Christmas Dinner with the Turnbulls SHIRLEY M EDSTEDT Normal Preferred Customer 3 144 2000-12-28T03:33:00Z 2000-12-28T03:40:00Z 12 6821 38884 324 77 47752 9.2720 0 0 This story is supposed to be humorous, but it turned out a little to sweet I'm afraid. The rating is PG, but it's probably closer to G. Please let me know what you think of:   Christmas Dinner with the Turnbulls by Shirley Russell mailto:writerlady1@home.com   It all started innocently enough, Renfield just mentioned to Kerri that he would like to do something nice for all their friends at Christmas. The idea of what that something would be had actually occurred to both of them at the same time. If he'd stopped to think about it, that probably would have made Renfield very happy, that they'd been together long enough to start thinking alike. But he didn't take the time to think about it, he just started planning.   The first step was to get approval. He thought that that would probably be the toughest part of the whole celebration, so at lunchtime on December 7, he and Kerri went together to seek permission. Kerri vaguely recalled that December 7 had some sort of historical significance for Americans, but she couldn't quite remember what that significance was. Renfield remembered that the bombing of Pearl Harbor did show the world how Americans, when attacked on their own soil, could be a terrible force to be reckoned with. He had absolutely no idea how that might apply in this case, however.   Kerri had only met Mrs. Vecchio once, and felt like she was being scrutinized the entire time. Making friends with Francessca had been hard enough, but Mrs. Vecchio had proven to be a 'tough nut to crack'. Both she and her daughter were extremely protective of the Mounties in their lives, and Kerri had to be on her best behavior the entire time she was being 'interviewed'. She and Renfield joked about it afterward, that Kerri had had to interview for the position of his wife.   So standing, unannounced, on the Vecchio doorstep made Kerri decidedly uncomfortable. "Renny," she whispered, "maybe we should have called first. She might be upset at the intrusion."   "Kerri, do you still think she doesn't like you? That's just silly, everyone likes you." He chuckled, "even Francessca."   "Remind me to ask you what went on between you two on that 'date' you had..."   Before she could finish the sentence, Mrs. Vecchio answered the door. "Oh, my, what a nice surprise, Renfield and his...wife..."   "Kerri, Mrs. Vecchio, I'm Kerri."   "Of course you are, Dear. Please come in, you must be frozen, dressed in that light coat. I never understood the need for fashion over comfort." She took Renfield's arm and led them into her living room. Speaking primarily to Renfield she chatted on, "you know my Francessca is exactly the same way, sacrifice anything if she thought it would make her look better." Looking pointedly at Renfield she continued, "but you certainly know my Francessca doesn't need to work at being beautiful."   She directed Kerri to a chair and seated herself next to Renfield on the sofa across the room. If she had tried she couldn't have gotten Renfield and Kerri any farther apart.   Kerri was becoming more and more uncomfortable, and less and less sure that coming here was a good idea. Mrs. Vecchio had obviously had her eye on Renfield as a husband for her daughter, and Kerri had spoiled her plans. What made her uncomfortable though was Renfield's reaction to Mrs. Vecchio. He loved the way she fawned over him, there was no denying it.   "Mrs. Vecchio..."   "Please call me 'Ma', all my children do, and I've always considered you part of my extended family, you and Benton." Renfield didn't even notice that she had purposely excluded Kerri from her list of family.   "Ma, Kerri and I have come to ask a favor, and extend an invitation." Mrs. Vecchio looked sideways at Kerri. "We thought, that is, we'd like to have Christmas dinner at our house." Before she could object, Renfield hurried on. "I know it's a tradition for you to have everyone here on Christmas Eve, but we were wondering if you would let us do it this year? Everyone has been so kind to us over the last year, we would just like to do something to show our gratitude."   Mrs. Vecchio eyed Kerri warily. "Are you sure you're up to the challenge, Dear? Cooking for a large group is not an easy task. Francessca, of course, has been able to do it with one eye closed for years. But, since you have no family..."   Kerri was beginning to wonder if the woman was trying to bait her, if she mentioned how great Francessca was one more time, Kerri was going to scream. "I've never cooked for a large group before, but I'd certainly like to try, Ma'am. You, Francessca and Maria and her family are welcome to come, we just wanted to ask your permission..." 'Damn,' she thought, 'was that ever the wrong word.'   Mrs. Vecchio smoothed her apron for a moment before she cast a disapproving glance in Kerri's general direction. "Dear, you don't need to ask my permission to have a dinner party." She turned to Renfield, "it just so happens that Maria and Tony and the children are going to his family's home this year. They've been avoiding it for years, but this year they just had to say 'yes'." She leaned over to whisper to Renfield, "his mother is a very bad cook," and raising her voice so that Kerri could hear, "and since he loves Francessca's turkey and sausage stuffing, he always wants to keep the family here."   "We'd though of serving prime rib with Yorkshire pudding." Kerri tried valiantly to win the older woman's approval. If she thought roast beef was going to do it she was wrong.   "We always prepare turkey on Christmas, that's an American tradition, you know." Once again she looked directly at Renfield and smiled. "We would be delighted to come to your little home for Christmas dinner." She then directed her eyes toward Kerri. "Do you have enough china and silver for all of us, or do you need to borrow some of ours?" She grinned at Renfield. "The china has been passed down in my family for several generations, going to Francessca next, of course." She looked back toward Kerri. "And we'll be there if you need any help."   'You're hoping it will be a disaster, just to demonstrate how Francessca can show me up," she thought. "Thank you," she said.   Renfield and Kerri carefully picked their way back down the icy walk. "Wasn't that nice of her, to offer to help? Ma is certainly a lovely lady."   Lovely? Maybe. Lady? Kerri wasn't quite so sure.   ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~   That afternoon Renfield paid a visit to the 27th Precinct. They'd already told Stan about Christmas Eve at their house, so now Renfield was searching for Lieutenant Vecchio. The bullpen was crowded and noisy as usual. Other than it not being ungodly hot, Renfield was reminded of a day a very long time ago, when he had ventured in unannounced and had overheard a conversation between Stan, then Ray Vecchio, and Constable Fraser. Stan had said some very unkind things about him without realizing Renfield was listening. He rubbed his leg absentmindedly. That was also the day he had pulled little Maria out of the path of that speeding car and had broken his leg as a result.   'Oh, my!' Renfield thought, 'how things have changed.' Stan had become one of the best friends he had ever had, and Ray Vecchio had come back from his undercover assignment in Las Vegas. He had met and married Kerri. He chose not to think about the other things that had happened in Las Vegas. He'd come to terms with them, he just found it easier not to...   "Hey, Turnbull. You come here to be a big, red roadblock, or are you on a mission?" Ray asked as he slapped Renfield on the back.   "Lieutenant Vecchio! I'm sorry, I was wool gathering, wasn't I?" He chuckled.   "How many times I gotta tell you, it's Ray, or Vecchio, if you want. We know each other too well and have been through too much stuff to be formal."   "You're right, of course, Ray. Kerri and I would like for you to come to Christmas Eve dinner at our house..."   "Man, you know I'd like to, but my Ma would have an Italian fit if I was to go..."   Francessca walked up to say hello as Renfield interrupted. "We've taken care of that." He announced proudly. "Kerri and I stopped by your house at lunch time today to speak with your mother about just that."   "WHAT?" Both Vecchios yelled in unison.   Renfield was so taken aback he didn't know what to say. "I...I...that is...we...went..."   "God, Renfield, you took Kerri there, unarmed?" Francessca was dumbfounded.   "I'm sorry, did I do something wrong? You're mother was delightful. She even offered her assistance with preparation of the meal."   "I'll just bet she did!" Francessca interjected.   "Turnbull, don't you know that a protective Italian mother can be like a piranha, if confronted in her lair?"   Despite Ray's mixed metaphor, Renfield got the idea, but he still didn't understand.   "You explain it to him, bro. I gotta go talk to Kerri." Francessca hurried out of the squad room.   Ray put his arm around Renfield's shoulder. "You see buddy it's like this..."   ~~*~~*~~*~~   Kerri was just coming down the stairs with her arms full of lights and ornaments for the small artificial tree that they had placed in the front window of the shop as Francessca came through the door.   From somewhere under the tree Francessca heard a man's voice. "May I help you?"   "Hey Lance. It's me, Frannie. It looks like you're the one who could use the help. What are you tryin' to do?"   Lance raised up so rapidly he almost knocked the small tree over, but it was Kerri who spoke first. "Frannie! It's good to see you. I was going to call you today. I wanted to ask..."   "Yeah, Renfield was just at the station. I can't believe he took you to see Ma, without backup."   Kerri sighed. "I don't think she likes me much, and I don't know why. I don't think I've ever done anything to..."   "Come on in here and I'll fill you in on overprotective mothers." Kerri hurriedly dropped the decorations as Frannie dragged her into the tearoom and plopped down in the nearest chair. "Sit down, this may take awhile." Frannie approached her explanation as if she were addressing a joint session of Congress. "You see my Ma thinks you're just about perfect."   "What!"   "She kinda thought, well, that Renfield and I might get together. You knew we dated once, right?" Frannie hesitated, and then was vastly relieved to see that Kerri did indeed know. "And then you came in and swept Renfield off his feet. You're pretty and smart and successful, and I just wasn't any match for you."   "I'm sorry, I had no idea, I never meant..."   "There's nothing for you to be sorry about. It's my Ma. She's always tryin' to find me a husband, and she had all kinds of ideas about Renfield 'n me." Frannie was quick to continue, "there was never anything between us, promise. But Ma just thought I didn't stand a chance with you around. She's still tryin' to build me up by tearin' you down."   "I noticed." Kerri whispered.   "That's why I needed to beat feet over here to see you. I didn't want you to think I, well, I thought the same about you. You don't, do you?"   "Of course not, you're my friend. I'm just sorry your mother can't see what a beautiful, smart, successful woman you are."   "Oh, she does, it's just she thinks you're better." Frannie laughed.   "Well, as long as you know that that's not true. You want some tea?"   "Nah, Lieutenant Welsh is gonna have my butt for leavin' without tellin' him. But I thought this was more important." The two women walked to the front of the shop together. "So, what do you want me to bring?"   "Your mom says you make great turkey and sausage stuffing, maybe I should just let you bring the whole din..."   Frannie laughed hysterically. "A few years ago I tried to make my first 'solo' Christmas dinner. I roasted the turkey and forgot to put in the stuffing. Not only that but," she couldn't stop laughing, "I forgot to take out the giblets. I had turkey with cooked plastic bag inside. That's how good a cook I am."   "I feel so much better! Thanks for coming by." Kerri closed the door behind her and turned to see Lance standing right behind her.   "You sure you want to do this? It's a awful lot of people, let's see, that's," he counted on his fingers, "ten, maybe eleven people for a sit down dinner, one of whom will be criticizing every move you make. This should be tons of fun for you!"   Later that afternoon Richard Turnbull called to say that he would be joining them for Christmas and Kerri wanted to cry with relief. She knew Richard loved her unconditionally, so he would be assigned the task of diverting any potential frontal assault from Mrs. Vecchio.   ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~   Renfield and Kerri had had dinner parties before, of course, just not for quite so many people, and never at Christmas. Both of them were just naive enough to think that having guests for Christmas dinner would not be any more stressful that having guests for dinner at any other time of the year. They were about to learn just how wrong they were.   Kerri had decided to keep the shop open later in the evening starting the first of December. She and Lance weren't thrilled with the longer work hours, but the extra money at Christmas time would come in handy for both of them. However, the longer hours also meant less time for shopping for Christmas presents, shopping for food for dinner, and shopping for the extra decorations she would need. She had a choice to make, she could pick two out of three things she need to do: she could work, she could shop and prepare for Christmas, or she could sleep. She picked the first two, and opted to leave sleeping until after the first of the year.   The closer it came to Christmas, the more worn out she became, and with her fatigue came a serious case of grumpiness. At the grocery store late one night about three days before Christmas Renfield's terminal good cheer finally got to her.   As they shoved their way through the hordes of shoppers Renfield sang verses from 'Santa Drives a Pickup'. "How is it possible that you are always in a good mood?" She asked sarcastically. "God, you'd think you didn't have a care in the world or a brain in your head, the way you're always smiling and happy." The look on his face made Kerri want to kick herself all the way back to Edmonton. She grabbed his arm as he turned away from her. "Renny, I'm sorry! I'm just so tired. I wish I could be as cheerful as you always are. No wonder everyone loves you so much. You're unflappable."   Renfield laughed as he put his arm around her shoulders. "You must be tired. You've obviously forgotten quite a lot that happened over the last year! And I'm glad!"   Renfield ran interference through the crowded aisles as they filled their cart with all the wonderful delicacies that would comprise their Christmas dinner. Kerri had to smile at him. Even though he was the most gentle man she had ever known, his size, while always a comfort to her, could be rather intimidating to elderly ladies trying to maneuver past him in the narrow aisles. One older woman actually threatened to hit him with her cane, if he didn't move away from the candied fruit so she could get at the prunes.   As they got in the endless line to check out Kerri hesitated. "Do you think we've got enough food?"   "Good God! We've got enough in this basket to feed a small third world nation. What else could we possibly need? You got everything on your list, right? And you made the list from the menu we planned, right?"   And older couple in line in front of them smiled knowingly. "Having a large group for Christmas dinner?" They smiled at each other again when Renfield and Kerri nodded.   "It's the first dinner party we've given since we've been married." Renfield volunteered proudly.   "Oh, dear. We'll pray for you!" The woman chuckled.   As they moved forward and started unloading their purchases on the conveyor belt Kerri sighed. "Renny, is this going to be a disaster?"   Renfield was becoming slightly nervous. Everyone he had talked to thought they were crazy to have such a large group for dinner when they had never even had half as many people there at any one time. "We'll be great, just wait and see."   Well, at least she wouldn't have to wait very long. ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~   "Renny could you get the Christmas tree by yourself? Please? I just can't get away, we're completely swamped." They had planned to go together to look for a tree after Renfield finished work for the day, but Kerri's call had apparently put an end to that.   "I was really looking forward to getting a tree together," he pouted. "Can't Lance cover for you for just a few minutes?"   "Renny, you know it's going to take more than a few minutes to get a perfect tree, and I just don't have time. I'm sorry, I was looking forward to it too, looking for our first tree, but you'll be able to find one. I have complete faith in you."   And so Renfield went alone to buy a Christmas tree. By the time he was able to make his way through the downtown traffic it was totally dark, and very cold. The cold didn't bother him, he was Canadian, after all, but the darkness was a source of worry. Kerri had desperately wanted to pick out the tree in the daylight, believing that she could better see any potential flaws. It was very important to her that the tree be perfect. Actually, Renfield was just beginning to realize how important it was to her that everything about this Christmas be perfect.   The perfect tree turned out to be one that Charlie Brown had rejected. Oh, there were several nicely shaped trees, but they all looked like advertisements for a California shopping mall, what with their pastel flocking. Renfield did not demand much, but one thing he would not abide was a chartreuse painted fir tree in his living room! Kerri would just have to settle for the Charlie Brown reject.   The closer he got to home though, the more he began to second-guess his decision. He put on his best lovable puppy face as he hefted the 'tree' into the shop. When he saw her face, he began to think that chartreuse was a rather soothing color. 'No!' He thought, 'this is my home too, and this tree is...well, oh, darn!'   "I'm sorry Kerri, but it was the only thing they had left. There was a shortage of trees this year, some sort of blight or something. It was this or one that was only three feet tall. I knew you wanted one at least six feet, so this was my choice." He figured what she didn't know wouldn't hurt him.   Kerri wanted to cry when she saw it, six feet of scraggly, scrawny trunk with a few uneven branches and needles that seemed to drop at an alarming rate.   "It looks like someone sat on it!"   Renfield sighed. "Someone did. Well, actually, fell on it would be a more accurate description. I slipped on the ice when I was getting it off the car."   "Are you okay? You didn't hurt yourself?"   "I'm fine, the tree, ah, broke my fall." Renfield looked at her sheepishly.   It was probably best that she didn't say what she was thinking. "It will have to do, I guess." The disappointed look on his face melted her heart. "It will be perfect, with some ornaments, lights and garland. You did remember to get the garland, right? Oh, Renny, you didn't forget?"   He stared at the floor as he shuffled his feet. "I remembered, it's just that there was no place to park at the mall, so I went to Target. They were all out of everything but pink aluminum garland. I bought that, but, well, it's ugly."   "We'll have to use it, we've got to fill in the gaps in the branches." Kerri sighed, she knew Renny needed a kind word, and she just couldn't seem to come up with one.   "Maybe I could get something better tomorrow, it's Saturday and I don't have to work." He brightened considerably at the thought.   Kerri just sighed. "I really need your help in the shop tomorrow. We'll figure out something." She put her arms around him and buried her head in his shoulder. "I just want everything to be perfect, for our friends, you know?"   "I love you." He whispered.   Kerri smiled in spite of herself. "And there's nothing any more perfect than that. I'm sorry I forgot it for just a minute."   They were so busy in the shop over the next two days that there was never time for either of them to get any other garland. By the time the shop closed at noon on Christmas Eve, there wasn't much time to do anything but finish decorating the apartment, and prepare dinner.   While Renfield ran to the airport to pick up his father, Kerri placed the finishing touches on the tree. It had been fun for them to hang their ornaments, some from her childhood, and some from his, and some they had purchased together over the last year. The pink garland helped fill in the gaps in the tree they had christened 'Charlie', for the obvious reasons, but Charlie looked anything but perfect. She tried turning the bare spot to the back, only to find a barer spot in the front. She tried adding more lights, but they just served to accentuate the sparseness of the branches. Finally she threw her hands up in despair and moved a couple of chairs in close, hoping they would block the view.   When Renfield's father walked through the door though, Kerri immediately forgot all about Charlie the Tree.   As soon as he was up the stairs, Kerri had her arms around Richard's neck. "I'm so glad you could come! We've missed you. Please come in an had a seat, I've got some hors d'oeuvres, are you hungry?"   Kerri had barely said the words when the lights went out.   "Everybody stand still, it's just a fuse, I'll have it replaced on two shakes."   "Ah, Ren? I don't think you need to bother with that." Richard called from somewhere near where the tall window overlooked the street. "Lights are out all up and down the street. It seems you have a power failure on your hands."   In the darkness Kerri cast her eyes toward heaven. "You really wouldn't do that to me, would You?" ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~   Richard had been staring out the front window watching for the rest of the Christmas revelers. He had barely gotten the words 'power failure' out of his mouth when he saw the vague outline of Ray Vecchio's Rivera turn the corner.   "Your guests are about to arrive, Honey. You want me to go down and let them in?"   "I'll go, Dad. You and Kerri stay put. I'd hate to have either one of you fall down the..." A loud crash, several bangs, a few bumps and a hearty curse, well a hearty 'darn', and Renfield was down the stairs. "I'm okay! I just tripped over the dog." He shouted as he stumbled toward the front door.   His father could only smile. Reassuring him wasn't necessary, as Richard had heard those same noises, or a variation of them, almost since Renfield could walk. Kerri was close enough to see him shake his head and hear him mutter, "still as clumsy as the day you were born."   Renfield got to the door just as Ray knocked. "Merry Christmas, Ray, Mrs. Vecchio. Isn't Francessca with you?"   "Nah, she's comin' with Kowalski and Fraser and Meg. She didn't want to show up at a party with her ma and brother."   "Its going to be very hard for, ah, your wife to serve dinner in the dark, Dear. Let's see what we can do to help."   Ray shook his head at his mother's back as Renfield lead them through the dark bookshop. "Kerri'll do just great, Ma. Give her a break."   "Actually, the power went out just as she was preparing to put the Yorkshire pudding in with the prime rib, so the timing of dinner may be off just a bit."   The farther up the stairs they went the brighter it became. Once at the top Renfield and his guests could see the soft glow of candlelight. Kerri and Richard had found every candle in the house and placed them strategically around the room. The effect was lovely. Candles on the mantle, coffee and end tables, and on the dining table.   The dining set that Kerri had shipped from her Edmonton house was far too small for the large number of people that would be sharing Christmas dinner with them, so Stan had intervened. A guy he knew had recently purchased a mini-tennis set for his kids. The three-quarter sized ping-pong table would make a perfect place for everyone to eat. Kerri had covered it with a white queen-size flat sheet, and placed a red and green quilted runner down the center. She wound gold wired ribbon around a red and white carnation centerpiece, and sprinkled tiny golden stars over the runner.   Not having enough place settings for everyone to have matching china and crystal had bothered Kerri immensely, so she had gone to World Market. She found red and green place settings at a very reasonable price, and with her Arby's Christmas glassware, and her mother's silver, she had been able to create a fairyland table setting that even made the Fairyland Table Setting King, her husband, proud. Richard lighted several red and green taper candles around the centerpiece that served as the perfect finishing touch to a beautiful scene.   Renfield introduced his father to the Vecchios and, true to the promise that he had secretly made to Kerri, Richard set about monopolizing Mrs. Vecchio. He actually didn't mind too much, he found Rosa Vecchio to be a charming woman, as long as Kerri wasn't the topic of discussion. As the candles flickered around them he watched her sneak glances at Kerri and didn't like the look in her eye. Kerri hadn't filled him in on the particulars, so Richard could not understand how a woman as charming as Rosa could dislike his perfect daughter-in-law as much as Rosa obviously did.   Rather than broach the subject, Richard attempted to take the conversation in an entirely different direction. Asking Rosa about her family did give Richard an inkling into the situation, however. Her daughter, Francessca, had apparently been interested in Renfield at one point, and Rosa obviously had had hopes.   It struck him as rather odd, even though he had never met Francessca. He couldn't imagine his son with anyone who suited him more perfectly than Kerri. Richard knew that she was the most beautiful, smartest, most successful woman in the world. To his mind Kerri was perfect, and he couldn't understand anyone who didn't feel the same way.   Ray and his mother had been at the apartment only a few minutes when the rest of the party arrived. Meg and Fraser, Stan and Frannie, and Lance and Art let themselves in with Lance's key and picked their way through the dark bookshop to the candlelit second floor.   "Oh, Kerri, it's just beautiful in here." The lights on the tree were out, but the candlelight caused the garland to sparkle and twinkle, casting tiny prisms against the ceiling. "I don't see a thing wrong with your tree." Meg said as she sought out Kerri in the dimly lighted room.   "Is there something wrong with your tree, Dear?" Kerri was sure that Mrs. Vecchio still had no idea what her first name was. Unless, of course, she thought it was 'Dear'.   Meg followed Kerri into the kitchen. "I'm sorry, did I give her more ammunition?"   "Ma will make anything into ammunition if she feels she needs it." Frannie followed Meg into the kitchen.   "You've got that right." Meg and Frannie couldn't see Kerri very well, but could tell from her voice that stress was the order of the day.   "What can we do to help?"   "Nothing! There's nothing anyone can do, I have an electric stove, for God's sake! And in case you hadn't noticed, the power's out. My lovely medium rare prime rib is medium raw, the Yorkshire pudding is nothing more than batter swimming in lukewarm oil. And the roasted root vegetables are starting to sprout!"   Meg and Frannie could hear the tears in her words. "The power's gotta come back on soon, don't ya think, Meg? They've gotta be workin' on it right now."   "Kerri, I'm sure Francessca is right," came the voice of reason out of the darkness, "and if it doesn't, well, we'll eat hors d'oeuvres and..."   "Hey, Kerri ya got any more a those great little puffy things, or the stuffed mushrooms? We're all out in here." Stan yelled from the living room.   Kerri just sighed. "Well, so much for plan B. Got any more bright ideas, Meg?" Her sarcasm surprised both Meg and Frannie. "I'm sorry, I just don't know what else could possibly go wrong today."   She'd have to wait about two hours to find out. ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~   The lights came back on about an hour later, and Renfield promised himself that later tonight he'd get down on his knees and thank God. He'd never seen Kerri so completely beside herself. She was short tempered with anyone who ventured her way, and positively snappish at him. He tried to tell her he understood, but she just glared at him.   A little over an hour after the power came back on they were finally able serve dinner and Kerri seemed to relax a little. She even apologized to Renfield. "I'm sorry I've been so out of sorts," she kissed him on the cheek as she handed him the mashed potatoes to set on the table. Right behind him was Stan who grinned at her as she handed him the platter containing the slices of roast.   "Do I get one a those too?"   "Well, it is Christmas, after all." Kerri smiled as she reached up and gave him a peck on the cheek.   Stan, totally flustered, turned away from her just as Dickens trotted up to see about the wonderful smell coming from the nervous one. Stan failed to see the seventy-five pounds of inquisitive dog at his feet, and stumbled headfirst over him. Renfield, who had stopped just ahead of Stan to speak to Mrs. Vecchio, was unable to move quickly enough to avoid a collision with man, flying slices of prime rib and yelping yellow Lab.   Lovingly whipped mashed potatoes floated through the air and landed softly on Mrs. Vecchio's new red Christmas ensemble. Renfield suffered only a glancing blow from the airborne body of a slender Chicago police detective, before that body continued on to the dinner table.   Never intended to support more weight than the occasional ping-pong ball, the tennis table protested loudly, shuddered briefly, and then collapsed under the weight of said detective and what was left of the serving platter of prime rib.   By the time Kerri made it to the doorway, she was greeted with the sight of a potato topped Vecchio matriarch, a frozen in place husband, and a done to a turn Kowalski, laying in the middle of shattered assorted crockery and what once was a green particle board table.   Stan raised up on one arm and tried his best to grin at her. "Dinner's served?"   Kerri did what any fine, self-confident hostess would do when confronted with such a scene, she burst in to tears and ran for the bedroom. The last anyone saw of her was the tie of her decorative red apron flying out behind her as she rounded the corner. The last anyone heard was the slamming of her bedroom door.   "Oh, dear."   Much later no one would remember who it was who actually spoke the words that everyone was thinking, or at least they were a variation of what everyone was thinking.   ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~   It took several minutes for the assembled guests to finally comprehend all that had just happened. The only one who seemed completely unfazed by the whole incident was Dickens. He chomped blissfully on an end cut of prime rib, always the best part of course, as he made himself at home under Charlie the Tree.   It was necessary for Fraser to give Stan a hand up, as he seemed to be partially buried in broken or shattered glass. Fortunately, there was nothing about Stan that was either broken or shattered.   Brushing himself off, he stared solemnly in the direction that Kerri had fled. "That's gotta score a ten for technique."   "Stan, I hardly think now is the time for humor. I..."   "No, he's right." Not sure what else he could do, Renfield bent to begin cleaning up the remnants of their shattered Christmas. "Humor is the only thing that will get..."   "Renfield," Meg placed her hand on his shoulder, "don't you think you should see to Kerri?"   "No. Let me go."   Everyone, including Renfield, froze. "Ma," Ray and Frannie said in unison, "that's not a good idea." Ray completed the sentiment.   Mrs. Vecchio patted Renfield on the shoulder when she saw his worried look. "Trust me, it will be fine."   If there was one other person in the room who believed that, it would have had to be Dickens, but he was too busy gnawing to say anything. ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~   Even though she was expecting his knock, Kerri still jumped at the sound of soft tapping on her door. Completely mortified, she really didn't want to see anyone, she'd rather they all just went away and left her to die of humiliation. But she also longed for the comfort of Renny's arms around her and his soft voice assuring her that this was not the end of the world. Even though she knew it was, it would still be nice to hear someone say the words.   She vacillated between hiding under the bed and throwing herself into his arms just long enough for Renfield to grow impatient, and the doorknob to turn. Kerri raised up from where she had thrown herself on the bed, to look into the eyes of...Mrs. Vecchio.   She rubbed her tears away with the back of her hand, as the older woman reached for the tissues on the nightstand. Kerri looked at her dress and cried even harder. "I...I'm...s... sorry about your beautiful...dress." She sobbed.   "When you're around as many children as I am you always buy clothing that's washable. It's not ruined, it will be fine, I don't want you to worry about it."   Her tone of voice caused Kerri to stop crying and stare. Mrs. Vecchio was concerned, and Kerri was confused.   "I want to tell you a little story." She made herself at home on the bed as Kerri struggled to sit up next to her. "A long time ago there was a very young bride. She came from a large family, immigrants from, well, that's another story. She was very proud of her new husband and her home. She spent all of her time making curtains, painting walls, and scrubbing floors. She didn't have a job outside her home, you see. In those days very few wives worked. Anyway, that Christmas she wanted nothing more in the world than to prepare her husband a traditional Christmas dinner. She shopped and planned and cooked and cleaned until she was completely done in, nowadays you young people would call it 'stressed out'."   "Her husband kept telling her it wasn't that important, that he was just happy to be spending Christmas with the woman he loved, but she would have none of it. She wanted to prove to him that she was the perfect wife, and she could do it all."   "On Christmas morning she got up at 5:00 to begin preparing the turkey. She had it planned to the last second, you see. The bird was stuffed and in the oven just in time for them to leave for Mass. They were away from the house longer than usual on that morning because they stopped in to see her mother."   "They arrived home just in time for her to finish preparing the rest of the dinner. The potatoes were already peeled, sitting in salted water. The same with the sweet potatoes and carrots. The pumpkin pie was in the icebox, ready to be popped in the oven as soon as the turkey came out. They expected to smell the turkey roasting all the way from the foyer of their apartment building, but no such aroma greeted them."   "They climbed the stairs, the anticipation making her husband's mouth water. But even standing at their front door they could not smell the turkey roasting. By the time she got to the kitchen, she knew there was something terribly wrong."   "What happened to the turkey?" Kerri asked softly.   "I forgot to turn on the oven."   Kerri was horrified, but Mrs. Vecchio just laughed. "There's a point to this story, for both of us. I forgot for awhile what the perfect Christmas is really about. It's not perfect trees or decorations or dinner parties that Martha Stewart would envy. It's not about trying to find someone, anyone, for your daughter. It's not even about perfect people who seem to be able to do nothing wrong. Christmas is about love, perfect love. And that is what I see in the eyes of your young man whenever he looks at you. My marriage didn't turn out to be the fairy tale that I had envisioned. Don't let the same thing happen to you. Concentrate on maintaining and building your love. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, that is more important than that...not even the opinion of one opinionated old lady."   "I didn't..."   "Yes, you did, and it's my fault. I made you feel like you had to prove something, and I was wrong." She cleared her throat to stem the tide of emotion building in her. "Now, you calm yourself and fix your face. Let my Francessca and me take care of the dinner..."   "But it's ruined!"   At that moment both woman heard someone at the piano begin to play 'Silent Night'. "Frannie and I will make us all a 'traditional' Vecchio first Christmas dinner. Take a few minutes and then go and join your friends."   "They probably all hate me, I've been such a b----, so cross with all of them."   "You go out there and enjoy yourself. If anyone says anything, they will have your Ma Vecchio to deal with. And I can be pretty formidable when I want to be." She patted Kerri's knee and stood up.   "None of us is perfect, dear, and today has proved that to both of us."   Kerri smiled broadly at the woman as she left the room. Kerri could hear Meg singing from the living room, and could tell immediately when Benton joined in. She had heard both of them sing before, just never together. It was such a beautiful mingling of souls, she knew it was a sound she would never forget. ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~   Renfield stood by the piano, vaguely singing along with the others. He didn't join in with his whole heart for two reasons: first, he couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but second, and more important, he couldn't take his worried eyes off their bedroom door. Whatever Ma Vecchio had said to Kerri, it hadn't caused her to budge.   Mrs. Vecchio had come out of the bedroom with two commands. No one, absolutely no one, was to go in there, and Francessca and she were taking Ray's car and leaving for a few minutes. They would be right back, and no, they would not tell anyone where they were going. Ray definitely did not want to let Frannie use his car, but he also did not want to contend with his mother. He'd seen that look countless times in his life, and his Ma 'didn't raise no dummies'. He knew when to get the heck out of the way.   Renfield had taken his eyes off the door momentarily to turn the page of the music for Meg when Stan elbowed him in the arm and nodded toward the door. Kerri was walking toward them, very slowly, very tentatively.   Renfield could tell she wasn't sure if she was welcome in their presence, so he did the only thing he could think of, he reached out to her and drew her into the group singing around the piano.   The warm smiles from her friends told her that not only was she welcome, but they were glad she had rejoined them. The only one who did not welcome her with his eyes was Stan, who was obviously avoiding meeting her gaze. Just as Kerri began to worry about why he was upset everyone heard Ma and Frannie downstairs.   "Hey up there! Come give us a fist!" They heard her mutter and then yell again, "okay, a hand! Whatever!"   Kerri was about to follow Renny, Ray, Benton and the others when a strong hand grabbed her arm. "Wait a sec, okay?"   "Stan, what is it?" There was so much concern in his eyes it scared her.   "I'm sorry."   "Sorry? For what?"   "I'm sorry I ruined yer dinner. I saw the look on yer face when I smashed the table. I know how important this whole Christmas dinner thing was ta ya..."   Before she could respond a procession of food came up the stairs, and Ma Vecchio started barking out orders. "Stanley, you and Arthur move the real dining room table back in here. Kerri get the silverware, it's all washed and on the kitchen counter. We've got paper plates and napkins, but we'll need some glasses. If you don't have enough, use coffee mugs. Renfield, get some serving dishes and Margaret and Benton, get what's left of Kerri's dinner and bring it to the table. We're having a Vecchio Christmas smorgasbord."   ~~*~~*~~*~~   That night Kerri and Renfield learned about improvisation. The tact that Ma had used all those years ago when she had forgotten to turn on the oven, and the same tact that Frannie had used a few years ago when she'd tried to serve turkey with plastic bag. That tact was to serve what you can salvage and fill in the rest with Chinese.   And so the Turnbull's Christmas menu was amended just slightly. Kerri provided roasted carrots, parsnips, and onions, homemade crescent rolls, cranberry sauce and the best plum pudding anyone had ever tasted (many of them had never actually tasted plum pudding, but if they had, this would have definitely been the best). Meg contributed a slightly melted jell-o salad, and Art brought an apple pie made with apples sent to him by his parents in Washington State. Ray and Stan provided mulled wine, the recipe for which had caused them to almost come to blows. The meal was rounded out by Ma Vecchio and Frannie's addition of chow mien, kung pao chicken, egg rolls and other assorted Chinese delicacies.   Kerri knew that it was the most wonderful meal that had ever been served in her home.   As they gathered around the buffet Renfield said grace. Holding hands the large group of friends bowed their heads as he thanked God. "Heavenly Father, at this busy time of year we often forget the reason that any of us have cause to celebrate. Help us to never forget the Reason for the season, your Son. Thank you for his birth, for giving us a reason for hope and joy, and a source of solace, peace and love. And please bless the loving hands that prepared and provided us with this lovely meal. Amen."   Kerri had never been more proud of her husband than she was at this moment, but she also had something to say. Placing her hand lightly on Stan's eager arm, she prevented him from taking the first spoonful. "I, ah, need to say something too." She looked from one friend to another gathering her nerve. "I need to apologize to all of you." She sighed. "Lance, Art I am very sorry that I was too preoccupied to properly welcome you to our home. Meg, Frannie I have to apologize for the way I spoke to you both earlier. There was no call for me to be so curt with you. And Stan, it's not your fault that the dinner was, ah, interrupted, and I'm really sorry I made you feel like it was."   "But most of all, Renny, I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you the last few weeks. All you wanted to do was help, and all I did was b---, complain. A very wise lady told me just recently that the only perfect thing in this world is love, and I am a very lucky woman. She's a very wise lady." She put her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. "I love you," she whispered.   After a few moments Stan broke the silence as he and Dickens headed up the buffet line. "All right, enough with the mushy stuff. Get outta the way so's we can eat." ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ Epilogue (or Dessert, if you prefer)   The fire crackled and danced in the fireplace, casting a warm amber glow into the darkened room. From where he lounged on the sofa Renfield could watch the snow softly falling just beyond the window that overlooked the street. He smiled slightly as he sipped his eggnog and stared at 'Charlie the Christmas tree'. In the dim firelight the pink garland, sparse limbs and scrawny trunk looked absolutely beautiful. Kerri had done a marvelous job with the twinkle lights, and one could almost imagine a fine, full Douglas fir standing majestically in the corner.   He could hear the soothing music of Christmas carols playing softly on the radio in the background, and the heart-warming sounds of Kerri finishing up in the kitchen. He had never known that such peace and contentment were possible. He was happier than he had ever been, and happier than he believed he had a right to be.   He'd always had a hard time at Christmas, thinking of his baby, his beautiful little daughter who had only seen two Christmases. She would have been twelve years old this year. He couldn't help but wonder what she would have been like. He smiled to himself as he remembered a secret prayer he had prayed all those years ago. He'd prayed that she would grow up to be as graceful as her mother and not as clumsy as her father.   Two Christmases ago he'd allowed himself just a brief wallow in self-pity. Constable Fraser had spent Christmas Eve fussing over the handmade gifts he would give the Vecchio family when he celebrated Christmas with them. Inspector Thatcher planned her trip to visit her relatives in Ontario to the nth degree. Even Detective Kowalski was full of Christmas cheer when he visited the Consulate.   Renfield had been truly happy for them. But he had nothing to celebrate; he had gone home to his tiny apartment alone, without gifts or even a tree. He was almost angry with himself now, for wasting all those years hiding within himself, for allowing everyone to believe that he was just a goofy guy without a brain in his head.   He sighed deeply as he shook off thoughts of Christmases past. He would always miss the family he had lost, but now he had a new life, new friends and a loving wife. Yes, at long last, he was truly happy.   Kerri came up softly behind him and gently put her hands on his shoulders. She massaged his neck tenderly as she stared at their less than perfect Christmas tree. "It's lovely in here isn't it?" she whispered softly, so as not to break the magical spell that had been cast over the room.   "Thank you for making this such a wonderful day." He took hold of her hand and pulled her around the sofa and down on to his lap, where she snuggled as if God had created her for just this moment.   "It did turn out to be very nice, didn't it?" she whispered, and then she giggled, "through no fault of mine, I might add."   "You did a terrific job. We just needed a little help from our friends. We have wonderful friends, you know."   "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" She asked as she snuggled even closer.   "Hmm," he grinned. "Yes, but not nearly often enough." He held her as tightly as he dared, wishing that this moment would never end.   "You drank all your eggnog. You want some more?"   "Not if it means you have to get up." He held her as if he would never let go.   "We'll have to move eventually, you know. Otherwise, someone will find our bones in just this position."   He chuckled. "What a way to go."   "What were you thinking about when I came into the room? You seemed a million miles away."   When he did not respond she rose up slightly and looked at him. "Is something bothering you?"   He hurried to reassure her. "Not really, I was just thinking. Reminiscing, I guess. About all the years I wasted..."   Kerri put her arms around his neck and rested her cheek on his. "No Renny, not wasted -waited. All the years that you waited, all the years that I waited to find the perfect match, the one that God created for us. We waited a very long time," she smiled as she looked into his eyes, shining in the firelight, "but the wait is over. We're finally exactly where God intended us to be."   The End