CHRISTMAS WISH Okay-standard stuff here-All characters of Due South belong to Alliance I am simply borrowing them, though I wish I could keep them they are not mine.  Please do not reproduce or copy this story in anyway without my permission yada yada yada A Christmas story with our two boys. Guest appearance with Monica from Touched by an Angel. Let me know what you think! Rated PG for some language and HC By: Amethyst feedback Christmas Wish          "Do you have an idea what it is you are shopping for, Ray?" Fraser asked as he and the blond detective wound their way through the busy mall. They had just gotten off work, so Fraser still wore his uniform, but Ray was dressed in his usual attire, jeans, maroon sweatshirt and black leather jacket.          "Yah, Fraser." Ray assured as he narrowly avoided a hurrying woman, bent on running over anyone in her path to get that special gift for her kid. "Shouldn't take long. I just been so busy I haven't had a chance to get all my shoppin' done, ya know?" Fraser nodded and resisted telling his partner that he should have done all his Christmas shopping back in October and early November, to avoid the crowds; as Fraser himself had, but Kowalski had a habit of putting of things he didn't like, and the cop did not like shopping.          "Who exactly are you buying for, Ray?' Fraser inquired politely and Ray shot him a playful grin.          "No no, can't ask questions like dat dis time of year, Fraser." He scolded, a mannequin in a lingerie shop caught his eye and he stopped in front of the window, completely forgetting the conversation he had started. Fraser shook his head.          "Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray!"          "What?" Ray finally responding and turning his attention back to the Mountie.          "You were saying, Ray?" he prompted and Ray gave him a confused look.          "About what?"          "Asking questions this time of the year, Ray." Fraser supplied patiently, knowing it would take a few seconds for the detective's over active mind to get back to it's original track.          "Umm...oh, yah!" Ray grinned and they continued their walk. "Yah can't go fishin' for what I got ya." Fraser gave him an innocent look.      "Was I doing that, Ray?' he questioned.          "You know you were, buddy, so don't deny it." Ray taunted. "Besides, I already got yer gift, bought it months ago." Fraser's eyebrows rose, perhaps his assumption of Kowalski's procrastination was in error.          "So then who are we shopping for?" he repeated his earlier question, but Ray's mind had already wandered away again as he spied a pretty woman walking past them. Fraser sighed and waited once again. Sometimes having a conversation with his partner was like surfing on a turbulent ocean, you just had to wait to catch the next wave when the tide turned your way again. Eventually Ray had decided he'd ogled enough women and continued walking, as always picking up where he left off.          "My Mum." He replied, ticking the names off his fingers. "Frannie and Welsh." Fraser nodded complacently.   "My Mum wants one of dem bread makers, so I can pick dat up in a store around the corner from him. Frannie I'll probably get her dat bracelet I saw her lookin' at in a catalog at the station a couple of weeks ago and Welsh I'm getting' him one of dem ships in a bottle thingy's  I over heard him tellin' Dewey he collects them."          "I am sure they will enjoy your selection's very much, Ray." Fraser agreed impressed at the other man's ingenuity in finding out what his friends would like. Ray picked up pieces of information that was filed away for future use, like Fraser picked up on unique scents. "How did you find out what your mother wanted?"          "Dad told me." Ray replied simply Fraser frowned.          "Then why didn't your Father buy her the bread maker?" he asked curious and Ray gave him a, get-real look.          "Ya don't buy yer wife appliances fer Christmas, Fraser." He explained.          "You don't?"          "No, nothin' useful-dat stuff ya buy 'em ya know, just ta buy em' cause she needs em or whatever." Ray lectured. "Ya gotta buy yer wife special things fer Christmas and Valentines and anniversaries, romantic things, ya know?"          "I was not aware of that, Ray." Fraser admitted as they stopped at a jewelry store and Ray went inside. "I do appreciate you telling me that, Ray and should I have a wife in the future I will endeavor to follow your wisdom." Ray nodded and glanced through the counter displays. So what is your father getting for your Mother?" Ray grinned back at him as he leaned over one of the counters to eye the bracelets below.          "You sure are a nosey Parker, Fraser." He teased ignoring the Mounties's innocent look. "He's takin' her on a cruise over the holiday's."          "I am sure she will enjoy that very much." Fraser surmised. "Then are you going to be alone for the holiday's Ray?" Ray shrugged and asked the salesperson to retrieve the dainty looking tennis bracelet he had selected.              "She's always wanted ta go on one." He commented as he examined the bracelet carefully then offered the woman his credit card.          "A wonderful choice, Sir." She smiled at him as she moved to zip his card through the machine. "Your wife will be a very happy woman come Christmas morning."          "It's fer my sister." Ray remarked. "Hang on a minute." She paused and lowered his card as he bent to examine a small gold locket in the display case. "Lemmie see that." He pointed it out and she pulled the locket out of the box and offered it to him. Ray glanced over it, opened it to see where the pictures went, then nodded and handed it back to her. "I'll take dat too, please." The sales woman smiled and added it to his total then charged his card and gave him the slip to sign as she placed the items in individual gift boxes and wrapped them in a small bag.          "Thank you, Sir." She smiled. "Merry Christmas." She turned to Fraser. "Can I help you with anything sir?" Her voice practically purred for him. "For that special someone?" Fraser shook his head and backed away so quickly Ray had to struggle not to laugh.          "Ah...no...no thank you kindly I am with her..ahh him...ah good day." Fraser plopped his hat back on his head and followed Ray out of the shop.          "Another narrow escape for Big Red, from a willing female and the crowd goes wild!" Ray crowed and Fraser glared at him.          "That isn't funny, Ray." He informed coolly, but he wasn't really mad at his partner. At least Kowalski just laughed at the situations; Ray Vecchio always complained or teased Fraser unmercifully about his constant run ins with the opposite sex. American women were so pushy sometimes, far to forward for Fraser to ever be comfortable around them. Ray had started to say something else when the breath was literally knocked out of him as he was almost bowled over by a munchkin cowboy. Fraser caught Ray and Ray caught the boy before they both ended up on the floor as a harried brunette hurried up to them.          "Jared!" she exclaimed angrily as she caught up to her runaway son and caught him by the arm securely. "I told you not to do that." She offered Ray and Fraser an embarrassed smile as she knelt beside her son. "I am so sorry, he isn't usually this wild, but he wants to see Santa and he saw your red uniform and well..." Ray chuckled and looked over at the Mountie.          "Perfectly alright, Ma'am." Fraser offered kindly. "It happens all the time." Ray couldn't help grinning at that as the woman turned to him.          "I really am sorry, did he hurt you?" Ray shook his head.          "No, just surprised me." He assured and winked at the boy. "Mighty fast little guy, didn't even see him comin'." Jared smiled shyly up at him.          "You need to apologize to these men, Jared." His mother told him firmly and the boy did as he was told, unable to meet their eyes while doing so. Ray's heart went out to him and he knelt to face the child.          "Tell ya what, Jared." He reasoned. "I'll forgive ya for almost knockin' me on my..." He glanced up at the woman. "er...on da floor if you'll give me a hand wit somethin'?" Jared glanced up at his mother doubtfully, who seemed to consider it his choice, then back at the detective curious. Finally he nodded. "See, I wanna get an ice cream, ya know one of dem real big sundae things, with different flavors, hot fudge and sprinkles?' Jared nodded wide-eyed. "Well, I can't eat one of those all by myself, so if you'd help me, I'd really owe ya one." Again Jared glanced up at his mother for approval and she nodded, her lips twitching.          "Okay." He agreed shyly and offered his hand to Ray.          "Greatness." The detective declared and handing his bag to Fraser to hold, as he offered the woman a smile.  "We'll be right back, Mum."  Fraser smiled as they walked off toward the Dairy Queen a few feet away, then introduced himself to the woman beside him.          "I'm Anita Porter." She smiled and shook the Mounties hand. "Your friend is very sweet." Fraser nodded as he watched Ray lift the boy onto the counter to choose the ice cream he wanted.          "It is mostly due to his enormous sugar intake I believe." Fraser reasoned and she laughed.          "Is he this easy around all children?" she asked and Fraser bit his lip to keep from laughing, remembering the three children of the female bounty hunter that had handcuffed the detective to a post in the interview room at the station.          "Not always, no." he admitted, tongue in cheek, "But mostly is quite accommodating toward them." Ray of course was sometimes just a big kid himself, so why shouldn't he get along with the younger generation? A moment later, the blond returned with Jared, holding a large waffle cone in each hand.         "We decided to get deese instead." Ray explained handing Fraser a chocolate flavored ice cream as Jared offered his Mother a strawberry one, then licked at his own cookie dough flavored; Ray's was chocolate Mocha.          "Thank you kindly, Ray." Fraser returned as Jared pulled at his mother's shirt.          "Yes darling?" she inquired smiling down at him. She noticed him glance over at Ray again, who nodded discreetly, before speaking to his mother.          "I promise not to run away from you any more, Mama." The little boy vowed solemnly. "I don't wanna get lost or make you sad, so I'll even hold your hand if ya want, when we're out." Anita gave Ray a surprised look.          "We had a little chat about runnin' around crowded malls." He explained. "Right, kid?" Jared nodded.         "Ray's a policeman, Mama an' he says if I ever do get lost I have'ta look for a policeman an' have him find you, but I won't get lost Mama because I'm gonna stay right beside you." Anita hugged her son, careful of the ice cream he held.          "That sounds like a great idea, honey." She agreed once again glancing at the detective. "Thank you." Ray shrugged.          "No, problem. Merry Christmas." He turned to his partner. "Pitter patter, Fraser-let's get at'er." He remarked as he and Fraser both finished their ice creams and he gave Ray back his bag of shopping. Anita rose to her feet and caught the Mounties's arm.          "Could I...um...could I have your number or something?"          "You can reach me at the Canadian Consulate, Ma'am." He informed, then glanced knowingly toward the blond already a few feet ahead of him "And Detective Vecchio can be reached at the 27th Precinct Police Department." She smiled shyly and released his arm.          "Thank you, Merry Christmas."          "Merry Christmas to you as well. Have a nice evening." He donned his hat again and hurried to catch up with his partner.           "You have to come Ray." insisted Francesca Vecchio, as she gathered her belongings from her desk, preparing to leave the 27th precinct for the day. The man posing as her brother shook his head adamantly as he shrugged into his jacket then helped her on with hers.         "I told'ya Frannie." he protested. "I ain't a church person- they make me nervous."         "But it's Christmas Mass, Ray." Francesca pressed as they headed out of the station to the parking lot behind the building where both their cars were parked. "My brother has never missed the midnight service at Christmas, it will look strange if you don't go."         "It will look strange if I do go, Frannie." he insisted as he stopped beside her car and waited for her to fish out her keys, glancing around them warily as was his habit-he didn't stop being a cop just because his shift ended. "The people at da church know da real Ray, dey'd get suspicious if I showed up. Face it, I don't even look like him."         "They won't have to know who you are, Ray..." Frannie started to explain as she unlocked her car and Ray held the door open for her, pouncing on her opening.         "If dey don't know who I am, what does it mater if I ain't dere?"  He reasoned and she sighed in exasperation.         "Fraser is coming."         "Good fer Fraser."         "Ray, please." she pleaded quietly. "There will be some people there that will expect my brother to show, and they don't necessarily know what he looks like- they just know the whole Vecchio family attends." She met his gaze gently. "Ma wants ya to come, please?"         "No, Frannie." Ray refused softly, as she slid in behind the wheel of her small sports car. "I'm sorry but I can't." She shook her head as he closed the door and headed to his own car. He waited until she had started to pull out of the lot, then he got inside his own vehicle and headed for home.         Fraser was out of town on Consulate Business and wouldn't be back until tomorrow, so Ray decided to grab some take out and spend a quiet evening at home. Upon his arrival, Diefenbaker, whom he had agreed to watch while Fraser was out of town, immediately greeted him. He quickly removed his jacket and holsters, making himself comfortable, fed his turtle and put some more food and water down for the wolf, Promising to walk him later, then turned the lights on his small table top tree that his Mother had set up one day while he was at work. There were three packages under the tree, one for Fraser, one for Dief, the other was for him from his parents; again his mother had left it.         He picked up the guide and flipped through it as he listened to the messages on his machine. Two were from his Mother who was worrying about how he was spending the holidays, since they had gone back to Arizona to stay with their friends for Christmas. One was from Stella, who had heard the Kowalski's would be out of town and offered to let Ray come to a dinner party she was holding Christmas Eve night. Ray didn't consider that offer, knowing it was only her conscience making her call him at all. The last one was Fraser, telling Ray what time his flight got in tomorrow and if he could pick him up at the airport. Ray erased his messages and dropped the guide-nothing good on, so he'd eat his food then take Dief for a walk and maybe rent some videos.         Ray lay in his bed that night, unable to sleep, despite the warmth and companionship Dief was offering by curling up next to him in the bed. Was he depressed? He didn't think so, he'd spent the holidays alone plenty of times before and it never really bothered him, and well, except that first year after he and Stella divorced. He didn't know if he was lonely or just bored. Tomorrow he'd pick Fraser up and take him to the Consulate, maybe have a quick meal with him, then drop him at the Vecchio's for dinner and mass. They had invited him as well, of course, but as usual Ray refused all invitations, it was just the way he was. He wanted no one's pity, he was a bachelor and he lived alone, spent holidays alone, and that was okay with him. He didn't know why so many people made such a big deal out of Christmas; it was just another day to Ray. He was startled when his phone rang and he quickly reached for it, wondering who would be calling him this late.         "Yah?" he greeted curious.         "Raymond?" inquired Mrs. Vecchio's soft voice and Ray dropped back on the pillows, swallowing a groan.         "Yah, Mrs...er..Ma." It still took him a bit to get used to calling the older Italian woman Ma, despite his assignment.         "Are you sleeping dear? Did I wake you?"         "No, I wasn't asleep, Ma." he assured quickly. "What can I do fer ya?"         "My Francesca says you will not be joining us tomorrow and I would like to know why?" Ray sighed.         "I already told her...I already explained ta Frannie, Ma." he commented. "I ain't a church person."         "That does not mean that you cannot come to dinner, Raymond." she admonished. "We will not make you pray for your food if you so not wish to." Ray smiled a little. "Bentino will be there and since my real son is so far away I must have as many of my children around me at this time. I am an old woman and set in my ways, but I wish for all of my loved ones to be around my table at Christmas."         "I ain't yer real son, Ma." Ray reminded quietly and he heard her tsk at him.         "You and Bentino!" she exclaimed and let loose a string of Italian. Finally in English she continued. "I forgive you Raymond because you are not Italian, as I forgave Bentino when he did this same thing. You and he are like my own and I want you near me, with the family. They care for you both and it is time to share with your loved ones. If you must believe me to be a crazy old woman than do so but I wish you to come to dinner tomorrow and I will not take no for an answer."         "I appreciate yer invitin' me Ma, but I..."         "Have you other plans?"         "No, but..."         "Then you will come. "Mrs. Vecchio decided. "I mean it Raymond. You may not be my blood but I will have no trouble putting you over my knee if you refuse any longer. You will come to dinner with Bentino, perhaps stay the night so that in the morning we can exchange gifts and I will not allow anyone to mention the mass to you. Now you will come, yes?" Ray sighed. How did you fight a woman like this?         "Okay, ma." he conceded. "I give. You win. I'll stay fer dinner." He heard her gentle chuckle vibrate over the line.         "I knew you would not hurt an old woman's feelings, Raymond." she almost purred and Ray laughed.         "Yer not old, Ma." he insisted. "Yer beautiful an' if I thought I had a chance wit ya..."         "Stop such nonsense!" she exclaimed but he could tell she was smiling at his flirtation. "Save your flattery for the pretty ones your age, Raymond. I will see you tomorrow night. Sweet dreams my pet."         "Night Ma." Ray returned and promptly hung up, still smiling. Amazingly he drifted off to sleep rather quickly after that.            Ray was late picking up Fraser because of a case he was working on, but the Mountie had waited on him patiently, as it was only a few minutes, and soon they were on their way to the Consulate.          "Are you attending the Christmas dinner at the Vecchio's, Ray?" he inquired as he watched his partner maneuver through the crowded streets, everyone was out doing last minute shopping and traffic as a mess.          "I was gonna, but I dunno If I'm gonna get da chance, Frase." Ray commented as he turned a corner. "I'm gonna let you get changed den I'll drop you at Frannie's, on my way back to da precinct." Fraser frowned.          "Is it something I can assist with, Ray?" He asked readily, not wanting his friend to be working alone through Christmas.          "No, I got it covered, just y'know some loose ends." Ray assured as they pulled up to the Consulate just as Ray's cell phone rang. "Vecchio." He paused for a moment then tossed the phone to Fraser as the Mountie released Diefenbaker from the back seat. "Fer you."          "This is Constable Fraser." He greeted politely as they headed up the steps to the Consulate, after Ray retrieved Fraser's bag from the trunk. "Ah, hello, Francesca." Ray smirked at the sudden nervous look in his friend's eyes as Fraser unlocked the large doors and they stepped inside. Turnbull and Thatcher had closed the Consulate for the holidays and so were not there. "Certainly, I will. Indeed. Thank you kindly Francesca, I will see you then." He pressed the end button and exchanged the phone for the large duffel that Ray was holding.          "What'd Frannie want?" he asked curious as he slid the phone back in his pocket and followed Fraser to his office.          "She asked if I would pick up a bottle of wine for dinner, Tony apparently forgot when they asked him earlier." Fraser replied as he dropped his bag in the corner and started to remove his uniform while Ray closed the door and turned toward the wall politely to examine some parchment of Canada hanging there. " She also asked that I remind you of your promise to Mrs. Vecchio, Ray."          "I didn't promise anything, Fraser." Ray stated automatically as his partner changed. "I said I would come, but now I gotta get something else outta da way first."          "Ray." Fraser scolded and the detective turned to find Fraser dressed in gray wool dress slacks and a red turtleneck sweater, damn but he could dress fast.          "No, really, Fraser." Ray implied and Fraser was tempted to believe him. "I'll try ta get by later on, but tell' em not to wait on me."          "You promise to come by if you can, Ray?" Fraser questioned firmly and the blond nodded. That was good enough for the Mountie, so far the detective had never broken his word to him. "Alright, I will explain to Mrs. Vecchio, but she will be very upset if you don't show, Ray."          "I'll do what I can." Ray vowed and meant it. He really wasn't trying to get out of dinner, something in one of his cases had come up and he just needed to take care of it. "Ya ready?" Fraser nodded, shrugged into his bomber jacket and grabbed his Stetson. He picked up a bag that had been placed at the end of the bed, which Ray assumed contained gifts for the Vecchio's.          "Could you recommend a good wine, Ray?" Fraser asked as the three were settled in the GTO once more. Ray nodded.          "Yah, I know a place, I'll run in an' get it fer you buddy."          "Thank you kindly, Ray." Fraser returned. Ray was driving slower than usual, out of respect for the conditions, though Fraser trusted his friends driving skills undoubtedly. They stopped to purchase a couple of bottles of wine, then headed toward the street where the Vecchio's lived. Ray pulled out a small wrapped package from his back seat and tossed it to Fraser. "What's this?"         "Yer Christmas gift ya dope." Ray grinned, never taking his eyes from the road. "I wanted ta give it to ya here instead of...well, I ain't much fer crowd's Frase." The Mountie nodded in understanding; Ray could be a very private person at times.         "Would you like me to open it now, Ray?"         "No, Fraser." Ray retorted sarcastically, but with a grin to remove the sting from his words. "I want ya ta hold on to it and open it next forth of July. Of course I want ya ta open it now, why else would I give it to ya?" Fraser hid his smile and started to carefully unwrap the package.         "If you insist, Ray." he returned calmly, receiving a mild glare from his partner. Fraser pulled the paper away and opened the top of the heavy box, then gasped as he pulled out the snow globe.          The base was like a snow-covered mountaintop that had Northwest Territories of Canada etched in sparkling gold across them. The glass held a Mountie and a wolf standing beside a small log cabin with a team of sled dogs behind them, in a frozen tundra. It looked so much like home that for a moment Fraser felt tears form in his eyes as if he were almost transported back. Ray was glancing at him warily, gagging his reaction, but the Canadian remained silent as he continued to stare at the scene in his hands.         "It's one of dem snow globes." Ray offered, feeling he had to explain it, since Fraser was still saying nothing. "I gotta friend on the east side dat make's em and I asked him ta order me one from the northwest Areas, ya know fer the base and den I had him add da other stuff, da wolf and da cabin, ya told me about yer Dad's cabin." Still Fraser said nothing. "Ya turn it upside down and it looks like it's snowin'."         "Ray I..." Fraser began, finally finding his voice. He didn't know what to say how to express how much the gift meant to him. The very idea that Ray had gone to so much trouble, he knew the globes were not by an any means inexpensive, but to have one practically custom made would be very pricey indeed. Ray took his speechlessness for a sign that he didn't like the gift.         "Ya don't gotta keep it, Fraser.' he quickly insisted. "I mean, it is kinda a kid's gift really, I just thought..."         "No, Ray!" Fraser exclaimed quickly cradling the globe in one hand as he reached across and placed the other on Ray's shoulder. "I...I love it! I...I just...it's so..wonderful I don't know what to say. Thank you very much, Ray. I shall treasure it always." Ray gave him a dubious glance, then finally smiled and nodded as he decided the Canadian was speaking the truth.         "Good." he commented as he pulled into the Vecchio's driveway. "I'm glad ya like it Frase." Ray was surprised when, the moment he switched off the engine,  Francesca and Mrs. Vecchio hurried out the door toward them.          "You are here!" Mrs. Vecchio exclaimed delighted. "And early, so nice we can all visit."          "I can't stay, Ma." Ray announced as Fraser let Dief out of the car and he rolled down his window to hear the older woman. He watched her face fall in despair and was quick to explain. "I'm droppin Fraser off early because I have ta go back to da precinct, and I'll be late fer dinner."          "Then you are still spending Christmas with us, Raymond?" She asked hopefully ignoring the glare Francesca was giving him.          "Sure, I'll be back," he promised.  "Just, y'know later, so don't hold dinner fer me or anything."          "Are you sure I cannot assist you, Ray?" Fraser offered again. "Perhaps we could get through faster if both..."          "I gotta go." He refused with a shake of his head, then to Mrs. Vecchio. "I promise I will come by tonight, okay?" She nodded, also sure of his word, as Fraser had been then stood back and allowed him to back out of the driveway. Francesca folded her arms across her chest.          "He won't be back." She stated angrily and Mrs. Vecchio reached across to smack her arm.          "He promised me, Francesca and Raymond never breaks his promises." She stated as they headed into the house, Fraser gently taking her arm to keep her from slipping on the icy path. He would come out and shovel it, to keep anyone from falling, as soon as he dropped his things off inside.          "He's not our Ray, Ma." Francesca insisted once inside the warmth of the house. "Just because my brother never broke a promise to you doesn't mean..."          "We will speak no more or this, Francesca." Her mother decided firmly. "Raymond has a good heart and he would not intentionally hurt anyone by telling lies."          "He's a walking lie, Ma." Francesca stated. "His whole life here is a lie because he is pretending to be Ray, your son. He's only playing a part, don't you get it? He doesn't care about us, not like Ray does, he's just doing his job."          "That will be enough Francesca!" Mrs. Vecchio declared angrily and even Fraser jumped a little but Francesca was too far-gone to stop.          "NO!" she cried out. "It isn't enough Ma. His name is Stanley Kowalski, he is not Ray Vecchio, and I don't care that he has to pretend to be my brother, I don't want him to be in our lives! He's a fake and a fraud and I hate him!" Fraser flinched in shock as Mrs. Vecchio's hand made contact with her daughter's cheek, the older woman was shaking with rage and Fraser discreetly found the shovel in the hall closet and stepped back outside to give privacy to the family argument.          "You will not speak of hate in this house!" she proclaimed. "Your brother made his choice, he did what he felt he had to do and there is nothing we can do about it but pray he will be safe and come home to us soon. That young man that has taken Raimundo's place had given up everything to protect your brother from harm, a man he does not even know. He has assumed the roll of care giver and head of this family."          "He's not..." Francesca cried as tears rolled down her cheeks.          "He will be considered the head of this household as long as he holds your brother's name, Francesca." Mrs. Vecchio decided. "He signed Raimundo's name on the insurance to get us this new home when ours burned, he co-sighed the loan for your car, he..."          "But he has to do that for his cover, Ma!" Francesca wailed. Mrs. Vecchio stared at her daughter for a long moment, when she spoke again her voice was subdued, even a little sad.          "That is true, little one." She admitted. "He does sign your brother's papers and take care of legalities for us, but he did not need to assume your brother's responsibilities, as he has done. He did not need to purchase a new water heater for us when ours broke, he did not need to come by and help your brother in law Tony fix his car last week on his own time, without desired payment for his service. He did not have to find out your niece and nephew's birthdays as he has done and sent them each a gift and he did not need to help Maria put up the Christmas lights, as Raimundo used to do for us." She took a deep breath. "This man has accepted that we are Raymond Vecchio's family and as his family we are his responsibility and he must take care of us. He asks for nothing in return Francesca, nothing, but the knowledge that he is making it easier for us with your brother gone and perhaps helps us to miss him a little less."         "But Ma..." Francesca sobbed.          "To say that you hate this man is a tragedy, little one." Mrs. Vecchio continued. "For he has done nothing to deserve your hate, other than not being your brother."          "I..I miss, Ray, Ma!" Francesca sobbed and was instantly taken into her Mother's embrace.          "I know you do, my darling." She whispered. "We all do, but there is nothing we can do about that now. It is Christmas, time to forgive." She wiped her daughter's tears. "Forgive this man for not being your brother, Francesca, open your heart to him, for he deserves your love and your respect." Francesca nodded and wiped at her tears. She had seen Fraser leave and felt terrible that he had witnessed her shameful behavior, so she quickly got a cup of hot cider, pulled on her coat and stepped outside.          Fraser had removed his coat and hat, it was settled against the porch railing, as he continued to clear the path. He had it mostly done already and for a moment Francesca just stood and watched him, for once not having the courage to approach him. Finally he stopped and turned, heading back to the porch. He lowered his eyes from the red mark on her cheek where her mother had slapped her, as he set the shovel against the stoop and stepped up to her.          "I...I brought you some..er cider." She offered. "To..to warm you up." He took the cup from her graciously.          "Thank you kindly, Francesca." He replied quietly taking a sip as he leaned against the framework. Francesca continued to ramble.          "I...Ma told Tony to clear the walk, but you know him-it takes and act of God to get him outta that chair." Fraser nodded but said nothing. "We appreciate you doing it, Frase, Ma will probably give ya a kiss and stuff fer it."          "Most likely." Fraser agreed calmly, as he continued to stare out at the lighted houses on the street. "But then, I would do almost anything for one of your Mother's kisses or hugs, Francesca." Francesca smiled a little.          "Me too." She revealed shyly. "Um..about what I said. I..I hope you don't think...I mean I like Ray okay I just..."          "I miss Ray too, Francesca." Fraser offered gently as his eyes finally settled on her and she lifted tear filled eyes to his. She hesitated for perhaps only a second, before moving into his embrace, glad for once that the Mountie didn't stiffen up or push her away.          "You understand, don't you Benton?" she sniffed and Fraser nodded, his free arm coiling around her as the other still held his cider.          "I do." He agreed. "But please don't take it out on Ray...er Stan. He is doing his job, but he...he really does care about all of you, like you were his own." Francesca nodded.          "I know." She sighed finally pulling away, not wanting to push her luck and have the Mountie grow uncomfortable. "Do you think he'll come back tonight?"          "I believe he will do his best, Francesca." Fraser stated as she shivered slightly in the cool night air. "Let's go back inside where it is warm." She smiled slightly.           "Being with you makes me plenty warm, Frase." She teased and bowed her head at going to far as she saw the blush rise in his cheeks, but instead of his usual stammering he just gave her an indulgent smile and collected his hat and coat.          "The feeling is mutual, Francesca." He assured, surprising her as he opened the front door and waited for her to enter.          Ray walked up to the house, brightly decorated with Christmas allure, and raised his hand to knock on the door, just as it was thrown open by Francesca, who threw herself into his arms and pressed her lips to his in a quick but inviting kiss. Ray almost slipped in the fresh snow on the steps as he struggled to hold on to his bearings and the tiny woman in his arms.         "Francesca!" Mrs. Vecchio admonished from behind and Frannie finally slipped from Ray's arms. "Let him come inside it is cold. You will chase him away before he has eaten."         "But Ma!" whined Francesca winking at Ray and Fraser, who stood just inside the door behind then. "It's tradition!" Ray glanced up at the mistletoe where she pointed as she stepped back and pulled him inside finally. Fraser seemed to be struggling with a smile at his partner's sudden color and Ray glared at him. The detective looked quite sharp in black dress slacks, a red silk shirt with black leather tie and his black leather waist jacket. His hair was still a little on the wild side, but it was what made him unique and Fraser was quite impressed that the blond had gone to such trouble with his appearance.         "Warn a guy next time, Frannie." he muttered as Maria handed him a tissue slyly, to wipe her sister's lipstick from his lips. Francesca giggled.         "Where's the fun in that?" she remarked and Ray shook his head.         "You'll have to forgive my sister." Maria commented as Ray handed her the wine he had brought, which Fraser had accidentally left in his car earlier. "She gets like this every Christmas." Ray grunted and was wrapped in a warm hug from Mrs. Vecchio as Fraser offered to take his coat and hang it up.         "I am so glad that you have decided to join us." she gushed kissing both his cheeks. "Dinner is ready come and sit."          "I'm sorry I'm late, I got here..." Ray began but was silenced by Mrs. Vecchio with a wave of her hand.          "You are here and that is all that matters." She stated warmly. Everyone drifted into the dining room, where the table was piled high with turkey and all the fixings. Ray greeted Tony, who decided to grace him with their presence from where he had been perched by the TV in the living room. Fraser helped Maria settle the kids in their seats and Ray offered to pour the wine, omitting his and Fraser's glass purposefully, as Marie gave the kids milk. Then they all settled at the table, after Francesca fetched water for Ray and Fraser, then bowed their heads for grace.         "You just thought you wouldn't have to pray fer yer supper." Francesca teased Ray as she took hold of his hand and Fraser's who sat on the other side of her. Fraser offered her a small smile, the woman was trying very hard to make up for her earlier behavior, even though Ray had no clue what had been said about him. Ray grinned when Ma shot her daughter a reproving look, and Francesca immediately bowed her head.         "Bentino, would you say the blessing please." Mrs. Vecchio requested quietly and Fraser complied with a soft moving prayer of thanks.         During the meal, everyone made small talk, except Ray, who was strangely quiet, answering only questions directed solely at him. He wasn't eating very much and Fraser noticed he was using his left hand to eat, which was odd because Ray was right handed. The detective seemed more interested in watching Maria's daughter pick at her vegetables beside him. He leaned down and whispered in her ear.         "What's wrong?" She looked up at him sadly.         "I don't like these kind." she sighed contritely and he held back a smile.         "You like turkey, right?"         "Oh yes."         "And dressing?"         "Sure."         "Want me to show you a trick I use when I have'ta eat something I don't like?" he asked softly and she nodded her head intrigued. Unaware that the anyone was watching, because of the volume of noise at the table, Ray took her fork and took some of her turkey,  a few vegetables and some dressing and offered it to her. She gave him a skeptical look and he smiled. "Try it. If ya surround what ya don't like with foods ya do, you can't taste it as much." She opened her mouth and accepted the offering, chewed thoughtfully, then smiled at him delighted. He gave her back her fork and she did the same thing as he, then took another mouthful.         "Cool." she remarked and Ray grinned and glanced up, surprised to find everyone's attention on him.         "What?" he asked startled, receiving a warm smile from Maria and Mrs. Vecchio.         "Would you like some more to eat, Raymond?' Ma asked also noticing his plate was almost full still, and he declined.         "No thank you." he refused. "I'm good. It was delicious though." She frowned for a moment then smiled brightly at him as he started to push back from the table.          "Perhaps desert then?" she suggested knowing his weakness for sweets and was disappointed when he shook his head and rose to his feet.           "I hate ta eat and run but..."          "You can't leave yet!" protested Francesca. "We all get to open one of our gifts tonight and then the rest tomorrow." Ray shook his head as he stood.         "I ain't stayin' fer dat, but thanks fer da meal, Ma. Merry Christmas ta everybody." Mrs. Vecchio sent Fraser and imploring look and the Mountie quickly excused himself and followed Ray out. Ray was acting strangely and Fraser could swear that he saw the detective wince a time or two during dinner.          "Ray. Ray. Ray!" Fraser called and finally the detective turned, as he pulled his jacket from the hall closet. "Why are you rushing off? Ma would like you to stay."          "I just gotta go, Frase." Ray replied shrugging into his jacket.          "Where are you going, Ray?' Fraser pressed. "I'll come with you."          "No!" Ray refused adamantly. "Stay here with the Vecchio's, they want you to stay.          "They want you to stay as well but you are leaving, so why shouldn't I?"          "Don't pull yer physiology crap on me Fraser. I'm not in da mood."          "Ray," Fraser sighed following the detective outside. "Why are you so determined to be alone at Christmas? I have spent many holidays alone and I know from experience that it is not pleasant." Ray regarded him quietly, he had forgotten that Fraser had no family, accept the Vecchio's, who more or less adopted him. But that was because of the Real Ray Vecchio and Ray felt like a fraud, an interloper in the family and Christmas made him feel more the outsider. He couldn't explain it he just felt that way. He opened his mouth to explain when his cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and answered, again Fraser noticed he used his left hand, rather awkwardly.          "Ray?" came Stella's voice on the other end. "Where are you? Are you coming to my dinner party?" Ray swore quietly, he had forgotten to call her back and decline, actually he just hadn't wanted her to talk him into it.          "Hey, Stella, no I ain't comin'. "He refused quietly. "Sorry I meant ta call ya and fergot."          "You have other plans then?"          "Yah, sure."          "Like what?" she demanded. "And don't lie to me Ray I can always tell when you're lying to me." Ray grimaced.          "I'm at the Vecchio's havin' dinner, Stella." He commented, which was true, she didn't have to know he was fixing to leave.          "Are you really?" she sounded pleased. "Good. I didn't want you to be alone, Ray."          "Yah., I know, well I'm not, okay?"          "Okay." Agreed Stella convinced. "Ray?"          "Yah, Stella?"          "I...I hope you have a good Christmas, Ray." She finally said.          "You too Stella." He offered quietly. "I lo...Merry Christmas Stella."          "Merry Christmas Ray." Stella returned disappointed. Ray hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. Fraser regarded him quietly, wishing he could help ease the pain his friend was going through. Fraser did not like Stella much, she was always hurting Ray, and everyone could see how much he still loved and adored her.          "If you could make one wish this Christmas, Ray." Fraser suddenly asked. "What would it be?" Ray stared at him a moment, then shrugged.          "Peace on earth good will toward men, I suppose." Ray teased. "Of course then we'd be outta a job." Fraser offered him a smile. "I bet I know what yer wish would be, Frase."          "Do you, Ray?" Fraser asked curious. "And what would that be?"          "That Vecchio was back." Fraser stared at him surprised and he smirked. "That would probably be every body here's Christmas wish," He offered a wry smile. "Except maybe Frannie, she'd wish ta get you between da sheets, Frase." Fraser blushed, and frowned.          "Though I do wish that Ray Vecchio could be home with us safe and sound, Ray." He began seriously. "That is not my Christmas wish, nor do I believe it would be absolutely everyone else's either. Ma, perhaps, naturally she misses her son greatly, but we all wish for different things. Ray shrugged.          "Admit it or not, ya miss Vecchio and I bet ya wish he were here instead of me."          "I do miss Ray Vecchio." Fraser agreed easily. "But I do not wish he were here instead of you. You are my friend and my partner, Ray, regardless of the reasons you are here. I would miss you just as much if you were no longer around."          "You really mean that, Fraser?"          "Of course, Ray."          "I don't understand why. All I do is remind everyone that Vecchio isn't here." Ray sighed.  "How can anyone even stand ta be around me."          "You will no longer use my son as an excuse, Raymond." Mrs. Vecchio suddenly interrupted and both men turned to her startled. She walked up to Ray and he felt heat sting his cheeks. He didn't mean for her to hear that, he didn't want to hurt her.          "Ma I..." he began but she silenced him with a raised hand.          "My Raimundo took that assignment because he felt he should do so. It was not easy for him to leave as he did, leave behind his loved ones, but he did so because he is a good man and a good policeman." She stated boldly. "They replaced him with you, though I do not understand why as you do not even look Italian, but it was done just the same and I am grateful. You protect my son's presence, you take on his identity to keep him from harm, with no thought to your own well being. I will not listen to you berate yourself another moment longer. You have sacrificed just as much as my son, you were both hurt and troubled by this change, but you will not use my Raimundo as an excuse to keep us from caring about you, it is too late for that. We do care for you, as you are not who you pretend to be." Ray stared at her for a long moment, then averted his eyes.          "I'm sorry if I angered you." He replied softly. "I just want to leave."          "Bentino asked you your Christmas wish, I want to know as well." She remarked. "You will tell me what it is you, Stanley Kowalski wish for this Christmas." Ray shook his head.          "I can't tell you that, Ma." He refused. "Please, understand I don't want to hurt you."      "You will tell me, you cannot refuse a old woman."          "This time I must."      "Tell me Raymond." Ray shook his head, as he tried to reign in his temper, he just wanted to go home for Christ's' sakes. She moved to take him into her arms again, as was her way and was startled when he quickly avoided her.          "I...I just have'ta go home now, okay?" he reasoned, offering her an apologetic smile when he saw the hurt in her eyes from his actions. He started to back down the steps toward his car. "I...I'm sorry fer..." He shook his head and hurried to his car, despite Fraser's calling for him. He slid behind the wheel just as the Mountie reached in before the door closed and grasped his shoulder.          "Ray, don't..." Fraser began and watched Ray's sharp gasp of pain. "Ray, what is it? Are you hurt?"          "Jesus, Fraser!" he exclaimed. "Can't ya just let me go?" Fraser pulled the door open further and leaned down toward his partner's pale face.          "What has happened, Ray?" he demanded. "Are you injured?" Ray bit his lip and nodded, glancing back apprehensively at the Vecchio women standing concerned in the doorway.          "I hurt my shoulder, Frase." Ray admitted quietly as Fraser pulled back his jacket and moved to unbutton Ray's shirt. Ray slapped his hand away. "I'm fine."          "Let me see, Ray." Fraser encouraged firmly, but Ray just pulled his jacket closer around him.          "It's freezin' out here." He stated. "We'll play show and tell later."          "Ray? Come inside and..."          "I cannot go back in there, Fraser." Ray refused. "I...Just move and let me go home, will ya?"          "No I will not, Ray." Fraser declined.          "I swear I will kick ya in da head if ya don't."          "What happened to your wish for good will toward men, Ray?" Fraser returned and the detective sighed in defeat as Francesca joined them, her teeth chattering as she hugged herself for warmth.          "Come back in side, it's cold out here!" she declared to them both.          "I was just leavin'." Ray insisted. "Fraser, take Frannie inside before she catches cold." Fraser started to rise, knowing the detective was going to be stubborn, but then Francesca leaned down to speak to him.          "I need you to be here, Ray." She informed quietly. "Yer the closest thing to a brother I got right now."          "What about Tony?" Ray demanded peevishly.          "Tony isn't a brother he's a piece of the furniture."          "What about Fraser?"          "I do not think of Fraser as my brother, Ray-everyone knows that." She stated and Fraser blushed.          "I ain't yer brother either, Frannie." Ray replied.          "No, but I want ya to be, please, please come back inside Ray." Ray leaned his forehead against the wheel and bit his lip. The pain killers he had taken were already starting to wear off and it was all he could do to keep from passing out, especially since everyone seemed to be all touchy feely with him suddenly. If he didn't leave now he wouldn't make the drive home, if he stayed they would find out he was hurt and when he was in pain he became a bit of an asshole.          "Go on inside, Francesca." Fraser suggested firmly. "I will bring Ray along in a moment." The woman hesitated, then finally nodded and moved away. He waited until she and the others had gone back inside then spoke to Ray again. "Is it bad, Ray?" Ray swallowed convulsively, he couldn't hide it now if he wanted to, and nodded,          "Hurts, Fraser." He admitted, finally.          "What happened?"          "Me and the Duck Boys were takin' down some bad guys, got a knife in da shoulder, when I was strugglin' wit one of em, didn't see da one comin' from behind." Fraser frowned and shook his head.          "Have you been to the hospital, Ray?" he asked, knowing full well that his partner avoided that place like the morgue, so he wasn't surprised when the blond shook his head.          "Christmas Eve, Pal, place'd be swarmin wit people worse off." Ray reasoned, he was starting to shiver. "I..I didn't wanna miss dinner, I promised."          "Didn't Leftenant Welsh tell you to go to the hospital?"          "Sure, and I told him I would," Agreed Ray. "Just didn't say when." Fraser scowled and straightened.          "I'll drive you to the hospital, Ray." Fraser decided. "Just let me get my coat." Ray caught his arm, despite the pain the action caused him.          "Don't wanna go to the hospital, Frase." He stated. "It's just a scratch, really. Please don't go makin' a fuss?"          "Ray you..." Fraser started to protest but the blond cut him off.          "Don't....just take me home, drive me home, Frase?" he requested, gritting his teeth to bear the pain. "Ya can take the car and come back here after, just...don't tell Ma I'm hurt. Don't ruin it fer her, please?" After a moment's hesitation the Mountie nodded, helped Ray move over to the passenger side and went to retrieve his things. He didn't want to lie, so he just told them Ray was over tired after a long day's work and just needed to rest. He promised to return for Christmas Mass, accepted some extra food in a Tupperware container for Ray from Ma, then headed out.          Ray was in terrible pain, when Fraser pulled up to his friend's apartment building, and the Mountie was tempted to take him to the emergency room after all, but the detective had already started to stumble out of the car. Fraser helped him get to his apartment, then settled him on the sofa and returned to close the door.          "Let me look at it, Ray." He demanded quietly as he helped his partner off with his coat, his shirt was already darkened with the stain of blood across his right shoulder, as he carefully pulled off Ray's tie and unbuttoned his shirt. Ray attempted to help but was almost out of it at this point. Fraser hid his shock as he pulled back the soaked bandage and gauze that Ray had placed over the gaping wound. A dark slash, deep slash marred the back of his right shoulder just below his collarbone. He would need stitches surely, and Fraser would definitely take him to the hospital tomorrow, but for now he would abide by Ray's wishes.          "See, just a scratch." Ray joked weakly as he witnessed his partner's concern. Fraser grunted and rose to collect the first aid kit that he knew Ray kept in his bathroom. Luckily, because Ray hated hospitals so much, it also inclined him to have a wide assortment of antibiotic creams, bandages and so forth, which he preferred to use himself. Fraser was surprised to even find a suture gun in the cabinet and he wondered where Ray had gotten in.          "This is going to sting, Ray." He warned as he dabbed the wound with peroxide, watching the detective grab onto the sofa arm and grit his teeth against the pain. Fraser quickly cleaned the wound and applied the antibiotic cream. He indicated the instrument he had found and Ray nodded, so he quickly stitched the wound, trying not to wince himself at Ray's obvious agony and the slow metal sounding click if the stapler. Finally he prepared a dressing and taped a fresh bandage to Ray's shoulder. Ray looked like he was going to pass out at any moment, his face was pale and gleaned with sweat and his eyes were closed wearily. Fraser retrieved a glass of juice and helped Ray swallow the a couple of the extra strength Tylenol he had also found in the cabinet.          "T...thanks Frase." Ray managed to whisper as Fraser helped him to lay back on the sofa and pulled off his boots for him. He fetched a blanket from Ray's bed and placed it over the trembling man. "Y..You can go on....back now."          "I told the Vecchio's I would meet them for midnight mass, later, Ray." Fraser informed as he re-packed the first aid kit, leaving it on the table in case they should need it. "I have time to stay awhile. Where did you get the suture stapler?" Ray smiled weakly and his eyes fluttered open          "L..last time I was in da hospital-one a da nurses took pity on me and told me where I could buy one." He croaked, he was still hurting badly and it seemed to take a great deal of effort just to think straight. "B...been doin' my own work fer awhile now."          "That isn't healthy, Ray." Fraser scolded as he settled into the armchair. "You should be seen my professionals."          "I am a professional." Ray declared dazed and Fraser fought the grin that threatened to form on his lips.          "You are a professional police officer, Ray." He reminded. "Not a Doctor."          "Tomato, toh-mah-toh, Benton buddy." He sighed sleepily and Fraser was glad it seemed the pills were finally allowing him to relax a little.          "Go to sleep, Ray." He suggested quietly, but Ray shifted his head to look at him.          "Sorry fer ruinin' yer Christmas, Frase." He whispered and Fraser shook his head and moved to settle on the floor next to him so his partner wouldn't have to crane his neck to see him.          "You haven't ruined anything, Ray." He assured kindly. Ray was quiet for a long moment, his eyes, closed and Fraser thought he had drifted off, but then those steel blue eyes opened again and he spoke once more.          "You really wanna know my wish, Fraser?" he asked, his voice slightly slurred, but his eyes were fully alert. What I really want?"          "Yes, Ray." Fraser accepted easily.          "You'll hate me." Ray sighed and Fraser shook his head.          "I will never hate you, Ray."          "I kinda wish Vecchio to never come back."  Ray stated as Fraser swallowed his shock and remained silent. "I don't wish him dead or even harmed, but I know when he returns to his life, his family, his sister, his job and his friend and partner I have to leave and I...I don't want to give any of you up. I know I have to, I know the time would come when I accepted this assignment-I just never expected you all to be so..." He shook his head as though trying to recapture his thoughts. "I'm sorry. I can't help what I feel. If I don't get attached the break is easier, can't you see? I'm a selfish bastard for wanting to keep your friend's life, but  somethin' tells me Vecchio hasn't got a clue what all he has here, that's just the way it is. That's why I distance myself and why I had to leave da party. I'm sorry." Ray's voice broke and he turned away from Fraser, hiding his face in the cushions and the Mountie felt bad for him.         It wasn't Ray's fault that he had come to care for all of them, it was just the kind of man he was. Fraser had to admit he was  both anxious and uneasy of his old partner's return, for although he missed his friend terribly, he had formed a bond with Kowalski that even he did not quite understand. He couldn't imagine the quirky, volatile blond not being apart of his life and so, in a way, he understood why Ray wouldn't want the real Vecchio to come home. He found apart of himself in Stanley Kowalski that he hadn't known had been missing, and he suspected the detective felt the same way about him. He reached up and gently placed a hand on Ray's good shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze.         "No matter what happens, Ray." He began quietly. "You are my partner and my friend and we will always have that bond shared between us. I...I do not want to consider a future without you in it, though I would like to have Ray Vecchio in it as well, for he is also my friend. I hope regardless of what happens when Ray returns, that we will still be...together." Ray turned around slowly to look at him and Fraser saw that the detective's eyes were shining brightly with unshed tears.         "W...was dat hard ta say, Fraser?" he whispered and Fraser smiled, shaking his head.         "Not in the least, Ray." He assured and was surprised when Ray gently pulled him down for a brief hug.         "I love ya, Fraser."         "And I you, Ray." Fraser allowed returning the embrace, but being careful of Ray's shoulder.         "I mean like a brother or somethin' not..." Ray made a gesture with his hands and Fraser bit back his laughter.         "Understood, Ray." He replied straightening and tucking the blanket more securely around his partner. "Try to sleep now."         "'Kay." Ray yawned and snuggled against the pillow Fraser had also retrieved from his bed. "Merry Christmas, Fraser."         "Merry Christmas, Ray." Fraser returned but the blond was already asleep.         Ray awoke a short time later and Fraser checked his dressing and offered the detective some additional Tylenol, which Ray refused.         "Nah, I'm good." He assured the Mountie as Fraser helped him on with a fresh shirt. Ray buttoned the front of the fleece-lined shirt, which was more of a jacket really but was easier to get on without hurting his shoulder, and loose enough it didn't bother the bandage.         "Would you like me to heat you up the plate Mrs. Vecchio sent with us, Ray?" Fraser offered as Ray shook his head and rose from the sofa.         "I'm not hungry, Frase, but thanks." He glanced at his watch as he went over to his kitchen area and pulled a soda from the fridge, offering one to Fraser whom declined. "Ain't ya gotta be gettin' back to da Vecchio's?"         "I told them I would meet them for midnight mass, Ray." Fraser explained, joining his partner in the kitchen as Ray leaned wearily against the counter and sipped his drink. "Would you...do you feel up to coming? I am sure..."         "I don't do church, Fraser." Ray refused quickly. "But tell 'em I said hi, and dat I was sorry I had to leave so soon." Fraser shuffled on his feet, debating whether or not to ask his next question.         "You are injured, Ray..." he began.         "I'll be fine, Fraser." The detective blocked easily and returned to sit on the sofa, Fraser followed and sat beside him.         "I promised to spend the night with the Vecchio's, so we would all be there Christmas morning, Ray."         "Yah, I know, dat's cool." He glanced at Fraser. "Ya need me ta drive ya over, my shoulder's feelin' better now I can..."         "No, Ray." Fraser protested, wishing he could make the detective understand he didn't want to leave him alone. "I..I would like you to come with me. That way I can keep an eye on your shoulder, in case you start bleeding again and..."         "I can watch my own shoulder, Frase." Ray decided firmly. "I been takin' care a myself awhile now."         "I'm not insinuating that you are incapable to seeing to your own needs, Ray." Fraser advised quickly. "I simply think that with an injury like yours it would be better if someone were around, just in case, and since you will not go to the hospital I would like..."         "Fraser I'll be fine." Ray insisted finishing his soda and setting the can on the table, beside the first aid kit. "I'm a big boy." He sighed when Fraser gave him a scolding look, how was it the Mountie could make him feel like he was ten years old again and messing up in front of the principle. "Fraser, I...I really prefer to be alone, okay? I mean, I meant what I said earlier, yer my best buddy and I care about ya but...I'm...I'm not real good wit family gatherings."         "Please reconsider, Ray." Fraser requested quietly and again those deep-searching eyes seared through Kowalski's soul so he had to look away or be lost forever. "Ma will be very upset if I return without you and I...I would like...I would like to.." Fraser lowered his eyes for a moment and caressed his brow thoughtfully. "I care very much about the Vecchio family, but...they are not really my family; I have no family left, and yet..." He raised his gaze to meet Ray's once more. " I consider you closer...as close as any family I might have and I...I want to spend this time with you; whether it is with the Vecchio's or here just the two of us in your apartment, Ray."         Ray stared at him for so long Fraser became more uncomfortable and started to think he had made a tragic mistake. How could he have possibly thought he could make the blond understand-how important this was for him? His father was right, men don't talk about what they want or their feelings, it leads to uncomfortable situations like this one. He opened his mouth to apologize when Ray's words gave him pause.         "Okay, Fraser." Fraser glanced back at his friend, looking for a sign of anger or edginess in the detective, but found only a warm smile. "Help me pack some stuff an' we'll go have us a sleep over at Ma's." Fraser beamed at him and stood eagerly.         "Thank you kindly, Ray." He smiled as his partner rose with him. "Are you sure you feel up to it? We can stay here and..."         "Just let me throw some stuff in a bag and we're outta here, buddy." Ray assured heading for the bedroom. Fraser watched him joyously for a moment, unable to explain the fluttering in his heart that Ray's words had made. He shook his head, it didn't matter why he was feeling so strangely euphoric, all that counted was Ray would spend Christmas with him.         Fraser helped Mrs. Vecchio and Francesca out of the vehicle and aided their slow assent on the still slippery walk, to the front door, then returned to help Maria with the slumbering children in the back. The midnight mass had been crowded but moving and they were all tired but in good spirits. Ray had dropped Fraser at the church and went on to the Vecchio home, since he had a spare key and could get inside to wait. The children had fallen asleep on the way home. Tony had retrieved the parcels and extra gifts that the ladies had stopped to purchase earlier and left in the car while they were at mass, while Maria and Fraser each took a bundled child inside.         Ray met them at the door, accepting a kiss from Ma and a shy smile from Francesca, as he helped them off with their coats, then turned to give Tony a hand with the packages. They had finished placing the bags and parcels in the living room, where the ladies would sort through later, as Fraser and Maria came in with the kids. Francesca immediately moved to take the girl in the Mounties's arms, but her niece, started to wake up at the exchange and pulled closer to the man holding her.         "It's all right, Francesca." He assured quietly as Maria headed upstairs. "I'll take her." Francesca nodded as Ray came out of the living room and the girl stretched her arms toward him for a hug.         "Uncle Ray!" she sighed sleepily. "You came back!" Ray smiled at her, but didn't move to embrace her, concerned she might want him to carry her and with his shoulder he might end up dropping her.         "Hey, Kid." He offered dropping a kiss on her forehead. "Better get upstairs and to sleep or The Easter Bunny won't come." She giggled.         "It's not Easter!" she exclaimed and Fraser smiled at his partner's teasing. "It's Christmas!" Ray smacked his head in wonder.         "Dat's right! I mean da tooth fairy of course."         "No, silly! Santa comes on Christmas." She laughed and Ray looked puzzled.         "Big guy, red suit, white beard, drive's a sleigh?" he asked her and she nodded. "Nope, never heard of him." She laughed again and snuggled into Fraser as Maria returned from putting her son to bed.         "Sleep time, Bonnie." She stated firmly, but with a small smile.         "Fraser'll take me." She yawned, repeating the Mounties's earlier comment.         "Well, you are getting rather heavy." He remarked, as he headed for the stairs, pretending to let her slip and she squealed and tried to wrap her arms tighter around his neck, but he had her almost upside down by then and she was giggling and crying out, though she knew he would never drop her.         "Drop her, Fraser!" Ray teased. "See if she bounces." Bonnie exclaimed her horror through her laughter and Fraser righted her again as he started to climb the stairs. Francesca and Maria exchanged a knowing glance as the girl smiled shyly and snuggled back into the Mounties's arms and Fraser gave her a tender kiss on the forehead and cuddled her to him.         "He'd make a wonderful father one day." Maria sighed as Ray glanced back at them.         "I know it." Francesca agreed wistfully. "I'm tryin' believe me." Ray lowered his eyes and hid a smile, then suddenly walked over and shyly gave each woman a kiss on the cheek. They stared at him shocked, but he just shrugged.         "Merry Christmas." He murmured heading back into the living room. Again the sisters exchanged a glance, until finally Maria commented.         "Maybe yer tryin' fer the wrong one, Frannie." Francesca stared after Ray and shook her head. Maybe.         "Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray!" Fraser's voice finally made it through the fog that had settled over Kowalski's brain as he noticed he and the Mountie were the only ones in the living room. He had been watching the women wrap presents and stuff stockings for the kids, he and Fraser had been helping. Ray must have zoned out because now the gifts were all under the tree and the stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes...Ray shook his head. Oooh brain fart..com'ahn work with me here. He smacked the side of his head to jostle his thought process back to reality and ignored Fraser's sly grin.         "Hey, Frase." He muttered embarrassed that he hadn't noticed the others leave. "Where'd everyone go?"         "I believe they've all gone to bed, Ray." The Mountie supplied. "It's rather late, you fell asleep." Ray sat up slowly from his slumped position in the chair, his shoulder was throbbing painfully and Fraser noticed his wince and was beside him instantly to help his partner to his feet.         "Ma already made up rooms for us to sleep." He informed gently, waiting for the blond to get his bearings. "I'll check your shoulder upstairs." Ray nodded and swayed a little, glad for the supportive arm that had sneaked around his waist.         "Yah, 'kay. Frase." He agreed as the room finally stopped spinning and he moved away from Fraser's steady grasp to switch off the lamp beside them, leaving just the twinkling tree lights to illuminate the room in patterned colors.         Ray sighed and stared at the tree. It was pretty, all decorated and lit up, he couldn't remember the last time his folks had bothered to put a tree up for Christmas, and Stella always preferred those white Victorian looking things. This was a real tree that smelled of pine needles, with antique and home made ornaments mixed along it's branches, strings of pearl beads draped lovingly around it with a beautiful wide eyed white angel on top. This was a true Christmas tree, a family's Christmas tree.         He lowered his eyes away from the shining vision, just not his family. He felt guilty to want what wasn't his, but he couldn't help it. He loved his real folks, of course he did and he liked being there son, but there was never the closeness with the Kowalski's that the Vecchio's seemed too posses. Granted there was a lot more bickering and threatened assaults in the household; they all talked entirely too much for Ray's tastes, but it still felt more like...a home. He felt Fraser's hand on his good shoulder.         "Are you all right, Ray?" he asked kindly and the detective nodded, moving out of the room and toward the stairs.         "Yah, I'm good, Frase." He assured quietly, not really caring if the Mountie believed him or not, he was suddenly very tired again. Fraser stepped inside the room Mrs. Vecchio had made up for them; she had offered to have the twin's move in with Francesca, so they could have a room each, but Fraser assured her he and Ray could share a bedroom. Besides he wanted to keep an eye on his partner anyway, just in case.         "I'll change your bandage, Ray." He offered as the blond settled on the large, king-sized bed and started to toe off his boots and unbutton his shirt. The wound had started to bleed again, despite the sutures, so Fraser changed the dressing and added additional stitches, the loud clipping of the stapler sounding decidedly loud in the quiet room. Ray flinched with each one, but managed to keep quiet, not wanting to wake the house.         "Frase?" he breathed hoarsely and the Mountie looked at him concerned. "I..I think I'm gonna be sick." Fraser nodded and quickly retrieved the nearby wastebasket, knowing his partner would not make it down the long hall to the bathroom. Afterwards he settled Ray back against the pillows, changed the bag in the basket with a fresh one and retrieved a moist cloth and bowl of water from the bathroom. He even brought Ray some mouthwash to rinse his mouth.         "I really think you should go to the hospital, Ray.' He admonished as he wiped the perspiration from Ray's forehead and tsked over his friend's sudden pallor and trembling form. "The wound may be getting infected. I cannot..."         "You'll take care a me, Frase." Ray muttered weakly and closing his eyes as Fraser moved the cool cloth over his hot face with slow gentle strokes. "Ya always do." Fraser shook his head and moistened the cloth again in the bowl.         Fraser awoke early the next morning after a restless night of watching his partner sleep. He had fallen asleep in the armchair and now had a crick in his neck, as he heard the children running past the room to check the tree down stairs for a sign that Santa had come. He stretched and moved to wake, Ray to check how the detective was feeling, then he would probably let him sleep once he was assured of his continued health.          Ray didn't stir, not even when Fraser gently tried to slap him awake. His breathing wasn't right and Fraser anxiously pulled back the covers, to find them wet with Ray's blood that had seeped through the bandage. Immediately Fraser reached for the phone and called an ambulance. It would probably worry everyone downstairs, but he couldn't risk Ray's life just to spare their feelings, not now. Francesca had decided to drive Fraser to the hospital, following the ambulance that carried his partner and her pretend brother.         "Why didn't he tell us he was hurt?" she demanded of Fraser as they sped toward the hospital.         "He didn't want to spoil your Christmas celebration." Fraser stated, his voice and face was passive as usual, but his body was rigid in his seat, and he fidgeted with his Stetson, a sign that he was worried.         "Well, he'll really spoil it fer us if he dies, Fraser." She retorted angrily then regretted her words as she saw the Mounties's lips compress into a hard line. She reached across and gently touched his arm. "I'm sorry, Frase. I'm worried too."         Fraser acknowledged her apology with a brief nod, but never took his eyes from the ambulance in front of them. He was already lost in his own agonizing thoughts. I should have forced him to go to the hospital, I should have made him get the proper care. Ray can't die, he can't. He promised to spend Christmas with me. I cannot loose another partner, not Ray, please Dear God don't take him from me, and I love him so much.         Francesca paced the waiting room as they waited to hear how Ray was doing, Fraser stood unmoving by the window and watched the falling snow, his back to her, his posture rigid. There had been a piece of the blade that had broken off in Ray's shoulder and his continued movement buried it further and further into the tender tissue beneath, causing the wound to continue bleeding, despite Fraser's attempts to stitch it. There was no way he could have known it was there, the doctor informed Fraser, it couldn't be seen by the naked eye and would have been hard to see even with an x-ray, if they hadn't been looking for the direct cause of the bleeding.         They had taken Ray into surgery immediately, and set up a transfusion of blood, hoping to keep the detective from bleeding to death, since he had already lost so much over the last twenty-four hours. Finally the doctor joined them and said the detective would be fine, that they had gotten to him in time. Frannie cried out in relief and Fraser asked if he could go and see his partner, which the Doctor agreed, but only for a few minutes.         Ray was laying on the stark white hospital bed, his face deathly pale, his eyes closed, and Fraser shuddered how close he had come to loosing his friend. He stepped up quietly to the bed, just wanting to see for himself that Ray would be okay, but not to disturb him. The blonde's breathing was good and according to the heart monitor on him his pulse was strong, despite his pallor. Fraser offered up a silent prayer of thanks to whoever might be listening and then impulsively reached to push a stray lock of blond hair from Ray's forehead.         "Frase?' the cop asked his eyes opening just as Fraser snatched his hand back discreetly.         "I'm here, Ray." He assured quietly and Ray offered him a weak smile.         "Hey, Buddy." Fraser offered him a polite nod. "Sorry ta ruin yer holiday."         "Don't start on that, Ray." Fraser warned, trying to hide his rising anger that had given to fear. "I've already decided I should have never listened to you. I should have taken you to the hospital and never mind about your protests. You could have died Ray and then..." Fraser was babbling and Ray raised his hand to catch hold of the Mounties's fingers.         "I'm sorry fer scarin' ya Fraser." He offered gently and Fraser's anger dissipated almost immediately, as the detective gave him a reassuring squeeze.         "I...I've come to realize that, perhaps you have started to influence me more than I thought, Ray." He commented and Ray gave him a puzzled look as he released his hand.         "Yah? How?" Fraser blushed a little and took a sudden interest in the sheets of Ray's bed.         "I...ah...I kept thinking that if you didn't make it out of this alive I was going to have to kill you, Ray." Fraser admitted straight faced and Ray laughed, then groaned as the movement caused his pain, but his smile never disappeared.         "Dere's hope fer ya yet then, Benton buddy." He chuckled and Fraser brightened.         "You think?" Ray shook his head, still smiling.         "Yah, I think. Ya, freak." Fraser returned his smile and their palms met once more. "Love ya, Fraser."         "And I you, Ray." Fraser vowed gently.          Despite doctor's orders Ray left the hospital that afternoon, they had gotten the piece of metal out of his shoulder and patched him up, so he wanted to get the hell out. He argued with the doctors for twenty minutes and with Fraser and Francesca for another ten, then knowing the detective would try and go home himself they agreed to take him out of the hospital. Francesca's stipulation was he had to stay at the Vecchio household over night again and Ray countered with staying for dinner and suggested Fraser could stay with him at his place so he wouldn't be unattended since everyone felt like hovering. Francesca and Fraser agreed.  His arm was in a sling and the prescription they had given him lessened the pain in his arm to a dull ache, so he was in a better mood by the time they arrived. Mrs. Vecchio ran out and, restraining herself from throwing her arms around him and aggravating his injury, she grabbed his free hand firmly.         "I should be furious with you!" she exclaimed and went of on a string of Italian that Ray couldn't keep up with or hope to understand, but he sensed her disapproval.          "Ma!" Francesca interrupted. "Yell at him later, let's go inside." Her mother nodded, but kept a firm grasp on Ray's hand and tugged him along behind her toward the house, even as he gave Fraser a pleading look. The Mountie turned his eyes away and followed them inside, whatever Ray got from Mrs. Vecchio, he deserved for making them all worry so. He was actually amazed that, as Ma continued her tirade the moment they were in the warmth of the front hall, Ray never once raised his voice to her or did anything but apologize quietly. Any one else that ever got in the detective's face like that would normally result in the blond threatening first and then acting on that threat.          "Ma." Fraser said gently, finally interceding on his partner's behalf, he'd suffered enough. "Ray did not mean to cause you distress, he was trying to protect you from having to worry during Christmas." The woman gazed at him expectantly. "I am sure that he knows better now and he is here, so perhaps we should all just try and enjoy the rest of the day." Mrs. Vecchio considered his words silently for a moment, then turned her attention back to Ray.          "I really am so sorry." He offered once more and Mrs. Vecchio took his face in her hands and kissed him gently on each cheek.          "I forgive you my darling." She confessed finally and Fraser watched Ray's shoulder's sag with relief. "Do not hurt me so again, no?"          "No." he agreed. "Never, Ma. I am sorry." She nodded and moved away offering him a small smile.          "It is forgotten then." She headed toward the living room. "Come, we have waited enough for the gifts, we will enjoy Christmas and then we will eat." She disappeared around the corner and Ray glared at Fraser, who helped him shrug out of his jacket, which he only had draped over his shoulders because of his sling.          "Took ya long enough ta help, dere, Fraser." He muttered and Fraser hid a smile.          "You deserved it, Ray." Fraser replied and Ray glanced at him surprised.          "That isn't very Mountie-like." He stated. "Dat's bordering on rude."          "But it is accurate, Ray." Fraser continued and with a firm hand on his back guided the detective into the family room. "Shall we?" Ray took the recliner Tony surprisingly offered him and Fraser settled beside him on the floor, as Maria and Francesca passed the gifts out. Maria and Tony had opened theirs with the kids earlier who were busy upstairs playing with their new treasures. Tony made a comment about watching something on television and went on up as well, leaving the five adults.          "These are yer's Frase." Francesca offered the small pile to the Mountie who set them beside him.          "Thank you kindly, Francesca." He returned as Marie settled Ma's  gifts by the sofa and Frannie's pile by the tree, where her sister always curled up to open them.          "Here ya are, Ray." Francesca informed handing the remaining gifts to the detective whom was pretending to be her brother.          "Um..thank's Frannie." He replied slightly uncomfortable that they had gotten him anything. Well, of course they did, they had to keep up appearances, right this was all for Vecchio, he just had to keep repeating that to himself. Everyone settled in and started to unwrap their gifts, except Ray, who was enjoying himself watching everyone else's excitement over what they had received.          "Oh Ray!" Francesca exclaimed as she opened the box that held her tennis bracelet. "It's beautiful! I wanted just this one!" She rushed over to give him a kiss, but he stopped her with a warning hand.          "A thank you'd work, fine, Frannie." He teased and she paused for a moment, considering his words, then ignored them and dropped almost in his lap, careful of his shoulder, to give him a big hug and a dozen kisses over his face, narrowly missing  a grinning Fraser who moved to get out of her way.          "Thank you thank you thank you!!!" she inflected each word with a kiss and Ray was giggling and squirming under her.          "Get offa me!" he protested. "Fraser, help!" Francesca laughed and hopped up with a final ruffle of his hair, then allowed Maria and her mother to view the bracelet admiringly. Ray tried to straighten his clothes and his hair with his good hand as Fraser resumed his position beside him. Ray kicked him gently. "Some buddy you are."          "Oh, were you needing assistance Ray?" he inquired innocently and Ray had to struggle not to pop him. "Aren't you going to open your gifts Ray?" he asked handing him one of the parcels. Ray reluctantly took it.          "Sure."         Fraser leaned back in the easy chair and glanced at the dozing detective on the sofa. Everyone had liked their gifts even Ray, who thanked Ma for the new razor, Maria and Tony for the years subscription to one of his favorite magazines and laughed at Frannie's gift-a book on how to pick up women. She included a box of his favorite chocolates and a new coffee mug for his real gift. Fraser glanced back at the television screen which was playing It's a Wonderful Life, then once again at his partner. He picked up the remote and switched the Television off, meaning to wake Ray so they could go to bed, but the detective mustn't have been asleep because his eyes opened instantly.         "What'd ya do dat for?' he asked Fraser surprised. "I was watchin' it."         "I thought you were asleep Ray." The Mountie informed. "How can you watch the program with your eyes closed?"         "I just can." Ray insisted. "It's one of dem things American's can do." Fraser chuckled.         "Would you like me to turn it back on?" he offered as Ray slowly sat up and yawned, proving he was at least tired, if not sleeping.         "Nah, I've seen it a hundred times." He said rolling his head around on his shoulders to get the circulation going again. Fraser nodded then pulled something from his pocket and handed it to the detective. "What's dis?"         "You're Christmas gift, Ray." He stated as his partner accepted the small wrapped item.         "Oh." He replied, he'd forgotten that he hadn't opened a gift from Fraser yet. "Thanks buddy." He carefully pulled off the red twine and unfolded the soft green cloth.  It was a hand-sewn badge with a small stitched figure of a man, bent over with a lightening bolt-symbolizing pain, coming from his back. The badge was made of soft blue cloth and black leather and had Ray's name in bold letters on top, then different symbols aligned the sides. A small scroll of lettering adorned the  mall certificate attached to it. 'Presented for beating the odds, facing incredible danger and sleeping on a hard floor without concern for his own physical well being Duly noted by: Constable B. Fraser.' Ray laughed in delight and ran his fingers lightly over the precious gift.         "Dis is great, buddy." He smiled. "Ya remembered." Fraser smiled.         "I did promise to get you a badge for agreeing to sleep on the floor, Ray." Fraser reminded then handed him another gift, larger than the first.         "Two?" Ray asked surprised as he carefully placed his new badge back inside the wrapping and pulled the string off the second gift. It was a sleek silver pen with Ray's initials on it, his real initials and Ray immediately plucked it from the box and examined it.         "Do you like it, Ray?" Fraser asked anxiously and Ray nodded.          "I love it, Frase." He assured placing the pen back in it's box to keep it from getting lost until he got it back to his place. "It's great. Thank you."          "I know you cannot carry it with you while working as Ray Vecchio-but I thought you could use it after...well when Ray returns." Fraser stated as Ray collected his gifts in one hand and rose to place them under his small tree.          "I appreciate it Frase." He replied as he turned toward the window and stared out at the falling snow. "Do ya miss Canada very much, Fraser? The Mountie was startled by the question but answered automatically.          "Very much, Ray." Ray nodded and pulled his window open, letting a brisk cold wind sweep the room as he held his good hand out to catch the snow.          "It's yer home." Ray commented, though Fraser was uncertain if he was talking directly to him or merely voicing his thoughts aloud as he had a tendency to do. "I get dat, it's a shame ya have ta be away from it, especially on Christmas." The detective played with the flakes for a moment before continuing. "Christmas is about family, an' ya got none. Christmas is about home, an' yer stuck here. " Fraser regarded him curiously, wondering if the two glasses of wine Ray had at dinner were affecting him slightly, along with the pills the doctors gave him, it could be an explosive combination.          "It isn't as bad as all that, Ray." He insisted off hand. "I enjoy my work here and I am making a difference here. I have friends that are as close as family so I am not as lonely perhaps as I would be in Canada."          "I'm set fer bed, Frase." Ray sighed suddenly, closing the window and dropping the subject. "See ya in da morning, buddy."          "Good night. Ray." Fraser offered gently. "Sleep well." Ray nodded and went into his room and closed the door.            Fraser was too far ahead of him, damn but that man could run fast when he needed to, so Ray scouted for a short cut that would take him into the fleeing suspect's path. He knew this city like the back of his hand, and sure enough he found the route he needed and caught him self on the corner of the building, as he rounded the corner and jumped the fence he knew would be there. Further down the alley, over another fence, knocking down a few crates that were behind it and straight through the park.         He could now see one of the suspects, who was still looking behind for the pursuing Mountie and perhaps his partner in crime, so he was not expecting the detective that blind sided him as he turned back. They tumbled to the ground, unfortunately at a sharp incline of the park's grassland, and went rolling down the hill together. Ray was the first to recover, quickly straddled the criminal, as he still lay on his stomach, and he cuffed him.         "Gee, dat was fun, wanna go again?" he sneered at the man amused, even though he had managed to land on his bad shoulder when they hit and it was throbbing incessantly. Maybe Fraser and Welsh were right and he should have waited before going back in the street, giving the shoulder a little more time to heal, but Ray had wanted back in the action again. "Ya have da right ta keep yer trap shut." He began of the individual's rights, as always he said them with his own flair. He was just finishing as Fraser walked up with his own suspect, hauled by the collar almost.         "Well done, Ray" Fraser congratulated pleased as their back up finally arrived. Ray offered him a small grin, trying not to think about how much his shoulder hurt. If the Mountie had waited for Ray, who would have waited for back up, he probably wouldn't have had to perform the stunts he did, but then that niggling voice inside his head that sounded suspiciously like Fraser's claimed they would also have lost the suspects.         "You too, Buddy." He offered instead as he rose and the uniformed officers took their suspects into custody. Fraser noticed the cautious way his partner straightened and frowned.         "Are you injured, Ray?" he asked concerned and Ray shook his head.         "Just landed on my shoulder, Frase." He admitted rubbing the injured area carefully. "It'll be okay." Fraser decided not to pursue it for the moment, as they walked slowly back the long distance where Ray had haphazardly parked the GTO when Fraser had seen the muggers and jumped out of the car.         "I would be happy to help you with the reports, Ray." The Mountie offered as they crossed the street toward the car. "Oh, my hat!" He reached up and found his hat had been knocked from his head in the run as Ray opened his car door. "I'll be right with you, Ray." Fraser started back across the street just as a black Lincoln ran the red light in the intersection behind them and sped toward the Mountie.         "Fraser!" Ray screamed as he started after his friend to warm him, then watched in slow horror as Fraser turned just as the car hit him, propelling the Canadian up over the top, smashing the windshield and then tossing him back off the right side of the vehicle.  Someone screamed, and Ray realized it was him as he ran to his fallen partner's side and whipped his phone out in the same movement. The car had long since disappeared down the street and a crowd started to gather around them, as Ray dialed 911 and demanded an ambulance to their location. He knew better then to move the Mountie, so he tried to console himself with trying to get him awake.         "Fraser? Buddy?" he questioned softly caressing the man's cheek, then gently slapping him. "Wake up Fraser. Are you okay? Answer me, buddy." Fraser didn't move and though Ray felt a pulse it was thready at best and there was blood coming from the corer of Fraser's mouth and from his forehead. "Yer gonna be okay, Fraser, you will. You have to be."         At the hospital Ray was informed that Fraser had three broken ribs, a fractured pelvic bone and a possible concussion. It was the concussion they were worried about, because until the Mountie woke they couldn't be sure of any other damage. Ray thanked them for their prognoses then called Turnbull to see if he could mind Diefenbaker for awhile, since the wolf was at the consulate and not with them that day. Turnbull agreed readily and inquired of Constable Fraser's condition, which Ray told him what he knew. Thatcher and Welsh showed up almost at the same time, with Francesca arriving just a few minutes after. Everyone was demanding to know what had happened and Ray told them what he could.  His concern over his partner's health however, made his temper short and after ten minutes of questions he told them all to ask the doctor for anything else, he was going to check on his friend.         He had already gotten permission from the doctor to stay with Fraser until he woke and the slow steady beep beep of the heart monitor only added to the detective's anxiety. He couldn't believe it, it all happened so fast, he'd had no time to warn Fraser, no time to act, but that didn't change the fact that he failed his partner. Fraser was hurt, badly and Ray believed it was his fault. He settled into a chair beside the bed and watched his friend quietly, willing him to wake up soon. Ray awoke to a sense of foreboding, something was wrong and he knew it the instant he turned to find Fraser's bed empty/ He bolted from the chair and twirled around just in time to see the Mountie step out onto the ledge of the building.         "Fraser!" he exclaimed rushing over and imploring his friend, who seemed to be in a dazed state. "Get in here!" He was ignored and Ray started to climb out onto the ledge to get him, just as Fraser stepped off. The detective's arms shot out automatically and he caught Fraser's hand and wrist, grimacing in pain as his other hand clung to the window frame to brace them. He had one foot outside on the ledge and the other on the floor inside the window, giving him a more precarious position. His shoulder was on fire and tears sprang to his eyes as he tried to get some leverage to haul the semi-conscious Mountie back through the window. He couldn't release either of his holds to angle for a better angle or they'd both fall. He started screaming for help, but his voice was hoarse from his own pain.         "Oh God!" he croaked. "Please...don't let me drop him!" He'd never forgive himself if he let Fraser fall, the Canadian would never survive the drop from twelve stories up. "Fraser. F..Fraser buddy, please snap out of it." He gritted his teeth and felt his grip loosening. Where the hell were all the nurses that were flapping around earlier for Christ's sake?          Fraser was almost a dead weight and wasn't returning Ray's grasp on his wrist, even as Ray felt himself being pulled further out the window. He couldn't pull up, all his effort was in maintaining the cautious grip he had on his friend, and he couldn't adjust his position in the window without trying to pull up. All he could do was pray someone one would come in before they both fell to the pavement below. He could of course release Fraser and save himself, but that was not an option for Ray, they were partners and it was up to him to watch Fraser's back and keep him safe, regardless of his own safety.         "I'm sorry, God!" Ray moaned as he started to slip even further out the window, now only his grip on the frame was keeping him balanced, his foot no longer could reach the inside floor because of the way he was positioned. "I never meant all dat about Vecchio-I never mean any harm. Please help me keep Fraser safe-I'll do anything God, just give me the strength not to drop him." Suddenly he noticed a woman sitting on the ledge next to him and he almost lost his grip on the window in shock. She wore a plain white dress, her bare feet swinging idly from her perch, long auburn hair and a beautiful kind face. She was glowing and Ray was starting to think he was loosing his mind.         "Hullo, Ray." She greeted in a sweet brogue.         "W..who...how...?" he stammered and she smiled softly.         "I'm an angel, Ray, sent by God, with a message for you." Ray stared at her dumbfounded.         "I don't need a message I need help!" he exclaimed angrily as he slipped further and he groaned in pain.    "Gimmie a hand if yer just gonna sit dere." She smiled then suddenly disappeared. "Great! I am loosing my..."         He was startled as he felt warm arms coming around him from inside and pulling him backwards through the window. He didn't question it, just was glad for the assistance as he managed to get both feet inside, but still couldn't pull Fraser through with his bad shoulder. He felt a hand on his shoulder and for a moment the pain was gone and replaced with a prickling sensation of strength that finally enabled him to pull his partner back inside. They fell backwards onto the floor of the hospital, Fraser's weight requiring extra effort just to get them upright again.         Fraser was still unconscious as Ray maneuvered him to the bed just as a nurse finally came in and stared in surprise, demanding to know what had happened. Ray told her and she ran to get the doctor as he settled Fraser in the bed. The doctor rushed in and immediately took over, requesting that the detective wait out side. Ray's shoulder was starting to hurt again, so he agreed and let them do what they needed to with Fraser as he went t the nurse's station and requested some aspirin or something for the pain.          Moments later he returned to Fraser's room, after listening to the doctor say that the Mountie was still in a coma, though how he had managed to get onto the ledge was beyond them-it was some sort of sleep walking they had never heard of. Leave it to Fraser to be different. Ray settled next to the bed again and watched his friend sleep. He enfolded his long fingers between Fraser's and settled them back on the crisp white sheets of the hospital bed.         "How is he?" a familiar voice asked and Ray looked up to see the woman from the ledge standing on the other side of the bed.         "I...they don't know yet." He murmured. "Who are you?"         "I am an angel." She informed as a soft unexplainable glow surrounded her and made Ray blink at the brightness suddenly permeating the small room.         "A..an angel?" he questioned doubtful, but his emotional and physical state at the moment was not at it's best, so the idea that he was loosing his mind easily coerced him to go with the flow. "What's yer name?"         "Monica." She allowed sweetly.         "Why ya here, Monica?" he demanded his grip on Fraser's hand tightening. "Ya can't have him, y'know-I'll fight ya fer him and..."         "I am not here to take Benton, Ray." She assured. "That is not my purpose here."         "T...then why are ya here?"         "I've come to deliver a message to you from God." She stated kindly and his eyes widened.         "God wants ta give me a message?" he asked suspicious. "Just like dat he decided ta drop me a line, hey?" She smiled.         "Something like that, yes." She agreed.         "Is...is it about da wish...my Christmas wish?" he asked. "I..I changed it-I don't...I want Vecchio ta be okay and..."         "No, Ray it isn't about your wish, and anyway, God knows that wasn't your real wish."         "It wasn't?"         "No, that was simply something you told Benton to keep him at a distance, but it didn't work did it?" Ray stared at her shocked, then lowered his eyes and shook his head.         "No, it didn't work." He admitted, so quietly she had to strain to hear him. "I'm glad it didn't." He raised his eyes to his partner's face. "I don't know what I'd do without him."         "God loves you, Ray." She explained softly. "That was the message I have for you. He loves you and you are not alone, even without Benton, you are not alone. You do make a difference here, Ray-a great difference. Never doubt that." Ray rose his eyes to hers and blinked back the tears that had risen to the surface.         "Why are you telling me this?" he whispered tormented and she lowered her hand to grasp Fraser's free palm.         "Don't think you can't go on without him, Ray." She sighed. "It isn't true. You can go on, you must go on."         "Y..you are here to take him." Ray croaked as a tear slid down his cheek. "Please, don't take him away. "I...I need him. Frannie needs him, so many people need him here. It's my fault he's here-I didn't protect him, I didn't..." Monica moved around and placed an arm around his trembling shoulders.         "It was not your fault." She assured. "Remember that it was never your fault, Ray. God loves you and..."         "I don't love Him!" Ray exclaimed angrily. "Not if He takes Fraser away, not if He lets him die!"         "You don't mean that, do you, Ray?" she inquired gently and Ray shook his head.         "No, no, please I do love Him, I love them both..." he murmured laying his head on their joined hands, his tears flowing freely. "I love them both...love him..."         "Ray?" a deep voice whispered and the detective raised his head to stare at into the beautiful blue eyes of his partner.         "Frase!" he croaked joyfully as he rose to give his partner a quick hug. "Yer back, buddy-yer back."         "Had I gone somewhere, Ray?' the Mountie inquired quietly, his eyes were watching Ray carefully.         "Let me go get the Doc." Ray offered starting to release Fraser's hand as he started away, but Fraser tightened his grip.         "Ray-who were you talking to?" he asked curious and Ray just grinned and shook his head.         "It doesn't matter." He rebuffed, noticing that there was no sign of Monica. "Yer awake and..."         "Who do you love, Ray?" Fraser insisted. "You were saying..."         "I love you buddy." Ray answered easily. "Told ya dat, remember?" Ray finally moved away and went to find the doctor as Fraser regarded him thoughtfully.         Ray settled Fraser on his bed and fussed over him, checking to see if he was comfortable, if he wanted tea or something to eat. Finally Fraser's patience reached an end.         "Ray, please!" he exclaimed. "I am fine, stop hovering." Ray grinned and dropped into the chair next to the bed, automatically reaching to pet Diefenbaker as the animal settled at his feet.         "Just want to make sure yer comfy Frase." He commented innocently, but the Mountie saw the mischief in his partner's eyes. "After all, you do the same for me, right?"         "Ah." Fraser remarked knowingly. Ray was getting back for all Fraser's fuss over his shoulder. "That was different, Ray. You were injured quite badly and..."         "An' you were in da hospital." Ray countered still grinning. "So shut up and take it like a good Mountie." Fraser sighed, realizing there was no way he could win the argument and settled back into the cushions, a part of him glad for the attention for it wasn't often he was pampered, although he did feel guilty about taking up his partner's bed.          It was New Year's Eve and he had expected his partner to have plans for the evening, but Ray seemed content to stay at home and attended to him. He was actually feeling fine, just a little sore, from his injured ribs, but Ray insisted he rest. He still couldn't believe it when Ray had told him he had somehow climbed out onto the ledge at the hospital and Ray had to pull him back in. He didn't doubt the detective's strength, but it would have been a difficult maneuver even for Fraser himself to lift someone at almost dead weight with hardly any leverage and a bad shoulder.         "Are you sure you don't want to go out and celebrate, Ray?" he asked again, regretful that his energetic friend would miss the parties. "I really don't mind and..."         "We're gonna have us a party right here, Frase." Ray assured calmly and Fraser raised an eyebrow. What was he planning? With Kowalski it was impossible to tell, which only made the Canadian more curious. "Speakin' of which, I'm gonna let you rest and I have some stuff ta do."         "Can I help, Ray?" Fraser offered automatically and Ray shook his head.         "Nope, you stay right here." He patted the bed and Diefenbaker climbed up next to Fraser. "Keep  him here Dief." Fraser sighed and watched his friend leave the bedroom, closing the door behind him securely, and reached for the tea Ray had brought him as Dief whined at him.         "I expect he doesn't want you underfoot." Fraser responded calmly and the wolf made another noise at him. "How can you be hungry you just ate not twenty minutes ago?" A woof and a whine as Diefenbaker rested his head between his paws and stared up at Fraser forlornly. "No, I am certainly not going to order you a pizza, you're a wolf for God's sake-you have been terribly spoiled by Ray's generosity." Diefenbaker huffed and turned his eyes away. "Well, there you are then."         Fraser settled back again and thought back over the past week. Christmas at the Vecchio's was eventful to say the least, especially with the entire trauma-surrounding ray, but shortly after they fell back into their regular schedule of working cases and catching criminals. Ray's Doctor had given him the okay to return to duty, though Fraser suspected it was more due to the detective's pestering then whether or not his shoulder was better.         Francesca had to show everyone her new bracelet, which she was wearing every day now and Welsh and the duck boys both seemed to enjoy the gifts both he and Ray had given them for Christmas. Fraser had noticed the small gold locket that adorned Assistant State's Attorney Stella Kowalski, one afternoon upon meeting her at the station. It looked vaguely familiar and he inquired politely about it. She had smiled, her fingers automatically rising to touch the charm and explained that it had been left at her desk at work but that she didn't know who had given it to her. Fraser believed she suspected whom it really was from, by the way she seemed to caress the locket, as she directed a shy glance at Ray, who was playfully arguing over something with Francesca at her desk. He had been tempted to ask to see the pictures inside, but again he suspected whom they would be of.          Then came his accident and time spent in the hospital and now he was the injured party instead of Ray. His partner seemed, different somehow, his usual boundless energy seemed to have tripled while Fraser was unconscious and Fraser was finding he became tired just watching the blond sometimes. The Kowalski's had dropped by yesterday, when Fraser and ray first arrived from the hospital, Barbara Kowalski had made sure they had plenty of food and necessities to get them through the week.          Fraser learned from a discreet conversation he over heard between Ray and his Father that Ray had actually paid for their cruise and insisted his Father use it as a Christmas gift to his mother, meanwhile Ray gave her the bread maker to cover his tracks. He was learning a lot about his new partner, what a generous person Ray was, but shy about admitting to that generosity. Ray liked to come across brash, tough and devil may-care, but Fraser had already started to see through him. Ray's kind heart was apparent to any who took the time to look, just like when the detective took the time to talk with that young boy in the mall awhile back.         He heard different noises from the front room, though he couldn't tell what they were and he wondered what Ray was up too. The music was on, as usual, drowning out some of the noise, but it was still enough that Fraser was curious. His intrigue got the better of him and he started to rise from the bed, only to have Diefenbaker climb across his legs and hold him in place effectively.         "What do you think you are doing?" he demanded surprised. "I am sure Ray didn't mean to literally keep me here, Diefenbaker." A whine was all the wolf would respond as he refused to move and with Fraser's ribs he didn't want to try and lift him. "You're supposed to be my wolf, Diefenbaker, why are you listening to him?" A woof. "Oh, he promised you something, didn't he? What a doughnut? A candy bar? What?" The wolf was silent. "Traitor. Show some loyalty and get off of me." Diefenbaker still refused to move. "I am the one who walks and feeds you, may I remind you and I can still mail you back to Canada, where there are no free meals and jelly doughnuts. The wolf moved and Fraser rose with a curt nod. He didn't get to the door before it opened and Ray stood there grinning.         "Where ya goin'?" he asked leaning against the doorframe, blocking Fraser's voice of the living room.         "I heard noise." Fraser replied easily. "I was going to offer assistance."         "None needed." Ray supplied taking Fraser's arm. "Close yer eyes."         "Why?"         "Just do it." Ray commanded. "And no peeking." Fraser sighed and complied, allowing Ray to guide him into the living room and settle him, what seemed like the floor, though it was cushioned, the air around them was chilled, but felt comfortable to Fraser. "Keep 'em closed." Ray warned as he moved away then came back a few minutes later and settled beside him and gently pushed Fraser to lay on his back. "Okay, you can open then now." Fraser opened his eyes and gasped.         White, sheets surrounded them perhaps from Ray's bed that he had arranged in a large tent on all three sides of where they lay, and above was a star lit sky that could match the deepest northern night. Ray had pasted what Fraser assumed were  luminescent stars all over his ceiling, in a background of the deepest midnight blue. A forest of pine trees and snow adorned the wall, projected from somewhere behind them, though they looked real enough for Fraser that it took his breath away.          All the other lights in the apartment were off except for whatever Ray was using to make the ceiling glow. Sounds of the northern forests seemed to be playing in the back ground and it felt so much like home that Fraser felt hot tears spring to his eyes. The stars blocked out all signs of Ray's apartment and the sheets that represented snow and the open windows created a wonderful arctic air around them. Ray had pulled on his jacket and was laying with his arms rested behind his head, watching Fraser carefully, Diefenbaker was curled up between them.         "Oh, Ray." Was all the Mountie could say as he carefully sat up and took it all in, all Ray's hard work to help him feel like he was back home in Canada, all the attention to detail that Ray deliberated over and the extra touches that made it special.         "I know it ain't really yer home, Frase." Ray offered kindly, still regarding him thoughtfully. "But I figure a little imagination can't hurt and it might help ya miss it a little less, y'know?" He pushed a small basket toward Fraser and grinned. "Check dat out." Fraser raised an eyebrow and opened the basket, staring at the contents in surprise. Deer Pemmican, or jerky as they called it in the states, shipped from Canada. A bag of hard tac, bark tea and a few other assorted delicacies that Fraser had commented on at one time or another. Ray had managed to ship many of his favored treats from his homeland and the cost must have been dear for such an exchange.         "Ray I..." Fraser's words were stuck in his throat. He didn't know what to say, how to express his gratitude to his partner.         "Just don't ask me ta eat very much of it wit ya." Ray joked and Fraser smiled kindly.         "Thank you, Ray." He managed. "For everything." Ray shrugged and rolled into a sitting position.         "I...I hope dat when you do, y'know..get ta go home." Ray paused as though searching for the proper words.       "When...when Vecchio comes back and if you...decide to go home dat you...well, keep in touch."         "Always, Ray." Fraser assured confidently. "I could never allow our friendship to become a...passing thing. I hope we are together for many years to come, Ray." He smiled again. "Perhaps you could come to Canada with me if I go, Ray?" Ray shivered and Fraser tried not to laugh.         "You kiddin'? I ain't into frostbite and phenomena, Fraser." He joked and Fraser did laugh then as both men lay back and enjoyed their evening under thet stars. The End   Check out my web page