Standard disclaimers: I don't own these characters. More's the pity. I
only borrowed them for a little while for my own amusement. No money
changed hands...also a pity. 

Story summary: RayK and Fraser finish working a tough case and they both
need a little down time. Ray and Fraser take a little trip. (Did I mention
I suck at this summary stuff....like you couldn't tell?) 

Background: This story started out as a random thought brought on by a
response to my first story. Something along the lines of how lucky Ray was
to have a friend like Fraser. But I got to thinking....a dangerous pursuit
at best...that Fraser was just as lucky to have Ray for a friend. And this
story sort of ....well, grew out of that thought. I would appreciate
feedback...suggestions for improvement, where you think I went wrong, what
you liked, or didn't like as the case may be. Katherine_Lehman@blm.gov 

Thank You: to Chysothemis....for excellent critique of the first half of
this story. My own impatience got the better of me...and I posted this
before she had a chance finish beta checking, so any, and all mistakes in
this are mine.	Light in the Darkness  

Constable Benton Fraser watched as his partner, Ray Vecchio, AKA Ray
Kowalski, quietly massaged his temples for the fifth time in as many
minutes. Ray had mentioned earlier having a headache, but his whole
appearance spoke of something more serious. Something not easily handled
with a few aspirin 

Ray's blood-shot blue eyes and the dark circles under them were signs of
more than one night of too little sleep. The lines of frustration and
despair that had marred his features for the past week were now replaced
by those of exhausted resignation. His shoulders slumped in defeat. Ray
was totally lacking in his usual energy. 

 Fraser felt as bad as Ray looked. His couldn't seem to keep his shoulders
from slumping, mirroring Ray's defeated stance. It was annoying to find
that he was too tired to maintain his usually upright posture. His eyes
felt gritty, and dry, like he hadn't closed them in days. He had heard his
grandmother use the term soul weary and for the first time in his life,
Fraser knew exactly what she'd meant. 

Their recent case had been brutal. Homicides were always difficult for
Ray. And when they involved the sadistic murder of a child, well, they
weren't any easier for Fraser. Detailed investigation had linked the
victim, a girl of twelve, to three other homicides that had occurred over
a period of several weeks. Each girl had been sexually assaulted
repeatedly before being strangled, and the bodies dumped in an alley.  

Long hours, extra shifts, and repeated visits to the crime scenes had
given them very little. Despite the lack of any concrete evidence, both
Ray and Fraser had hoped to catch the killer before another child died.
The discovery of a fifth victim had been devastating to both of them.
Having finally caught the monster tonight was of little consolation when
there was another small body lying in the morgue.  

The whole case left him longing for the quiet snow covered mountains of
his home. A place where monsters didn't stalk little girls in the light of
day, and vultures masquerading as the media, didn't feed on their remains.
Home. Where he was sure of the innate good in people, that right and
justice would triumph in the end, and when they did he wouldn't be left
feeling like he failed. Right at the moment he'd settle for being able to
go back to the consulate and sleep what remained of the night away. 

Fraser sighed quietly. Ray looked up, making eye contact. He gave a small,
sad half-smile. "Yeah, I know Benton buddy. Me too." 

 Fraser was certain that Ray knew exactly what he'd been thinking. He was
equally certain that Ray had been thinking something similar. Ray had
always been very good at reading him, so Fraser wasn't entirely surprised
when Ray's eyes narrowed and he seemed to be regarding Fraser suddenly
with the intensity of a spot light.  

Ray cocked his head slightly, before asking softly, "You okay?" 

Fraser was about to answer when Ray held up a hand halting what he'd been
about to say. "Don't answer that. Stupid question. Yer about as okay as I
am. I may be damaged, Fraser, but even I know neither of us is exactly
okay at the moment." Ray sighed, closed his eyes and began massaging his
temples again.	

"Is your headache getting worse, Ray?" 

"Nothing a few good nights sleep and a full bottle of aspirin can't cure.
Maybe a vacation....a long vacation."  

"Ray?" 

For once the blonde detective answered at the first call of his name.
"Yeah, Frase?" 

"Are we going to be leaving soon?" Fraser was proud that his voice was
perfectly normal. It simply wouldn't do for a Mountie to sound as though
he was whining.  

"Just as soon as the press clears out. Always a couple of them hang around
after the rest leave. Always some eager, Springer wannabe that wants more
than the official statement. Don't wanna deal with that tonight. " Ray
sighed. " And I was waitin' for Gail in records to call. I need ta know
all the paperwork got where it's supposed to be. I don't wanna think about
this case once I leave. Want it dotted, filed, in a box marked done." 

"Understood." 

At that moment the phone on Ray's desk rang. Even though all Fraser could
hear was Ray's side of the conversation, it was clear that everything had
been put in it's proper place. As soon as Ray hung up he grabbed his
jacket and motioned Fraser in the direction of the door. 

"Pitter patter let's get at 'er, Fraser." 

Neither of them moved with their customary speed, much to the disgust of
Diefenbaker. Dief ran ahead to wait impatiently beside Ray's GTO. Fraser
found himself thinking of just how dark the nearly empty parking lot was.
Thinking of how easy it had been for five little girls to be abducted. How
they had likely been abused in this same kind of empty darkness, where no
one could see their fear, or know of their pain. It was depressing. 

Ray unlocked the passenger door for him before heading around the car.
Fraser had pushed the seat forward to let Dief take up his customary seat
in the back. To his surprise Ray didn't immediately get in the car.
Instead the slender blonde rested against the car, his head tilted back,
eyes closed, breathing deeply.	

"Are you all right, Ray?"  

"Yeah. Just trying to...what do ya call it?...purge my thoughts. Leave the
crap behind. Ever since I started this gig....bein' a cop I mean, not just
the Vecchio thing...I've tried not to bring the job home with me. Can't
help it when I'm workin' a case. But once its done, I try not to drag all
that baggage around with me. Gets heavy after awhile."	

Ray breathed deeply again and let it out slowly. He opened his eyes and
smiled ruefully at Fraser. " If I can ditch this shit here, then maybe,
just maybe, I can sleep without havin' nightmares."  

"Do you often have nightmares?" 

"No. And I wanna keep it that way." Ray opened the door and settled
himself into the driver seat effectively ending the conversation. The trip
to the consulate was made silence. 

Ray pulled up in front of the consulate, essentially parking illegally.
Fraser made to open the door but was halted by Ray's hand on his arm.  

When Ray didn't say anything for several minutes Fraser decided to prompt
him. "Ray?" 

"You think you could get the Ice Queen to give you the next couple of days
off?" 

Fraser decided to overlook Ray's reference to his superior, Inspector
Thatcher, and answered the question. "I have a number of personal days
that I could request. Why?" 

Ray shrugged, and looked away, embarrassed. He gestured vaguely with his
hands when he began speaking. "I was goin' ta ask Welsh for a few days. We
put in a lot of overtime with this case, so I'm pretty sure he won't say
no. Was thinking about....gettin' out of Chicago for a few days. Change of
scenery and all that. I know you're probably better able to handle this
stuff than me. Hell, your better at everything than me. Gonna take more
than a few deep breaths in a parking lot for me to totally ditch
this...an' I thought you might need ta get away for a while too....I mean
if you're not busy or got somethin' pressing here that the Ice Queen needs
done, although I can't imagine what she might consider pressing 'sides
picking up her dry cleaning--"	

"Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray!!?" 

"What?" 

"You're babbling." 

"Oh, right. Sorry." Ray ducked his head briefly. 

"Its okay I think getting away from Chicago for a few days is an excellent
idea." 

"You do?" Ray's head came up and he looked at Fraser with surprise. 

"Yes. I do. I shall submit my request for use of a few personal days
tomorrow. Inspector Thatcher has already warned me about accruing too
many, so I don't image she will have any objections." 

Ray responded with a bright smile so warm that Fraser felt for a brief
moment liked he'd stepped into a sunbeam. 

"Great. That is just greatness, Fraser. I'll swing by and get you and Dief
around noon. That work for you?" 

"Noon should be fine." Fraser was pleasantly surprised that Ray planned to
include Dief. He was out of the car, Dief at his side, before he thought
to ask where they would be going.  

"Place I haven't been to in a long time." Ray's voice sounded almost
wistful. " Don't worry, Fraser. You'll like it. I think even Dief will
like it." 

**************************************************************************
******	

At precisely 11:55 am the next day, Fraser heard Turnbull greet Ray with
his customary "Welcome to Canada, Detective Vecchio." Turnbull had taken
to greeting Ray that way ever since the Volpe case when Ray had sought
refuge in the Consulate. Depending on his mood, Ray would sometimes pause
to tease Turnbull. Fraser decided his mood must be very good because Ray
spent several minutes with him in the foyer.  

Fraser was distracted from their conversation by a vocalization from
Diefenbaker. "Yes, Ray is here." Dief made an inquiring noise. "No, I
don't know where we are going. You're just going to have to be patient."
Another vocalization that Fraser decided is was best not to respond to.
Honestly, some days the wolf could be so childish. 

Fraser turned toward his office door when a soft tap indicated Ray was
standing in the doorway. He was dressed in his characteristic jeans,
t-shirt and leather jacket. Fraser noticed immediately that Ray looked
much better than he had the previous night. He'd obviously gotten some
real sleep. Fraser was grateful that at least one of them had. His own
night had been far from restful.  

Every time he closed his eyes last night all he could see was the face of
the last victim . Jennifer Merrick. Her short brown hair, brown eyes,
slight overbite, her nose turned up a little at the end. She had haunted
him. They had devoted every single day for close to a month to capturing
the killer. He should have been in jail before she ever had the misfortune
to cross his path. Judging by the concerned look on Ray's face, Fraser
decided that he probably didn't look much better than he had last night.  

"You okay?" 

Fraser nodded. "I just didn't sleep very well last night." 

 Ray's noncommittal "Hmmm." made Fraser aware of just why Ray found that
particular sound so annoying when he did it. Fraser chose to ignore it,
deciding his annoyance was merely the result of being tired that made him
react in an uncharacteristic fashion. He elected to change the topic of
conversation. 

"Since you didn't tell me where we are going, I wasn't sure what to pack."
It felt odd to pack only civilian attire since Fraser rarely went anywhere
without his uniform. He was hoping Ray would give him some indication
today of where they were headed so he could be sure he was adequately
prepared. 

Ray chuckled. "Bein' a Boy Scout and all, I am sure you'll be prepared for
anythin'. Don't sweat it. Just grab yer stuff and let's hit the road."	

Fraser shouldered his pack and followed Ray to the car. Ray opened the
trunk for Fraser to stow his pack next to Ray's own duffle bag. Judging by
the size of it, Ray hadn't packed much. No clue there as to the ultimate
destination.  

"Are we going to eat lunch before we leave, Ray?" 

"I already ate, Frase. But I did bring something for you. Even got
somethin' for Dief." 

"Nothing with chocolate, I hope." 

"Nah. Ya said chocolate is bad for him."  

Fraser found that Ray had gotten his favorite sandwich from the local deli
he favored, and a rawhide bone for Dief. Dief was chewing enthusiastically
on it before Ray had even pulled away from the curb. Given the almost
sacred regard Ray had for the GTO, Fraser was surprised that Ray would
allow either himself or Dief to eat within its confines. Between Ray and
his father's devotion the car was practically all original parts, except
for maybe the up-graded sound system that Ray had insisted on. 

They pulled on to interstate 90 and headed North. Ray had put a jazz CD on
and was tapping his thumbs in rhythm to the music. Fraser found himself
relaxing, enjoying the music, the drive and Ray's company. For some
reason, his volatile, frantically energetic friend always made him feel
calm. Like all was right with the world. Like there was nothing the two of
them couldn't handle as long as they were together. Fraser felt himself
beginning to doze and shook himself. 

"You can nap if ya wanna, Frase. It'll be a couple of hours till we get
there."  

"Where exactly is 'there', Ray?" 

Ray gave him a sly look from the corner of his eye, smiled, and hummed
along with the music. Fraser sighed. He should have realized that when Ray
didn't tell him last night, he simply wasn't going to.	

Given how poorly he'd slept, Fraser decided that a nap might not be a bad
idea after all. Between the steady hum of tires on the pavement, the
music, and Ray's presence, Fraser felt himself drifting again. He couldn't
have stayed awake even if he had wanted to. 

Fraser slowly awoke later, conscious that the car was no longer moving,
and that Ray had just shut the door. He stretched slowly, opening his eyes
to look over at Ray. Ray was smirking back at him. 

"So sleeping beauty awakes." 

Fraser yawned, raising a hand to cover his mouth as he did so. "Excuse me.
How long was I asleep?" 

"Bout four hours." 

"Four hours? Have you been driving all that time?" 

Ray shrugged. "No big deal. 'Sides we're here. Or almost. Just had to get
the key to the cabin. We'll actually be there in another ten minutes or
so." 

Fraser glanced out the window, realizing for the first time they were
parked in front of what appeared to be someone's home. Or it could have
been considered a private residence if not for the sign that read, Castle
Lake Cabins Special Weekly Rates. The entire area was surrounded by trees.
Fraser blinked. Trees? There were no other buildings in sight.	

"Ray...Where are we?" 

"Castle Lake, Wisconsin." Ray continued speak as he turned the GTO , and
headed slowly down a gravel road that Fraser hadn't noticed. "I haven't
been here since" a small pause as Ray apparently thought about that.
"Guess the last time I was here was right after I decided to quit college.
" Ray shook his head. "Wow. Damn near a lifetime ago. Place doesn't seem
to have changed much."	

Fraser was surprised by the mixture of relief and awe he heard in that
statement. Ray had always given him the impression that he was a city-boy,
born and bred. When Ray mentioned wanting to leave the city for a few
days, this was definitely not what Fraser expected. 

"I thought you said leaving the city made you break out in a skin
condition."  

Ray laughed out loud. "Fergot I'd actually said that." He sighed softly.
"This place is different. Me and it have some history together. And it's
got all the comforts of home. Electricity, indoor plumbing, well stocked
cupboards, even a maid ta clean the room if you want. " 

Small wooden signs placed along the road indicated how to access various
cabins. Ray turned right at the one indicating cabin number four. He
parked the GTO beside a small, rustic cabin.  

"Each cabin is like a quarter mile apart. Far enough you don't have ta
meet the neighbors if ya don't wanna. Wouldn't call it wilderness, but
it's a lot closer to it than the park." 

Fraser had to agree that this setting was definitely a close approximation
to wilderness than the city park he'd camped in on occasion. Getting out
of the car, he breathed deeply. The air was crisp, clean. Like home. In
the distance Fraser was certain he'd heard the call of a loon. Fraser
loved that sound. 

Diefenbaker whined. He too wanted out. Before letting the wolf from the
confines of the car, Fraser ordered him to stay close. Dief bounded into
the woods with a joyous yip.  

"See? Told ya even Dief would like this place."  

"So you did, Ray. So you did." Fraser couldn't get over the beautiful
vista before him. To the east he could easily make out the edge of a lake
he assumed to be Castle Lake. Even with his keen hearing he couldn't make
out the sounds of other people.  

Ray had retrieved their bags from the trunk. He casually tossed Fraser his
pack before heading up the steps of the cabin to the deck. Fraser followed
slowly. He was still having trouble reconciling the current setting with
the Ray he knew. 

"Ray?" 

"Yeah, Fraser?" Ray had just put a key in the door. 

"You said you had a history with this place?" 

 Ray nodded, pushing open the door. He smiled and winked at Fraser. "An'
if you ask me nice, I just might tell you the story." With that Ray
entered the cabin. 

The interior of the cabin was laid out simply, with the main room a
combination of kitchen, dining room, and living room. The west wall was
dominated by a large stone fireplace, which Fraser noted with approval was
designed to burn wood, not one of those "fake" fires that burned gas. An
open door lead to the bathroom. As Ray had indicated, it did indeed have
indoor plumbing. The was only one other room, and Fraser assumed it was a
bedroom. So while not luxurious, Fraser couldn't really think of the cabin
as roughing it. Apparently neither did Ray. 

Ray walked into the bedroom. He tossed his duffle bag lightly on to one of
the quilt covered twin beds. He then went back to the kitchen area, opened
the small refrigerator and removed a beer. He opened it, taking a small
sip with a sigh of satisfaction. 

"Stow your stuff in the bedroom. No sleepin' on the floor here. Thank god.
" Following Ray's example, Fraser left his pack lying on one of the beds,
before following Ray back outside. Ray promptly sat down in one of the
deck chairs, propping his feet up on the railing, and took another sip of
his beer. He closed his eyes, and tilted his face up to catch the late
afternoon sunshine. 

Fraser sat in the deck chair adjacent to Ray's. He closed his eyes,
breathing in the scents of the forest surrounding them. He could almost
imagine that he was back in Canada. This was just the thing he needed to
sooth his troubled spirit. Fraser wondered if Ray had read something in
him that spoke of his need to escape the darkness of Chicago. Ray was very
perceptive. He could have picked up on Fraser's need before Fraser himself
was even aware of it. Fraser was suddenly intensely grateful that his
friend could read him so well.	

"Ray. Ray. Ray. Ray?" 

"Yeah?" Ray took long drink from his beer, before tilting his face into
the sun again. 

"When you mentioned getting away from the Chicago for I few days...I
confess this isn't exactly the type of place I envisioned. Not that there
is anything wrong with it. On the contrary, it is perfect in fact. It
doesn't really seem to be the sort of place you would choose. " 

"I know. Kinda surprised me to. But after this last case....I just didn't
wanna be around too many people, you know? I mean that guy looked like any
other schmuck of the street. Couldn't tell just by looking at him that
he'd be the kind of guy who'd get off on hurtin' little girls. Kinda
scares ya to think that monsters like that are lurkin' all over Chicago. I
guess...I just wanted to go somewhere that didn't seem ...I don't
know...so damn dark. Somewhere that you could actually believe there were
good people."  

Ray chuckled suddenly. He turned to look at Fraser, his pale blue eyes
meeting and holding Fraser's darker counterparts. "Thinking of good
people...well to be honest, Fraser you are about the only really good
person I know. Kinda made me think about where you come from. Like maybe
there is somethin' in the air...maybe aliens landed." Ray waved a hand in
a expansive gesture toward the sky. "For some reason that got me to
thinkin' about this place. Haven't been here in over a decade and all of a
sudden I just want ta come see if it's the same as I remember."  

Ray took another sip from his beer, and shrugged. "Besides, I figured
you'd like it. I mean its not some igloo perched on an ice floe in the
middle of some glacier, but if that's where you want ta spend the next
three days....then Benton buddy you are definitely on your own." 

Fraser smiled. "Understood." 

Ray finished his beer and place the bottle on the deck. He slouched
further into the chair, yawning widely. Despite the fact that he looked
better this morning than he had the previous night, Fraser could see signs
of lingering exhaustion. Ray was still moving with less than his usual
energy. It would take more than one night of sleep to compensate for the
past month. Fraser felt selfish for sleeping the for the entire journey.
He should have stayed awake and kept Ray company.  

"I'm sorry, Ray." 

"Unh...Sorry? Fer what?" 

"I should not have dozed off in the car." 

"Okay. Whatever." Ray's tone clearly indicated he was simply indulging
Fraser. 

"I am serious, Ray. You've put as much time into this case as I have.
Maybe even more. You're still tired. I should have at least kept you
company, or offered to drive." 

Ray's eyes sparkled with good humor. "Wouldn't have let you drive. Took
five hours as it was, an' the way you drive we'd never have gotten here."
Ray snorted. "You'd have gone the posted limit the whole way. That would
have taken way, way too long. Sides, you didn't even know where we were
going. "  

"You could have told me." Fraser pointed out reasonably. 

Ray shrugged. "Woulda ruined the surprise." 

Just then Dief bounded up the stairs. He pounced on Ray and began
enthusiastically licking Ray's face. Ray tolerated this attention for a
minute before softly grabbing the wolf's muzzle. 

"Yer welcome, Dief. Glad it meets with your approval. Now Get. Off. Me."
The wolf complied, his body all but vibrating with excitement. Fraser put
his head in his hands muttering "a disgrace to your breed."  

Ray stood up raised his arms overhead and stretched to his full height.
Several vertebrae announced their presence by popping loudly. Fraser
winced, but Ray seemed unaffected. He then bent from the waist, legs
straight, letting his fingertips brush against the deck. Picking up the
empty beer bottle as he straightened upright.  

"If it'll make you feel better, Frase, you can make dinner." 

"Certainly, Ray. I believe you mentioned something about the cupboards
being well stocked?" 

"Yeah." Ray turned, heading back inside, with Dief on his heels. "When I
made the reservations, I asked 'em to stock up on stuff. All part of the
service. " 

Fraser checked the cupboards and the refrigerator noting that they were
stocked with a surprising amount of healthy fare. They also contained
several of Ray's favorite junk foods. He smiled realizing that Ray must
have specified what he wanted when making the reservations. Fraser was
touched that Ray had obviously considered Fraser's preferences in addition
to his own.  

"What would you like for dinner, Ray?" 

"Whatever you feel like making."  

Ray came out of the bedroom with several CD's in his hands. Fraser hadn't
noticed the stereo in the corner, but Ray must have know about it. He
loaded three CD's and set the volume at a low level. Something
instrumental that Fraser didn't recognize softly filled the room. Ray
danced his way into the kitchen area, retrieved another beer, before
dancing his way over to the couch. Fraser envied his graceful way of
moving, effortlessly in rhythm with the music. Despite his natural grace
and coordination, even knowing how to play the piano, Fraser had never
mastered dancing.  

"How does spaghetti sound?" 

"Cool. Long as you don't cook it in the fireplace."  

Fraser chuckled remembering Ray's reaction to his efforts to prove that
everything, even spaghetti, was better when cooked over an open fire.
Fraser had been forced to admit he may have been wrong about that.  

Ray suggested a game of chess after dinner. The coffee table had a
chessboard pattern on top, and pieces were stored in the drawer. Fraser
won the first game. Ray won the second. Setting up the board for a third
game, Fraser noticed when Ray shivered. 

"Are you cold, Ray? I could light a fire." 

"Nah. I'm good." Another shiver betrayed that lie. Fraser regarded Ray
steadily. "Okay. Okay. You can light a fire if you wanna."  

While Fraser busied himself with checking the flue, placing the wood, and
lighting the fire. Ray wondered into the kitchen. He came back minutes
later carrying two mugs. Ray sipped at a cup of hot chocolate topped with
whip cream, and handed Fraser the other mug. Fraser sipped at it, amazed
to discover it was bark tea. Knowing Ray requested it be stocked just for
him warmed Fraser more than the tea itself. 

"Thank you kindly, Ray." 

"Any time, Frase." 

Ray yawned several times during the course of the third game. Fraser
watched with inner amusement as Ray tried unsuccessfully to keep his eyes
open. Despite his half-closed eyes, barely awake appearance, Ray managed
to win the game.  

"Ray, maybe we should turn in?" 

Ray looked down at his watch and grimaced. "I can not believe that it's
not even eight thirty. " 

"It has been a rough couple of weeks, Ray." 

"That it has, Fraser. That it has. You wanna use the bathroom first." 

"No. You go ahead. I'll clean up here." 

Fraser put the chess pieces away, and carried the mugs back to the
kitchen. He decided to do the dishes he had left to soak after dinner. He
was finished by the time Ray exited the bathroom. He took his turn
preparing for bed and then joined Ray in the bedroom. Dief had chosen to
sleep on the rug in front of the fireplace. 

"Fraser, I am like gonna sleep til noon. If you get up at oh dark thirty,
do me a favor and be quiet." 

"Of course, Ray." 

He heard Ray roll over, snuggle into the blankets and sigh, finding a
comfortable position. "Last time I was here I seem to remember their bein'
horses ta ride if you wanted. Some trail stuff or whatever. Thought you
bein' a Mountie you might wanna do that. Ya kin..." there was a pause as
Ray yawned ," ask at the office. Where I stopped...ta pick up...the key." 


"I'll look into it tomorrow." Fraser was delighted with the prospect that
he might be able to go riding. It felt like forever since he'd been on a
horse. Despite Ray's statement that he had a history with this place,
Fraser was beginning to wonder if Ray hadn't chosen it specifically for
him. It seemed to be offering everything Fraser needed to help put their
last case behind him.  

Ray had indicated earlier that he would tell him the story behind his
relationship with this place if Fraser asked nicely. But that would have
to wait until tomorrow. Fraser could hear Ray's gentle snores and knew it
wouldn't be long before he too fell asleep. 

**************************************************************************
*** 

The next morning Fraser had awoken at his usual time, feeling well rested
for the first in a month. He could barely make out Ray in the other bed,
only his blonde hair and the vaguely Ray sized lump in the bed gave any
clue that he was there. As Ray requested, Fraser got dressed quietly. He
left a note on the table telling Ray he was going to the office to see if
a mount was available. He was taking Diefenbaker and should be back in
time for lunch.  

The manager at the office had inquired about his riding experience before
assigning him a mount. When Fraser mentioned being a Mountie with the
RCMP, she decided on a young bay gelding she called Samson. Fraser was
delighted with him. Samson would have made a good mount for the RCMP. He
took direction willingly, and seemed as eager to explore the trails around
the lake as Fraser was. Dief ran ahead of them, darting off into the trees
whenever something caught his attention. Fraser wished Ray was with him.
Maybe tomorrow if his partner was willing. 

A quick glance at the sun and Fraser urged Samson into a canter. He had
lost track of time reveling in how good it felt to be on a horse again.
The effortless play of muscle moving as he directed, feeling the almost
immediate response to his commands, the feeling of being one with such a
powerful animal was heady. Fraser couldn't believe he'd ever forgotten how
good it felt to ride. But it was time to get back. Fortunately the trail
they were on circled back to the office, leaving him with plenty of time
to get back to the cabin by noon.  

Fraser hadn't really expected that Ray would make good on his statement
about sleeping until noon. Ray was as much an early riser as he was. He
expected to find Ray on the deck, or in the kitchen. But Ray wasn't there.
He wasn't in the bedroom either. Puzzled Fraser went back into the
kitchen. On the table was the note he'd left earlier. Picking it up he
realized Ray had written across the bottom. In Ray's bold, oddly slanted
handwriting was a message //Fraser. Went down to the lake. Come get me
when you get back// 

"Well, Dief, shall we got get Ray, and see about some lunch?" The wolf
barked in agreement, always eager to eat.  

Fraser found the trail through the trees that led to the lake. Ray was on
the wooden dock that jutted out into the water, holding what appeared to
be a fishing pole. Fishing pole? Fraser looked again. Yes. It was indeed a
fishing pole. He watched in astonishment as Ray, with a simple, deft flick
of his wrist, executed a perfect cast.	

"Hey, Frase. Have a good ride?" 

"Yes. Very. I...Ray? " 

"Yeah?"  

"I didn't know you fished." 

Ray shrugged one shoulder, before he winked at Fraser. "Ya never asked." 

"No I guess I never did." Fraser paused, debating with himself silently.
"You said yesterday, that if I asked you nicely, you would tell me about
your history with this place." 

Ray nodded. "I seem to remember saying somethin' along those lines." Ray
reeled in his line, executed another graceful cast, before sitting down
next to Dief on the dock. Ray smiled slightly, not looking at Fraser. "So,
are you gonna ask me?" 

Fraser settled himself on the dock with Dief between them. "Ray, would you
please tell me about your history with this place? I would very much like
to know." 

Ray laughed. "Oh, very nice." He played with the fishing line for moment.
Ray looked out over the lake, but his face had that distant expression
Fraser knew meant he wasn't really seeing it. 

"My uncle, Dave, used to come up here every chance he got. He liked to get
away from the Chicago whenever he could. He was into the quiet, country
kind of thing. Drove my Aunt Helen nuts that he always wanted to come up
here. She was more in ta shopping, cultural stuff like the opera or the
ballet." Ray shook his head slightly. "They were kind of an odd couple,
but it worked for them. Ended up having three kids....all girls. I think
Dave kind of always wanted a boy. Not that he didn't love my cousins, it
was just ...you know, he wanted a son he could do stuff with like I did
with my dad." Fraser nodded his understanding. Many men seemed to prefer
sons to daughters. 

"Funny thing is that I think my dad was jealous of Dave. Sometimes girls
are easier than boys...least my cousins seemed to be easy. Not like me. I
was kind of ...well,..uh....difficult, would probably the best way to put
it. I wasn't into drugs or alcohol or any serious trouble, it was.....I
guess you could say that from the time I turned thirteen, my dad and me
didn't see eye to eye on anything. Long as we were doing stuff...like
working on cars, or boxing or whatever we were fine, but we couldn't say
ten words to each other without one of us just going off." Ray fell
silent. He breathed deeply before letting it out in a long sigh.  

 "Anyway, after one particularly nasty little scene, I stormed out. Ended
up heading down the street, and the next thing I knew I was at Uncle
Dave's. He was gettin' ready to come here, and I asked him if I could come
along. He just told me to hop in and off we went. Sort of ended up being a
pattern. Me and Dad would go at each other, I'd go to see Dave, and we'd
end up at Castle Lake. Summer I turned sixteen it seemed like I spent more
time here than I did at my house."  

"Dave was always cool about it. I could talk to him the way I couldn't
talk with my dad." Ray's expression turned thoughtful for a moment. "Never
thought of him bein' like you...." Ray shrugged one shoulder and then
continued. "Fraser, before I met you, my Uncle Dave was the only person I
could say never, ever lied to me. Not once. He was always a straight
shooter. Never pulled his punches. Sometimes, I think that's what made him
easy to talk to. If he thought I was bein' an asshole, he'd tell me so. If
he thought my dad was bein' unfair, he'd tell me that too. He talked to me
like an adult, which was pretty damn cool when I was only fourteen. He
taught me how to play chess, how ta fish, and filled me in on all that
life lesson stuff." 

"Life lesson stuff?" 

Ray grinned. "Yeah. You know...stuff like how to stay out of trouble, what
to do when you get in trouble, and the real biggie...how to talk to girls.
He was the one who convinced me ta learn how to dance. Said every woman
wants to be asked to dance." Ray's voice and expression changed so that
Fraser would tell he was quoting his uncle. "All things being equal,
nothing gives a man a better chance of impressing a woman than knowing how
to dance." 

"That would certainly seem to be good advice." 

Ray shrugged. "Worked with Stella. Sort of. Gave me a chance to get to
know her even if I never really impressed her." 

When Fraser said "ah" Ray shot him a disgusted look. "I hate it when you
do that. Never know if that is a good 'ah' or a bad 'ah'." 

"It isn't good or bad, Ray." 

"Uh-hunh." 

Fraser sat quietly processing what Ray had told him. It still left him
with a question. "Ray...you said yesterday that the last time you were
here was right after you decided to quit college, and that your
father...well that he wasn't...that is to say, he didn't approve of your
choice to enter the academy." 

 "That is one way of puttin' it." 

"You've indicated a pattern of your visits to Castle Lake centered around
your, rather...well, turbulent, for lack of a better word, relationship
with father. A relationship which has to date, I was given to understand,
was actually on better footing than its ever been. And you've apparently
not felt the need to return here in....I believe, you said it was close to
a decade since you'd come back here." Fraser, receiving an impatient look,
spoke faster. " So...I am wondering why you felt the need to come back
here now. I know you said yesterday that you simply felt the need to get
away from Chicago, to get away from people, a feeling I can understand,
but ....well to be honest, I can't help feeling that there might be more
to it than that." 

"Truth?" Ray bit his lower lip looking slightly apprehensive. 

"Always." 

Ray took a deep breath, and seemed to brace himself. "You know some times
bein' a cop really sucks. You get to see a lot of ugly stuff. This last
case was the rule not the exception. There are more sickos in Chicago than
you can shake a stick at. Given half a chance, I figure most of the people
you meet on the street would screw you over if they thought they could get
away with it. And believe me, Fraser, expecting the worst from people
hasn't left me feeling disappointed very often. "  

"But you, " Ray made eye contact with Fraser, " seem to think that people
are just naturally good and decent. That they'd do the right thing if you
showed 'em what the right thing was. And cause you believe in them, I
think they want to do the right thing. Hell, I know I do stuff for you
that I wouldn't do for any one else on the planet. I let you endanger my
life in wildly bizarre ways because its all in the pursuit of truth,
justice and what ever cause you care to name."	

Ray waved a hand in frustration, raising his voice slightly. "See...what
I'm trying to say is that I don't want you to be a cynic like me. I mean,
I know I give you a hard time about bein' a freak and tell you its stupid
to look on the bright side, but...the truth is I don't want the stuff you
see in Chicago...all the dark and ugly, the mean and cruel stuff, all the
nasty crap people do to each other to keep you from expecting the best
from people."  

Ray's gaze went back to the water. When he spoke again the volume had
dropped to just above a whisper, but the intensity was, if anything,
greater. "Sometimes, I think that there are things out that exist only
cause someone believes in them. An' one of those things is the good in
people. I need for one of us to believe, or everything I put up with on
the job just ain't worth it. I know, Fraser, I *know * it won't be me who
sees the good in people, so its gotta be you. Only time I ever really came
close to believing that not every one was just watching out for himself
and ta hell with everyone else, was when I was here. I was worried that
Chicago might be gettin' to you...so I brought you to the one place I knew
was more light than dark. Close as I could get to Canada on short notice.
"  

Ray hung his head. His hands fiddled with the fishing pole he still held.
"I know its stupid. You got a better handle on stuff than I ever will.
Just looking at a corpse makes me wanna toss my cookies, but there you are
licking shoes, or smelling its breath." Ray shuddered slightly.  

 "But I couldn't help worrying that this last case might have...well, I
know what it did ta me inside to see those little girls just dumped in an
alley like yesterday's garbage." Ray closed his eyes tightly. "They were
just little kids...should have been safe. Was my job, Fraser, *my job* to
make sure that they were. I know I can't keep them from gettin' hurt, but
I want to. If I'd been a better cop, then maybe Jennifer Merrick wouldn't
be dead. " 

Fraser placed a hand on Ray's shoulder, squeezing slightly. "You are a
good cop, Ray. A very good cop. We both did our best...no one can ask more
of you than that. And we might not have saved Jennifer, or the others, but
we did keep him from hurting any one else. You have very good instincts-" 

Ray snorted. "Not good enough." 

Fraser placed his hand gently under Ray's chin forcing his partner to look
at him. "Ray, all you need to remember is the same thing that I need to
remember...that we did catch him. We *did* stop him. He is going to go to
jail for a very long time, and it is because of us that he wont be able to
hurt anyone else. That we did our best...logic and instinct together make
a very good team." 

Ray gave him a half-smile. "Thanks, Frase." 

Fraser was relieved at this small indicator that his partner's mercurial
moods were again on the up swing. For some time now Fraser had become
aware that all was not right in his world, if all was not right with Ray.
His partner's well being, was rapidly becoming essential to his own. It
surprised him to learn that Ray harbored similar feelings.  

"Ray...you do have very good instincts, my friend. You were right." 

Ray shot him a slightly puzzled look. "I was right? Bout what"	

"Coming here. It was something I did need. I know you think I am better
able to handle the.... what was it you called it? Ah, yes, the ugly stuff
of police work. But the truth is...I was starting to feel a little...well
suffocated by Chicago and this last case. I hadn't realized just how much
I needed to get away from it until I was here. Thank you for that. For
recognizing a need that I wasn't even aware of. You have no idea how much
it means to know you are watching out for me." 

"Oh, I know how much it means." Fraser could see that Ray was being
entirely sincere, but he couldn't fail to notice a sparkle of mischief in
those pale blue eyes. "It means you have ta clean the fish I caught."  

"Fish? What fish, Ray?" 

Ray reached behind a dock pylon and retrieved a cooler that Fraser hadn't
noticed. He opened to reveal four moderately sized rainbow trout. "These
fish, Frase. You didn't think I spent all morning on this stupid dock
without catchin' something, did ya? I hate cleaning fish. Only part of the
whole fishing thing I could never get into. Uncle Dave always did it." Ray
got up and reeled in his line. "What'd ya think Dief? Fresh fish for
lunch." With that both he and the wolf started back to the cabin.  

As often as Ray's rapid emotional shifts left him dizzy trying to keep up,
he was still grateful that Ray could shift so easily from one emotion to
another. It was normal for Ray, and was rapidly becoming a normal part of
Fraser's world as well. Shaking his head in bemusement, Fraser got up to
follow both his friends.  

**************************************************************************
***** 

The next two days at Castle Lake were spent in ways similar to the first.
When it was time to leave, Fraser could feel a certain restless
anticipation pouring off Ray. Castle Lake had been a nice retreat, but it
wasn't really Ray's place. The slender, blonde detective had come here to
recharge his batteries, and ensure Fraser's well being. But now it was
time to get back to the bustle and energy of the urban environment that
was his home. Fraser understood. The quiet retreat had been a balm on his
wounded soul, but he too was ready to return to Chicago.  

When Ray dropped off the key to the cabin, Fraser couldn't help but notice
that he moved with his usual eager, almost frantic energy. It brought to
mind self-test strips on batteries. Ray was definitely back up to 100%.
And it was good to see him back to his usual self.  

Ray put the car in gear, leaving Castle Lake behind them. It wasn't long
before the GTO was back on the interstate headed for Chicago.  

Just outside the city limits, Ray put in a CD that was something up beat.
It had him bouncing along in his seat. He flashed a quick grin at Fraser. 

"Ready get back to busting the bad guys?" 

"Quite." 

"Good. Cause I'm sure the place is full of them."  

The end.