Smile. Tomorrow will be worse. Standard disclaimer. I have a confession to make. I am not now, nor have I ever been a gay man. Oh well, they're fictional tv characters and I'm only borrowing them so don't get your panties in a wad. Please send comments, questions, compliments, and otters to sdelcul@mail.com or visit http://www.members.xoom.com/dueSou. Smile. Tomorrow will be worse Part One: If at first, you don't succeed . . . 6:30 a.m. Muttering a few indelicate expletives, he reaches over and turns off the alarm clock with one heavy smack that coincidentally knocks said clock onto the floor. He'd been having the most wonderful dream . . . 6:47 a.m. He finally manages to stand up and open his eyes, in that order. Taking off his pajamas, he reaches for a shirt, tripping over his pants and hitting his head on the same table which had once held the infamous alarm clock. Only a strong will prevents him from drawing a small circle on the wall and banging his head on it. Repeatedly. 6:53 a.m. Halfway down the stairs to breakfast, he notices a loose string. He tugs on it, and the button comes off and cascades down the stairs. 6:59 a.m. He finally spots the button at the bottom of the stairs. Unfortunately, so does Gina, Maria's three-year-old daughter, who promptly eats button. Bye bye button. 7:12 a.m. Ray finally manages to convince Maria that a trip to the emergency room is unwarranted. His plans to skip breakfast in order to pick up Benny on time fail when his mother catches on. She insists on fixing him the most important meal of the day. He appreciates the thought but desperately misses seeing Fraser. 7:37 a.m. He finally gets into the Riv and heads to the station for an 8:00 appointment with Louise St. Laurent to go over his upcoming court testimony. 8:00 a.m. He's stuck in a traffic jam caused by an accident. Even with a badge, he can't get through. 8:13 a.m. He arrives at the station, hoping to sneak in somehow, and manage a cup of coffee before facing the firing squad. It appears to be a five-cup day. Before lunch. 8:15 a.m. With a lukewarm cup of coffee, he approaches his desk. About to call Louise and apologize, he runs into her. Literally, spilling bad break room coffee on himself and her expensive blouse. She is not pleased. 8:20 a.m. A change of clothes for both of them, and he spends the next forty-seven minutes apologizing, arguing, and answering her questions. 9:20 a.m. He calls the Consulate, planning to apologize and arrange lunch. From Turnbull, he learns that "Constable Fraser is in with Inspector Thatcher, Detective. I think now would not be a good time to interrupt." He leaves a message. 10:14 a.m. A grumpy, virus-infected Lieutenant sends him out to speak to some witnesses. Outside he finds the Riv missing from its usual place. Almost panicking, he finds a note. It seems Francesca had 'borrowed' the Riv. 10:23 a.m. Hitching a ride with another officer, he finds that Huey and Dewey have already arrived and questioned the witnesses. They've also made an arrest. The butler did it. Who would have thought? 10:47 a.m. Back at the station, he sits down to fill out paperwork that's been backing up. If Benny was here, he thinks, this could almost be fun. The phone rings. Hoping it's Fraser returning his phone call, he picks up. "Vecchio." The voice that replied was not the one he wanted to hear most. "Morning Ma. No, just paperwork. What can I do for you?" He sighed quietly. "Sure. Let me just grab some paper. Okay, peppers, eggs, and cereal for the kids. Anything else?" "Hemorrhoid cream? Eeeeewww! Who has -~- never mind. I don't wanna know." 11:00 a.m. The Riv reappears in its usual place. Francesca is miraculously nowhere to be seen. 12:53 p.m. He heads to the courthouse, fully prepared to testify, and put some scum away. 1:12 p.m. The defendant doesn't show. Trial is postponed until the defendant is found. 1:23 p.m. He returns to the station, still no return call from Fraser. On the off chance that he didn't get the message, he calls the Consulate. Fraser is in with Thatcher. Again. Turnbull sounds nervous. 1:35 p.m. He eats lunch at his desk, by himself. Spilling sauce on his suit, he feels like crying. 1:42 p.m. He sneezes onto his sandwich. He wasn't hungry anyway, it had no taste. Most likely, he's catching Welsh's cold. 2:07 p.m. An angry witness pulls a gun. During the fight, he is punched in the stomach. In the end, everything that was on his desk, in semi-organized piles is on the floor. 2:47 p.m. His desk finally returned to its pre-entertainment status, he is finished for the day mentally. The urge to bang his head against the wall returns with a vengeance. 3:13 p.m. He pulls into the supermarket parking lot. Walking into the store, he interrupts a burglary. 5:18 p.m. He finishes the writing his report on the burglary and realizes that he hasn't even talked to Fraser today, and it's too late to pick him up. Since he has the next afternoon off, he begins planning how to spend it with his best friend. Halfway out the door again, he realizes that he's forgotten the hemorrhoid cream. 6:12 p.m. After stopping by a different grocery store, he goes home. When Tony Jr. sees him coming in, he runs and jumps to be carried. Four year olds weigh a ton, especially since Ray is already sore. His horrible day is forgotten when Fraser walks out of the kitchen. There is something extremely gratifying about having the Mountie in his house, spending time with the family that's become just as much his as Ray's. "Hello, Ray." Fraser is wearing his Mona-Lisa smile, but Ray doesn't notice. "Benny! You don't know how happy I am to see you." He says more than he intended to, but he's not out of line. Fraser smiles uncontrollably at that, and Ray vows to do whatever it takes to keep him that happy, even if he has to dance the Macarena. "The rest of the family has already eaten, Ray." His smile fell slightly. "I waited for you, Ray." "I'm sorry Benny, it's been the longest - oh, you mean to eat." Only his deep complexion covered him from embarrassment. "There's something I need to tell you." With everybody coming in and out of the kitchen, it was obvious that whatever Ben had to say, it wouldn't happen there. They drive back to Ben's apartment for a little peace and quiet. 7:25 p.m. "So Benny, what was it you wanted to tell me?" After a few false starts, Ben's words were nothing like what Ray expected to hear. "Inspector Thatcher offered me a transfer." "So we'll just fight her on it, Benny. You'll see, she can't make you-" "I accepted." "-go." Wait. That wasn't right. "What? Why?" Panic bubbled inside of him. "I never wanted to be a burden to you." "You aren't a burden, Benny. You're my friend." This wasn't happening. "I came to Chicago to find my father's killer. I didn't intend to stay her but I was stationed here for disgracing the RCMP. A transfer back now means that they no longer feel that way. Don't you think so? I can go home, Ray." I think I've already lost you. I think you're already gone. I think I'm finally scared. I think I think too much. "I'm happy for you, Benny. I'll miss you." I can't handle this right now. I need to think but I'm running out of time. "I'll miss you too." The moment called for a hug, but it was too much for Ray. "I gotta go. I'll talk to you tomorrow." He walked as slowly as he could to the door, barely restraining himself from running. 8:22 p.m. It is early, too early for sleep and besides, he is sure sleep will be almost impossible tonight. On the other hand, there's nothing else he can do. He definitely doesn't feel like being around his family right now, they will ask questions that he can't answer. Right now, he has to take care of himself and figure out what to do. Maybe if he has an idea, his family will never know anyway. 10:15 p.m. After staring at the darkened ceiling for almost two hours, he drifts off to sleep. 10:37 p.m. He wakes up from the first of several nightmares; he had been trapped in a box with no way out. It was dark and cold and absolutely quiet. Shivering, he gathered another quilt and curled around a pillow. At least tomorrow won't be Monday. Part Two: Try . . . . 6:30 a.m. He woke up before the alarm this time. For once, he was happy to get up and have something to do. Throwing on some clothes, he flew down the stairs, rushed through breakfast and was out the door in less than half an hour. 7:07 a.m. Driving to West Racine, he spots a traffic accident that might increase traffic. Some people should not be allowed to breathe, much less drive, he mutters under his breath. 7:10 a.m. He pulls up to Ben's apartment, and prepares himself. He waits for Fraser to bring up the transfer again, but can't bring himself to do it. The car ride is strangely quiet. The only commentary, a few grumbles from Diefenbaker in the back. 8:02 a.m. The sound of a throat clearing loudly makes him look up into the annoyed face of Ms. St. Laurent. "Did we forget ourselves, Vecchio?" She asks snidely, her foot tapping impatiently. "Excuse me?" "We had an eight o'clock appointment, remember?" "But that was-" She was wearing the blouse again. The one that he'd spilt coffee on just- there was no sign of a stain. "It's right there on your desk calendar, Vecchio. Monday, eight o'clock." And so it was. It had been with great pleasure that he had thrown that particular calendar page away. He considered the possibility that it could be part of some bad practical joke, but there was no way Louise would have played along. Obviously for everyone else, it was Monday, even though for him, it was Tuesday. Assuming that it was Monday, there were two possibilities; either he was cracking up, or somehow he was doomed to repeat one of the worst days of his life. Considering that this morning had been different from what he remembered, maybe he could change events. Listening to Louise with only half a mind, he contemplated the possibilities. 9:53 a.m. A few minutes before his car would be borrowed, h moves the car to another spot, leaving the unsuspecting Francesca to bum a ride. He leaves the station before being called in by Welsh, avoiding catching the Lieutenant's cold. He also manages to avoid the call from his mother. 11:13 a.m. He returns to his desk to find that someone has taken the message from his mother, drawing a smiley face by the fourth item on the list, Preparation H. 12:53 p.m. He heads to the courthouse, fully prepared to testify, and put some scum away. 1:12 p.m. The defendant doesn't show. Trial is postponed until the defendant is found. 2:05 p.m. When the witness comes into the station, Ray is watching. His "quick thinking and bravery" save the day. 3:02 p.m. Ray tips off the uniforms about the grocery store burglary. Quite satisfied with himself, he decides to surprise Fraser at the Consulate. He can leave early today, he's been rather productive. 3:18 p.m. He gets called in by Welsh, who wants to know why he didn't say anything sooner. Again, of course, he's exposed to Welsh's cold. 3:48 p.m. He's at the Consulate but Fraser isn't. Turnbull informs him that Thatcher sent him home early. He drives to West Racine, but Fraser isn't there. It occurs to him to check back at the station and he's correct. Fraser is there. 4:04 p.m. Since they're early, Maria asks them to take the kids to the park. Ray is about to try and evade the duty, but a polite Ben assures her that it won't be a problem. 5:01 p.m. Having entertained the kids and walked Dief, they return to the house for an early dinner, after which Ray drives Ben home. "Benny, I need to talk to you." He tried to psych himself up for this conversation. I have to do this. If I don't, he leaves. "I have to talk to you too, Ray. Inspector Thatcher offered me a transfer." "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." He ignored Ben's surprise and continued. "Before you decide, there's something I want to tell you." "What is it Ray?" "I care about you Benny. You're my best friend. I -" He almost choked on the words, too chicken to say it, even when everything was on the line. "I care about you too, Ray. I never really had a best friend before, not like you. But I came to Chicago on the trail of my father's killers; I never meant to stay here. I guess I'm homesick. I'm sorry Ray, I accepted the transfer." "Where will you go?" Someone else was guiding his mouth. He'd honestly intended to tell Benny the truth. "I'll be in Toronto for a few days, and then I'll be stationed." "When?" This isn't happening. He felt detached, any moment now, he would float back to reality. "This Thursday." Or maybe not. Thursday was only three days away. "I can't change your mind?" "I'm afraid not." He forced the words out bluntly. "I love you." Fraser nodded. "I love you too. You gave me a family, Ray. I will never forget you." 6:37 p.m. After leaving Fraser's apartment, he drives around a while before going home. Lightning doesn't strike, but neither does inspiration. As soon as he walks in the door, his mother is asking for the items he was supposed to pick up. He forgot them, of course. 7:12 p.m. He returns from the store with the desired products. Deciding not to repeat the day again, he plans to stay up all night, and make sure Tuesday arrives. To that end, he begins drinking coffee, lots and lots of coffee, and brainstorming ideas, lots and lots of ideas, very few of which are plausible. Part Three: And try again. 6:30 a..m. He blinks, and the alarm goes off. At some point he must have fallen asleep. Bladder full, he makes a quick pit stop before getting dressed. 7:30 a.m. Afraid to jinx things by talking to Benny, he drives straight to the station. 7:55 a.m. He finally gathers up the courage to look at his desk calendar. Before he can look, a shadow falls over the page. He looks up. "Shall we get started? Closing his eyes tiredly he stands. "Why not?" Able by now to anticipate her questions, he leaves her with a good impression for once. 8:35 a.m. Acting on an anonymous tip, he tells the uniforms about an attempted burglary planned for later that day. He also leaves a note for Welsh. 10:08 a.m. He offers Francesca a ride to her job interview. Pleasantly surprised because she hadn't told anyone, she accepts. 10:47 a.m. Resigned to the embarrassment, he takes the phone call from his mother. Francesca returns happily employed, and quite happy to return the favor by doing some shopping for him. 12:33 p.m. Caught up to his paperwork, he spends lunch deciding he has to tell Fraser the entire truth. 12:53 p.m. He heads to the courthouse, fully prepared to testify, and put some scum away. 1:12 p.m. The defendant doesn't show. Trial is postponed until the defendant is found. 2:05 p.m. He talks calmly with the witness, averting the whole situation. 2:30 p.m. He arrives at the Consulate. Spotting him, Thatcher frowns. Very politely, he asks her to give Fraser the rest of the day off, citing personal reasons, assuring her that it's not crime related. Not fully convinced, she nonetheless gives Fraser the rest of the day off. 2:41 p.m. In the Riv, he took a deep breath and started talking. "Listen Benny, I know you have something to say to me, but so do I, and I really need to go first okay?" Ben nodded. Pulling up to the apartment he continued. "I'm not quite sure how to say this, although I've been putting this off so long that I should. But I'm just going to keep talking, and hopefully some of it will make some sense, so please, just listen for a while, okay?" "Certainly Ray." He waited until they were safely settled in the apartment before beginning. "I'm scared to death right now." "Ray-" "Don't interrupt!" He snapped. "Sorry. But I really need you to listen right now. When I'm done you can say whatever you want to, but this is the only way I'm going to get it out." At Fraser's nod he continued. "You've been the best friend I've ever had. And it's not because you always do what I want. You challenge me to become a better person. You make me like who I am." Looking up, he eyed Fraser. "I love you." He said finally. "I love you as a friend, and as a brother, and -more than that." He broke away from the chair and stood up, beginning to pace. "If you don't feel the same way, I'll understand, and I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. But I had to let you know that you have a life and a family here, and you have me. If you want me that is. I-" Turning, he found himself walking into the embrace of a red uniform. Even as he was being squeezed, it didn't quite register until a warm, slippery tongue in his mouth prevented him from talking for several minutes. "I'm not going to ask how you knew that Inspector Thatcher offered me a transfer." "Please don't accept." He tried to pull away but Fraser tightened his grip. "I won't. I love you too." 3:17 p.m. Lips swollen from kissing, Ray pulled away again. "Ma's making dinner. Will you come?" "Yes. Afterwards, I'll make desert. Will you come?" Ray laughed. Only Fraser could have said that without the slightest hint of innuendo. "Yes. But first, would you do something for me?" "Of course. What would you like me to do?" Pulling his phone out of his coat pocket, he handed it over. "Call the Dragon Lady, and tell her you aren't going anywhere." Ben smiled at him gently. "Not without you, Ray." That deserved another kiss. Or two. Or- distracted, he pulled away. "Here. Call before I forget how to do anything but kiss you." Epilogue: Habit woke him up when the alarm clock didn't. It also made him reach out and turn off the clock, even though it wasn't there. When his hand failed to hit the clock or even the side table, he sat up and opened his eyes. And blinked. It took him precisely thirty-three seconds to recognize his surroundings. That explained the lack of alarm clock, but what was he doing here? A hand reached out and pulled him down to stare into sleep-soft blue eyes. He grinned. Ah yes. Now he remembered. His grin grew even bigger and wider as he remembered. He turned the rest of his body to face Fraser. Pulling him close enough to rub noses, he felt panicked. "What day is it, Benny?" Confusion clouded Fraser's face. "It's Tuesday. Are you okay?" Planting a kiss on those tempting lips, he moved until his entire body was pressed nice and close to Fraser's. "I'm better than okay. How are you?" "I'm good." Ben said. "You sure are." He said, just to see him blush prettily. A loud rumbling noise reached his ear. "Sounds like a thunderstorm. Let's stay in for breakfast." "Might as well stay for lunch then." And Fraser pulled him into another kiss.