
gay and have an exwife, right?" 

"Really Ray . . . you need to get some sleep because now you are
hallucinating." 

Ray popped up again."I got it now! I'm bisexual! I got an exwife and I got
you for a boyfriend!" he turned to his partner. "Am I lucky or what? So
why aren't we having sex, Fraser?" 

Fraser wore an incredulous look on his face as he stared at his partner
then he smiled when Ray cracked up laughing. 

"Oh God, but that look on yer face is priceless buddy! . . . I'm sorry
Fraser . . . I don't mean ta freak you out. I'm just kidding. It's this
bump on my head making me think all kinds of weird stuff. . . .Good night
Fraser." 

Fraser relaxed then clicked the lamp off and responded. "Good night Ray." 

"Fraser?" 

"Yes Ray?" 

"Do you and I have kids together?" 

"Ray." 

"Night Fraser." 

"Good night Ray." 

"Fraser?" 

"Yes?" 

"Do you wanna have sex?" 

"Ray!" 

"Okay, okay! You don't have to get all bitchy and everything . . . I'd
just thought I'd ask. . . .Night Fraser." 

"Good night Ray." 

"Of course, a hand job like the one ya tried to give me at the hospital
would be nice Fraser." 

"Good night Ray!" 

"Okay." 

**************************************************************** 

Fraser woke up in the middle of the night and the first thing he noticed
was his partner wrapped around him like a blanket. An arm was wrapped
around his waist, and a leg was draped across his crotch and Ray's face
dug under his shoulder buried in his neck. He could feel the warm breath
caressing his neck and the hard erection poking into the side of his hip. 


"Oh dear." 

First thing he did was to remove the arm from around his waist. Then he
lifted Ray's leg and placed it behind himself. He scooted away but was
stunned when the detective's arm snaked its way back around his waist and
then Ray spooned up behind him. Now the detective's erection was poking
him right between the butt cheeks through his boxers. Not only was it
poking him but Ray was pumping into him gently now.  

Fraser shut his eyes as his own penis came awake. This was not good. It
was not good at all so he decided it was best not to move. He was
perfectly still until Ray whispered into his ear. "Mmmm Stella . . . come
on baby." 

Now the Mountie bolted out of bed.  

Ray woke up immediately. "Wha-at? . . What's going on? Fraser? . . .are
you okay? . . .Were you having a nightmare?" 

Fraser glanced over at his partner as he sat back on the bed. There was no
sense in alarming his partner. "Yes Ray . . . I'm terribly sorry that I
woke you up. Please . . . go back to sleep. I'm fine now." 

Ray stirred, turned around and mumbled. "Okay . . . night Fraser." 

Fraser waited to hear the soft, slow breathing of his partner then laid
back down. He didn't know what to think about the fact that he had an
erection because of what his partner was doing to him. He convinced
himself that the erection was an involuntary reflex due to the unconscious
stimulation coming from his partner. But what bothered him now was that he
still had an erection even after Ray had called him Stella. 

**************************************************************************


And for the next few days they had a new routine. Fraser would arrive at
Ray's apartment after leaving the Consulate and find Stella there dining
with Ray or keeping him company and the two would joking and having a good
time. She would leave as soon as Fraser arrived then Ray would spend the
rest of the evening with him. Sleeping together still required removing
the detective off him most nights and Ray would still call him Stella some
nights. 

**************************************************************** 

Early morning and Ray had Fraser wrapped up again.  

Fraser had a horrendous, painful erection and needed to get up but Ray
wouldn't budge. Now he had no choice but to wake his sleeping partner.
"Ray? . . .Ray? . . .Ray?" 

Ray stirred and released the Mountie. "Huh?" 

Fraser pulled away from him. "I need to use the bathroom. Could you please
scoot over?" 

Ray pulled away and Fraser got up.  

He went to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He winched as he
reached into his boxers for his penis, preparing to pee. As of lately he
had gotten in the habit of sleeping in boxers because Ray insisted that he
should. But sleeping with Ray was getting to be too painful so he had
decided that he would move out today. Ray was getting around easier now
and besides he had Stella to help him out most evenings. She seemed to
come around more often now that Ray was different. Ray's parents nor
Stella noticed that Ray had no memory of them. And since he had no memory
of them he did not harbor any bad feelings toward them. Ray was smart, he
was a smart detective and knew how to be evasive and dodge certain
questions that they threw at him. The doctor had not released Ray to work
yet because of his amnesia but Welsh knew of his condition and demanded
that he stay home. In fact only Welsh, next to Fraser and the doctor, knew
of Ray's condition.  

Fraser was relieved when he emptied his bladder and the pressure had been
removed. He glanced at himself in the mirror and noticed how tired he
looked. As of lately he had grown to hate this arrangement because
watching Ray and his exwife together angered him. There were many things
about the woman that he just didn't like but seeing her hover over Ray
would really irritate him. He was snapped back into the present when he
heard Ray's voice. 

"Fraser?" 

Fraser washed his hands then headed out. "Yes Ray?" 

"Are you okay? . . .You've been in the bathroom for a while . . . I mean,
I don't wanna rush you or anything but it's barely four in the morning and
dinner's not till six in this evening." 

Fraser smiled and slipped back under the covers. "Go to sleep Ray. You
need your sleep." 

Ray smiled and reached over cupping the Mountie's cheek with one warm
hand. "Yeh . . . I'll do that Fraser honey." 

Fraser was stunned by the gesture. He hadn't expected Ray to touch him or
to call him *honey. * for that matter. But the detective had dozed off
soon after. 

***************************************** 

Fraser got up a little later then usual and hurried to prepare Ray's
coffee before taking off. He was out the building when he heard someone
call out his name. Whirling around he saw Attorney Kowalski leaning
against Ray's car. 

"Constable . . . I would like to have a word with you." Was all she said
as he stepped up to him. 

************************************************************************* 

Ray stirred around in the bed then realized Fraser was gone. He got up and
drifted to the bathroom knocking softly as he called out. "Fraser? . .
.are you in there?" There was no answer. Ray knocked again then turned the
knob. "Fraser? I'm coming in so ya better cover the priceless family
jewels 'cause I might just snatch one." 

Ray peeked in and didn't find the Mountie. "Hm . . . guess he took off ta
work." Ray stepped further in and situated himself in front of the toilet
to empty his bladder. He finished then ran the water to wash his hands and
then his face. Reaching for the toothbrush, he noticed that Fraser's brush
was gone. He glanced up to the place where the Mountie kept his shaving
kit and noticed that it was gone too. "Okay . . . what's going on here?"  

************************************************************* 

Hours later at lunchtime Ray called the Consulate and got Turnbull on the
line.  

"So you haven't seen him today, Turnbull? Not at all?" 

"No Sir, Detective Vecchio. But if you'll leave a number where he can
reach you I'll be more then . . . " 

"No, never mind. I'll just wait for him to call me later. Thanks
Turnbull." 

But Fraser never called. In fact Stella came to see if he needed a ride
over to his parents and Ray refused insisting that he could drive himself
over even though he didn't know the way. 

Stella didn't want to leave him but she finally gave in and left.  

Ray waited another hour for Fraser to arrive then he called the Lieutenant
and asked him directions to his parent's house. 

************************************************************* 

"Mum? Has Fraser called?" Ray reached over and kissed her cheek. 

"No dear . . . Where's Stella?" 

"She's in the living room. Dad? Has Fraser called?" 

"Not that I know of. Barbara, has . . . " 

"I already asked her dad. Well, when he calls tell him I'm already here so
he won't worry about me. And tell him to hurry up and get here as quick as
possible." 

Barbara looked at him then looked away quickly. "Yes, of course dear." 

Ray was heading out of the kitchen then stopped and whirled around. "Mum?
Why didn't you invite Fraser to the dinner? He is my best friend." 

Barbara glanced over at her husband who just looked away uneasily then she
looked back at her son. "Well, it's not a secret that Stella doesn't like
him dear. We decided that this should be the family gathering and we
wanted you and Stella here . . . It's not that we don't like him Stanley
but Stella . . . would be very uncomfortable having him here." 

Ray looked to both of them then added. "Stella would be uncomfortable?
Well, we'll see about that." He headed to the living room to find his
exwife. 

"Stella? Can I ask you a question? Why don't you like Fraser?" 

Stella was looking through some CD's she brought over and stopped when Ray
called out to her. "Excuse me?" 

"Fraser . . . why don't you like him?" 

She shrugged her shoulders then added in a distracted sort of way. "It's
not that I don't like him, but it's just that he's so meddlesome. He acts
as if he owns you, Ray . . . Or like he has the right to make decisions
for you and your life without even consulting with you. The man is always
looking for trouble and then he expects you to come and bale him out . . .
He's always putting you right in the middle of his problems. I mean, where
was he when you were chasing those criminals, Ray? Where was he when the
truck hit you?" 

"I'm sure he was around Stella. And you know he can't be with me twenty
four hours a day. He doesn't tell me what to do." Ray settled besides her
on the couch. 

"Really? Have you stopped to consider why he's glued to your side now? The
man's probably feeling guilty because he knows that if was his fault for
getting you injured." 

"What?! . . . That's not why he's with me, Stella! . . .He's with me
because I asked him to stay with me. I needed help to get around after the
surgery and he said okay. He didn't stay because he felt guilty. He did it
'cause the man's my friend." 

"How do you know that he's not feeling guilty? Why can't he face me or
your parents then? Why can't he stand there and look me in the eye every
time I go to your apartment? Because he knows that he's to blame for what
happened to you, Ray. He knows he's always to blame for getting you into
trouble!" 

"Stella, Benton's not like that. I'm a big boy and we're together 'cause
we're partners. We're both, dedicated cops out doing our jobs. I know that
what happened to me isn't his fault. I was doing my duty and he was doing
his." 

"So where is he? Why isn't he here with you now, Ray? Because the man
probably can't face your family knowing what he did to you." 

Ray shook his head. "Nah., that's not true . . . He's not to blame for
anything so don't even go there Stella . . . He's my friend and he would
never do anything to hurt me . . . I'll be back." He got up and started
out. 

"Ray?" 

But he continued on out. 

Barbara heard the front door slam and hurried outside. She saw her son
getting into the car. "Stanley? . . .Stanley, where are you going?" 

Ray was buckling up when he glanced over at her "I'm gonna go find Fraser,
mum . . . he should be here with us . . . The man is my friend regardless
of what anybody say's or thinks. What happened ta me is my fault and not
his so I'll be back when I find him." 

"But Stanley, this is our Thanksgiving dinner!" 

"Yeh, I know mum. But I'm thankful for having a friend like Fraser and
dinner wouldn't be the same without him. I'll be back."  

Barbara wanted to stop him but could only watch her son go.  

Stella stepped up behind her. "Ray's angry with me." 

Barbara turned to face her. "He's angry with all of us dear." 

******************************************************** 

Ray drove around in circles not knowing where he was going or where he
was. He did know that he was in a lot of pain because the pain killers had
already subsided. Then something occurred to him and he dialed the
Lieutenant. Waiting to be connected he snapped at himself. "Dammit Ray!
Why didn't you think about that in the first place?! Of course he would be
there!" He finally found the Lieutenant and explained the situation to
him. After a minute the detective did an illegal U-turn and hightailed
back into town. Several minutes later he pulled up to the park and there
he spotted the Stetson. He wouldn't have seen the Serge because Fraser was
wearing a coat since it had snowed last night. He pulled into a parking
space, parked then hobbled over to where the Mountie sat. "Fraser?" 

Fraser whipped around and saw his partner coming up behind him. "Ray! What
are you doing here?" 

The detective plopped down beside him and grimaced at the pain that shot
up his chest. "I've been looking all over town for ya that's what I'm
doing here! Fuck . . . you sure make things hard on me . . . Where'd ya go
after you left my apartment?" 

Fraser looked behind him and spotted Ray's car. "You drove here? Where's
Attorney Kowalski? Shouldn't you be at your parent's house having dinner?"


"Yeh and why aren't you there? I invited you Fraser . . . why'd you walk
out on me? You didn't even leave a note or anything. I thought we were
friends Fraser. That's not what friends do." 

"We are friends, but Ray . . . I just didn't want to intrude on your
family gathering. It was going to be awkward for all of us so I decided it
best not to go. You should get back there. I'm all right. I was enjoying a
nice walk and decided to rest for a while." 

"Liar! Dammit Fraser, you know that's not true! I must've lost some
marbles but I'm not that dense. Come on, look around you! It's freezing
cold out here so whom in their right mind would go for a walk? . . .Look
over there, Fraser . . . isn't that the place where I got struck down by
the truck? You see that yellow streamer flapping in the air? That's where
I landed when I was hit. Yer sitting here blaming yerself for this aren't
ya? You think its yer fault, don't you?" 

Fraser had been staring into those pale blues as Ray scolded him then he
looked away. "Don't be ridiculous." 

"I'm not being ridiculous! It's you whose ridiculous! You weren't ta blame
for what happened to me! I'm a cop and I was doing my job when I was
struck down! I get paid to chase criminals 'cause that's what I do for a
living!" 

Fraser stood up and looked away. "Yes, but I was the one who should have
been going after them. I was the one who spotted them in the first place
and I should have been the one running after them and not you!" 

Ray came up and stepped in front of him. "Oh God Fraser but that sounds so
stupid! You mean ta tell me that yer blaming yerself for all this? I was
the one that made a bad judgement call is what happened! I'm not blaming
ya for what happened Fraser! You really think that I wish this had
happened to ya and not me? You think that I'd want the truck ta hit ya and
have you laid up in a hospital bed?" Ray was holding his side at the pain
that was creeping in 

"Ray." 

"How can you even think that!? How can you think that I would wanna see ya
hurt in anyway?! God dammit Fraser is that how the other Ray thinks?! I've
just spent two whole hours looking fer ya in a town that I don't even know
or recognize and you don't think that I care?! Not only that, I've spent
all morning long worrying my ass off wondering where the fuck you went to
when ya left my fucking bed this morning!" 

"Ray please . . . " 

"Please what?! Please don't hurt me anymore cause I'm already feeling
guilty enough?! Dammit Fraser, but I've never even blamed ya for a thing
in the first place so why are you doing this to me?! Why are you running
away from me?! I'm supposed ta be yer damn friend! I'm the one who cares
about ya or did you forget that?! I'm the one that's worrying my ass off
wondering what I did ta make you run away from me? Wondering if . . ." 

Fraser covered his face and cried silently. He had been holding back the
tears since his partner's injury and now he couldn't stop them. 

Ray was stunned and stopped talking while staring at his partner. He then
reached forward and grabbed Fraser's wrist. "Fraser don't . . . don't do
that." 

The Mountie wiped his eyes with his gloves and cleared his throat. "I'm
sorry Ray . . . P-Please forgive my outburst." 

Ray gazed into the tear-stained blues then stepped forward and wrapped
both arms around the Mountie burying his face into his shoulder. He
stepped closer and mumbled. "I'm sorry Fraser . . . I didn't mean ta push
you like that. I'm just scared . . . I need ya to be around me cause yer
the only person I think I know . . . I just want ya to realize that I
don't blame ya for anything . . . I need ya ta be my best friend Fraser. I
need ya to be with me. I don't even know who I am, and Fraser, yer the
only one who does know." 

Fraser did not move. He was afraid to return the embrace. He was afraid of
his partner's closeness because it made him feel vulnerable. Ray's
closeness made him feel human, fallible and even weak.	

Ray stepped away. "Fraser, come on and let's go. My mum's waiting for us."


"No Ray . . . I cannot go there. Take me to the Consulate and you go and .
. ." 

"No! If you don't go with me then I won't go either. I'm serious Fraser."
Ray stared into those moistened, sad blues. "Fraser, I need you to be
there with me . . . I can't do this by myself. I've been worried half
outta my damaged mind looking all over the place fer ya! You didn't even
leave me a note and I didn't even know what I had done wrong." 

Fraser shook his head. "You didn't do anything wrong Ray." 

"Okay, then come with me . . . please . . . Unless . . . unless yer scared
because I'm always climbing all over ya at nights trying ta bone ya?" 

Fraser's eyes widened in shock. "You knew about that?" 

Ray laughed. "Yeh, yeh, of course I did . . . but I couldn't help myself!
. . .cause . . . it's cause you have such a nice ass Benton honey." Ray
reached under and pinched his butt. 

"Ray!" gasped Fraser. 

Ray cracked up laughing. "I'm sorry! I was just kidding! Come on Fraser."
Ray grabbed his hand and tugged at him. "Let's go home and make up, honey.
I'll tell ya what I'll do . . . If ya come with me I'll even let ya have
my share of the lumpy gravy! How's that?" 

Fraser smiled, shook his head and followed his friend. He reached for
Ray's elbow when the detective almost tripped. "Are you okay Ray?" 

"Yeh . . . I did that on purpose so you could hug me . . . No seriously,
Fraser, I think I need some more of those pain killers. You do the driving
okay? I'll just get us lost" 

"Yes . . . of course." 

They buckled up and Fraser pulled out of the area.  

Ray glanced back to the place where he was struck down but had no memories
of it. He knew the location because the Lieutenant had told him about it
but he had no recollection of the accident. Ray took some of the pain
killers to make the pain subside before they would arrive at his mom's
house.	

*********************************************************************** 

Barbara and Stella hurried over when they saw Fraser pulling in.  

Stella glared at the Mountie when he stepped out of the car. "Is he okay?"


Ray wrapped an arm around his mom. "I'm fine . . . Nothing's wrong. Come
on Fraser." 

Fraser followed them as the women helped Ray up the stairs and indoors.  

Ray headed straight for the couch still feeling some discomfort and Stella
sat beside him immediately. 

Ray glanced up at the Mountie and patted the seat beside him. "Have a seat
Fraser." 

Fraser chose the seat across from him instead making Ray frown.  

Stella was already fussing over Ray, combing her fingers through his hair
and caressing his face. "Oh Ray! We were so worried about you! Where have
you been? You've been gone for nearly two hours!" 

Ray smiled. "I told you that I had to go find Fraser." He looked away and
called out. "Mum! I'm starving! Is the food ready yet?" 

Barbara came in. "Yes, of course now let's all go to the table." 

Stella got up and noticed that Ray was having a hard time getting up. She
reached down to help him but another hand shot past her and took hold of
Ray's hand. Stella looked behind her and noticed Fraser helping Ray up.  

"Thanks! Come on Stell let's go eat." 

Ray walked off and Stella glared at the Mountie.  

Fraser stared back almost wishing she would say something. Then he went
past her and followed after Ray. 

They sat around the table with Ray and Stella on the one side and Fraser
on the other. Stella glared at the Mountie and he glared in return.  

Ray noticed the tension between them but didn't say anything. The talk
around the table was superficial as Ray tried to keep things light. Every
once in a while Fraser corrected him when the details were a little off. 

At one point, Stella finally had enough of the Mountie. "Do you mind?! I
am talking to my exhusband and he of all people should know when he has a
birthday!" 

Fraser was surprised by her outburst and sat back into his seat.  

"Stella." Added Ray, a little annoyed. 

"No. . . . I am sick and tired of that man talking for you, Ray! Every
time I try to talk to you, the man intervenes as if he knows everything
about us! I'm trying to hold a conversation with you but he keeps
interfering!" 

"Stella!" 

"No Ray! I don't even know why you bother to depend on this incompetent
man who doesn't even have a life! The man doesn't even have a place of
work or residence for that matter! If one didn't know any better one would
assume him to be homeless and . . ." 

"Stop it, Stella!" Ray jumped up regardless of the pain but then doubled
over. He straightened up, holding a hand to his aching side and continued.
"You don't even know what yer talking about! I'm tired of you raking yer
goddam nails into him!" 

"Ray." Fraser called to him.  

Barbara turned to her son. "Stanley please . . . you're going to hurt
yourself dear. Just sit down and . . . " 

"No mum! Why can't all of you understand that Fraser is my friend! If it
wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here today!" 

"If it wasn't for him, you wouldn't have been injured, Ray!" snapped
Stella.  

"That's not true Stella! Fraser rescued me! He has always been there for
me! The man is my friend and I'm grateful to him for always being here ta
look after me!" 

"Ray please, there's . . ." 

"No, just hold on a minute, Fraser! . . . He was the one by my side when I
opened my eyes in the hospital, Stella! He graciously volunteered ta stay
with me at the hospital and then at home, so how can you blame him?! How
can you sit there and point fingers when? . . . !" 

"Stanley, dear . . . please! Calm down!" begged his mother. 

Damien just looked on.	

But Ray continued. "Well, I'm tired of all of you trying ta blame Fraser
for my accident! This is some Thanksgiving dinner isn't it?! All of you
should be thankful fer. . . ." 

"Ray." Fraser interrupted. 

"Wha-at! Whadda ya want Fraser!" 

"Could you please pass the gravy?" 

Stella and Ray stared at him with an unbelieving look in their faces. 

Ray held his breath for a second, smiled and then cracked up laughing as
he sat back down and grabbed the gravy dish. "Oh God Fraser! . . Here you
go. Take it all!" 

Stella was furious and stood up. "Okay, I've had more then enough of this!
I'm leaving." 

Ray reached over and grabbed her wrist. "No yer not . . . Don't go,
Stella. Come on . . . my mum went to a lot of trouble to make this dinner.
Please stay." 

She hesitated for a split second then sat back down. "Fine . . . but I'm
only doing this for your mother Ray." 

Barbara smiled then took her seat. 

Ray nodded. "That's fine." He glanced over at the Mountie then reached
under the table and kicked him.  

Fraser smiled and continued with his dinner. Seconds later he stopped
eating and looked over at his partner who was now grinning at him. He
could feel Ray's foot inching up his leg then back down and it shocked
him.  

Ray noticed the look in the Mounties face and cracked up laughing. 

Fraser reached under the table and pushed Ray's foot away while Ray
laughed on. 

Stella turned to him. "What is so funny now Ray?" 

Ray tore his eyes away from his shocked partner and smiled at his exwife.
"I was remembering something funny that happened at the office. Would you
care for more gravy Stella?" 

She frowned and gave him a puzzled look. 

After dinner they all said their goodnights and headed to their cars. 

Stella came over to Ray's car and peered into the window. "Ray? Are you
going to be busy tonight?" 

Fraser, who was in the passenger seat, looked away. 

"Why Stella?" 

"Well . . . I'd like to know if you would like to come over to my place
for some drinks . . . if you're up to it?" 

Fraser cleared his throat and added. "He's taking medication." 

Stella became angry. "I wasn't talking to you? Are you his nurse? So Ray .
. . will you come?" 

Ray smiled. "Sure . . . I'll be over in an hour. See you then." 

Stella smiled, glanced over at the Mountie and sneered at him before
retreating. 

Fraser watched her go wishing that she would fall flat on her face.
Thinking un Mountie like thoughts. 

************************************************** 

Ray drove away then glanced over at the Mountie who was staring at him.
"Yer mad with me right? You think that I shouldn't go?" 

Fraser looked out the side window then up ahead. "It's not a good idea for
you to go, Ray because you don't even know who she is let alone who you
are. . . .But it doesn't matter what I think because you'll do whatever
pleases you anyway." 

"Fraser, how can I say no ta getting laid? As far as I'm concerned I
haven't had sex in what seems a million years since I can't recall the
last time and . . . Hey, why don't ya stay at my place tonight. You can .
. ." 

"No thank you. I have to be up early so if you can drop me off at the
Consulate I'd be grateful." 

"Fraser, don't be angry with me . . . I don't want you to be angry with
me." 

The Mountie looked away. It was hard not to be angry with his partner
after seeing him suffer with his exwife in the past year and now he was
going back for more. 

"Fraser please . . . come on be happy fer me . . . be my friend." 

Fraser looked at him and added. "I am being your friend Ray. What else
could I be?" 

Ray glanced at him then looked away. "I dunno, but you don't sound ta
friendly." 

**************************************************** 

Fraser was in a deep sleep when he thought he heard the phone ringing. He
opened his eyes and glanced over at the clock that was flashing its red
numbers and mumbled. "Three a.m." He answered the telephone. "Hello?" 

"Fraser? . . . Is this you?" 

He could barely make out the voice because it sounded so hoarse and
strained. The Mountie wiped at his eyes. "Ray?" 

"Fraser . . . I'm in trouble." Ray murmured. 

Fraser came awake quickly and sat up when he heard the fear in Ray's
voice. 'Ray? Are you all right?" 

"Well, in a way, yeh . . . Could you . . . if yer not too angry with me
could you come over and get me Fraser?" 

Fraser could barely make out Ray's voice because he sounded so far away,
so distant. He sounded like his mouth was stuffed with cotton. "Come and
get you? You mean from Attorney Kowalski's apartment?" 

"No. . . . we had an argument 'cause I couldn't remember her birthday, or
our wedding day and then she found the picture and . . . "  

Fraser heard a sniffle then Ray's voice again. 

". . .never mind, just come over 'cause . . . 'cause I'm lost, Fraser." 

Fraser barely made out everything that he was saying but was up quickly.
"Lost? What do you mean by lost, Ray? Ray, speak up because I can barely
hear you." 

There was silence on the other end. 

"Ray? . . .Ray, are you there? . . .Ray, you're frightening . . ." 

"I mean, that I don't know where fuck I'm at and I don't even know how to
get home!" The detective was now hysterical. "I know it's sound stupid but
I can't remember where to go or how ta get ta my place! I'm a fucking,
stinking detective right smack in the middle of Chicago and I don't even
know how ta get to my fucking home, Fraser!" 

The fear in his partner's voice and the anger alarmed the Mountie. "Ray,
just calm down and look at your surroundings . . . Just give me a
description of the streets or the stores around you and I'll be right
over. I'll take a cab to come get you, Ray. . . . Ray, did you hear me?" 

There was silence at first and then he heard sniffling. 

"Ray? Are you crying?" 

"Yeh . . . Oh god Fraser, I've never felt so helpless in my entire life! .
.I feel like a fucking idiot! If I wasn't such a coward I'd pull my gun
out and shoot myself!" 

Fraser gasped.	

"I need you, Fraser! . . .I hate being like this! Please! Please, I've
been driving around fer hours and it's so cold and I'm so lost and I'm
sorry if yer pissed at me and . . . and. ." 

"Ray! Ray, just calm down and tell me where to find you . . . I'll be on
my way just as soon as you tell me where to find you. Please Ray!" 

Ray, through his tears, gave him directions as best he could. 

 Fraser dressed quickly then rushed out of the Consulate like a bat out of
hell. 

************************************************** 

Fraser spotted the GTO and told the cab driver to pull over. He paid the
driver then sprinted over to the car where he noticed Ray sitting on the
hood of it. Fraser noticed the snow on his partner's shoulders and cap and
it nearly broke his heart watching him sit there. Fraser could see him
shaking and trembling as he neared.  

As soon as Ray spotted Fraser he hopped off the car and ran over to him
flinging his arms around the Mountie. "Oh God, Fraser! Thank goodness that
you came!" He buried his face into Fraser's chest and let his tears flow
again. 

The sight of Ray crying touched the Mountie deeply and this time he
wrapped his arms around his partner's small trembling body trying to
shield him. "It's okay, Ray. Let's get back into the car so that I can
take you home. Come on because you're trembling so badly." 

But Ray refused to move because now he was afraid to let go. Ray was
afraid to release his friend and the protection and warmness that he
offered. 

"Ray? . . .Ray, everything's going to be fine. Let's go home." 

Ray shook his head and wailed. "No. . . . no, nothing's gonna be fine
Fraser . . . I got lost . . . And I don't even know who the fuck I am!
Only you know who I am." He gazed up at the Mountie and through
tear-stained cheeks he murmured. "You do know who I am, don't you?" 

Fraser gazed into those sad, confused eyes and felt his own tears sting
his eyes. He cupped Ray's face and nodded. "Of course I know who you are,
Ray. And you are going to be fine because I'm going to make sure that you
are. Now come and let me get you home and into some warm clothes." 

Ray nodded and then released the Mountie. "Thanks Fraser . . . yer a great
buddy." 

"So are you, Ray." 

"Fraser?" 

"Yes?" 

Ray reached forward and pressed his lips to the startled Mountie's lips.
He noticed the shocked look on Fraser's face and smiled. "I'm sorry . . .
but when I saw ya . . . I was so happy that I wanted to grab ya and kiss
ya for coming ta my rescue. Don't let my kiss offend ya okay? It's
supposed ta be a compliment."  

Fraser was stunned. He hadn't expected his partner to kiss him. "I. . .
.I. . . you could've just thanked me." 

Ray shivered then turned away and muttered over his shoulder. "I just did
Fraser." And he hurried to the car.  

The kiss really threw him for a curve. Fraser wanted to cry. He didn't
want to accept the fact that he was in love with Ray. He didn't want to
confront what his heart had been nagging at him for a very long time now.
He wanted to bury that feeling way down deep in the recesses of his heart
where he had kept it for so long but now it was too late. Ray had just
unearthed his hidden feelings with just one kiss and Fraser shook his head
sadly feeling sorry for himself.  

Seconds later Ray slipped into the passenger seat and Fraser dropped into
the driver's seat. He could hear Ray's teeth shattering and turned to look
at him. The detective was beautiful. He looked like a bewildered, lost,
schoolboy and he looked beautiful. 

Ray reached over and started fussing with the heater in the car.  

They drove in silence for a while until Ray's teeth stopped with the
clicking noises. Ray turned to his friend and mumbled. "I got lost Fraser
. . . I got upset with her and I stormed off and I got lost. How stupid
can that be? I drove around for two hours looking for my place and I
couldn't find it and I feel so stupid!" 

Fraser shook his head. "Don't Ray . . . you must remember that you had a
severe head injury. You can't blame yourself. It was very dark and the
snow doesn't help much and you were upset." 

"Nah. Fraser . . . How many people do ya know that would get lost in their
own back yard? You can't imagine how scary this is . . . I was so scared
that I was never gonna be able ta find home. . . .Or . . . or find you." 

Fraser glanced over at him as the detective hung his head down sadly. He
wanted to reach over and touch his partner and tell him that everything
would be fine. He wanted to wrap his arms around Ray and protect him from
every thing and everyone. Protect him, especially from his exwife. 

"Fraser?" 

"Yes Ray?" 

"I thought that maybe you'd still be pissed at me for going off with
Stella and not . . . not come fer me and I got scared . . . that's why I
drove around for hours trying ta decide if I should call ya or not . . . I
thought that you . . . that you hated me." 

Fraser turned to look at his partner. "Ray! I could never hate you! How
could you think that I would hate you after what we've been through? Oh
Ray . . . I will always be here for you." 

Ray turned away as the tears stung his eyes again. He didn't want Fraser
to see him crying. 

But Fraser didn't have to see the tears. He could hear the muffled sobs
and the ragged breathing and his heart ached.  

************************************************ 

Fraser followed Ray up the stairs and into his apartment. He made sure
that the detective took a warm shower so that he wouldn't get sick and
maybe the shower would also rid him of the chills and shivering. The
Mountie fixed some hot coffee while his partner showered and then waited
on the bed with a cup in hand for Ray.	

Ray stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in two large towels and his skin
was as red as a lobster. Judging by the steam escaping the bathroom and
the dark red skin Fraser knew that Ray had taken a really hot shower. 

Fraser offered him the coffee. 

Ray smiled and took the cup in both hands. 

Fraser then got busy preparing Ray's bed, pulling back the sheets so that
the detective could climb in. 

Ray took a sip of the coffee and watched as Fraser took it from him and
pointed to the bed. "Go on and get into the bed and I'll hold your
coffee." 

Ray nodded then dropped the towels and smiled.	

Fraser's eyes were drawn to the white boxers that Ray wore with the red
lip designs all over them.  

He then raised an eyebrow as he looked at the detective. 

Ray flicked a hand and smiled. "Just don't ask 'cause I don't even
remember where they came from. They must've been a present or something."
He climbed into the bed and covered up then he looked over at the Mountie.
"Hey . . . I'm sorry about the whole thing. . . . 'Cause now I feel so
stupid." 

Fraser sat by him and handed him the coffee. He looked up at the wild,
untamed spikes and wanted to reach over and brush them down. Then he
caught those pale blues staring at him and he shook his head."You are not
stupid Ray. It's perfectly understandable that you got lost because you
were upset. You're still trembling? . . .Drink the coffee." 

Ray couldn't stop his body from shivering. He tried to sip the hot coffee
and nearly spilled it. 

Fraser took it from him. "Let it cool down some so you can drink it . . .
Do you want me to get you another blanket?" 

"No, I want you to get me warmed up! It's so cold in here!" 

Fraser nodded. "Well, let me see what I can do." He tucked the blankets in
all around his partner but he could still feel the bed shaking as Ray
trembled. So he decided to use a different approach. He pulled his boots
off followed by the sweater and slipped under the covers.  

Ray was watching his partner undress, confused with what he was doing
until Fraser was scooting up to him. 

Fraser stopped and looked up at his partner. "Ray? Would it be permissible
to touch you?" 

Ray was shivering and nodded. "Yeh . . . I guess so. I mean if you want
ta." 

Fraser pushed the sheets away and closed the distance between them. He
snaked an arm around his partner's waist and pulled him in. 

"Fraser?! Are you gonna . . . what are you doing?" 

"I've found that body heat works better then blankets or your electric
heater so just lay down and relax, Ray." 

Ray nodded then backed up into his partner's warm body. He felt Fraser
envelope him in his arms and the relief was instantaneous. Fraser's body
was warm and soft in a different sort of way and his arms were a nice
safeguard. 

"Thanks Fraser. This sure is warm." 

"You're welcome Ray." 

"Fraser . . . Can I tell ya something? . . .There's something that ya need
ta know." 

Fraser pressed his face into his partner's soft hair and whispered. "And
what is that?" 

"I need ta tell you what happened tonight . . . about what happened
between Stella and me." 

"Uh . . . no Ray . . . I'd rather you not tell me if you don't mind." 

Ray reached over and grabbed the hand that had made its way to his upper
arm and pulled it around his waist holding his partner securely. "But I
hafta tell you 'cause it's important. I went out with Stella this evening
because she looked like she'd be an . . . an easy lay. I mean, if I was
married ta her in the past then one would assume that we slept together at
some point, only I don't remember it. Anyway . . . I thought it wouldn't
hurt ta go ta her place even though I didn't even know who she was and. .
. ." 

"Ray." 

"No wait. Lemme explain this please. We were in bed and . . . " 

Fraser pulled away from him. "Ray. I do not want to hear about you and
your exwife please! You don't seem to understand how I feel about her. I..
. . I cannot stand the woman. There, now you know." 

Ray gazed into those angry blues and nodded. "Fraser . . . I know that ya
hate her and that's all-right cause I'm not saying you can't. . . . Please
lay back down. I wanna tell you what happened . . . please." 

Fraser stared at him then laid back.  

Ray noticed that Fraser didn't want to touch him any more and it
disappointed him. He took a deep breath and continued. "Anyway . . . we
were about to have sex when. . . ." 

"Ray!" Fraser was up again but this time he was off the bed and grabbing
his sweater. 

Ray jumped out of the bed and snatched the sweater away from him. "No! I
wanna explain something ta ya and I need fer ya ta listen to me 'cause
it's important! Okay . . . I'll skip the details but I need for ya to hear
me out, Benton! Please get inta the bed . . . You don't hafta be near me
if you don't wanna but at least hear what I hafta say! . . .I'm cold and .
. . please, Benton!" 

Fraser was glaring at him now. He was angry and he was hurt. 

Ray was shivering again but he wouldn't lie down. "Fraser, please! Stella
and I didn't have sex because we got into a fight! And if we had I
wouldn't hurt ya by telling ya the details! Now, please listen to me.
Cause I gotta tell you this!" 

Fraser breathed deeply then sat on the bed because he couldn't stand
watching Ray shivering. He raised the covers for his partner to get in. 

Ray slipped under the covers then waited for Fraser to join him. 

The Mountie slipped under the covers also but kept his distance.  

Ray understood that Fraser was angry so he didn't bother touching him.
"Okay . . . Now hear me out and please don't jump again. Stella and I were
pretty intimate when she told me that the two of you had a fight the day
that you left my apartment. Can you imagine that? We were right smack in
the middle of foreplay and we almost . . . anyway, she blurts out that she
got into a fight with you about my accident. She informed me, and happily
I might add, that both of you had it out in the parking lot and that she
told you that she held you responsible for the accident. Then she went as
far as ta tell me that she convinced my mum to keep you away from the
dinner. Now . . . what I wanna know is how come you didn't tell me about
the fight? You just walked out on me and you didn't tell me that she ran
you away." Ray was up on his elbow and glaring down at the Mountie. 

Fraser looked at him then up at the ceiling. "I didn't tell you because it
was irrelevant to your recovery Ray." 

"Fraser! . . .Look at me! . . .Thank you . . . Okay so you couldn't tell
me that she ran you outta my place? I asked ya to stay . . . I wanted ya
to stay and . . . " 

"You also asked her to come around and you were doing much better Ray so I
thought it was time for me to leave anyway. I had already decided to leave
before she came and argued with me." 

"Oh really? Okay, then why didn't you tell me that she slapped you? . .
.You two were arguing and then she tells me that she slapped ya? She said
she slapped ya cause you called her wench? What the hell is a wench?" 

"No, Ray . . . that was not why she slapped me . . . She became enraged
when I told her that I would do everything in my power to keep her from
hurting you again. It infuriated her when I said that I would always be
there to help and protect you even if she came back into your life. The
only reason that I referred to her as a wench was because she called me a
. . . a. . . . " 

"She called ya what, Fraser?" 

Fraser cleared his throat and blushed but did not look up at his partner
when he said. "She called me a whore, Ray. So I told her that I was not
the wench that she was and then she slapped me." 

Ray stared at the Mountie who refused to look him in the eye. Fraser
looked flustered, shamed and felt pretty much abashed. Ray felt for him.
He didn't know what kind of exwife he had but she didn't seem too friendly
concerning his best friend. "Fraser . . . yer not a whore so don't you
believe it fer a minute. I think I know you well enough ta say that . . .
you should've told me about the argument . . . I needed ya here and I
didn't understand why you left me . . . you could've saved us both a lot
of grief. I almost slept with her . . . but . . . you should've told me." 

Fraser glanced over at the blond-haired detective and whispered. "I'm
sorry Ray . . . I didn't mean to come between you and your exwife and . .
. thank you for saying that I'm not . . . that I'm not like that." 

Ray frowned. "Didn't you hear what I just said? You didn't come between
anything! You of all people should know that there's nothing between this
woman and me. But you should've come to me about the argument . . . I
don't remember what kind of relationship you and I had but I'd hope we
were friends enough ta talk things out. . . .Aren't we?" 

Fraser nodded. "Yes, we are good friends, Ray." 

Ray reached out and cupped the Mountie's chin and lifted until dark blues
met light blues. Then he added. ""Thank you, Fraser. Thank you for being
here for me . . . But there's more ta this story . . .	

Lemme tell you what pissed her off the most. Yer gonna get a laugh out of
this one." Ray released his chin. "She found a photo in my wallet. It's a
photo of you sitting on the edge of my desk. You wanna know how she found
it? We were arguing and I was putting my pants back on when I asked her to
throw my wallet over ta me. The wallet was on her night stand beside her.
She picked up the wallet and was getting ready to fling it at me when it
fell open and guess whose photo just happened to jump out? It was you
dressed in yer serge and smiling happily at the camera. Then you know what
she did? She had the audacity ta pull the photo out of its sleeve because
she was gonna tear it up until she saw the inscription on the back." 

"Where did you get the photo and what did it say?" 

"I didn't know where I got it from. I mean that I didn't remember until
later when I read the back." 

"What did it say?" 

"Hold on a minute and I'll show it ta ya then you can reach yer own
conclusions" Ray fumbled through his wallet then removed the photo. "Here
you go, now read it." 

Fraser took the photo of himself from Ray then flipped it over to read the
back. "My dear most wonderful, lover!" he raised an eyebrow at his partner
and then continued. "Keep this photo next to your heart where I belong.
Working companion by day but lover by night is the only reason I live for
. . . I'll love only you forever! Love . . . Constable Benton Fraser . . .
RCMP." 

Fraser's eyes widened as he observed his partner. "Ray? I never wrote this
and I never gave you this photo but that is my signature on the bottom . .
. Where did you get this?" 

Ray smiled as he gazed into those bewildered blues. "Well, that's what
makes it so funny 'cause Stella assumed that you gave it ta me. Later
after I left Stella's apartment, I remembered that I found it on Frannie's
desk. She probably took yer picture when you weren't looking then made you
sign it and then scribbled in the rest of the mushy stuff for herself. I
remember taking it from her to play a joke on her and then I must've
forgotten to return it. I also remember sticking the photo inta my wallet,
right before the accident. But don't you see? I remember snatching the
photo and sticking it in my wallet! I'm getting some of my memory back
Fraser!" 

"Yes, and that's a very good sign Ray but . . . But, now Attorney Kowalski
believes that you and I . . . Oh dear." 

"Yeh . . . she thinks that yer my lover . . . and boy you should've heard
her yelling after she read it! I had a hell of a time trying to get it
back before she could destroy it." 

"Oh dear, but I am so sorry about all that." 

"Hey, don't be sorry 'cause it's not yer fault. I'm the one who stuck the
photo inta my wallet . . . But what I'm trying ta get at is that the
reason I got disoriented Fraser was because I was angry when I found out
that she kicked ya out of my apartment and slapped ya to add insult ta
injury! Of course, finding this picture in my wallet and reading the back
of it blew me outta the water too. I didn't know if we were lovers' or not
'cause you never told me. I drove around in circles trying ta figure out
if we were an item and if that's why Stella hated ya until it finally came
ta me." 

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about the argument because it seemed
irrelevant at the time. Had I known that it would've caused you this much
distress then I would've opted to do it differently." 

"I don't blame ya for anything, Fraser . . . I just wish you could've told
me what was going on and not just walked out on me the way you did. Okay,
let's get all over that . . . Now . . . to the business at hand . . .
since we're lovers can I have sex?" 

Fraser frowned at his partner. "Ray, that's not funny." 

Ray stared at his partner then added. "But I'm not trying to be funny. You
see, I've learned a whole lot about you and me in the past few hours and I
realized that I need you in more ways then just to be my friend, Benton." 

Fraser gazed into those blues and realized that the detective was being
serious. "You want to have . . . to be intimate with me?" 

'And why not? . . .Is there a problem with you and me being intimate? I
really do need you, Benton." 

Fraser sat up. "Well needing me isn't a very convincing reason for us to
be intimate, Ray. You were just rejected by your exwife, you have memory
loss and you're in, shall we say, dire need of sex so you turn to me? I'm
sorry but I have to say no, Ray." 

"Or is it because ya don't find me attractive?" 

Fraser gazed into those pale blues that were studying him and added. "I've
already told you once before that I found you attractive." 

Ray scooted up a little. "You did? And what did I say?" 

Fraser stared into those expectant blues and continued. "Well . . . if
memory serves me correct, you didn't believe me." 

"Why not? Oh, don't tell me that you said it while we were in the middle
of sex? I bet we were pumping and grinding and then you. . . ." 

"Ray! You and I have never had sex!" Fraser blushed a deep crimson red. 

"We haven't? . . . hm-m-m . . . What a pity cause you have such a great
body. So why did you tell me that you found me attractive and then you
don't sleep with me? Do I turn you off?" 

"Ray, this conversation is getting bizarre and maybe we should venture
back to the topic at hand. We were discussing you and your exwife and . .
. " 

"We were discussing her, Fraser . . . that's the key word, *were. * Now
we're discussing you and me. So now answer the question, do I turn you
off, and be brutally honest here!" 

Fraser gazed into those blues that stared deep into his. He understood
that Ray was serious and demanded an answer. "No, Ray, you do not turn me
off, as you say. But the fact remains that you have amnesia and when you
come to, then you are going to regret this entire conversation with me.
Now, could we move this to safer ground and talk about something else?" 

"Yes, Fraser, we could do that . . . or we could do this too." Ray pitched
forward and grabbed the Mountie's hand and placed it on his stiff
erection. 

Fraser gasped and pulled his hand back immediately. "RAY!" 

"Oh come on Fraser . . . you know ya wanna do this just as much as I do.
You said that you found me attractive and I find you extremely attractive
so what's the problem here?" 

Fraser was shocked. His heart was hammering in his chest after realizing
just how serious his partner was about having sex with him. "Ray, we
cannot do this. You don't even know who you are! What if you come to and
realize what you did and then you'd hate yourself for it! I cannot
participate in this Ray. Not as long as you are not in your right senses."


Ray smiled. "Aha, so you do wanna do it but not till I become the other
Ray! Aw, come on Fraser, I won't regret this. I may not know who I was but
I do know that I'm attracted to you and that I wanna have sex with you. I
know that I want you." 

Now Fraser shook his head. "You don't know what you want. Hours earlier
you wanted Attorney Kowalski and now . . . no Ray . . . You're not sure
about yourself or me and I refuse to be the second choice. The answer is
still no. You're still not thinking straight." 

Ray gazed into those dark blues for a few seconds and then dropped back
into the pillow. Staring up at the ceiling he allowed Fraser's words to
sink into him and then he mumbled. "That's a low blow Fraser . . . You
really believe that I'm not thinking straight? You can't assume for a
minute that I could possibly be in love with you? Well, I can, Fraser . .
. Maybe the other Ray didn't love you and he was an idiot not to, but I
do." He turned to face the Mountie. "You wanna know when I found out that
I had fallen in love with you? When I was lost and alone and cold then I
realized that I was in love with you. I sat in my car and cried my eyes
out because I was scared but I knew, somehow deep in my heart, I knew that
if I called for you, you'd come. No matter had I slept with Stella, or
with any other person for that matter, you'd still come for me. Down in my
heart I know that you love me too, only you won't accept it or tell me.
But that's okay . . . I can deal with that." Ray stared into those blues
that were staring down at him and nodded to himself. "Yes, I do know that
you love me 'cause I can see it in yer eyes." He reached up and cupped the
Mountie's cheek. "Fraser, there's one thing that I'm very thankful fer on
this Thanksgiving day and that is that I got you for a friend. Yer a
wonderful man and I'm a very lucky man ta have a piece of ya. Maybe when I
come ta my senses, you can tell me that you love me too. I'll let ya think
about it okay? But I want ya to know that you would never be a second
choice, ta me . . . Never . . . Now, as horny as I claim ta be . . . I'm
also tired and drained. I've had a long exhausting day and I'm gonna get
some rest, okay?" Ray reached up and brushed his lips against Fraser's
offering a brief kiss. He then turned around and covered himself. 

Fraser stared at him. He watched the back of Ray's head for a while and
knew that what Ray had said was all true. He was in love with the
detective and he now knew that Ray was in love with him. Well, he at least
knew that this Ray was in love with him but what about the other one?
Everything was so confusing and so entangled so he decided to leave it
alone for now. He could barely hear Ray's breathing and knew that the man
was asleep already. Ray had exhausted himself and now he slept peacefully.
Fraser reached forward and took him in his arms gently so as not to wake
him. He then kissed Ray's warm shoulder and whispered. "I'm thankful that
I have you in my life too, Ray. I'm even more thankful that you love me."
He then laid down to sleep. 

************************************************************ 

Fraser was on his way out the door early morning hurrying to get to work.
He stopped momentarily in the hallway when he bumped into Mrs. Kowalski
coming up the stairs.  

"Constable Fraser! Where are you headed too so early in the morning?"
Barbara smiled. 

"Good morning Mrs. Kowalski. I was just headed off to work. If you're
looking for Ray, he's still asleep." 

"That's all right. I was just bringing him some Thanksgiving leftovers.
Could I give you a ride to work?" 

"Uh, no ma'am. It's quite all right. The walk over . . ." 

"It's no problem and it's on the way to my house. Besides, there's
something that we need to discuss Constable Fraser. I would like to have a
word with you if you don't mind." 

Fraser smiled then nodded. "Yes, of course. Let me help with that." Fraser
took the tin foiled plates from her then both headed back into Ray's
apartment. She placed the leftovers in the refrigerator then checked on
her son quickly before they both left. 

*********************************************************************** 

Once they were in her car she headed to the Consulate.	

"Constable Fraser, Stella told me about the argument that she and Stanley
had last night. She told me that Stanley stormed out of her house and that
she was somewhat concerned about his state of mind. She was concerned that
Stanley seemed to be experiencing some form of memory lapses. Have you
noticed anything strange about him lately?" 

Fraser didn't want to lie to her but he had also made a promise to Ray
that he would not tell anyone of his condition. "Memory lapses? You must
remember that he suffered that concussion, Mrs. Kowalski. I think that
maybe he is suffering from stress due to the surgery and of course the
fact that he might be frustrated about not being able to return to work
just yet." 

"Yes . . . you could be right about that. But it worries me. Why hasn't he
returned to his job yet?" 

Fraser glanced over at her then back down to the Stetson on his laps.
"Well, the doctor feels that he needs more time to recover from the
surgery. He could return and be placed on desk duty but you know that his
heart isn't in paper work so he decided to wait until he can return to the
streets."  

She glanced at him then nodded. "Yes, I think that you're right . . .
Constable . . . there's one more thing I want to ask you. Stella told me
about a certain photo that she found in Stanley's wallet. She said that
you and Stanley were . . . involved. She said that the two of you are in a
. . . a relationship?" 

Fraser did not even look at her this time. He sat there and blushed while
he fussed with the brim of his hat. He licked his lips then looked out the
passengers' window and cleared his throat thinking of what to say. He then
glanced at her as she waited patiently and he mumbled. "No ma'am. Ray and
I are not romantically involved." 

She glanced over his way and nodded. "I see . . . Well. I'm sorry to have
embarrassed you. But there's something that I have to say also. Just by
looking at you I can tell that you have strong feelings for my son . . .
Am I correct in saying this?" 

Fraser felt the heat rising up into his face. He tugged at the hem of his
tunic's neckline then ran a knuckle across his brow and mumbled. "I uh . .
. care for Ray very much yes . . . we discussed . . . that is, Ray said
that he was . . . Yes, Mrs. Kowalski, I am very much in love with your
son." 

She did not say anything at first. She nodded then thought for a minute
before adding. "And how does Stanley feel about you?" 

Fraser could not stand the sudden warmth in his face nor could he stand
the shortness of breath he was experiencing all of a sudden. He pulled at
the velcro and the loud *ri-ip* made Mrs. Kowalski turn to look at him.  

Fraser pursed his lips and then he rambled on. "I'm sorry . . . last night
Ray told me that . . . he told me that he was in love with me . . . But we
didn't . . . we haven't been intimate because I turned him down and . . .
I mean . . . oh dear, I didn't mean it that way. I'm not ready to . . . he
needs to resolve matters with Attorney Kowalski before we can. . . . " 

Barbara reached over and patted his shoulder. "It's okay. Calm down
Constable Fraser because I'm not trying to judge you. I just want to know
what is going on with my son. So what your saying is that you're in love
with him and Ray might be in love with you but he's not sure?" 

"No, Mrs. Kowalski. Last night Ray told me that he was in love with me and
I believed him. Did, he. . .did he. . .say the same thing to Attorney
Kowalski?" 

Barbara shook her head. "No. . . . but she did mention something about the
fact that they were in bed together when the argument started so . . .
what is Stanley doing?" 

Fraser nodded. "Yes . . . Ray told me about that. But according to Ray
they didn't do much of anything but argue . . . Unless she had a different
story?" 

"No, that's pretty much what she told me. Forgive me for asking this but
did you two have a quarrel and then did Stanley take Stella out to make
you jealous?" 

Fraser was stunned. "Oh dear. No, that was not the case. He went out with
her hoping to. . . .Well, he still hoped for a reconciliation and then he
had an argument with her and came home." 

"To you?" 

"Well no. I was at the Consulate when he called for me." 

"So he was rejected by Stella once again and then he went looking for you?
Pardon me for asking this Constable Fraser but did Stanley intend to spend
the night with you after he left Stella's? You were leaving his apartment
very early this morning." 

Fraser looked at her then added. "By spending the night are you referring
to my sleeping over at his apartment?" 

She gave him a side glance and shook her head. 

Fraser blushed and muttered. "Oh! . . .No ma'am. It was nothing like that,
I can assure you that was not the case. Ray would never take advantage of
a situation like that. He had a minor set back with his injuries so he
called me to come over and assist him. We talked and later on he confessed
his feelings to me. I don't think he meant to exploit me after. . . . I
think he went out with Attorney Kowalski hoping to, pardon me, engage in
intercourse with her, and then an argument ensued. And yes, he did call me
after the argument and I did spend the night with him but there was no
ulterior motive involved. In fact, Ray and I have not been . . . been
intimate if that is what is concerning you." 

Barbara glanced at the chagrined Mountie realizing that it took a lot of
courage for him to pour his heart out and she smiled at him. She reached
over and patted his shoulder again. "Constable, I love my son very much
but a word of warning. Do not let the man use you in any way. Do you hear
me? I have a mother's * feeling * that my son has serious affections for
you but if I were you, I would want to make sure that he is over Stella. I
am almost convinced that he does not love her any more even though he says
that he does most times. But, lately I've noticed how attached he has
become to you. He seems to be quite taken by you. Just be careful because
I would hate to see you hurt in all of this." 

Fraser smiled and nodded. "Do not worry about me ma'am. I can assure you
that I am being careful." 

Barbara pulled up by the Consulate then watched as the Mountie stepped out
of the car then headed up the Consulate stairs. She pulled away and
mumbled to herself. "Stanley Raymond Kowalski. What is it that you are
doing?" 

********************************************************* 

The first thing that Ray noticed when he woke up was the note pinned to
the pillow where Fraser had slept. He picked it up and read it. "Dear Ray,
I didn't want to wake you. I should be at the Consulate by the time you
awaken. I'll stop by later in the evening. Should you be concerned of my
whereabouts just call me at the Consulate. I made you some fresh coffee.
Have a nice day, Ray. Sincerely Benton Fraser." Ray smiled then noticed
some scribble further down. "P.S. I am still evaluating last night's
discussion. . . . Benton Fraser." Ray fell back into his pillow and
reached over for his wallet. Pulling out the photograph Ray gazed at the
happy Mountie in it. "You can evaluate all you want, handsome Mountie
'cause I still want ya . . . I don't know what was wrong with the other
Ray but this one happens ta be head over heels in love with ya. Come to
think of it. . . .I'm gonna go and hunt that Ray down and kick him in the
head! Hmmm, now why does that sound so familiar somehow?!" He was getting
out of bed when he heard the knocking at the front door. He slipped into
some jeans then hurried over. "Mum! Whadda ya doing here so early in the
morning?" 

"Hello sweetheart. Did you sleep well?" 

"Aw man, I bet ya Stella called you right? That's why yer here so early.
Am I right?" 

"Well, yes and no. . . . I brought you some Thanksgiving leftovers and . .
. " 

"And where are the leftovers? I don't see any plates in yer hands unless
you left them in the car. I'm very observant about these things, mum." 

"Stanley. I already placed the leftovers in your refrigerator earlier
while you were asleep dear. Are you inviting me in or not?" she went past
him and into the kitchen.  

Ray followed her quickly. "You came by earlier? At what time did you come
by?" 

Mrs. Kowalski prepared two mugs of coffee. "You made some fresh coffee?
How nice. I stopped by early this morning when you were still in bed." 

Ray panicked. "Oh? . . so that uh, that means that you were in my . . .
you went inta my bedroom?" 

She sat on one of the bar stools and patted the one beside her. "Have a
seat dear. Yes, I went to your bedroom but you were sound asleep." 

Ray plodded down beside her. "Was I. . . .When you came in was I . . .
,was there anyone with me?" 

"With you?" Barbara pretended to think about the question as she wrinkled
her nose then added. "Well, now that you mention it, yes. The Constable
was here with you." 

"Oh Boy . . . Well, give me a chance ta explain mum before you go and jump
inta any conclusions! The only reason Fraser was in bed with me was cause
I was feeling sick last night after arguing with Stella. I asked him ta
spend the night just in case I needed ta go ta the hospital and I told him
ta sleep on the bed with me cause the couch is kinda lumpy. Regardless of
what Stella told ya, Fraser was here only because he was concerned. And if
I was wrapped around him it was only cause I was cold . . . I get cold
very easily and he has a warm body and . . . " 

"Stanley . . . I didn't see Constable Fraser on your bed. He was on his
way to work when I arrived and I gave him a ride." 

"Oh." 

"But now that you brought it up. I want you to explain to me what you
think you are doing with Stella and Constable Fraser? Stella told me about
the argument and about the photo and her suspicions about you and
Constable Fraser. I must say that I am concerned about what you are doing
Stanley. She said that you were acting very peculiar." 

"I knew that she was gonna go and tell you her side of the story! Well,
she doesn't know what she's talking about mum. The photo isn't even mine!
It belongs to Frannie who works with us at the precinct. Stella got some
stupid ideas into her head and started gripping about Fraser. You know she
doesn't like him and anyway . . . " 

"Stanley, wait. Wait and hold on a minute. Constable Fraser and I had a
long discussion as I drove him to work earlier this morning. He told me
that you confessed to him last night about being in love with him and . .
. " 

"Wha-at?! He told you that?! How could he tell you?! Yer my mum! What was
he think . . . " 

"Stanley please calm down! It's all right. He also told me that he is in
love with you and . . . " 

Ray jumped. "Hold on! Hold on a minute mum! Fraser said what?! Did you
hear him say that?! Did you really hear him say that he was in love with
me?!" Ray was gripping her hands hard and holding his breath. 

"Yes Stanley. Now release my hands before you cut off my circulation
dear." 

"Oh, sorry mum. Tell me what Fraser said!" 

"Well, he was very apologetic and shy and he blushed when he said
something like, yes Mrs. Kowalski, I am very much in love with your son .
. . or something like that and . . . " 

Ray jumped up off the stool. "YES! YES! YES! I knew it! I knew it! I knew
he would break down! . . .This is great! This is greatness! . . . Okay,
what do we do now, Ray? How can I . . . Okay, listen mum?! . . I hafta go
out and take care of some stuff. We'll talk later okay?. . .I'll explain
it all ta ya later, okay?" 

Ray tugged at her leading her to the front door.  

"But Stanley . . . I don't like how you are seeing both Stella and
Constable . . ." 

"Don't worry about a thing mum. I'm not two-timing anybody. I'll explain
it to you just as soon as I can! Bye mum!" Ray kissed her forehead then
closed the door behind her. "Okay, first things first Stanley Ray
Kowalski! I'm gonna call Welsh and see if he can drive me around the city.
I'm a good detective so it shouldn't be too hard ta track my memory down!
Well, at least Fraser says that I'm a good detective and he should know. .
. . Okay, Fraser buddy I'm gonna go and prove ta ya that the other Ray
loves ya too! And if he doesn't well then I'll kick him in the head!" He
made a dash for his cell phone. 

************************************************************************ 

"Does anything seem familiar to you now, Detective?" 

Ray slumped further into the seat in Welsh's car. He shook his head sadly
and then looked down at his hands before mumbling. "No." 

Welsh reached over and patted his shoulder. "It's okay. We'll keep driving
until something looks familiar to you. We have all day now that you
convinced me to be here." 

Ray nodded then mumbled. "Yeh . . . but I want to get well now! I wanna
know who I am now before it's too late . . . Fraser doesn't believe that .
. . I need ta know now, Lieutenant." 

Welsh noticed the discouraged look on the detective's face then started up
the car. "Well, you're a good detective and I have confidence in you so
we'll find you in no time. Now let's move on." 

*********************************************************************** 

Fraser was a little anxious because he had been calling Ray's apartment
all day long and no one had answered. He had even tried Ray's parents home
and no answered there either. He stared at the phone and mumbled. "Just
relax Fraser. Ray is all right. He does all right during the day because
he can call the Leuftenant if he gets lost during the day. There is no
need to panic. Wait a minute! I'll call the Leuftenant. He should know
where Ray is!" Fraser dialed the precinct and was relieved that Francesca
hadn't answered. "Hello, this is Constable Fraser and I am trying to
locate the Leuftenant. Could you please connect me to his office?"  

"I'm sorry but the Lieutenant will not be coming in today. He had a
doctor's appointment. Could I connect you to the? . . ." 

"No. . . . no, thank you kindly. Goodbye now . . . Okay Fraser, now you
should worry." 

Fraser thought about who to call next. He picked up the receiver and
dialed then hung up quickly. He shook his head then dialed again. The
phone rang three times and he almost hung up when someone answered.  

"Hello. You have reached the offices of Attorney Kowalski and Attorney
Samuels. How can I direct your call?" 

Fraser hesitated for a few seconds.  

"Hello?" 

"Uh . . . I'm sorry. I am attempting to locate Attorney Kowalski. Would
she be in by any chance?" 

"Could I ask who is calling please?" 

"It's Constable Benton Fraser and . . . " but there was a click and then
another line was picked up.  

"What do you want Constable Fraser, I'm very busy."  

Fraser recognized Stella's voice immediately and she didn't sound very
happy to hear his voice. "I'm sorry to bother you but Ray was supposed to
be heading over to your office earlier and I wondered if he had arrived
already." Fraser lied and it had been very difficult for him to do so but
he was really concerned for Ray's safety. 

"And why are you bothering me with this? Are you checking up on him is
that why you're calling me? Well the man's not here but now that I have
you on the line I would like to clear up something between you and me. I
want you to know that what you are doing is despicable! You may be gay
Constable but Ray is not! I don't know what you did to him or what you
told him but I want you to know that you are ruining a very decent man!
And if you continue with this obsession of yours, you are going to ruin
not only his career but his life! I don't know what kind of customs you
practice up there wherever you came from but Ray was perfectly fine until
you came into his life! And if you were any kind of decent man as you
claim to be then you would put your pants back on and leave them on!" she
snarled at him. 

Fraser was appalled. Not only was he worried about Ray, he was tired and
frustrated. He took a deep breath then grumbled. "Attorney Kowalski, had
you been any kind of suitable wife to Ray then he would still be there
with you. And as for my pants, you are misguided because they have not
come off to Ray . . . At least not at the present moment and furthermore .
. . !" He heard a click on the line, followed by a buzz and he realized
that she had hung up on him. "Oh Dear . . . well that didn't solve
anything and I still don't know where Ray is."	

****************************************************** 

Ray was furious as he held the off button to Stella's phone cutting Fraser
off. She had been facing out the window when he had entered her office and
she never even heard him enter. She whipped around quickly and was now
looking up into those fiery, angry blues. "Well, hello Ray . . . are we
going to argue just like the good old times?" 

And those good old times just happened to crash back into his head at this
very moment. Ray shut his eyes tight and grit his teeth at the onslaught
of memories. His head felt as if a hurricane was brewing inside of him and
he was suddenly drowning in memories of both good and bad times. It was
like being struck by an avalanche of information all at once.  

"What's the matter Ray? Fraser's got your tongue?" 

Ray opened his eyes and glared at her. He removed his hand from the phone
and took the seat across from her desk. "What are you doing Stella? Why
are you doing this to Fraser? You know you don't want me and if I recall
you stopped wanting me many years ago. Don't you remember that we stopped
caring about each other years back? You said you hated me and I said I
hated you and we went our separate ways. Only I didn't hate you . . . My
problem was that I couldn't stop loving you. I tried . . . good lord but I
tried hard ta stop loving you but it was difficult. A funny thing is that
I still care about ya even after all this time . . . Or maybe it's just
the sex, Stell? It's still good ya know, whenever you lemme have it. When
was the last time? Do you remember? I do. . . but then again, stupid Ray
Kowalski always remembers idiotic things like the last time he had sex
with his ex wife. It was a year ago ta be exact and it was great Stella.
Fact is the sex was always great and. . . ." 

"Is that why you're having sex with Fraser now, Ray? Because sex is always
great, no matter where you can get it from? Were you that desperate and
lonely that you had to go and find someone naive and just as desperate to
have sex with you?!" 

Ray flicked an eyebrow at her then he chuckled and shook his head. "Is
that what you think? You think I'm having sex with Fraser? Now that's the
funniest thing I've ever heard Stell cause you know what? I haven't even
done anything with him . . . well, at least not yet Stell. But don't get
me wrong 'cause it's not like I didn't try. Only he turned me down. He
said he couldn't do it because of you. He was afraid that I still loved
you and he would come second . . . can you imagine that? The Mountie has
smarts' Stell so you can't call someone that turns you away, desperate or
naive. But you know what I like about him? The Mountie's got a huge heart
. . . a wonderfully, and huge heart and you know what? I just found out
that Fraser's heart has my name engraved on it. You can't believe how
remarkable this man is Stella only you wouldn't know cause yer ta wrapped
up in yer hate ta notice." 

"You're talking crazy Ray. Maybe that bump on your head did more damage to
you then you realize. We're talking about Fraser. Big, Mountie, naive
Fraser! The man couldn't even find the word love in the dictionary even if
you led him to it, Ray." 

Ray leered at her then shook his head. "The man's got more love on the tip
of his pinky then you will ever have in your whole heart Stell. Why do you
hate him so much? Why does he intimidate you?" 

Stella sat back into her chair and grinned. "The man doesn't intimidate
me, Ray. He infuriates me. He is making a big fool out of you and you're
allowing it. That's what angers me the most. The way he strings you along
like a puppet, his puppet. You used to be your own man, Ray . . . whatever
happened? Wake up and stop being so desperate and needy for love and get a
real life." 

Ray watched her. He then shook his head and stood. "Look, it was great
having this chat with ya but I do have another life, a real life ta take
care of. I gotta go and convince a certain Mountie that loving and
sleeping with a puppet ain't as bad as it looks. Didn't work out with you
but being the fool that I am, I gotta keep trying right? And I'm being
very thankful that I have him. Later Stell." 

Ray strolled away and stopped when Stella called after him. "You're a
bigger fool then I thought." 

Ray turned to face her and smiled. "Maybe I am. But I'm a fool who's gonna
get laid tonight by someone who loves me and that can't be all bad." 

Stella grimaced then shook her head. "You're getting yourself way over
your head Ray. This is a dangerous game that you're playing." 

Ray smiled. "Love is always a dangerous game Stell. But he's worth the
risk. Bye now." And he strolled away. 

**************************************************************************
*** 

Fraser was frantic. He left work two hours early and hurried to the places
where he thought that Ray might have wondered to. He even went back to the
accident scene but didn't find him there. The two hours had come and gone
and he still couldn't find his partner. So now he rushed back to Ray's
apartment hoping that maybe the detective had returned. He fumbled with
the key Ray had given him and finally unlocked the front door. Rushing in
he called out to his partner. "Ray?! . . .Ray, are you here?! . . .RAY?!"
he hurried to the bedroom and it was empty. He rushed to the bathroom and
knocked. "RAY?! Are you in there?" He swung open the door and it was
empty. He turned to rush out and bumped right smack into Ray who caught
him in both arms. "Whoa! You almost knocked me over Fraser!" 

"Oh Ray, Thank God!" Fraser wrapped his arms around his partner holding
him tight to his body.	

Ray wrapped his arms around the Mountie in return and smiled. "Hey . . . I
like these kinds of greetings! I missed you too." 

Fraser held him tight, panting as his heart thundered, so afraid to let
him go. Burying his face into the detective's hair, he whispered. "Oh Ray,
I was so worried! I was so scared for you! I called your apartment all day
and you weren't there! I called the Leuftenant and he wasn't in the office
either! I called all around and . . . " 

"Sh-h-h-h-h. I'm okay." Ray murmured caressing the back of Fraser's neck.
He could feel his partner's heart thumping between their bodies and the
Mountie was shaking slightly. "I'm okay, Ben . . . I wasn't lost this
time. I just had things ta do. Jesus Fraser, yer shaking." 

Fraser was gripping him dearly as if holding on for dear life. He realized
that he was being emotionally overwrought and he fought hard to get a grip
of himself but he was failing miserably. He didn't want to fall apart
because his partner needed him but he had never been so scared in his life
as he was right about now. 

Ray squirmed and whispered. "Fraser? . . .Fraser lemme breathe some. Yer
squashing me buddy." 

"Oh! I'm so. . . . " 

"No! Keep yer arms around me and don't lemme go. You feel just great like
this. You feel fantastic in my arms." 

"Ray, please . . . You're misunderstanding the . . . " 

"No, I'm not . . . I wanna hold you Fraser and I wanna make love ta ya but
you won't let me. But at least lemme hold you." 

"Oh Ray." 

"Fraser, listen ta me and don't interrupt please. I've regained my memory.
I remember who I am and . . ." 

"Ray don't . . ." 

"NO! I asked you ta please hear me out! I swear ta ya that I remember who
I am and who you are! I went ta pick the Lieutenant up and we went
cruising in search of my memory. He had an out of town appointment but he
canceled so he could help me out. We drove all over town and even ta the
accident scene and nothing would jar me back into my brain. We were at it
all day long, checking out places, people, Diners, you name it and we
checked it out and nothing happened. It wasn't until I paid a visit ta
Stell and . . . " 

Fraser pulled back but Ray tightened his grip.	

"No. . . . I stopped at Stell's hoping that just maybe she could jolt me
back inta life. And I don't mean with sex, Fraser. I remembered that the
last time she and I fought that it jarred some of my memory about me
taking Frannie's photo so I decided ta give it a shot. Well you'll never
guess who she was on the line with when I snuck up behind her? You were on
the line."  

Fraser felt those fingers snaking through his hair and neck as Ray talked.
They were touching and caressing him and now his erection was calling to
him. The throbbing in his pants had started when those fingers first
touched him but now he was getting harder by the second. 

Ray pressed his lips to Fraser's neck and whispered. "When I heard all the
shit that she was saying ta ya on the phone, I dunno but something
happened up inside my brain and fireworks went off. Everything just rushed
right back inta me and I remembered everything . . . Fraser." Ray ran the
tip of his tongue up the Mountie's neck to right under the ear.  

Fraser shut his eyes tight, fighting back the urge to surrender himself. 

"I remembered taking Vecchio's place and meeting ya for the first time
when you returned from the Northwest Territories except I called them
areas . . . I remembered asking ya if you found me attractive while we
were at the Mausoleum waiting fer Ellery; . . . I remembered the bloom,
close and kick 'em in the head swimming procedure that you taught me as we
swam fer our lives; I remember the buddy breathing *kiss* and . . . " 

"Ray, you do remember! And it was a technique and not a kiss Ray." Fraser
tried to pull away but Ray pulled him closer and then gently pressed his
lips into the Mountie's neck just above the tunic's hemline. He then
licked his way up Fraser's earlobe and took it between his teeth nipping
it gently.  

Fraser tried to back away. 

"No, don't move Fraser cause I kinda like it right here where we're at. I
like that hardness in yer pocket, poking inta my hardness." 

"Ray." Fraser blushed struggling to pull away but Ray grabbed hold of his
hips and rocked into him gently.  

Ray looked up to gaze into his partner's blues for a moment and then
moaned. "M-m-m, Come on Fraser and don't pull away from me. I'm trying ta
explain to you that I got my memory back and I still want ya . . . and God
I do want ya in the most desperate kinda way . . . Fraser . . . I love
you. I love you and I want ya." 

Fraser was confused. He could feel Ray's hands sizing him up and down his
back and then Ray was pushing forward. He was pressing his erection into
the Mounties and pushing him backwards. They were doing a mating dance of
sorts thought Fraser. Ray would rock forward into him and Fraser would
take a step backwards until he realized that Ray was backing him up
against the wall.  

"Ray." 

"Uh, uh . . . no more talking." Ray reached up and unfastened the velcro
from Fraser's tunic then stepped forward.  

Fraser stared into those enigmatic blues that bore into his. 

Ray then plunged forward pressing his lips into the Mountie's. He found
Fraser's lips to be soft and tender just like he knew they would be.
Brushing his lips across Fraser's he waited for a response. 

Fraser felt Ray's warm breath fan his upper lip and then the cool wetness
where Ray's tongue had grazed his bottom lip making him moan. He then
heard Ray whisper. 

"I wanna kiss you so badly . . . Lemme kiss ya, Fraser. Tell me that you
want me ta kiss ya." 

Fraser knew that denying his feelings were hopeless at this point. The
things Ray was doing to him just left him feeling weak and vulnerable. He
wanted his partner in the worst way and there was no disputing that fact
any longer. He sought Ray's eyes and whispered. "Yes Ray . . . I want you
to kiss me." And he launched forward sealing his mouth to the detectives
pushing his tongue in the minute Ray's lips parted.  

Ray crumpled into Fraser's embrace when he felt the Mounties tongue
sweeping within him. His cock throbbed with every brush of that velvety
tongue as it glided across his lips and then plunged deep into him.  

Cupping the Mounties butt, the detective rocked forward again then swayed
when Fraser took hold of his tongue and sucked hard driving him crazy.	

Ray's cock begged for relief and he started pumping into Fraser, banging
him into the wall.  

Fraser realized the desperation and need in his partner and he whirled Ray
around, pushing him up against the wall now.  

Ray gasped when their lips parted for that split-second turn but Fraser's
lips were on him just as quick again, smashing down into his. 

Those soft, hungry, Mountie lips were devouring him, stealing away his
strength and his sanity and then they were off him again but only
momentarily.  

Ray gasped for air briefly only to be assaulted by those lips again as
they fastened themselves to his neck.  

"OH God Fraser." Ray moaned and panted while trying to pump his rock hard
cock forward but the Mountie pinned him up against the wall with body and
lips. His hands were searching under Ray's T-shirt touching and feeling
his skin until he found Ray's hard nipples. 

Ray moaned when Fraser squeezed one of his nipples. He then felt the
Mountie's thigh worm it's way between his legs and then up against his
stiff cock making Ray growl with pleasure.  

"Oh God Fraser, I'm gonna come."  

Fraser's mouth released his partner's bruised neck and then he reached up
cupping Ray's face in both hands. Gazing into those lustful pale-blues,
the Mountie whispered. "Are you sure about this Ray?" 

Ray was aching and hungry for his partner. He wanted Fraser. Wetting his
lips, and he breathed out his response. "Yes . . . yes, I am sure that I
want ya. Fraser . . . yes I am." 

"Very well then." Fraser pressed his lips in hard once more then dropped
to his knees. He reached for Ray's buckle then unzipped the pants and
pushed them down stopping at Ray's thighs. 

Ray could only watch while fighting back the urge to shoot his seed now. 

The Mountie pitched forward pressing his face into Ray's hardness. Then he
caught Ray's erection, through the boxers and growled. "Oh Ray!" 

Ray threw his head back and shut his eyes tight fighting the urge to hurry
him along. Both his hands had already lost themselves in the Mounties soft
hair and were clawing at it gently like a cat prepping its bed. He was
breathing through his mouth and then moaned. "Yes." 

Fraser bit through the clothes nipping at Ray's cock and Ray yelped almost
losing his load. 

"God Benton!" 

He then uncovered his partner's cock and wrapped a hand tightly around the
erection in one quick move.  

Ray lurched forward into that hand then started to slide down the wall
when his knees buckled but Fraser stopped him with a hand to his abdomen. 

The Mountie looked up at his partner catching those half-crazed eyes and
watched as Ray nodded at him. 

The Mountie nodded then his tongue snaked out and swept up the leaking tip
cleaning the seepage away. 

Ray gasped and moaned as his body fought for more oxygen. His body then
shuddered with each lick and he bucked forward when Fraser engulfed his
cock.  

Ray knew this wouldn't last long because the licking was heavenly but the
sucking was mind-boggling.  

Fraser was sucking him hard and swallowing him all the way to the base
while those fingers were feeling and caressing his balls, rolling them
gently. The Mountie was grabbing him by the hips and pulling him forward
thrusting Ray deeper into his mouth. 

Ray was panting hard trying to remember if anyone had ever deep-throated
him like this before and then didn't care if anyone ever had because what
Fraser was doing was too overwhelming. 

 The Mountie's tongue was sweeping up and down Ray's shaft, laving him
generously and then Fraser was sucking his hot swollen cock once again.  

Ray couldn't stand it any longer and moaned loudly when his cock spurted
its liquids out, while lurching himself into that mouth. "Oh God Fraser!"
he cried as he came fast and hard. It took all his energy not to topple
over his partner as Fraser lapped and swallowed his release. Ray could
feel Fraser's tongue pressing against his cock with every swallow and he
thought that he would explode again with the overwhelming sensation.  

And Fraser still had him pinned up against the wall. 

The release seemed to go on forever and then it passed way too quickly as
the Mountie made his way up to his face.  

Ray watched in fascination as Fraser's tongue swept across his lips,
licking away any remnants of his pearly release.  

The detective slumped into the wall feeling dazed and wild-eyed as he
gazed into the Mounties blues. His lips parted as he breathed through his
mouth trying to contain the overload of exhilaration.  

Fraser reached forward, pressing his lips into Ray's while murmuring. "Ray
. . . I love you." 

Ray wet his dried lips and nodded. "Yes, I know . . . I knew that you did
Fraser and I love ya too." 

Fraser gasped when Ray clutched his stiff penis in one hand. "I really
love ya . . . and I wanna taste ya. But not here . . . I want ya on the
bed." 

Fraser gazed into those blues and nodded while breathing hard. He reached
in for another kiss before stepping away to the bedroom. 

Ray pulled off his coat, stepped out of his jeans and slipped out of the
boxers. The shirt covered his hardening erection as he headed to the
bedroom after his partner.  

The Mountie stood by the bed waiting for Ray. 

The detective didn't waste time as he stepped right into the Mountie's
arms administering a deep-throated kiss. Pushing Fraser backwards they
landed on the bed and Ray sprawled himself on the Mountie in no time. He
was kissing Fraser hard while one hand was undoing the Mountie's zipper
and the other was holding him down. Once the jophurs were undone Ray then
snaked a hand in quickly and grasped hold of one hard, hot-to-the-touch
Mountie cock.  

Fraser moaned into Ray's hair as the detective sucked on his neck. "Oh
Ray." And his knees came up and fell open. 

Ray released his neck and gazed into those sultry, hungry eyes then
reached down for another tongue-sucking kiss.  

Fraser's body was now pushing up in rhythm to Ray's hand that pumped him.
The detective then tore his mouth away from the panting Mountie's mouth
and whispered. "I want ya, Fraser's . . . Oh god but I wanna taste ya."
Then he made his way down between Fraser's knees. 

Removing the boxers off Fraser's stiff penis he swooped down and swept his
tongue across the moist tip.  

The Mountie uttered a guttural moan and bucked up into Ray's hungry mouth.
 

This type of lovemaking was new to Ray. He had never made love to a man
before but this was a man he was in love with. This was Fraser. He doubted
that Fraser had ever made love to another man himself but today the
Mountie had outdone himself. He had put that skilled tongue to its gifted
use. 

Ray wasn't experienced but he did what he liked to have done on himself.
He pressed his lips against the hot mushroom head then slipped the tip
into his mouth. He was swallowing Fraser's velvety-smooth cock and found
that he really enjoyed his partner. 

Fraser moaned and Ray loved it. He loved the sound of satisfaction
escaping his partner's lips especially because he was the generator of
that pleasure. He slid his tongue down that stiff shaft again and Fraser
writhed and moan underneath him. 

Ray couldn't believe how incredible Fraser sounded and tasted. The horny
Mountie drove him wild with his cries and moans of passion and he reveled
in Fraser's ecstasy making him hard again. The Mountie's cock was
pulsating in his mouth and Fraser was moaning louder making Ray suck even
harder. 

Fraser stiffened then tried to pull away but Ray stopped him because he
knew the Mountie was ready to ejaculate. He wanted to taste Fraser, wanted
to savor inside of the man he hoped to make his for a very long time to
come. Ray suckled harder and was quickly rewarded with the Mounties hot
liquid that blasted out of him jetting into the roof of his mouth. Fraser
came fast and Fraser came hard. The Mountie was writhing and moaning
softly and Ray was enjoying everything about the whole event. He was
delighting in the Mountie's moans, in his warm seed, in his taste, and in
his love. This was much more then what he had expected because the Mountie
was astonishing, he was perfection. Then he felt Fraser caressing his
shoulder, beaconing him up.  

Ray let the shrunken cock slip out of his mouth and moved on up settling
into the arms of the Mountie.  

Fraser embraced him, sought his mouth and kissed him hard before letting
himself drop onto the pillow. He felt Ray shiver so he reached for the
blanket and pulled it over Ray's butt and legs. "Are you still cold?" 

Ray scooted up and rested his head on the Mountie's chest. "No, I just got
a chill. Thank you Fraser." 

Fraser smiled. "Why are you thanking me when it is I that should be
thanking you." 

"No, that's not true . . . you've been here for me through everything and
I wanna thank you. I'm sorry that I hurt ya that night. I'm sorry that I
ran off with Stella on Thanksgiving day when I should've been with you.
Please forgive me." 

Fraser ran a hand through the soft spikes and murmured. "There's nothing
to forgive Ray. I still love you no matter what." 

"But still . . . I was wrong . . . You and I belong together and I
should've realized that from the start. Guess I had ta knock the marbles
around in my head to get the information straight. But I got it straight
now, Fraser. I got it straight and I'm not gonna let you go no matter
what. I'm just counting my blessings and being thankful fer ya. I love ya
Fraser." Ray moaned when Fraser wrapped a hand around his hardening cock
and squeezed. "Oh God, I still want ya." 

The Mountie then reached down and kissed the top of Ray's head. "I love
you too, Ray." 

The door opened and then they heard the gasp. 

"Oh, my God!" Stella barked then pivoted and slammed the door on her way
out. 

Ray's head whipped in the direction of the door and then he jumped out
Fraser's hold and the bed. He grabbed some jeans that he found on the
floor and slipped them on. "What the fuck is she doing here! Stay here
Fraser!" he zipped up the jeans then stormed out of the bedroom. 

Ray found her standing by the kitchen counter clutching her chest and
gasping for air.  

"How the fuck did you get in here Stella?! And what are you doing here?!" 

She glared at Ray then snarled at him. "How could you do that?! How could
you sleep with him?!" 

Ray growled. "I asked ya how ya got in here!" 

Stella was panting and trembling and then she barked "How do you think I
got in here?! You gave me a key remember!? You told me to stop by whenever
I had the time so that I could keep you company and . . . and to see if
you were all right! How could you sleep with him, Ray? What the hell is
going through that head of yours?!" her voice cracked.	

"Look Stella, what I do is none of yer business. You should go. I've
already decided what I wanted, so just go." 

She shook her head and then she yelled. "You bastard! I was worried about
you! I was afraid that you were going to die when you were at the
hospital! I wanted to be here for you, wanted to be a part of your life
and now you're throwing me out?! How can you do this to me?! I thought we
were friends, Ray!" 

Ray stared at her then choked out a reply. "Friends!? I don't need a
fucking friend Stell! What I need is someone ta love me! I need someone ta
care for me and make love ta me and you weren't exactly throwing yerself
at me in the past so don't judge me! God dammit Stella if ya really must
know, I'm in love with him! I can't explain it ta ya but I just am! Just
leave it alone!" 

Stella finally managed to control her rage and her emotions. She knew that
fighting with Ray was useless most times because once his mind was made up
there was nothing that could change it. She knew that there was no sense
in continuing the argument so she backed away. "Okay Ray . . . I can
understand where you are coming from thinking that you might be in love
with Fraser. I'm only trying to protect you and prevent you from making
another big mistake in your life. And the Mountie is another big mistake
in your life." 

Ray smiled and scoffed. "Are you saying that you were my first mistake?
Besides there's no way that Fraser could be a mistake Stella cause the man
is perfect. He's perfect fer me. He's taught me how ta trust, how ta
believe in myself and most of all how ta love. He can't be a mistake." 

Stella stared at him then shook her head. "You're talking like a crazy
man." 

"No Stella, I'm talking like a man whose in love." 

"And you're in love with Fraser and he loves you right?" 

"Yes." 

"Fine . . . Okay . . . I can see that nothing I say is going to change
your mind. I can understand what you think you are saying. But what I
don't understand is why you chose to love a man, Ray? Was it because of
something that I said or did? Are you trying to get back at me? Was it
because I made you so embittered toward women that?. . ." 

"NO! It's so stupid that you would think this is all about you! I chose
Fraser because he's a remarkable and incredible man. He's everything that
I need and it just happens ta come in a man's package this time. He's
amazing Stell but you can't see that because yer so blinded by hate. Now .
. . would you please leave?" 

"You sound like you're eager to jump back into bed with him." She grunted.
 

"Well as a matter of fact, I am." 

"Fine . . . I'll leave. But you do realize that things will be different
for us from now on Ray." 

"Yes . . . I do realize that. But I don't have a problem with that
anymore. I'll be okay with it now." 

Stella glared at him then shook her head and started out.  

"Stella?" 

She looked at him. "What Ray?" 

"Could,. . .could you please leave the key?" 

She stared at him, removed the key from her key chain, dropped it on the
floor and left. 

Ray picked the key up and locked the door. Taking a deep breath he headed
back to the bedroom and found Fraser sitting on the bed. The Mountie was
already all buttoned and zipped up with every strand of hair brushed back
into place. 

He kept an eye on Ray as the detective approached him and stopped right in
front of him appearing very solemn.  

"Ray? Are you all right? Should I leave?" 

The detective reached down cupping Fraser's chin and then he smiled.
"There's no way that I want ya ta ever leave me again, Ben." He then
reached down and kissed Fraser's lips tenderly.  

Fraser returned the kiss, smiled and then stood up. He scooped his partner
into his arms and gazed into those pale blues. "Are you sure, Ray?" 

Ray wrapped his arms around the Mountie's neck and caught him in a
passionate kiss. The deep-throated, tongue-dueling kiss was full of
passion, hunger and desire. Fraser could feel his partner's tongue
probing, tasting, licking every inch of him ravenously. Then Ray finally
tore his mouth away to breathe. "Yes . . . Yes I am sure about you Fraser
. . . I want much more of you." 

The Mountie smiled. "How much more?" 

Ray's blues shimmered and then a mischievous grin spread across his face
as he cocked an eyebrow at his partner.  

"Ray?" 

"How would ya feel about intercourse, Fraser?" 

"I. . .I. . to be honest . . . I've never been sexually intimate with a
man before Ray. Well, that is until you and I . . . but we didn't . . . " 

"Good . . . I'll be yer first and you'll be mine. How's that fer a trade
off?" 

Fraser smiled. "Well that sounds like an excellent idea, Ray." 

"I thought so too. So take off yer Serge and let me give you a happy
belated Thanksgiving gift, Fraser." 

The Mountie's blues twinkled when he grinned. 

********************************************* 

It was Ray's first day back at work and he was thrilled to be back. He was
thrilled until he saw Stella leaving the lieutenant's office then she
looked his way. He watched her approaching his desk and he leaned back.  

"Detective Vecchio . . . and how are you doing today?" 

"Oh? So now it's Detective Vecchio huh? . . .well, I'm doing just fine.
The doctor removed the stitches and gave me a clean bill of health this
morning and said I could return to my job, so here I am." 

"Well that's good news but I was asking more about your so-called romance.
How is that coming along?" 

Ray looked at her waiting for more of her sarcasm or off beat remarks but
when none came he nodded. "The romance is doing just great, Stell. Thanks
fer asking." He smiled. 

She stood there and observed him. Then she added. "I had a talk with your
mother about you and your new romance. The only thing that she could do
was offer her condolences about our relationship not working out." 

"Stella . . . I'd appreciate it if you don't talk to my mum about my
relationships. Besides she knows about Fraser and me 'cause Fraser told
her about it already. And as far as I'm concerned she's okay with it so
just leave it alone okay?" 

Stella glared at him. She then scowled and shook her head. "I don't know
what happened to you Ray, but you really need to go back to the doctor and
get your head reexamined. You are in dire need of medical attention. That
hit on the head really messed something up inside and did some serious
damage." 

Ray chuckled. "Oh Stell, you'd be surprised about how much that hit on the
head helped me. Besides, I'm so much happier this way." 

His stubbornness exasperated her so much that she walked away instead. 

Frannie walked past and scolded him. "Would you quit squirming and sit
still?! I swear someone will think you have worms, Ray!" 

Ray shot her a scowling look then went back to his files. It was difficult
to sit still because Fraser had really let him have it yesterday night. Of
course he had asked for it and the penetration had been great but today it
wasn't so great. In fact today it was downright painful. He wondered if
Fraser was having the same problem as he was. He hoped that the Mountie
was at least as sore as he was because Fraser really enjoyed himself last
night. The Mountie had rammed into his butt the previous day and today his
butt was aching. Ray sat back trying to find a comfortable spot that
wasn't too sore. He pulled out his wallet hoping to ease some of the
discomfort then remembered the photograph. Pulling the photo out of his
wallet, he then placed it on the desk before him and gazed at it. He
beheld that beautiful Mountie face and smiled when he remembered that he
too had returned the favor on Fraser's firm and tight butt last night. He
just hoped the Mountie was squirming like he was today. Flipping the photo
over he read the new inscription scribbled on the back of it. "To the new
Ray in my life. I thank you for the wonderful Belated Thanksgiving gift
which consisted of sharing you. It was once said that * It is better to
give then to receive *. . . .But not in our case. Sincerely yours . . .
Constable Benton Fraser . . . RCMP." He glanced up when he heard his
partner's cheery good morning to Frannie and tucked the photo back into
his wallet quickly. Ray watched as the Mountie approached, smiling happily
as if nothing bothered him which meant that the man had no pain and that
bothered Ray. He murmured under his breath. "That bastard." 

"Good morning Ray and how are you doing today?" 

Ray smiled up at him. "Oh, I'm doing just great, Fraser . . . Just great,
except fer this big severe ache up in my ass so how 'bout you?" 

"Ray!" Fraser blushed. "Language please! I'm doing well myself, thank you
kindly." 

"Yeh, I can see that. Spreading that holiday cheer all around. Yer looking
quite the cheery Mountie this morning . . . have a seat Fraser and let's
get started on this." 

"Uh . . . no. . I don't think that I would like to sit, thank you kindly
Ray. I'll just stand here if you don't mind." 

Ray glanced up at him and then cracked out laughing. "Well, that's good ta
know! I thought I was the only one with the sore ass!" 

"Ray!" 

"Aw, come on Fraser . . . have a seat. Come on and humor me." 

Fraser looked down at the hard wooden chair then over at his grinning
partner before sitting down cautiously.  

The detective watched as the Mountie sat, adjusted his tunic, tugged at
his collar then glanced over at him and winched. "Ouch." 

Ray cracked up laughing again because he felt so much better already.
"Fraser?" 

"Yes Ray?" 

"I love you." Ray whispered then blinked at him. 

Fraser smiled. "I love you too." 

Ray leaned in on his desk and whispered."Well, I love you but my ass is
off limits ta ya until you learn how to take it easy. I'm not a horse ya
know."	

"Oh Dear. And I did so enjoy myself last night. You weren't exactly gentle
yourself Ray. And what does a horse have to do with this conversation?" 

"Well, you really rode me like one last night." 

Fraser blushed. "I'm sorry Ray." 

"It's okay but I'm parking the saddle fer a few days. Okay, now let's get
started on this paperwork, Frase." 

"And how many days is that, Ray?" 

"How many days is what, Fraser?" 

"How many days do I have to wait for you to um, put the saddle back on,
Ray?" 

"Fraser! I may not be able ta sit down fer an entire week! I'm . . . I'm
injured!" 

"And I apologized to you, Ray . . . Again, I offer you my sincerest
apologies and I will try to refrain from being so brutal the next time." 

"Okay, fine. Now look at this case right here and . . ." 

"So how many days is that , Ray?" 

"Fraser! I mean, at least give me till tomorrow!" 

"Well, I can do that." 

Ray glared at him and then smiled. "We had a fantastic belated
Thanksgiving, didn't we Fraser?" 

"Yes Ray . . . we had a fantastic belated Thanksgiving and I'm looking
forward to same tomorrow." 

"You mean you want some more of that leftover turkey?" 

"No Ray . . . but a saddled horse would be nice." 

Then Ray cracked up laughing.  

The end 

comments/ droopy_jack@excite.com