becauseoflove   All characters of Due South belong to Alliance, they
are not mine, I am just burrowing them to fullfill my own private
fantasies. :) This is part one of a two part sequel to Tell Me Why. Rated
PG-13 for mature subject matter and some language. Drama/H/C/ M/F 
  

By Amethyst  

CIRCLE OF DOUBT 

 
 

 FEEDBACK 
  
  
  
  
  

        Stanley Raymond Kowalski knelt down at the tiny headstone marked
with the statue of a young angel and brushed some of the dying flowers
away from the name to replace them with the fresh ones he had brought. His
fingers traced his son's name Michael Raymond Kowalski. It had only been a
short while since Francesca had fallen over the stairs and their precious
child died in her womb. 
         The doctors told them he was not even fully formed, barely 20
weeks, but that didn't matter to Ray. He purchased a burial plot and he
and Francesca gave their son a name. Ray missed the little boy he never
even got to hold and he pictured him with Francesca's beautifully olive
complexion and maybe his eyes. He would have been beautiful, Ray was sure
of it, and he knew there would always be that tiny place in his heart that
nothing else would ever fill, the part that Michael took away when he
died. 
         He and Francesca were doing much better lately, though Ray knew
he was still way to sensitive and prone to push his feelings away, but
with Fraser's help and the Vecchio family's persistence he was getting
better. On a spur of the moment he had proposed to her, they had both
still been emotionally wrought after the loss of Michael. He had given her
his bracelet in place of a ring and she wore it every day, regardless of
what else she might be dressed in. She wore all other jewelry on her right
hand and wrist, leaving her left especially just for Ray's charm and he
always got a warm, treasured feeling when he saw the way she displayed it.

         Ray Vecchio and Stella had returned to Florida, or wherever they
now called home. Ray had little interest in knowing the exact location and
things were a little less tense at the Vecchio home.  He and Fraser were
falling right back into sync with their partnership and were once again
almost inseparable. The Mountie had been promoted to the position of
Inspector and offered a post at the Chicago Consulate should he want it. 
        Passing ahead at least four lesser positions as if to make up for
the past way the RCMP had treated him, when he turned in one of their own
for killing his father. But the Mountie decided to take a reduction in
rank to Sergeant Major, with a special clause that allowed him to continue
investigations in the field and not be stuck behind a desk, as Sergeant
Buck Frobisher once warned him about. Fraser did this so he could remain a
partner with Ray and the detective felt a little guilty over it, but was
grateful none the less. 
         Still, he felt a little concerned for the Canadian, who had made
no attempts to find himself a girl friend since his arrival. Not that
Fraser ever looked for one, but Ray felt it would be better because he
couldn't spend all his time with his friend as he once did, Francesca
would get angry and say he was neglecting her. He just wanted the Mountie
to be happy and no longer alone. 
         Fraser had asked him a few weeks ago if he was happy with
Francesca and Ray hadn't known how to answer him. Of course he loved his
fiancée dearly, she brought new meaning into his life, but to actually
admit he was happy was something Ray was not yet willing to risk. There
was still that fear that she would be somehow taken away from him if he
said it aloud. He rose from the grave reluctantly, and cast a final loving
glance at his son's resting place , before heading back toward the car,
where his friend and a familiar wolf awaited him. 
         They stopped at the Library next, at Fraser's request and Ray
waited outside as the Mountie hurried to drop off his previously burrowed
books and quickly select a few others. He knew exactly the ones he had
wanted, for he had seen them on his last visit and he went directly to the
mystery novel shelf and promptly found the three novels. He then walked
toward the front desk of the library and presented his card to the pretty
red head at the counter, whom appeared to be new, as he did not recognize
her. 
        She offered him a polite smile, not the usual dazzling greeting he
often received from the other women that worked there, each with a come
hither look in their eyes. This woman barely afforded him the minimal
glance that courtesy required as she took his card and scanned in his
books, stamping them with the return date in the card provided in the back
of each book. 
         "Your books will be due back a week from Saturday Mr. Fraser." 
She informed routinely, as she placed the books in a sack and returned
them with his card.  "Have a nice day." 
         "Thank you kindly." Fraser tipped his hat to her politely as
Gertrude, the older woman that ran the library walked up. 
         "Out of uniform so early on a week day, Benton?" she inquired
with a warm smile. 
         Fraser returned her smile fondly, he liked the tiny matron who
looked every bit the picture of a Librarian in her knee length blue print
dress. Soft snow white hair curled into a neat bun at the nape of her neck
with spectacles perched easily on her nose that added to the image and she
barely came eye level with the Mounties's chest. 
        "We are currently undergoing a series of infestations at the
Consulate and so we have had to close down temporarily until the matter
can be properly dealt with." He explained. "I am technically off duty so I
prefer to wear my casuals." The woman glanced over the meager selection of
books he held. 
        "Only three this week, Benton?"  She commented surprised. "You'll
have those read in a couple of days." 
         "It will be all I have time for this week, ma'am." He informed,
as he braced the bag of books under his arm and took his hat off to her.
She smiled and her hazel eyes twinkled merrily. 
         "Has that partner of yours been running you ragged chasing
ruffians my boy?" she teased and Fraser tilted his head a little, neither
denying nor confirming her suspicion. 
         "I enjoy working with Ray very much." He assured. "The pursuit of
criminals is a just one and I cannot fault any extra work that goes into
apprehending them." He smiled again. 
         "Don't work to hard now love." She fretted patting his arm
affectionately. "I hope you have this Thursday free, they are doing a
reading of Robert Frost at the community center and I want you to come."
Fraser brightened. 
         "I would enjoy that very much," he accepted. "Thank you."
Gertrude indicated the woman that had checked his books. 
         "Have you met Lilia?" she introduced as Fraser politely turned
his attention back to the red head. "She's just started this week and she
is a God send." Fraser watched Lilia blush shyly and busy herself with
stamping someone else's books.  "Lilia Baker this is Sergeant Major Benton
Fraser, you'll probably see him around here often he loves to read."
Fraser extended his hand to her and she briefly shook it. 
         "It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss. Baker." he offered and she
nodded politely. 
         "Nice to meet you Sergeant." She returned quietly as Gertrude
continued speaking. 
         "She has done wonders with the shelves so far, you know I can't
get up to clean and organize them very well anymore." 
         "It is my job, Mrs. Dorwin." Lilia informed modestly and the
older woman just chuckled. 
         "I understand that dear, but so many other people that I have
hired don't feel the same way." She insisted, as a tall, good-looking
young man with wildly erratic wheat blond hair and blue-green blue eyes
walked up. "Ah, there is your side kick." She teased, as Fraser greeted
his partner, and Gertrude extended her arms for the hug she always
required from him, which he gave readily despite the low bend he had to
make to reach her comfortably. 
         "Hi Mrs. D." he greeted tenderly and she gave him an extra
squeeze before releasing him and allowing him to straighten to his regular
height. 
         "I am sorry, Ray. I did not mean to take so long." Fraser
assured, as Ray nodded then glanced at Lilia, always alert for a new
female face. 
         "This is my new assistant Lilia." Gertrude introduced noticing
the detective's interest. "This is Detective Ray Kowalski he is Benton's
partner." Ray moved to shake her hand. 
         "Pleasure." He assured smoothly, though Fraser noticed she didn't
maintain the contact with Ray any longer than she had with him. She nodded
again. 
         "Will you be around often as well, then?" she inquired cordially
and Ray laughed. 
         "Not me!" he declared amused. "I don't read anything without
pictures- I just wait for the movie to come out." Gertrude slapped his arm
playfully. 
         "Now Raymond." She scolded, though her eyes still held their
special sparkle that was afforded only for Fraser and Ray. "I happen to
know you read quite a bit, Benton has informed me so." Ray glared at the
Mountie who could only shrug and grin. 
         "Well, you do read books Ray." He agreed. "You have even loaned
me a few that..." 
         "Fraser!" Ray exclaimed exasperated. "Yer gonna ruin my rep now
button it." Gertrude laughed at their playful exchange. 
         "You no longer have a rep, Ray." Fraser reminded his blue eyes
twinkling. "You are spoken for remember?" Ray didn't miss a beat. 
         "Just because I've made a final purchase doesn't mean I can't
window shop, Frase." He teased, though he would never dream of cheating on
Frannie. He was a flirt and Francesca accepted this, simply because she
knew she held his true attention and his heart. "Now you buddy, you've
simply got too many catalogues in the mailbox, you gotta make the leap and
subscribe eventually." Fraser blushed and actually bopped Ray on the head
with one of his books, even pulling a smile from Lilia. 
        "You Sir, are a cad." He decided firmly and Ray grinned
undeterred. 
         "Cool, I've never been one a dose before." Fraser couldn't help
the smile that tugged at his lips. "Pitter patter buddy, crooks to catch,
heads ta kick, let's go." Fraser offered a polite farewell to both women
and followed his partner out. 
  

        Fraser and Ray exited the GTO, with Diefenbaker trailing behind
them, and stepped up onto the porch of the Vecchio household, just as the
door was opening. Francesca frowned at them in her simple off the shoulder
blouse and black mini skirt. 
         "Yer late." She accused. Ray grinned and handed her the single
red rose he had been hiding behind his back. 
         "Yer beautiful." 
         "Yer forgiven!" she laughed blushing and allowed them inside. 
          Ray picked up instantly on the soft music floating from the
stereo in the living room and he pulled Francesca into his arms,
proceeding to dance her around the hallway. Francesca giggled and stuck
her rose between her teeth to accommodate him. 
         Fraser watched them fondly, as Mrs.Vecchio approached from the
kitchen and welcomed the Mountie affectionately, with a kiss on both
cheeks, then offered Diefenbaker a quick petting as well. She smiled over
at her daughter and watched as Ray pulled the rose from Francesca's mouth
and kissed her tenderly, then Ma wiggled her fingers at the two beside her

         "We will leave them alone, yes?" She encouraged as they followed
agreeably. The couple did not see them leave, they were caught up in each
other, holding each other's gaze as they continued to dance, pressed
together, in their own quiet rhythm. 
         "I love you." Francesca whispered up at Ray as her fingers played
with the hair at the nape of his neck. 
         "Show me." He encouraged lowering his head to claim her mouth
again. Francesca put her all into the kiss, making them both dizzy with
desire. Finally they broke apart and he lifted her into his arms to swing
her around in a loving embrace. She giggled with delight and wrapped her
arms around his neck, adoringly. 
         "We better go eat." She murmured nuzzling his ear. 
         "In a minute." He agreed as he set her on her feet but continued
too hold her, his eyes closed as they swayed to the remaining chords of
the song. 
         Francesca couldn't get over how much Ray loved to hold her,
whether it was full body contact or just her hand in his, the detective
had to be making contact with her as much as possible when they were
together. It was almost like he was trying to convince himself that she
was real, and she wondered if he had been that way with Stella. 
        She supposed the other woman might have found it suffocating, but
not Francesca, she felt treasured and adored by Ray's attentions. He was
so romantic and sweet, even if he was a little absent-minded at times, or
he got riled over little things, Francesca could always calm him down with
just the gentlest of touches or a quiet look. It both thrilled and
frightened her to have such power over him sometimes. 
         "Are you okay, baby?" she asked gently and he nodded, but
remained in her arms. 
         "I...I needed this." He admitted quietly. "I...I went to see him
today." Francesca pulled him closer and lay her head on his shoulder,
neither of them had to put a name to the person Ray spoke of. "I thought
it would get easier, but it doesn't...just makes it harder." 
        "It's only been a few of months, Caro." She assured. "It will get
better. I miss him too." Ray squeezed her gratefully, then released her
and wiped at his eyes. "Why don't ya stay over tonight?" 
        "Not tonight, Sweetness." He refused, handing her back the rose he
had been holding, as they headed hand in hand toward the dining room.
"Fraser and I have to do some more police work diis evenin'." 
        "You always have to work." Francesca accused in the familiar
argument; it was the one thing that always seemed to set her off. "I think
ya like to spend more time wit Fraser then you do wit me." 
        "Don't start dat nonsense, now, Frannie." He warned. "I'm not in
the mood. Besides you like Fraser, remember?" 
        "Not when I have to share you with him, I don't." she refused
petulantly. 
        "Hey, I had to share you with him, so turn about's fair play." Ray
reminded and she stared at him surprised. 
        "When?" she demanded in a hushed voice as they entered the dining
room, where supper was just being laid on the table. "When did you ever
share me wit Fraser?" 
        "Duh." Ray made a face at her. "How about since I became Ray
Vecchio?" 
        "What!" she squeaked, completely forgetting that there were others
present in the room, including the subject they now spoke of. 
        "Oh, com'ahn, Sweetness." Ray sighed and shook his head at her.
"You were moonin' over Fraser like he was some kinda God, ya even had me
as yer cheerin' section fer awhile, pointin' out how Frase knew da weight
of a pound of nails on da moon but couldn't see what was in front of his
nose." 
        "Dat was different!" Francesca declared enraged as Fraser blushed
and stared at them in shock. "I never asked ya ta cheer fer me...ya didn't
even like me den!" 
        "Harrumphed." Ray snorted, tapping her nose with his finger. "I
guess you couldn't see what was right in front of you either." 
        "You mean...you mean you felt...ya liked me? Even back den?"
Francesca gasped and Ray shrugged, as he moved over to hold out her chair
for her expectantly. 
        "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't." he countered. "Da point is, I was
supposed ta be yer brother, so it didn't make a difference, but dat don't
mean I loved seein' ya mooning over my partner, Frannie." Francesca gaped
at him, angry for him insinuating such a thing, but also secretly
flattered and delighted that he had liked her even then. The idea that Ray
Kowalski had ever been jealous of her infatuation for Fraser tickled her
pink. 
        "Francesca!" her mother scolded. "It is time to sit and eat. Close
your mouth and join us at the table." Francesca lowered her eyes and did
as she was told, settling in the chair Ray had been holding for her then
watching him settled beside her with Fraser on his other side. Fraser was
staring straight ahead; unable to comprehend the argument he had just
witnessed. Finally he leaned toward Ray and whispered in his ear. 
        "What on earth was that all about, Ray?" Kowalski grinned and took
Fraser's hand on one side and Francesca's on the other as the family
prepared to say grace. 
        "Tell ya later, Buddy." He promised as Ma looked to Fraser to say
grace. The Mountie lowered his eyes and did so appropriately. 
  

        "You were arguing over what?" the Mountie declared appalled as he
and Ray entered the station the following morning. They had both been on a
late night stake out until almost three this morning, but surprisingly
neither man was very tired. Ray grinned, as he headed for the bathroom and
his partner quickly followed, lowering his voice respectively. "You must
me tugging my limb Ray." 
        "Um...I think ya mean pullin' yer leg, dere Benton, Buddy." Ray
chuckled, as he quickly took care of what he had come in for, then moved
to the sink to wash his hands. "Careful how ya phrase things, people would
take dat da wrong way." 
        "How so, Ray?" Fraser demanded curiously. 
        "Never mind, Fraser." He sighed as he dried his hands. "I'm
serious, we were arguin' over who got to spend more time wit ya." 
        "Ray, that doesn't make any sense." Fraser admonished confused.
"Why would you argue over something like that? Francesca doesn't wish to
spend time with me, she wishes to spend time with you, I would imagine-as
you are her fiancé." 
        "No no." Ray refused. "Ya got it all wrong. She made da comment
dat I'd rather spend my time wit you den wit her, and I simply pointed out
a time when she'd rather spend her time with you den wit me." 
        "Ray," Fraser caressed his eyebrow, even more agitated with this
misunderstanding. "Francesca's past infatuation with me should have no
bearing on the present. You and she are engaged, of course she would
prefer you spend more time with her, but is she actually suggesting you
are infatuated with me, since you replayed her past behavior as a
similarity to the current one?" Ray stared at him for a long moment and
Fraser worried that perhaps the detective was now just as confused as he
was. Finally Ray shook his head. 
        "I...I think I know what dat means." He remarked slowly. "Which is
kinda scary when I think about it, but ummm... no. I was just tryin' ta
show Frannie how dumb it is ta be jealous of you, just cause yer my
partner and I do spend extra time wit you. Just like it was stupid of me
ta be jealous of her when she'd be all over you like white on rice." 
        "Don't you mean you were jealous of me, Ray?" Fraser amended as
they headed for the kitchen. "For taking Francesca's attentions away from
you?" 
        "No I mean..." Ray stopped for a moment, as they moved aside to
allow another detective to exit. 
        "Welsh is lookin' fer you, Kowalski." The man informed. "He's
interviewing some broad detective from the 2-9, guess you guys need all da
help you can get." 
        "Suck my..." Ray began but Fraser effectively placed a hand over
his partner's mouth before the detective could finish the rude challenge. 
        "Thank you kindly Detective Tucker." He offered as the other man
snickered and wandered off. Ray stuck his tongue out and licked the inside
of Fraser's palm, starling the Canadian into removing his hand. 
        "Do not put things on my mouth ya don't want me ta taste, Fraser."
He smirked, effectively embarrassing his partner as they headed into the
kitchen. 
        "You should really consider what you are about to say, sometimes,
Ray." Fraser cautioned. 
        "Why start now?" Ray chuckled. "What was I sayin' before we were
so rudely interrupted...Oh yeah.  I was actually jealous of Frannie
because she seemed...I dunno closer to you den I was." Ray shrugged as he
poured himself a coffee then lifted the half empty pot toward Fraser in
silent offering. The Mountie gave a declining nod, as he usually did, and
Ray set the pot back on its warmer.  "Of course I didn't phrase it quite
like dat to her, but she got da idea." 
        "Why would you think she was closer to me than you were, Ray?"
Fraser inquired curious, as his partner dropped about four sugars cubes
into his cup, and one discretely into Diefenbaker's waiting mouth, as the
wolf stood beside him. Fraser gave them both a disapproving look. 
        "Well, you and Vecchio were tight, Frase." Ray supplied, ignoring
the Mounties's scolding glare, as they headed back toward the squad room.
"I was da new guy on da block, on top of dat you were forced ta put up wit
me, a stranger, and pretend I was yer best friend." 
        He sipped his coffee and shrugged as they rounded the corner near
Francesca's desk, and Fraser observed his partner remove something from
his jacket pocket and set it on the Italian woman's blotter, it was a
beautiful hand blown glass rose. Ray leaned against the desk and continued
on, as though he had not just completed such a romantic gesture. 
         "Everyone knew you better dan me and I guess...well I had ta play
da part of us bein' tight, ya know partners and friends, but ya hardly
knew me and I know dat couldn't have been easy fer you." 
        "It was much easier than you might imagine, Ray." Fraser offered
affectionately. "From the moment you embraced me on our first meeting, I
knew I had found...well a kindred spirit and a man I very much wanted to
get to know better." 
        "Ya did everything in yer power ta prove I wasn't who I claimed ta
be, Fraser." Ray reminded. "Ya even measured my nose and took impressions
of my teeth." Ray took another long sip of his coffee, remembering the
awful taste of that putty the Mountie had tricked him into biting into.
"Dat was not buddies at all." Fraser bit hard on his lower lip to keep
from smiling. "But I forgave ya because I realized no one had told ya what
was going on." 
        "Yes," Fraser agreed fidgeting with his Stetson. "However, before
I was even briefed on the situation, you proved your loyalty by stepping
in front of  a bullet that was meant for me, Ray." 
        "I was playin' a part." Ray defended, as he always did, when that
particular situation was brought up. "Vecchio would have done it, so I had
to. Besides, I was wearin' a vest and you weren't." 
        "I don't believe that now, any more than I did at the time, Ray."
Fraser scolded. "You proved your friendship to me before I even knew who
you really were, while in fact I was still attempting to uncover whatever
nefarious plot I believed you to be involved in." 
        "Anyway." Ray pointed out, attempting to change the subject, which
he often did when the Mountie was getting a little too close to the truth.
"Regardless of that other nonsense, I was just tryin' ta explain why I
coulda been jealous of Frannie or you, whichever. New subject." 
        "Are you trying to say that we were not friends at the time, Ray?"
Fraser challenged. 
        "You know better." Ray growled under his breath, for the
Mounties's ears only. "Now let me off da hook, will ya?" 
        Fraser remained silent as Ray finally finished off his coffee and
tossed it in a trash can close to him, then turned back toward his desk to
find an Asian woman seated in his chair glancing through the files in
Ray's in tray. Her long black hair spilled down over her shoulders and
back like liquid silk and she wore a dark, firm fitting jeans, a simple
jade blouse and a black blazer over it. Ray stalked over and slammed his
hands on the desk, startling her and suddenly steal blue eyes met fierce
dark ones. 
        "Are you lost?" he demanded sardonically as she gave him the once
over, suspiciously. Her eyes narrowed. 
        "No, but why don't you go get that way?" she suggested, surprised
when Ray reached across the desk and snatched the files she had been
holding from her hands. 
        "I believe what my partner means to say is may we offer you some
assistance, Miss." Fraser defused, sensing his partner's rising temper. 
        "No, I mean she'd better get her ass outta my chair and keep her
paws off my paperwork, or she'll find herself with more than she bargained
for." Ray rebuffed angrily. 
        "Your chair?" she repeated shocked. "Then you must be...." 
        "Detective Ray Kowalski." He introduced firmly. "And yer name so I
can spell it right on the arrest report?" The woman's eyes narrowed even
more as she rose from his chair. 
        "Listen Cowboy." She warned, also leaning on the desk in a pose
matching Ray's and staring him straight in the face. "This is all just a
misunderstanding and if you would check your testosterone at the door we
can clear this up with Lieutenant Welsh." 
        "Da only think you'll be clearin' is yer prints of my desk, lady."
Ray growled. 
        "As if you could find anything so obvious in this mess." She
countered and Fraser was worried they might soon come to blows if he
didn't do something soon. 
        "Ray, I think..." he began but Ray turned to glower at him and he
shut up. 
        "Well trained isn't he?" the woman commented and Ray's eyes blazed
at her. 
        "Shut yer mouth." Ray ordered. "You don't know what yer talkin'
about and ya got no call ..." 
        "Awww, did I hurt the Mounties's sensitive feelings?" she cooed
and Fraser was actually shocked when Ray reached for the collar of the
woman's shirt. 
        "I'll hurt yer..." He began, but Fraser caught him and pulled him
back as Lieutenant Welsh sauntered over, ignoring the threat of war
between the two detectives. 
        "Ah, glad to see you two have met." He commented calmly.
"Detective Kowalski, meet your new partner, Detective Chang. She was just
promoted and will be working with you for awhile, Kowalski." Ray's eyes
narrowed. 
        "I've already got a partner, Sir." He reminded and Welsh nodded. 
        "And now you have two, Detective, just for awhile." Welsh decided
glancing at Fraser. "No offence to your abilities, Sergeant." 
        "None taken, Sir." Fraser assured, as he extended his hand to the
woman in greeting. "Sergeant Major Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted
Police." 
        "I ain't a babysitter, Sir." Ray implied as he watched the two
shake hands,  as Chang shot the detective a smug look. 
        "Just show her the ropes, Detective." Welsh enforced. "Be a good
sport, it will do you good." 
        "What's the matter, Kowalski?" Chang challenged folding her arms
in front of her, her dark opal eyes taunting the detective. "You have a
problem working with a woman? Does my femininity offend your macho
morality?" 
        "What femininity?" Ray retorted, then turned away from her
deliberately, so that only Fraser and Welsh saw the momentary flash of
hurt projected in Chang's eyes, which was quickly replaced with anger. 
        "Sergeant, why don't you take Detective Chang on a tour of the
station?" Welsh suggested his eyes narrowing on Kowalski. "While I have a
little chat with your partner." 
        "Certainly, Leftenant." Fraser agreed readily and watched Ray
follow the Lieutenant back to his office and quietly close the door. That
was a bad sign, when Welsh got quiet he was fuming. 
        Quite often Ray was entirely too sharp with his words, especially
when he was angry or frustrated, as he obviously was now. Fraser had been
on the receiving end of his partner's sharp tongue on many occasions, but
he knew Ray never meant the things that came out of his mouth sometimes,
and almost always ended up apologizing one way or the other, once he'd
calmed down. However he wasn't sure forcing Ray to work with Detective
Chang was a good idea, they obviously knew just how to antagonize each
other. It was like putting gunpowder and liquid nitrogen together, there
was bound to be an explosion. 
        His gaze returned to the office and he watched helplessly, at his
partner being read the riot act by Welsh. Ray stood quietly, his entire
body rigid with barely contained hostility, his fists clenching and
unclenching. Fraser had been in that position many times when Thatcher had
been his superior, but he had trained himself not to react. Ray however
was an emotional and often volatile volcano, and so it was more difficult
for the detective to stand and take such harsh words from anyone. Yet,
Fraser understood how much Ray liked and respected Lieutenant Welsh, so he
knew his partner would never dare show defiance or temperament in front of
his superior. 
        "I really didn't mean to start out things this way." Chang
offered, also sadly riveted to the scene. "Lieutenant Welsh told me to
wait at Kowalski's desk and to brush up on some of his cases, I didn't
think your partner would be so.... offended." 
        "Detective Kowalski is usually much more receptive." Fraser
admitted, also at a loss  as to why his friend had practically attacked
the female detective. In fact, Ray was almost always a gentleman with any
woman, except Agent Handler who just seemed to rub the blond the wrong
way. It appeared that Detective Chang had the same effect. "He just does
not react well to surprises." 
        "Or people horning in on his territory, hmmm?" Chang countered.
"I've heard a lot about you both, according to your files and the talk
about town you guys are the best, that's why I wanted to work with you."
She smirked. "I can see however that Kowalski's reputation is pretty much
on the money though." 
        "Please don't pre-judge him, Detective Chang." Fraser requested
quietly. "I did that once and ended up the lesser for it. I am sure my
partner just needs to get used to you, and you him." 
        "Well, I guess with you around we won't be able to kill each
other." She admitted grudgingly and Fraser nodded. 
        "That is a start, is it not?" She smiled and nodded. "Then allow
me to show you around." 
  

        "You want to tell me what's going on, Detective?" Welsh inquired,
as he leaned against the front of his desk, his arms folded in front of
him and his ankles crossed. 
        "You tell me." Ray muttered. "Why do I need another partner? I've
got a partner, Fraser is my partner and I don't need some rookie messin'
up our thing?" 
        "Your thing?" Welsh repeated curious. 
        "Yah, our thing...y'know dat partnership thing." Ray insisted. "Me
an' Fraser got our own way of doin' things, we got dat way of
communicatin'...knowin' what the other's thinkin' without havin' ta say
anything. Some tag along is just gonna screw all dat up." 
        "So you're afraid Detective Chang will cramp your style?" Welsh
concurred and Ray grinned. 
        "Right!" he agreed. "Exactly dat. See I knew you would..." 
        "Deal with it, Kowalski." Welsh ordered. "She stays until I think
she's ready for the field or her own partner." 
        "But...." 
        "It's a done deal, Detective." Welsh growled and Ray dropped into
the leather sofa behind him. 
        "Dis sucks!" he muttered angrily. 
        "Now, you wanna tell me what is really bothering you?" Welsh
offered quietly. 
        "I already told you." Ray replied. "I ain't a babysitter." 
        "There's something else, Ray." Welsh decided, moving over to
settle beside the reluctant Detective. "You're explosive at times but I've
never seen you so eager to pounce on someone you just met; you looked like
you were ready to hit her."  Ray shrugged. 
        "I don't hit women." He retorted tonelessly. "I never have and I
never will, ya can take dat to the bank." 
        "I'm glad to hear it." Welsh complied. "So what set you off? Her
sitting at your desk, going through your files, being a woman, a beautiful
woman at that? Any of these reasons you tried to tear her apart,
Detective?" 
        "I...I didn't mean to." Ray admitted quietly, running his hands
through his already erratically formed hair. "I just...Don't make me do
dis, Lieu. I'm askin' as a friend now, don't make me work wit her." 
        "Give me a good reason, Ray." Welsh offered. "If you can give me a
good solid reason why you and she can't work together I'll try and find
her somewhere else to go." 
        "I...I just can't work with her." Ray muttered. 
        "Not good enough, detective." Welsh decreed. "I need a valid
reason." Ray was silent, but he looked so utterly miserable that Welsh was
tempted to let him off the hook anyway. "Is it because she's a woman?" 
            "No...not really." Ray managed hesitantly. "Not the way you
think. Women cops are cool, hell sometimes dey're better then us men, but
I...I just can't work with Chang." 
        "But you can't give me a reason for it?" Welsh sighed as he stood
and Ray shook his head. "Can't or won't Detective?" Ray was silent. "Then
I am sorry but she stays." Ray lowered his eyes, then rose deliberately to
his feet and for the briefest instant Welsh was actually wary of him and
gave him a wide berth, pretending to move across to his desk to sit down. 
        "Can I go now, Sir." Ray asked in a tone so deathly quiet that the
Lieutenant was again having second thoughts about forcing him to work with
Chang, but when he nodded, Ray just walked to the door, opened it and
closed it quietly and strode back to his desk. 
        Welsh rose and moved to watch the Detective settle in his seat,
straighten his files and place them back in his tray, then scoop at least
half of the things scattered about his desk into his drawer with a curling
sweep of his hand. He dusted off a corner of the desk and moved his
partner's revered Stetson to that position, then he sat leisurely, his
fingers steepled and his forearms resting on the desk. 
        Welsh had seen Kowalski express many different attitudes,
friendship, anger, frustration, cheerful, even melancholy, but this
deliberately perfunctory mood was one that worried Welsh. He would have to
keep a close eye on his best Detective for a little while. Welsh noticed
that even Francesca knew better than to approach him at this point, for
she had noticed something on her desk and had risen with a smile on her
face toward her fiancé, but then thought better of it and sat back down. 
  

        "Ah, Ray." Fraser greeted as he and Detective Chang returned.
"I've given Detective Chang a tour of the station." Ray glanced up at his
partner and smiled, but it was not one of the many smiles the Mountie
looked forward to seeing. There was no playfulness, no mystery, no
wickedness in this smile, just a sense of danger and that concerned the
Canadian. 
        "Dat's just great, Buddy." Ray commented rising from his chair,
again with that slow deliberation and Chang actually caught herself taking
a step backwards. "I'm sure ya didn't miss a thing."  He looked at the
female Detective, his smile gone. "I apologize fer jumpin' on ya, I'm not
usually like dat." 
        "That's okay really I..." Chang began, grateful he was going to
give her a chance, but his next words blew the air out of that assumption.

        "Let's get somethin' straight, first." He continued, as if she had
not even spoken. "I'll work wit you because my Lieutenant says so, but
Fraser is my partner, my only partner and you are a tag along.  You don't
know us and could not possibly understand our relationship, therefore you
Will. Not. Make any type of assumptions or derogatory comments about him
or our partnership. If you do anything to endanger his life, yer gone. If
you do anything to screw up our investigations, yer gone, if you so much
as get in our way at any given time yer gone, you get me?" 
        "Fine, Kowalski." Chang agreed her own temper flaring. "Just you
remember this, I am working here too and I won't be kept in the dark just
because you feel your precious toes are being stepped on. I'm just as good
a detective as you are, so just stay out of my way and I'll stay out of
yours." 
        "Trust me, I don't want to be anywhere near you." Ray retorted as
Francesca walked up to them, wary of the tension emanating from the two
Detectives. 
        "Ummm, here's the report you asked for, Ray." She offered, "And if
you have a moment could I talk to ya?" 
        Ray broke the staring contest with Chang to look at the tiny woman
now standing beside Fraser, then he nodded and followed her back to her
desk. Chang was amazed at the transformation that came over the other
detective, his entire expression softened and he smiled gently as he
accepted the file from her and glanced through it. She said something and
Chang couldn't quite make out, then stood almost on tip toe to kiss the
detective on the cheek, causing him to smile again, before returning to
his own desk. 
        "Here." He tossed Chang the file and moved to grab his gray sports
jacket from the back of the chair. "Dat's da case we're workin' on now, so
stay da hell outta the ones on my desk." Chang had the childish notion to
stick her tongue out at him, but resisted as he handed Fraser his Stetson.
"Looks like you were right, Buddy. Handley Automotive hired our guy just a
couple of weeks ago." 
        "Wonderful, Ray." Fraser returned pleased that they now had
something to redirect the detective's attentions to. 
  

        "Ray?" Francesca inquired softly as she stepped out of the house
and closed the door quietly behind her. 
        The detective glanced back at her from his position on the porch,
leaning with one foot propped up against the rail. Ma and Maria were busy
clearing away the supper dishes, while Tony had coerced Fraser into
watching a sports program with him. Ray had wandered out here shortly
after dinner, without a word to anyone. 
         "Go back inside, Frannie." He requested quietly, then turned to
look back out at the darkening sky. 
        It looked like they were in for another storm, which was about par
for Chicago in May, but she sensed there was a bigger storm brewing inside
the man next to her. She ignored his request and moved to stand beside
him, wishing he would talk to her. 
         Somewhere in the last couple months they had lost the ability to
talk, Ray seemed to be reverting to his old ways of keeping things inside.
They were doing really well the first month and a half after they lost the
baby, she and Ray talked about a lot of different things and it seemed he
kept nothing from her. Francesca had treasured that time, she'd never had
anyone that just wanted to talk with her and not at her. 
        Despite the cracks and corrections Ray still made about her
phrasing at times, she knew he wasn't doing it to make her feel stupid,
anymore than Fraser was trying to make Ray feel the idiot when he
helpfully supplied a word Ray was searching for but couldn't quite get it
out of his mouth. It was just an automatic response from them both. 
         Now, although Ray tried to keep her entertained by his teasing.
or sweeping her in his arms for a dance to the music he always seemed to
have going in his head, he had crawled back inside himself and Francesca
struggled to find the reason. She was half tempted to call up Stella and
ask what she did when Ray did this to her, but then she realized she
already knew what Stella Kowalski did; she broke Ray's heart and divorced
him. Well, Francesca wasn't married to Ray,  not yet at least, so she
couldn't divorce him, nor did she want to give up on him. She placed a
hand on his arm and tried to smile up at him. 
         "Talk to me." She pleaded as Ray looked down at her again. He
smiled, but she knew it was not genuine, as he tossed an arm over her
shoulders and pulled her closer. 
         "Sure, baby." He replied dropping a kiss on her forehead.
"What'cha wanna talk about?" 
         "Us." she replied quietly and felt him stiffen, then relax, she
was becoming attuned to his every move, every gesture and word that told
her a little more about him. 
         "Well, dere's you and me and dat makes an us." he teased, then
frowned when she didn't even crack a smile. "Okay, what did I do now?" 
         "What's bothering you?" she demanded and felt him move away to
shove his hands in his pockets. 
         "Why do women always think somethin's gotta be botherin' a man
just cause he's quiet?" he sighed as he leaned up against the porch rail,
his eyes lowered. "Can't I just be thinkin'?" 
         "Sure." Francesca acknowledged moving closer and wrapping her
arms around his waist to snuggle against him.  "Just so long as you let us
in on what yer thinkin'." Ray pulled back just enough to catch her chin
and pull her face up to meet his gaze. 
         "I'm thinkin' yer beautiful." He whispered, moving his lips
across hers in a soft, teasing kiss. "I'm thinkin' I'm one lucky SOB to
have you in my corner and I'm thinkin' I don't wanna screw all dis up." 
         "You won't." Francesca promised placing gentle butterfly kisses
across his cheeks. "I won't let you screw this up." She finally settled
her lips to his and released a sigh of pleasure, as Ray claimed them in a
sweet and passionate kiss. 
         "Oh fer heaven's sake, get a room!" Maria teased as she opened
the door and smiled at them, watching as Ray blushed and pulled away from
Francesca, who was glaring at her sister mutinously. 
         "We can use mine." She decided defiantly tugging Ray toward the
door, but Ray hung back as Fraser appeared. 
         "Not tonight, Sweetness." He whispered softly. "Gotta stake out a
place down town. Frase, grab my jacket will ya please?" The Mountie went
to do as requested, while Francesca pouted and snuggled against Ray again,
not wanting to let him go. 
         "You always gotta go to work." She sighed. "Yer workin' to hard
Caro." 
         "No such thing, wit Fraser around, baby." He assured giving her a
final kiss, before gently pulling away from her and accepting his jacket
from Fraser, who had stepped back out on the porch, Stetson in hand. 
        "I'm coming too!" Francesca insisted running for her jacket as
well. 
         "No." Ray refused. "Dis is police work, Frannie." 
         "I work at the station too!" she declared, ready for the debate.
"I got you the information!" 
         "She did find out the contact..." Fraser began but quickly shut
up with the look Ray tossed him, and changed tactics. "However it could be
dangerous Francesca." 
         "I am going!" she defied her hands on her hips. "Why can't I go?
I can help. I've helped before and...." 
         "You guess what I'm thinkin' right now and you can go." Ray
offered grinning. 
         "Yer thinkin' dere's no way in hell yer gonna let me go with you,
Ray Kowalski." She challenged. "Yer thinkin' I'm gonna get hurt or be in
the way, am I right?" Ray leaned down and kissed her cheek. 
         "Exactly right, Y'see, yer argument's even better den mine." He
returned and she glared at him as she realized she'd been caught. "We'll
be back soon." 
         "I hate you!" she called as Fraser pulled the seat forward for
Diefenbaker to climb in. 
         "I know." Ray returned calmly, opening the driver's side door as
the pretty Italian hurried around to him. "But you'll get over it." Fraser
offered he a sympathetic glance. 
         "I am sorry France ..." his words died in his throat, as
Francesca glared at him and turned away. Ray grinned and gave her a fierce
hug. 
         "Don't be mean ta Fraser, just because I can't stay." He
admonished dropping a teasing kiss on her lips. "Fergive me?" she shook
her head stubbornly and he kissed her again, more intimately this time.
"Fergive me?" Again she shook her head, more hesitantly this time. Once
more he kissed her and she melted against him. "Love me?" She nodded.
"Fergive me?" She nodded and he smiled. 
         "Jerk." She sighed defeated. He smiled and gave her an extra kiss
for that and a quick squeeze. 
         "Yer beautiful when yer pissed off at me, Sweetness." He stated,
as he slid behind the wheel, and Francesca moved back toward the house,
out of the way. 
         "Get used to it, Kowalski!" she warned. "Keep dis up and I'll be
damn well dazzling!" Maria laughed and Fraser hid a smile as he slid
inside next to his partner. Ray blew her a kiss and started the engine. 
         "He's so sweet." Maria commented as she stepped up next to
Francesca and waved at the departing car. 
         "He's a jerk." Francesca muttered. 
         "He's a sweet jerk." Maria amended and Francesca sighed and
nodded. She didn't like getting angry with Ray, but then the detective
knew she had a vicious temper and seemed to just accept it. He definitely
had a way of defusing her though, better than anyone else ever could have.
She missed him already. Maria put her arm around her and together they
walked back inside. 
  

         "So?" Detective Chang commented from her position in the back
seat of the GTO, as they sat outside a darkened automotive garage, the
wolf beside her was snoring quietly.  "What do we do now?" She knew the
procedure of course; she was just trying to get a rise out of Kowalski,
who hadn't so much as spoken to her since they picked her up at the
station earlier in the evening. She found herself missing the sound of his
voice, regardless or what might be coming out of his mouth. 
         "We wait for the perpetrators to show." Fraser returned, when Ray
continued to stare out the windshield of the car and sip his coffee in
silence. Chang sighed then turned to the Mountie, whose face was shadowed
by the darkened interior. 
         "Is he always this quiet during surveillance?" she inquired. 
         "No, he is usually quite talkative." Fraser admitted, also trying
to pull the detective into the conversation, but Ray acted as though he
had never even heard them. 
        Fraser exchanged an exasperated glance with Chang, for they had
spoken for a little while earlier, during the tour of the station, and she
truly did seem to be trying to make this forced arrangement work. The
Mountie seemed more relaxed with her, then he often was around other
women, and the observation did not pass Ray by. He could sense the
chemistry between his best friend and their new tag along, but he was
trying not to tease Fraser about it. He would prefer the Canadian not like
Chang, it made his own behavior toward her a little easier to accept. 
         "Maybe he's not actually here." Chang countered to Fraser. "Like
in the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers, maybe someone sucked the real
Kowalski up into a space ship and this is only his body double." 
         "An intriguing theory." Fraser agreed. "Of course Detective
Kowalski is much better versed on American cinema then I am, aren't you
Ray?" 
         "Fraser, look over dere by the east side of the building and tell
me if ya see anything-yer eyes are better den mine." Ray requested
quietly, his eyes never moving from their designated spot. Fraser leaned
closer to Ray and peered across to the corner of the garage. After a few
minutes he shook his head. 
         "I cannot see anything out of the ordinary, Ray." He denied
regretfully. 
         "Well maybe ya would if ya'd both stop gabbin' an' do yer job!"
the detective snapped sharply and Fraser settled back against his seat,
chagrined. A deafening silence filled the car and after a few minutes of
it Ray finally spoke again. "Sorry Frase. I just wanna get dis guy."
Fraser nodded. 
         "Understood." He allowed kindly, as Ray glanced at his watch, it
was nearing four O'clock and the sun would be up soon. His eyes lifted to
the rearview mirror to meet Detective Chang's and she was surprised to
find an apology in them for her as well. She nodded in acceptance then
quickly looked away, suddenly uncomfortable with the break through. 
         "Doesn't look like our perp's gonna show today." Ray
acknowledged. 
         "I concur, perhaps tomorrow night, Ray." Fraser offered and the
detective nodded and started the car. 
         "Let's get da hell outta here, den." 
  

         After dropping Chang back at the station  to pick up her car, Ray
drove back to his place. He had convinced the Mountie to get an apartment
in his building, so they could hang out after work or if they were working
all night on a case Ray didn't have to drive across town to drop Fraser
off before returning home. It had taken a lot of persuasion, for the
Mountie felt even the smallest bachelor pad in the building was too
excessive for him, but Ray convinced him and together they had set it up. 
         Receiving higher pay now, due to his rank, he had also been
awarded back pay for the deductions the RCMP had taken the last time he
was in Chicago, because of their belief in him as a traitor. Ray had been
livid at the way they had treated his partner, but Fraser took it all in
stride, as was his custom. 
        Ray managed to talk the landlady, who had a special affection for
the detective, to rent Fraser the apartment three doors down from his own,
even giving a special provision for Diefenbaker; since it was supposed to
be only small pets allowed in the building, like Ray's turtle. It looked
out on the park, which the Mountie appreciated and was outlined the same
as Ray's. The landlady gave them permission to fix it up however they
wanted, as long as they did it quietly. 
         With Fraser's skill at art at Ray's remarkable eye for color and
paint, they created a private little paradise for the Canadian along the
walls of the two rooms.  In the living area, the walls were a soft powder
white, and the two took advantage of this by painting murals of forests
and wild life. It made the apartment itself look huge, because it gave it
an airy, wide-open look. 
        The kitchen cupboards were the color of winter pine and the
counter tops were a green marble, a color scheme from the previous
tenants, and Fraser had fallen in love with them. Fraser's small dining
area held a mural of the Canadian and American flags, hanging from
opposite poles, with a blue sea between them and a small foot bridge
linking the poles over the water. That had been Ray's idea, representing
their friendship across two countries and the partnership that held no
boundaries. 
        His bedroom had been a surprise from Ray, actually completed
before the detective had even showed his partner the apartment;  and it
had been what had won Fraser over. Ray had painted the lower parts of the
walls white and the upper half the color of a midnight sky. A relatively
simple color scheme, except the detective had painted the ceiling a dark
blue as well and pasted small reflected silver stars all over it, so that
when Fraser lay back in his bed, it was like he was falling asleep under
an open sky. Ray had remembered how peaceful it had been to lay under the
stars, when he had been in Canada, and he wanted to make the apartment as
homey as possible for his friend. 
        Fraser had been deeply touched by all the trouble Ray had gone to
for him and had enlisted the detective's help to pick out simple but
tasteful furniture. The dining table was round pine, with four matching
high back chairs that held embroidered forest cushions. His living area
consisted of a soft brown leather sofa and matching easy chair. Pine wood
coffee and end tables with green lacquer tops accented the setting. 
        For his bedroom, Ray had insisted the Mountie buy at least a queen
size bed, if for no other reason then to give poor Diefenbaker some room
to sleep as well. Fraser had relented, buying a matching headboard and
night tables that they picked up at a garage sale and refinished, then
added two reading lamps on either side.  His footlocker took up the floor
at the foot of the bed and a small corner bureau was in one corner. 
        Fraser had installed a telephone in the kitchen, again at Ray's
insistence, but did not purchase a television, since most of the time he
ever watched anything it was with Ray at his apartment. He did however
accept the small boom box, with CD and tape player that Ray had bought him
for a house warming, gift, complete with a set of classical CD's that
Fraser could add more to at his leisure. 
        "Are you tired, Ray?" Fraser inquired as they walked up the steps
toward their floor. 
        "Exhausted, buddy." Ray admitted stifling another yawn and
slapping his partner affectionately on the back. "I'll see ya in da
mornin'." 
        "It is morning, Ray." Fraser reminded as he opened the door of his
apartment, never one to bother locking it, despite Ray's arguments that he
should.  There was nothing of any real value in the Mounties's apartment
and he knew if someone wanted to break in badly enough, no lock would stop
them. 
        "Um...yah, 'kay." Ray grinned tiredly as he headed down the hall
to his own place, while Dief trotted inside Fraser's apartment. "See
ya...in a couple of hours den." 
        "Try to get some sleep, Ray." Fraser suggested and Ray nodded and
turned away as the Mountie went inside behind the wolf. Ray was so tired
he could barely hold the key to get it into his lock, but finally he
managed to push it in and turn it so the door would open. 
        "Hiya, honey." Francesca Vecchio greeted from the darkened living
area, as she rose from the sofa and Ray's hand went to his gun startled. 
Sometimes he regretted ever giving her a key to his apartment. He shook
his head, knowing that warning her from scaring him like that would not
sink in, any more than the hundred other times he had told her, so he
tried to calm his pounding heart by taking a few slow deep breaths as he
locked the door behind him. 
        "Baby, I'm really bushed." He informed as he slid off his jacket
and shoulder holster, then dropped them over a chair as he walked over to
her. Francesca crept up behind him, while his back was to her, and put her
arms around him. 
        "I'll bet I could help ya sleep." She offered. 
        "Won't need any help." Ray assured as he moved away, turned and
dropped onto the sofa. "I'm already asleep, just my body don't know it so
it keeps movin'." Francesca smiled and settled on his lap, caressing the
hair at the nape of his neck and nuzzling his neck. 
        "I just wanna be with you, Ray." She sighed as his arms went
around her in a comfortable embrace. "I don't care if we do anything, I
just wanna sleep in yer arms tonight." Ray released a long breath, then
offered her a small smile, before rising with her in his arms. 
        "Dat's good, cause I ain't up to much else." He teased as he
carried her to his bedroom. She giggled when he tossed her on the bed and
she bounced a few times, before she rose to help him shed his clothing.
Soon they were both under the covers, curled up together with Frannie's
back pressed spoon fashion against Ray's chest and his arms around her his
favorite way to sleep. 
        "Ray?" she asked quietly. 
        "Hmmm?" 
        "Did you...were you often...um...did you work dis hard...I
mean..." 
        "Spit it out before I fall asleep, Frannie." He requested tiredly
and Francesca bit her lip. Well, she'd already started so she may as well
finish it. 
        "Were you always too tired ta make love when ya were married to
Stella?" she blurted, then immediately regretted it when she felt his
breath catch and his body tense against her. For a long moment he didn't
respond, and she thought maybe he had just decided not to answer her and
had fallen asleep, but finally his voice sounded next to her. 
        "Stella was da one who was too tired, Frannie." He admitted
bitterly. "She was too tired ta make love, too tired ta cook, too tired ta
start a family and way too tired ta be bothered wit da likes a me wantin'
ta love her." Francesca cursed herself for even bringing up the woman's
name, even as Ray rolled her onto her back to peer down at her in the semi
darkness of the room. 
        "I'm sorry." She whispered, but he shook his head and lowered his
lips to hers for a brief moment, too brief for Francesca's liking. 
        "Don't be." He refused softly. "I...I guess ya don't think about
it 'till the shoe's on da other foot." His fingers caressed her cheek as
he continued. "I don't mean to seem tired all da time, sweetness and I
know I been workin' long hours, but I'm a cop and...well it can be dat way
sometimes." She nodded, she understood all about irregular hours, her
brother was a cop as well and sometimes he didn't come home nights because
of a case he had been working on. 
        "I just miss you." She sighed; reaching up to run her fingers
through his hair then looping her arms around his neck. "I know you have
to work and I don't really mind because I know yer doin' so much good fer
other people, helpin' keep us safer, but I can't help wishin' we could
spend more time together." 
        "Tell you what." He promised. "After we're done wit dis case we're
workin' on, I'll ask Welsh fer some time off, I got at least a few weeks
vacation comin' I could maybe take some a dat and we could go away
somewhere, just da two of us. Would dat be okay?" The glowing expression
on Francesca Vecchio's face pretty much summed up what she thought of that
idea. 
        "I'd love that Ray." She admitted smiling. "I love you." Ray
smiled and lowered his lips to hers again. 
        "I love you, Frannie." He whispered as he kissed her. "Never doubt
dat." 
        "Are you sure yer too tired?" she asked wistfully as she reached
down to grasp his growing arousal through his briefs. "I'll do all the
work." Ray moaned in defeat and pressed against her hand. 
        "I should really get some sleep." He muttered, even as he kissed
her cheeks, her neck and trailed a path down over her collarbone, making
her shiver in delight. "Yer not helpin' da situation, here, Frannie." She
smiled and caressed him again, causing him to gasp and reach down to stop
her hand. 
        "Please?" she whispered. 
        "I can't Frannie." He denied regretfully. "Da body's willin' but
da spirit's unconcious." 
        Francesca giggled and relented. She turned back away so they could
lay in their previous positions, catching Ray's arm that he tossed over
her, linking their fingers, and pulling their hands up toward her cheek.
Besides, she thought to herself, there was always later today when he woke
up. She contented herself with that and drifted off to sleep. 
  

        However, when Francesca awoke later that afternoon, she found
herself alone in the bed and felt imedieatly bereft. She heard low voices
speaking outside the room and recognized at least one of them to be
Fraser's. She groaned and punched her pillow; Ray hadn't been kidding when
he commented that the Mounties's timing sucked. She glanced at the clock
radio and saw that it was only a little after ten, so she wondered how
long Ray had been up. With a decided sigh, she started to sit up and was
about to toss aside the covers, when there was a knock on her door and Ray
entered carrying a tray with coffee, juice, scrambled eggs, bacon and
toast. 
        "Mornin' sweetness." He greeted grinning ,as he settled the tray
across her lap, while she attempted to make herself  more presentable
before him. 
        "How long have you been up?" she accused as she glanced down at
her breakfast impressed. Ray was already dressed in his usual jeans and
blue T-shirt, his shoulder holster secured about him, so she knew he was
headed back to work. Ray glanced at his watch. 
        "Since eight." He returned as he leaned in to kiss her good
morning. 
        Damn, he smelled more delicious then the meal before her and
Francesca was hard pressed not to toss the tray aside and pull the
detective into her arms to ravage him thoroughly. It was truly amazing,
how attracted to Ray she was. She had been infatuated with Fraser, there
was no doubt, and had spent long hours fantasizing about him, but with Ray
there was no comparison for her. He was all she could want. 
          "You have ta go already?" she demanded disappointed and he
nodded. 
.         "Fraser and me got go check out some things real quick." He
informed. Francesca caught him by the collar and pulled him back down for
a breath taking kiss. When she made no signs of releasing him, he started
to pull away and her arms coiled around his neck, pulling him almost on
top of her. 
        "Mmmhh!" he exclaimed, reaching up and carefully prying her from
around him. "I gotta go, baby." She shook her head and tried to pull him
down for another kiss and he chuckled. "Do. Not. make me go out dere wit a
hard on, Frannie, Fraser notices everything." She giggled and released him
reluctantly, noticing that it was already too late to save appearances, as
her eyes lowered to the bulge in his jeans. He smiled at her pouting face.

        "I gotta go to work." he enforced. "But I'll come by yer house and
pick ya up fer dinner around six, okay?" 
        "Just the two of us?" she stressed, hopefully and he leaned in
again to kiss her soundly, before rising from the bed. 
        "Just you and me." He promised and her smile brightened the room.
"Now eat yer breakfast, and lock da door when ya leave okay?" She nodded
and watched him leave, then she carefully moved the tray aside, grabbed up
her robe and secured it around her, then hurried into the outer room where
the men were just opening the front door to leave. She threw herself into
Ray's arms and kissed him once more for good measure, before shyly
releasing him. 
        "Good afternoon, Francesca." Fraser offered kindly, he was in his
red serge today because he had some business to attend to at the Consulate
before he and Ray could continue with the work on their case. Ray was
going to pick up Chang and together they would do some investigation on
their own, until the Mountie could join them. 
        "Mornin' Frase." She greeted as she offered the detective a
smoldering look. Ray chuckled and shook his head, deliberately turning her
away from him. 
        "Put dose eyes away, dey're dangerous." He teased as he kissed her
cheek from behind then headed out. Francesca giggled and ran to the window
to wait until she saw them walk out into the parking lot and climb into
the GTO, then she hurried back to the bedroom to eat her now cold
breakfast. 
  

        Ray did not show to pick Francesca up for dinner and she had been
livid, until at eight thirty she still had not heard from either Ray or
Fraser, then she grew concerned. Ray was always very good about calling
her if he was running an hour late, or Fraser would call on Ray's behalf,
because the detective couldn't get away. He knew that she worried about
him. Spending half her time looking through the living room curtains and
the other half leaving messages on Ray's answering machine, she was a mess
by ten O'clock. She had tried his cell phone numerous times and had
received no answer, so either he didn't have it with him or the ringer had
been turned off, because of the situation they might be in. Finally on her
eighteenth try a woman answered. 
        "Hello?" 
        "H...hello?" Francesca returned confused. "I...I must have dialed
the wrong number is this 555-4141?" 
        "Yes it is." The woman announced. "Did you need to speak to
someone?" 
        "I...who is this?" Francesca demanded her heart in her throat. Was
Ray seeing another woman? Was that why they hadn't made love in so long,
because he had found someone else. She heard her fiancé's voice in the
back ground, telling the woman to tell whoever it was that he didn't want
any. 
        "Who's calling please?" the woman asked, amusement in her voice. 
        "I...no...no one." Francesca muttered and quickly hung up. 
        She dashed the sudden tears in her eyes away with an angry swipe
of her hand and turned toward the stairs. She was half way to her room
when the telephone rang in the hallway. She was tempted to just let it
ring, she didn't want to talk to anyone and if it was Ray trying to
explain...well she didn't want to talk to him either. However, her
curiosity got the better of her and she snatched it up on the fourth ring.

        "Vecchio residence." She stated quietly. 
        "Francesca?" Fraser's deep voice came across the line. "Thank God,
I've been trying to reach you for over an hour, but your lines were busy."
Francesca bit her lip; he must have been trying to call her while she had
been trying to call Ray. 
        "Well, what did you want, Fraser?" she demanded harsher then she
had meant to be and there was a distinct pause on the line before Fraser
spoke again. 
        "I don't wish to alarm you, Francesca, but there has been an
accident and Ray and I are at the hospital." Immediately all doubts left
her. 
        "Which one?" she demanded. 
        "It's too late to come by now, Francesca." He told her. "Ray and I
are fine, although at the moment he is not quite himself. I will be taking
him home as soon as they release him and Detective Chang so there is no
point in you..." 
        "I'll meet you there then." She decided and hung up before Fraser
could reply. She ran to her room, grabbed a small over night bag and threw
some things into it. Everyone else had already gone to bed, so she left a
note saying where she was headed, grabbed her jacket and car keys and
hurried out. 
  

        It seemed to take forever for her to hear the key turn in the lock
of Ray's apartment door and she hurried over to throw it open, as Fraser
supported his shaky partners inside. 
        "Hiya Frannie!" Ray greeted enthusiastically, as they settled him
and Detective Chang on the sofa. Francesca could see no apparent injuries,
as Ray caught her hands and tried to play patty cake with her. "Patty
cake, patty cake, Frannie, yer so pretty." She smiled as he leaned against
her. "You wanna be my girl Frannie? Wanna go steady wit me?" She nodded,
even as she looked toward Fraser for an explanation. 
        "We were in pursuit of our suspects when one of them shot Ray with
some kind of dart gun and injected him with a form of amphetamine. They
missed me, but were accurate in their aim for Detective Chang. Luckily,
the drugs didn't start to take effect fully, until we had managed to
apprehend the subjects." 
    "You mean they're high?" Franceseca demanded appalled and Fraser
nodded reluctantly. 
    "The doctors ascertained that the drug wasn't enough to cause serious
damage, but it would just have to run its course." Fraser replied. " The
nurse at the hospital informed me she had heard Ray's phone ringing in his
jacket and when she answered she said the woman did not leave her name,
but I assumed it was you." 
        "Yah I...I didn't...I thought it was a wrong number." She defended
quietly and Fraser accepted her explanation without question 
        "Ah...yes, well, I tried to call you again, to see if your line
was open and I am glad to say it was." He returned. "Ray of course refused
to stay at the hospital, and not to be out done Detective Chang refused
because he did. I told them I would look after them and you know how Ray
is about hospitals. The physicians agreed as long as they were not left
alone until the drugs had been depleted from their systems." 
    "Were you hurt?" Francesca asked, as Ray started singing You Are My
Sunshine and Chang continued to stare adoringly at Fraser. 
        "I was uninjured." He assured her, avoiding Chang's lustful gaze.
She had pinched him twice at the hospital, and had made every opportunity
to paw him, but she seemed to have calmed down since the ride home,
containing herself to just looking. 
        "Fraser's Super Mountie!" Ray exclaimed in delight, jumping up and
running around the room like a kid with a toy airplane. "Faster dan a
movin' car, more powerful den a sinkin' ship. Able to taste electrical
sockets in a single lick! Da dan da, da dan da da!" Chang started giggling
and Fraser and Francesca couldn't keep from smiling at the situation. 
        "Wish I had a video camera." She murmured slyly. "So what do ya
wanna do wit deese two?" Fraser rubbed his thumb across his brow in
thought. 
        "Ah...yes, well," he stammered. "I am sure Ray will not feel
entirely....er...jovial tomorrow when he wakes up and the drugs have worn
off. He is not overly fond of Detective Chang's presence on a daily basis,
I sincerely doubt he would be happy having her in his apartment when he
awoke." 
        "So you wanna take her back to yer apartment and I'll tend ta
Ray?" Francesca suggested and saw the trepidation flash over the
Mounties's face before his usual calm mask slipped back into place. 
        "Er....well...to be honest, I would prefer not to be alone with
her." He admitted and Francesca grinned, as she moved across the room and
pulled the TV remote from Ray's fingers, after he had snatched it up and
started flipping channels at the speed of sound. She switched it off and
ignored his pouting face. 
        "Feeling a little frisky is she?" Francesca grinned as Ray grabbed
up one of the sofa pillows and smacked Chang with it. She reciprocated in
kind and Fraser and Francesca were hard pressed to relieve them of their
weapons. Their reflexes were quite good considering the state they both
were in. They managed to settle both detectives's in opposite corners of
the couch. 
    "She has been affected by the drug in a....ah...romantic capacity,
yes." Fraser agreed reluctantly. "Perhaps you could watch her at my
apartment and I could take care of Ray?" Suddenly Chang tipped forward and
was lying almost on top of Ray, unconscious. His hands went up in the air
immediately as he stared at them in horror. 
        "I didn't touch her!" he vowed frantically. 
        "I don't think you'll have any trouble with her, Benton."
Francesca giggled as they pulled the woman off the disgruntled detective a
settled her back against the cushions. "Help me get Ray ta bed, then I'll
help you with her." Fraser agreed relieved. 
        "Thank you kindly, Francesca." He returned and moved to help
support his partner as they hauled Ray to his feet and headed for the
bedroom. 
        "I'm sure he will feel better after he gets some sleep." Fraser
decided. 
        "Sleep!" Ray protested. "I don't need no stinkin' sleep!" He broke
away from them and pulled Francesca into his arms to spin her clumsily
around the room. "I wanna dance all night, I coulda danced all night..."
he sang as Francesca managed to pull away, but then Ray just grabbed hold
of Fraser. "I'll dance wit you den." 
        "Ray." Fraser reminded trying not to think how embarrassed the
detective would be if he remembered that he was holding a grown man in his
arms and trying to dip him. Fraser righted them both, somehow, and turned
Ray toward the bedroom. "Let's go dance in there, Ray, it's much more
comfortable." 
    "Okay." Ray agreed readily and ran inside to throw himself on the bed
in apparent glee. He sat up, frowning as Fraser and Francesca moved to
take his boots off. "Watcha doin'?" 
        "We're getting you undressed so we can get you in bed, Ray."
Fraser returned calmly, as they managed to pull his T-shirt over his head;
the Mountie had long since relieved him of his weapon and shoulder
holster. 
        "Benton, Buddy!" Ray tsked, trying to look serious but having
little success. "I luv ya buddy, I do, yer da best partner and da best
friend, but ya know I just can't cheat on Frannie dat way." Fraser
straightened and blushed as Francesca laughed openly. 
        "Ray I didn't mean..." he began flustered, but Ray was already
reaching out and pulling the Mountie back toward him. He grabbed Fraser's
flushed face between his hands and kissed him straight on the mouth,
pressing their lips together only briefly, but it was enough to fluster
the Canadian immensely. 
        "Best I can do fer ya buddy." Ray offered as Fraser turned the
color of his tunic. "Cute as ya are, yer just not my type." 
        "Thank you kindly, Ray." Fraser retorted starting to regain some
of his composure as Francesca managed to pull of Ray's jeans and cover him
with the blankets. "I do appreciate the effort, but unfortunately you are
not my type either." 
        "Well, if yer gonna be picky, Frase." Ray sighed as Francesca
attempted to control her laughter. 
        "Let's go get da other one." She chuckled, but Ray had already
started to get out of the bed and come after them. Francesca settled him
back in. 
        "Don't go." He pouted to her. "I wanna go wit ya." 
        "I'll be right back, Ray." She promised, but he wouldn't let go of
her hands. She sighed and turned to look at the Mountie behind her, he
also looked exhausted. 
        "Think ya can handle Chang on yer own, Frase" she inquired
reluctantly. He nodded. 
        " I am sure she will sleep straight through now." He returned.
"Are you sure you wish to try taking care of him alone, Francesca?" Fraser
was right to be concerned, for there was no way of telling what Ray might
do from one minute to the next with drugs in his system. 
        "Sure, da most he might try ta do is ravage me." She returned
slyly and winked at him. "Dat I'd probably enjoy." Fraser blushed again
and shook his head. 
        "My number is on his speed dial, the first one." He informed as he
moved back toward the living room.  "Just call if you need me." 
        "I'm just gonna walk Fraser out and I'll be right back." Francesca
promised and Ray released her, though she knew if she was gone more than a
few minutes he would probably come after her again, so she hurried to open
the door as Fraser picked up the unconscious Detective. 
        "Same to you." she told him as she reached up to drop his Stetson
on his head, which Ray had knocked off accidentally when they entered the
apartment. "Call if ya need me. 
        "I will."  He assured, as she reached up to kiss his cheek. 
        "Thanks fer takin' care of him. I'm glad you weren't hurt either."

        "Thank you kindly, Francesca." Fraser returned softly then went
out. "Good night." 
         "Nite, Frase." She called, then waited until she saw him enter
his apartment before she closed and locked the door. 
        She switched off the lights and returned to the bedroom where Ray
immediately brightened, as she removed her clothing and crawled in beside
him. 
        "Hi." He greeted rolling over on his side to face her. "How'ya
doin'? Where ya been? Whatc'cha been up to?" 
        "I'm good." She smiled, reaching out to caress his warm, flushed
cheek. "Yer higher den a kite, aren't ya?" He smiled at her and reached to
pull her closer into the contour of his arms. 
        "I'm feelin' pretty good." He admitted. "But you feel better." 
        "You'll feel worse in da morning." She promised with a sympathetic
smile as she brushed a tendril of hair away from his forehead, then mused
aloud. "I wonder if I ask you stuff now would ya be obliged ta tell me
what ya wouldn't when yer sober." 
        "I'm not drunk, Frannie." He replied almost seriously. " I know
I'm feelin' dis way cause a what dat guy shot me wit, but ya can ask me
anything, I'll never lie to ya." 
        "Ya love me?" 
        "Always." He promised with a contented smile, as he played with
the strap of her lacy black bra. 
        "More den ya loved Stella?" 
        "Different den Stella." He returned without hesitation, as his
fingers started to slip the strap from her shoulder mischievously. 
         Francesca was surprised by his response, since usually when she
brought up her new sister in law, Ray became bitter and withdrawn, and
maybe these drugs weren't such a bad thing. She shook her head, how could
she think that? She loved Ray the way he was, not pumped up like he was
now. It certainly wasn't his fault, but there was no reason, Francesca
couldn't finally get a few of her questions answered while he was in such
a talkative mood. 
        "Do ya miss her?" she continued, watching him nibble her now bare
shoulder as his fingers moved to the opposite strap. 
        "Yes." Ray returned. "But not as much as I miss ya when yer not
here." Francesca was happy for that at least. Finally she voiced the one
true fear that had been plaguing her all this time 
        "W...would ya go back to Stella if she asked ya?" Ray again did
not hesitate before he answered and Francesca wondered if half his trouble
when he was in his normal state wasn't because he was afraid to say how he
felt. The drugs seemed to give him no fear of repercussions. 
        "Dunno." he replied as his lips moved lower and she bit her lip in
anticipation. "She's married now ya know, her husband might not like dat."

        "Would you...do you still want Stella." 
        "Sometimes." He admitted as he gently pushed her onto her back and
hovered over her, eyeing her with an appreciative gaze. Francesca couldn't
help the soft cry of passion that tore from her as his mouth lowered to
suckle her left breast, while his hand paid continued attention to the
other one. 
        "Is...am I just a stand in because ya can't have her den?"
Francesca gasped, as she shimmied down under the covers so she was
directly under him now and could feel his lower body against hers. 
        "No, yer da woman I'm in love wit."" He returned as his fingers
moved down across her bare midrift then slid inside her panties. Her hips
rose to meet the intimate invasion as his mouth moved higher to claim
hers. 
        She moaned against him, willing to give in to their mutual need,
despite the fact that he was not completely concious of what he was doing,
but suddenly his passion took a darker turn and she was gasping for breath
because he would not release her mouth. She tried to push at him, warn him
he was going too fast, but his fingers picked up on his sudden animalistic
rythem and she was soon writhing beneath him shamelessly. She found
herself reaching for him, she wanted him inside her, now, but the position
he lay and the pace he had set denied her. 
        "Wait!" she cried when he finally released her swollen lips. "Ray,
please! Yer goin' too fast I..." 
        "Don't ya like it, baby?" he growled and for a moment she was
actually frightened of him and cursed herself for not listening to Fraser.
There was no way of knowing how someone would react on drugs and she had
laughed off Ray's condition in arrogance. Suddenly, he started to slow,
almost to a stop and she found herself protesting as his body grew heavier
against her. 
        "Ray?" she whispered, her entire body throbing with  a combination
of fear and the need simultaneously, as he started to pull away. 
        "So beautiful, sweetness. " He murmured sleepily as his eyes
started to close. "Take my breath away." Francesca sensed her time was
running out to find out her answers. 
        "Why don't ya ever want to make love to me anymore, Ray?" she
sighed frustrated that they had come so close, despite the way it had been
going.. 
        "Do...do wanna." He assured. "Afraid, Frannie." She frowned. 
        "Afraid of what, baby?" she soothed as she cuddled closer. 
        "Yah, 'fraid of baby." He agreed, his speech starting to slur as
the adrenaline finally wore down. 
        "What does dat mean?" she cried, shaking him to try and wake him
up so he could answer her, but he was already snoring softly. "Ray! What
does dat mean?" 
        She almost started to cry in frustration but contained herself. He
was afraid to make love to her, but why? He called her baby sometimes, as
she did him, was he afraid of her or himself? What did he refer to?
Another child? Maybe he was afraid of having her get pregnant because of
what happened last time, no...Ray wanted kids, they both did. Damn this
was going to keep her up the rest of the night! 
  

        Fraser settled Detective Chang in his bed, preferring to leave her
clothes on, rather then to risk waking her by removing them. She woke up;
however, just as he was pulling the covers over her and she reached to
catch his arm, preventing him from leaving. 
        "Stay." She whispered and Fraser sat on the bed next to her. 
        "Try to sleep, Detective." He suggested. "You will feel better." 
        "Tara." She sighed. 
        "Pardon?" 
        "My name is Tara." She explained as she shyly linked her fingers
through his. "Yours is Benton, right?" 
        "That is correct." Fraser returned, allowing the contact for the
time being, since she was still quite drowsy and perhaps not aware of what
she was doing. 
        "Say my name." She pleaded. 
        "Tara." He complied kindly and was rewarded with a rare and
wonderful smile from her. 
        "It sounds so pretty when you say it." She murmured. 
        "It is a pretty name." He allowed politely. 
        "Benton is nice too." She returned and he smiled shyly. 
        "Thank you, kindly." 
        "Do you like me, Benton?" she asked. 
        "Certainly." 
        "Kowalski doesn't." 
        "Detective Kowalski sometimes just has a hard time adjusting to
new people." Fraser explained. "I am sure he likes you just fine, he is
just pretending not to because he is feeling put upon." 
        "You think he likes me?" she repeated hopefully and Fraser nodded.

        "Of course he does, why wouldn't he?" 
        "I like him." She sighed. "Too much I think." She smiled again and
squeezed Fraser's hand. "Not as much as I like you though, Benton." Fraser
blushed and cleared his throat. 
        "I am sure you will feel better if you rest some more,
Det...Tara." He amended and she nodded. 
        "Will you stay with me?" she asked eagerly. "I...I just don't
feel...right and I'm a little scared at the moment." 
        "I will be here." He promised and an expression of relief passed
over her beautiful features. 
        "You truly are a real gentleman." She commented sincerely. "You'll
make someone a wonderful husband one day." She squeezed his fingers again.
"You're already a wonderful friend." Fraser flushed with pleasure as
Diefenbaker padded in and jumped up on the bed. Fraser opened his mouth to
scold him, but Tara had already wrapped her other arm around the endearing
animal. 
        "Wonderful." He muttered, pretending to be annoyed, but secretly
impressed that the wolf had taken to Tara so easily. "Between you and Ray
spoiling him, he'll be insufferable." Tara smiled, then slowly sat up, so
that her face was just inches from the nervous Canadian's. 
        "Do you have a girl friend, boy friend, or significant other,
Benton?" she whispered and the feel of her hot breath on his skin caused a
dizzying effect on him. 
        "I...I...no." he admitted, knowing he should move away this
instant; Tara was not in control of herself and he would be taking
advantage other wise. "None...none of that." 
        "Me neither." She sighed reluctantly, her dark penetrating gaze
never moving from his. "It's hard to find someone who likes you as you
are, for who you are and not just what they see." 
        "Yes." Fraser found himself agreeing quietly, her eyes were
hypnotizing him, he was sure of it, why else could he not make himself
move from her touch. She reached up her free hand and caressed his cheek. 
        "Let's promise to get to know each other, Benton." She requested
softly. "And see beyond what everyone else sees of us." She leaned forward
and brushed her lips to his in a feather light kiss. "I want to know you.
If we have to be alone in our individuality, let's be alone together." 
        "Yes." Fraser whispered his eyes flickering closed as she kissed
him again. 
        She tasted like the sweetest fruit Fraser could ever imagine and
had the delightful smell of peaches and cream upon her skin. He knew he
should stop this, Tara was under he influence of a drug and he was taking
advantage, but he couldn't help it, she was drawing him inside her world
of intoxication with her scent, her taste and her touch. 
        "Don't let me forget our promise, Benton." She murmured quietly,
as she broke their connection reluctantly, her eyes drifting close as the
last of the drug started to take it's toll. Fraser caught her before she
could fall backwards, then gently lay her down and tucked the covers
around her. 
        "I won't." he promised as he scratched Dief's ears affectionately,
while he watched Tara sleep. 
  
  

        Ray tumbled out of bed, pulled on the jeans he had dropped on the
floor when he had undressed the night before, and stumbled irritably to
the front door of his apartment, where someone was leaning heavily on his
buzzer. It had been just three days since he had been shot up with that
drug and had woke up with Francesca in his arms the following morning. She
had seemed distant and preoccupied, not asking to stay the remainder of
the day, once she saw he was felling better. 
        He, Fraser and Detective Chang had been given a priority case by
Welsh, directly after they returned to the station, so Ray hadn't had the
chance to ask for that week off, as he promised Frannie he would.
Francesca didn't say much when he told her and that worried Ray more then
the fact that he couldn't get the time off. He wondered what had happened
when he had been under the influence of the drugs, but whenever he asked
she denied anything had occurred. 
         "Fraser!" he growled, sliding back the dead bolt and throwing the
door open. "Dis better be..." His words were cut off as he stared at
Detective Chang, smiling encouragingly from the other side, holding a
small bag in her hand. 
         "Good morning Detective." She greeted, sardonically as she pushed
past him into the apartment, looking fresh as a daisy in her dark jeans
and yellow T-shirt. 
        Somewhere in the recess of his memory, he remembered Francesca
having once said something about yellow being a calm and soothing color,
so he stared a little longer at the shirt than he probably should have.
Nope, didn't work never felt less calm in his life. 
         "Shouldn't you be in a basement somewhere hidin' from the sun?"
he accused in annoyance as he closed his door, locked it, then moved past
her to return to his bedroom. 
         "I thought we'd get an early start." She suggested following him.
"Before we had to go to the precinct." 
         "Fine." He muttered as he crawled back over his rumpled sheets
and allowed himself to drop back on his soft pillow. "Knock yerself
out-I'm goin' back ta sleep." 
         "Are we not a morning person, Kowalski?" she teased as she leaned
against the doorway of the room. "Why did you think I was Fraser?" 
         "He's da only one stupid enough ta wake me up dis early and risk
gettin' shot." He retorted, taking the pillow and placing it over his head
defiantly. "Go'way before I get my gun." 
         "I have my own gun." She taunted. 
         "Mine's bigger and within' reach." He threatened in a muffled
voice. "Scram!" 
         "We have too much to do for you to be lazying around all day."
She decided and he lifted the pillow to glare at her, before sliding a
short way's across the bed and reaching for the pistol on the night stand.
Chang was quicker and her hand landed atop his over the weapon. "Wouldn't
look good on your record, Kowalski." She warned. 
         "No jury would convict me." He promised and she smiled. 
         "Com'on, you're awake now anyway." 
         "It's not even day time yet!" he exclaimed releasing the weapon
in defeat and feeling her fingers move from his.   "It's still dark
outside!" 
         "It's getting lighter." She assured rattling the bag in her
hands. "I even brought you breakfast and coffee." 
         "Ya tryin' ta bribe me, Chang?" Ray demanded as he rolled over
onto his back with a groan. 
         "Only if it works." She replied with a hesitant grin, as the
blond tossed an arm over his eyes in defeat. The smell of fresh coffee and
Danishes filled the room around him and he felt a slight dip in the bed as
Chang settled beside him and offered him a cup of the sweet smelling brew.
"Chocolate Carmel?" she enticed and Ray finally sat up and accepted the
paper cup from her, pealing back the lid and taking a small sip to taste.
It was delicious, but he wasn't going to tell her that. He gave her a
sideways glance, as she sipped her own coffee, then suddenly became aware
that they were both seated on his bed and all he wore was his jeans. 
         "Yah, well...I need a shower and at least three more cups of
coffee before I wake up." He muttered, setting his cup on the nightstand
then sliding across the mattress to the floor, and heading for his
bathroom. 
 "Don'ttakeallday!"she called after him and couldn't make out his stinging
reply as he slammed the bathroom door shut. A moment later she heard the
water running and smiled. 
         She must have been crazy to come here, she knew that Kowalski
didn't care for her at all and resented her presence with he and Fraser,
but she wanted to become a good detective. The kind she'd read Kowalski
was and for that she had to get into the mind of the mysterious blond,
study him and try to get him to teach her what she wanted to know. She was
a good cop and she would be an even better detective, if she could learn
from the best, and the best was Ray Kowalski. 
         She wished that she had recognized him from the service photo in
his file, but he had been quite young then and wearing a policeman's cap.
So, it had been her misfortune that she hadn't made the connection with
the magnetically attractive detective that had approached her at the
precinct that day, which seemed to be the start of their trouble. Of
course her mouth often got the better of her and that did not help the
situation either. 
         "You mind leavin' so I can get dressed, or are you plannin' ta
watch?" Kowalski's voice suddenly sounded close to her ear and she jumped,
having been caught day dreaming. She hadn't even heard him come out of the
bathroom, let alone walk up almost next to her damn he moved like a cat.
She glanced up, then down at the towel he was wearing, then back up again.

         "I...I'll just wait out here." She scurried off the bed and tried
to appear unaffected as she hurried out of the room. She heard the door
close a moment later behind her and sighed in relief. Boy! That was really
professional, wasn't it Tara? 
        She cursed herself and thought briefly of running over to get some
moral support from Fraser, three doors down, but she dismissed it. The
Mountie had been great helping her through her time with them, being
referee between her and Ray, and also offering insight into his partner's
erratic behavior, so she didn't want to bother him. 
         She couldn't quite remember what happened the night they had
captured those homicide suspects and that bothered her. She remembered
getting hit with something in her leg, and then they took down the
criminals. She knew they had all gone to the hospital because she and
Kowalski had been shot with some drug, but she didn't recall anything else
until she woke up in Benton Fraser's bed the following morning. 
        The Mountie had been asleep on a bedroll in the living room and
she still wore all her clothes, so she knew nothing had happened; yet
Fraser had blushed when he awoke and saw her standing over him. He asked
her if she would like some tea or breakfast, but she had declined and went
to use the washroom. While she had been gone, Fraser had quickly pulled on
his jodhpurs and RCMP white issue T-shirt over his red long johns. 
        They had tea and shared breakfast, she had cooked them cheese
omelets and Fraser had been very appreciative, yet she sensed the Canadian
was holding back something from her. She had asked him out right what her
behavior had been while drugged, but he could only say it had put her in a
remarkably festive mood and left it at that. 
        "Are you still here?" Ray demanded as he came out of the bedroom
and moved over to the kitchen to toss his now empty coffee cup in the
trash. 
        He reached up and pulled down a ceramic cup, one with a Mountie
and a polar bear in a humorous scene that Fraser had brought back from
Canada for him, and started to prepare his coffee. 
Chang watched him drop a spoonful of the instant coffee into the cup, add
water from the tap, then reach into a drawer and pull out a box of
Smarties. He methodically dropped a select four or five into the cup, from
the handful he had poured into his hand, and then the rest went into his
mouth. He reached for a wooden spoon; from a jar of utensils he kept on
the counter, and stirred the coffee slowly, presumably to mix the
chocolate in. He took a sip; decided it was good enough and placed it in
the microwave for a few seconds. 
        "That is disgusting." Chang finally decided with a disapproving
frown as he removed the cup and again sipped the now hot brew. 
        "Hey!" he warned walking over to her. "Don't talk ta me about
disgustin'. Anyone dat uses Bat time to wake up is disgustin' enough." He
settled on the sofa and took another sip, before offering the cup to her.
"Try it, den ya can judge." She shook her head adamantly, besides her
coffee cup was still half full. 
        "Gross." 
        "Try it or shut up." He challenged and she could not pass up the
dare. She snatched the cup from him and took a tentative swallow. Okay so
it wasn't bad, kind of sweet, that didn't mean she had to admit it wasn't
disgusting. She shrugged and handed the cup back. 
        "It's...different." She allowed and he grinned. 
        "Ya like it." He decided smugly. "Now, why are ya here again?" 
        "I thought of some ideas last night that might help us figure this
case out." 
        "All on yer own did'ja?" Ray smirked ad she glared at him. 
        "Yes, Detective." She retorted. "Unlike you I don't need a Mountie
to do my work for me." 
        She expected him to be furious with her, she hadn't meant that the
way it sounded, well maybe she did but he made her so mad sometimes. She
knew from his arrest record, before he was ever partnered with the
Canadian, that he was considered one of the best in the field at solving
cases and catching the bad guys, even if it meant putting up with his
smart mouth and disgust of paperwork. Instead of getting upset however,
Ray just leaned back and rested his cup on his knee. 
        "Watch it." He warned calmly. "Dat's real close ta crossin' da
line on rule number two, dere." 
        "Oh!" she exclaimed standing up and moving further away before she
slapped the smug look off his face. "Why are you so impossible? I'm trying
to do a job here, why do you have to be so...so mean to me?" Ray set his
cup on the table and stood up slowly. 
        "Aww, did I hurt da detective's sensitive feelings?" he inquired
boldly and Chang recognized her own words being thrown back in her face.
She lowered her eyes and bit her lip, refusing to rise to the bait. 
        "What do you have against me, besides being a woman?" she
demanded, keeping her gaze on the patterns of the carpet, rather then meet
his condescending gaze "I'm not trying to come between you and Sergeant
Fraser. I don't ask anything but that you treat me fairly. I know I still
have a lot to learn..." She finally raised her eyes to his, surprised that
there was not mockery in them, only remorse. "I...I just wanted you to
teach me to me a good detective, like you." 
        "I can't do dat." Ray stated quietly and turned away, moving back
to the kitchen and pulling out a loaf of bread to pop into his toaster. 
        "Why?" she cried in frustration and followed him. "Do you really
think I don't have the stuff to make it?" 
        "No, no." Ray returned, though he kept his back to her as he
stared down at the toaster. "Ya'll make a real good Detective, ya got good
instincts, ya question everythin' ya see or hear and yer not too bad at
research and figurin' things." 
        "Then why are you trying to destroy my confidence?" she protested
moving to stand just a few feet from him. "Why do you treat me like I
haven't got the sense to come out of the rain?" 
        "I..." she watched his fingers grip the counter fiercely and his
body tense dramatically. "I don't mean ta do dat. I...ya gotta get used ta
people second-guessin ya if ya wanna be good at dis. A lot of da time da
only people who will believe in you is you and ya gotta just let everyone
else's talk roll off yer back." 
        "So...so you're actually treating me like dirt to help me adjust?"
she commented in disbelief. 
        "Tara, ya...ya don't understand." Ray stated and she was shocked
that he had used her given name, for it was the first time he had not
referred to her as just Chang. She moved closer, not willing to let this
chance go by. 
        "Explain it to me, then." She requested endearingly. "I want to
learn from you, Ray. I want to be a good detective, the best, like you
are." 
        "I am not the best!" Ray exclaimed as the toast popped up, but he
ignored it and pushed away from the counter to stalk back to the living
room. "I'm not da best at anything. If ya wanna learn from a master den
talk to Fraser, not me." He shook his head contritely. "I can't teach ya
anything, Chang, except how ta screw up." He dropped onto the sofa and
lowered his head into his hands. After a few moments she slowly settled
beside him. 
        "You're not a screw up." She insisted firmly. "Your record speaks
for itself. Four citations of bravery, including the one you received from
the Canadian and American Governments for your part in recovering that ten
million in gold from the..." 
        "Dat was different!" Ray almost screamed. "I didn't even wanna be
on dat stupid ship but Fraser talked me into it." He shook his head.
"Look, I Can. Not. Teach ya anything. I Will. Not. Be responsible, do ya
understand?" 
        "Responsible for what?' she asked perplexed. "For me being a good
cop?" 
        "Damnit Lee, drop it will ya?" he shouted, bolting from the sofa
and moving to stand by the window, where the sun had finally risen over
the horizon. Chang stared at him puzzled. 
    "Who's Lee?" she asked, curious. 
        "What?" he returned, glancing back at her, just as confused. 
        "You called me Lee, who's Lee?" The detective turned away from her
again and shook his head. 
        "No body." He muttered. "Just, leave, okay? I ain't in da mood to
go over yer ideas anyway." She moved to stand behind him. 
        "Is Lee why you don't like me?" she questioned gently. "Did she do
something to hurt you or betray your trust and now you don't trust me?"
Ray's jaw tightened and he refused to answer. "I have a right to know why
you hate me so much, Kowalski!" 
        "I don't hate you." He murmured. "Please, just drop it. I don't
wanna talk about it." 
        "Maybe you should." She charged. "Maybe it will clear the air
between us and we can do our jobs." She raised her hand to touch his arm
but he flinched away from her. "Maybe be friends, even." She waited
quietly as she watched a hundred different emotions pass over his face,
until finally he allowed his head to drop and he gripped the sill almost
painfully. 
        "Lee..." he whispered reverently. "Lee Sung Nugyen. She...she was
my first female partner and the only one...." He shook his head. "The only
one I ever got killed." Chang's eyes widened but she remained silent and
allowed him to continue. "She...my first partner, who got assigned wit me
straight out of da police academy was John Petty. Me and him were pretty
good friends, but we kinda had a falling out over some stupid thing I did,
dat they awarded me a medal fer." 
        "The kids in the warehouse?" she inquired and he nodded. 
        "See, John didn't like playin' second fiddle ta anyone, and I
don't know if he was just jealous of da attention I got fer awhile or if
he just resented me fer not tellin' him what I was gonna do so he could be
part of it." Ray released the windowsill and started to pace, his
restlessness finally winning over his will to stay still. "John,
he...well, I didn't even think about what I was doin' dat day. I just knew
I had ta get dose kids out. Anyway, dey made me out ta be a hero and John
wasn't fer dat at all. He started talkin' me down, tellin' everyone I was
some kinda manic super cop." Ray shrugged wistfully. "Some people believed
him, others seemed ta look up to me." 
        "Like Lee Sung?" Chang guessed and Ray nodded. 
        "She was fresh outta da academy and she had begged ta be partnered
wit me, because of all da fuss everyone was makin.' Hell, I was just doin'
my job, but she had me on dis pedestal like I really was Super Cop." He
grinned. "Fer awhile it was kinda flatterin' y'know ta have a young rookie
believe in ya so unconditionally." 
        "Everyone wants to be a hero to someone, Ray." Chang offered,
noticing that he didn't even glance at her for using his first name, so
deep into his past he was throwing himself. 
         "She...she started actin' like me on da job, goin' on her gut
like I often did and to hell wit procedures." He continued. "Don't get me
wrong, most times I went strictly by da book, y'know, but every cop...most
cops anyway, have a sense when it's time ta tow da line and a time ta step
around it, y'know?" Chang nodded. " We were a good team, and I knew I
could count on her ta watch my back, just like she knew I would be dere ta
watch hers. We were respondin' ta a robbery at a local liquor store just
around the block from where we were crusin'. We got dere and I could see
the guys inside were hyped up on something, probably smack or crack, cause
dey were swinging dey're weapons around and screamin' at da people
inside." Ray's voice cracked and he dropped in mid pace onto the sofa.
Chang walked over and settled beside him, not bothering to try and touch
him again as she had earlier, just offering a knowledge that she was there
if he needed her. 
        "What happened?" she pressed softly and he shook his head. 
        "I told her ta wear her vest." He muttered wretchedly. "A hundred
times I told her to wear her vest. We're not bullet proof, I'd say and
she'd just laugh and say she had no worries with me around." Ray's hands
combed over his face, as though trying to physically wipe the memory away.
"She...she went around ta cover da back and I took da front. We...we
shoulda waited fer back up but...deese guys were gettin' ready ta kill
someone, I could feel it, and I couldn't just stand by and let it happen."

        Ray started to squeeze at the bridge of his nose, a technique
Chang herself recognized and used to keep from crying. 
         "I knew if Lee was true ta form, she'd make some noise in da back
as she came in, divertin' dey're attention long enough fer me ta get
inside and try and get em' down. But I hesitated, I hadn't looked hard
enough at first ta realize dere were three guys not two and I knew I
couldn't get them all, even if I hit everything I aimed for. I heard da
gun go off while I was still outside da front door." 
         A tear slipped out from under his lowered lashes and he pressed
his fists against them. 
        "Two shots, one of 'em had taken out da third guy, and I managed
ta nail the other two when I burst in, by sheer surprise. But... backup
arrived just as I moved in and...and while da scum bags were bein' dragged
out, I saw...I saw Lee on da floor behind one of da shelves. She...she had
dis look of surprise in her eyes, like...like she couldn't believe she'd
been hit. She'd been expectin' me ta back her up she....she wasn't wearin'
a vest because she knew I'd be dere and...I wasn't." He was crying openly
now and Chang regretted ever having pressed him to relate such a painful
memory. "I told her a hundred times ta wear her vest. I...I shoulda waited
fer back up I...I should gone in da moment I knew she'd made it inside
I..." he shook his head. 
        "Ray, it wasn't your fault." Chang assured. "Things like that
happen in this kind of job. You can't be responsible for a situation going
bad." 
        "She wanted ta be like me!" Ray cried. "Don't ya get it? She
wanted ta be like me and I taught her everything I knew, including how ta
jump in headfirst without lookin'. She died because I wasn't dere ta
protect her like I should have. She died thinkin' she was invincible
because she thought I was. She died because of one stupid move in my life
dat made me a hero, and I will not let dat happen again." 
        Chang sat quietly as Ray wiped angrily at his tears and then
slumped back against the sofa. Now at least she understood his reluctance
to work with her, but that didn't mean she would stop trying to win his
approval and his respect. No matter what he thought about himself, Ray
Kowalski was a brave and intelligent man; he was a damn fine cop and an
even finer human being. Chang could still not help but admire him. 
        "I'm not fresh out of the academy, Ray." She informed, choosing
her words carefully "I'm not some rookie on her first case, I've been at
this for seven years now and I am ready, according to me and my superiors
to make the jump to detective. Now, you don't want to help me, you have
that right, but that doesn't mean I won't still learn from you from you
and Fraser both. You can't stop me from watching you and you can't stop me
from respecting you, no matter how mean you are to me." 
        Ray raised his gaze to stare at her, a complexity of emotions
flickering in the steel blue eyes that held her attention so often.
Finally he nodded. 
        "Promise me ya will always wear yer vest." He murmured. "Promise
ya won't do anythin' dat might get ya killed, Tara." 
        "I can't promise the second request," she replied. "Because being
a cop is in itself a risk, but I will promise to always wear my vest on
duty." She was surprised when Ray extended his hand to her. She wrapped
her fingers around his, tentatively. 
        "Den I promise ta stop bein' such an ass ta ya." He returned.
"Okay, partner?" Her smile was brighter than the sun itself and he
couldn't help but respond to it with one of his own. 
        "It's a deal, partner." She agreed happily, then unable to contain
herself she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. He laughed then
quickly disentangled himself. 
        "Hey, now." He warned. "None of dat stuff, you'll get me in
trouble wit Frannie." She chuckled and tried to nod solemnly, but ended up
laughing instead. 
  

        "Frannie!" Ray protested pulling away from his eager fiancé and
moving further across the sofa where they had been necking. She seemed to
have gotten over whatever mood she had been in the last week or so and was
back to her old frisky self. 
         "What now?" she demanded, her patience had just about run out! It
seemed she was back to square one, playing tricks to get the detective to
sleep with her. It had been almost four months since they had last made
love and she about had it. "You don't have to work. No one else is here
and we are engaged Ray." She had made sure everyone had decided to go out
for the evening, since she couldn't ever nail Ray down at his apartment
without Fraser stopping by unexpectedly. 
         "I know dat." He replied, as he started tucking in his T-shirt,
trying not to look at the deliciously exposed flesh across from him. 
         "Den what is it?" Francesca bolted to her feet and started
buttoning her shirt angrily. "Don't you find me attractive anymore?" She
heard Ray groan and turned to see his pained expression. 
         "Don't go dere, Frannie." He requested. "You know I think yer
beautiful and sexy and all of dat." 
         "Then why won't you make love to me?" she almost screamed her
voice heightened by frustration as Ray hung his head in his hands. A
thought dawned on her and she started to tremble. "Is...have you found
some one else?" 
         "No!" Ray denied hotly, also bolting to his feet before her. "God
Frannie! How can you....? Dere's no one but you, I don't...I would never
cheat on you, or anyone else." Francesca's anger and frustration was
taking over and she heard herself saying things before she could think
them through properly. 
         "You never cheated on Stella?" she accused, trying to ignore the
trauma that she watched cross his face, the intense pain in his steel blue
eyes. "With all the problems you two had? Ya even said you guys stopped
havin' sex for almost a year before you actually divorced, are ya telling
me you never found relief elsewhere?" Francesca watched Ray's hands and
jaw clench in anger. 
         "No." he denied firmly. "I never cheated on Stella, even when we
stopped makin' love. Even after da divorce. I loved Stella and I couldn't
betray her like dat. I never cheated on her until...." He paused and
looked away for a moment, before returning his gaze to hers and Francesca
flinched at the fury and pain his eyes held. "Until you, Frannie."
Francesca gasped, she had assumed there had been others, surely he
had....he couldn't mean she was the only other person he had ever slept
with, other than his ex-wife. 
         "Yer lyin'."  She decided. "No way a man would go dat long...deny
himself...." 
         "I never said I denied myself, Frannie." Ray corrected coldly. "I
just said I never slept wit anyone after Stella until you." Francesca
blushed. "Fraser ain't exactly Mr. Promiscuity, but you don't call him a
liar, do ya?" 
         "I...I..." Francesca didn't know what to say. He was right; she
never challenged Fraser's almost puritan ways, why was she questioning
Ray's? 
        It was possible, as much as he loved Stella that he really didn't
have sex with another woman because he was hung up on his ex-wife. But
Francesca had seen the way he chased women, she paused, and the way he was
turned down. When she thought of it, Ray had not pursued her the flagrant
way she watched him chase other women. He seemed to enjoy his bold
approach because...because he knew they would turn him down. He hadn't
been ready to move on because he was still in love with Stella, and he was
just playing a part expected of him. 
         "What's the matter, Frannie?" Ray demanded, bringing her back
into their argument. "Don't I get the same privileges as da Mountie? Don't
you wanna put me on a pedestal like ya have him?" 
         "I...I don't feel dat way about Fraser anymore." She denied, her
mind working furiously as she tried to find a way to diffuse this
situation before it became too destructive to them both. "Ray I..." 
         "You still love him, don't ya Francesca?" Ray challenged and she
blinked at his formal use of her name. "Yer still in love wit da Mountie
an' yer takin' it out on me." 
         "I am not in love wit Fraser!" she declared. "I love you." 
         "Yah, I can tell dat real well." Ray muttered grabbing up his
coat and shrugging into it as he headed for the door. Francesca chased
after him. 
         "Why don't you want to have another baby?" she demanded and
watched him halt in his tracks and turn back to her. 
         "I never said I didn't." he denied confused. 
         "Ya did when ya were under those drugs last week." She convinced.
"Ya said you were afraid of makin' love ta me because of makin' another
baby." Actually he hadn't said quite that but she was grasping at straws
now. 
         "Like I knew what I was sayin'?" he stared at her in disbelief.
"Frannie, I don't even remember dat, and I even asked ya if I said
anything ta make ya upset and ya said no. Ya just kept givin' me da cold
shoulder and now yer all warm again. Well, dat's a game, dat I ain't got
time for." He turned on his heel and headed for the front door again. 
         "Damnit Ray!" she exclaimed running around him and blocking his
exit. "Why do you have'ta run from everything? Why can't you just talk to
me?" 
         "Talk to you?" Ray demanded in disbelief. "Ya accuse me of
cheatin' on ya, you call me a liar to my face and ya want me ta talk to
ya? All right Ms. Vecchio, how's dis fer talkin'? I'm not ready ta make
love again, I'm sorry yer feelin's are gettin' hurt, but dat's the way I
feel." Francesca's heart fell as his voice cracked with emotion. "I can't
stop seein' you fall over those stairs. I can't get rid of the look on yer
face when ya found out our baby died and ya blamed me fer it. I go to his
grave site every damn day tryin' ta make sense of why he died when he
never even had a chance to live, and you know what I've come up with?"
Francesca stepped toward him, watching the single tear start down his
cheek, as she reached to comfort him. Ray pulled away from her and stepped
back. 
         "Don't do this, Ray." She pleaded. "Please don't..." But the
detective was too far-gone, too caught up in his own anguish for her words
to reach him. 
         "I came up wit the fact dat I am a screw up, Frannie." He
declared. "I tried ta have kids and play da happy family man wit Stella,
it didn't work. I took on some one else's identity, to try and become
someone other than who I am, and it didn't work. I have done nothing but
disappoint people my entire stinkin' life and I've already caused you and
yer family more problems den I'll ever make up fer. Dat's what I think
about, Frannie. Dat's what makes me do da things I do." 
         "Ray, please, yer not a screw up I just..." Francesca offered but
he was already pushing past her to the front door. 
         "You don't trust me, Frannie." He murmured painfully. "Ya think I
would sleep wit someone else when I have you..." he turned and she felt
her own eyes tear up at his anguished expression. "No one could compete
wit you, Sweetness, don't you know dat? Not even Stella, not in my heart."
He shook his head sadly. ""I can't stay wit someone who doesn't trust me,
who...who calls me a liar. I'm sorry Frannie, I'm sorry ya ever met me,
sorry I ever hurt ya. 
         "Ray!" Francesca cried as she watched the man she loved walk out
the door. She ran after him but he was already in the GTO and speeding
away. "Damn you, Ray Kowalski! You aren't gonna do dis to me again damn
you!" she sobbed and hid her face in her hands. 
  

        The following Monday at the station, Francesca was still very
upset about Ray walking out on her Friday night. He had not called or come
by the rest of the weekend, so they could make up, so she decided to stay
mad at him a little while longer and see how he liked it. When Fraser and
his partner walked past her desk that day, she acknowledged Fraser
cheerfully and completely ignored Ray. Then she pointedly turned her back
on him to answer the phone. Ray waved a frustrated hand at her and
continued on his way, with Fraser following 
        They headed, as usual for the break room, where Ray poured himself
some coffee. Diefenbaker jumped up and placed his paws on the counter next
to him and he tilted his head closer to the wolf. 
        "You still like me, don't you Dief?" he asked the animal, who
responded with a wet kiss and a soft whine before dropping to the floor
again. 
        "Diefenbaker has grown quite fond of you, Ray." Fraser assured,
shaking his head in polite refusal as Ray held up the coffeepot toward
him, he did not care for the precinct's unique brew; he found even his
stomach had trouble digesting it. He could not see how his partner managed
to consume it; of course the detective did tend to empty vast amounts of
sugar or chocolate candies into his servings. 
        "Glad to know I have someone in my corner, even if it is just a
wolf." Ray grumbled as he started back out of the room, assuming Fraser
would follow. 
        "You have more than Diefenbaker in your corner, Ray." He reminded,
hurt that the detective would so obviously over look their close
friendship. He watched Ray pause half way down the corridor and stare down
into the dark liquid his Styrofoam cup held. Diefenbaker had come to a
halt a few feet ahead of them, turning back to see why the men were no
longer following. 
        "I know dat, buddy." Ray finally admitted quickly, tossing an
affectionate arm across the Mounties's shoulders. "Wit you and Dief, I
don't need anyone else, I got it made." Fraser smiled slightly but saw
through his friend's façade. 
        "Has something occurred between you and Francesca, Ray?" He asked
gently and felt his partner's arm drop from around him. "She seems upset
with you?" 
        "She's more upset over somethin' not occurin' Benton Buddy." Ray
sighed as they passed the civilian aid's desk and Ray kept his gaze from
meeting Francesca's. He understood her frustration, but she had to
understand his as well, something's you just had to be patient about. 
        "I am afraid I do not understand, Ray." Fraser admitted and Ray
shook his head declining to answer. "I do not mean to pry." 
        "No, yer good, Frase, really." Ray assured as they reached his
desk again and he set his coffee down. "It...it's just not somethin' I
wanna talk about here at work, where we can be over heard, y'know? Later
buddy, promise." 
        "Understood, Ray." Fraser agreed. "Although you do not have to
confide in me if it is something deeply personal that you would prefer to
keep to yourself. I fully understand your right to privacy, I only wish to
help if I can." 
        "I know, Fraser." Ray warranted. "Yer my best friend, if I was
gonna tell anyone about it I'd tell you. I mean, you've been real helpful
lettin' me cry on yer shoulder, or vent when I needed, a real buddy, I
just wish I could do more fer you ya know?" 
        "Ray, you do a great deal for me." Fraser promised with genuine
affection. "I assure you there is no one else I trust more than you, no
one else that I can confide in or makes me feel as needed as you do and I
do appreciate that." 
        "Yah, well..." Ray muttered lowering his eyes almost shyly in the
face of such praise. "Don't get all mushy on me, especially not here at da
station-people will talk." Fraser grinned. 
        "Understood." He replied calmly, knowing how very uncomfortable
his partner and friend was with any sort of praise. "Perhaps I shall go
and see how Detective Chang is doing with Mort." Ray nodded, one good
thing about having the female detective, Ray could send her to the morgue
for information in their cases, since she was technically in training and
she also didn't have the offence that Ray did about being around dead
bodies. 
        "You do dat, Buddy." He returned as he set his coffee on the desk
and reached for one of the files. "I'm gonna finish up some paper work." 
        "Very well, Ray." Fraser agreed and set off to find Detective
Chang. Ray still had a sneaking suspicion that his favorite Mountie and
the new girl had a mutual attraction going and he was wondering if Fraser
was ever going to get the guts to act on it. 
        "Ray!" a familiar voice cried and his head shot upwards to see
Stella Kowalski- Vecchio hurrying toward him. She looked wonderful in a
tastefully tailored rose colored mini dress. He stood just as she threw
her arms around him and giggled in delight. "You are a sight for sore
eyes." 
        "Stell." He greeted surprised, as he stepped back from her to
maintain some distance between them, since he knew Francesca would be
watching. "Ya look...ya look great! Where's Vecchio?" 
        "At home." She dismissed impatiently. "I came by to take you to
lunch so we could catch up." Ray stared at her confused. 
        "Um...on what, Stell?" he asked quietly. "We never really talked
before ya left and...well...I just don't..." 
        "I plan to remedy that starting right now." Stella insisted
slipping her hand into his. "I want you to tell me everything that's been
going on." She giggled and hugged him again. "I can't believe how much I
missed you." Ray couldn't believe it either. Was this his Stella? The
Stella? The same Stella that had tore his heart out and stomped all over
it and who had always treated him such a high level of intolerance and
disdain? 
        "Yer...yer not dyin' are ya Stell?" he asked worried, finding the
only reason he could for her behavior and she laughed. 
        "Oh Ray, you always did have such a weird sense of humor." She
decided. "No, I'm perfectly happy. In fact, I feel better than I have in
years." 
        "Like marriage ta Vecchio do ya?" Ray concluded reluctantly. 
        "Oh, Ray's a pretty good guy, a big flirt, but then what man
isn't?" She smiled and caressed his cheek. "Except for you of course, you
always kept those lovely eyes just for me, didn't you baby?" 
        "Yah, Stell." Ray admitted. "Lot of good it did me." 
        "Oh, let's not go there." She pouted. "I have loads of news to
tell you and I want you to come to lunch with me." 
        "I...I'd love ta come to lunch wit ya Stell, but I'm kinda backed
up here at da moment." He excused. "Can't ya just tell me yer news here?"
Stella considered that idea for a moment then sighed in defeat. 
        "Oh...all right." She agreed. "I don't want to take you from your
work, but I did want to show you this." She pulled a small yellow sleeper
out of the bag she had been carrying. Ray stared at it, his eyes growing
wide as he struggled to comprehend. "Well? Aren't you excited? Can you
guess my news?" When he still didn't respond she chuckled. "I'm pregnant,
silly! Ray and I are going to have a baby! You'll be an uncle, well once
you marry Francesca anyway." 
        "A...an uncle." Ray stammered relieved his desk was directly
behind him and he had something to hold onto to keep him upright. "B...but
you never wanted kids." 
        "Oh, that was before, when I was working." She insisted calmly.
"Now that my biological clock is ticking I've reconsidered. I'll admit
when I found out I was pregnant I was furious, but then, I got used to the
idea and...well, I'm looking forward to being a Mother. Ray is ecstatic of
course." 
        "Of course." Ray mimicked, unable to tear his eyes away from the
sleeper, until she finally placed it back in the bag. When he raised his
eyes to hers she frowned at the pain she saw behind them. 
        "Ray?" she asked worried. "Are you all right? You look sick." 
        "Sick?" Ray repeated dazed. No, he wasn't sick he was in shock.
Stella was going to have a baby, Vecchio's baby, not his. Stella was going
to be a mum, but he and Frannie had lost their baby. "I...I gotta go,
Stell. Con...congratulations ta you and...and Vecchio." He stumbled away
from her and headed for the precinct's bathroom, a concerned Francesca
watching him closely. 
        "How could you be so insensitive?" the pretty Italian demanded,
having heard the exchange and rising from her chair stormed over to the
other woman. "You know how much Ray wanted to have kids with you, but ya
denied him. Now yer throwin' my brother's conquest in his face? How could
you?" 
        "Now just a minute!" Stella protested. "I told Ray because I
thought he would be happy for us and if he's upset because I'm having
another man's child then you had better ask yourself why, since you are
his fiancé." She tossed her hair away from her shoulders defiantly. "Ray
needs to realize that we will never get back together, Francesca and if
that's too painful for him, then you don't have much of a man to fuss
over. He's weak, he has always been weak, because he can't let go of
things and move on and one day you'll realize that you are just as
pathetic to put up with him." Stella's head reared back with the force of
the blow as Francesca's palm met the taller woman's cheek, just as Fraser
and Tara rounded the corner. 
        "I'll forgive you that one." Stella decided raising her fingers to
the cheek, which now held the red palm print of Francesca's hand, though
her eyes glowered dangerously. "I care about Ray, despite what you think,
I will always care about him, but I also know how easy it is to fall for
him and how hard it is letting him go, or seeing the truth about him.
Maybe you will never see it, maybe he won't ever expose that part of
himself to you as he did me, but if he does then you'll understand that I
speak the truth." 
        "You were the one that hurt him!" Francesca accused furious. "Ya
stepped all over him on yer climb to the top and never gave him a second
thought, despite how much he loved you. You are the one who needs ta look
in the mirror and see what an insensitive bitch ya really are." 
        "Francesca." Fraser cautioned stepping forward between the two
warring women, just as Lieutenant Welsh headed toward them, his expression
grim. "Perhaps we can continue this discussion somewhere else." 
        "That would be appropriate." Welsh agreed, glowering at Francesca.
"Keep it outta my precinct Miss. Vecchio." 
        "I was just leaving anyway." Stella decided firmly, just as Ray
Kowalski appeared and walked toward them. Welsh glared at him as well. 
        "Is there a problem I should know about, Detective?" he demanded
and Ray looked at him confused. 
        "Um...no." he returned puzzled. Welsh nodded and turned back
toward his office. 
        "Keep it that way." He warned as Ray glanced at the others. 
        "What'd I miss?" he questioned curious and Francesca lowered her
eyes as Ray observed the red mark on Stella's cheek. He reached out to
touch it and she moved away from his touch. "Stell?" 
        "Nothing, Ray." She assured quietly as she tried to offer him a
smile. "Feeling better?" 
        "Yah." Ray admitted, still glancing between Francesca and his
ex-wife. "I think I got a bad batch of coffee or somethin'." Stella
smirked and patted his arm affectionately. 
        "I hope you feel better then." She offered flicking a cold gaze
toward the smaller Italian woman who had returned to her desk and sat with
her eyes glued to her computer. "I assume you'll be coming to dinner?" 
        "I dunno." He returned, still suspicious that something had
occurred between the two women. "Depends on what I get wrapped up here."
She nodded in understanding. 
        "Yes, I know police work takes up a good deal of your time, it
always did." She added pointedly with another look toward Francesca,
before she walked off. Fraser and Chang decided to move away and converse,
as Ray perched on the corner of Francesca's desk, folded his arms and
stared down at her. 
        "Wanna explain dat to me, Frannie?" 
        "No." she returned coolly. "I don't want to explain anything to
you at all." She started to type something into her computer, keeping her
eyes on the screen. "I assumed ya were upset over Stella's news, I guess I
was wrong." She sniffed. "Not that it's any of my business anymore." 
        "How long ya gonna stay mad at me, Frannie?" Ray requested
quietly. "Cause if it's gonna be a while, I gotta tell ya, I'm not up fer
it and I might have other plans." 
        "What other plans?" she demanded finally meeting his gaze. 
        "How long ya gonna stay mad?" he repeated his question and she
turned away. 
        "Until you apologize." She returned stiffly and he sighed. 
        "I got nothin' ta apologize fer, Francesca." He informed firmly,
lengthening her name intentionally. "And if dat's what yer expectin', den
you'll have a real long wait." 
        "Then I guess we have nothing further to discuss, do we?" she
rebuked, blinking away the sudden tears that stung her eyes. Ray unfolded
his arms stood, then leaned down and kissed her cheek regretfully. 
        "Guess not." He agreed softly and walked back to his desk. 
         Francesca willed herself not to turn and look at him. Surely he
wasn't going to leave it at that?  The way he kissed her, it was like he
was saying goodbye for good. She pressed her eyes closed a few more times
but could not dispel the tears and finally had to rise and hurry to the
lady's room to cry. 
         Was he really going to let it end like that? Didn't he love her
anymore? She washed her face and wiped it dry, then stared at her
remorseful reflection. She had only thought...She had only been trying to
get him to admit that she had a right to be angry, that they needed to
discuss what they were feeling. Instead she had pushed him away. He had
told her many times that he didn't play games and Francesca hadn't taken
him seriously, now she may have lost him forever. 
        She tossed the towel in the waste bin and hurried out to
apologize, she didn't want to loose him, he was too important to her. She
let her temper get the better of her and now she was paying the price. She
hurried toward the squad room, just in time to see Fraser's departing
back. She hurried after the trio but was not fast enough, and when she
stepped out into the parking lot the GTO had already pulled away. 
  

         "Ray?" Fraser called as he knocked on the detective's apartment
door for the third time. He could hear the music coming from inside, a
soft haunting ballad that seemed to tear at his heartstrings. "Ray, I know
you are in there, please open the door." Finally, the music was turned
down and the door flung open. Fraser stared into the face of a man that
should be his friend and partner but looked nothing like him. 
         "Hiya Frase." The man greeted in Ray Kowalski's smiling voice.
"Com'ahn in, sorry ta keep ya waitin', I was busy in da bathroom." 
         "Ray?" Fraser began stepping inside cautiously, as the other man
moved back toward the kitchen table, where a large black duffel bag and
assortment of clothes and equipment were gathered. 
         The man before him offered very little resemblance to the man he
knew and Fraser fought to see his partner through the elaborately good
disguise. Ray's wildly blond locks had scalp and dyed a dark, handsome
auburn. His eyes, which must have been covered by contacts, were a deep
emerald green. He sported a matching beard, moustache and side burns, all
connected and neatly trimmed to frame his face, his unfamiliar face. 
         "What is going on, Ray?" Fraser finally asked as he watched his
friend continue to pack the duffel bag on the table. 
         "Oh, ya mean the new look?" Ray guessed with a grin. "It's fer an
assignment, buddy." 
         "What assignment, Ray?" Fraser demanded, confused. "I don't
recall Leftenant Welsh giving us... 
         "Not us, buddy, just me." Ray amended kindly as he pulled the
zipper across the bag to seal it then turned to move past Fraser to fetch
a drink from the fridge. He offered one to the Mountie who shook his head.
"I was offered a position wit the DEA, Fraser. I'm goin' undercover as a
narc." 
        Fraser stared at him in shock. The DEA was dangerous enough, but
undercover drug dealers and informants were all too often hurt or killed
on the job, why in the world had Ray taken this assignment and why hadn't
he mentioned it before? 
         "I...I don't understand, Ray." Fraser stammered. "H...How long
will you be doing this?" Fraser had assumed it would be just a few weeks
or so, but he was stunned when Ray replied. 
         "It's permanent, Fraser." He stated quietly, not quite meeting
the Mounties's eyes. 
         "If...if you are going undercover then...then are we still
partners?" Fraser asked trying to quell the trembling inside him. He
hadn't felt this worried or lost since the time on the Henry Allen, when
he and Ray were going to accept different transfers. 
         "Like you said when we were in Canada, Buddy." Ray offered.
"We'll always be partners, even if we don't see each other all the time or
we go in separate directions. But don't worry about havin' nothin' ta do
or no partner, Welsh told me dat Chang passed her Detective's exam and
he'd try and keep you and her together, if ya want. If dat doesn't work ya
can always speak ta Vecchio. He and Stella are movin' back here. You'll
have yer old partner back, maybe get him ta take my place at the precinct,
or rather his place...somethin' like dat." Ray grinned but he couldn't
quite hold it up against the pain reflected in the Mounties's eyes. 
    "I don't want my old partner back, Ray." He stated, and Ray stared at
him surprised. "And as much as I appreciate Detective Chang's talents, I
don't want her as my partner either. I want you. Ray Vecchio and I will
always be friends, but you, you Ray Kowalski are my partner. How can you
just leave? Were you even going to tell me?" 
        Fraser was aware he sounded like a petulant child but he didn't
care. How could Ray do this? He had come back from Canada for Ray; he had
rejoined the RCMP and took a demotion for Ray here in Chicago. He gave
up...everything so Ray could be happy, and now he was leaving? 
         " I just decided on it today, Frase, and you'll be okay." Ray
decided moving back toward the living room. "You were fine when Vecchio
left, at least I'm tellin' ya before I go and not just takin' off without
warning." 
         "Oh, well, thank you so very much for your consideration Mr.
Kowalski." Fraser snapped and Ray glanced at him startled. He realized he
was probably the only person to ever see the emotional side of the Mountie
and for a moment he considered how much he would miss their closeness. 
     "Gee, dat sounded like sarcasm, buddy." He teased. "Not very Mountie
like at all." 
      "Ray!" Fraser declared exasperated as he followed his partner to the
sofa. "Why the sudden change? What about Francesca, Ray? I know you both
had a quarrel, but that is no reason to just take off. You have to talk it
out and..." 
         "Fraser, Frannie and I have said all we're gonna say to each
other." Ray decided firmly, he was not in the mood to discuss his former
fiancé. "She doesn't trust me and I can't...I can't trust myself not to
hurt her." 
         "So you are going to just throw it all away?" Fraser demanded
angrily. "Don't you realize how lucky you are to have found two great
loves in your life, Ray? Some people don't ever get a second chance like
that." 
         Ray stared at him and felt his stomach drop. Frase was speaking
from experience; he had lost the great love of his life. A cold hearted
woman who had tried to destroy him and Ray Vecchio in her quest for
revenge. 
         "Frase, I know..." he began but Fraser cut him off. 
         "No Ray you don't know." He refused. "You can't possibly know how
it feels to give your heart completely to someone and be betrayed by them.
Or to love someone so incredibly and know that you can never have them. 
         "Hey!" Ray demanded. "Back up! What da hell ya think I went
through wit Stella?" 
         "Stella didn't betray you, Ray, she merely divorced you." Fraser
stated coolly. 
         "It's the same damn thing! Ray declared his temper rising. "We
vowed to honor and cherish in sickness and in health to stay together with
only death comin' between us and she betrayed those vows." Ray's breathing
was growing faster with his oncoming fury. "She took those vows and she
walked all over them! She tore my heart out of my chest and left me
bleeding too pick up the pieces of a life she shattered! What the hell is
dat if it ain't betrayal? She betrayed me. She betrayed our love and
she...." 
         "Shattered your trust of others, Ray." Fraser resumed quietly and
watched his partner stare at him dumfounded. "How can you expect Francesca
to trust you when you don't trust her, Ray." 
         "I...that's not true I..." Ray stammered appalled. 
         "You don't trust her not to hurt you as Stella did." Fraser
reasoned. "You don't trust her to take those vows and keep them. That is
why you are running, Ray, because you know it is you that will betray your
love this time, because you are afraid of getting hurt again or of hurting
Francesca, so you are betraying the love both of you share by running
away." 
         "I...I'm not running I...I took an assignment." Ray deflected,
rising to stalk over to his window and stare out at the city.  Fraser
shook his head. 
         "Yes, just as you became Ray Vecchio to deal with the hurt you
felt as Ray Kowalski when Stella left you, now you are about to become
someone else as well to keep from getting hurt by the love Francesca has
offered you." Fraser rose and moved to stand behind his distraught friend.
"Ray, what is really behind all of this? What are you really afraid of?" 
     "Leave me alone, Fraser!" Ray demanded angrily. "I refuse to take
advice from someone who can't get past the greeting stage in a
relationship that involves a woman. Ya know Tara likes ya and you like
her, but ya put her off da way ta put off every woman.  Ya hide behind dat
uniform like some frightened kid instead of takin' a chance. You don't
know what you're talkin' about. Dis time you don't have all the answers
you..." 
         "Do you love her, Ray?" Fraser interrupted quietly and Ray
snapped his mouth shut. "Do you love Francesca?" 
         "Screw you, Benton Fraser." Ray defended. "You are not gonna play
yer guilt games with me, not now." Fraser grabbed his partner and spun him
around, surprising them both by his sudden break in composure. 
         "Do you love her or have you just been playing with her feelings,
Ray?" Fraser demanded coldly and for the first time, Ray was actually
afraid of the Mountie, afraid of the icy anger those cerulean blue eyes
pierced him with. "I hurt Francesca by being obtuse and ignorant to her
advances. I knew very well she wanted me and I tried to skirt the issue at
every cost to avoid getting involved or possibly giving her any kind of
encouragement. I hurt her because I was trying to be kind to her, I hurt
her because I wasn't ready for a relationship with her or anyone but I
hurt her because I cared so much for her and she was my best friend's
sister." 
         Ray blinked and tried to shake free of the Canadian's grip.
Usually he could keep his temper reasonably well during one of their
arguments, but the Mountie was getting physical now and Ray wasn't going
to take that from anyone, even if it was his best friend. 
         "Let go or you'll regret it, Fraser." He warmed, assuming the
Mountie would understand he meant business, but Fraser's response was to
toss him back against the wall, tightening his grip on his upper
shoulders. "Jesus Fraser! Get off of me before I kick you in da head!" 
         "I won't let you do this, Ray." Fraser insisted. "I won't let you
throw all of this away." 
         "Fraser get off me!" Ray struggled against him, the Mountie was
larger and stronger but an angry Chicago cop was nothing to sneeze at
either and gathering his strength he shoved Fraser hard, using the wall he
was up against as leverage, watching as Fraser stumbled backwards, barely
catching himself to keep from falling.  When Fraser took a step forward
Ray raised his fist in warning. 
         "Ray I..." Fraser stammered it seemed the shove had brought him
back to reality and he was forced to review his actions. 
         "I mean it, Fraser!" the detective threatened. "I'll nail ya,
right here, partner or not." Fraser stepped back and put his hands up
defensively as shame permeated him. 
         "I...I apologize Ray I...I did not mean to get physical." He
offered contritely and Ray slowly lowered his defensive posture, though he
continued to watch Fraser warily. "I...I don't know what happened I...I
have never..." 
         That was a lie before he could even finish it, he had let his
anger get the better of him once before, when he had been forced to
re-capture Gerrard. He had come close to killing the man himself. Now,
that anger had been exposed to Ray, his best friend and partner and Fraser
felt ashamed for loosing control. Ray had seen him angry before, Ray was
probably the only one he felt comfortable enough to show any of himself
to, but that did not excuse getting physically violent with the detective.

         "Frase?" Ray asked, cautiously bringing the Mountie out of his
self-incriminating revere. Fraser slowly looked up and met his friend's
gaze, despite the green contacts and beard he still could see the blond
detective reflected back. 
         "I...I apologize, Ray." He offered again moving to collect his
hat. "I...You must do what you feel is right. I won't bother you any
longer." Ray had cleared the sofa and was in front of the Canadian in a
flash, blocking his exit to the front door. 
         "Hey!" he cried defensively. "What is dis? Ya just dropped by fer
a drink and ta toss me up against da wall? Fraser, com'han! You never give
up dis easily, stick around and I'll let ya keep tellin' me off for
another few minutes at least before I pop ya." 
         "Ray." Fraser murmured his eyes lowered as he fidgeted with his
Stetson. "My actions are inexcusable I..." 
         "So are mine." Ray decided, refusing to move even an inch. "We're
both inexcusable, so who else will have us?" Ray was trying to lighten the
mood, he didn't want Fraser leaving on a sour note, but the Mounties's
lips didn't so much as twitch. "Fraser, please. Don't go away pissed at me
I...I don't know when I'll get ta see ya again." 
         "Whose fault is that?" Fraser asked defiantly, still refusing to
meet his friend's gaze, despite Ray's attempts. 
         "Aw...dat's not Buddies." He sighed. "Don't be like dat. I
already committed to the assignment. It doesn't mean we can't still be
friends." 
         "What about Francesca, Ray?" Fraser demanded, finally raising his
gaze to the detective's. "Are you even going to tell her you are leaving?"
Ray lowered his eyes and Fraser's lips tightened. You were just going to
leave then, without a word?" 
         "I...I can't talk to Frannie about this, Fraser." Ray explained.
"'How...how would I...she wouldn't understand." 
         "That would make two of us then." Fraser opted and Ray flinched
and moved away from the door. 
         "Fine, Fraser." He sighed. "Be dat way. I can't change yer mind
and you can't change mine, so I guess dis is it." 
         "You could change yours, Ray." Fraser reminded softly. "Just tell
them you don't want the transfer, you have done it before." 
          Both men grew quiet as they remembered a glorious time of
pirates, gold treasure and ghosts of the past. After a long moment, Ray
moved to the kitchen table and reached for the remainder of his
belongings, stuffing them into the bag with slow precision as Fraser
watched from doorway. Finally the Mountie put on his hat and opened the
door. 
         "Good bye, Ray." He offered quietly. "God Speed." Then after only
a moment's hesitation he went out and closed the door firmly behind him.
Ray Kowalski dropped into the chair beside him and stared at the
flashlight in his hands. 
         "So long Benton, Buddy." He whispered sadly. 
  

To Be Continued....