Decisions, Decisions   Author's disclaimer: Although the story is
mine, it is a work of fiction based on the character of Due South. All
Characters portrayed here belong to Alliance. Please do not
print/copy/download or send any part of this story to anyone else, other
than for your personal enjoyment. Thank you. 
Author's notes:  This is a sequal to Second Chance and Key to His Heart,
I've had a few ask me to elaborate on that story so here it is and I hope 
you enjoy it.  Some minor mentions for MOTB, Victoria's Secret and  Ladies
Man This has an R rating for sexual content and language. Please please,
let me know what you think--I crave feedback. Thanks! 

Please contact me at perrymor@home.net 

 by Amethyst 
  
  
 
  

Decisions Decisions 

 
 
 
 

         Frannie glanced over at where Ray Kowalski was, for once, bent
studiously over a report that he was attempting to finish, and sighed.
They had been secretly dating for the past two months now and she had yet
to get the man to take her to bed. They had done some heavy necking and
petting in his car and on his sofa, but he always came up with an excuse
when she tried to push for more. If it was any other man, she might be
worried that he was gay, or he simply didn't find her attractive enough to
want to make love to her, but this was Ray, her Ray and she could read him
like a book. He was right about wearing his emotions on his sleeve, she
saw her share of them in the nights they had spent together, saw how much
he desired her, wanted her, but always he resisted, held back and it was
quite frankly driving her crazy! 
         She would occasionally catch him staring at her, but he would
quickly look away and she was sure no one else really noticed. Ray would
get that far off look in his eyes and it would take Fraser calling to him
repeatedly before he responded, and everyone sort of expected him to do
that now and then. She asked Ray once where he went when he did that and
he shrugged. It wasn't that he really went anywhere, he would just be
concentrating on something to hard and not hear what was going on around
him. Frannie suspected Ray did it on purpose sometimes, just to aggravate
Fraser, but she couldn't be sure, he did so many other things just to
aggravate Fraser why would he add to it? 
         Ray finally glanced up and caught her staring. He winked at her
and she blushed, causing him to smile as he rose from his desk to deliver
the report to Welsh. Ray had had roses delivered to her at work twice in
the last couple of months, the first bouquet was white, the second yellow.
She had already received a red bouquet from him with the small jar of Grey
Poupon mustard hidden inside, after they had agreed to see each other
privately. the mustard was their own private joke. With each bouquet Ray
would tease her mercilessly about a new beau, because it was expected that
he do so, and she would return the favor by ribbing him in return. The
Ray/Frannie relationship had always added spark to the precinct's daily
operation. Each getting on the other's nerves their causal and often
heated banter a cause for great amusements for others, and so they kept to
their rolls. However it was getting harder and harder to pretend anger
with a man she loved so deeply. 
         She watched Fraser walk by as he acknowledged her with a smile
and a tip of his dark head. She returned the smile, somewhat relieved that
her heart rate didn't quicken so much and her breathing remained normal as
he passed. She was getting over him, with Ray's help, she would probably
be over her infatuation of Fraser in no time, not that that was her reason
for seeing Ray, she cared for him. It just helped knowing her true love
for him was getting her over her fantasized realities of the Mountie. She
sighed and turned back to her work. Tonight she would have Ray where she
wanted him. She had memorized all his possible excuses and found a way to
render them useless. Ray had given her a spare key, because his landlady
just kept letting Francesca in anyway, so she would go there after work
and wait for him. She suspected he would go out to eat with Fraser, he
usually did, and so he would probably be home nine at the latest, as the
Mountie liked to turn in early, giving her plenty of time to set things
up. She glanced over at Ray talking animatedly to his partner and smiled. 
  

         Ray chuckled as he inserted his key into his door and pushed it
open, stepping inside with Fraser behind him. 
         "I cannot believe you did that, Frase." He remarked closing the
door behind them. "What possessed you challenge that gronk to an arm
wrestling match?" 
         "I did not challenge him, Ray." Fraser amended innocently. "He
challenged me and I couldn't very well refuse." He smiled slightly. "My
partner would loose all respect for me." Ray laughed again as he pulled of
his outer shirt and began to unfasten his holster. "And I did win. Ray." 
         "That you did, my friend." Ray agreed, then stopped suddenly as
he realized music was softly playing around them. "What the hell?" He
began, just as Francesca came out of his bedroom and smiled, wrapped in
his robe. 
         "Hiya Frase." She greeted calmly, she knew the Canadian was aware
of their relationship.  "Hi Ray." Ray stared at her surprised. 
         "Um...Frannie." He stammered. "W..what are you doin' here this
time of night?" 
         "It's our anniversary, Ray." She commented coming over to  give
him an inviting hug. 
         "I'll see you tomorrow, Ray." Fraser extended graciously. "Have a
good evening Francesca." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. 
         "I intend to Frase." She commented and Ray suddenly disentangled
himself from her. 
         "I'll, ah..drive ya home Fraser." 
         "Quite all right, Ray." The Mountie deflected calmly. "It's a
nice evening for a walk I shan't mind the exercise." Ray followed him back
toward the door. 
        "I really think I should drive ya Fraser." He implored and Fraser
hid a smile. 
        "Don't be such a coward, Ray." He whispered teasing, then opened
the door. "Good night Ray." Ray stared at the closed door and  tried to
quell the urge to run after his friend. Dirty rat! Deserting him like
this, he'd get even. Finally he turned back to Francesca. 
        "So..um...ya shoulda told me ya were comin' I woulda been home
sooner." He commented moving to extract a soda from the fridge. Francesca
approached him and wrapped her arms around him from behind, smiling. The
hell he would have come home, she thought, he would have run in the
opposite direction. She ran her hands over his body until she found the
tail of his shirt, then delved her hands inside to touch warm skin. 
        "Yer here now." She purred. "And it's yer lucky night, Kowalski." 
        "I..it is?" he asked a little confused. She nodded and allowed him
to turn around so she could cuddle against his chest. 
       "Yep. You and me. Your bed. O-ten O'clock hours." Ray smirked. 
        "Ya mean twenty two hundred hours, Frannie." He corrected and she
shrugged. 
        " Ten, twenty, thirty, whatever." She sighed pressing against him,
her hands slipping out of his shirt and moving for his belt. "Let's just
get it up." Ray blushed and grinned at the same time, how could he not at
that goofy statement? 
        "Get it on." He offered and she nodded eagerly. 
        "On, in, up out, whatever let's just do it." She anticipated his
movement sideways and moved with him. He moved back as did she and he
chuckled. 
        "If ya wanted ta dance ya just had ta say so." He teased and she
shook her head. 
        "I don't wanna do that kinda dance, Ray." She purred as she
reached up to nibble his neck. "I wanna do the octagon mojo." Ray paused
for a moment, trying to figure that one out, ah..horizontal mambo! He
shook his head, he wasn't touching that one. 
        "I..ah..I had a long day, Frannie." He muttered, trying to forget
what her lips were doing to his sensitive skin. 
        "We don't have to work tomorrow, so we've got all night." She
replied undeterred. "You can sleep later." 
        "Um....I don't got any..." Francesca pulled out a string of
condoms from the pocket of the robe and Ray flushed again. "I'm hungry. I
should eat." Francesca reached behind him to a bowl of fruit she had
placed on the counter, and selected an apple, which she then shoved into
his open mouth. 
        "You chew, I'll work." She suggested once again going for the
button of his jeans and he briefly wondered when she had relieved him of
the belt. He bit off a piece of the apple, since it was already in his
mouth, then chewed it quickly as he placed it and his drink on the
counter, using his freed hands to capture hers. 
        "Francesca, we can't." He refused, swallowing the morsel in his
mouth. 
        "Why not?' she demanded, her patience was at an end. Ray thought
for a moment. 
        "I'm not in the mood." He tried, but she pressed her hand against
him and squeezed his hardened arousal. 
        "The hell you aren't." she muttered, then she suddenly stepped
back. "Am I that undesirable, Ray? Can't you even consider wanting to make
love to me?" As always Ray was quick to calm her fears, as she knew he
would be. 
        "No, no." He assured pulling her to him and running his fingers
soothingly through her hair. "I do want you, ya know I do, Frannie. Please
don't think like that." 
        "Then why won't you make love to me, Ray?" she demanded. "Fer
heaven's sake, yer harder to land than Fraser ever seemed ta be." 
        "I..I just think we ...we should wait." He stressed quietly. 
        "Fer what? Fer the next coming of Christ." She gasped and quickly
blessed her self. "Ya see what ya made me do! I could go ta hell now and
it'd be all yer fault!" Ray smothered his smile, knowing now was not the
time to tease her or show his amusement. 
        "I'm sorry." He offered gently. "Besides, isn't premarital sex
considered a sin?" She blushed. 
        "That's different." She murmured. "We both been married all ready,
so it's okay." She glanced up at him. "Unless ya wanna get married." She
hadn't expected Ray to pale so visibly and she was quick to assure him,
his sudden expression knocking the wind from her sails. She knew his last
marriage had not been much better than her own  and that he was still in
love with his ex-wife, whether he admitted it or not.  "I..I didn't mean
that. Please, Ray. I...I just wanna make love. What is so wrong with
that?" Ray sighed and moved away from her to sit on the sofa. After a
moment she joined him. "Talk to me, Ray." 
        "Frannie..I'm..afraid." he said at last and her eyes widdened. 
        "Afraid of what?" she asked gently, surprised at how soft his
voice had become, like he was forcing back tears. 
        "You, me..everything." His voice cracked from emotion, then he
cleared his throat and spoke somewhat clearer. "I..I made some
mistakes..with Stella. I..I don't know exactly what all those mistakes
were and I don't wanna repeat them with you. I..." he paused again
gathering his thoughts."It's been a l..long time since I was...with
someone, o..other than Stella and I..I'm not sure I can..." He growled and
placed his head in his hands frustrated, as Francesca put a gentle
massaging hand to his neck. He always seemed so sure of himself, he chased
women like they were going out of style before he'd settled with her.
Granted he never caught any of them, but that was no reason to doubt
himself. 
        "Ray," she began gently. "You will be wonderful, ya just gotta
relax." She smiled. "I could give ya another massage?" Ray smiled a
little, those were what always got him into trouble, yet it sounded real
good about now. He nodded and pulled off his shirt. 
        "Just the massage." He warned her gently and lay flat on his
stomach as she hurried to the bedroom to retrieve her lotion, the same one
she had used that last time. She knelt beside him and warmed the lavender
scented cream in her hands, then applied it to his back. In moments she
had him completely relaxed, as she wove her magic hands over his neck,
shoulders and back, loosing muscles and relieving aches and pains. 
        "Feel better?" she asked him after awhile. 
        "Mmmm." He replied, his face was turned into the pillow of his
sofa cushion. "Yer magic Frannie." She smiled and continued her work, her
eyes straying occasionally to the firm, round buttocks that were just
inches away. 
        "Can I give ya an all over massage?" Ray mumbled something
incoherent  then rolled over suddenly and pulled her to him, kissing her
gently. 
        "I do wanna make love ta ya, Frannie." He whispered, caressing her
cheek and she sighed against him, allowing her hands to trip gently over
his exposed chest as she had his back. She knew he wanted her, but it
still hurt that he wouldn't take her. 
        "Then make love ta me, Ray." She encouraged taking possession of
his mouth and kissing him eagerly. He returned he passionate assault as
she moved to lay her body over his on the small sofa, so that every part
of her was now touching a part of him. She heard a low growl form from
deep in his throat as his hands caressed her urgently, his hips grinding
against hers, informing her if his aroused state. 
        "Ah...God, Frannie!" He gasped when the need for air finally drove
them apart. He stared into her eyes, which were only inches form his own.
"Are ya sure, sweetheart?" Joy flooded her and she nodded vigorously,
causing him to chuckle. "I do want ya, I don't want ya ta ever doubt dat."

        "Then show me, love." She whispered in his ear nibbling gently on
the sensitive lobe. "Show me ya love me, Ray, like I love you." She felt
Ray stiffened and she realized she had said the forbidden 'L' word. She
drew back slightly to gage his reaction. They had danced around that
particular emotion for the past two months and now she had worried she had
blown everything by admitting how much she really cared for him. She
understood Ray's fear of loving someone, he had been hurt badly before and
was still recovering from it. But instead of the incrimination and fear
she expected to see in his eyes, she saw only a wonderful tenderness and
surprise. 
        "You love me, Frannie?" he asked huskily and she nodded
hesitantly. He crushed her to him, murmuring in her ear. "Thank you. Thank
you Frannie fer lovin' me." Francesca felt as though her heart would burst
as she cuddled against him, but she didn't ask him to return her feelings,
he wasn't ready to do that and she accepted that. 
        She maneuvered one hand under him, so she could unfasten the
button of his jeans and he surprised her by raising up enough for her to
get the zipper down and pull them off, leaving him in his boxers. She 
slid slowly off of him and poured some more lotion on her hands to work
his thighs and calf muscles. 
         "That's good, Frannie." He sighed, letting her work. He hadn't
realized how sore he was. After a long moment, when his whole body felt
like Jell-O, he sat up and stretched, then took the lotion from her,
indicating she take his position on the sofa. "Yer turn." Francesca smiled
in delight and slipped off her robe, revealing the sexy black negligée
underneath, then stretched out on her stomach as Ray had done. 
        Ray smiled and knelt beside her, pouring the lotion over his
hands, as Francesca adjusted the slim straps of her bodice, so that her
back was bare and ready for him. Ray concentrated on looking just at her
back and not the inviting flesh that was now crushed against the throw
pillows. He worked the lotion into her back, working from her neck muscles
down and she sighed. He had never given her a massage before, it seemed
right and she seemed to be enjoying it so he must be doing something
right. Her back arched like a kitten toward his touch and he tried to
adjust his position on the floor, the hard on he now sported making
kneeling difficult. 
        Francesca suddenly turned over and stared up at him, her breasts
were exposed, waiting for him, it seemed. Unable to stop himself, Ray
leaned forward and laved one nipple, his hand reaching up to caress her
stomach and the skin just below her breasts. She bit her lip and raised
toward his mouth and he moaned, pulling his lips away after a moment to
settle on her mouth. He kissed her gently, hesitantly, as he always did
and she waited patiently, knowing he just needed to get started, to be
sure. Soon enough she opened her mouth to his exploration sucking his
tongue greedily to hers, winding her fingers through his hair and pulling
him so his chest was touching hers. Ray's hand wandered down across her
stomach, lower to her abdomen, then delved between her legs. She growled
and pulled his hand away, he had done that for her before, but she didn't
want that tonight. She didn't want him to get her off and then not let her
finish up with him. She wanted him, completely and fully inside of her,
loving her. Ray moved back and stared at her questioning. 
        "I want you." She murmured, reaching her hand down to grip his
arousal meaningfully. Ray rocked against her touch and dipped his head to
kiss her again. After the need for air forced them to surface once again,
Francesca pleaded with him again to take her and Ray lowered his eyes. She
stood from the sofa and pulled him to his feet, guiding him toward the
bedroom, stopping to grab the string of condoms from his robe. Once inside
she gently pushed him back onto the bed then climbed over him. He rarely
let her do anything but kiss him, but tonight she intended to have her way
with him, just as she had dreamed of doing for so long. She trailed a path
of kisses from his lips to his navel, licking and kissing him erotically,
hearing his labored breathing and feeling the tightness her assault caused
in his groin.  When she reached for him she was shocked when he called out
Fraser's name. She bolted upright. 
        "What!" she exclaimed furious, but Ray was already sitting up and
reaching for his phone. "Ray!" If he was calling out the Mountie's name in
a fit of desire, instead of hers she would cry. It couldn't be! It wasn't
fair! 
        "Something's wrong." Ray suddenly said hanging up the phone and
moving back to the living room to retrieve his clothes. Francesca followed
fuming, this was the last straw, using Fraser as an excuse now. 
        "Damnit Ray!" she declared as he quickly dressed then retrieved
his shoulder holster. "I swear if you walk out on me we are through." He
swung her toward him and enveloped her in a quick hug. 
        "I don't mean to, Frannie." He assured quickly, urgently. "Please
understand. Something is really wrong with Fraser. I... I don't know how I
know I just do." Francesca stared at him, witnessed the worry and fear in
his eyes and knew he was telling the truth. She nodded and he kissed her,
then ran from the apartment. 
  

        Ray ran a shaky hand through his tousled hair, as the GTO slid
slowly along the route Fraser would have taken home. There had been no
answer at the Consulate, still, when he had called just a few minutes ago
and he couldn't find his partner. 
        "Please let me be wrong." He said to himself. "Let him be okay." A
flash of red caught his eye in a passing ally and he slammed on his
brakes, pulling to the curb and leaping from the vehicle. There lay the
Mountie, in the back of the ally beside the Dumpster, unconscious. Ray
knelt and carefully turned his friend over, praying he wasn't dead or
shot. He winced as his hand came away from Fraser's chest coated with
blood, not shot, stabbed. He rested the Canadian's head on his lap and
quickly dialed for an ambulance on his cell phone, then he concentrated on
trying to get Fraser to respond to him. 
        "Fraser? Fraazzure." He slapped the Mountie's deathly pale cheek.
"Com'ahn buddy. Don't do this to me. Wake up." He slapped him a little
harder. "Com'ahn Frase. Thatcher's gonna have a cow if yer not on guard
duty in five minutes." Somehow that got through and Fraser opened his
eyes, staring up at Ray with such stark terror Ray felt a shiver run down
his own spine. 
        "R..Ray?" he questioned dazed, then winced as he tried to sit up. 
        "Stay still ya moron, ya been hurt." Ray scolded and pulled the
Mountie back against his lap. "What happened Fraser?" The Mountie licked
his dry lips, trying to focus. 
        "I..you must leave, Ray." He suddenly announced with a tremor in
his voice. "Please, she mustn't see you..she'lll..." Ray heard the sirens
getting nearer. 
        "She who? What are ya talkin' about, Fraser." Fraser seemed really
agitated now, beyond frightened. 
        "Please, Ray. Leave before...before..." Ray looked around at a
sound behind him, then all went black. 
  

        Fraser awoke in the hospital, an anxious Thatcher and Francesca
watching over him. 
        "W...where is Ray?" he demanded as soon as he had found his voice,
he noticed that Francesca had been crying. He remembered hearing a cry for
help in the ally as he passed, and he had hurried to the person's aid,
only to have a knife gouged into his ribs. He dropped to the ground,
fighting the wave of unconsciousness the pain was escalating towards, then
he looked up and saw her and he did something Benton Fraser had never done
before in his life, he fainted. Ray had been there, sometime after, he had
tried to warn him. Did the detective get away? 
        "He...he was with me." Explained Francesca. " He suddenly had this
premonition that you were in trouble and he went looking for you. It was
so weird Fraser, like he somehow sensed you were in trouble. He..he
never..." She turned away and Fraser turned emotionally frustrated eyes to
his superior. 
        "Please, Meg." He asked. 'Tell me where Ray is." Thatcher lowered
her eyes for a long moment, then squared her shoulders. 
        "I'm afraid he's dead, Fraser." She stated, with more control than
she felt at the present. Fraser blinked. Ray? Dead? He couldn't be. He'd
been alive when...when. 
        "H..How?" he whispered. 
        "A fire in he building they found you next to." Explained Thatcher
gently. "He..they think he may have gone in there looking for you. He...he
was very badly burned by the time they got the fire down it...he..."
Thatcher lowered her eyes and again and  bit her lip. 
        "NO!" denied Fraser. "He did find me. He was with me, I remember
that. I..I was trying to warn him..." Thatcher shook her head. 
        "You must have been hallucinating Fraser." She commented. "Ray
went into the building from the front entrance, walked straight into the
fire because he thought you were in there. The ceiling collapsed on him
moments later. The ambulance found you in the back alley." Fraser shook
his head, it couldn't be true. Ray was not dead, he would know, he would
feel the emptiness his friend's death would cause him inside. Fraser fixed
her with a cold stare. 
        "I want to see the body." He demanded, shoving the covers back and
pushing his legs over the side. Thatcher and Francesca were beside him
instantly as he swayed. 
        "You just had surgery, Constable." Thatcher informed trying to get
the larger Canadian back into the bed.  "You must rest." He stared at her,
not wanting to disobey her, yet needing to see his friend, to know the
truth. 
        "Please, Sir." He requested huskily. "I have to see for myself."
After a long pause she nodded and called for a nurse to bring a wheel
chair, insisting that she didn't want Fraser to tear his stitches. She
helped Fraser into the chair, mindful of the drafty gown that he wore and
pulled a sheet off the bed to drape around his legs, then she and
Francesca headed out with him. Apparently Kowalski's body had come to the
hospital with Fraser and now his body was in the morgue downstairs. Fraser
briefly thought, how distasteful that would be to Ray, he disliked
morgues, but then he caught himself. Ray couldn't be dead, he just
couldn't. 
        "Here he is." Remarked the tech, pulling the slab drawer out from
the wall with an informality that annoyed Fraser, as Thatcher and
Francesca helped him to stand closer to the covered body. The tech popped
his gum. "He's pretty charred, ya sure ya wanna see this?" Fraser nodded
and the man pulled the sheet back. 
        Fraser swallowed the bile that rose in his throat, noticing how
Francesca whimpered and turned away. He glanced over the body, It was
Ray's height and build, but other than that there was no recognition of
the blond detective in the charred remains, except...Fraser noticed the 
silver bracelet that was still on one charred wrist. He carefully fingered
the bracelet, he had never found out it's origin, Ray never told him, he
only knew the detective always wore it. He rubbed his hand over the metal,
noticing how the silver seemed undamaged. 
        "Who identified the body?" Fraser asked the tech, which glanced at
the chart. 
        "Mrs. Kowalski." He replied popping his gum once again and Fraser
fought the urge to pop him, he almost smiled, that is something Ray would
say.  Ray's mother probably used the bracelet as the basis of the
identifying process, since so little identifying marks remained of the
body. 
        "Have you done a dental identification?" Fraser insisted,
remembering he still had Ray's dental records in his office, he had made a
mold of the man's teeth when he had first met him and not realized he was
posing as Ray Vecchio. The man nodded. 
        "Yep, they did all that." He assured. "Came back as a positive
ID." Fraser scowled. Everything seemed to be in order, yet he could not
believe this was his Ray. He moved around the body, using his
investigative skills to examine the corpse, his unorthodox procedure
causing the tech to turn slightly green. 
        "Um..I don't think you can do that." He protested as Fraser
sniffed the fingernails. 
        "Be quiet." Thatcher told him, watching Fraser quietly. She knew
he needed to do this. Finally Fraser shook his head. 
        "It isn't Ray Kowalski." He shook his head and Thatcher's eyes
narrowed. 
        "I know that you wish it wasn't Constable but..." 
        "I know Ray Kowalski, I know his scent, his taste." All three
people stared at him slightly shocked, but he didn't elaborate. "There are
too many discrepancies." He held up the corpse's right hand. "Ray told me
he broke his little finger when he was eight, it never quite healed
properly. This man has had no broken fingers. Ray Kowalski never smoked,
yet there are nicotine stains under the fingertips. This isn't Ray
Kowalski." 
        "But they have dental records and his mother identified him."
Protested the tech, intrigued by the Mountie's hypothesis. 
        "She identified him by the bracelet." Fraser stated, reaching to
pull the piece of jewelry off and fold it in his hand. "Dental records can
be falsified and I can prove they were as well." 
        "Are you sure about this, Fraser?" Thatcher asked quietly and he
nodded. She nodded as well, he had never given her any reason to doubt his
powers of deduction. "Then we'll find Ray." Fraser stared at her, relieved
that she believed him. "But first Constable you need to get back to bed." 
        "But Sir..." 
        "No arguments, Fraser." She decided 
  

        Ray groaned and opened his heavy lidded eyes, his whole body felt
like it had been through a meat grinder and his head was pounding so
loudly he saw bright spots before him on the dingy gray ceiling. Where was
he? What the hell happened? Fraser! Where was Fraser? He'd been hurt, did
they get to him? Was he alive. He tried to rise from the small wire cot
where he lay, but was brutally hauled backwards by the shackles on his
wrists. What the hell? He glanced up and pulled at his chains, just as a
door opened from the other side of the room and a woman with dark flowing
hair and cold eyes walked in. She approached the bed and stared down at
him with such an intense hatred he had to force himself not to cringe. 
        "Who the hell are you?" he demanded with his usual grace. "What
the F**k ya got me chained up fer?" 
        "It's purely for your own protection, Detective." She assured
calmly. "I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself." 
        "The only person who's gonna get hurt around here is you lady, if
you don't f**kin; release me, got it?" 
        "Save your threats." She sighed. 'They don't impress me, I've
heard it all before." She offered him an icy smile. "We have a mutual
friend, you and I. Soon, he'll realize that I have you and will come
looking for you." 
        "Who might that be?" Ray demanded. 
        "Ben." She replied calmly. "You're partner, or rather the real Ray
Vecchio's partner, he's only with you to keep the cover going." That hurt,
but Ray refused to show it. "It must be awful to have to live another
man's life, have another man's friend's, knowing they'll be taken from you
the moment Vecchio returns." Ray stared at her shocked, but refused to
rise to the bate. 
        "Yer nuts." He decided. "You don't have a clue about me or what I
think." 
        "I know what it's like to want something to be yours so badly you
will do anything for it." She hissed. "I know you want to have Vecchio's
life permanently. To have Fraser as your partner and his family and
friends to be yours, truly yours and I can help you do that, Ray. The
world will be a better place without Ray Vecchio and we both know it. All
you have to do is tell me where he is." Ray laughed to surprised to do
anything else. 
        "Oh, lady!" he exclaimed. "Yer outta yer tree if ya think I'd tell
ya that." 
        "Have it your way, Stanley." She sighed placidly. "But know this
nothing will keep me from what I want and when Fraser comes, he'll accept
that I did it all for him." 
        "Yer buckin' fer the loony bin, lady, if ya think this will land
ya anywhere but in a jail cell." Ray called after her as she turned toward
the door. She glanced back at him and smiled, an evil smile. 
        "I've been there before, Stanley, that doesn't impress me either."
She turned and went out and a chill rose over him as he realized who the
mysterious woman was, and he silently prayed Fraser stayed the hell away
from here, wherever here was. 
  

        Fraser ignored the doctor's orders and returned to the place where
the warehouse building had burned, supposedly with Ray inside and he had
been found behind in the alley behind it. Dressed in his casual clothing,
with only his Stetson announcing his official status, he searched the area
thoroughly with Diefenbaker. Frannie had wanted to come with him, eager to
help if there was a chance that Kowalski was alive, but Fraser had
dissuaded her, needing to have not distraction during his hunt for his
partner's whereabouts. He found bloodstains that were probably from his
injuries at the time, but no other signs that Ray may have been seriously
injured. There were no fibers or traces of their attacker, although Fraser
was sure he knew who at least one of them was, though he was loath to
admit it. In three days he had come up with nothing that would lead him to
the detective and his frustration bore heavily on him. The one thing he
had found was Ray's cell phone in a nearby Dumpster, which he now carried
with him. 
        He was at a loss what to do, as he returned to Ray's apartment,
for lack of a better place to go. Mrs. Kowalski had been there earlier,
with the intent to collect her son's things, but she couldn't bring
herself to do it. Fraser couldn't tell her of his suspicions yet, he
didn't want to get her hopes up. Ray's silver bracelet dangled from his
left wrist, a reminder of the corpse that lay in the hospital morgue under
his partner's name. Suddenly an idea came to him, if his suspicions were
correct there may only be one way to find Ray, he decided and quickly left
the apartment. He returned a short time later with a large paper sack,
from which he extracted a multitude of simple service candles. He
proceeded to light all the candles, placing them everywhere there was a
spare place in the small apartment, then he sat down and waited. 
        Fraser awoke some time later, he had fallen asleep sitting up,
physically and emotionally exhausted from all that had happened the last
few days, as he realized Ray's phone was ringing. He grabbed it and
flipped it open. The woman on the other end informed him of a time and
place to meet and hung up. Fraser sat back for a moment, her voice
vibrating through him still with such jagged intensity he found it
difficult to breathe. Dear God. Victoria had Ray and Fraser feared for his
friend's life. 
  

        Ray awoke once more as he was lifted from the wire cot and moved
toward the only door. He struggled and the two thugs that held him beat
him down, ending up half dragging him to their destination. Ray shook his
head and managed to raise his eyes to the dark haired woman standing
before him. 
        "Last chance, Detective." She offered. "Will you cooperate?" He
managed a sneer as he rubbed his sore wrists, chafed from the shackles he
had been imprisoned with. 
        "Sure, just a soon as hell freezes over." He hissed and she smiled
and he was pushed into a giant transparent chamber. The door was secured
and Victoria Metcaf stared at him through the glass, her eyes cold and
unforgiving. 
        "Ben will be here soon," she announced through the speaker on the
wall, and Ray felt his heart drop in despair. Fraser couldn't be coming,
she'd destroy him. "I wonder if he will give me Ray Vecchio's life for
yours? Possibly not, but I will enjoy watching him witness your death."
Ray started but didn't show his fear, she was going to kill him, in front
of Fraser. Ray knew that guilt would consume his friend if he had to
witness his partner'' death and vowed he'd keep the Mountie from seeing
such a tragedy, even if he had to off himself before hand to do it. He
decided to try and reason with her, when all else fails, lie. 
        "Fraser isn't gonna give a rat's ass whether I live or die." He
stated confidently. "Ya said it yerself, I'm just a substitute for the
real Vecchio. Ya ain't gonna hurt him by doin' this." 
        "We'll see." She replied. Okay, change of tactics. Ray considered
her for a moment. 
        "I thought you loved Fraser?" 
        "I do, with all of my heart." 
        "Then why d'ya wanna destroy him?" he taunted. "Why d'ya wanna
hurt him. Y'know he'd probably be happy ta see ya, he's missed ya. He
talks about ya all the time." Yeah, he rebuked silently, she was on the
Mounties's mind all right, in his nightmares and fears, a constant
reminder of the betrayal that her love had given him. Ray knew what that
was like, to be betrayed for loving someone so very much, The Stella had
done that to him, thought Stella was no where near as physcotic as
Victoria. She seemed to consider his words. 
        "He truly speaks of me?" 
        "Yah, all da time. Dat's how I knew who you were, he described ya
to me lot's a times, but I never figured his description of ya could be
real, it seemed so perfect but now I can see he was tellin' da truth.."
Yah, she was a looker, he had admitted that when he had seen the picture
in her file, but damned if her eyes weren't heavy on the evil looking
side. 
        "And why would he discuss me with someone he cares nothing about?"
she demanded suddenly, forcing him to retract his earlier statement. He
offered her a cocky grin. 
        "Okay, yah, I said that." He admitted. "But ya don't expect me ta
not at least try ta convince ya not ta off me, right?" She smiled slightly
and he sensed he had made some leeway with her. "Me an' Fraser are good
buds, he tells me everythin' and he has told me about ya." 
        "What has he told you then?" she asked coolly, her smile gone.
Um..think Kowalski think! 
        "He..ah..he said dat you and him met up in da Northwest
Areas..er..Terratories in Canada." He offered while he frantically tried
to piece together information from the file and what little he had
actually pried from Fraser. Think think! "Ah, he said dat ya had made a
mistake and he had ta bring ya in fer it." He paused giving her time to
consider his next statement. "He feels real bad 'bout that, specially when
ya came back and y'know you and him got together." He saw the flicker of
emotion pass briefly over her stone face, but it was a start, a crack in
the mask she hid behind. "He wanted ta go wit ya when ya left." She turned
away slightly and lowered her eyes, a sadness overcoming her that Ray
almost felt sorry for her...almost. 
        "Vecchio shot him." She stated bitterly and Ray hid his surprise.
He had known Fraser had been shot and the that bullet was still in him and
offered caused him great discomfort, but he had assumed it had been
Victoria who had shot him, not Vecchio. "He shot him to keep him from
coming with me. What sort of man does that?" 
        "I..I dunno." Ray replied quietly, trying to keep his tone
friendly and sympathetic, hopeful she would except his lies at face value
and start trusting him. "'Dat's pretty shitty all right, ta shoot yer own
partner." 
        "He wanted to keep Ben with him." She accused angrily. "He took
the man I loved away from me and I hate him for it!" 
        "Yah, well...I got no love for Vecchio either." He pressed
indulgently. "I mean, he just up and left Fraser, he couldn'ta been too
good a friend. Now, me, I'd have ta y'know respect Fraser's wishes more."
She turned and stared at him with such intensity he had to struggle not to
look away. 
        "You would allow Ben to go away with me?" she inquired cautiously.

        "If dat's what he wants, I mean if it's what makes him happy who
am I ta interfere in his happiness?" She stared at him again appraisingly,
then she ordered the door open and stepped inside the chamber, her two
associates blocking the exit. 
        She approached Ray and he stood his ground curious, watching as
she reached up a long, slender hand to caress his cheek. She ran her hand
lightly through his hair, then grabbed a handful of it and jerked his head
downward to claim his lips. She kissed him with such ferocity that Ray had
neither the time nor the sense of mind to respond, before she released him
just as suddenly then slapped him hard across the face, causing his head
to whip painfully backwards from the blow. 
        "You must think I am a fool." She sneered. "Do you honestly think
I would believe a word you say you stupid man? I know what it is to want
Benton Fraser and you wouldn't give him up any more than Vecchio did. But
you have given me an idea, a more considerable alternative to the fate I
had planned for you." She stepped back outside before Ray could attempt an
escape and the door slammed shut again. He slammed his fist against the
glass in frustration as they walked away from him. He'd been so close, but
one thing was for sure, Victoria Metcalf was nobody's fool. 
  

        Fraser arrived, once again at the theater, where he had confronted
Victoria of her betrayal, and moved to the back room, his palm holding the
quarters needed to access the panel that would allow him to see the woman
that haunted his dreams. The door closed behind hi as he entered the
darkened room and he dropped the quarters into the slot, waiting in
fearful anticipation for the screen to slide back and reveal Victoria. 
        She looked very much like the last time he had seen her, though
she was wearing her hair differently, and he recognized the reddish bob as
a wig. He found himself wondering if she still had the luxurious dark
curls that he had run his fingers through so many times that night they
had..he shook his head. How could he be thinking about that now, when the
woman before him who had tried to destroy his and Ray Vecchio's lives. Had
cost him to be shot, who had lied and Betrayed and used him because of
some sick sense of vengeance. How could he think in that way, because he
was still desperately in love with her and this fact hit him like a sharp
blow the moment the curtain had gone up and she turned to look at him. 
        "Hello Ben." She greeted quietly, almost shyly Fraser had removed
his hat, tossed it nervously between his fingers as he shifted his weight
repeatedly when he found he couldn't speak, only stare. Victoria offered
him a small smile. "I'm sorry our reunion had to be like this, but I
simply don't trust you enough not to turn me in had I come to you
directly." Her words caused him anger and enabled him to speak finally. 
        "Is that why you tried to have me killed?" he demanded grimly, his
jaw was locked in an effort to control the tide of emotions that suddenly
filled him. Hurt, anger, lust, sadness, fear, all these feelings all at
once. It made his head spin to feel so much at one time. 
        "I never meant for that to happen, Ben." She assured quickly.
"Gary just got carried away, I never meant for him to hurt you." She
averted her yes then looked up again, shifting uncomfortably on the high
stool where she sat. "It was good that your friend showed up when he did,
but then I had to cover that too." 
        "What do you want, Victoria?" he sighed, pain filtering through
his voice. "Where is Ray? What have you done to him?" 
        "Your friend is safe, Ben." She assured quickly, managing to look
hurt that he would suspect her of harming his partner. "I have no quarrel
with him. I merely wanted to see you." 
        "Why?" 
        "Because I love you, Ben." She pleaded. "I'm better now, I haven't
done those kinds of things from my past in a long time and I want us to be
together." Fraser stared at her, the urge to say yes was entirely to quick
in coming and he swallowed with difficulty. 
        "Will you release Ray, then?" he asked quietly, staring at his
hat, it hurt to look at her, to gaze upon the woman he loved knowing she
was mad and swore vengeance on him and all who knew him, despite her
tender endearments to the contrary. 
        "Of course," she agreed readily. "I will even tell you where he is
and you can go get him yourself." Fraser's gaze narrowed on her, he
couldn't trust her, he knew that, but God he wanted to believe she had
changed. 
        "I wish..." he began then stopped himself. 
        "What is it you wish Ben?" she inquired gently. 
        "I wish you didn't hate me so much Victoria." He revealed with a
shuddered breath as he finally met her gaze, noticing that the tenderness
in her expression, the softness of her voice never reached those damning,
unforgivingly cold eyes. 
        "Love and hate are just two sides to the same coin, Ben." She
reminded quietly. "You hate me, but you love me too, don't you?" Fraser
shook his head, he didn't hate her, truly he didn't. He despised what she
had done, condemned the life she chose to lead. He felt anger, hurt, love,
lust, fear, hope, many things concerning Victoria but he did not, in all
honesty hate her and he knew he never would. 
        "I could never hate you, Victoria." He voiced the thought and her
eyes narrowed. 
        "Because you love me, right, Benton?" she pressed sliding off her
stool as the curtain began to fall and Fraser moved to insert more coins.
He waited until he could see her completely again before answering. 
        "Yes, Victoria." He admitted, though what such an admission cost
him he had yet to find out. He wouldn't lie to her, not like she had lied
to him. "Please tell me where Ray is." She shrugged. 
        "If I tell you will you come away with me, Ben?" she demanded
suddenly. "Your new partner assured me he won't try to stop you, not like
Vecchio did anyway." 
        "I..." How could he respond? Yes he wanted to be with her but he
knew she would only betray him again. She was too destructive, too filled
with hatred for them to be together and both survive the experience. 
        "You still can't decide for yourself Fraser." She spat suddenly
furious. "Well, go to your partner, find him and follow him to hell!" the
curtain swiftly began to drop again and Fraser rushed to the door, knowing
she would once again try to elude him. He had never figured out how she
could move so fast, but she was gone by the time he burst from the room.
He did however find a flyer for a magic act at a theater across town and
his heart caught in his chest as he stared at the specialty attraction,
the tank of death. 
  

         Ray slammed against the glass repeatedly, his body bruised and
sore from the effort, as the cold water gushed into the chamber. It was
already up to his calves and rising by the second, so he knew he didn't
have much time left. He had examined the tank from every possible angle,
but even the door had no inside mechanisms to get out. 
        "It's a magicians water chamber, dere has ta be a way out!" he
told himself, trying to quell the fear rising within him. He thought back
to the Henry Allen, when he was cuffed to a pipe and the water had been
rushing more and more inside the ship, he had thought he would drown for
sure, but Fraser had found him and saved him. Now he was torn between
wanting the Mountie to rescue him, and hoping his partner was to late to
witness his friend's death. The water had reached his knees and he had
started to shiver from the cold, why can't they ever use warm water, why
does it always have to feel like he was swimming in the Atlantic? 
        He jumped up to try and grasp the two small hooks at the top,
possibly for the magician's submersion, even though there was a hidden
door at the bottom that Victoria used. Victoria. He ever got out of this
and he'd shoot her himself, Vecchio had the right idea.  He could not
reach the hooks, no matter how he tried, and now water was up to his
waist. He suspected once the water got to his chest, it would float him
high enough to grasp the top, but that would only give him a few seconds
of air at most and he did not have excess lung capacity, like a certain
Canadian friend of his did. 
        He could hear his own short panting breaths in the silent chamber
above the rushing water, and he knew that if he didn't calm down he would
have no air by the time the water reached his head and that he would
hyperventilate and drown instantly. He tried the trick Fraser had taught
him, closing his eyes and concentrating on regulating his breathing to the
slower beat of his heart, only his heart threatened to burst form his
chest at the moment so it didn't work quite as well. Finally he managed to
slow his breathing, in through the nose out through the mouth..easy...slow
and steady. He opened his eyes and found that the water had risen to his
chest and all previous thought of calm left him as he struggled to reach
the hooks above. Bloom close, kick em in the dead. 
        "Com'ahn damnit!" he cursed his uncoordinated body as he pushed
upwards. "Reach fer it...reach fer it." His hand finally clasped the cold
metal and he lifted himself higher out of the freezing water, so that only
his legs up to his knees were covered. He didn't know how long he would be
able to hang on, the hook was already cutting into the tender skin of his
flesh, but it was better then the cold death that waited below. Granted,
it would get him eventually, but he'd damned sure fight the Grim Reaper on
this one. His teeth were chattering, his wet hands were sliding on the
metal, causing him to constantly reaffirm his hold. 
        The water rose to his waist again and he closed his eyes for a
minute, his life flashing before the closed lids. His parents, Stella,
Fraser, Beth Botrell, Frannie. He felt his lower lip quiver slightly as he
bit back tears of frustration. Francesca Vecchio loved him, had admitted
as much, though he couldn't fathom how she could feel that way about him,
Stanley Raymond Kowalski, three time looser and major screw up. His
parents loved him, even Stella still loved him in a way, and though he
still couldn't quite understand it, he knew that Fraser loved him, just as
he loved the Mountie, perhaps more than he had ever loved another person
accept Stella. Fraser was his rock, his conscience and his best friend. He
could accept this, even with the threat that when Vecchio returned things
would change and they might not be partners again. He understood what
Victoria had meant when she said that everyone wants Benton Fraser, he
couldn't deny that his life would be so empty without the logical
unconventional Canadian, even if he was a freak. Ray allowed himself a
little smile, that freak had become very important to this particular
Chicago flatfoot. 
        He adjusted his hold once again, as he opened his eyes, gasping as
the water surrounded his chest and rose steadily closer. He closed his
eyes again, trying to remember what he had been thinking about. Oh, yeah,
the people he cared about, the ones he would leave behind. Fraser,
Francesca. Frannie, dear beautiful Frannie, he'd give anything to hear her
constant chatter right about now. He suddenly realized that he had never
responded to her declaration of love and regret filled him. 
        "I do love ya Frannie." He whispered to himself as he felt the
water on his chin and he raised it slightly to prolong the inevitable just
for another few seconds. "I'm sorry I didn't tell ya." Regrets assailed
him. He wished his had been closer to his parents, wished he had made his
marriage work, or that he had been a better cop. He wished he had met
Fraser sooner and had known him longer and wished, most of all, that he
had done enough good in his life to warrant a place in Heaven. The Lords
prayer rose to his lips just as the water did, silencing his words. 
  

        Fraser broke through the heavy locked door on his third try an
rushed inside. He stopped dead for a moment at the sight of Ray Kowalski,
his friend and partner, floating lifelessly in the water filled tank. He
was too late! Fear spurned him into action as he took a chair and banged
it repeatedly against the glass, even though there was a padlock on the
small side door because he had no time to pick it. Tossing the chair
useless chair aside he found a metal pipe from the above equipment and
slammed it into the chamber furiously. 
        Finally, the glass started to crack and then a tidal wave of water
gushed forth, carrying his partner with it, out over the large stage, and
knocking Fraser backwards with the force. He slipped a few times as he
scrambled to reach his friend and feel for a pulse. Finding none he
immediately began CPR, praying to whoever was listening that Ray had not
yet swallowed enough water that he would be lost to him. He had just
pressed his mouth to Ray's for the third time, exhaling a long slow breath
into the detective's lungs, when Ray opened his eyes and started coughing.
Fraser helped him roll on his side to expel the water now surging to the
surface. Fraser waited until he seemed to have regained some of his breath
before asking if he was okay. 
        "Ya..ya gotta stop wit da kissin' Fraser." Ray teased hoarsely.
"F...Frannie's gonna get jealous, buddy breathin' or no." Fraser was so
relieved to hear his friends taunting voice he surprised himself with an
unusual display of affection, throwing his arms around the detective and
chuckling in giddy relief. 
        "I'd be happy to stop, Ray." He assured pushing a damp lock of
Ray's hair away from the man's eyes. "If you would be so kind as to stay
clear of water since you don't swim." Ray laughed, though it sounded more
like a coughing choke as he spit up more water, then actually vomited,
clearing whatever may have been left in his stomach. Fraser grabbed a
cloth that had washed off the table when the tank had burst and wiped his
friend's face carefully. 
        "Must'a been somethin' I ate." Ray wheezed and Fraser shook his
head, the man could make a joke at the oddest times. 
        "I believe so." Fraser agreed firmly, as he helped his friend to
rise. Both men were soaked, Fraser's uniform was an unwelcome weight on
him, though he did not attempt to remove even his tunic for relief. "Does
this seem familiar to you, Ray?" Ray grinned and coughed, damn his throat
and lungs hurt. 
        "Oddly yes." He returned appropriately. 
        "It's a shame you can't discuss your little adventure further."
Informed a cold feminine voice from the audience. Both men turned and saw
Victoria Metcaf, a gun trained on them as she walked slowly down the isle
of seats. "I knew you would save him, Ben. You're very good at playing the
hero when it suits you." 
        "Victoria please..." Fraser began but she cut him off furious. 
        "Please what Benton?" she demanded coldly. "Please let you and
your little friend live? Please don't hurt us? Please run away with me?"
She shook her head. "You never listened when I said please, Ben. When I
begged you not to turn me in, you never listened to me, my pleas fell on
deaf ears. Well, this time, it will be your turn to beg." Both men started
as Victoria's associates crept up from behind and grabbed Ray, pulling him
away from Fraser, as Victoria moved closer to the detective, her gun never
wavering from her aim on his chest. 
        "Don't do this, Victoria..." Fraser protested. 
        "You won't beg for your own life, I know that, but you might beg
for his." She waived her gun toward Kowalski again, though her eyes never
left Fraser's. Will the dutiful proud Mountie be too ashamed to beg for
his partner's life, I wonder?" Fraser met her gaze unfaltering. 
        "Don't do it, Buddy." Ray refused, only to have one of the men jab
him painfully in the stomach. Fraser glanced at him, then back at
Victoria. He couldn't allow ray to be hurt, but he couldn't show weakness
to Victoria either, that would only push her control of the situation
further beyond his own control. 
        "On your knees, Fraser." She demanded harshly. "Beg me to spare
your friend's life." 
        "I won't do that Victoria." He refused, barely glimpsing the smug
look Ray shot her. 
        "You want to see his brains all over this auditorium?" she
threatened. 
        "No." he admitted. "But what I want isn't a concern of yours, is
it? You will do whatever you feel is necessary to achieve your goal of
revenge." Her eyes narrowed on him. "I didn't lie to you before, Victoria,
I do love you. I can't expect you to forgive me for what I've done, but I
wish things could be different." He stepped closer to her, sensing her
anger was wavering. "Hurting Ray won't change things. It won't wipe out
the past or give you back the years prison took from you...that I took
from you." Her hand dropped slightly. Suddenly she backed up and corrected
her aim on Kowalski. 
        "No!" she denied. "You're trying to tr1ck me again! You want me to
go back to prison!" Fraser shook his head quickly. 
        "No." he vowed softly. "I don't want you to go back to prison,
Victoria. I..I made that mistake once, I should have let you go." He
lowered his eyes briefly, then raised them again. "I will not stand in
your way this time, you are free to leave." Both Ray and Victoria stared
at him surprised. 
        "You would let me walk away?" she demanded hesitantly. "Even after
all of this, you would let me go?" Fraser nodded and she knew he was
telling the truth because he did not lie. Again her aim wavered as she
stared deep into his eyes. 
        "Will you go with me?" she asked. 
        "Yes." He agreed without reservation. "If you agree not to harm
Ray, I will go with you, Victoria." Ray bit down the protest that rose to
his lips, he had to trust Fraser to know what he was doing, and he would
not break the spell the Mountie was trying to cast over Victoria. Though
the idea of her getting away Scot free after she had tried to kill them
both did not set well with him, nor did the idea that Fraser would go with
her. Victoria glanced over at the henchmen that still held Ray. 
        "Release him." She ordered and they stared at her shocked. 
        "Are you nuts?" one of then yelled. 'You tried ta kill a cop! Ya
think they're really gonna let you walk?" Victoria stared him down. 
        "I said release him, now!" she adjusted her aim to hit the man
that had refused her order. Immediately they stepped away from Kowalski
and the detective had to force himself to lash out at them, it was
Fraser's show. Victoria lowered her weapon and turned to offer Fraser a
smile. "Shall we go then, Ben?" Ray caught the movement behind him, as one
of the henchmen pulled out a gun and aimed it at the Mountie. 
        "Fraser!" he warned, diving toward the man, but he was not quick
enough. The gun went off, Fraser and Victoria turned at the sound of Ray's
voice and then Victoria was suddenly in front of the Canadian, clinging to
him as he dried to support her weight. Ray struggled the gunmen to the
ground, rendering him unconscious and raised the discarded weapon toward
the other one, who had started to run. "Try it." The man dropped to the
ground with his hands behind his head as Fraser carefully lowered Victoria
to the floor. 
        "I....I couldn't let him shoot you, Ben." She rasped as he cradled
her in his arms. "V..Vecchio took you from me once, I..I couldn't let..."
Fraser shushed her, barely restrained tears evident in his voice as Ray
secured the men then found a phone and called for an ambulance. 
        "Don't talk love." He told her softly. "It will be all right.
You'll be fine." She offered him a smile. 
        "We'll be together, won't we, Ben?" she sighed. "Together
forever." Fraser nodded as a tear slipped out. 
        "Forever my love." He promised as Ray returned to his side, he
could tell from the wound that she would not make it. She did not turn to
look at him, her eyes holding Fraser's with a desperation that spoke of
her deep love for him. 
        "I...never wanted to..." She stiffened in his arms for a moment,
then relaxed again and both men knew the end was near. "I should have
forgiven you...it wasn't your fault...you..." Her eyes started to close
and Fraser held her tighter. "I love you Ben.  It..it doesn't hurt anymore
my love." She gasped in wonder as her eyes wandered from his to stare at
something only she could see. "I see it, Ben.. our place...in
the..s..snow. Meet me there..." Her voice started to drift as she started
to relate the poem  she had told Fraser once before, to keep him alive. 
        "I will." He vowed with a trembling voice, so deep with emotion
that Ray had a hard time keeping his own tears at bay, as he began
stumbling through the stanzas with her. Finally her eyes closed and her
body went completely still, as sirens echoed in the distance. Ray placed a
supportive hand on Fraser's shoulder as he cradled the dead woman to his
chest, still whispering their poem, and wiped away his tears. 
  

        Ray entered his apartment quietly, he had dropped Fraser off at
the Consulate, after they were brought back to the station, where his
Father had brought the GTO after hearing that his son was alive. His
mother fussed and cried and he received a few grateful remarks from his
fellow officers, but he was so worried about Fraser that he barely heard
any of them. The Mountie had reverted to his typical rigid pose that
dissuaded anyone from getting close, his face a passive stone mask, his
eyes shaded with secrets he refused to reveal. Ray tried to convince him
to come back to his apartment with him but Fraser had insisted he wanted
to be alone. 
       Against his better judgement, Ray had to respect his partner's
wishes and so left him at the Consulate while he drove home. His mother
had brought him a change of clothes, from the wet things he wore, and made
him promise to stop by their trailer the following morning, even Mr.
Kowalski was unusually affectionate with his son, insisting he listen to
his mother and come see them. 
        Ray dropped his keys and shoulder holster on the table, he had
simply slung it over his shoulder, after he had changed clothes, rather
than strap it back on again. He had found both his guns and his cell phone
in a small room in the theater, and he set these on the table as well,
stretching from the sudden soreness that attacked him. He rolled his head
around a moment, trying to loosen the muscles in his neck, as he moved to
retrieve a beer from the fridge, he needed a drink badly. After taking a
few swallows, he quietly kicked off his boots and moved toward his
bedroom, only mildly surprised to find the small sleeping form of
Francesca Vecchio curled up on his bed. He leaned against the doorframe
and studied her, he could make out one side of her face in the dim light
of the street lamp outside his window, she had been crying and she wore no
makeup. Ray decided she never looked more vulnerable or more beautiful. 
        He took another swig of his beer then silently tread across the
carpet to the other side of the bed. He placed his beer on the nightstand
and pulled his shirt over his head, his eyes never leaving the woman
curled up under the covers. He pulled his sheets back, noticing that
Francesca was wearing one of his T-shirts, his favorite one to be exact,
and he smiled. He pulled off his jeans and socks and climbed in next to
her, the warmth of her soft feminine form calling to him like a lighthouse
beacon to a lost ship. He cuddled into her back and wrapped his arm around
her waist, waiting to see if she stirred. When she didn't he lay his head
on the pillow and closed his eyes. 

        Francesca awoke with a start, disoriented and afraid for a brief
moment as she tried to remember where she was.  It slowly started to come
back to her, the phone call from Welsh, Ray was alive, and Fraser had
found him. They were taking him to the hospital for a check up but he
would be fine. She immediately packed a small bag and returned to Ray's
apartment, where she had been spending most of her time since his
disappearance, listening to his music, wearing his clothes and sleeping in
his bed. She waited and waited for him to come home last night, until she
could stay awake no longer and she had climbed into his bed. Relief that
he would soon be home caused another bout of tears, she had lost count of
the times she had cried for different reasons over the past few days. 
        She suddenly became of the warmth of a body behind her and she
turned slightly to realize that it was Ray, curled up with his arm around
her, sound asleep. He looked exhausted, poor baby, but she was so happy to
see him she couldn't help herself from turning in his arms so she could
look over his handsome features. She leaned forward and placed a kiss on
his lips, startling him awake. 
        "I'm sorry." She whispered with a shy smile, as she traced the
contours of his cheek with her finger. "I didn't mean to wake you." He
gave her a lazy smile and pulled her closer, shifting his position so she
could lay her head on his chest. "I'm glad yer okay. I missed you." 
        "I missed you too, baby." He murmured sleepily as his eyes started
to drift closed again. "I love ya Frannie." Francesca smiled and snuggled
closer, then suddenly bolted upright as his words hit her. 
        "Ray? What did you say?' she demanded quickly. No response. "Ray?
Ray!" She shook him awake and he opened a lazy eye to peer at her. 
        "I'm tryin' ta sleep, Frannie." He protested. "I've had a bitch of
a day..." 
        "What did you just say?" she demanded undeterred. 
        "I had a bitch of a.." 
        "Not that!" she smacked his chest and he winced, though it didn't
really hurt. "Before that. About me! What did you just say about me?" Ray
released a long sigh and allowed his eyes to close again. 
        "Ya heard me." He replied covering a yawn with the back of his
hand. Francesca's hands went for his throat to throttle him, then pulled
back. 
        "You tell me what you said, Raymond Kowalski!" she cried, so close
to tears she her entire body shook. "I wanna make sure I heard ya right,
you tell me what you said or I swear I'll...." Ray reached up and pulled
the half-hysterical woman down to him, capturing her mouth in a hungry
kiss. Francesca melted against him, her anger forgotten, as Ray's hands
molded her body to his. Finally they parted, their hearts pounding and the
breathing erratic. 
        "I said I love ya, Frannie." He murmured caressing her cheek as
his gaze held hers. "I love you, Francesca Vecchio. Just you and only
you." Francesca cried out and threw her arms around him tighter. 
        "I love you, Ray." She sniffed as he held her gently. "God I love
you so much." Ray smiled and lifted her chin so he could look her in the
eye again. 
        "How 'bout ya show me how much ya love me, Frannie?" he suggested
huskily. 
        "I thought ya were tired?" she teased with a smile. 
        "I'm never dat tired." He insisted claiming her lips once more. 
  

        Fraser lay on the small cot in his office and stared at the
ceiling, Diefenbaker slept quietly on the floor beside him, and the window
was open to allow the air to chill the office just enough to be
comfortable. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her, her hair her eyes,
her face, the blood on his hands, on her chest...He blinked at the sting
of tears until his eyes refocused once more. Ray had wanted to stay and
comfort him, but he didn't want to be comforted, he didn't deserve to be
comforted. Victoria was dead and he had failed her for the third time. He
didn't care about all that she had done, he didn't care about the hatred
that and consumed her, or the fact that she had tried to kill both his
partners and himself. He felt guilty and sorry for this, yes, but he
didn't really care. What emotions he did seem to posses seemed to have
died along with Victoria, all except the pain, the guilt, and the grief.
Those, as always stayed with him, as they often did. They plagued him,
overshadowing any other feelings he might have, especially if those were
good feelings. 
         Ray Kowalski made him feel good, he also aggravated and
frustrated the hell out of him, but over all Fraser always felt good
around his partner. The man had an uncanny ability to test the Mounties
limits and patience, thus enabling him a sacred look inside his soul. He
had revealed more of himself to Kowalski than he had to anyone he had ever
known, and the fact of that both pleased and frightened him. The detective
had a determined goal to get close to Fraser, though the reason for it was
beyond Fraser's comprehension. He was aware that Kowalski worried about
replacing Vecchio in Fraser's eyes, was concerned for the time when
Vecchio returned to claim the Mountie as his partner. 
        A few months ago, if Ray Vecchio had reappeared to take up his old
life, Fraser would have gone to him instantly. But now...after all the
things he and Kowalski had shared and suffered through, witnessing the
emotionally charged contradicting energy that was Stanley Kowalski, he
knew he could never be happy with Vecchio again. He still cared about his
old friend and partner, but it would never be the same, just as he knew he
could not erase the past for Victoria, he could not go back to being the
person he was with Ray Vecchio. Stanley was his partner now, perhaps more
than that if he were to be honest with himself. He needed Ray in his life,
needed his warmth and his light, needed his instincts and his mood swings,
and most of all needed his friendship. Kowalski had never made a secret of
how he felt about Fraser, had never been afraid to show his affection for
the man he considered a freak, which Fraser learned was really a term of
endearment from the detective. From day one, when Ray had hugged him like
a long lost brother, Fraser knew he needed this vibrantly independent
Chicago cop in his life, and today he had almost lost him for good. 
        That thought caused the rage inside of him to bubble to the
surface. Victoria would have killed Ray, had almost succeeded, without a
second thought to what she was doing. She had wanted to kill Ray to hurt
Fraser, to punish him for putting her in prison, as she had tried to
punish him with Ray Vecchio. He could not deny that he still loved her,
perhaps he always would, but she had almost succeeded in taking two of the
people he care most about away from him. Now she was dead, and she could
no longer hurt anyone, so why did he feel so empty inside? Why was he
morning her death so harshly? Why couldn't he get her out of his mind?
Would she never release the hold she had on him, even in death? 
        He released a long unsteady breath and moved his hand to cover his
eyes, then caught the gleam of Ray's silver bracelet, which was still
secured to his wrist. He had forgotten to return it to his friend in all
the commotion. He released the clasp and turned it over in his fingers,
examining it in the dim light of the moon that shone through his open
window. There was an inscription on the back and he squinted to try and
make it out. 
S.L.K/ Oct 1963. Fraser frowned, he didn't know of anyone by those
initials in Ray's family. His curiosity peeked he rose form the bed,
switched on his desk lamp, after Diefenbaker gave a disgruntled growl at
being disturbed, then turned on his computer. He entered the name and
waited, then stared at the screen in shock as a newspaper article from
1971 appeared.. 
      Silvia Loraine Kowalski. Daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Kowalski. Twin
sister to Stanley Ray, was reported missing today after her brother
claimed someone entered their room at night and took her from her bed.
Stanley was found the following morning locked in the children's closet,
unconscious. 
         Fraser scanned for more articles and a moment later another one
appeared. 
     Search called off for missing girl Silvia Kowalski, who was kidnapped
from her home over two months ago. Family offered no comment other than
they prayed someone would bring their daughter home safely 
        Fraser shook his head, how awful for Ray to have lost his sister
in that way and according to the articles she was never found. Now he
understood a little of why his partner wore the bracelet constantly, it
was perhaps a reminder of what he had lost and a hope that one day he
might find her. He now also understands why Ray was always more volatile
and urgent during kidnapping cases. Fraser placed the bracelet carefully
in his desk drawer, he would return it to Ray tomorrow, then shut off his
lamp and computer and attempted to get some sleep. 
  

        Thatcher knocked on Fraser's door once then pushed it open,
surprised when she found the Mountie still sleeping. His hair was damp, as
though he had just come from the shower, the few blankets that adorned his
meager cot were bunched closer to the floor, rather than covering him and
it was freezing in the small office. Diefenbaker whined and trotted past
her to the corridor outside while she walked over and closed the open
window, shivering slightly even in her thick polyester slack suit. 
        She turned back toward Fraser and saw that he had still not
awakened, which also surprised her, he was so alert to every sound, but
then after what she had heard of last night she couldn't really blame him
for being out of sorts. She moved closer to the bed and arranged the
covers over him, unable to resist pushing back a lock of his hair from his
brow. He looked so damn vulnerable, so alone, that she was tempted to
climb in next to him, just to let him know someone was with him that
cared. She never understood what drew her to him, only that it was the
strongest sensation she had ever felt and that it wore her down to fight
the urge every single day. Why couldn't they have just met somewhere, like
a library or café? Why did she have to be his superior and he her
subordinate? 
        With a sigh, she allowed herself the small luxury of brushing her
lips against his in a gentle kiss, then started to move away, only to have
his hand come up and firmly grasp her wrist. She jumped as his eyes flew
open and he stared at her, though not quite focused. 
        "Sir?" he asked his voice still heavy with sleep. 
        "Go back to sleep, Fraser." She whispered, trying to pull her hand
free, his touch was doing strange things to her heart rate, among other
things. 
        "Don't leave me." He pleaded and she was uncertain if he was even
really awake. Surly he wasn't, for he would never blatantly ask such a
thing of her, it was not in him to act the slightest bit inappropriately. 
        "I won't leave, Ben." She assured surprised the words had come
from her own lips. "Go back to sleep, I'll stay with you." She traced her
fingers along his forehead, a soothing gesture that was meant to comfort,
but seemed to cause him to shiver in response. 
        "I'm sorry..." he muttered and she cooed affectionately. 
        "Hush, darling. It's all right. Go to sleep." Fraser finally
accepted that she was going to stay and he allowed his eyes to drift
closed again, though he did not relinquish his hold on her wrist. She
waited until his breathing had returned to a slower, steady pace and his
fingers loosened, before careful extracting her arm and placing his empty
hand over his chest. She rose quietly and moved back to the desk,
switching off the ringer on Fraser's phone, then slid outside, closing the
door quietly behind her. Diefenbaker had taken up guard outside and she
leaned down to pet him. 
        "Don't let anyone bother him." She ordered the wolf in a
surprising moment of acceptance for the creature. Diefenbaker whined and
settled against the door protectively. "Good boy. I'll bring you a treat
later." Diefenbaker seemed content with her promise and rested his head on
his paws. Thatcher posted Turnbull at sentry duty, whish left her to
answer the majority of the phone calls that came in. 
  

        It was noon before the knock sounded at her office door and
Fraser, dressed impeccably as always in his red serge, requested
permission to speak to her. She quickly slipped her glasses of and allowed
him to enter. 
        "What is it, Fraser?" she demanded quickly, as always
concentrating more on the report she was reading, or squinting at rather,
than the beautiful man before her. He cleared his throat, caressed an
eyebrow with his thumb and shuffled his feet slightly before speaking. 
        "I..ah..Sir. I wish to apologize for my..for not...for neglecting
my duties this morning." He finally managed. "I have no excuse and I would
full understand any disciplinary action you would care to take regarding
my lack of presence." She glanced up at him briefly, he still looked very
tired, but better than he had earlier. Her eyes returned to the report and
he watched her squint once again to read the words written there.    
"Ah...perhaps your glasses..." he began and she looked at him sharply. 
        "I don't wear glasses, Fraser." She denied and he nodded
contritely. 
        "Ah..yes. I'm sorry, my mistake." He stood there for a long time,
waiting for her response while she continues to pretend to be able to read
the paper in her hands. "Um..Sir?" 
        "Yes, Fraser?" she asked distractedly. 
        "About this morning, Sir? My punishment?" She glanced at him
again, as though surprised, then waved a hand at him. 
        "Carry on Constable." She replied finally, her eyes leaving him a
third time. "Relieve Turnbull until your shift ends." Fraser regarded her
curious, he had been expecting a dressing down, forms to fill out in
triplicate, or perhaps ordered to Sentry duty for the rest of the week,
but she had not made the slightest effort to reprimand him for sleeping
in. She noticed that he was still there. "You're dismissed, Fraser." 
        "Yes, Sir." He replied quickly, not wanting to look a gift horse
in the mouth, as Ray would say, and he started to move toward the door.
"Thank you kindly, Sir." Just as he stepped over the threshold she raised
her head again. 
        "Fraser?" he turned back to her. 
        "Yes, Sir?" 
        "Don't let it happen again." Fraser nodded. 
        "Understood." He agreed and she again continued to read as he
started to close her door. As soon as it clicked shut she reached for her
glasses again. She may have to invest in contacts one of these days, she
thought grimly as she turned back to her report. 

        Fraser and Ray were leaned over either side of Francesca's as she
retrieved some information for them, Ray whispered something in her ear
and she smiled secretly as Fraser leaned behind her to whisper in turn to
Ray. 
         "I don't believe that is physically possible, Ray." Francesca
blushed as Ray shook his head, he'd forgotten about old Eagle ears. He
grinned and squeezed Frannie's shoulder affectionately. 
         "He's just jealous because he hasn't tried it." He assured her
making the Mountie blush and Francesca giggled. Welsh barked for Ray and
he left to answer his superior's call. Fraser offered Francesca a small
smile as she printed up the information they needed. 
         "You two are getting along well, I see." He remarked softly and
she returned his smile as she handed him the sheet. 
         "Yah," she sighed. "I just wish I didn't have ta pretend he was
my brother and we could stop this secret meeting stuff." Fraser nodded in
understanding as he watched Francesca's gaze drift across to where the man
she loved spoke with Welsh outside his office. Fraser followed her gaze,
just as Stella Kowalski strode past them in a tailored outfit and smelling
of expensive perfume. She approached the Lieutenant, interrupting his
conversation with Ray, who glanced up at her approach with a smile. She
returned his smile as she spoke with them, her hand occasionally touching
Ray's arm or shoulder as she leaned closer to hear him speak. She laughed
at something he said, as did Welsh and Fraser watched Francesca turn away
angrily. He wanted to comfort her but he didn't know what to say, he was
confused by Ray's behavior toward his ex-wife. 
         "Are you all right, Francesca?" he asked gently as she stood up
from her desk. 
         "C..can we talk, Frase?" she pleaded, tears shining in her eyes
and he immediately nodded. 
         "Of course." He followed her away from the desk and stepped
inside the closet when she opened it. He reached for the light as she
closed the door, but she caught his hand. 
         "Leave it off." She muttered; preferring the darkness and Fraser
complied. He could tell she was on the verge of tears, perhaps she didn't
want him to see her crying. In a slow, stumbling voice she told him about
Ray and Stella and Fraser listened quietly until she was finished. He
handed her a handkerchief, for she was practically sobbing now, whether he
could see her well enough or not he knew that at least. 
         "What can I do, Francesca?" he offered, ever willing to play the
knight in shining armor and rescue the damsel in distress. "Do you..." he
shifted what he was about to suggest was very dishonest, especially toward
his friend and partner, but he couldn't stand for Francesca to be hurting
so. "Do you want to...should we perhaps try to make him realize your
importance to him?" 
         "Ya mean make him jealous, Frase?" she sniffed surprised. 
         "Ah..well, that is one suggestion, it has worked many times
before in past situations. In fact history is renown for the use of
jealousy as a way to win back a partner and many books support..." 
         "I..I don't wanna do that Fraser." She refused softly, touched
that he was willing to go to such lengths for her as to pretend to be
interested, when she knew how difficult such a thing was for him. "We both
know how..well obsessive Ray can get, I don't wanna cause problems between
you guys by gettin' him pissed off at ya."  Fraser nodded grateful, trying
to think what Ray Vecchio would do in his place, well, Vecchio would try
and kill Ray for hurting, Francesca. He couldn't do that, he liked Ray. 
         "W..would you like me to..um..." He shuffled and caressed his
eyebrow, she knew he was doing this without even seeing him, she knew her
Mountie well. When he pulled on his ear and cracked his neck she knew he
was nervous. "Would you prefer that I..ah...kick him in the head then?"
Francesca laughed. 
         "No, Fraser, thanks anyway." Fraser sighed in relief, he hadn't
been looking forward to that prospect, and violence was so unbecoming of a
Mountie. 
         "Oh, good." He replied and she smiled again. Well, at least he
had cheered her up somewhat. She stepped closer and gave him a hug. 
         "Thanks fer watchin' out fer me though." She praised, glad when
he returned her hug with only a brief hesitation. 
         "Always, Francesca." He assured, just as the closet door opened
and the light that suddenly flooded their surrounding darkness momentarily
blinded them. Ray stared at them, his eyes narrowing on their position,
causing Francesca and Fraser to quickly step apart. 
         "We got work ta do, Fraser." The detective informed coldly. "If
yer done playin' post office maybe ya can join me ta try and get more of
da criminal element off da street." Fraser stepped out of the closet
quickly, followed closely by Francesca. 
         "Certainly, Ray." He agreed apprehensively. 
         "Ray it's not..." Francesca had started to say but Ray was
already headed away from her, not  bothering to wait and see if Fraser
would follow. She shot the Mountie a pleading look and he offered her a
reassuring smile. 
         "I'll explain it to him Francesca." He promised heading after his
partner. 
  

         Fraser didn't get a chance to broach the subject until Ray was
driving him back to the Consulate after they had finished booking their
latest suspects. Ray had been coldly silent with him, speaking only when
he had to and then he would  practically take Fraser's head off with his
tone of voice. 
         "I'd like to talk with you for a moment, Ray." Fraser finally
requested as they pulled up outside the Consulate. "Will you come inside
for a moment?" Ray looked like he was about to refuse, but then he
switched off the engine and got out as Fraser pulled the seat forward to
allow Diefenbaker out of the back. They climbed the steps and Fraser
unlocked the door, then secured it behind them once they were inside. He
switched on some lights and dropped his hat on the nearest desk.  Ray
automatically handed the Mountie his weapons, knowing even this late at
night, that Fraser would follow the rule of not bringing firearms into
Canada, even though Technically they were in Chicago, the Canadians didn't
see it that way.  Fraser secured the detective's weapons in a drawer and
turned to him. "Would you like something to drink, Ray?" 
         "Sure." The detective muttered, feeling naked without his guns,
and followed the Mountie to the Consulate's kitchen, where Fraser prepared
coffee for Ray and a cup of tea for himself. Ray settled at the small
table and stared at the contents of his cup stubbornly, not meeting his
partner's gaze. Fraser put a bowl of food down for Dief then settled
opposite the American. 
         "I'd like to explain the situation earlier today, Ray." Fraser
finally continued. There is nothing going on between Francesca and
myself." Ray grunted and played with his cup. 
         "Yah, I could really see dat, Fraser." He spat sarcastically and
Fraser sighed. 
         "She wanted to speak privately, so we went to the closet, it
seems to be the preferred room for quiet chats, in fact we have used it as
did the real Ray Vecchio and myself on many occasions. Why I remember
once..." 
     "Fraser!" Ray exclaimed agitated. "I don't wanna hear about you and
Vecchio." His eyes narrowed. "Either Vecchio, ya got me?" 
         "It isn't what you are thinking, Ray." Fraser protested,
determined to get through to his partner's stubbornness. "She saw you with
Stella and it upset her. She merely wanted to go somewhere private where
she could..." He didn't know if he should tell Ray that Francesca had been
crying, so instead he said. "Be alone with her thoughts for a few
minutes." 
         "Gee Fraser, I always thought alone meant by yerself." Ray
retorted. "So why da hell were you in dere wit her? Moral support?" 
         "Yes, Ray." Fraser admitted calmly and Ray glared at him. "She
needed a..what do you call it? A sounding board and I was the closest she
could find. You were otherwise occupied laughing it up with your ex-wife."
Ray's head shot up and he stared at Fraser suspiciously. 
        "What's dat supposed ta mean?" he demanded, but Fraser was
untouched by his sudden hostility. 
         "I was merely stating a fact, Ray." He assured freely. "Francesca
was upset and I was comforting her. There was nothing sexual or romantic
between us, Ray, as you well know I do not view Francesca in that way. She
is my friend and a special person, I wish only to protect her." 
         "Protect her from what, Fraser?" Ray charged. "From me?" Fraser
nodded, surprising him. 
         "If need be, yes." He admitted quietly. Ray gaped at him,
shocked. 
         "I'd never hurt, Frannie, Frase." He denied quickly. 
         "You are hurting her, Ray." Fraser concluded subdued. "She sees
you with Stella and it hurts her." Fraser released a deep breath and
pulled at his ear. "You can't expect her to wait for ever, Ray. She's a
beautiful, passionate, vibrant young woman and it isn't fair to make her
doubt herself by waiting while you decide who you love more." Ray stared
at him; surprised the Mountie had even the guts to say something about it,
to discuss something he usually considered too intimate or inappropriate.
Still, it galled him to have Fraser tell him how to live his life. 
         "If she's so great why don't you go after her then?'" he
suggested hotly. 
         "Because she is in love with my best friend." Fraser reasoned
delicately and Ray's face went completely blank for a moment. Finally he
looked away and stared at his untouched coffee. Fraser reached across the
table and placed his hand gently over Ray's, causing the detective to
glance up at him again questioningly. He could see the fear and confusion
in his eyes and he ached to make things better for him. 
         "I..I dunno what to do, Fraser." Ray sighed suddenly and his
angry mask crumbled despairingly. "I do love Frannie, but Stella...well,
Stella is...Stella." Fraser nodded he understood how deeply Ray's feelings
went for his ex-wife. He also suspected that she would only hurt his
partner again, should he return to her. 
         "I am certainly not one to give advice on relationships, Ray." He
stated grimly and Ray smiled a little. 
         "Ya been doin' pretty damn good so far, tellin' me what a jerk
I'm bein'." Ray commented, turning his hand over and folding it against
Fraser's. It was strange to be holding a man's hand like this, but at the
same time it felt right and for once Fraser wasn't resisting the intimate
contact, in fact he had initiated it. 
         "Ray. Ray. Ray." Fraser sighed and Kowalski grinned. 
         "Yep, dat's my name." Fraser's lips twitched but didn't form a
smile. 
         "You have to do what is right for you." Fraser insisted wisely. 
         "How do I know what dat is, Frase?" 
         "Consider what is more important to you." Fraser suggested. "With
Stella you will have everything you had once before, it will be familiar,
comfortable, acceptable." Fraser hoped Ray understood that everything
meant the bad things that came with Stella as well, her constant
criticizing, her undermining Ray's own importance, accepting him as only
second to her job and whatever else she needs for her career. Fraser felt
bad judging the woman this harshly, but she had not yet given him cause to
change his opinion of her. 
         "And with Frannie?" Ray asked quietly. 
         "Well, Francesca is...." Fraser paused contemplating. 
         "A chatterbox." Ray supplied. 
         "Friendly. " Fraser amended. 
         "Loud." 
         "Articulated 
         "Stubborn." 
         "Persistent." 
         "Opinionated." 
         "Honest." 
         "Violent." Ray pressed grinning and Fraser paused, knowing he
couldn't argue that. He changed tactics instead. 
         "With Francesca it will depend on how you approach the
relationship, I imagine." Fraser admitted. "I don't pretend to understand
women, especially Francesca Vecchio, but I do know that she had an...inner
light. She sparkles, Ray. Yes sometimes she can be quite annoying and
frustrating, but that is part of what makes her unique. I suspect a
relationship with her would be surprising and somewhat volatile at times."
He smiled. "I don't know that with both of your tempers you may not just
clash and explode one day in a fiery display of light." Ray chuckled. 
         "Yah, Frannie's explosive all right." He agreed. "It would never
be boring dats fer sure." He frowned. "But I'm supposed ta be pretendin'
ta be her brother, Fraser. We can't be seen goin together, it would blow
Vecchio's cover." 
         "So you carry on secretly." Fraser surmised. "There is nothing
more exciting then a forbidden relationship Ray, all the books say so." 
        "Is dat what you and Thatcher got, ol' buddy?' Ray countered
grinning. "A forbidden relationship?" Fraser stiffened and blushed. 
         "We are not discussing Inspector Thatcher and myself, Ray." He
determined firmly. 
         "Why ain't we?" rebuked Ray amused. "How come we can talk about
my love life and not yers?" Fraser pulled his hand away and stood to carry
his cold tea over to the sink. He muttered something under his breath as
he emptied the contents of the cup. 
         "What was dat, Fraser?" Ray asked from directly behind him and he
jumped slightly at finding the detective so close, he hadn't even heard
him move! Sometimes his partner's stealth like abilities got the better of
him and he didn't like it, not one bit. 
         "I said. " Fraser repeated, knowing the Ray wouldn't let the
subject drop until Fraser answered him. "That in order to discuss one's
love life, one must have a love life, Ray." Ray chuckled and dumped his
coffee into the sink setting his cup next to Fraser's empty one, the he
hopped up on the counter and pulled a toothpick from the small cup beside
him, propping it between his lips. 
         "We should do something about dat den." He decided boldly and
Fraser huffed at him, his tone an octave higher when he spoke again, a
sign that he was either irritated or amused by Ray's words. 
         "Oh, yes." He agreed saucily. "Your love life is so much better
that you need to start messing with mine." Ray laughed in delight at
getting his Mountie worked up, it was so rare that he was able to. He
liked it when Fraser turned playful, it was a whole different side to the
Canadian and though Fraser would never admit to being ill mannered enough
for sarcasm, Ray sensed when he was very close to crossing the line into
Ray's world of satirical overtures. 
         "Maybe I should get in a closet wit da Ice Queen and see if we
can get yer dander up." Ray teased. "Turn about is fair play after all."
Fraser  shot him a bold look. 
         "I have no doubt that should you find yourself in a closet with
my superior officer, Ray." He began. "You would be pleading for your own
life within minutes." Ray grinned. 
         "Are ya sayin' she's violent, Fraser?" 
         "No," he countered easily. "Merely immune to your type of
shanagins and would deal with you appropriately." Fraser released a loud
sigh and moved from the kitchen. "How on earth did we even come to discus
Inspector Thatcher anyway? We were talking about you, Ray." Ray jumped off
the counter and followed his friend. 
         "Yah, but it's more fun discussin' you, Frase." Fraser shook his
head as he retrieved his hat and headed for his office. 
         "Seriously Ray," he said as he opened his door and switched on
the light. "You really do need to decide, you are going to end up hurting
one of them, surely, but you can't keep delaying it like this, it isn't
right." Ray sighed and dropped onto Fraser's cot, careful to avoid
Diefenbaker who had jumped up and already snuggled down for the night. 
         "I know." He replied quietly, playing with the toothpick in his
mouth as Fraser began to unbuckle the straps and fasteners that held his
Sam Brown and tunic in place. "I'm sorry fer jumpin' on ya today about
Frannie." 
         "You care for her, Ray." Fraser concluded gently as he folded his
tunic and set it on his desk. "It is perfectly natural to be jealous." 
         "Yah, but I shoulda known you'd never....well y'know." Ray
shrugged. "I guess I'm a little touchy about dat, I mean Frannie had it
bad fer ya for a long time, Frase. Who's ta say she won't, ya know, want
ya again if ya give her any encouragement?' Fraser shook his head. 
         "Because, Ray." He reasoned. "She is in love with you." He
frowned. "Why do you doubt that so easily? Aren't you sure how you feel
about Francesca? Don't you love her?" Fraser was stunned to find himself
talking so easily about such delicate matters. His Father would never
approve, he though grimly. 
        He glanced at Ray who was contemplating his words and almost
smiled. Ray made it easier, with Ray he knew he could say anything and his
friend would not judge him, that he would remain his friend and partner.
The knowledge that Fraser had accepted him so fully in his life suddenly
frightened him. What about rejection? What if Ray decided he didn't want
to be his partner anymore? What if Fraser got transferred back to Canada,
would he and Ray still be close? What if Ray betrayed him, like so many
other s had? What if..." 
         "For God's sake son!" His father exclaimed gruffly from behind
him and Fraser twirled around to look at him startled. "Stop annualizing
every little thing. Nothing lasts forever, just accept what you have for
today and forget the rest. The yank won't let you down, not like the
others, he's a keeper son." Fraser Sr. smiled. "Why, he's practically
Canadian." Fraser stared at his father in horror, then back at Ray, who
was still musing, while he scratched Diefenbaker's ears. 
         "Who are you and what did you do with my Father?" Fraser muttered
to the ghost quietly. Fraser Sr. huffed indignantly. 
         "Really, Son, I can have a opinion." He stated. "I may be dead,
but even I can see the yank is good for you." Robert Fraser adjusted his
hat appropriately and sniffed. "If you could just get him to speak like a
normal person and perhaps dress a little more appropriately he'd be just
wonderful." The ghost smirked. "Although I do find those colorful phrases
of his amusing. I remember old Tom Jordan, mouth like a sailor but he
could certainly wow the ladies. Why I remember one time we..." 
         "Later, Dad." Fraser hissed, glancing to see if Ray was hearing
their interaction, or rather Fraser's side anyway, but the blond had lain
back on the cot beside the wolf with his eyes closed. Fraser wondered if
he was asleep, it had been a long day. He turned back to address his
Father and found him gone. "He comes he goes..." Fraser muttered to
himself as he moved toward Ray, gently shaking him awake. 
         "Wa?" Ray stared up at him, dazed. 
         "If you're very tired Ray, you are welcome to stay here tonight."
Fraser informed. "But you might wish to undress and get under the covers
the temperature is dropping outside." Ray pulled himself into a sitting
position with a tired moan. 
         "No, I'll go, Fraser." He decided, but when he tried to stand,
Fraser had to catch him before he fell backwards. 
         "You are too tired, Ray." He insisted. "Stay here tonight. Allow
me to return the favor for my staying at your place the other night." Ray
grumbled and dropped back on the cot. 
         "Yah, but at least I had a bed and a couch, Frase." He protested.
"This place you sleep in is so small ya gotta leave da room to change yer
mind." Fraser chuckled and tossed an extra blanket at his friend then
moved to prepare his bedroll. "At least let me take da floor, Fraser." 
         "Nonsense, Ray." Fraser deflected stretching the bag out close to
the window. "You would only hurt your back and besides I prefer the
floor." Ray shrugged; knowing it was useless to argue and started to pull
off his boots, just as knock sounded at the front door of the Consulate.
Both men glanced up surprised, for it was rather late for a visit. They
both stood and went to the door. 
         "Gimmie my guns, Fraser." He whispered as they neared the door. 
         "There is no evidence the person at the door is even a threat,
Ray.'" Fraser persisted as he moved to unlatch the lock; glad he had only
had time to remove his tunic before their visitor appeared. 
         "But if they are I can help." Ray insisted, but Fraser was
already sliding back the lock and opening the heavy wooden door. A woman,
pulling the folds of her coat closer around her in the dropping
temperature, glanced up at Fraser relieved. A thin, colorful scarf covered
her hair, and her eyes were a deep dark green. 
         "Welcome to Canada, Miss. I am Constable Fraser." Fraser greeted
moving back so she could step inside and he could close the door on the
cold. "Are you injured? How may we be of assistance?" She allowed him to
take her coat as she pulled the scarf from her hair and allowed a
waterfall of flaxen blond hair too fall about her shoulders. 
         "T...thank you." She stammered, rubbing her arms over her
sweatshirt sleeves in an effort to get warm. "I...I didn't know if anyone
would be here. I...I lost my passport and purse on the train in and I...I
asked if there was a Canadian Consulate nearby. The driver of a cab
b...brought me here." 
         "Well, well certainly do everything we can for you." Fraser
assured quickly. "But first allow me to fix you some tea, it will warm you
right up." She smiled. 
         "T...thank you." She said following Fraser to the kitchen, Ray
walked close behind them. She accepted a cup of steaming chamomile tea
from the Mountie a few moments later and they all settled at the table.
"My name is Sandra King." She offered sipping the tea and allowing it to
warm her insides for a moment. 
         "It is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. King." Fraser announced kindly
then introduced Ray, who smiled at her. She stared at him, having visibly
paled and his smile faltered. 
         "Is somethin' wrong?" he asked quickly and she shook her head. 
         "No." she returned still staring at him. "You just...well you
look familiar." Ray shrugged. 
         "I got dat kinda face." He offered easily as Fraser retrieved a
can of soup form the cupboard and set about fixing it. 
         "We only have vegetable, is that alright?' he inquired and she
finally turned her attention to him. 
         "Please, don't go to any trouble." She began. 
         "It is no trouble." He assured quickly as he stirred the soup.
"You need something else to warm you so you don't become ill." She smiled
again, her frozen fingers wrapping around her cup gingerly. 
         "Thank you." She returned gratefully, then turned back to Ray as
he rose from the table. 
         "I'm pretty awake now, Frase." He commented. "I think I'll head
back ta my place." Fraser turned from the stove. 
         "Are you sure, Ray?" he countered doubtful and the detective
nodded. 
         "Yah, if ya'll get my...er equipment." He shot the Mountie a
meaningful look, not wanting to say guns in the woman's presence incase
she became worried. 
         "Of course, Ray." he replied, then to Sandra. "If you will excuse
us, Ms. King, it will only take a moment." She nodded. 
         "Yes, Of course Constable." She returned, rising to catch Ray's
arm as he turned to follow Fraser. "Are you sure we don't know each other?
Have you ever been to Canada?" Ray shook his head. 
         "Only once and dat was on an assignment." He stated grinning.
"I'd a remembered if I'd met someone dat looked like you, trust me." She
blushed and released his arm. 
         "Yes, of course." she murmured. "Thank you." He nodded and went
out. She stared after him, wondering why he seemed so familiar. She
shrugged and returned to the table to finish her tea. 

  
          Ray had just started to get out of the GTO when Fraser jogged
down the steps, dressed in his casuals, a white turtleneck sweater, blue
jeans, boots and worn brown leather jacket. His Stetson of course, met the
dashboard the minute he climbed in beside his partner. 
         "I know it is our day off, Ray." He commented as Ray pulled out
into traffic. "But would be so kind as to stop by the Dorchestor hotel so
that I might give Ms. King her papers and passport? They just arrived this
morning and I am sure she would appreciate having them." 
         "Sure, Fraser." Ray replied easily. "Da game doesn't start fer
another hour or so." Fraser nodded gratefully, he and Ray had planed to
take in a hockey game at the local stadium, the detective did like the ice
sport, much more than curling Fraser thought amused. They pulled up at the
hotel a few minutes and both went inside. They rode the elevator to the
fifth floor, stepped into the corridor and headed for room 503. Fraser
knocked on the door and it was answered a moment later my Sandra wearing
only a long terry cloth robe and a towel around her hair, obviously she
had just come from the shower. Fraser stammered embarrassed. 
         "Ah...I am sorry to intrude...er...Ms. King. But I thought that
perhaps you would like your papers. They came today." She smiled at them
and opened the door wider so they could step inside. 
         "Thank you, Fraser." She returned as she led them into the large
sitting area. "Hello, Ray." The detective didn't answer her he was staring
at her intently. "Ray?" Her hand went to her face. "Do I have soap on my
face still?" 
         "Yer eyes." He murmured dazed and she smiled and nodded. 
         "I wear contacts." She explained as Fraser found himself
examining the now pale blue color of her eyes curious as she continued. "I
figured I may as well have different colors since I have to wear them."
Both men continued to stare at her, and Fraser suspected there was
something very familiar about that particular shade of blue. He glanced at
his partner suddenly and was shocked to see the same eyes starring back at
him. 
         "What, Fraser?" he asked startled by the Mounties sudden
scrutiny. Fraser looked from one to the other. No, it was just a
coincidence, after all, this woman was a Canadian and...He shook his head
again. 
         "Nothing Ray." He assured offering Sandra the folder he had
brought with him and his eye caught the sparkle of medal as she reached
for it and her wrist was exposed from underneath the heavy wool of the
robe. Ray suddenly grabbed her wrist and she jerked startled. 
         "W...where did you get this?" he demanded hoarsely and she stared
at him somewhat frightened, as she pulled her arm away. 
         "I've always had it." She defended rubbing her wrist tenderly.
"Why?" 
         "W...what did ya say yer name was?" he asked and she glanced at
Fraser confused. 
         "S...Sandra King." 
         "Are ya sure dat's yer name?' Ray was looking at her with such
intensity she felt her skin burn from his gaze. Again she looked to
Fraser, who seemed equally bothered, as he watched them quietly. 
         "I...I...yes, I'm sure." She managed. "Why?" Ray moved up the
cuff of his jacket and showed her his silver bracelet; identical to the
one she was wearing. She stared at it, almost touched it the snatched her
hand away. "T...they're common enough." She remarked as Ray unfastened his
and showed her the engraving. 
         "Does....does yers have...are the initials SRK?" he managed,
tears causing his throat to close up and make it difficult to speak. She
stepped back as though he had slapped her. 
         "H...how do you know?" she shook her head appalled, her skin had
gone pale. "N...No one knows that?" Ray was shaking now as a single tear
ran down his cheek. 
         "Oh God!" He couldn't take his eyes off of her. "OH GOD!"  Fraser
cleared his throat and stepped forward. 
         "Sandra, can you tell us...where were you born?" 
         "I...I don't know exactly, I assumed somewhere in Canada where
..." Ray was watching her so closely now, he looked...shocked. She glanced
back at Fraser. "I...I was found in an abandoned building in Vancouver.
I...I had nothing with me, except this." She held up the wrist that had
the bracelet. "I assumed those initials were mine so the people that found
me decided that my name was Sandra King, like the initials...I.I don't
know what the R stands for." 
         "Raymond." Ray whispered in wonder. "I...it stands fer
S...Stanley R...Raymond Kowalski." She stared at him dumbfounded. 
         "I...I thought your name was Ray Vecchio?" she countered confused
and Ray shook his head as Fraser explained. 
        "It's a difficult situation that we cannot really go into, " he
stated. "But his name is really Stanley Ray Kowalski." 
         "S...Stanley Ray?" she repeated licking her lips nervously.
"It...it sounds...familiar but I..." 
        "Were you the victim of amnesia, Sandra?' Fraser asked gently and
she nodded excitement and fear growing on her face as she stared at Ray. 
         "Then...you know me! You know my name...my real name?" she
declared and Ray nodded. 
         "Yer name's Silvia Loraine..." He bit his lip, apprehension and
self-doubt entering his gaze briefly before he continued. "Kowalski. Yer
my twin sister." Sandra stared at him as the pain; the horrible pain
centered in her head and the room started to swim. 'Silvia Kowalski...my
sister...Stanley Ray..." Pieces of a childhood she had forgotten came
flowing back with tremendous force. 'Silvia! Stanley! Dinner time!....I'll
never leave ya Silvie...together forever Stanley Ray...I love you Stanley
Ray...' Fear assailed her as she saw the little blond boy tossed brutally
away from the man attacking her. "Leave my brother alone! You leave him
alone! Mama! Daddy! Stanley Ray!' Sandra was unaware that she had voiced
her last thought as darkness claimed her and she crumbled before them. 
  
  

         Sandra awoke to find Ray Vecchio...no. Not Vecchio...Kowalski,
kneeling beside her and running a cool cloth over her forehead, the
Mountie stood in the background. She stared into familiar eyes, so much
like her own and her lower lip trembled. She had a brother! A twin! She
couldn't remember everything else yet, just fragments really, but then the
doctors had told her that her memory may never fully return, should she
remember anything at all. But she remembered Stanley Ray, beautiful, shy,
sweet Stanley Ray who had been her protector, her confidant, and her
partner in crime when it came to getting in trouble with their parents.
Parents! Were they still alive? Did they know about her? She reached a
shaky hand up and touched Ray's cheek, noticing how his eyes closed and he
leaned into her touch reverently. 
         "Oh Stanley Ray." She cried throwing her arms around him and
pulling him into her embrace. Ray's arms wound carefully about her, her
position on the sofa preventing a more intimate hug, but he held her
anyway, his face turned into her shoulder, his body wracked with trembling
sobs. She held him, tears streaming down her own cheeks as she caressed
his hair tenderly. Oh, she remembered this. Remembered being held close by
her brother, remembered how sensitive he had always been when it came to
her. She glanced over at Fraser who had moved toward the window, turned
away to give them some privacy, but she watched his hand sneak up and
brush at his face and she suspected he was crying as well. Finally Ray
pulled back, perhaps so overcome by emotion it was scaring him and so he
needed the distance, though he didn't release her completely. 
         "I love you Silvie." He whispered,  as he slipped of his bracelet
and wrapped it around her wrist. "I w..wanted ta give dis back to ya fer a
long time." She watched him fasten it around her, as she removed the other
bracelet for him to do so. Then she secured his ID bracelet around his
wrist, so they were both wearing their own charms, after over twenty
years. He hugged her again then stepped back and helped her to sit up
slowly as Fraser returned to them, his eyes clear now. 
         "Mama and Daddy?' she asked them suddenly. "Are they...." 
         " 'De're still around." Ray assured wryly. "God dey ain't gonna
believe dis! Dey never believed me dat ya were still alive, Sil. I told
dem but dey thought I was nuts but I knew, I just knew you were out dere
somewhere." The idea that her brother had never given up hope of finding
her made her both delighted and sad. She had forgotten him, her parents,
everything, and had gone on to a new life. Stanley Ray had been waiting
all this time too find her and she hadn't even sensed he was out there.
Yes, she always felt there was something missing in her life, loneliness
she couldn't explain, but she assumed it was because she had no memory of
her past. 
         "Do you remember anything of how you arrived in Canada, Sandra?"
Fraser inquired, ever the one to get down to business and Ray glared at
him. 
         "Her name's Silvia, Fraser." He reminded firmly. 
         "Yes, Ray." Fraser agreed, "But she only just now found that out
and it may take some getting used to." Sandra/Silvia nodded and caressed
her brother's cheek affectionately, he'd grown up to be so handsome...she
smiled. His hair was as independent as ever she noticed. 
         "It's alright, Stanley Ray." She assured quickly. "He's right it
will take getting used to answering to that name." She smiled at Fraser.
"I don't remember very much of anything about before, I'm afraid. I was
found in an abandoned building with no memory of how I got there. A
Constable found me and he and his wife took me in." She smiled sadly.
"Gerald and Robin King. It seemed providence that the initials on my
bracelet,  my one identifying belonging, were similar to Mrs. King's, her
full name was Robin Sandra King, so that was the name they gave me, Sandra
Robin King." 
        "That is a remarkable coincidence." Agreed Fraser impressed. "So
you did the Kings raise you then?" She nodded. 
         "Yes, they were wonderfully patient with me and I...I had
considered entering law enforcement." She lowered her eyes, again sadness
permeated her features. "But Dad was killed on the job one night, just
before I was scheduled to enter the Academy. Mum..." She glanced at Ray,
who was listening intently, "I mean Mrs. King took ill and I had to stay
and take care of her. Not that I minded I mean I certainly could never
repay what they had don for me, and helping her while she was ill was
certainly no great sacrifice." 
         "So you almost became a Mountie?" Ray asked surprised as he
exchanged a glance with his partner. 
         "Oh my no!" she laughed shyly. "A Mountie...well, the training
was quite different for that type of posting and I...well I didn't think I
could manage that as well. No, no... I was just going to be an ordinary
constable like Da..um..Mr. King." Ray squeezed her hands reassuringly. 
         "It's okay dat ya call dem dat." He whispered. "Dey were yer
parents for a long time, dey took care of ya and I..." He his throat
closed over, again overcome by emotion. "I'm grateful to dem." She
couldn't help herself, she had to hug him again and he smiled and returned
her embrace. 
         "Anyway." She resumed when they parted again. "Mum died shortly
after, the cancer took her and it was a long drawn out battle I'm afraid,
three years." She shook her head. "After that I just didn't feel like
going to the academy, so I became a teacher instead." 
         "Yer a teacher?" Ray asked delighted. "What d'ya teach?" 
         "Well, I have a degree in physics and Literature." She announced
proudly, for she had worked hard for them. "I teach summer school for the
elementary kids during the summer and I work at a local college during the
school term." 
         "Wow!" remarked Ray astounded. "Ma and Pop will like dat." She
smiled a little and patted his hand. 
         "I'm sure they are very proud of you, being a police officer is a
noble profession, I should know." Ray lowered his eyes after exchanging a
quick glance with Fraser. 
         "Yah, sure." He muttered, then forced his bitterness back, no
time for that now. "Do ya..do ya want to meet dem? Are ya up ta it? Can I
tell dem I found ya?" 
         "Perhaps we should wait awhile, Ray." Fraser suggested kindly.
"San..I mean Silvia's reaction to you was quite upsetting, we don't want
to shock her system to much so quickly." Rya nodded chagrinned. 
         "Yer right!" he agreed grimly. "I dunno what I was thinking I
just....I want dem ta know." Silvia leaned forward and kissed his cheek,
though she was anxious to meet her parents, she did feel Fraser was right,
the shock would be too much too soon. 
         "Maybe after a couple of days." She suggested warmly. "Give us a
chance to get to know each other, then we'll face the folks?" Ray smiled
secretly and she tilted her head. "What?" 
         "Dat's what ya always called dem before..da folks..like dey were
someone else's and not ours." She stared at him surprised, perhaps she
remembered more than she thought. She offered him a wobbly smile. 
         "Shall we wait then?" she suggested and he nodded. 
         "You..do ya gotta go back to Canada soon?" suddenly Ray's voice
was edged with fear and she shook her head. 
         "I'm here on vacation, I have two whole weeks." She smiled.
"Isn't it amazing that the first vacation I have ever taken and I decide
to come to Chicago?" 
         "Perhaps something was drawing you here." Remarked Fraser as he
glanced at Ray. "Or someone." Ray grinned at him, though he had to admit,
the coincidences were certainly piling up. The fact that he had happened
to be at the Consulate when Silvia showed up, that her wallet had been
stolen bringing her to the Consulate and that he would have a second
opportunity to see her because of Fraser, his partner and a Canadian. 
         "Well, yer home now." Ray sighed. "God I can't believe it but ya
are. I missed ya so much Sil, I got so much ta tell ya." 
         "Perhaps you and your sister should get caught up then, Ray."
Fraser commented moving toward the door, Ray was o his feet instantly,
remembering they were supposed to spend the day together. 
         "What about the game, Frase?" he offered worried, he didn't want
to shut his partner out, despite the 
day' s revelations. 
         "Another time, Ray.' Fraser assured. "This is much more
important." He indicated the two of them. "I will see you later." 
         "Want me ta drive ya back?" 
         "No, I think I'll walk, I have some errands I can do." 
         "Wanna take the GTO?" 
         "I'll be fine thank you, Ray." He nodded to Silvia. "I will see
you later, Silvia." She smiled at him, a familiar, dazzling smile that
Fraser recalled seeing on a certain Chicago cop's face more than once. 
         "Thank you, Fraser." She whispered. Fraser nodded and left. 
  

        Silvia hung back, as Ray and Fraser stood next to her as she got
out of the GTO, at the Kowalski's motor home in the RV Park. Ray had
called and told his folks yesterday about finding his sister, but now
Silvia seemed to be having second thoughts about meeting the parents she
no loner remembered. Over the past three days she and Stanley Ray became
reacquainted, spending every spare moment together, trying to fill in the
gaps of her memory that Silvia lost and the years of her life that Ray had
missed. 
        She had been married and lost her Marine husband in Desert Storm,
she had a little girl, who was staying with her husband's family while she
was in Chicago. Her daughter's name was Ramona Estelle King, she had kept
her adopted name, even after she was married; her husband had changed his
last name to hers in reverence to her wish. Ray felt he would have liked
Joseph Walters, the man his sister had fell in love with and married, she
claimed Ray reminded her a lot of him. 
         "Ready?" Ray asked her gently, his arm around her waist
protectively. She offered him a hesitant smile and glanced at Fraser, who
they had both insisted come along, for he was the reason they were
together again. 
        Finally she nodded, just as the door to the trailer opened and the
Kowalski's stepped out. Again the nagging pain in Silvia's head started to
pound, but it was not as bad as before, because Stanley Ray had prepared
her. Barbara Kowalski stepped forward hesitantly as she stared at the
woman who was claiming to be her daughter, she saw the connection and
similarities between her woman and her son instantly and suddenly she was
running, her arms outstretched, reaching for Silvia. They embraced. 
         "Oh Mama!" Silvia cried as the older woman shook in her arms,
while Ray stood aside to allow them their moment. Barbara cried and hugged
her daughter, murmuring endearments of love over and over as Ray's eyes
met his Father's over their heads. 
         Derek Kowalski was pale and rigid, as he stared at his wife and
the other woman. Finally he set his jaw and shook his head, then climbed
back inside the trailer, slamming the door behind him. Silvia exchanged a
startled look with her brother, who after a moment's hesitation followed
his Father inside. The older man had turned away from his son, the moment
he entered, but then Ray mused wryly, he usually did. 
         "Don't you want ta say hello to yer daughter, Dad?" Ray accused,
trying to keep the anger out of his voice. How dare the man turn dismiss
Silvia like that, after all she had been through. It was fine if he wanted
to treat his son like that, but Ray wasn't going to stand for it with
Silvia. 
         "Ain't my daughter." His father informed pulling a beer from the
small fridge and popping it open. "My daughter's dead. Dat woman out there
is an imposter." Ray clenched and unclenched his hands, it was so
difficult to talk to this man, and Ray always felt like a bad little boy
being about to be sent to his room if he said the wrong thing. 
         "She is Silvie, Dad." He stated firmly. "We checked her out with
fingerprints and records, she is my sister and she is yer daughter." 
         "NO!" Derek Kowalski denied turning to face his son. "She can't
be our Silvia! Our baby died! They took her away and they killed her son,
they killed yer sister..they... they must've because...because..." Derek
turned away again, shaking and Ray started at him shocked. 
         "Because why, Dad?' he demanded quietly, taking an uncomfortable
step toward his Father. "Because they didn't find her? Because you and Mom
gave up looking?" He was growing angry now. "Silvie has ta be dead because
you can't believe she's been alive all these years when you didn't bother
to try and find her? Dat ya made a mistake?" So much anger filling him,
all the rage he had swallowed over the years in trying to be what his
father had wanted him to be, so much disappointment and disillusionment
roaring up inside him that he was shaking with the effort to contain it
all. 
         "Don't you talk to me that way!" His Father snapped but Ray was
too far-gone to listen. 
         "Why does she have ta be dead, Dad?" He pressed. "Because you say
so? Because ya can't admit dat just once, I was right about somethin'?
Because ya never shoulda left us alone in da first place?" Derek Kowalski
took a menacing step toward his son. 
         "Shut up! Shut up damn you!" He screamed, unaware that the door
had opened and the others stood watching. "It's yer fault! All yer fault!
You should've protected her she was yer sister!" 
         "I was eight years old!" Ray screamed back at him. "I was just a
kid you sonofabitch!" Ray's head reared backwards from his Father's blow,
and Silvia and Barbara cried out in surprise and horror, as Ray struggled
to remain upright. He wiped the blood from his mouth, and shook off his
Mother's pleading arm as he pushed past them and stumbled out of the
trailer. Everyone stared at Derek Kowalski, who was staring at his curled
fist as though it were a foreign object. He started to move toward the
door but Fraser blocked his exit, his blue eyes cold and menacing as he
stared down at the older man. 
         "Leave Ray alone." He warned. 
         "He's my son!" the man declared. "Don't you interfere." 
         "Yes, he is your son." Fraser agreed grimly. "Perhaps you start
treating him like one. I will tend to Ray, he is my friend and I will not
have you hurt him again, I do not care who you are." Derek Kowalski stared
at the Mounties departing back, then turned regretfully back to his wife
and daughter. 

         Fraser found Ray a short distance away, skipping rocks across the
small pond of the park, and he could see his partner was still shaking
with anger and shock. 
         "Ray?' Fraser questioned quietly, as he approached him, but Ray
didn't turn to greet him. 
         "Go 'way Fraser." He muttered gruffly and Fraser could tell that
he was crying. "I ain't in da mood ta talk." 
         "Then we won't talk." Fraser agreed amiably as he remained a few
steps away, so as not to crowd his friend. "We'll just stand here
and...think." Ray paused in mid throw, then flicked his wrist and watched
the rock skip, one...two...three...four times across the surface of the
water. They stood silently for awhile, then Ray bent to retrieve more
rocks and Fraser took the opportunity to speak again, and explaining if he
angled his wrist just slightly to the left the rock would skip further. He
demonstrated with a rock of his own then looked to Ray, who for once
didn't seem to mind the correction. He tossed his rock and watched it skip
six almost seven times across the water. He offered Fraser a tiny smile
and the Mountie did not comment on his friend's tear stained face or the
dark bruise that was forming around Ray's mouth. 
         "Cool. Thanks Frase." Was all the detective said, but for Fraser
it was enough, for now. After awhile, Fraser made the comment that they
should head back and Ray agreed. Fraser dipped his handkerchief inside the
cool water and offered it to his partner, who accepted it wryly and wiped
at his face, then handed it back to the Mountie. "Thanks." Fraser nodded
and they returned to the Kowalski's trailer. 
         Ray didn't go inside, he leaned against the GTO and asked of
Fraser would ask Silvia to come out for a moment. Fraser nodded and
knocked on the trailer door. Mrs. Kowalski opened it and immediately
started toward her son, but Fraser shook his head in warning, knowing Ray
wouldn't be up to dealing with her at the moment. She nodded sadly and
allowed Silvia to step outside with Fraser and closed the door. 
         "Are you okay?" she asked the moment she approached her brother,
moving to put her arms around him, but he backed away and folded his arms
protectively across his chest. She dropped her arms back to her sides in
despair. 
         "We're gonna take off." He told her, not quite meeting her eyes.
"I'll come back and pick ya up after supper, around six maybe." 
         "I'll go with you..." she protested and he shook his head and
finally met her eyes, offering her a shy smile. 
         "Give em a chance ta visit wit ya, Sil." He suggested his head
tossed toward his parent's trailer. "I've had ya all week, it's de're
turn." 
         "But Ray, he..." she had started to just call him by his middle
name, after he explained his undercover assignment would be blown if she
continued to call him Stanley Ray as she had before. He shook his head,
seeming to know what she was going to say before she could finish, their
connection was obvious. 
         "He didn't mean it, Sil." He assured grimly. "He never does. It's
just...we don't get along to well. I shouldn'ta said dat ta him, it was
disrespectful." 
         "That is no reason for him to hit you, Ray." She declared upset. 
         "Just..just let it be, Sil." He sighed wearily. "It's de way it
is now. Maybe...maybe he'll be better now dat yer home again." Ray
shrugged and unfolded his arms to give her a brief hug. "I'll be back
around six. Give em a chance, okay?" She nodded and watched him climb in
behind the wheel as she exchanged a frustrated glance with Fraser. 
        "How can he defend..." she began 
         "It is the way Ray is." Fraser commented quietly. "When he loves
someone he loves them unconditionally and whole heartedly. If there are
problems in the relationship, Ray takes the blame for it, I don't pretend
to understand why." He had seen the detective do it with his parents, with
Stella, and even with himself..when Fraser had gotten him particularly
aggravated. She shook her head as Barbara opened the door to the trailer
and saw that her son was leaving. She hurried down the steps as Ray gunned
the engine, indicating it was time Fraser got into the vehicle or be left
behind. Silvia smiled sadly at him as he said goodbye and climbed into the
passenger seat as Barbara rounded the car to Ray's side. 
         "Stanley!" she cried reaching a hand through the window he had
rolled down, to touch his face endearingly. "Don't leave sweetheart,
please. Your Father is sorry he didn't mean it please stay and I'll make
your favorite for dinner and..." Her lower lip trembled as tears filled
her eyes. "Please son, don't go away angry like this." Ray grasped her
hand and kissed the back of her fingers affectionately, as he attempted to
smile at her. 
         "I'm not angry, Ma." He lied. "I'll be back ta pick Silvie up
later, me and Fraser have things to do." Barbara Kowalski glanced past her
son to the Canadian beside him. 
         "You'll take care of him, won't you, Benton?" she questioned
urgently. "You'll bring my boy back won't you?" Fraser nodded. 
         "Yes ma'am." Fraser assured her as Ray offered him a small smile,
then noticed his Father staring at them from the trailer door and he
returned his gaze to his mother. 
         "I'll be back." He promised as she leaned down to kiss him
goodbye. "We gotta go." She sniffed and stepped back, as Silvia approached
her and wrapped an arm around her Mother's shoulders; watching the two men
drive away. 
  

         Ray glanced up as a knock sounded at his apartment door, barely
heard over the music he had blasting, while he attempted to finish
cleaning his guns. He removed the swatch from the barrel of his main
weapon and placed it on the table next to the other open pieces of the
gun, and rose from the sofa.  He lowered the volume on his stereo as his
visitor knocked again, probably it was Fraser, since Frannie said she
wouldn't be by to cook dinner until seven and it was only now a little
before six. He opened the door with a grin, expecting to see his partner's
handsome face, and was shocked when Derek Kowalski stared back at him
instead. His smile faltered and he stepped back startled. 
         "D..dad?" he greeted surprised. He had not seen his Father since
the incident at the trailer almost a week ago. Silvia had returned to
Canada, but only to collect her things and her daughter and sell her
house, so she could move to Chicago to be closer to her family. She had
already applied and been accepted at one of the major colleges here and
Ray was looking forward to her return, especially since he now had a niece
that he would finally meet and probably spoil to death once he got hold of
her. 
         "Hello Son." Derek returned gruffly, obviously just as
uncomfortable with the situation as was his son. Ray stared at him a
moment longer then stepped back, his Father had never come to his
apartment. His Mother came by one a week to clean, despite Ray's protest
that she didn't have to, but Derek Kowalski had never been there. 
         "Um..come in." Ray managed finally and the older men cautiously
stepped inside, so Ray could close the door. The tension between them was
almost unbearable, especially when Derek noticed Ray's guns laid out on
the table and his eyes narrowed, knowing they represented his son's chosen
occupation. Ray followed his gaze and quickly went to tidy up the mess,
pulling the parts of the weapons  back together with an ease and
efficiency that seemed to surprise his father, who had moved to watch
them. Ray placed the guns back in his holsters, which were laid out on the
table, then put the lot over on the breakfast bar, away from them. For
lack of something else to do, he moved across the room and switched off
the music. "Is..um..is Mom okay?" Figuring that could be the only possible
reason his Father would come to see him. 
         "She's fine." Derek assured quietly, glancing around the
apartment curiously, anything to keep from having to look at his son, who
seemed just as nervous as he was. 
         "Um..ya wanna a drink?" Ray offered moving to the kitchen. "I got
beer, soda, water and tea." Derek raised an eyebrow. 
         "Tea?" Ray grinned sheepishly. 
         "I keep it here fer Fraser." He explained. "Oh, an' I got coffee
to, just instant though." He also had a bottle of wine but that was for
him and Francesca for later. 
         "Beer's fine." Derek replied and Ray retrieved two bottles,
opened them, and moved back into the living room to hand one to his
father. They both took a few swallows. 
         "So..." Ray began again, why was it so hard to talk to this one
man? He had grilled suspects that were much more frightening, so why
couldn't he just talk to his Father? "Did...did Ma send ya here fer
somethin' or..." 
         "Yer Mother doesn't know I'm here." Derek announced grimly and
ray stared at him surprised. 
         "Den why...um...." He didn't want to demand why his Father was
here, that was rude, though he did wonder. Secretly he was pleased the man
had come to see him, why he didn't have to know. He was here, his Father
was here standing in his apartment sharing a beer with him and that was
something special for Ray. Derek cleared his throat once, twice, then set
his beer on the table closest to him. 
         "Son, I..." his father sighed and glanced away again, unable to
look into eyes that always seemed so bright with emotion, holding a
frightened kind of love for the man that treated him so badly at times.
Derek was aware that he treated Ray...different then he should. That
perhaps his son rubbed him the wrong way, whether it was intentional or
deliberate didn't matter, Ray was his son and he could talk to him no
better than if he were a complete stranger. He didn't approve of Ray's
career choice, the fact that his son would willingly put himself at risk
like that was hard for him to understand. It scared him, but he also knew
his son was a damned fine cop, a brave man who's only desire was to see
justice done and clean up the streets for the good people and kids that
lived on them. 
         "D'ya wanna sit down, Dad?' Ray suggested, watching his father's 
inner struggle. "O..or take a look at the GTO? It's runnin' great I just
got 'er detailed and..." 
         "No." Derek refused shortly, catching Ray off guard and making
him forget what he had been saying. Derek glanced at the hurt and surprise
on his son's face and cursed silently. He hadn't meant to sound so harsh,
but the fact that the only thing they ever talked about, even had in
common was that damn car. 
          He'd brought it back for Ray, thinking they could work on it
together, maybe try to repair some of the damage to their relationship,
since he had turned his back on his son when Ray entered the academy. But
they still weren't talking, all the old hurts kept surfacing and they'd
push them back and pretend nothing was wrong, choosing to interact only
when it came to the GTO. That godforsaken car that they had built
together, which now seemed to come between them, was the only connection
they seemed to have. 
         "W..what did ya want den, dad?" Ray asked, his curiosity getting
the better of him, though his fear and anxiety showed in his voice. 
         "Can't I just come by for a visit?" declared Derek angrily. " Yer
mother's here all the damned time. I am your father still, aren't I? Or
have ya decided ta give up on me all together?" Ray gave him a startled
look. 
         "I..I...no, Dad, no." he managed taken aback by his father's
words. Ray stared down at the bottle in his hands, he didn't know what to
say, what to do that wouldn't get his father angry at him again, so he
remained silent. They stood there for a long time, neither speaking, until
finally Derek cleared his throat again. Better to get this over with, he'd
already gone round and round with both Silvia and Barbara about hitting
Ray the other day, even the damned Mountie had had something to say about
it. Better to say his peace and get it over with so he could leave and his
son could relax again. 
         "Ray I just wanted to..." Ray's buzzer sounded and he jumped
slightly. He put his beer on the counter and went to open the door, his
expression softening as Francesca smiled up at him, her tiny arms wrapped
around a large paper bag that no doubt held the ingredients for their
supper. 
         "Hiya bro." She teased, more so for anyone in the hallway that
might be listening. They had gotten closer since he and Fraser had talked,
though he still hadn't made up his mind about her or Stella. He pulled her
inside, took the bag from her and closed the door, then quickly embraced
her, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume. "Missed me did ya? Or are ya
just really hungry fer my pasta?" 
         "Both." He murmured, then remembered suddenly they weren't alone
and straightened. He introduced her to his father and Derek Kowalski
offered her a pleasant smile as they shook hands and ray brought the
groceries into the kitchen. 
         "It's nice ta actually meet you." Francesca offered returning his
smile. "I've seen ya around the station a couple a times but we never got
the chance ta meet, what with Ray's cover and all." Derek nodded in
understanding. 
         "Yer the fellow he's pretending to be sister, right?" he
questioned and Francesca nodded. 
         "Yah, so don't tell anybody I'm in love with yer son, it would
kinda blow his cover in the lake." Ray grinned and called from the
kitchen. 
         "Blow it outta da water Frannie." He corrected endearingly, he
had grown fond of her unusual misinterpretations, oddly enough. 
         "Lake, pond, its all water, Ray."  She dismissed as she smiled
again at Derek. "He thinks he's so smart but I know what I'm talkin'
about. He just can't stand fer me ta be right." 
         "Because yer never right, Frannie." Ray teased as he fished out
the cookware she would need for their supper. 
         "Shut up, Kowalski." Francesca growled and Derek found himself
grinning at their playful banter. "Or ya'll be wearin' supper instead of
eatin it." She again smiled at Derek. "Would you like ta stay fer supper,
Mr. Kowalski? I'm makin' lasagna." Ray felt the saucepan slip from his
grip and clang loudly against the kitchen floor, as both turned to look at
him. He lowered his eyes sheepishly and retrieved the pan, placing it on
the burner, his back turned toward them. 
         "Thank you, Francesca." Derek refused politely, turning away from
his son's suddenly rigid posture. "But I imagine my wife will have super
waitin' when I get back home. Francesca looked from one man to the other
confused. "I'd better go and leave you to kids two to then." He moved to
leave and Ray followed quietly. 
         "Um..thanks fer comin' by, Dad." He offered as he opened the door
for his father. Derek raised his gaze to his for a moment, then looked
away again. "W..what was it ya wanted ta say?" 
         "Later, son." He muttered solemnly as he stepped out into the
hall. Ray watched him go for a moment, knowing they would not talk later
and that he had probably blown his one chance at hearing what his father
had to say to him, as he watched the older man's shoulder's slump as he
stepped into the elevator. 
         "Go after him, Ray." Francesca suggested gently, her hand on his
shoulder as he stood in the doorway. "Talk to him." Ray shook his head and
moved to close the door. No, there was too much unsaid between them, he
could not chase after his father, no mater how much he wanted to. Derek
Kowalski would view that as a sign of weakness and Ray refused to appear
weak in front of the man he respected and loved so much, even when that
love and respect was not returned. 
  

         "Fraser!" Ray greeted smiling as the Mountie approached his desk
at the 27th precinct, dressed for a change in his brown serge. "What's
happenin' buddy?" Fraser offered him a small smile, which for Fraser was
barely a quirk of his lips. 
         "I was relieved early today, Ray." He commented. "I thought you
might like to get something too eat." Ray threw down his pen, tossed his
unfinished report on top of the other files and grabbed his coat off the
back of his chair. 
         "I'm all over dat, Fraser." He chuckled, in amazingly good
spirits and Fraser couldn't help but be affected, a real smile spreading
across his lips. 
         "Wonderful, Ray." He remarked as they moved across the station.
"Where shall we go? My treat." Ray's eyes rose and he laughed. 
         "Now I know it's a great day." He exclaimed shrugging into his
jacket as he reached down to pet Diefenbaker. "Da Mounties's buyin' fer a
change...now dat I like." Fraser blushed slightly. Ray always made a big
deal of teasing him when he offered to pay, though they shared the chore
equally for the most part. It was just that most times Fraser hadn't had
the chance to get his currency exchanged and many places didn't accept
Canadian money, which was what he was paid in. 
         "Ray!' a voice called and both men turned toward Stella Kowalski,
who was stalking toward them in a flattering blue skirt suit and high
heels. 
         "Yah, Stella?" he asked, glancing only briefly at Francesca, who
was attempting at preoccupied at her desk a few feet away. 
         "I need a decision, Ray." She informed, mostly ignoring the
courteous greeting Fraser offered her. 
         "About what?" 
         "I need to know if we're going to go ahead with our plans." She
replied. "What we discussed." 
         "What plans Stella?" Ray asked confused. Stella sighed in
aggravation and pulled him to the side, away from Fraser and lowered her
tone, not realizing that the Mountie could still hear what she was saying.

         "Us." she insisted quietly, running her hand intimately along his
biceps, unaware that Francesca was literally being held in her seat but
the firm, warning hand Fraser had placed on the Italian woman's shoulder. 
         "Us?" Ray repeated 
         "Yes." She pressed, uncertain if he was really unsure what she
was referring to or if he was deliberately teasing her. "I need to know a
date, Ray. For the wedding." 
         "Stella!" Ray exclaimed and a few heads turned. "Yer gettin'
married? Congrats sweetheart." Stella stared at him dumfounded. 
         "Not me!" she declared angrily. "We, you moron. You and me,
remember? We talked about it weeks ago." Ray stared at her long and hard
for a moment, then finally nodded. 
         "Oh yah." He agreed, making no attempt to lower his voice. "But I
didn't think ya were serious about dat, Stella. I thought ya were just
teasin' me, like before." 
         "No, Ray." She denied shaking her head, a look of hurt flashing
in her eyes and he knew he couldn't do it. He was going to try and make it
seem like he had thought it was all a joke, pay backs for the hell she had
put him through, but he couldn't hurt her deliberately, he still loved her
too much. He lowered his voice and pulled her into one of the interviewing
rooms, closing the door and stepping up to caress her cheek tenderly. 
         "I'm sorry, Stella." He allowed quietly. "I know what yer talkin'
about baby, but I..." he shook his head. "I can't Stella, I'm sorry. I
thought I could go back, y'know, make everything right wit ya, but it
wasn't just fixin' da things dat were wrong wit our marriage anymore.
I...you don't need me, Stell, ya never have and I...I need ta be needed.
It'd be good fer awhile and I can't say it ain't temptin' but it wouldn't
last and...I don't wanna go back ta dat, Stella. No more fights, no more
hurtin' each other." 
         "But Ray, I love you." Stella whispered, her lower lip trembling
in an effort to keep back her tears. He wrapped his arms around her and
held her tightly. 
         "I love ya to, honey," he admitted softly. "But it ain't meant ta
be." She sniffed and pulled back a little. 
         "You gave up on me." She decided sadly. "I pushed you away once
too often, didn't I. Oh, Ray, please, please give me another chance. I..I
know I never gave you any but I..I just know I could be better." She clung
to him then.  "I do need you, really I do. I..if you want me to quit my
job and stay home I will. I..I'll learn to cook and we can...we can have
babies, Ray, lots of them and..." 
         "Stella." Ray pleaded, this was breaking his heart to see her so
desperate, knowing just how wretched it had made him feel when he was
longing for her, willing to do anything for her. He pulled back so he
could look at her, lacing his hands on either side of her face, forcing
her to return his intense gaze. "Stella I love you, I do. You know that,
and because I love ya I can't let ya change everything about yerself ta
suit me." 
         "You...you did." She sniffed and he shrugged. 
         "Dat's me not you." He reminded with a small smile. "I'd have
changed anythin' fer ya and ya know it, but yer stronger den me, always
have been. Ya had yer life mapped out from the start and I was lucky..."
His eyes misted over. "I got ta be a part of dat life, even if it wasn't
fer as long as I woulda liked. Ya can't stop bein' you, just fer me, or
fer anybody." He smirked as he caught one of her tears with his fingertip.
"Yer the Stella. Yer greatness. Ya can't change dat, please don't change
dat, not fer me." 
         "There's someone else, isn't there?" she accused quietly and Ray
sighed. 
         "Dis is about me an' you, Stella, no one else." He offered. 
         "Do you love her?" Stella asked retrieving a tissue from her
purse and wiping at her eyes. 
         "Dat ain't fair, Stella." 
         "Do you?" she repeated, her voice rising hysterically. "Do you
love her more than me?" Ray was silent.   "Answer me damnit! I have the
right to know." 
         "No." Ray sighed in defeat. "I can't ever love anyone the way I
love you Stella." That much was true, his obsession for his ex-wife could
never be compared with the feelings he had for Francesca. He watched
Stella smile a little, her confidence over him returning slightly. 
         "Good." She tossed defiantly and Ray grinned as she retrieved her
compact and attempted to repair the damage her tears had done to her
makeup. "God I look like a drowned raccoon." 
         "Ya look beautiful as always, Stella." He assured pulling out
another tissue from the packet in her hand and helping to clear away the
dark streaks her mascara had left under her eyes and down her cheeks. She
smiled and let him work, remembering how many times he had rescued her
from facing the public with ruined makeup-especially after one of their
rows. 
        He was always the first to concede, the first to show tenderness
to her afterwards. He found her concealor and applied it expertly,
smoothing it gently into her skin with the tips of his fingers, until the
dark smudges no longer showed, then took the compact from her and finished
up the job.    She glanced at her reflection in the tiny mirror, as Ray
commented. 
        "See, beautiful as always."  Stella smiled, no one would be able
to tell she had been crying, Ray had rescued her from embarrassment once
again. 
         "Maybe I should hire you professionally." She teased returning
her belongings to her purse. He shrugged and grinned that disarming smile
that had first attracted her to him, no one could match that wonderful
rebellious, flirtatious grin, not even James Dean himself. 
         "Better now?" he asked gently and she nodded, her composure
returning. 
         "We...we can still be friends, right?" she inquired hopefully.
The idea that she had finally succeeded in chasing him away and that he
may no longer wish to see her with a new woman in his life frightened her.
She had to retain a connection to him, he was too special to let go, even
if it would hurt to see him with someone else. She had hurt him though,
perhaps now it was her turn to feel rejected and jealous, perhaps she
deserved it. She smiled a little, besides, who say's this new woman will
even work out, Stella might still have a change to win him back and if she
did, she knew it would be worth the wait. 
         "Sure, Stella." He finally returned. "Always." She leaned close
and kissed him, automatically she started to deepen it, but Ray pulled
back and she smiled in acceptance. He belonged to another, for now, but
time would tell. She smiled secretly again. Yes, time would tell. 
         "I'll see you later then." She offered as they left the room. Ray
nodded and watched her turn on her heel and walk away, then he made his
way back to Francesca's desk, where Fraser was still waiting for him, both
looking expectantly at him. He grinned and grabbed a tablet and pen from
the desk as he spoke too Fraser. 
        "So, where're we goin' Frase?" he inquired calmly as he scrawled a
note on the pad. 
         "Wherever you decide, Ray." Fraser offered, somewhat confused by
the man's behavior but too polite to say so. Couldn't he see that
Francesca was hurting, wondering what had gone on between the detective
and his ex-wife? Ray finished his note and ripped the paper off of the
pad, dropping it and the pen back on the desk, as he folded it a few times
and started to walk away, not even glancing at Francesca, who was watching
him concerned. 
         "Great." He replied calmly as they headed down the stairs, with
Diefenbaker close behind them, and Fraser caressed his right brow
concerned. 
         "Ray, ah...don't you think..." he had started to say, but then
his friend had stopped at the bottom of the stairs and knelt next to
Diefenbaker, placing the folded not in the animal's collar and saying
something that Fraser couldn't quite make out. The wolf barked and bolted
back up the stairs as Ray leaned against the railing and pulled out his
keys and propped a toothpick in his mouth. 
         "YES!" came a loud, familiar shriek from above them, as the wolf
returned and Ray nodded to himself with a slow smile, as he and a still
confused Fraser headed outside. 

         Francesca Vecchio blushed and settled back in her seat, as
everyone stared at her shocked. She lowered her eyes and clutched the tiny
note to her chest, then unfolded it and read over Kowalski's bold script
again 
                             'It's done. I'm yours if you will have me. I
love you.' 
        She smiled secretly and carefully refolded the paper and placed it
in her purse, pushing back a lock of her hair with a shaky hand. He loved
her. He had said no to Stella. He wanted to be with her. Ray Kowalski was
all hers. 
         Welsh glanced over at the pretty civilian aid, the dazzling smile
that he was sure would be there for a good while to come, mad his own sly
grin fade in comparison. He turned back, deciding not to reprimanding her
for screaming in the squad room and almost giving everyone a heart attack
in the process, especially him. He moved over and moved the blinds with
his fingers to gaze down at the blond detective, Mountie and wolf that
stood next to the black GTO, talking animatedly and nodded. 
         "Good choice, Kowalski." He muttered knowingly and returned to
his desk, no one ever got anything past Welsh, in his precinct. 
  

The end.. 
  
  

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To be continued...