Ben & Phil Ch 7	

Disclaimer: This story is written for the private entertainment of fans.
The author makes no claims on the characters or their portrayal by the
creation of this story. Fraser, Vecchio, et.al. belong to Alliance; the
McKenzies and friends belong to me. No infringement of any copyrights held
by CBS, Alliance, CTV, or any other copyright holders of DUE SOUTH is
intended. This story is not published for profit, and the author does not
give permission for this story to be reproduced for profit. 

Rated PG (adult situations, some swearing) 

An Acquired Taste 

By SL Haas 

(Copyright November 1996, Revised May 1999) 

July 1984 

The day had been enjoyable. Benton Fraser had experienced many things in
his life but nothing like today. He shook his head. Honestly,
rock-tasting...who would have thought it? Phil was certainly...what was it
Rob had called her? Daft! That was the word. Phil was certainly daft and a
little off-center. That was just one of the reasons he loved her. She
continually surprised him. He didn't want the day to end, but it was late
and he knew the time wasn't right to...his mind shied away from that
thought. He was getting tired of cold showers. 

He stepped away from the Blazer, but put a hand on the door before Phil
could drive away. "I almost forgot." He smiled then hurriedly said, "I
have tickets for the symphony for next weekend. I know you have off and I
know how much you love classical music. And I thought I would ask you
before you had a chance to make other plans. Would you accompany me to the
symphony?" It all came out in a rush. He hoped she would accept. If she
didn't...he knew he wouldn't go without her. "I could wear my dress
'reds'..." He hoped she didn't already have plans. As much as he had
enjoyed this day in the field, it was not a real date. 

Phil heard the plea in his voice as it trailed off. He really wanted to
take her? Why did he want to spend time with her? It amazed her that Ben
wanted to be with her and not some other woman. The symphony? She had just
the dress. She looked at Ben's face, saw disappointment beginning to
settle on his face. 

‘She's not going to accept,’ Ben thought. ‘She already has plans for next
weekend.’ He watched Phil's eyes and saw her lopsided smile light her
face. 

"I'd love to go with you, Ben."  

Did he hear that right?  

It must have shown on his face because she grasped his arms and shook him.
"Ben, I said I would go to the symphony with you." She laughed and
squeezed his hand. Then she pushed him away from the car door, "Now let me
go...before I lose all sense of propriety." 

He definitely would like to see that but...he smiled at her and watched
the Blazer drive away. It stopped and backed up. She called to him, "T,
what day and what time? I need to know." 

He shook himself and gave her the required information, then surprised
himself by asking, "What color dress will you be wearing?" 

"Black," her husky voice turned that one word into a caress. Much like the
way she said 'Ben.' Just the way she smiled at him with her crooked smile
and the way she said his name could generate such heat inside him that... 

'Oh dear,' he signed deeply, 'another cold shower night. One of these
days, Phil, I'll be done with cold showers forever. That's a promise I've
made myself, Philippe Henry Sheridan McKenzie.' He waved at the silhouette
in the Blazer as she drove away. * * * 

Phil dug in the back of her closet for the cocktail dress TJ had given her
for her birthday two years ago. The dress was a beautiful black lace
affair, low cut, falling to just above her knees in body clinging lines.
She had never owned anything so beautiful or so revealing. When she tried
it on for the first time, her brothers serenaded her with wolf whistles. 

"See, Rob! I told you underneath the jeans and sweats was a woman!" 

"I never doubted that. I just never realized how much of a woman!" 

By this time Phil was blushing a deep scarlet that accentuated the
delicate blackness of the dress. "If you two don't let up on me, I'll
never wear this dress again. Or anything remotely resembling it!" The
good-natured jesting continued but she still felt uncomfortable. She
carefully stored the gown in a dress bag and hung it in the back of her
closet. It hadn't seen the light of day since. 

But, here she was digging through her closet to find it. That is if she
dared to wear the dress. There it was! All it needed was a quick trip to
the cleaners to remove the wrinkles. She could wear the opal necklace Rob
had given her with it. * * * 

The hot water sluicing across his body from the showerhead felt good. He
massaged a tight spot in his neck and leaned forward to let the water beat
on his back. It felt so good. The only thing that could possibly feel
better would be Phil's hands massaging his back, running across his chest,
down his stomach to...	

The desire for Phil ran rampant. His whole body shook. "Phil..." slipped
from his lips. He had never desired anyone the way he wanted Phil; even
his desire for Cat was not like this. When he was with Phil, he wanted
her, but when he was away from her, he wanted her even more. He couldn't
get enough of her. The prospect of never seeing her after October created
a panic that threatened to overpower him. He had only felt this way about
one other person but the love he had for Cat was nothing like what he felt
for Phil. He had acquired a taste for Phil McKenzie. It was almost like an
addiction. 

There were times when he wished he had never applied for the training
program. Then he would never have come to Colorado, never have known Phil
McKenzie, never have experienced the emotions that claimed him. He would
have never known what it meant to find his soul mate. He would never have
agonized over going home. But...he had come to Colorado, had met Phil, had
fallen in love with her. What was he going to do? 

He ran his fingers through his hair noting that it was getting a little
long. A slight smile curved his mouth. He loved the way Phil ran her
fingers through it. She liked the curls that resulted when she threaded
her fingers through his hair. He sometimes wished that her hair were
longer. He closed his eyes and imagined the feel of her hair on him,
flowing around her body like a cloak...he felt his desire rising once
more. "Oh dear!" He reached for the faucet and turned the cold water on
full blast. The shock of the cold after the warmth of the hot water had
the desired result. 

He quickly left the shower and dried himself. He pulled on his freshly
starched boxers and turned to the small mirror. He rubbed his chin and
decided to shave again, even though he had shaved that morning. 

He dressed slowly and carefully. He didn't own a suit and his dress
uniform seemed the most appropriate thing to wear. He hadn't worn it in
almost three months. It seemed strange to be putting it on now. He took
special care in making sure the seams of his jodhpurs were straight, the
belts lay flat, and his boots were laced uniformly. They gleamed from the
polishing they had undergone. He wanted to look his best for Phil. He
tugged at the collar of his tunic. Damn, but he hated the scratchy
wool...especially in summer. But for Phil, he would gladly suffer the
discomfort. 

Phil...he wondered what she would be wearing. He had never seen her in
anything except flannels, T-shirts, jeans, or shorts and...he had seen her
in considerably less. His thoughts flashed back to Blue Cabin. His eyes
closed and the feel of her skin, the scent of her hair, the loveliness of
her body stirred his desires once more. He reluctantly pulled his thoughts
away from Blue. He didn't have the time for another cold shower. 

He removed the corsage from the tiny refrigerator and retrieved his
Stetson from the bed. Maybe tonight would see the collapse of Phil's fears
and her denial of what existed between them. Maybe tonight they could
discuss the future. Maybe tonight he wouldn't return to his motel room to
spend the night alone. * * * 

Phil was dressed a good half-hour before Ben was to arrive. She struggled
to fasten the clasp of the necklace, but her hands shook. 'Dammit, Phil,
get a hold of yourself!' Every time she thought the necklace was fastened
it slid off her neck and settled into the cleavage revealed by the dress. 

"Dammit!" Phil's courage faltered and she headed for the stairway and the
closet in her bedroom. Maybe there was something else she could
wear--something less revealing--something that didn't need a necklace or
at least one she could fasten. She gave the opal necklace one last try. As
before, it slid down to where it didn't belong. "Dammit!" 

Ben removed his hat and knocked on the door. He carefully brushed at an
imagined piece of lint on his dress 'reds' and smiled. What would Phil be
wearing? Surely she had something appropriate. She had said black. He
hoped the wrist corsage of red rosebuds was appropriate. He knocked again.
Where was she? The door finally opened. His eyes roved up and down,
drinking in the vision before him. He was stunned. He could feel his eyes
widen and his mouth drop open. Surely this...this wasn't Phil? 

A hand was clutched to the bodice of a low-cut black lace gown, revealing
the rounded mounds of breasts, lightly tanned shoulders and a neck rising
to a face framed by curls and wisps of hair. The vision smiled at him with
Phil's crooked smile. 

"Phil, is that...I mean, you look...that is..." He was stammering. He had
never stammered in her presence before. But this...this couldn't be his
Phil. 

Phil blushed as Ben's frankly approving gaze moved over her figure. The
hand she held to the bodice of her gown to keep the necklace from settling
further now spread out in a futile effort to cover some of the exposed
flesh. "Ben, you're early! I'm not quite ready. Come on in. You can wait
while I finish up." She turned away from him and moved toward the great
room.  

Ben could see she was struggling with something in front of her. "Is there
something I can help you with?" 

"No...that is, yes, maybe you can help me. I can't seem to get my necklace
fastened." 

He tossed his Stetson and the corsage on a table. He came up behind her
and saw her fingers delving into her cleavage. His fingers curled as an
image of his fingers replacing hers ran through his mind. He remembered
Blue Cabin and Phil's soft skin, her body... 

"There it is!" Phil's fingers extracted a necklace from her cleavage. She
turned around and surprised the strangest expression on Ben's face. His
eyes were fastened on her cleavage and the curve of her breasts above the
bodice of the dress. ‘Dammit! I should have changed!’ she thought as her
hands moved to cover herself. "T, if you don't stop looking at me like
that, I'll...I'll..."  

Ben’s eyes remained riveted to the 'hands' in front of her dress.  

"That does it. I'm changing. I will not have you looking at me like I was
a...a side of beef and you were a ravenous wolf!" She made to move past
him. 

Ben wrenched his eyes away from Phil's 'hands'. "I'm sorry...I just...I've
never...You see..." He stopped and smiled sheepishly at Phil. He took a
deep breath and began again, "You've taken me by surprise, Phil." He
paused and reached for her, "Gosh, Phil, you're beautiful!" There was a
strange quality to his voice that sent chills up and down her spine. 

'Beautiful?' she questioned herself as she allowed him to draw her close
to his body. Beautiful? No, Ben was the beautiful one. He was incredibly
handsome in his red uniform. ‘When they passed out the good looks, he must
have gone back for seconds,’ she thought. What am I doing here? Her arms
crept around his shoulders; she threaded her fingers in his thick hair,
and pulled his face down for a kiss. Just as quickly she stepped back and
handed her necklace to Ben. She then turned her back on him. 

The necklace was a series of opal cabochons in a filigree setting. Ben
placed it around Phil's neck and secured the clasp. The view over her
shoulder did nothing to help restore his composure. ‘Damn, not another
cold shower?’ he complained to himself. 

"Thank you, T. I've struggled with that necklace for over 10 minutes. It
was a gift from Rob." She was babbling; she couldn't help it. Just the
nearness of Ben could turn her insides to Jell-O. How could this man
possibly be interested in her? She shook her head in bewilderment. If she
wasn't careful, she'd fall head-over-heels in love with him. She fingered
her necklace and glanced at the man who had turned her world upside down.
A pang of prescient despair gently squeezed her heart as a little voice
inside her said, ‘Who are you kidding, you've already done that and come
October...he'll leave you.’ A slight movement in the periphery of her
vision caught her eye. It drew her upwards out of her despair. She watched
Ben stride to the table and turn to her. 

Ben retrieved the corsage, removed it from its box, and approached Phil.
"I have very little experience buying flowers for a date. I hope you like
these..." He fastened it around Phil's wrist. 

Phil lifted the rosebuds to her nose and inhaled their fragrance. "It's
lovely, Ben. It is perfect with this dress. Thank you." 

His toes curled at the sound of his name on her lips. He was in bad shape
if the mere sound of his name spoken by her low voice could so affect him.
He knew he loved her. He was only beginning to realize just how powerful
that emotion could be. What was he going to do when he had to return to
Canada? What were they both going to do? This was something they needed to
talk about. He knew how much his return home would affect him...how much
it would affect Phil. He could remember her fever-delirious pleas to stay
with her. He remembered them, did she? Somehow, he didn't think she did. 

Phil reached for her wrap but Ben's hands were there first. He draped the
wrap around her shoulders, his fingers lingering on the bare flesh. His
lips planted a gentle caress on the back of her neck. Phil turned in his
arms. Her hands came up to cup his face. She stared long into his glacier
blue eyes. Satisfied with what she saw there she gently pulled his face
down and returned his gentle kiss. 

Ben smiled at her. Almost...this time she had almost opened her lips to
him. Almost, but not quite. Soon though, he would gain access to her
mouth. Soon... 

He retrieved his Stetson and together they left for the concert. * * * 

"I have reservations at Damien's. I thought we could eat before the
concert?" His eyes sought Phil's. "I've heard it's a good restaurant." 

"I've heard it's one of the best. I've also heard you have to make
reservations weeks in advance. How did you manage that?" 

Ben coughed then replied, "I made the reservations several weeks ago--just
after you got out of the hospital. That's when I got the concert tickets
as well." 

"So, you've been planning this date for several weeks now?" Ben nodded his
head. "Why didn't you tell me?" 

"I was afraid you might decline. I almost didn't ask you last week but..."


"I'm glad you did, T. I guess this is our first official date? It somehow
seems strange to think of it as such. We have done so many things
together. Do you know what I mean?" 

"Yes, I think I do, Phil." 

The dinner was enjoyable. The food was well prepared and the conversation
that flowed around the eating was satisfying to both parties. Humor was
shared, family discussed, reminisces of the past entwined with
recollections of the day. More than one head turned to watch the couple
who were so obviously in love. 

The concert was exceptional--the music superb. Phil's favorite was Ravel's
'Bolero' and the orchestra performed it with such feeling. It stirred her
blood and she unconsciously reached for Ben's hand. When he took hers, she
smiled at him letting a little of the love she felt show in her eyes. 

The look in Phil's eyes when she glanced at him would haunt Ben for years.
He could actually see love there. He could still see the shutters, but, at
least, he had seen a glimpse of love there. An inexpressible feeling of
contentment pervaded his heart. * * * 

Of all the things he had to do when it came to Phil, the hardest thing was
saying goodbye. He took the wrap from her shoulders and draped it across
the back of a chair. He followed Phil out onto the deck and stared at the
night sky with her. He took her into his arms and held her as she leaned
against his chest. He smiled. She was listening to his heartbeat. She had
told him it brought her peace to hear the steady beat of his heart. Just
holding her in his arms, burying his face in her hair, and breathing the
lavender scent of her shampoo did the same for him. 

He bent his head and placed a kiss on her neck. He inhaled deeply. The
lavender scent he associated with Phil was masked by another subtler
scent. "Phil, are you wearing perfume?" 

"Yes. Why?" She turned a puzzled look on him. "Don't you like it?" 

"Yes, very much." He inhaled again closing his eyes. The scent was
delicate, yet stimulating. No, that wasn't the right word. It was more
than stimulating. It was arousing. That's what it was! It was arousing! He
drew back from Phil and took several deep breaths of non-scented air. He
needed them to clear his head. 

"T, are you all right?" Ben noted the concern in Phil's voice. His arms
dropped to his sides. 

"Yes, I'm fine. You've never worn perfume before. Why now?" 

He watched the tip of her tongue slowly glide across her lips. Its
movement mesmerized him. "I don't usually wear the stuff, but this is a
special occasion so I thought..." Her voice trailed off as she caught a
glimpse of the flames burning in Ben's eyes. Naked desire poured from him.
She had rarely seen that look in a man's eyes before Ben. She could
usually read his emotions as they played across his face or in his eyes,
but this one was one she didn't know how to handle. If it had been any
other man she would have cut off the relationship immediately the moment
she first saw 'that look.' But this was Ben. He had never treated her with
anything but respect and kindness and gentleness and... She stared at him
wide-eyed with confusion. She swallowed several times and took a step back
away from him. 

Ben saw the 'deer-in-the-spotlight' look in Phil's eyes before he realized
what had happened. He reached for her even as she backed away from him. He
felt a twinge of fear in his heart. He had scared her again. But, dammit!
He was tired of hiding his growing desire for her. He was surprised when
Phil's voice reached him in a whisper. 

"Ben, can I ask you a stupid question?" 

He stared into her eyes reading confusion, doubt, and a small tinge of
apprehension. He smiled and replied, "One of my favorite teachers once
told me there were no such things as stupid questions, only stupid
answers." He paused then continued, "Ask and I'll try not to give you a
stupid answer." 

Phil drew in a shaky breath. How could she phrase the question that burned
in her?  

Ben wasn't helping any by looking at her the way he was. He watched her
moisten her lips with her tongue--felt his desire rekindle.  

Phil saw the flames in his eyes once more. "What are you thinking right at
this moment, Ben? You're eyes say something that I need you to clarify.
I've seen this look before and I need to know what it is you want from
me." She turned away and stared across the darkened meadow. Did she really
want to know what he wanted from her? What if it wasn't love but only sex?
Could she handle that? Did she want to handle that? She turned back to
him. 

"I'm sorry, Phil. I didn't mean to frighten you. But ..." He drew in a
deep breath, "...that's all I'm sorry for. I will not apologize for the
fact that I want you...desire you..." He held his hand out to her. "Phil,
you have no idea what you do to me." 

Phil stared at Ben as he reached for her then drew his hand back. He
wanted her. Plain and simple. At least he hadn't pretended that he loved
her. He had answered her question.  

Her heart turned to stone in that instant. She lowered her head and closed
her eyes. He didn't love her. Well, she had expected this all along. Why
was she upset, now that it had happened? After all, he was a man.  

She wanted Ben to leave so she could crawl back inside her shell and
isolate herself from everyone. She knew when she first saw him that he was
trouble. Why had she let him get to her? Why couldn't she forget him and
go on with her life? Why did it hurt so much to finally know where she
stood with him? Why? Because she loved him, that's why. Her thoughts
returned to the here and now as his rich voice continued.  

"Phil, I cannot envision a life without you. Every time I think of leaving
in October, I..." He looked at her and Phil saw the pain darken his
glacier blue eyes. He reached for her and drew his hand back again--almost
as if he was afraid to touch her. Instead he ran his hand through his
hair. "I promise you, Phil, I will never force myself on you or take
something you're not willing to give. No matter how much I want you. And
Phil...it's not just sex I want...I want you...all of you. The desire for
sex is just a natural part of what I feel for you." 

Phil felt her heart beat again. As he raked his fingers through his hair
and made his confession, she smiled. It was her turn to reach out to him.
She did so, using her fingers to smooth down the hair he had mussed.
Capturing her hand, he brought it to his lips. He kissed her palm before
letting it go. The look he turned on her asked for her forgiveness. Phil
used both her hands to cup his face and draw it down to meet hers in a
kiss. 

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" Phil smiled and nodded. "Good. And Phil..."
He made sure he had her attention, "...get used to seeing that look in my
eyes. I can't help it and I'm tired of hiding it from you. Just, please,
don't be frightened of it or of me. Okay?"  

Phil searched Ben's eyes and read the sincerity there. She nodded again.
It was Ben's turn to smile. * * * 

Ben lay on his bed in his motel room. His thoughts took their familiar
path to Phil. Over the past two weeks, he had seen two completely
different sides of her. Spending a day with her as she prepared for her
field course he had seen Phil in casual mode. He was impressed with her
abilities as a teacher. He had actually learned something, not that he
would be chewing on rocks much in his line of work. But using his sense of
taste as an investigative technique was something he was definitely going
to pursue. And he had seen her...his mind's eye saw Phil in that dress and
his pulse began to race. He had seen a side to her that he knew few had
seen. He doubted that any of their friends had ever seen Phil in a dress
like the one she had worn for him. 

That familiar feeling began to build in his groin. Soon he was going to
break through her resistance and she would admit her feelings for him.
Phil was stubborn, but he had grown up in the wilds of northern Canada. He
was patient--patient and persistent. Phil didn't stand a chance. Sooner or
later, she would admit what she felt for him. He knew that with a
certainty. He smiled in anticipation. He could wait. 

To be continued (?) 

Copyright November 1996 by SL Haas 

Revised May 1999 

Comments are welcome at durango@ionet.net 

Fraser’s Secret (Book 1)  On a Collision Course Nocturnal Duet Jumping to
Conclusions "In the Kiss of One Girl" Real Conversations Icnites,
Montmorillonite, and Bentonite, Oh My! An Acquired Taste "…a Dish Best
Served Cold" Like Thunder When It Rains Steppingstones The First
Consciousness An Answered Dream Since We Parted The Fine Line That
Separates Moments of Regret Benton's Secret