Life Imitating Art...Or Vice Versa?  I apologise if this story's very
situation specific to the signing session DM and PG had in London on May
16, 1996. I have tried to make it as general as possible. Thanks again to
Audrey for actually *listening* to me! Much appreciated! Disclaimer:
Though I was at the scene, I had missed the action before the autographing
session, so, that and everything else is purely fictitious. All
character's are Alliance's etc. etc. All errors are my own. All comments
and criticisms are welcome.  Life Imitating Art...Or Vice Versa? by
Hsu-Lyn Yap "Where are we, Benny?" Ray asked worriedly, looking up and
down the quiet side street. "It would appear that Dr.Clarvison's
experiment is a success, Ray." Fraser looked about him, noting the
unfamiliar buildings. "Aww...Benny! You can't possibly believe all that
crap about a transporter ray. That's the stuff of movies!" Ray glanced
cautiously around him once more and put his gun away. "It would appear,
though, that we are not in Chicago anymore, Ray" Ray stared at Fraser, who
was in turn, looking past him out into the busy main road. He turned
around slowly, just in time to see a red double-decker bus trundle by.
There was a soft whine at their feet as Diefenbecker looked up at the both
of them unblinkingly. *He* did not like the strange sense of
disorientation as well. "So, what are you trying to say? That we have been
transported out of Chicago by that white light? Where's this, anyway?" "It
would appear that we have been transported due east." Fraser said,
consulting his compass. He looked about him again quizzically. "Very far
east, in fact." "Where did he stick us? New York? Boston?" Ray sighed and
walked up the street, Fraser following behind him. "Further than that,
actually, Ray. I believe he has relocated us to London." "London?" Ray
stopped and turned around slowly. "As in England?" "I believe so, Ray."
Fraser nodded towards another red bus. "We seem to be on Berwick Street,
just off Oxford Street." "So, what are we supposed to do now? How are we
going to get back to Chicago? I know I need a holiday, but this is too
short a notice, you know!" Ray threw his hands into the air exasperatedly.
"And if I had wanted to come to England,I would have preferred to take the
plane!" "You are over-reacting, Ray." "*I'm* over-reacting, let me tell,
you, Benny...." "Well, you didn't have to get in the way of the beam, you
know" Fraser interrupted. "Oh, and miss all this?" Ray raised his eyebrows
sarcastically. "The man was aiming a ray at you, Fraser, I think the
normal reaction would have been to duck, or even avoid it?" "I was going
to do something, Ray." Fraser contradicted. "You just got in my way."
"What were you going to do? Throw your hat?" "Well, actually, Ray. I don't
think the brim would be stiff enough to knock the machine aside,
though..." "Look. I don't want to know, alright? Shall we just try to find
our way back to Chicago?" "I believe there is a Canadian High Commission
and American Embassy in Grosvenor Square. We should report ourselves to
them so they can notify our superiors in Chicago." Fraser proceeded to
walk down the street. "What are we going to tell them? That we got
transported by a sci- fi ray to London? I wonder if I can claim this under
my transport allowance?" Ray followed the red-clad Mountie reluctantly.
"Hey, Fraser. You read maps of foreign cities in your spare time?" "No,
that'll just be a waste of time, Ray. Road maps change every so often, it
would be difficult to..." "So, you mean to say, you don't know where we
are heading?" Ray stopped in his tracks. "Well, technically..."
"Technically, you have no idea about London?" "Well, no, Ray, but...."
"No, buts, Fraser. We are going to do this the tourist way. We are going
to *ask* the way to the American Embassy!" "And the Canadian High
Commission" Fraser added. "Yes, that too." Ray nodded and turned around to
see a man looking curiously at Fraser. "What are you staring at? Haven't
you seen a mountie before?" "No, actually." the man looked bemused. "Well,
now you have! Can you tell us the way to Grosvenor Square?" "I don't think
he'll know, Ray." Fraser said quietly. "From his camera and map, I'd say
he is a tourist as well." "Great!" Ray rolled his eyes in resignation and
shook his head as Fraser obligingly posed for a picture. "Are you done
with your photo shoot? Can we go now? Thank you!" Ray hurried Fraser
along. "Look, we'll just ask the people in this store. They *must* be
Londoners." They stood before a large store, the neon sign proclaiming it
to be the HMV record store. A notice in the window next to the poster of
George Michael advertising his new single announced that: 'Paul Gross and
David Marciano will be signing copies of Due South videos in store on
Thursday, 16th May, 1996.' Ray hardly spared the notice a glance as he
entered the store. "Never heard of them. Never heard if the show, for that
matter!" "They are probably famous enough to warrant the attention, Ray."
Fraser followed Ray into the store, tipping his hat politely to a group of
girls who were watching the both of them with wide eyes. "I'm sorry, sir.
Dogs are not allowed in the store." a burly security guard barred their
way. "Well, actually, sir." Fraser glanced down at Diefenbecker. "He's
a.... "Dog. Actually, he is a dog." Ray interrupted quickly. "just leave
him outside, Fraser. We're just going to get directions. We won't be long,
and I think it'll be easier than than trying to explain why you are
walking around London with a wolf at your heels. It was difficult enough
when we were in Chicago!" "Paul! David!" the group of girls earlier had
their cameras in hand as they waved to the duo. "Paul and David?" Ray
raised an eyebrow at Fraser who simply gave a small shrug. "I'm afraid you
are mistaken, miss." Fraser removed his hat. "I'm Constable Benton Fraser,
Royal Canadian Mounted Police and this is Detective Ray Vecchio, Chicago
PD. We are..." "That must be Diefenbecker!" the girls interjected
excitedly as flashbulbs popped. "Gosh! Doesn't he look exactly like
Lincoln?" Diefenbecker gave a small whine and slunk closer to Fraser, who
was looking bewilderedly at Ray. "Must be the uniform." Ray shrugged.
"Can't be many Mounties running around London!" "Excuse me, miss. I would
appreciate it if you could tell us the way to the American Embassy and
Canadian High Comm...." Fraser attempted his question again. "Could we
have your autographs, please?" Fraser found various pictures of himself
and Ray being waved in front of him. "I..er..that is...oh dear!" his eyes
widened as he backed away. "Ray..." but Ray had his hands full as well.
"Aren't you supposed to be upstairs?" a voice cut through the crowd. Two
security officers approached them, escorted them away from the girls and
towards the escalators, talking into their walkie- talkies the whole time.
"There's been a change of plan." they were told. "You'll make your
entrance via the escalators." "Benny, it would seem that they have gotten
us confused with whoever Paul and David are." Ray whispered to Fraser as
they rode the escalators to the first floor. Diefenbecker followed closely
from behind them, determined not to lose sight of Fraser and Ray. "It
would appear to be the case, Ray. But I still don't know how they knew
Dief's name, and who Lincoln is." Ray took a deep breath and expelled it
slowly. "You are not here to solve a mystery, Benny. We just want to get
home. This is probably a case of mistaken identity." "Though how they can
mistake you in your uniform is totally beyond me!" he muttered under his
breath. As they got off the first floor, the first sight that greeted them
was a huge mass of people forming an orderly queue that was snaking around
the shelves of the videos on sale. A car chase scene was being played out
on the wall of television screens and Ray's eyes widened as he recognised
his Riv. They widened even further when he recognised the familiar red
uniform on screen. "Benny! That's you on TV!" "That's not possible, Ray.
I've never been on television before." "Then, *you* explain that!" Ray
pointed to the screens, just as applause and whistles greeted their
entrance. Before Fraser could reply, a door opened and a similarly
red-uniformed person stepped out. The noise died away into a stunned
silence, leaving only the sounds from the television monitors. "Ah! A
fellow Constable. I could try to enlist his assistance." "Fraser, the guy
looks exactly like you!" Ray said, unable to stop staring at the other
'Mountie'. "He's still a Mountie, Ray." Fraser stepped forward smartly and
acknowledged the other. "Constable Benton Fraser." He held out his hand.
"Well..er..." was all the other person managed to get out before he
clasped Fraser's hand. "Actually, it's just Paul Gross." "Constable Paul
Gross?" "No, just Paul Gross. I play Constable Benton Fraser, but this
is.." confusion was written all over his face as his voice died away. Ray
could hardly suppress a surprised grin. The man even had the same hunted
look Fraser wore whenever he was cornered. A look aptly described as the
one in the eyes of a deer caught in car headlights. "Let me introduce my
friend, Detective Ray Vecchio." Fraser gestured towards Ray. "He looks
exactly like me! You mean he's for real?" a surprised exclamation came
from behind Paul. "David Marciano." Ray found himself clasping the hand of
his own twin image. If not for the raincoat he was wearing, there was no
way to tell them both apart. "What's going on here, Benny?" Ray glanced
towards Fraser who was looking thoughtful. "I remember reading about this
in books before this, but I never thought it possible." Fraser mused. "It
would appear that Dr. Clarvison has transported us not only east, but east
into a parallel universe! It would seem the we do not exist here." "Only
as television characters." Paul explained. "David and I are actors. We
play 'Detective Ray Vecchio' and 'Constable Benton Fraser' in a tv series
called 'Due South'. It's about a Mountie and cop in Chicago and..." he
paused and looked at them thoughtfully. "I guess you know more than we do
what it's about." "I don't believe this, Benny. We don't even exist here!
How are we going to get back to Chicago! And why is everyone else frozen
in place except us?!" "I think it's because we should not be existing in
the same universe. There's been a distortion in the time continuum, and as
far as everyone else is concerned, once we go back, nothing out of the
ordinary would have happened." Fraser explained. "*If* we go back, you
mean." "Well, Ray,if you look closely, you'll find that we are getting
more insubstantial. I would suspect that only an aspect of of us was
transported here. Apparently, Dr. Clarvison's experiment was not as
successful as I thought it was." Ray stared at Fraser unblinkingly and
turned to the two actors. "Give the man a prize for never failing to
understate the situation! You are lucky *he's* fictitious. Hang around
Fraser long enough and you'll start valuing your life a whole lot more!"
"You don't really mean that, Ray." "Oh, yes, I do, Fraser. Ever since you
nearly drowned me in the bank vault, I've stopped counting. Can you
imagine being drowned in a bank vault?!" he rolled his eyes at Paul and
David. "Er..actually, I can." David flashed a grin. "And getting shot at,
getting lost in the woods while carrying him, blowing up the Riv...Sorry!"
he apologised quickly as a look of pain crossed Ray's face. "Is that
Diefenbecker?" Paul bent to look at the wolf who gave a little whine and
pressed closer to Fraser. "Yes. I apologise for his behaviour. He's
usually more polite." Dief simply ignored him. "Ah! I would presume your
Diefenbecker is played by Lincoln?" "Yes, he is. How did you know?" "It's
the Mountie thing. He just pulls information out of the air." Ray
interjected. "Well, actually, it was what the girls downstairs said about
Dief looking like Lincoln. Now that I know they are actors, Dief must be
played by another wolf..." "Dog, actually." Paul smiled apologetically.
"He's a siberian husky." Dief gave a little growl of protest and Fraser
looked down at him. "Don't complain, Diefenbecker. They can hardly have a
wolf running around in Chicago!" "Toronto, actually." Paul bit back a
smile. "We film in Toronto." "Ah!" Fraser glanced at Ray who had a look of
resignation on his face. "Toronto, Chicago...what do I care?! I just want
to go home,if it's fine by everyone!" At that moment, a bright light
appeared behind them and Ray could feel himself receding, even though he
hadn't moved. The two figures before him were getting smaller and smaller
and he had barely enough time to raise a hand in acknowledgement before
darkness fell. The last thing he heard was Fraser thanking them very
kindly for their time. "Oww...! My head hurts!" Ray sat up, rubbing his
head gingerly. The room in the basement was only illuminated by a single
light bulb. A complicated-looking machine stood in the corner of the room,
smoking slightly. A man in a white coat lay slumped over it. "Fraser? Are
you okay? Fraser! Diefenbecker!" he looked around for the Mountie. "Why do
I keep calling for a deaf wolf?!" "I'm here, Ray." Fraser's voice came
from the dim recesses of the room and Dief gave a little whine of
acknowledgement. "I had the strangest dream, Benny." Ray sat down by his
friend. "We were in London and there were these two guys who looked
*exactly* like us, and they were in a tv show about you coming to Chicago
and I was there, and..." "I had the same dream, Ray." Fraser picked up his
hat. A piece of card fell out of it. In the dim light, they could make out
a black and white picture of themselves on it. Below each figure were
printed the names: Paul Gross and David Marciano, repeated in the black
marker-pen scrawl next to each respective figure. Under the picture was a
bold type bearing the legend: DUE SOUTH. A look passed between them. "I
don't think it was a dream, Ray." "No, Benny. I don't think it was." THE
END Hsu-Lyn Yap llyjhly@ccn4.nott.ac.uk "So, how's school? Law School,
right? Did we make any mistakes as cops?" David Marciano - 16 May 1996
London HMV   Return to the Due South Fiction Archive