AND BABY MAKES THREE   Okay-standard stuff here-All characters of
Due South belong to Alliance I am simply borrowing them, 
though I wish I could keep them they are not mine.Please do not reproduce
or copy this story in anyway 
without my permission yada yada yada 
Warnings-R for sexual content and some language. Presents both m/f and m/m
relationships-so if you 
aren't comfortable with this DON'T READ IT!  This was writen by request to
give a little more detail to How Fraser and Ray got Rose and their
dealings afterwards, so techically it is a sequal/prequel to Ray of Hope. 

By: Amethyst FEEDBACK  

AND BABY MAKES THREE 

 
 
 
 

         It was almost three months into the quest, when they reached the
point that Fraser had calculated the Hand of Franklin might be, though he
had been quick to warn Ray at the beginning that no one had ever found the
hand and that their quest might be in vain. Ray had been off the sled
before Fraser had the team completely stopped and was running toward
something -though Fraser didn't know what. He settled the dogs, unhitched
Diefenbaker and went to stand beside his friend, who was shaking and
staring out at the vast wilderness of ice before them. 
         He had thought perhaps that Ray was cold or perhaps the
exhaustion had finally gotten to him, but he was astounded to find the
detective laughing almost hysterically, as he dropped to his knees in the
snow. Worried that the man he secretly adored was loosing his mind, Fraser
dropped next to him and reached out a hand to calm him, only to have Ray
throw his arms around the him and kiss him roughly, passionately on the
lips. To say that Fraser had been shocked was an understatement, the very
action had caused them both to topple backwards into the snow. Ray raised
his head and stared down at him, as though realizing what he had done,
then grinned sheepishly and climbed off the Mountie-offering him a hand
up. 
         Fraser neither took the hand offered or attempted to rise, he
kept staring at Ray standing above him, remembering the feel of the other
man's lips on his, his tongue in his mouth, like it had been a dream and
he was not fully awake. 
         "I'm sorry,  ya okay?" Ray offered quietly as Fraser finally took
his hand and allowed himself to be hauled upwards. "I...I just got a
little excited." 
         "But Ray..." Fraser finally started, glad to have his voice back
again under his control, since Ray's kiss had robbed him of it earlier.
"I...I don't understand? We...there is nothing here. We haven't found the
hand of Franklin, Ray." 
         "Yah, I know." Ray replied easily as he moved away from Fraser
and started to play with Dief, who was romping delightedly in the snow. "I
never thought we would." Fraser stared at him-okay; perhaps he could be
shocked a  little bit more. Ray never believed they would find the hand of
Franklin? Then why had they come? Why had they embarked on the quest? Why
did Ray put himself through the torture of staying with him and the harsh
environment of the North? 
         "You...you mean you didn't want to find the hand of Franklin?"
Fraser gasped confused, as Ray finally turned back to him again and
grinned. 
         "Nah, I mean...it would have been cool if we did-but it's no big
deal that we didn't." Fraser tugged on his ear and caressed his brow with
his thumb nail 
         "I...I am confused, Ray." He admitted. "If you do not care
whether we find the hand or not, then why are we here looking for it?" 
         "Because lookin' is half the fun, Fraser." Ray opted calmly as he
made his way back to the sled and prepared to climb in. "Now we can go to
yer cabin." Fraser stared at him, his confusion giving way to anger. Fun!
Ray had done this for fun! Had suffered near phenomena, frost bite,
sleepless nights, exhaustion, for fun! It wasn't possible, why would the
detective subject himself to such.... 
         "Why, Ray?" Fraser found himself asking and Ray turned back and
walked over to him. He reached up a gloved hand and brushed some snow from
Fraser's face where they had fallen. 
         "It was never about the hand of Franklin, Frase." He revealed
softly. "It was a test, fer me, ta see if I could survive up here. I can
survive, Fraser, ya showed me how, I'm even startin' ta like it-cept for
da cold and I'll get used ta dat." Fraser shook his head, not
comprehending his friend's words and Ray stilled his confusion by placing
his hand on either side of Fraser's face. 
         "I...I don't understand, Ray." Fraser stated quietly and Ray
nodded. 
         "I know ya don't buddy, but you will." He patted Fraser's
shoulder then stepped back. "You will." Fraser watched him harness Dief
back in line then climb into the sled and cover himself with the blanket.
He glanced back at the still unmoving Mountie. "Pitter patter, Benton.
Daylight's waistin'." 
  

        "How much farther, Frase?" Ray asked as he and the Canadian built
their shelter for the night and spread the sleeping bags out under it next
to the fire Fraser had prepared, while the sled dogs snuggled against one
another for warmth and nearby Diefenbaker curled up next to the fire. They
had been headed for Fraser's Father's cabin, when they had received a
telegram from one of the locals announcing that Stella had wanted to talk
to Ray urgently. Worried for his ex-wife and child, Fraser and Ray had
headed back to civilization. Although, Ray had told his friend about his
impending fatherhood, Stella still had made no decision about the baby, so
Ray had not told Fraser that he might need help raising his daughter. 
         "We'll be there tomorrow, Ray." Fraser answered quietly. "Arnold
will meet us and fly us back too Chicago." Ray nodded, as he watched his
friend. The Mountie had become sullen and quiet after Ray received his
telegram, which Buck Frobisher had sent via one of his men to find the
trio and deliver. Whenever he asked Fraser if something was on his mind,
the Canadian was evasive and tight-lipped, but Ray was determined to find
out what was bothering the man before they returned to Chicago. 
         "Good." Ray replied as he lay back on his cloth bed under the
lean-to and watched Fraser start to strip his heavier outer layers. "So,
are ya gonna tell me what's been eatin' ya the past few days or what?" 
         "I don't know what you mean, Ray." Fraser evaded once again, not
looking at him, as he settled on his bed and unlaced his boots. 
         "You've been all quiet and moody-if I didn't know better I'd
think ya were pouting. Come on, Fraser, give up, what's wrong?" 
         "Nothing is wrong, Ray." 
        "Fraser, I swear if ya don't talk ta me I'll pop ya."  Ray
threatened frustrated. When Fraser didn't respond, Ray rose up on his
knees, leaned over and grabbed the Mounties's shoulders. "Tell me what is
wrong! Did I do somethin' ta piss ya off or what?" 
         "No, Ray." Fraser assured quietly. "You have done nothing wrong."

         "Then why ya actin' like ya lost yer best friend?" Ray demanded.
"Are ya missin' Vecchio? Are ya mad cause we're postponin our trip to da
cabin, what?" 
         "It's nothing, Ray." Fraser repeated as he moved away from him
and started to slide into his sleeping bag, turning his back to Ray. Ray
glared at him and rose to his feet. 
         "Fine, Fraser." He hissed angrily. "Don't tell me. I don't give a
shit anyway- I was just tryin' ta be yer friend, I thought we were buddies
but I guess I was wrong." He stomped off, away from the shelter and over
to where Dief lay curled by the fire. He dropped down and petted the wolf,
which leaned into his lap appreciatively; "At least you still like me,
Dief." He heard the rustling behind him of Fraser putting his boots back
on, then saw the shadow as the Canadian cast as he came to stand behind
him. 
         "I am not mad at you, Ray." Fraser sighed and settled next to him
as Ray stared into the fire. "And we are friends, please don't ever doubt
that." 
         "Friend's tell each other what's eatin' em Fraser." Ray insisted,
keeping his gaze on the flames before him. 
         "Ray I..." 
         "Unless yer gonna tell me what's buggin' ya, Fraser- don't bother
talkin' ta me." Ray warned. "Ya pissed me off now."  Fraser sighed and
stared into the fire as well. 
         "I...I'm not very good at this Ray." He muttered. 
         "Good at what Fraser?" Ray demanded. 'I tell you everything, why
can't you..." 
         "You don't tell me everything!" Fraser suddenly exclaimed rising
to his feet as Ray glanced at him surprised. "You didn't tell me you'd
be...." 
         "I'd be what?" Ray asked, also standing. 
         "You're going back to be with Stella." Fraser accused suddenly,
then blushed either in anger or embarrassment as Ray started at him
shocked. 
         "No I'm not!" he denied. "Stella's marryin' Vecchio-remember?"
Fraser stared at him confused. 
         "But you..you said she was having your child." He reminded.
"And..and the telegram, she wants you to come back to be with her, you
said something about a decision." 
         "Yah, but that's not me and her getting' back together, Fraser."
Ray implied calmly. "I realized me and Stella just ain't gonna work, no
matter what we feel." 
         "Then...then what is the decision?" 
         "I asked her before we left Chicago, months ago, if she was
intent on giving up the kid that she'd give it ta me. Maybe she decided
she will, or maybe her and Vecchio are gonna raise it-I dunno. That's why
she wanted me to come home." 
         "You...you were..are...might..." Fraser paused and cleared his
throat. "You'll raise the child alone?" 
         "I hope not!" Ray laughed. "I was countin' on yer bein' dere ta
help, buddy." 
         "Me? You want me to help you raise your child, Ray?" 
         "I wouldn't want anyone else, Frase." Ray assured with a grin. "I
figure we can make it work-figure it out as we go, ya know?" 
         "But...but Ray, wouldn't that involve...I mean, wouldn't it mean
we would have to...to live together?" 
         "Shit, we're together all the time now, Fraser-what's the
difference?" Fraser blushed. 
         "What..what about a mother for the child, Ray?" he asked quietly.
'You could get married again and..." 
         "The kid'll have plenty of female influence." Ray assured easily.
"But you and me would be its caregivers-we'd both be its dad." Fraser
stared at him, a look of confusion and hope in his eyes. "I...I know I
never asked ya before, Ben, but...well, I...I'd really like ya to be a
part of my family. I...I love ya man and I know it probably ain't what ya
were hopin fer but..." 
         "Ray!" 
         "What?" 
         "You called me, Ben!" 
         "Is that a problem?" 
         "No I...I just...Oh Ray!" Fraser was suddenly pulling him to him
in a warm embrace. "I...I never dreamed...I thought...." 
         "Complete a sentence, Fraser!" Ray laughed, slightly baffled by
his friend's sudden stammering. 
         "I love you as well, Ray." Fraser admitted and Ray felt a warm
glow fill his insides. "I never told you because...well you loved Stella
and I assumed only...well women were your interest. I never thought you
would...that is feel about me...I would be honored to help you raise your
child, Ray." 
         "Well, I don't know if that's Stell's decision yet, but I
appreciate yer willingness Frase." He grinned and placed his hands on
Fraser's shoulders. "I...I ain't da greatest catch, Frase. I know
dat-but..well, we don' t gotta do anything you don't want to. If you still
wanna, ya know,...with women, it's cool to-we'll figure it out somehow." 
         "Ray, have you ever...I mean..." 
         "With a guy? No, but I'll try anything once." Fraser blushed.
"Have you?" Fraser also shook his head and Ray grinned.   "We're a pair
aren't we?" The Mountie nodded shyly and Ray gave him a gentle hug. "No
pushin' needed, Frase. We'll play it by ear. Besides, I want to se how
things go with Stella before...we'll it's on my mind and I...when I..when
we're together I don't want anything between us-y'know?" 
         "Understood, Ray." Fraser agreed smiling, touched that the
detective wanted things to be perfect for them their first time. 
  

         Ray slid to a halt by the nurse's station, breathless and wide
eyed as he asked for the room of Stella Kowalski. He briefly remembered
that Fraser was behind him, as the nurse informed him where to go and he
took off down the hall. They had stepped off the plane and Francesca had
been waiting for them-Stella had gone into early labor and immediately Ray
worried something was wrong. He was ready to kill Francesca for driving
the speed limit all the way to the hospital-his need to see Stella was
okay driving him crazy. 
         "Stanley!" Ray Vecchio called out as Ray ran past the room he was
looking for in his haste. He grabbed the wall to stop himself and turned
around, offering the other detective a glare before hurrying into the
preparation room. Stella was on the bed, a nurse tending to her, she was
perspiring heavily and looked to be in pain, her feet were held high in
two stirrups, with a sheet covering her modestly. Her skin was flushed and
pale at the same time, her eyes watery and she was shaking slightly. 
         "Ray!" she breathed as she saw her ex-husband, reaching her hand
out to him with a shaky smile as Vecchio pulled a pale green gown over
Kowalski's clothing. Not that the blond noticed, he was smiling down at
his ex-wife and holding her hand. "I...I waited." She managed and he
nodded. 
         "I love you." He told her softly, leaning down to kiss her as the
doctor drifted in and informed them only one of the men could stay.
Kowalski had started to move away, but Stella held him and he felt a
reassuring pat from Vecchio on his shoulder, which was when he noticed his
new attire. 
         "Your kid, Stanley." Vecchio told him calmly as he bent to give
his fiancée a kiss. "You stay." 
         "Are...are you sure?" he asked Vecchio, grateful but confused. He
did want to stay, but on the other hand there would be a lot of...well, he
was getting nauseous at the thought. Vecchio pointed to a window above
them, where Francesca and Fraser stood watching. 
         "I'll be up there, Stella asked for an observation room so we
could all be a part of it-but yer the dad, so you stay here." Kowalski
nodded and waved at Fraser, who offered a thumbs up. 
         "Thanks Vecchio, yer not..." Ray placed another hand on his
shoulder. 
         "Before you say something we'll both regret I'm outta here."
Kowalski nodded and watched the man leave, then turned back to the mother
of his child. 
         "How ya doin' sweetheart?" 
         "I've been better, Ray." She teased as a contraction hit her.
Shit! Ray didn't now what to do. Vecchio had probably gone to those class
things with her for breathing and stuff, Kowalski didn't have a clue how
to help. 
         "W...what do I do, Stell?" he asked concerned and she could sense
the fear in his voice. 
         "Just help me breath." She managed as she settled again for a
moment and the Doctor said it was time. "K..keep me occupied and...don't
let go." Ray grinned, the vice grip she had on his hand would prevent any
thought of escape anyway. The doctor told her to push and she reared up to
do so, letting out a low cry of agony and frustration that this was taking
so long. 
         "I'm sorry." Ray found himself saying-he knew childbirth was
painful but he never realized how painful. She smiled weakly as he wiped
her brow with a cloth. 
         "Who's idea was this anyway?" she demanded wryly as another
contraction hit. After she settled once again, she glared up at him, but
Ray could see the teasing in her eyes. "You're gonna pay for this one
Kowalski!" He smiled and kissed her, then helped her push once more. 
  

        Fraser couldn't remove his eyes from the scene below, even though
he had seen a child being born before, had even delivered one himself, but
this was Ray's child and he was entranced at the way the blond was
interacting with his ex-wife. There was no room for jealously-this was a
special moment for them, though he did see Vecchio grimace a few times
when Kowalski smiled or made Stella laugh through her pain. 
         Kowalski had been her choice and Vecchio was content with that.
He would have Stella in the end and that was all that counted. He hadn't
been thrilled when Stella had told him she wanted Stanley there, but he
couldn't blame her-it was Kowalski's kid after all. However, he did notice
the rapt way Fraser was watching the scene and was sure he saw a few
flickers of jealousy in the Mountie's usually passive features, but he
must have imagined them. Why would Fraser be jealous-he didn't even care
much for Stella. Vecchio glanced at him again and a thought struck him.
No! He couldn't be? Was the Mountie in love with Stanley? That wasn't
possible! If Benny was like that he would know, he had been the Canadian's
partner much longer than this other kid had. If Benny was into guys it
would have shown, wouldn't it? Of course after that Metcalf chick, Ray
couldn't blame Fraser for switching sides, but still-Kowalski? He shook
his head, he had to be imagining it. 

         At 11:15pm, just three hours after Fraser and Kowalski returned
to Chicago, Rose Annabelle Kowalski was born. The nurse placed the girl in
Stella's waiting arms as Ray looked on proudly, tears shining in his eyes
as Stella counted her fingers and toes. 
         "She's beautiful." Ray managed, his emotions threatened to
strangle him but he didn't are. He had a daughter, a beautiful blond
haired-blue eyed perfectly wonderful daughter of his own. 
         "Would you like to hold her?" Stella asked him smiling and Ray
stared at her for a long time. 
         "I...I can't, Stella." He admitted quietly, surprising her.
"I...if I do I won't be able to give her back." Stella relaxed and smiled
again. 
         "You won't have to, Ray." She promised. "I've decided you will
take care of her, but I do want visitation." The shocked grateful look her
ex-husband gave her told her she had made the right decision, as she
placed the baby in his arms and watched Ray stare down at his daughter
adoringly. 
         "I love you." He whispered to the peaceful girl in his hands. "Oh
God yer beautiful, Rose Annabelle." Stella felt a tear slip down her cheek
as she studied them quietly. It had been a difficult decision, especially
after Vecchio had proposed to her and insisted they could raise the
child-but somehow she had to give this final gift to her Ray, to the man
she will always love and could never have. He deserved it, it felt right,
and perhaps her and Vecchio would have their own children later on. This
was something she was doing for Ray and Ray only, though she adored the
bundle that had been placed into her arms moments before and intended to
be a large part of her daughter's life, Rose would be cherished and loved
in Ray's care and that was important. 
         "Have you...did you and Fraser work out..." she tried to ask,
finally pulling Ray's attention away from his daughter as the nurse
stepped up to take the child. Ray handed Rose to the woman reluctantly,
pulling a smile from her, as he turned to address Stella. 
         "I think so." He finally told her. 
         "Do you love him, Ray?" 
         "Yah, Stella." He admitted shyly. "I really do. Ya disgusted or
freaked?" She laughed and pulled him down for warm hug. 
         "I'm glad you found someone, Ray." She whispered kissing his
cheek. She felt his body relax against her, as though he had been holding
his breath. "I'm sure you will both be wonderful parents for Rose." Ray
blinked back his tears and kissed Stella's lips softly, wistfully. 
         "Thank you Stella." He murmured. "For everything." 
  

         Fraser and Francesca had moved down to the waiting room when
Kowalski finally emerged, Vecchio had gone to visit with Stella. Ray threw
his arms around Francesca in delight. 
        "Did'ja see, Frannie!" he exclaimed as he spun her around and she
laughed. "I got a daughter! Did ya see her? Isn't she perfect? Isn't she
the most beautiful little girl ya ever saw? An' she came from my genes-is
that somethin'? I'm glad she looks like Stella an' not me." Francesca
laughed again, her pretend brother was talking a mile a minute, his eyes
flashing excitedly. 
         "Of course I saw." She smiled as he finally set her on her feet.
"And she is beautiful Ray- though I think she looks more like you than
Stella." 
         "Oh God! Don't say dat!" Ray chuckled, though his eyes shown
proudly at her words. "Poor kid!" Francesca hugged him again. 
         "My sentiments exactly. "Francesca teased and Ray pretended to
look hurt. 
         "Don't be mean, ya scamp." He warned with a smile. "I just had a
baby." 
         "Actually Stella just had a baby." She corrected wryly. 
         "We just had a baby den.' He emphasized as he met Fraser's quiet
gaze over Francesca's shoulder. "Go call yer ma and tell her." Francesca's
hand flew to her mouth. 
         "I almost forgot!" she squealed. "They'll be waintin' by the
phone." She hurried off and Ray rested his gaze on Fraser. 
         "Come with me, Frase." He asked quietly and Fraser followed,
sensing something was wrong. Perhaps Ray decided he was going to stay and
try and win back Stella's affections. Perhaps Stella had decided to keep
the child for her and Ray Vecchio to raise and Ray was needing to vent. A
million different worse case scenarios floated through the Mountie's head
as he followed his friend and partner down the corridor to an empty
waiting room. He hadn't considered that Ray might change his mind once
back in Chicago and perhaps the detective decided he wanted to stay here
to be close to his daughter and ex-wife. 
         Fraser was shocked when the door closed behind them and Ray
pushed him against it aggressively as he pressed his lips to the Canadians
in a fierce kiss. After only a moment's hesitation Fraser returned the
kiss, wrapping his arms around the American, pulling him tight against him
as Ray's tongue explored his mouth feverishly. This was what he had wanted
for so long, what he had dreamed of and now he had it. Ray's lips were
soft and tasted of chocolate and peppermint gum, an intoxicating
combination for Fraser. When they finally broke apart they were both
panting for breath and wore startled expressions at their unleashed
passion. 
         "We got her, Ben." Ray whispered as he folded his arms tighter
around the Mountie and rested his face against a strong, broad shoulder.
"Rose is ours." Fraser squeezed his partner affectionately, knowing how
much it had meant to the detective to get custody of his daughter. 
         "I'm very happy for you, Ray." He offered softly and Ray puled
back to meet his gaze. 
         "Fer us, Ben." He corrected. "She's ours-yers and mine." Fraser
flushed as a feeling of happiness and pride flooded him. Ray still wanted
him, he and Ray were going to be a family. He pressed his lips to Ray's
once more eagerly, words failing him as he sought to convey his feelings.
After a few minutes Ray broke the kiss and stepped back, flushed and
grinning. "Yer gonna get us arrested dere, Ben." He teased as he threw an
arm around his friend and now lover. "Let me go introduce ya to our
daughter, Benton love." 
  

         "Ray? Ray. Ray. Ray!" Fraser finally shook the detective awake
with a heavy reluctance. He knew his partner had been up most of the night
with their new four-month-old baby girl and would be exhausted, but Fraser
had to get to work. 
         "Wa...Ben?" Kowalski muttered sleepily, burying his head deeper
into the pillow, as Fraser settled on the bed beside him, already dressed
in his red serge. 
         "Ray? I have to go to work." He informed, as Ray finally managed
the energy to roll over and stare up at him. Dark circles shadowed his
usually vibrant eyes. "I've already fed Rose, she is in her swing. I'll be
home around five thirty." Ray nodded and struggled into a sitting position
as Fraser handed him the cup of coffee he had prepared, knowing Ray could
not fully wake up without his caffeine fix. 
         " 'Kay, Fraser." He murmured sleepily taking a few quick gulps of
the hot liquid then wincing when it burned his tongue and throat going
down. He released a jaw-cracking yawn then shook his head a few times to
clear the fuzziness from his brain. "Be careful wit dem mad trapper's now,
buddy." Fraser offered him a small smile and gently leaned in to give him
a quick kiss, having no time for anything more. 
         "I really wish you would reconsider hiring one of the women in
the village, Ray." He sighed, gently caressing the tired lines creasing
the usually exhaustless face of the energetic blond. "You are exhausted
and..." Ray shook his head, even as he turned into Fraser's touch, then
set his cup on the night stand and threw the covers back. 
         "My...our kid, Ben." He amended. "We're doin' okay-it'll get
better. She'll start sleepin' through the night soon and..." 
         "Ray, you have been saying that since we moved back here." Fraser
reminded as his partner rose and pulled a clean T-shirt from his dresser
drawer, to pull on. 
         "She's still settlin' in, Frase." Ray protested. "Y'know getting
the feel for things." Fraser shook his head and the former detective's
stubbornness as they headed out into the living room. 
         "One more week, Ray." He decided as he pulled on his long blue
coat and Stetson. "If Rose still isn't...settled by then we hire some
help, agreed?" 
     "Yer gonna be late fer work if ya don't go now, Fraser." Ray evaded
as he bent to check on their wide-eyed daughter, full of  her father's
spirit and unfortunately his energy as well. "We'll talk about it later."
Fraser scowled. 
         "Ray..." he began, but his partner just walked up, gave him a
quick peck on the cheek then gave him a gentle push toward the door. 
         "Get outta here, Blue Eyes-can't be late." Fraser sighed and
again shook his head. 
         "I will see you around supper time, Ray." He said as he opened
the door and let the arctic air blow inside. 
         "Sure." Ray agreed and Fraser closed the door. He could walk to
work, he always did, and it was one of the nice things about their new
home. It was close to the consulate, but far enough from the rest of the
village to afford them some privacy. It was perfect for them with room to
spare should they decide they needed it and it was rent free, since it set
on the RCMP office property, a perk offered with Fraser's position. 
          It was much larger than Fraser's cabin further north, which had
been to far a distance to travel daily and would have meant he would have
had to spend long hours away from the man he loved. So, they had moved to
a more suburban area of the territories, though nothing close to
Chicago-it had a general store, a few clothing and trading posts, a small
movie house and of course the RCMP office where Fraser was stationed as
Inspector for the surrounding areas. It also a great view  of the
mountains from their living room window. 
          Fraser had only gone a few steps when the door opened again and
he turned back, to see Ray hurrying toward him, having only pulled on his
boots to trudge down the path,  still quite slippery from fresh snow fall.

         "Yes, Ray?" he asked curious and was surprised when the American
wrapped his arms around him in a brief hug and kissed him full on the
mouth. 
         "Love Ya, Ben." He murmured shyly and Fraser kissed him back. 
         "And I you, Ray." He returned. "Now go back inside before you
catch your death." Ray nodded, already hugging himself in the freezing
temperatures. Fraser watched until he had made it safely inside without
slipping, then headed back down the hillside. 

         Fraser stepped into the house a little after four, having
finished his work early enough that he could take the extra time off. He
had picked up some steaks at the village for supper, as a treat for Ray,
and he set them on the counter by the stovetop in the kitchen, after
removing his hat, coat and boots. Ray was asleep on the large area rug,
his arm curled protectively around Rose, who was making her best effort to
scoot out from under his grip and get into mischief. She looked up at
Fraser wide eyes and alert and offered him a sly smile that said, darn it,
foiled again. Fraser tsked and plucked her  from th floor and into his
arms, careful not to wake Ray, automatically checking to see if she needed
to be changed. She was dry so he set her in her swing. 
         "Have you kept your Daddy busy all day, Miss Rose?" he scolded
gently as he wound the toy and Rose kicked and clapped her hands
delighted. 
         Fraser plopped some of her toys on the tray beneath her arms for
her to amuse herself with, then headed for the bedroom. He quickly changed
into jeans and a sweater then pulled the covers back, surprised that Ray
had found time to make the bed, which he usually didn't do. He returned to
the living room and Rose squealed at the sight of him. 
         "Ssshhh." He whispered gently with a finger to his lips. "Lets
not wake him up." Rose shoved a toy rattle into her mouth in happy
compliance as Fraser carefully pulled Ray into his arms, distressed to
find that the blond had at some point lost weight, something he couldn't
really afford to do. Grateful that his lover was a sound sleeper, he
carried Ray into the bedroom and settled him on the bed, then gently
pulled the covers over him. He wanted nothing better then to climb into
the bed with him, but Ray needed to rest, so he returned to the kitchen to
set the steaks in a marinade. 
         He still couldn't believe he and Ray were a couple, the very idea
that he would fall so deeply in love with another man had originally
scared Fraser witless-chalking it up to loneliness and the disaster that
was Victoria Metcalf. He shivered slightly-that would probably turn any
man off women, he thought bitterly, but he realized what he felt for the
blond detective that had become his partner in Vecchio's absence, was more
than just the need to feel love for someone or his own terrible
loneliness. He realized how much he was in love with Ray during the case
on the Robert Mackenzie and had been dealing with it privately until the
Real Ray Vecchio showed up and all hell broke loose. He had been a mess
between tracking down Muldoon, trying to contain both his joy at Vecchio's
return and his grief when, Muldoon had shot Vecchio. The rage that
threatened to consume him when he realized Muldoon had killed his mother
and then the fear and anxiety that he witnessed in Ray Kowalski's eyes
whenever he glanced his way. 
         He still remembered how uncertain Ray looked outside Vecchio's
hospital door, when he asked Fraser if they were still partners. When
Fraser had said if he would have him, he hadn't meant just as a partner or
as a friend, he meant forever as his life mate-and somehow, he suspected
Kowalski understood that, for after only a brief hesitation he had nodded
and they had gone to track down Muldoon. Later Ray had tried to talk to
him, but Thatcher had interrupted and Fraser had been pressed hard not to
show his annoyance at the woman's ill timing. Ray had been about to say
something important, but as was the way of the nonchalant detective he
made a joke at Thatcher's presence. Things had gone too fast from there to
discuss anything further. 
         It wasn't until many weeks later, when they had been searching
for the Hand of Franklin that another opportunity to tell Ray how he felt
came up. Granted they had been alone for weeks, just them, the dogs and
the Great Canadian wildness, but Fraser had been busy keeping Ray from
injury, teaching him survival skills that the man would need out here, and
they were both exhausted when it came time to sleep. Although the excited
charge of energy that was Ray Kowalski never seemed to dim in the
American's steel blue eyes, Fraser knew the detective was not coping well
with his environment and when Fraser suggested they head toward his
Father's cabin for a rest, Ray had refused adamantly. He wanted to finish
their quest, was intent on it and would not stop for anything. 
         But, of course, he later found out that the Ray had been on a
different quest, one for himself only, to see if he could stand the
Canadian wilderness. It was Ray's way of understanding Fraser's home and
deciding if he could stay there with his partner and the man he had grown
to love. Now, he had Ray and they had Rose, a delightfully adorable child
that seemed to exude the same energy as the detective that was her father.
Fraser sighed again, he couldn't be happier. 
         Well, actually that was a lie, and he shouldn't lie to himself.
He suspected Ray felt restless at not working any longer, and was
therefore taking his role of father entirely too seriously. It was almost
as if Ray figured that since Fraser was bringing home the bacon, he should
keep the house and the child, but Ray is a man, just like Fraser, and not
the most patient and domesticated of people in any circumstances. He was
trying very hard, Fraser could see that, but he was afraid the blond was
over doing it and set for burn out. 
         There was also the fact he and Ray had never even officially
consummated their relationship, deciding to take it slow at first, then
when Rose came, the detective never seemed to have a spare moment for the
Mountie. Fraser hated to bother him when he did get to bed, because he
always looked so damned tired, and so he just suffered in silence and
tried to be patient, but even the most patient of men have their limits. 
         He was going to fix steak dinners for them, his sister Maggie had
offered to come and take Rose for the night, when he had spoke to her
about it at the Consulate this after noon. They both needed a break and
Maggie adored Rose, so he hoped ray wouldn't be to upset that Fraser had
taken the liberty to arrange a baby sitter. He glanced at the clock and
scowled. He was spending too much time day dreaming, Maggie would be here
soon and he had dinner to prepare. 
  

        Ray awoke entirely too warm and kicked back the heavy quilted
coverlet and sat up to remove his sweater with relief, smoothing his
T-shirt back down over his torso. How had he gotten into bed? He'd been
playing with Rose Bud and....Rose! He bolted from the bedroom and hurried
into the outer room to find Fraser just setting the table. 
         "Good evening, Ray." He offered mildly. "Did you have a good
nap?" Ray glanced around frantically, searching for his daughter. 
         "Where's Rose?" he demanded, ignoring Fraser's question. 
         "Maggie came by and took her to stay for the evening." The
Mountie informed calmly as he returned to the stove and checked the
simmering vegetables. Ray stared at him in shock. 
         "Why'd ya give her to Maggie?" he questioned anxiously. "I coulda
taken care of her Ben, she's..." 
         "I thought we deserved some time alone, Ray." Fraser stated
quietly. "And Maggie wanted to spend time with her, I didn't think you
would mind." Ray caught himself, knowing he was getting upset over
nothing. So, okay, Rose was on a sleep over at Maggie's. 
         "But what if she runs out of formula?" Ray asked him. "What if
Rose wakes up in the middle of the night and gets scared? What if...."
Fraser walked over to him and placed his hands on Ray's shoulders. 
         "Ray, Maggie has everything she needs and whatever problems might
occur she can deal with it, I assure you." Ray's shoulder's slumped
dejectedly. 
         "I..I know yer right, Frase, I just..." he shook his head. "I
dunno." He started to move away but Fraser tightened his grip, willing him
to meet his eyes, which ray finally was bound to do. 
         "Talk to me, Ray." He requested gently. "Tell me what is going
on?" Ray shook his head. "Are you...are you having second thoughts
about...about us, Ray? Have...have I done something wrong?" Ray's eyes
widened and he shook his head adamantly. 
         "No, buddy, yer great. Da best, really." 
         "Then what is wrong, Ray?" the Mountie demanded, finally allowing
Ray to move toward the living room and drop onto the sofa, his head in his
hands. 
         "Nothin's wrong, Ben." He said quietly. "I...I just gotta get a
system, y'know a rhythm...a...plan of action to handle things better. I
can do dis I can, really." 
         "Ray, why don't we just hire..." Fraser started and was cut off
by the blazing fury in his partner's eyes. 
        "I can take care a my own kid, Fraser!" he snapped, then lowered
his eyes from the Mounties's hurt expression. When he spoke again, Fraser
had to strain to hear him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I did not mean that."
Fraser settled beside him and placed a hand on his arm. 
         "Tell me what you did mean, Ray." He asked. "Please, talk to me."

         "I...I just...I can do it, Ben." He insisted. "I'm not so
incompetent...I can be a good dad to Rose." 
         "Of course you will be a good father, Ray." Fraser assured him
softly. "You already are a wonderful father." Ray finally raised his eyes
to stare at him. "But no one can do everything, Ray. We need help. You are
exhausted, you're loosing weight and you won't let me help hardly at all."

         "I...I know I just..." Ray sighed, fighting to find the words to
express himself. "I don't wanna put pressure on you, Ben." 
         "Pressure, Ray?" Fraser asked puzzled. "In what way?" 
         "I...I don't want ya getting'...y'know, fed up wit us." Ray
explained quietly. 
         "Us, Ray?" 
         "Me an' Rose." He supplied. "I know she cries a lot, but my mum
said I did too until I was almost a year old, she'll grow out of it. I'm
tryin' really hard ta keep her happy and occupied so she won't bother ya
but...." 
         "Ray. Ray. Ray!" Fraser exclaimed and finally the detective
stopped talking and looked at him. 
         "What?" 
         "I don't mind Rose crying, Ray." He insisted. "She is a baby, she
is going to cry, it doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that you don't
trust me enough to help you take care of her." Ray shook his head. 
         "No!" he denied. "No, I trust ya buddy, of course I do, but..." 
         "There is no but, Ray." Fraser decided firmly. "You asked me to
help you raise your daughter..." 
         "Our daughter." Ray interceded. 
         "Our daughter." Fraser agreed. "But you won't let me get up with
her in the night time and I am not here in the day until..." 
         "You have to work, Fraser." Ray reminded. "I don't. You shouldn't
have to..." Fraser cut him off. 
         "Ray! You are exhausted and you are not going to help Rose if you
make yourself sick. You haven't had a full night's sleep since we got here
and neither have I really because I wake up every time you get up..." 
         "I'll sleep in da other room den." He offered quickly and watched
Fraser's expression grow angry. 
         "No, Ray." He refused. "I don't want you to sleep in the other
room I want you to sleep in our room, in our bed, with me." He pulled Ray
hard against him, surprising the wirery American. "I want you in our bed,
Ray, it's where you belong." He lowered his head and claimed Ray's mouth
in a fury of hunger that would no longer be contained and left them both
gasping. 
         "Ben!" Ray rasped when the Mountie had finally let him breath,
but only to turn his attentions to Ray's sensitive neck. "Ahhh! Oh God,
Ben!" 
         "Tell me now, Ray." Fraser demanded as he suckled the lower lobe
of Ray's ear. "If you want to stop. If you don't feel...the same about me
anymore, if you don't want this, tell me now, Ray." Ray shook his head,
his partner's tongue was wreaking havoc on his nervous system and he was
having trouble piecing coherent thought together. 
         "I...Don't stop." He managed as Fraser practically tore off his
T-shirt and started licking and nipping his chest. "Just...want
you...Ben." The words spurned the Mountie into action and somehow Ray's
shirt was suddenly off and Fraser was practically lying atop him on the
large sofa. Their bodies pressed sweetly together creating an intense
friction that was driving Kowalski crazy, as he once more claimed Ray's
mouth, his tongue exploring every inch of the moist heat offered to him,
leaving Ray breathless once more. Ray's hands wound up raking through the
Mounties's thick raven locks as he writhed under his lover's weight.
Fraser's hand managed to unsnap his jeans and before Ray could blink the
Mountie had enveloped the warm, hard flesh that waited inside. Ray's hips
bucked toward that searching hand as Fraser continued the assault on his
mouth. 
         He didn't know what had happened to his stoic, restrained partner
and he didn't care, he had never been so turned on before in his life,
especially with another man doing the turning. But this wasn't just
another man this was Fraser and Fraser was more than just a mere man, he
was an entity that Ray had formed in his mind-a power of good and
righteousness that made all other mere humans pale in comparison. So he
was a bit of a freak, that was allowed, Ray was a bit of a freak himself.
Suddenly Fraser pushed off of him and sat up, running an unsteady hand
through his hair and Ray blinked disoriented, and already missing the
warmth and pressure the other man had been providing. 
         "Christ Fraser!" he gasped as he struggled to get the oxygen
flowing through his brain again. "What da hell was dat?" He couldn't
resist teasing the usually shy Mountie but Fraser remained silent, his
eyes lowered. "W..what's wrong?" 
        "I...forgive me, Ray." Fraser murmured. "That...my behaviour is
inexcusable." Ray stared at him in shock. Ray managed to compose himself
and get his bearings as he regarded the brooding Canadian. 
         "What? What da hell are ya talkin' about, Fraser?" he demanded,
moving to place a hand on Fraser's shoulder and watching his partner
flinch and move away to stand by the picture window. 
         "I...I shouldn't have..." Fraser began tightly, his expression
closed even as he stared out at the darkening sky. "You...you wanted to go
slow and I...I should not have...you're tired Ray and..." Ray rose and
moved to stand behind his friend and lover, ignoring Fraser's stiffening
spine as he snaked his arms around him and rested his cheek against a
broad shoulder blade. 
         "I ain't dat tired, Ben." He sighed. "Yah, I wanted ta go slow,
ya know just fool around a little until...well, I didn't want to push you,
Buddy." Fraser said nothing. "You said you never been with a guy Ben and
neither have I, but I got an idea what it involves and da...well da
mechanics of it. I didn't wanna scare ya away Ben." Fraser continued to
stare out the window unmoving and silent. Ray squeezed him a little
tighter, perhaps more for his own sake then for Fraser's, he need courage
to say what was on his mind. "I...I didn't realize ya wanted....more,
buddy. Ya never told me or showed dat ya were...y'know, frustrated. I been
achin' too buddy but I just...kept it to myself." Finally Fraser turned in
his arms, his expression grim. 
         "That does not excuse my actions, Ray." He insisted stubbornly.
"I just finished telling you how tired you were and that you were going to
make yourself sick and then I turn around and try to force my intentions
on you." Ray shook his head. 
         "Ya weren't forcin' Ben." He assured quickly. "Did ya hear me
complainin'?" 
         "I didn't give you a chance to, Ray." Fraser reminded determined
and Ray raised his hands to cup the Mounties's face, forcing him to meet
his gaze. 
         "Look at me, Fraser." He demanded when his lover lowered his eyes
once more. "Ben please?'" Fraser raised his eyes reluctantly. "Don't...do
not do dis. Don't blame yerself fer bein' human like da rest of us, okay?'
Fraser blinked but said nothing. "We should've done dis months ago, buddy
an' I'm real sorry I got caught up in Rose and everything." Fraser shook
his head. 
         "I should have waited, Ray." He protested. "You have been under a
lot of stress, there has been a lot of changes in your life recently;
Stella marrying Ray Vecchio, the move to Canada, a new baby,
unemployment..." 
         "Fallin' in love wit a guy." Ray teased trying to pull a smile
from his friend. "Getting' frost bit in place's I didn't know I had,
forced ta eat Moose burgers,  bein' da only other white guy in da whole
village, da neighbors thinkin' I'm an albino freak, no Twinkies..."
Fraser's lips twitched but he pressed them to keep the smile from forming.

         "Ray, I am serious." He stated firmly and Ray's eyes grew solemn 
         "I know." He agreed. "Very." 
         "Ray ..." Fraser scolded and Ray immediately interrupted. 
         "Dat's me." 
         "You don't..." 
         "Sure I do." 
         "Will you let me finish, please?" 
         "Nope." Ray refused with a grin. "Cause I know yer just gonna
spout more nonsense about waitin' and your unforgivable behavior and all
dat stuff." Ray's eyes twinkled merrily. "We're guy's Frase-neither of us
are virgins, we've had sex before-it's no big thing." He glanced down at
the bulge in Fraser's jeans. "Hmm, let me rephrase dat, could be
big...could be very..." 
          "Ray!" Fraser exclaimed and flushed, causing Ray to chuckle. Oh,
now he gets shy again. 
         "Don't think so much, Ben." He warned as he trailed hot, moist
kisses down Fraser's throat. "Go wit da flow." Fraser inhaled sharply. 
         "Ray, please!" he exclaimed, he was trying to talk sense to the
other man, trying to apologize for his behavior and Ray wasn't letting
him. Instead he seemed bent on seducing him, which in itself should be
something Fraser would welcome, but his guilt wouldn't allow it. Ray was
tired, he wasn't eating right, he...he...he was driving Fraser crazy with
those talented lips. 
         "Ya don't gotta, beg, buddy." Ray teased. "I'm all over dat." Ray
licked his ear and Fraser started. "All over you." 
         "Ray I am trying to apologize..." Fraser began again even as
Ray's body pressed up against him, creating some of their earlier
friction. 
         "So ya lost control." He replied as he continued to taste Fraser,
while his hands roamed the Mounties's hard body. "Happens ta da best of
us. I kinda liked it-made me know ya really wanted me." Fraser's composure
was slipping rapidly as Ray's hand rubbed against his arousal through the
tight denim. 
         "I...I do want you, Ray." He admitted, surprised to find his
entire body was trembling with excitement at what the blond was doing to
him, envisioning what the blond would do to him if this continued. "I...I
just..." 
         "Just love me, Ben." Ray demanded huskily as he claimed Fraser's
mouth, then grabbed his hand and guided him to their bedroom. Both men had
their clothes off in record time and were soon laying under the cool
sheets of the bed. Ray was paying tender homage to Fraser's body, leaving
trails of fire everywhere his mouth connected with the Canadian's flushed
skin. "Mmmm, so beautiful, Ben love." He paused as he saw a tear slip from
Fraser's eye and roll down his cheek. "Don't!" Ray scolded gently catching
the tear with his mouth then pressing his lips to Fraser's to share the
salty taste. "Don't be sad, baby-never be sad." 
         "I..I'm not sad, Ray." Fraser managed as another tear escape,
closing his moist eyes as Ray caught that one as well. "I..I just cannot
believe..." He couldn't believe he had finally found love, true love. That
someone could love him, completely for who he was, though he could not
find the words to express these feelings to Ray, to explain why he was
crying. His lover didn't need an explanation it seemed, for he smiled and
lowered his mouth to Fraser's once more. Everything he needed to say,
everything he needed to hear was in that one fantastic kiss and Fraser was
grateful beyond comprehension as he turned into his lover's arms. 
         "Can I ask ya somethin' Benton?' Ray inquired softly and Fraser
nodded. "Will ya marry me, love?" Fraser's eyes widened and then more
tears came. 
         "If you'll have me." He managed, his throat almost swollen shut
with the tide of emotions rushing through him. Ray smiled and pulled him
into his arms again. 
         "Always, Frase-buddies and partners forever." 
  

        Ray awoke to Rose's cries and automatically moved as quietly as he
could from the bed, trying not to waken the sleeping Mountie beside him.
they had made love until the wee hours last night and since it was
Saturday, they had both decided to take another nap once Maggie had
returned Rose to them earlier that morning. Ray pulled on his robe to
cover his nakedness and headd for the nursery. Rose was screaming now, as
he plucked her from her crib. He checked her diaper, but she didn't need
to be changed, tried to get her to eat, but she didn't want that either,
so he tried to dance her to sleep as he had been doing. She continued to
scream and cry and he started to worry she would wake Fraser, but also
because this was not normal for the little girl. Usually she went right
back to sleep when Ray danced her around the room in his arms, but this
time something was wrong. He touched her face and was surprised to find
her so hot. 
        "What is it, Ray?' Fraser asked suddenly appearing in the doorway,
also dressed in his robe. 
        "I think she's runnin' a fever, Ben." Ray frowned as his lover
approached and inspected their daughter, also placing a cool hand to her
face. 
        "I'll get the children'd tylonel, Ray." he offered. "Maggie
brought some by and said it was good for a fever." Ray nodded and
continued to try and placitate his little girl. 
        "Shhush, Rose Bud." he cooed gently. "Yer gonna be okay. Yer
daddy's here, both of us. Hush darlin'." Com'ahn Fraser-how long did it
take to walk to the bathroom? Suddenly Rose stopped crying and Ray almost
smiled, feeling her lean closer into the warmth of his body. His smile
slipped away though as he realized that she was no longer moving at all
and he quickly pulled her forward. 
        "Ray I can't..." Fraser began, then stopped at the stricken look
on his lover's face. 
        "She's not breathin' Fraser!" he cried as he jostled the baby in
an attempt to snap her out of it. "Fraser make her breathe!" Fraser
carefully pried Ray;s trembling hands away from the girl's body and set
her on the changing table, she was already turning blue, as he began CPR.
"You'll hurt her!" Ray exclaimed as Fraser breathed tiny breaths of air
into the childs mouth and using only three fingers gently pushed downward
on her front. "She's too liitle, you can't..." Ray was getting hysterical
and Fraser had to push him away to keep the CPR going. 
        "I know what I am doing, Ray." he assured as Ray stared at the
scene in horror. Oh God! Please don't take our baby away! Please don't let
Rose die, he thought over and over. Just when he thought there was no hope
for the infant, Rose let out a startling cry that grew louder and louder
as she gained her strength back. Fraser was still bent over her, but his
shoulders were shaking with relief as he lifted her into his arms. 
        "Thank God!" Ray prayed gratefully as he wrapped both of them in
his embrace, wiping away the tears on Fraser's face. "Thank you, Ben.
Thank you for saving our daughter." Fraser could only lean into his
partner as they held Rose between them, the idea that they had almost lost
her was mind numbing. 
        "I..I couldn't find the Tylonol Ray." he finally managed to
whisper. "P..perhaps we should all the doctor?" Ray nodded and moved away
to make the call. 
        The doctor arrived a short time later and examined Rose
thouroughly. He pronounced her fit, but for her fever, which was common
among children. Ray told him about her non-breething eppisode and the
doctor tried to asured him that that too was common among babies, which
was why it was important to keep an eye on them until the reached a
certain age. 
        Fraser and Ray thanked the doctor, accepted some mediine for
Rose's fever then in a joint effort they decided to move their daughters
crib into their room, just in case, where it would remain under the
watchful eyes and ears of the men who loved her, for the next few weeks. 
  

         "Fraser!" Ray called out from the kitchen. "Food, com'ahn or
we'll be late!" The Mountie walked out of the bedroom, dressed in his
civilian clothes and offered Ray a hearty kiss, as his lover placed a
plate of pancakes before him on the table. Fraser couldn't help admire the
thin silver and turquoise band that now adorned Ray's left ring finger and
automatically he fingered the matching band on his own hand. 
         They had found a tribal elder to perform a marriage ceremony for
them, though it was not legal in Canada for same sex marriages, it was
very much real to himself and Ray. The people in the village considered
them married, even the officers Fraser worked for accepted Ray's status as
his spouse, only a few prejudiced ones did they run into and those people
did not matter to them. Buck Frobisher and his sister Maggie were their
witnesses and Mrs. Blackfeather had even arranged a small reception for
them afterwards. It was still hard to believe at times that he was
married, in their hearts, in their minds and to those around them, Ray and
Fraser were a couple. 
         "Thank you kindly, Ray." He finally returned politely as Ray
pulled Rose closer to the table in her high chair, then set his own plate
on the table. He fed the girl cereal in between bites of his own
breakfast. 
         "Have you packed everything, Ray?' Fraser asked eating quickly,
they did have to hurry. 
         "Everything ya told me to, Frase." Ray promised as he too
finished his plate, then took a moment to play airplane with the last few
bites of Rose's cereal. She giggled delighted and slapped her hands
together as he used a moist cloth to wash her face and hands, which
despite his efforts were still covered in the soft food. "Who's a good
girl?" he smiled at her and she puckered her lips toward him, blowing him
a kiss, as a knocking came at their door. 
         "Come along, Rose." Fraser offered plucking her from her chair,
as Ray put their dishes in the sink. "Time to say bye bye." He balanced
her in his arms, smiling as she immediately curled her fingers into his
thick hair, as he walked over to answer the door. 
         "There's my girl!" exclaimed a small, round Inuit woman, holding
out her arms for Rose. 
         "Hello, Mrs. Blackfeather." Fraser greeted the older woman warmly
and closed the door as Ray came over with their knapsacks and parka's. "We
should be back by Sunday at the latest." 
         "Sooner if we catch da guy we're after before Friday." Ray
offered giving the older woman an affectionate peck on the cheek. "Rose
had her breakfast already an' she's got a bit of an inner ear infection
but da medicine's by her crib." 
         "Two drops, twice a day, Mrs. Blackfeather." Fraser informed
dutifully and the woman nodded, issuing them out the door. 
         "We'll be fine. Be off with you." She insisted as each man gave
his daughter a good bye kiss, Ray lingering longer because it was always
harder for him to leave her. Fraser hated to go a week or more without
Rose, but they had a job to do; the sooner it got done the sooner they
returned. 
         Buck Frobisher had managed to get a work visa for Ray and signed
him up, unofficially, to be Fraser's partner whenever they had a fugitive
to hunt down. Ray was eager for the chance to work with Fraser again and
enjoyed the excitement of the hunt once more, though he had no real
jurisdiction here, the American was considered a great asset to the RCMP.
Buck had even managed to push through the legalities to allow Ray to carry
and use a firearm, which made things even better because now that they
were back in Canada, Fraser could use his weapon as well, when needed. The
only down side was their time away from Rose, but Belinda Blackfeather had
become a good friend and part time nanny for the child, so the men felt
better about leaving her for long periods. 
  

         Fraser added more wood to the fire and glanced back at his
partner, who was once again scribbling away in the little notebook he
carried with him. He hadn't wanted to invade Ray's privacy, but he had
been watching the detective work in the book for a few months now and he
couldn't help but be curious. Finally he asked, as he settled back on
their bedroll, where Ray was seated by the fire. 
         "May I ask what you are writing, Ray?" he inquired curious and
was surprised when the detective stopped writing and handed the book to
him. Fraser looked to him for approval and Ray nodded encouragingly, so he
flipped through the pages that detailed their adventure on the Henry
Allen. 
         "I know dere's stuff I've forgot, but I figured you'd remember
and I can fill it I later." Ray stated eagerly watching Fraser closely.
"What'd ya think? I'm gonna make us a scrap book for when Rose Bud gets
older." 
         "I think it's a wonderful idea, Ray." Fraser assured impressed.
"And I would be happy to help you with it." He continued to read,
occasionally chuckling at some of the passages. He was amazed at how well
Ray had managed to capture the scenes and the majority of the dialogue,
the humor and suspense made Fraser relieve it all over again. Finally he
handed the book back to his partner. 
         "I figure I can get yer scope on it den it will kinda have two
perspectives, y'know?" Ray commented as Dief settled at his feet and he
reached down to scratch him behind his ears. 
         "Your writing style is extraordinary, Ray." Fraser offered
sincerely. "I never knew you could write so..well believably. I feel as
though I lived it through your words." Ray chuckled and gave him a playful
shove. 
         "Ya were dere, ya dope!" he reminded and Fraser smiled, as Ray
continued sheepishly. "Besides, I always kept, y'know a journal, so a lot
of it was in dere and I just had ta go back to it." 
         "I never knew you kept a journal, Ray." Fraser said softly,
thinking of his Father's journals, who had kept one every day of his adult
life. "When did you start?" Ray shrugged. 
         "I was eight I think," he recalled with a shrug. "I had a rotten
memory, so Mum suggested I start writin things down to help me remember,
well, that turned into me wantin' to remember all da cool things happened
to me when I was a kid. A notebook turned into a book, a book into a few
books. My Mum gave me a journal every year fer Christmas after." Fraser
nodded. 
         "Do you still have them all?" Ray shrugged and poked at the fire
with a stick. 
         "I don't know if Mum kept da ones I had when I was younger, cause
I had em stored in a box at our old house, or she tossed 'em when they
bought dat trailer." Fraser frowned disappointed, he would have like to
read them, if Ray had permitted it, to see how Ray was as a child. "I've
got some in a box at our house, don't know which ones I kept and which
ones I tossed, when Stella an' me split." 
         "Would...perhaps I could..." Fraser hesitated. Granted they were
lovers, but that didn't give him to read Ray's most private thoughts,
although he had shared his Father's journals with the detective. They had
gotten into a routine of when they had some quiet time before bed, Fraser
would read from them and Ray would listen quietly. The blond seemed to
enjoy the stories, or perhaps he merely liked listening to Fraser's voice,
it didn't mater, it was something personal they shared together.  Besides,
they weren't Fraser's journals, they were his Father's, Fraser didn't keep
a journal, and he remembered everything anyway so did not see the need. 
         "Ya wanna read 'em Frase?' Ray asked and Fraser realized he had
been lost in thought and never finished speaking. 
         "I don't want to intrude, Ray." He countered and again there was
that wonderful smile that had won Fraser's heart from the first day. He
did want to read them, he wanted to know everything he could about the man
he loved, as strange as that seemed to him. 
         "I don't mind."  Ray replied easily. "I'll dig em out when we get
back." 
         "I would be honored to read them then, Ray." Fraser smiled.
"Thank you kindly." 
         "I'm ready fer bed." Ray decided with a jaw-cracking yawn. "We
got an early start tomorrow." 
         "It is barely seven Ray." Fraser protested, usually the detective
preferred to be awake longer. "We still have plenty of time to..." Ray
leaned into him with a gentle kiss, silencing his protests. 
         "I said I was ready fer bed, Ben" he reminded. "Never said
anythin' about goin' ta sleep, buddy." Fraser blushed but gave him a wide
smile as well and pulled the man into his arms. 
         "Right you are, Ray." He agreed before claiming his lover's
mouth. 
  

         "Hmmm." Fraser sighed as he watched his lover put the finishing
touches on the birthday cake he had made for Maggie Mackenzie, who would
be arriving later in the evening for dinner. Stanley Raymond Kowalski had
become quite good at baking since they had returned to Canada, but then
his craving for sweets had demanded it since he could find few of the
confections he used to live on in Chicago. His sister Maggie only lived
two villages away and they had invited her for dinner, Fraser would cook
and Ray would prepare the desert. 
         "Yer doin' dat hmm thing again, Ben." Ray warned as he looked
away from the cake he was decorating and glared at  the Mountie. "Now, we
agreed ya either gotta tell me what dat means or get me one of dem
Canadian dictionaries that'll show what all Hmmm's mean." Fraser smiled
and stood to wrap his arms around Ray affectionately. 
         "That's just silly, Ray." He replied calmly. "There is no
dictionary that will tell you what a Hmm means." 
         "Den you tell me." Ray demanded, as he tried to put down the
knife he held in one hand and the icing gun that was held in the other,
but Fraser seemed intent that his hands remain full as he pulled him
lightly away from the table. 
         "I was just thinking Ray." Fraser countered as Ray again tried to
rid himself of the utensils so he could reciprocate his lover's embrace. 
         "What were ya thinkin'?" Ray glared at him as Fraser again moved
him from the counter and table area. "Will ya let me put this stuff down,
fer cryin' out loud?" 
         "No." Fraser refused smiling. "I like it when you are helpless,
Ray." Ray's eyes narrowed. 
         "I'm never helpless, Ben." He warned, raising his hand up enough
to squirt Fraser's neck with a thick gob of pink icing. Fraser yelped and
backed off, trying to catch the sweet, sticky confection before it slipped
inside his collar and down his shirt. Ray chuckled, tossed the utensils on
the counter and stepped back up behind Fraser. He caught the sliding icing
with his tongue and watched Fraser shiver involuntarily as Ray slowly
licked the icing off the back off his neck. He wrapped his arms around the
Mountie and continued to nibble and suck on his tender flesh just above
the collar. Fraser moaned and leaned back into his lover, eager for the
pleasure the blonde's mouth could bestow. 
         "Ray." He sighed and again his partner chuckled. 
         "Who's helpless now?" he teased. Fraser suddenly turned and swept
Ray's legs out from under him, pinning him to the floor with the weight of
his body. 
         "You are, Ray." Fraser grinned wickedly. Ray gasped trying to
reclaim his breath that had been knocked out of him when he hit the floor.

         "Ya don't play fair, Frase." He muttered, knowing he couldn't
move the larger man without a whole lot more effort than he was willing to
exude at the moment. He was thoroughly enjoying the feel of the other
man's body against him, his arousal evident. Although it still surprised
Ray at times that he could have that effect on the usually controlled
Mountie it did give him a spark of pride and excitement to know he, Ray
Kowalski had been the cause of Fraser's passion. 
         "Knock knock!" came Maggie's voice from the doorway,
three-year-old Rose was cradled lovingly in her arms as both men
disengaged themselves sheepishly. "I did knock, but I guess you didn't
hear me." She smiled at Fraser's blush as Ray rinsed his hands in the sink
and walked over to kiss Maggie's cheek and collect his daughter. 
     "Yer getting' so big, Rose Bud." He sighed as she stared at him
adoringly. "We're gonna have'ta start beatin' the fellas away with a stick
pretty soon." 
         "She will be a charmer." Agreed Maggie as Fraser helped her off
with her coat. "Just like her Fathers." Both men grinned and after a
tender hug and kiss from Fraser, Rose was set on her feet to wander about
the room and search for her toys. 
         "Hope you're hungry." Ray commented as he returned to stir the
fresh pasta simmering on the stove. 
         "Starved." She laughed, then remembered something and retrieved a
letter from her jacket to give to Ray. "I almost forgot, I picked this up
at the post in town, I figured you guys didn't get a chance to check the
mail yet." Ray accepted the envelope and thanked her, then glanced at the
address and frowned. 
         "Who is it from, Ray?" Fraser inquired curious as he and Maggie
set the table and his lover used his pocketknife to open the large
envelope. 
         "Dunno." He admitted. "I don't recognize the..." Fraser glanced
over at his friend as Ray's words fell silent while he read the letter. 
         "Is it bad news, Ray?" he asked, concerned with the suddenly
shocked look on Ray's face. Ray shook his head, as he continued to grip
the letter, but seemed unable to speak. Fraser finally took the letter
from his partner's trembling hands, and scanned it quickly. 
         "Oh my!" Fraser exclaimed excitedly. "Ray! They are going to
publish your novel!" Maggie cried out in delighted surprise, happy for the
American. 
         "How exciting!" she declared eagerly. "I want an autograph copy,
Ray." Fraser and Maggie continued to comment on their delight at Ray's
achievement, unaware that the detective had dropped into a kitchen chair
and was staring off into space. 
         "What's wrong, love?" Fraser asked finally noticing him. "Aren't
you excited?" Ray nodded. 
         "I..I think so." He murmured and Maggie knelt beside him, he was
shaking. 
         "I think he's in shock." She stated amused as Fraser joined her
beside Ray. 
         "I am very proud of you, Ray." He offered kindly and Ray blinked.

         "I...I'm really gonna be published." He remarked in disbelief and
wonder. "How...how can someone like me write a story dat gets published,
Frase?" 
         "Because someone like you is wonderful, Ray." Fraser explained
softly, squeezing his partner's hand encouragingly. "Soon, the world will
read Fallen Mountie and love it as much as I love you, Ray." Ray blinked
back his tears and accepted the embrace that he was immediately offered
from both Canadians. 
         "Luv ya, Ben." He whispered. "Thanks fer believing in me." When
they pulled back, both Mounties's blue eyes were shining brightly. 
         "Always Ray." He assured. "Forever and ever." 
  

The end? 

Like? Hate? Let me know. 

Check out my web page