Standard Disclaimer, they don't belong to me. Please send questions, comments, compliments, and otters to sdelcul@mail.com --Contains one swear word. Spellbound The changes had come so gradually that Ray had hardly noticed a difference. It was only when he was alone, in his bedroom, with nothing to do but stare at the pictures on his wall as he fell asleep that he realized the difference. Most of the pictures showed two people, himself and Benny. Until recently most of his spare time had been spent hanging out with Benny. Looking back, he realized that over the last month, that pattern had changed. He was seeing less and less of his friend, both during work and in his free time too. Had it really been a week since he last saw his friend? Yes, even longer since they'd actually spent any time together. His final thought as he fell asleep was, 'I miss him.' When he woke up the next morning, it was to rush to the station, having overslept. The next time he thought about it he realized several days had passed. Worried, he looked back through his memory to see what had changed. Benny had started walking to work and back home more, presumably because Dief was getting soft. He had stopped coming to dinner at the Vecchio house, stopped visiting Ray at the station and stopped involving Ray in cases that were almost always bizarre. Had he done something to hurt Fraser? Their friendship had barely survived Victoria. Ray still felt guilty over shooting his best friend. It really had been an accident. And when Irene had died he had said some hurtful things. What had he done this time? His final thought as he went to sleep was, 'I have to make it up to him. I'd die before hurting him again.' He didn't sleep well that night. His dreams were filled with memories of that awful night when he had shot his best friend and his cruel words over Irene's death. He hadn't had one of those nightmares in a long time. This time Ray was awake a few minutes before his alarm and his first thought was of Fraser. As he got ready for work, his mind fed him images of Fraser. I love him. God it felt so right to say it. I know Benny's not like that. But it feels nice, loving him like this, spending time with him, just being near him is enough. I have to find out what happened. During his lunch break he got up the courage to go to the Consulate. His heart jumped as he saw the familiar red suit of the sentry only to drop again as he recognized Turnbull. He nodded to the young Mountie and went inside. Fraser wasn't in his office so Ray checked with Jasmine. "He had some errands to run Detective. He said he'd be back at 12:30." Unfortunately Ray's lunch hour ended at noon. "I'm sorry, I can't wait that long. I guess I'll see him after work." "If you'd care to leave a message . . . " "That's okay. Actually if you don't mind could you not tell him I stopped by?" ------- He pulled up to the curb just as Fraser and Dief were coming out the door. He got out of the Riv., saying, "Hey Benny, it's been a while." It was easier to look down at Dief and rub his head, then to watch Fraser. A few awkward seconds passed and he looked up at Fraser. Finally Fraser said, "Indeed." in a perfectly normal voice. The same one Ray knew he used when he was playing the naive innocent. "Can I give you a ride home?" "Dief and I can walk . . . " "Come on Benny, for old time's sake? I want to talk to you." Fraser was obviously reluctant to accept the offered ride. He's intentionally distancing himself from me, Ray realized. Finally Fraser seemed convinced that Ray wouldn't give up and accepted the ride. Once the car was on its way the conversation became only more stilted and awkward. "So, Fraser, what=ya been up to?" "Same as always, Ray." "Uh, how are things at the Consulate?" "Fine, Ray." "Dragon Lady still looking for a reason to fire you?" "Ray, . . . " "No, no forget I said that. Got any interesting cases?" he asked, pulling up to the curb of Benny's apartment building. "Not really, Ray. Thank you kindly for the ride." He"s never thanked me for that. He only does that with acquaintances, not friends. Ray got out of the car and followed Benny toward the stairs. "Ray . . . " "No Benny, I think we need to talk." Ray sat on the couch and grimaced as Fraser sat at the other end, as far away as humanly possible. As he scooted closer Ray said, "Benny, what=s going on?" "I don=t have any idea what you're referring to." Fraser said stiffly. Ray placed his hand on Benny's shoulder and felt him flinch at the touch. "Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?" Silence. "Fraser, you're my best friend. Whatever I did, I'm sorry." Fraser pulled away from his hand and walked to stand by the window. "You don't understand." Ray walked to stand beside his friend. "So explain it to me, please?" "I can=t." "Why?" "Ray, please, just go. It's easier this way." "Easier? For who? Benny, I love you. Please just give me another chance." Shit. He'd said it. That has to be it. He must have realized . . . Oh no. "You love me." "Oh God! That's it isn't it. My feelings for you . . . And you saw it . . . I understand if you're angry, but please give me a chance to explain. I don't expect anything from you and I understand completely that you don't feel the same way, but we can still be friends." He knew he was babbling but somehow he had to convince Fraser. "I love you. I am so sorry. Please . . . " Hoping he could find the right words, the words that would make Fraser understand that he was only asking for friendship. He quickly ran out of words and watched Fraser as he stared out the window, caught up in his own thoughts. He watched, desperately hoping for a sign that they could still be friends. Watching so closely he could almost read Benny's lips. "I love you too." Ray felt like he was looking down at someone else as Fraser faced him and repeated his declaration. "I love you too." then he was holding Benny, his Benny as tightly as he could. And when Benny leaned in to kiss him, Ray was spellbound.