Just Ray   Just Ray 

Ben saw the Riv parked outside his apartment building and unconsciously
began to walk a little faster, much to Dief's disgust. He'd seen Ray over
the last few days, but they hadn't really had a chance to talk much, and
Ray had seemed a little distracted. He hoped Ray would be able to stay for
a while.  

When he opened the door to the apartment he saw Ray standing in front of
the kitchen window, staring down into the side street. Ray didn't turn,
even when Dief trotted over and sniffed his legs in greeting. Ben prided
himself on being an observant man, that ability had saved his life several
times and helped to solve many cases. He put it to use now.  

He observed how Ray was standing, the precise angle of his head, tilted
slightly to one side, the hint of tension in the thin shoulders. He was
dressed quite austerely today, dark gray pants and a loose, lightweight
brown-gray sweater which clung softly to his slender back. He looked good,
but it wasn't in his usual colourful style. He was leaning forward a
little, his left hand against the window frame, just above head height.
His hand, with its narrow palm and long thin fingers, seemed relaxed
enough. Perhaps it was just his stance, and the way his right hand was
pushed into his trouser pocket that was causing the tension in his
shoulders. Ben noted absently how that right hand had pulled the cloth
rather firmly across his slim buttocks. None of it was much help. He still
had no idea what was wrong, he wasn't even sure if anything was wrong. It
was just not like Ray to be so, well, quiet...	

It had only taken a moment for Ben to observe all this. He went over to
the window and stopped just behind Ray, looking over his shoulder to the
street below, in case there was anything important going on down there.
There wasn't.  

"Hi Benny." Ray's voice was quiet, calm.  

"Hello, Ray."  

When Ray didn't speak again, Ben accepted it. He hadn't sounded upset or
angry, so Ben stayed there, waiting, so close that he could feel the
warmth of Ray's body. With each breath he inhaled the slightly spicy scent
of Ray's aftershave and, once he had accustomed himself to that, he could
smell the underlying body scent that was just Ray.  *  

Ray could feel the warmth of Ben's body, the faint brush of his breath on
the back of his neck, but he was in no hurry to say anything. For several
days now, something had been telling him to slow down, to be quiet and
listen. He didn't know what was happening, but he was content to go with
that.  

It had been a strange experience. Growing up in the Vecchio household
hadn't given him much experience with solitude and introspection. Maybe it
was Benny's influence on him. Benny seemed to see him in a different way
than anyone else, and he knew it had changed the way he thought about
himself. To his vociferous family he was always Ray the brother, Raimondo
the son, or Uncle Ray to the kids. His colleagues at the precinct saw him
as Vecchio, the slightly, or not so slightly, irritating cop with the
weird Mountie friend. But with Benny he was just Ray.  

After a while Ray let his hand drop and turned. He was face to face with
Ben, looking into concerned blue eyes. He scanned his friend's face,
taking in the handsome, regular features that he knew so well. He smiled
faintly at Ben, telling him he was OK. Ben's lip's relaxed into an even
fainter answering smile, dimpling very slightly at the corners, but the
concern was still there in his eyes.  

It was then that he knew what his subconscious mind had been trying to
tell him. He almost laughed aloud, how could he have been such a fool? How
could he not have seen what had been happening to him? He wondered how
long ago it had started... but there was no specific moment that he could
pinpoint, maybe it was even as far back as the first time they'd met. He
wondered suddenly what Benny was going to think of this, but somehow he
couldn't really be worried about it. That strange calmness he had been
experiencing still gripped him.  

Returning his attention to Ben's face, Ray realised something else. Benny
knew. Perhaps he'd always known, had just been waiting for Ray to find
out. It didn't matter. What mattered was right here, right now. The two of
them.  

It was such a small movement to touch his lips against Benny's. His
fingers cupped those perfect cheeks. Hands, feather light on his hips,
steadied him. All time and space compressed into that one perfect moment.