Day's End   This is a piece inspired by listening to Tara McLean at
work. That'll teach me. It's a 'missing scene' for Call ofthe Wild
somewhere between the ending and tag when Fraser and Ray head off
together. Plus, I figured it was good practice for Ray's POV, which I
struggle with constantly. Thanks to Kellie for a quick beta andmaking me
change the ending.
 
 Alliance has all rights to the Due South characters and concept. So I'm a
claim jumper...Archive? Yep, just let me know where. Comments? Hell Yes!
Meghan-black@excite.com. 
 
 Rated PG for declarations of love betweentwo men, hereto referred to as
The Mountie and He Who Must Be Slurped. <g>
 
 Day's End
 by Meghan Black
 
 The day had been long, exhilarating, exhausting and finally, peaceful.
Mounties set up camp for them and the smell of some sort of meat stewing
over the fire wafted between tents and horses to make Ray's mouth water.
No doubt that's where the wolf was, since Ray hadn't seen him for hours.
 
 He peered into the darkness, beginning to get worried about Fraser. The
Mountie wanted to make sure the horse he'd ridden earlier was bedded down,
so Ray had left Fraser to his solitary duties and gone back to the warm
campfire. Now, an hour later, it was full dark, cold enough to dull the
feeling in his fingers if he didn't hold them over the fire, and still no
sign of Fraser. 
 
 Ray mumbled something to himself about not being able to leave his
partner unattended, rubbed his hands together and was just hefting himself
up from the camp stool when the figure of Fraser came into view, the fire
casting a huge shadow behind him.
 
 "Was beginning to wonder if you'd ridden off into the sunset with that
horse," Ray said, settling back down by the warmth.
 
 Fraser didn't respond to the quip, but rather seated himself on the twin
to Ray's stool. This caused Ray to swing his gaze around expectantly. He
was surprised to see how tired Fraser looked. They'd been together for
months, through thick and thin, pirates and voodoo priests, but he didn't
think he'd ever seen Fraser look so...weary. His concern was instant.
 
 "What's the matter?" Ray was honestly confused. All in all it had been a
very productive day and the good guys had won. Not much more you could ask
for as a cop. Plus, they were in Canada. That alone should have had Fraser
dancing in the snow. 
 
 He'd expected Fraser to be in his element here, in this cold, barren,
white landscape that surrounded them. Just the sort of thing Fraser always
talked about missing when they'd sat companionably in front of a makeshift
fire in the Chicago parks. But, Fraser didn't seem to care that he was
actually *home*. There was something definitely going on in that beautiful
head.
 
 Yes, beautiful. Ray had gotten used to the idea that he was attracted to
Fraser. And mostly kept it filed in the drawer with missed opportunities,
regrets and wishful thinking. But, as realistic as Ray was able to be with
himself regarding the Mountie, he couldn't help the occasional caught
breath when Fraser walked into a room, all polished and shining, even in
his civvies. Or when Ray could be the cause of the rare brilliant smile
that Fraser would bestow upon him, a prize for his quick wit or soft
heart. 
 
 But the smile seemed to have gone back to Chicago, leaving Fraser's brow
drawn tight in deep thought as he stared into the fire. Ray thought the
shadows cast by the flame made Fraser look even more like some perfect
marble statue and had to stop himself from reaching out to see just how
smooth and cool Fraser's skin might be if he touched him.
 
 "Frase?" Ray prompted once more, his voice clearly showing the worry he
felt inside. Ray could see his breath linger between them for just an
instant. It had *almost* reached Fraser before dissipating in the crisp
air, misting down to the hard packed snow.
 
 Fraser twisted his neck in a quick jerk which resulted in a loud crack.
"Yes, Ray...I was just thinking...well, wondering actually." Fraser
continued to look into the fire, seemingly mesmerized by the crackling
tongues of orange and yellow and blue. Ray thought he would have to jump
start him again when that low, melodic voice continued.
 
 "Do you believe that love...a true love can last even after death?" 
 
 Whatever Ray had been expecting, he would have bet a year's wages this
was *not* what was gonna come out of the Mountie's mouth.
 
 "Sure," Ray said, surprising even himself. Why, he wasn't sure. Hell,
he'd told Fraser he believed in love at first sight. Love after life
seemed just as likely, he figured. "I mean if you finally find that person
you just can't live without...you know...who completes you...defines
you...I don't guess you'd let something like death separate ya, huh?"
Surely, this was as profound a state as Stanley Ray Kowalski had ever
attained. 
 
 This conversation was just too weird. The words he'd just spoken eerily
followed the path of his own thoughts over the past few days. Thoughts
he'd tried to put into words several times, but had either been
interrupted or lost somewhere in reality.
 
 Ray had realized this was exactly how he felt about Fraser. Together they
seemed more complete than apart. A better whole of two halves. At least
Ray felt that way. He wondered just how Fraser felt about being *his*
partner. Would he be glad to get back to Chicago, perhaps pick up his old
partnership with the real Ray Vecchio? Ray found the idea almost
unbearable. Life without Fraser would leave one helluva hole inside.
 
 When Ray turned his head from the fire and chanced a look at Fraser
again, he found those smoky blue eyes riveted on him. 
 
 "What?!" he asked, almost defensively. "If you don't like my answer you
shouldn't have asked?" 
 
 Fraser shook his head and smiled for the first time that evening. "No,
that's not it at all, Ray. I just find it most interesting that you should
feel so strongly about something ...." when he hesitated, Ray filled in
the blank.
 
 "About somethin' I don't know nothin' about?" With a roll of his
shoulder, Ray returned his gaze to the fire and poked at it with the stick
he'd been using to stir it back to life.
 
 He heard a gasp beside him. "No Ray, not at all. It's just you're always
so...practical. I guess I never thought you put much store in ephemeral
concepts such as eternal love, even unto death. But I should have
known...my mistake." 
 
 Fraser reached out and laid a hand on Ray's arm, stilling the jerky
movement he was making with the fire stick. "Please, I meant no offense.
I've just been thinking about things...my life...my Dad...and the love he
had for my mother, even though I never thought of them as...soulmates."
Fraser paused and licked his lips before turning back to the fire, but
leaving his hand on Ray's arm. "I've recently come to understand what that
kind of love can mean."
 
 Ray wasn't sure where this was going, but his heart was beginning to race
with the possibilities the conversation had presented. He knew he was
setting himself up for some major disappointment here, yet the thought of
missing yet another chance at happiness made his mouth dry and his pulse
pound.
 
 His mind jumped ahead to the near future, when it would be time to make a
decision. Return to Chicago...to the life he'd been trying to escape when
the opportunity to join the 27th got dropped in his lap? All of a sudden
that didn't seem like an option at all. Not if Fraser wasn't part of the
picture. 
 
 The pressure of Fraser's hand on his arm was comforting and natural. Ray
could have sat there in silence, the dull background sounds of camplife
and the soft crackling sound of the fire the only accompaniment to the
still night. But he was afraid. Afraid the way he'd always been afraid of
life. Afraid of winning Stella, afraid of losing Stella, afraid he wasn't
a good cop, afraid to talk to his Dad...afraid to tell Fraser how he
felt...and then of losing him. Not a thought he could entertain for long. 
 
 Well, he wasn't going to be afraid any longer. What'd he have to lose
anyway? 
 
 "You ever...you ever think you'll find a love like that?" It was a
reasonable question, right? What with the topic of conversation and all,
why wouldn't Ray be curious as to what had brought about this train of
thought?
 
 Fraser sighed and shifted on his stool, facing Ray...forcing Ray to turn
also. "It was a dream of mine once...but it seemed that was not something
life was going to offer me."
 
 Ray's heart crashed and burned. He shouldn't be surprised. So lost was he
in disappointment, however, that he almost missed Fraser's next words.
 
 "...until recently when I began to realize just how I felt about...about
you, Ray."
 
 His name brought Ray back to the here and now, but he had no idea where
Fraser had been headed.
 
 "Huh?" That Ray Kowalski...such a brilliant boy.
 
 Fraser cleared his throat and Ray felt compelled to pay attention this
time. How could he not take every opportunity to look into those kind,
blue eyes...that gentle, calm face? Who knew how much longer they had
together?
 
 "I said I've come to realize that I feel very...deeply for you...more
than a partner. More than a friend." 
 
 That fire must be making more noise than he realized, Ray thought. He
could have sworn...
 
 "And I didn't want you to go back to Chicago without knowing that
I...well, how I felt." 
 
 The whole world seemed to sit still and hold its breath, waiting for
Ray's reaction as Fraser's words sank in. Ray noticed the hand on his arm
had tightened. Gently he pulled his arm from under Fraser's touch, letting
the sleeve of his jacket slide beneath Fraser's warm hand. When bare flesh
met gloved fingers, Ray clasped Fraser's hand in his, trying to
communicate his feelings through pure touch. Impatiently, he yanked his
hand away quickly, divested it of the glove and returned it to be engulfed
in Fraser's warmth. 
 
 He'd touched Fraser before...there was always the opportunity for a slap
on the shoulder, a mock punch in the arm, even the occasional hug. But
never had their touch seemed so intimate as it did now. 
 
 "I'm not sure where you're going with this, Frase, but I gotta tell you
before we take off...I don't want to leave you, Fraser." Well, that hadn't
been *quite* as hard as he thought and the fear that had clinched his
stomach up like a ball of doughy paste relaxed a bit. But Ray knew there
was more to say. He rushed on before the courage he'd managed to screw up
decided to take a vacation.
 
 "Whether you come back to Chicago or I stay. What we got...it's too good
to end it here." There. And the earth hadn't opened up and swallowed him
either. Fraser's words had made him brave and Ray exhaled softly as he
reached up to touch Fraser's cheek, all pink from the northern cold.
 
 Fraser practically beamed. He leaned into Ray's touch, then turned to
rest his lips against the cold palm of Ray's hand. Not a kiss, but a
simple gesture of love and affection. Ray's eyes closed in bliss. But
Fraser wasn't done yet.
 
 "Likewise, I don't wish to end our time together." Fraser seemed to drift
off to another place as he released Ray's hand and returned his gaze to
the fire, seeming to see something Ray could only imagine. "My
parents...they seemed to have this connection...a love I never really knew
existed. Certainly partly due to the fact that my mother died when I was
so young, but also because I didn't think my dad capable of such depth of
feeling." 
 
 Ray watched Fraser talk animatedly, his hands moving and his head tilting
as he tried to get to the point. It made Ray warm inside that he knew his
Fraser so well.
 
 "Over the past few years, I've come to know him better...through his
journals, of course," Fraser said, looking over at Ray. Ray nodded. "Then
today...in the mine..." Fraser suddenly stopped and Ray wanted to prod him
on, but something about the look in Fraser's face told him this wasn't the
time. 
 
 The Mountie shook his head, as if clearing cobwebs and seemed to relax a
bit back onto his stool. "Anyway, it seems I've come to understand myself
better through our experiences and then while seeing to the horses, I
realized I couldn't let you go back to Chicago without letting you know."
 
 "Know what?" Ray squinted through the darkness, wanting so much to
understand what Fraser was trying to tell him.
 
 "That I love you."
 
 "Oh. Wow." Ray blew out a long breath, loudly. "Well..." He toyed with
the idea of drawing this out...making Fraser tell him just how much he
loved him, but the anguished look on Fraser's face of waiting for Ray's
reaction told Ray he should put the man out of his misery.
 
 "That's what I was trying to tell ya earlier I guess. I love you too." 
 
 Neither of them seemed to have adequate words to follow such heartfelt
declarations. Anything else seemed superfluous. Fraser's words...he'd told
Ray he loved him. Wasn't everything else a minor point? So what if they
froze in these positions.
 
 But, as much as Ray was basking in the glow of recent revelations, the
chill was seeping past the many layers he wore until he shivered
involuntarily.
 
 "You're cold," Fraser observed, seemingly immune himself to the climate
around them. "Let me warm you." 
 
 So simple a statement. So full of meaning. Ray could feel the crooked
smile he used to think was his best feature and squeezed Fraser's hand
before letting it go. 
 
 "What'd you have in mind?" Ray's heart was beating erratically again and
he felt the familiar rush of adrenaline. He had no idea how fast or slow
things were going to move from here.
 
 As innocent as ever Fraser explained the practical solution of zipping
their sleeping bags together to preserve warmth. He was just starting to
explain how fast the human body looses heat when Ray covered that
beautiful mouth with his hand. 
 
 "Wait..." he said, laughing. "That sounds great. Sounds cool. We can do
that." And he pulled Fraser up so they could head into the shelter...to
share a bed, makeshift as it was.
 
 Ray poked at the fire one last time, beating the last flare of life into
it before they retired. It was too late to play coy and he didn't really
want to anyway. He stomped his feet to bring circulation back, then turned
to Fraser, that silly grin still plastered on his face, this time tinged
with mischief he couldn't resist.
 
 "Besides, it beats the hell out of swinging from the side of a mountain."
 
 If Fraser even half suspected how scared Ray had been that they would be
parted forever, knew his partner as well as Ray suspected he did, he would
have also recognized the false bravado Ray used to hide behind in times of
stress. And Ray was sure he did. Fraser's look of reassurance and warmth
was unmistakable as they headed for the shelter.
 
 Blood thrummed through Ray's now very warm body at just the thought of
sharing a close space with Fraser. Fraser dressed in nothing but those red
longjohns was enough to thaw the bone chilling frost. 
 
 He wasn't sure what Fraser would expect from him now, but he was damned
sure what he wanted. Ray had been thinking of the beautiful Ben Fraser
touching him and being touched by him forever it seemed. He'd quit
analyzing his desire for the Mountie long ago, avoidance having always
worked well for him in the past. Since Ray had never, not even in his
dreams, expected his desire to come to any sort of fruition, it had been
moot anyway.
 
 Chancing a sidelong glance at Fraser, however, just reaffirmed that the
conversation by the fire had indeed occurred and the feeling was mutual at
least in that department. Fraser was flushed now, and Ray didn't think it
was the cold or the fire...at least he hoped not. 
 
 "Let's go talk about our future, Ben," Ray said, close to Fraser's ear,
liking the way his partner's first name sounded on his lips. 
 
 Fraser's hand tightened in Ray's and he turned to him with a perfect
lover's smile. "Yes, Ray...our future." 
 
 Ray had already climbed into the tent and Fraser was halfway through the
flap when Ray thought he heard his partner turn back into the night and
mutter a thank you...possibly to the starry night under which they'd come
together.
 End