My Hero    My Hero by Jessie

  

 Warnings, Disclaimers, And All That Jazz: They're not mine. None of them.
Not even the Riv. I'm making Absolutely No Money, What-so-ever. Don't sue
me. It would be Impolite, Un-Mountie-like, and Down-Right Unproductive.
Not to mention Rude. 

 This is nothing but a silly piece of fluff that I thought up while making
the bed. Honest. Genius (Okay, okay! Maybe not genius per se...) comes at
the strangest times. 

 Oh, and one other Thing: All I know about Capitolization, I learned from
Emily Dickenson. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ My Hero
 by Jessie 

 A green Buick Riviara (a chariot fit for any Prince) pulls to a stop at
the curb next to the Canadian Consulate of Chicago. Out pops our Hero, the
ever wonderful green-eyed Italian, Detective Ray Vecchio. Hero, because,
at the moment, someone is in desperate need of his help. Someone in the
form of a Mountie statue bravely guarding his home turf against vicious
American school children and other related ilk. Our (Damsel?) In Destress
is one Constable Benny, and Our Villan- a young blond woman contentedly
pawing at red surge. Immediatly, our Hero springs into action. 

 "Hey! Hands off!" 

 Our Villan turns slowly to face Our Hero. "Excuse me?" 

 "I said, 'Hey! Hands off!'" 

 Our Evil Villan smiles and returns to her previous occupation. "You can't
make me. You're not Canadian." 

 "Of course not. I'm Italian." 

 Our Villan crosses her arms over her chest and spins to face Our Shining
Hero. "Is that suposed to mean something?" Her eyes drift skyward in an
Expression Of Extreme Bordom. 

 Our Hero: "Canadians are polite." 

 Our Vile Villan: "So you're definately not Canadian." 

 Our Ever-Witty Hero responds with a perfect set-up line. "No. Like I
said.- I'm Italian. ...And you know what they say about Italians..." 

 Our Villan stupidly plays along, albeit with another Expression Of
Extreme Bordom. "No... What do they say about Italians?" Gum is popped for
added emphasis. 

 Our Hero gives a Beautifully Wicked Grin, in anticipation of victory.
"That we're Jealous, Possesive, and have Violent Tempers. Now hands off my
Mountie!" He is greeted by a puff of smoke, as Our Villan vanishes from
before his eyes. 

 Just then, the Clock Strikes Five. 

 Our (Damsel?) In Distress is Magically released from the Curse set on him
by the Evil Dragon. He turn's to face the Victorious Italian. 

 "My Hero," He says, just before the End Of Story Kiss (Which is, after
all, customary in situations like this one). 

 END
 +++++++++++++++++++++++
 coments, flames, and mushy love notes welcome at
chow_mein_noodles@yahoo.com