This is what happens when one goes to summer school...

Standard disclaimer: just borrowed em, don't have any money, so please
don't bother suing me. 

M/M PG or something like that

Cave In
By Kateri Marie
Trinity160@aol.com

	"I don't believe this. I can't believe this keeps happening to
us!"
Detective Ray Vecchio raved trying unsuccessfully to fight down the
mounting
hysteria in his chest. The lighter he held flickered as his violent tirade
rushed over it. 	"Well Ray technically speaking we've never been in
a
situation like this before. Being trapped in a series of collapsing caves
is definitely not a situation which I've been in before." Constable Benton
Fraser of the RCMP spoke with level voice, in an equally vain attempt
to calm his excitable partner.	"Damn it Benny, don't you think I know
that?!" The Italian's temper was fraying close to the breaking point.
He always had disliked closed dark spaces. "I was talking about the fact
that we seem to have this incredible knack for getting into these sick
near death situations!" 	"I don't think discussing this will
benefit
the current situation, Ray." Benton said as calmly as he could while
he ran his fingers over the cave walls searching for a way out.        
"BENEFIT!
ARE YOU INSANE?" Ray screamed and the lighter flickered out. A moment
later and the slim light was back on, casting the faintest light
throughout
the tiny cavern and casting Ben's figure into shadowy relief. "What kind
of benefit can you find in being trapped in an underground tomb?!"     
"Ray
in case you haven't noticed we are fairly solidly trapped in this cavern.
I have not yet found evidence of air getting in or out. If there is none
and you continue raving like you are we will likely run out of air very
soon."	"I AM NOT... wait a second. Run out of air?" Even though Benton
couldn't see his friend, he could hear him go pale in the darkness. 
"Yes Ray." Benton said calmly. "I haven't yet found any air duct which
means no air is coming in. That means we have only the air in here at
this moment. And I suggest we do without the lighter for a while, it
uses up oxygen."	"It's the damn vault all over again!" Ray just
barely
stopped himself before starting another tirade for which Benny was
grateful.
He let the lighter drop to his side and they were consumed by the
darkness.
A rumble sounded dimly in the distance and Ray's green eyes widened,
"Benny, what was that?" 	"The caves are collapsing Ray. That one
was
about six systems back."	"Collapsing?"
	Benny didn't answer and Ray waited, listening to the gentle
scrabble
of his friend testing the walls of their prison. Then the sound stopped
and Ray's breath caught. He waited a moment, straining his ears for any
noise. But there was only silence. His heart stopped in his chest.
"Benny?!
Benny?!"	His heart started again pounding with relief as his
friend's
voice came out of the darkness. "I think I've found an air inlet, Ray."
Ray let out a huge sigh of relief barely hearing about the air duct
through
the rush of relief at his friend's safety. "You had me scared there
Benny."
There was silence for a moment. "I won't let anything happen to you,
Ray. We'll get out of here." /I promise./ Ray couldn't hear the words
Benny whispered in his mind but his voice carried the solemn finality
of the feelings hidden in his heart and Ray felt his own heart flop over.
/What the hell's going on here?/  Ray wondered, shocked at the way his
heart was thudding painfully in his chest. The moment of shock paralyzed
his defenses and the hysteria he'd been so valiantly fighting down surged
up. "What are you going to do, Benny? Wave your magic wand and get us
out of here? You may be Super Mountie but even you can't get us out of
this one." He rubbed his scalp with his hands, "God, why didn't I call
for back up? I should have known better."	The soft groan from his
friend
almost tore Benton's heart out. His heart surged within his chest and
he forced sore hands once more to the wall, feeling flesh give against
the harsh rock. "It's going to be all right Ray. I'm working on enlarging
the hole around the air duct."	But Ray's hysteria erupted at the first
sentence and blocked out the second, "ARE YOU CRAZY? It's not going to
be all right! We're going to die! Oh God." His voice choked off. "The
family... Ma... Frannie... What will they do?"	"You're not going to
die, Ray. It will be okay." Benton kept the grimace from his tone at
the anguish in his partner's voice. /I won't let it happen. I will find
a way. I promise you./ Renewed strength surged through him as he hauled
a rock away from the hole. A brush of cool air greeted him stinging
against
his torn palms. /Thank God. If I can just get this hole big enough.../
Another rumble sounded, louder this time and Ray didn't even bother to
ask what it was. Another cave system was collapsing.	"It's not going
to be okay, Benny! Who will take care of them if I die?"	"Ray, I
need
the lighter." Benny's voice in his ear made Ray jump.	"Damn it, Benny!"
Ray cursed as he jumped. "What the hell are you doing?" 	Benny knew
better
than to tell Ray what he was up to, "May I have the lighter please, Ray?"
"It's in my hand, Benny." He held up the lighter even though he knew
Benny couldn't see his hand.	Sure enough, he felt a movement above his
hand and then the lighter was lifted up. "Thank you kindly, Ray." A few
drops of wetness fell on Ray's wrist and he jumped again at the lukewarm
sensation.	"What was that?"
	"What, Ray?"
	"What the hell are you dripping on me?"
	Benny stilled beside him for a moment. Then he was moving away,
"It's
probably just some of the moisture on my hands from the cave walls."
There was something odd in his tone and Ray heard it.	"Oh God." Ray
gasped, completely misinterpreting the tone. "This blasted hole has water
coming in?! I was right! It is the damn vault again! We're gonna drown
or be crushed. And Ma and Maria and Frannie and Tony..." He rambled on
in hysterical lament as another rumble sounded loud enough to make the
very air shudder.	"We aren't going to die, Ray. Don't worry." There
was flicker of light to his side as Benny briefly lit up his corner of
the cave then let it fall dark again.	The apparent calmness in his voice
broke what was left of Ray's fragile control. "Yeah it's easy for you
to say that isn't it! It's easy for you to be calm! Your family's dead,
there's no one to care if you don't come back!" 	The cave went
deathly
silent as the words soaked into the very walls. "Oh God." Ray whispered,
his words echoing back at him like thunder as he realized what he'd said.
There was no sound from Ben's corner of the cave. "Oh God, Benny... I'm
sorry... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean..."	Fraser didn't give him a
chance
to finish. "Don't, Ray." Benton's voice was slightly harsh. "You've said
more than enough."	Ray opened his mouth to try and say something, say
anything, but Benny's words struck him in the gut and his eyes filled
with tears. /Oh Benny, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... please... I didn't
mean.../	The stunned, painful silence stretched on and Ray heard
Ben's
scrabbling start again. A rumble that shook the back wall seemed to drop
into the silence and instinctively Ray moved closer to Benton.	"The
caves are collapsing." There was urgency in the still neutrality of
Benton's
voice that made Ray shiver. "I've made a hole large enough for us to
get through. Come on. You'll have to go first." 	"Wait a second.
What
about you? What if the cave collapses...?"
	"There isn't time to argue over this. Get moving. You're going
first."
There was a self-mocking finality in Ben's voice that made Ray's heart
ache.	"Benny... you should go first. I don't want you hurt." He'd moved
over towards the hole where there was faint light shining through but
his friend's face stayed in shadow.	A sharp hollow laugh rent the air,
"Ray just go through the hole. You're wasting time and your family's
going to be worried."	"Benny..."
	Ben cut him off, viciously propelling him towards the hole, "Let
me
make this perfectly clear, I do NOT matter. Or don't you realize this?
You are the only person on this whole planet who gives a damn whether
I'm dead or alive but people out there are waiting for you to come home.
Now get through the hole or I'll put you in it myself. You are all I
have; I will NOT lose you! I'll be right behind you. NOW GO!" There was
no arguing with the fierce self-loathing in Benny's tone and it stunned
Ray so he could struggle no more against the powerful arms that hefted
him into the small corridor and he started the desperate mindless scrabble
for the light.	"The tunnel's collapsing!" Ben yelled from behind him.
"We have to go faster." 	Ray crawled forward as fast as he could
but
the tunnel was rough and his hands were already sore from the harsh rock.
He wanted to say something, in case... in case... but the dust from the
tunnels collapsing on their heels was making it hard to breathe much
less talk. Time has slowed, or stopped, or was thrust into some rhythm
that Ray couldn't understand much less make sense of for he had no idea
how long they crawled upward before he heard the oof! from behind him.
"Benny?!" He choked on the name but he stopped and turned to check on
his partner.	"Don't stop." Ben insisted, coughing slightly. "We don't
have much time."	"Are you all right?" He asked as he started again,
still waiting anxiously for an answer.	"I'm fine. Just keep moving."
The voice was clogged with dust but Ray could make out the words and
they spurred him to move faster. The dust was getting thicker in the
cave and he could hear the thunderous crash of collapsing walls behind
them and Ben's ragged breathing as he labored behind him. And it was
the sound of those ragged breaths that gave him the burst of speed to
reach for the source of the dim light that he could just barely see.
"Help!" Ray half screamed, half coughed as got his hands on the surface.
"Is anyone there?! Help us!" Thank God. He praised as he heard voices
to the side. He could vaguely make out Lt. Welsh's voice and his mother's
voice among the clamor. "We're over here!"	Then there were hands,
helping
him and pulling him out of the dark ground. His mother's arms enveloped
him as the hands went back for his partner. He tried to twist to see
how Benton was but his mother had him in an Italian stranglehold. He
listened as best he could but there was voices everywhere, shouting and
crying and sirens, and they were all melting into a blur no matter how
hard he tried to find his friend's voice among them.	When his mother
finally let him go, Welsh spurted him away, demanding to know just what
the hell had happened. Four sentences into the explanation Welsh shook
his head and threw up his hands, "Just have the report on my desk tomorrow
morning."	Ray nodded distractedly as he searched the crowd for Ben.
But eventually after surveying the swirling mass for the millionth time,
he was forced to face the fact that his friend had gone. /Why wouldn't
he wait for me?/ Then his mind kicked back into action and Ray groaned.
/Why would he wait? Or have you forgotten so soon what you said to him
in there? You're lucky he didn't tell you flat out to never get near
you again./ His heart quailed as his cruel words echoed again and again
in his head. But his mother was at his side, fussing over him and
demanding
he came home so she could feed him some pasta. As an Italian, it was
essential after any near death experience to consume mass amounts of
pasta as a cure all. And Ray had learned long ago there was no fighting
his mother. So he gave up and submitted to his mother's ministrations,
not even bothering to ask what she was doing there. /I'll go talk to
Benny later. Make him understand. Apologize... And pray to God it's not
too late./ Ray trembled as his own words slashed through his head. /Please
God don't let it be too late. It can't be. Benny will forgive you...
Benny would forgive you anything... even loving him./	Ray started at
his thoughts. /WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?/	"Raimundo!" His
mother's
voice cut through his anxious thoughts. "You're hurt! There's blood on
your arm! We must get a doctor!"	Ray felt time turn to molasses as
his
green eyes fell to his sleeve and wrist. The red stains on the dusty
suit and the wet splotches on his skin made his blood freeze. Seconds
crawled by without notice until a frantic voice nearby called him out
of the trance.	"I don't need a doctor ma." Ray was amazed that his vocal
chords still worked. "I'm fine. Really, I'm fine." He stopped his very
vocal mother from bringing the whole paramedic crew to his side. "Please
ma. It's nothing."	Finally with his mother pacified, Ray ran over to
Lt. Welsh's side, grabbing his superior's jacket before he could climb
into his car. "Sir!"	Welsh glared at him for a moment before the sheer
desperation in the Italian's eyes got through to him, "What is it,
Vecchio?"
"Did... did you see Benny?"  There was something infinitely vulnerable
in his voice.	"I believe I saw the back of the Constable as he left
about ten minutes ago. Why?"	Ray's eyes closed in a wince and he took
several slow deep breaths. "I... I just wanted to talk with him. That's
all." /It was probably just from a scratch... that's all... a little
scratch./	His mind drifted into semi hysteric prayer and his ears
picked
up some amazed voices, "How in the hell did they get out of there?" "I
don't know, that cave in was solid rock." "The red guy said something
about digging around an air duct." "Not possible. He must have been
bragging
or something. The cave in must have crumbled an opening. This rock is
worse than sandpaper. You ain't gonna convince me that they dug their
way out." "Yeah but did you see..." The voices faded out of Ray's hearing
and he felt something in him quiver.	Then his mother came up behind
him, "Raymundo you are too pale. We must get you home." 	He almost
stopped
her, almost told her he had to go find Benny but then he realized he
didn't know what to say. /I'll think that out tonight and find him
tomorrow./
He nodded wearily to himself as he climbed behind the wheel of the RIV.
Tomorrow will be soon enough. 

	"Here's my report sir." Ray said, near throwing the thick report
onto
Welsh's desk.	"Fine." Welsh surveyed his detective. Vecchio looked worn
and pale and very very worried. "Why don't you take the rest of today
off?"	Ray's green eyes widened in surprise for a moment and Welsh glared
at him frankly, "You look like something the wolf dragged in. Now get
out of here. Don't wait until my generosity fades."	"No sir." Ray
said,
then blushed slightly as he corrected, "I mean, yes sir. I mean... see
ya tomorrow sir." He beat a retreat as fast as possible. 

	Twenty minutes later, Ray slid the RIV into one of the handicapped
spots
in front of the Consulate. Benny hadn't been at his apartment that morning
and Ray really didn't blame him for walking to work in order to avoid
him. He looked up, surprised to see Turnbull doing statue duty for a
change. /Maybe the Inspector has a heart after all.../ Ray mused. Pain
lanced through him once more, /but that doesn't matter. I've got to talk
to Benny./	He flew through the doors of the Consulate and ran
straight
to Benton's office, a sudden urgency swelling within him. "Benny?" he
called as he burst through the doors of the tiny office. But there was
no answer; the office was empty.	Confused and disturbed, Ray made
his
way to the Inspectors office. "What the hell have you done with Benny?"
he exclaimed as he thrust himself into the spacious office.	Inspector
Thatcher looked up in shock, "Detective?"
	"Where's Benny?" Ray demanded.
	The Inspector's brow furrowed, "I would imagine he's still at the
hospital,
Detective. I gave him two sick days."	In that one instant, Ray felt
his world come crashing down around him. The office swirled around him
for a moment and then he felt hands on his arm guiding him into a chair.
"Hospital?" He didn't recognize his own voice; it was little more than
a harsh whisper.	"Yes." The Inspector's face was contorted in
confusion
and worry. She was not used to grown men turning so pale she feared they
would faint. "He was taken to the hospital after one of his escapades
last night. Didn't you know? I could have sworn he told me he was with
you." She perched herself against her desk as she watched the Detective
visibly take hold of himself and stand. 	"I have to go Inspector."
he
headed towards the door but paused. "Do you know which...?"	"St.
Mary's."
She answered instantly, still confused. She wasn't blind either. She
knew exactly how her deputy lesion officer felt about this man, his
partner.
What she didn't know was why. The dark head shook confusedly. She didn't
understand men. 

	Coherent thought fled his mind as Ray ripped the RIV into traffic,
/Benny
was hurt, Benny was hurt. He's at the hospital... Oh God./	He set a
record for getting to the hospital and flew through the entrance. He
arrived at the nurse's station pale and panting, completely unable to
ask anything at all. Then as he was trying to gasp out a request for
his friend, he heard a voice call his name, "Ray? Ray Vecchio?"        
Ray
spun around to see a lovely sturdy blond staring at him in mild shock.
"Jill. Where's Benny? Do you know?" His words came out in mild gasps
and Jill Kennedy's brow furrowed slightly.	"I was wondering where you
were. Normally when Ben's in here you aren't very far behind."	"Is he
all right?" Ray didn't much care about anything else.
	"He checked himself out early this morning. Against doctor's
recommendation
as usual." Jill said, surprised that he didn't know. "Didn't you know
that he was brought in here last night?"	"No." It was half a sob.
"But
I should have."
	Jill guided the shaking man to a waiting room chair and heard him
ask
ever so quietly, "What... how... where was he hurt?"	"I didn't see him
long but it looked like a bruised shoulder and a cracked rib or something.
Nothing permanent from the looks of it." There was enough hesitation
in her voice to raise piercing green eyes to look at her, through her.
"But?"
	Jill relented, "But he didn't look like himself. It was eerie.
Almost
like when I first met him. Somehow defeated." Jill hadn't thought the
Italian could get anymore pale but the white-faced man went ashen at
her words. "Ray?" There were the beginnings of alarm in her voice.     
"I've
got to go." Ray stammered out. "I've got to find him." He ran from her
compassionate gaze. /Where could he be?/ Ray thought as he paused in
the hospital doors. /Home. I'll start with his apartment. Then the park.
Damn! How could I have been such a fool?/ Visions of the scar on his
friend's back danced in his head and he moaned softly. "I promised I'd
never hurt you again. Oh God help me."	
	Ray never would remember the trip back to Benton's apartment. What
he
would remember with painstaking clarity was the flights of stairs between
him and his friend, each one creaking somehow louder and more achingly
than the last. He would have given anything to be able to crash through
the door with the comfortable ease of earlier days but the memory of
his own words bound him strong and he lifted a shaking fist to the door.
The hollow taps echoed inside him like a death knell and he shuddered
perceptibly.	There were shuffling sounds from inside and he sighed with
relief; at least Dief was home. The shuffled footsteps, for that was
what Ray's heart hoped they were, paused at the door. He didn't say a
word, fearing that if Ben knew who it was he would not answer at all.
The door cracked open and a startling blue eye peered out from a haggard
face. "Ray? What are you doing here?" There was no animosity in the voice,
but none of the welcome and warm friendship that had always been there
before. It was empty. As empty as Ray felt inside. /No. No Benny, please
no./ Ray thought almost desperately. "Please Benny," his voice was thick
with emotions that would not be kept away, "can we talk for a few
minutes?"
There was silence for a moment then the door cracked open an inch more;
now Ray could see his friend's nose and the dark shadows underneath his
eye, glaring in the dim light. "There's nothing to talk about, Ray."
The weary voice was like a sigh and the red rings under Ben's eye, faintly
visible even in the dim hallway lighting, tore at Ray's already battered
heart.	"But there is Benny." Ray didn't care that he was pleading in
a paper-thin hallway where anyone could hear. Embarrassment was a small
price to pay for Benny's sake. "About what I said in the cave, I..."
the glacier like eyes staring at him were not encouraging, "I'm sorry."
The icy blue eyes blinked as if not really understanding and Ray felt
his heart break as he repeated softly, "I'm sorry, Benny."	Ben
swallowed
twice before even attempting to speak, his reply dropping into the harsh
silence that surrounded the two men, "For what, Ray? Telling the truth?"
Ray felt his heart drop to the floor at the tone in Benton's voice. "Oh
no Benny. You can't... Oh God." Only now did Ray realize the full impact
of what he'd said. He worked so hard normally to keep Ben from feeling
unbearably lonely, to keep that emptiness from his eyes, and then in
the cave he'd slapped him in the face with all of it. The one thing he
knew Benny always fought to keep down, always fought to keep surpressed
for sheer survival, he'd dragged out into the harsh light of day where
Benny couldn't avoid it, where it couldn't help but hurt with every
breath,
with every move. Guilt flooded him, bringing stinging tears to his eyes,
"Benny..." He bit his trembling lower lip, hoping the physical pain would
keep the tears from falling. But he didn't move from the hallway and
something in his voice must have convinced Benton he wasn't going to
leave because Ben walked away from the door, leaving it to swing open.
Ray took the unspoken allowance and went into the apartment, closing
the door as an excuse to try and calm himself. But he wasn't prepared
when he turned around, wasn't ready for what he saw. Ray's breath sucked
in painfully, but he barely noticed as he took in the sight of his friend.
The left arm of the blue flannel hung empty and useless and in the better
light of the apartment he could see the arm strapped tightly to his chest
and the thick gauze bandages that trapped the strong hands. Before Ray's
head could stop him, the Italian was across the room, cradling Ben's
free hand in both of his. "You're hurt."	The words were little more
than breath but Ben flinched and pulled his hand away, "I'm fine."     
The
curtness of his words made Ray grimace and the sarcastic words left his
lips before he could stop them, "Oh yeah, you look fine."	Ben looked
vaguely confused and there was a note of pain in his emotionless voice
when he cocked his head, "What does it matter to you?"	This time it
was Ray who flinched at a soft voice, "It matters to me a lot!"        
"Oh?"
there was a soft undercurrent of surprise that made Ray feel something
equivalent to pond scum.	"Benny, please. You have to know I didn't
mean
it. I... I was scared." Ray was rambling but he couldn't seem to stop
himself. The words tumbled from his lips in a torrent. "I don't like
closed places and it was dark and all I could think about was how the
family would be alone with no one to take care of them. We were together;
I didn't have to worry about you but they depend on me... they need me."
Ben hadn't moved and Ray gulped in tears.	"Understood. Thank you
kindly
for coming and explaining." But Fraser's voice was still glacially polite
and Ray shivered as the words dropped into the room.	"Benny..." He
didn't
know what to say.
	"If you don't mind..." Ben gestured to the door. 
	Ray's anger bubbled up again, though he had no idea who it was
directed
at. "I do mind!" He planted his feet on the floor and faced his friend
with an expression caught between frustration and pain. His voice filled
with the tears he'd been so gallantly keeping back, "I know I hurt you
and I'm sorry. Can't you tell I'm sorry? I never wanted to hurt you.
Please."	"Ray." The word was soft and Ray felt the tears flood his
eyes
as he met a gentle blue stare. "I'm not angry with you. And I'm not angry
about anything you said. It was nothing I haven't said to myself a million
times." Ray's mouth opened to argue but Ben shook his head as if knowing
what his friend was going to say. "I WAS hurt at first. But it wasn't
your fault. I bear no grudges towards you Ray. Don't worry. You're still
my best friend. I'm just... tired."	Ray gulped back the tears and
tried
to smile at Ben but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was
still wrong. "Are you sure, Benny?"	"Yes, Ray." Ben said,
instinctively
stepping forward while rubbing his thumb against his eyebrow. "I'm su..."
But he never completed the sentence. Ray dashed forward as Ben's move
coursed pain through his body, making his knees buckle. "Benny!"
Supporting
the larger man's weight, Ray half-walked, half-carried his partner to
the bed. "It'll be okay, Benny." Ray rambled, jerking out his cell phone
after tucking a blanket around his friend. "I'll get a bus and we'll
get you back to the hospital in no time." He started to dial a number
but a hand on his stopped him.	"Don't, Ray." The voice was firm though
softer than usual. "I'll be fine. They warned me that things like this
might happen. I just need a few moments rest." But the blue eyes that
Ray loved so remained closed and his heart did not stop its rapid
thumping.
"Benny..." he wanted to insist but he felt like he'd somehow lost the
right. The peace between them was too fragile, too tenuous to bear any
strain. "All right then. You just get some rest, Benny. It'll be okay."
He didn't know whether his words were more for Ben or for himself but
they made them both feel better. Ben's stopped fighting the sleepiness
that was upon him and Ray saw his body visibly relax as he fell asleep.

	"Mmm." Ben murmured as he tried to shift aching limbs to something
more
comfortable. But his pillow was hard... no it was flesh! Memory came
flooding back. Ray! Ray was holding him, Ben's head pillowed on Ray's
arm. Benton felt heat rush through him and for a fleeting moment he wished
it could stay that way forever. But his soft noise had woken Ray who'd
been catnapping in the early afternoon warmth.	"Benny? You're awake?"
Ray's eyes had snapped open at the sound and he watched the figure in
his arms carefully.	"Yes Ray." Ben's voice was husky with sleep and
it sent shivers down Ray's spine.	"How do you feel?" He couldn't
keep
the worry from his voice or the caring. 	"Fine. I'm fine." But the
grimace
on his face when he sat gingerly up proved him wrong.	"Let me help you."
Ray said instantly, moving to help him sit up.	"Thank you." Ben said
when he was finally sitting up at the edge of the bed.	"Why didn't you
tell me you were hurt?" Ray's voice was very soft, not accusing in the
least just gently asking.	"It's not serious Ray."
	Ray didn't let him go on. "Why didn't you tell me?"
	"You had to get out of the cave. If you had stopped to worry about
me,
you wouldn't have."	Ray went from mildly annoyed to full burn in the
space of his sentence. "Damn it Benny! I want to worry about you! I love
you!" It took a moment of sheer silence before Ray realized what he'd
said. Ben was staring at him with open mouth. "Oh God. Oh God Benny.
Let me explain. I couldn't help it. It's all right. I don't expect
anything
from you. I won't make any passes on you I promise. Please. Just say
you'll still be my friend. Please." He was begging. He didn't care. The
only thing that mattered was making Ben understand.	But Ben was still
staring at him, paler than snow, not moving. "Benny?!" Ray's voice was
turning hysterical. But Ben still didn't move, he just sat there, staring
silently. Ray felt his heart crash. "I'm sorry Benny. I..." His friend
still wasn't moving. "I'll go now." His voice was less than a whisper
but it echoed disconsolatly throughout the room. Ray plodded toward the
door, wondering if his friend would ever forgive him, if things could
ever be the same again. If his friend would ever speak to him again.
Ben couldn't seem to get his mind to work. He vaugly heard Ray apologizing
but he couldn't figure out for what. It was like his brain had frozen
after the words 'I love you' left Ray's lips. The first and last person
to say those words to him had been Victoria and that had ended in
disaster.
But suddenly his frozen brain jumpstarted when the figure left the bed.
/He's leaving!!/ Every system in Benton's body went into full panic mode
and he sprang to his feet far too fast, "Ray! Ray!"	The room was
spinning
on him but he didn't care. That didn't matter. The only thing that
mattered
was getting Ray back. Making him come back and... and... his brain
couldn't
get past that. All that mattered was that Ray not leave. "Don't... Don't
go!" He stumbled out of the bedroom, jerking towards his front door.
"Please!"	Ray told himself the first time he heard his name that it
was his imagination. But when he heard Benny's voice desperatly calling
him once more, begging him not to go, he stopped frozen in his tracks,
afraid to believe. "Benny? Don't get up..." he turned to try and stop
his friend from getting up but he could see as soon as he turned around
that it was too late. Ben was clutching the table to keep steady and
Ray just barely kept himself from running to the man he loved. "Benny,
you should stay in bed and rest..." Tears were threatening to choke off
his voice completely.	"Don't go." The desperation in Ben's voice was
near hysteria. "Please, please don't go." He was swaying dangerously
now, the torrent of emotions surging through him nuetralizing the benefits
of the short sleep.	/He still wants to be friends!/ Ray rejoiced as
he ran to his friend's side. "Okay, Benny. No problem. I won't go
anywhere.
I promise." Show him how much this means to you Raymond! He slid his
arm around his friend and shifted him so that he could help his friend
get around. "I'll stay for a while. What are friend's for?"	"No." Ben
shook his head wearily. Blue eyes turned towards suddenly frightened
green ones. "Not for a while." Ray gulped and his arm started to tremble
under Ben until Ben's hand squeezed his shoulder. "Stay forever."      
"What?"
This time it was Ray who couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Benny?
What... I thought..."	Crystalline blue eyes glistened with tears of
uncertainty and hope, "You surprised me, Ray. I never thought you could
love me. Not like that. I'd gotten used to thinking of my love as
hopeless."
Ray stopped the oncoming babbling monologue, "Your... love?"
	The blue eyes dropped. "Yes." Ben's voice was very small. "I have
been
in love with you for so very long." There was a catch of uncertainty
in his voice that was just barely disguised.	But Ray had known Benny
far too long for him to hide things like that. "Oh God Benny, I love
you." He turned, pulling the Canadian to him in the same motion. "I love
you, I love you, I love you." A set of soft warm lips on his turned his
words into a gasp of pleasure as coherant thought fled. As he devoured
those wonderfully skilled lips, Ray clutched the Mountie, his Mountie,
tighter to him. A moan of pain brought him up short. "Benny?! What's
wrong?!"	Ben tried to smile at him. "I'm afraid I'm not quite up
to..."
His free hand gestured about and Ray caught sight of the glaring white
bandages around his friend's hand and remembered what had brought them
here.	"I hurt you." His voice was flat. The realization was like dumping
a bucket of ice water on the passion that had flared moments before.
"No." Ben's voice was firm. "The cave hurt me. It was NOT your fault."
Blue eyes locked with green until the blue ones were satisfied with what
they saw. "You just gave me everything. Everything."	"Oh Benny." Ray
sighed, unable to resist the temptation to press his lips to his love's
once more. He kept his hands carefully away and this time there was no
bone-chilling moan. "Benny, Benny, Benny."	It was a few blissful
moments
before Ben slowly pulled back, panting. Slowly he leaned his forehead
against Ray's. "Ray, we'd better not continue. I'm in no shape to finish
anything."	Ben's soft words reminded Ray of his partner's injuries
and
he suddenly looked down in concern. "Ben, where were you hurt?"        
"I'm
not seriously injured Ray." Ben evaded skillfully.
	But not skillfully enough for the Italian who'd long been dealing
with
the recalitrant Mountie. "I didn't ask you how bad it was. I asked you
where you were hurt. As in location of and nature of injuries. And in
English please."	"Maybe if we sit first then..." Ben blushed at the
slight admission of weakness but the tender concern in the green eyes
on him thrilled his stunned heart.	Ray's hands were gentle as he
guided
Ben to one of the chairs and they sat next to each other, Ray grabbing
onto Ben's bandaged hand and holding it loosely in his two hands,
unwilling
to let go. "You were hurt back in the tunnel weren't you? I heard
something..."
"A piece of the cave fell while we were climbing through." Ben said
simply.
"Jill said you'd bruised your shoulder and cracked a rib." Ray was trying
hard to keep his calm but it was getting more difficult. Ben rarely hedged
without reason. 	"Umm not exactly." Ray's brow furrowed and Ben
knew
he wasn't going to be able to get away with not telling him. "My shoulder
was dislocated. And a few ribs were broken." The pale face before him
disconcerted him. "Ray it's all right. I'll be fine. Truly."	The
intense
blue eyes imploring him to believe him were almost too much for Ray and
he dropped his eyes to his lap to compose himself. But his eyes fell
on their hands, still held together between the two of them and the
bandage
assualted his senses. "And this?" He held up their hands.	Ben stared
at the bandaged hand held so carefully in the Italian's grip but he said
nothing and after a moment, remembered snatches of converstation floated
into Ray's mind. /"It's going to be all right Ray. I'm working on
enlarging
the hole around the air duct." "What the hell are you dripping on me?"
"It's probably just some of the moisture on my hands from the cave walls."
"I've made a hole large enough for us to get through." "You're hurt!
There's blood on your arm!" "How in the hell did they get out of there?"
"The red guy said something about digging around an air duct." "Not
possible...
This rock is worse than sandpaper. You ain't gonna convince me that they
dug their way out." "Yeah but did you see..."/	Finally, Ray's mind filled
in the words he'd missed before. /His hands. Dammit they were talking
about his hands./ "You did that getting us out didn't you Caro?" Ben's
eyes turned midnight blue at the endearment and his throat closed so
that he couldn't speak. But Ray didn't need an answer. He already knew
it. "The rock... they said it was like sandpaper... and the blood on
my jacket... it was from your hands..." 	Finally Ben made his voice
worked.
"I'm sorry about your jac..." Ray stopped the apology with a kiss, lunging
forward and catching the words in his mouth. The kiss was sweet and tender
and hot and when the two men pulled apart both were breathing hard. Ray
leaned his forhead against his love's, like Ben had earlier. "I love
you. I love you with all my heart. You are my heart. But next time, you
let me help. You're not alone anymore. You'll never be alone again."
Ben smiled and nodded, his eyes smoky with passion. "I love you, Ray.
I will always love you."	Ray's breaht caught in wonder and he dared
another quick kiss. "You'll never get rid of my now, Benny. I'm Italian.
When we love, it's forever. And I never give up those I love without
a fight."	Ben moved his head slightly so that it rested on Ray's
shoulder
with a soft contented sigh. "I wouldn't have it any other way."