What Really Happened That Night in the Sweat Lodge Warning this story does contain graphic accounts of m/m sex Okay, how's this for an intro to the list. :-) I couldn't help it, honest, Lauren mentioned sweat and Ray and I couldn't resist! Catherine ******************************************** What Really Happened That Night in the Sweat Lodge "So, Benny, this is what you do for fun up in the frozen north?" Fraser watched as a nervous-looking Ray bent and crawled into the sweat lodge. He'd never comprehend his friend's need to trivialize anything that he didn't understand. Ray scrambled around before finally settling down, cross-legged on the opposite side from Fraser, sweat already gathering on his brow. "No, Ray. We don't do this merely for fun. It's a highly spiritual activity." "Do you smoke anything?" Ray was looking around the dim interior and Fraser sighed softly. "Meditation, Ray. Relaxing and opening your mind. It's restful and enlightening." "Whatever you say." Ray shrugged his shoulders and tipped his head back, resting it against the wall. Fraser kept an eye on him for a moment, waiting for more of Ray's usual commentary but there was none forthcoming, his companion silent for once. It was wonderfully peaceful and slowly Fraser felt the tension ease from his muscles. The dimmness and Ray's silence lulled him. His eyes drifted shut, the damp heat coaxing him into a deep, meditative trance, images slipping in and out of his mind. At first, he saw Victoria. As always, her image brought a mixture of pleasure and pain. He took a deep breath, the damp air filling his lungs, soothing the anguish he felt. His first love, dark and mysterious, dangerous, but so beautiful. The image of her before him beckoned, then wavered, dissipating in a swirl of fog. Almost immediately, she was replaced with another image. He saw himself, naked, standing in a bathroom. In fact, it looked like the upstairs bathroom in the Vecchio home. He watched himself approach the shower, opening it to reveal an equally naked, and very wet, Ray. It was...not what he had expected. Startled, he almost opened his eyes. He doubted that Ray would appreciate him having this vision. But he couldn't pull himself away from it. Intrigued, he stayed with it, accepted it, still relaxed, content enough to explore whatever he was intended to. It was certainly an enticing vision, he looked as if he was enjoying himself. He was inside the shower, plastered against Ray's back, hands around his friend's chest. Ray's head was tilted back, eyes sparkling up at him. They were both smiling, one of Ray's fingers tracing over his lips. They looked so comfortable, so happy. Fraser relaxed and went with it. ********** Ray watched as Fraser's eyes drifted shut. This had been a very stupid idea, to join Fraser in here. Hot and sweaty, Ray squirmed. It wasn't just the temperature that was bothering him, it was Fraser. Skimpy shorts and a sheen of perspiration were not sufficient coverage. Ray knew he should close his eyes, should at least pretend to do whatever it was Benny was up to, but he just couldn't. He had always thought Benny attractive, an opinion shared by over half the female population of Chicago, including his own sister. Fraser's face was so regular, so perfect, an ideal match for his intelligence and gentle nature. Ray couldn't help but amire him, love him, everyone else seemed to. He didn't want to though, the memory of his father's scorn, the pain of his anger and his own desire to please the older man, had kept him on the straight and narrow for years. But now, with Benny's solid body displayed before him, half- naked and totally relaxed, he felt his resolve waver. They were alone, Fraser's attention was elsewhere, now was the time to indulge in fantasy. Letting his eyes close, Ray set the scene. His family would be away. They'd have the house to themselves. He'd be showering and Fraser would join him. Fraser's arms would go around him, their lips would meet, tongues twining together, teasing at each others lips. Those beautiful blue eyes would be staring into his, water droplets running down Benny's face, making him want to lick them off, to lick Benny all over. Ray shivered and opened his eyes, checking to make sure Benny was still doing whatever it was he was doing. Yeah, he'd kiss Benny some more, running his hands over shoulders and chest, kissing that damn otter scar, then the one at the corner of his mouth, tasting him, goodness and wildness mixed. Benny's hold would change. He'd move, slipping behind Ray. His hands would be on Ray's chest. Oh, that would feel so good, Benny's fingers in his chest hair, brushing against his nipples. Unaware, Ray moaned softly. There would be heat plastered along his back, Benny's cock rubbing against him. "Oh, Benny," he whispered. In that moment, he wanted it so desperately. His fingers tracing over Benny's lips, being sucked into his... "Ray?" Shock snapped his eyes open. Fraser was staring at him and Ray flushed. He knew, Ray could see it in his eyes, in their bright, surprised look. "You called my name." He'd said it out loud. Of all the idiotic things... His erection stubbornly refused to go away and he saw Fraser's gaze flicker, eyes widening, before returning to his face. Ray looked away. Fraser was so pure, so clean. It was one of the things he loved in him and here he was sullying it. "I'm sorry." "Why?" Ray's gaze stayed firmly lowered, despite Fraser's calm tone. "You know why, what I was thinking." There was a sharp intake of breath and Ray felt the other man's approach. "Yes, I think I do. I'm glad, Ray." Shocked, Ray looked up into startlingly blue eyes. Fraser was leaning over him, so close, so dangerously close. "You are?" "Yes." "Why?" "I seem to feel the same way." "You *seem* to?" "Yes." Ray just stared, unable to believe. But Fraser seemed determined to change that. He reached out, fingers tracing along Ray's jaw, collecting the little beads of sweat forming there, bringing them to his own lips. He licked and arousal tore through Ray like wildfire. He reached out and Fraser was there. His hands rubbed over sweat-slick skin, Benny's skin. Leaning close, he brushed his lips delicately against the other man's, tasting himself, his own sweat, on Benny's lips. Tongue darting out, he licked at Fraser's mouth. Benny's hands were cupping his face, caressing then gently tugging him away. "What?" A stab of fear shot through him. Had Benny changed his mind? "Not in here. If we're going to make love, I want it to be in a bed, my bed." Fraser's voice was calmly determined, a faint huskiness the only sign of what they were about to do. Ray shivered. Benny's bed; Frannie was going to kill him if she ever found out. "Ray?" His attention refocused on the man kneeling in front of him. Hair tousled, curling with the damp heat, eyes bright blue, voice slightly puzzled, Fraser was gorgeous and, apparently for the moment, his. It was as frightening as it was arousing. "I need you." Ray whispered roughly, tentitively extending one hand. This was going to mean too much, far too much. His fingers were enveloped in warmth. "I know. It's very mutual, Ray." A soft brushing of lips and he was released to follow his Mountie from the sweat lodge. The apartment seemed unbearably chill after the warmth of the lodge and Ray wrapped his arms round himself, watching Fraser pull down the bedsheets. As he bent over, Ray sucked in a breath, Fraser's white cotton shorts accentuating the curve of his ass. Fraser turned at the sound. "Is something wrong?" In a second, Fraser was beside him, warm skin pressed to his side. Ray chuckled. "I don't know whether to shrivel up from the cold or explode at the sight of you." Fraser looked puzzled until Ray's hand slid around and down, cupping one cheek through the thin cotton. Then Fraser blushed, pressing his face to Ray's shoulder. Ray continued to stroke the smooth muscular globe. "Beautiful, Benny." Ray murmured, lips starting to trail a series of kisses along the side of his neck. Both hands slid beneath white cotton and he felt the muscles tense, Fraser suddenly pressing hard against him before pulling back. Ray's eyes were drawn down. He hadn't imagined it. Fraser was hard, his erection stretching the front of his shorts. Ray reached out, fingers tracing over the bulge. Fraser moaned, eyes closing, head going back. Ray smiled and knelt, hands on Benny's hips. He rubbed his cheek against Benny's stomach, ventured lower and felt hands on his head, just resting there. He pressed a kiss to the damp spot staining the front of Fraser's shorts and hooked his fingers into the waistband, drawing them down. He kept his eyes lowered until Fraser was completely naked. The heat of him rested against Ray's cheek. All he needed to do was turn his head and... "Ray." Fraser's hands grippped his shoulders, pulling him to his feet. "I want to see you too, touch you." A little apprehensive, Ray pulled his undershirt over his head. He'd always been a bit uncomfortable about his looks. Balding, too skinny, he felt awkward next to Benny's sleek build. Awkward and irritated and a little afraid. "Not much to look at, huh?" He glanced toward the bed, almost wishing the candles that lit the room were gone. Except that then he wouldn't be able to see Benny. "I have no complaints." The shirt was pulled from his hands and taken to Benny's face. Amazed, Ray watched him rub it against his cheek. "It smells like you." "You like the way I smell?" "I like almost everything about you." Copying Ray's earlier gesture, Fraser went to his knees. Hands stroking at Ray's hips, he pressed a kiss to his navel. "I like the way you smell." He rubbed his nose against the soft hair on Ray's belly. "Taste." A tongue plunged into his navel and Ray squirmed. "Benny, please." His hands found Fraser's shoulders and pushed him back. Blue eyes looked up, questioning. Ray bit his lip and nodded as Fraser's fingers tugged his boxers down and away. He was half- proud, half-mortified. Fully erect and already damp, his cock was rosy-red with desire. Fraser's fingers traced over the shaft, thumb circling the tip, spreading the moisture over the head, around... Ray moaned and Fraser stopped. "Bed?" There was a slightly smug expression on a certain Mountie's face. "That's a very good suggestion, Benny." Fraser took his hand, rising gracefully. They stood beside the bed for a moment and Ray gave Fraser one more chance to back out. "Are you sure? You want this?" The 'me' remained unspoken but Fraser's mouth curved in a smile. "I am sure. I want you." Fraser's arms went round his shoulders, Ray's wrapping round Fraser's waist. So unbelievable that Benny would want him but so good that he apparently did. The warm skin under his hands was silky smooth until they roamed further, brushing against puckered scar tissue left by a bullet, his bullet. He froze, heart pounding in his chest. "It's all right, Ray." Hot, moist air whispered past his ear. "It really is." Ray pulled back to look into Benny's eyes and it was all right, a smile on Benny's lips, desire in his eyes and in the pressure of his cock against Ray's thigh. "I love you." Ray whispered helplessly, hopelessly. "Then love me, Ray." Soft lips pressed down, a flickering tongue encouraging his own mouth to open, his tongue to explore. Ray moaned into it, cupping Benny's face in his hands, kissing his eyes, his lips, everything. Tumbling them both onto the mattress, Ray rolled on top, leaning over Fraser. "How do you want me to love you, Benny?" He pressed his hips down, felt the answering nudge of Fraser's erection. Fraser's head lifted to lick at the tiny nipples hidden in the light dusting of hair covering Ray's chest and belly. Ray trembled, surprised at how good it felt, Benny's tongue curling, teeth pulling. He gasped at the sudden sharp pain, moaned as Benny's wet tongue laved the small hurt, sending shivers down his spine. He wanted all of Benny, but this was not the time for that. Too eager, too desperate, rushing was not how he wanted Benny to experience that kind of love. Ray felt himself pushed over, Fraser kneeling astride him, hand reaching to capture his cock. Delicate touches teased him unmercifully. "I want you to love me like this." Fraser spoke clearly, staring deep into Ray's eyes before lowering his head. Ray closed his eyes, head pressed into the pillow as the warmth of Fraser's breath coursed over his aching cock. Another second and there was a cautious lick at the head. Ray groaned, hands clenching into the sheets. Licking and sucking, Fraser was exploring every inch of his cock. He was so close already, like a randy teenager. Ray looked down and stiffened at the sight of his cock slipping in and out of Benny's mouth. Shakily, he rested one hand against Fraser's cheek, feeling it hollow, pleasuring him. It was too much, too fast. He tried to warn Benny, gasping a warning just before he cried out, a strangled shout as he came, pouring himself into his lover's throat. Dimly, he was aware of Benny's weight resting against him, of the hot hardness still prodding at his thigh. Fraser's fingers were tracing patterns in his chest hair. He captured the wandering fingers. Fraser's lips found his and he tasted himself there. "I'm sorry," he whispered. Fraser smiled slightly and shook his head. "Don't. You were beautiful." Ray felt his face heat. "Can I...?" "I would like that, Ray." Fraser rolled over onto his back, Ray moving to kneel between his legs, hands stroking at the sensitive inner thighs. He liked the way Benny shivered at his touch. "Ah, Benny." Ray lowered his head, kissing the thick column of Fraser's throat, moving lower to nibble at the pink, erect nipples, moving on to his navel and below. The body beneath his squirmed, arching under the mastery of his hands and mouth. It was wonderful, amazing, unbelievable to be able to do this for this man. Reaching the rigid column of flesh, Ray ringed the base with his fingers, letting his tongue lap at the head, map out the path of the big vein from root to tip. He licked round the flared head, enjoying Benny's panting breaths, his little gasps at each new sensation. Hands caressed Ray's head, rubbing at his hair, the curve of his ears. "Ray, please." Benny's breathing was rougher now, legs trembling with strain. Ray sucked harder, swallowing him as deeply as he could, one hand caressing his balls. The cock in his mouth hardened just a little bit, Benny whimpered, and then he was coming, hot spurts of fluid filling Ray's mouth faster than he could swallow. He pulled back finally, hand still at Fraser's groin, a last few gentle soothing strokes, the way he handled himself. He lay down at Benny's side, hand stroking across the still trembling abdomen. Benny's eyes were closed and Ray longed to see them. Afraid that this was it, that Fraser didn't really want him, but almost more afraid that he did. He stared at his own hand, watching it caress the man he called his best friend. A hand tugged at the back of his neck and he turned his head. Benny's lips met his, tongue darting out to lick at the corner of Ray's mouth, his cheek. He looked enquiringly at Benny. "Semen." "There you go again." Ray grinned. "Tasting everything." "I've never tasted mine before. I like yours better." "That's disgusting." "No, it's not." Farser paused. "You don't want to do this again?" "That's not what I said!" Ray blurted out. Fraser smiled again and Ray glared back in disgust. "You're harassing me!" One hand slipped across Ray's chest, pulling him firmly against Fraser's more solid frame. "You want me to stop?" Fraser's face was very serious-looking and Ray swallowed hard. Was this Benny's way of asking for a commitment? Ray never even considered his answer. "Don't ever stop, Benny." ********** Fraser stared down at the dark head laying against his chest. So unexpected, so different from Victoria, but so right. Ray just felt right laying naked against his skin, skinny and hairy and, despite that, all that Fraser wanted. Ray grumbled in his sleep, shifting, and Fraser thought again about his dream and the sweat lodge. Had Ray been having the same dream? A similar one? He'd have to thank Eric somehow, though he doubted this was the use Eric had intended. He stroked the thin skin of Ray's back, feeling muscle and bone beneath the surface. It might not have been a spiritual experience but it had certainly had its revelations. He felt a yawn from the area of his armpit. "Want a shower, Ray?" He held his breath as Ray shifted again, sitting up and glancing down at the growing erection between Fraser's legs. His eyes gleamed. "I thought you'd never ask."