A Few Good Things Remain   [A short round figure steps hesitantly from
the shadows, her blonde top-knot shorter than last time... and more
tousled. She holds out a worn sheaf of paper with a triumphant smile...]
It only took... [she checks a date at the top of the paper] almost a year,
(blush) but here it is. The promised next part in my music inspired series
that began with "Blame It On The Mistletoe" and "Shadows". You don't have
to read them first... but it would help (they can be found on the
Archive). And, as promised in "Shadows"... this one is HOT! NC-17 folks...
for m/m relations in loving detail. If you got a problem with it...
there's a little button called "Delete" that you should use now. TYK.
 
 The Ray here is the original one. I like the new guy, don't get me wrong,
but there is just something about a certain Italian in grey Armani. ;-)
Other warnings... ANGST and unrepentant Romanticism (or shamltz depending
on your view ) What can I say, I'm a sucker for a happy ending. The
characters don't belong to me... I'm just borrowing them for an extended
period of time (hey, they aren't complaining ). I'm not making any money
from this... it's all for fun. The characters and the songs (more country
western AGHHH! Why COUNTRY?!? This time by Kathy Mattea) are used without
permission and no harm was intended in their use here. Note: offset text
with * in front of it are song lyrics. Text enclosed in // indicate
character thoughts.
 
 As always, comments are ALWAYS welcome, send them with "Kender" in the
subject line so they get to me. Thank you kindly for all the kind words
and encouragement. Now, enough of me... on to the REAL reason you're
reading through all this.... [the figure steps back into the lurking
shadows. The shadows shift to reveal a dark Chicago night outside a
rundown apartment building. On the fire escape on the third floor sits a
lone figure staring out into the night. A figure who, before the night is
over will discover that no matter how bleak the path looks...] 
 
 A Few Good Things Remain
 by Kender
 
 The night was warm but Detective Ray Vecchio sat on the fire escape
sipping his mug of hot tea just the same. If anyone had told him six
months ago that he would actually enjoy the bitter tea that Fraser
insisted on drinking, he'd have told them they were crazy. But then again,
six months ago he'd never thought of Fraser as anything more than his best
friend. He looked back through the open window at his sleeping lover and
couldn't stop the smile that tugged at his lips. How could so much change
in such a short time? Had it only been six months since he and Fraser had
gone from friends to lovers? It seemed like they had been together forever
and Ray had never been happier. //Then why are you sitting out on the fire
escape in the middle of the night swigging lukewarm tea *alone* if you're
so happy?// the voice in his head chided. 
 
 A self-depreciating smile chased across Ray's features, 'Why' indeed.
Maybe it was just the unatural quiet of Fraser's apartment. It's not that
there wasn't noise. Even now the sounds of the city engulfed him. Cars,
arguments, the familiar wail of sirens in the distance. There was noise.
But Ray was use to the "noise" of his family. His brother-in-law Tony's
deep snore, the sounds of his nieces and nephews as they begged for one
more story or a glass of water before going to bed, Frannie listening to
the radio as she fell asleep. Those were the sounds of home. The apartment
always sounded so still to Ray's ears. Not that he would change a thing.
He'd sleep in a sound proof room for the rest of his life if Fraser was by
his side. But sometimes the silence got to be too much, and lately... Well
lately, the fire escape had seen a lot of him, usually well into the
night. He wondered why he was finding it so difficult to sleep, but no
answers came. So, once again he sat, watching the night slowly pass
through the run down neighborhood.
 
 Strains of guitar floated up from the apartment below. It seemed he
wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. It was oddly soothing to know he
wasn't alone in his insomnia, and he wondered what would keep their
downstairs neighbor awake so late. The music was soft but he could make
out bits of lyrics if he listened closely. Female voices drifted up, one
was a singer Ray had heard before but couldn't name, the other, he
assumed, was their neighbor. She had a nice voice, at least what he could
hear of it. She wasn't loud, but for some reason, the night breezes
carried her voice up to the landing and Ray found himself sharing in her
nocturnal duet. The music had a bittersweet but hopeful quality about it.
//Has to be Country,// Ray thought, //I wonder if Benny would know the
artist's name. Probably. He seems to know everything else.//
 
 *Eighteen wheels and a dozen roses....
 
 He remembered the first time he and Fraser had bought roses together. The
day after New Years they had gone to every flowershop they could think of
looking for what Fraser called "just the right roses." They found them in
a small shop that Francesca recomended, one rose a distinctive shade of
"Mountie red", the other a delicate white rose tipped with the faintest
touch of crimson. He still wished he could have seen Elaine's face when
she had come in the following morning and found the two roses lying on her
keyboard accompanied by a plain white card that said simply, 'Thank you
kindly'. She had tracked him down at the end of his shift and hugged him
until he couldn't breathe. His protestations of innocence fell on deaf
ears as she told him how happy she was, for both of them.
 
 Ray looked back at his sleeping partner and smiled. "She said she knew
they were from us even before she saw the note Benny. Did I ever tell you
that?" he whispered. "She said the flowers gave it away. AND she told me
why you picked *that* particular rose you Canadian sneak. A 'Fire and Ice'
rose... she said it suited me." He laughed softly, "You *said* she'd
understand." She had also told him later, that seeing Fraser's words in
*his* "nearly illegible scrawl that *some* tried to call handwriting" had
been the most heartwarming thing she had received in years. He hadn't told
Benny *that* either, but he had a feeling the observant Canadian knew.
 
 The three had become good friends after that Christmas holiday. Ray made
a mental note to invite the vivacious woman to diner again soon. She done
so much for them, and Ray *knew* he could never repay her. Elaine had
brought them together. She'd helped him see what he'd been missing for so
long. She had become one of their closest friends and supporters, being
there for them as best she could. He knew it hadn't been easy, but she'd
never turned them away. She'd kicked them both in the butt a few times,
but she'd never turned her back on them. Ray wondered how he'd managed to
get so lucky. //And when is it going to blow up in your face?// a quiet
voice in the back of his mind teased. //You know it's too good to last.//
Ray took another sip of the strong brew in his hands and forced the voice
back into the shadows of his mind. 
 
 The last six months hadn't been easy. He and Fraser were still adjusting
to each other's habits, each other's schedules, each other's quirks. Even
though they hadn't "officially" moved in together, Ray spent most of his
nights at the apartment now and a good portion of his things decorated the
once spartan apartment. It had been a big step for Ray. "Did you ever
realized how scared I was Benny? I thought I'd have to choose between you
and Ma, between you and my blood family. I've never been so scared. You
were so sure it would be alright. You *told* me we'd get through it. I
couldn't have faced Ma on my own, and I think you knew it. You sat there,
so quiet, so strong. You're the only thing that kept me sane Benny. Trying
to tell Ma... having to look into that beautiful face and know I was
disappointing her. I was use to that with Pop, but not Ma. I would have
broken right there without you beside me." He remembered his horror at the
look in his mother's eyes. The heat of unshed tears that had blurred his
vision as he tried to rise and run for the door. Anything to escape the
hurt in those eyes. Then Fraser took hold of his hand. Without uttering
one word, his Canadian had made it very plain that he wouldn't allow
anyone to hurt Ray. Ray had never seen those blue eyes so intense. And he
had never felt so safe... or so loved.
 
 It hadn't been easy, but the tension gradually faded, much to Ray's
relief. It probably hadn't hurt that the *man* he had fallen in love with
was Fraser, a man Rosa Vecchio already considered family. After that first
night Ray wasn't sure he'd ever be able to go 'home' again. Francesca and
Maria had come to see them later that week, but they heard nothing from
Rosa. Ray had thought himself disowned until Frannie brought over the
first basket of homecooked food "from Ma". Only then did Ray truly *know*.
 
 That day Fraser had seen Francesca to her car and returned to find his
lover staring at the basket of food, crying. Thinking that Francesca's
visit had reminded Ray of the tension back "home", he'd drawn Ray's
slender form tightly to him, waiting for the anguish he was sure would
follow. But it never came. Ray had curled into Fraser's arms with a sigh
and smiled through the dampness coursing down his cheeks. "She's accepted
it Benny. She's accepted *us*." Never had that beautiful smile been so
bright. Now Ma sent 'care packages' home with them every chance she got
until Fraser's small freezer was full to overflowing. They had been
accepted as part of the Vecchio family. Frannie still complained from time
to time about the "waste of it all" but Ray was *fairly* sure she didn't
mean it. 
 
 *A few more songs from the all night radio
 *And he'll spend the rest of his life with the one that he loves.
 
 The thought of spending the rest of his life with the handsome Canadian
both thrilled and frightened him. He knew he wasn't the easiest man in the
world to live with, but then, neither was Fraser. 
 
 "Why Ramondo? Why are you doing this?"
 
 "Go away Pop."
 
 "No! Why are living with this Canadian fruitloop? He's almost gotten you
killed more times than I care to count. He's a walking target, Boy. Get
out while you can."
 
 "Maybe I don't *WANT* out Pop! Maybe I'm *finally* happy! Is it wrong for
me to be *HAPPY* Pop?"
 
 The ghost of Carmine Vecchio regarded his son with a look of absolute
disgust in his grey eyes, "He'll never make you happy Boy. Face it. You'll
spend the rest of your life waiting for him to leave."
 
 "Benny's not you Pop." The harsh laugh brought back unpleasant memories
but Ray refused to flinch, his grip tightening on the mug. He refused to
meet his father's gaze, refused to give his father the reaction he was
trying for.
 
 "No. But how long do you think he'll be put off?" Ray's head snapped up
and Carmine smiled, "How long will he want to stay with someone who won't
give him what he wants? You and I both know you'll *never* be able to give
him that last 'step' Ramondo. Why not just accept it? You were never meant
for this kind of life. Let it go and find some nice *girl* to settle down
and raise a family with. Surely there's *Somebody* who'd have you."
 
 This time Ray did flinch at the tone in his father's voice, "Yeah.
There's somebody who'll have me Pop... and he's laying in there in that
bed. He accepts me. He brings out the best in me. He's my best friend, my
partner, and the best thing that ever happened to me. I *will NOT* 'let it
go' Pop. I don't give a tinker's DAMN what you think of me or my life! You
didn't give a damn about me when you were alive so I'll be *Damned* if
I'll worry what you think now. Go away Pop. Go away and let me live my
life in peace."
 
 "Don't say you weren't warned Boy. Sooner or later he'll get tired of
your excuses or your temper or one of a half dozen other things and he'll
leave. Just accept it Ramondo. Accept it and get out before he can hurt
you."
 
 "Go away Pop, just go away." Ray couldn't stop the shiver that coursed
through him as his father's ghost disappeared. Old fears, pushed away too
long, crowded forward and Ray vainly tried to swallow past the sudden
tightness in his throat. 
 
 'he'll get tired... and he'll leave... he'll leave... he'll leave...'
 
 Ray bowed his head and finally let the tears fall. 
 
 *****************
 
 *I heard a siren late last night
 *you must have felt me shiver
 *shaken by a wave of fright 
 *that you calm with a whisper...
 
 "Ray?"
 
 Ray wiped angrily at his eyes, "Out here Benny." He cleared his throat
and tried to regain his composure as his friend and lover stepped out on
to the fire escape. Unable to face Fraser, he kept his eyes firmly focused
on the mug of now cold tea he held tightly in his clenched hands. He felt
a familiar warmth settle in behind him on the metal stairs as long bare
legs were draped carelessly on either side of him. He could feel Fraser's
warmth against his back as strong hands began to slowly rub his stooped
shoulders.
 
 "Ray, is everything alright?"
 
 "Yeah. Everything's fine."
 
 Fraser didn't miss the nearly silent, depreciating laugh, nor could he
ignore the tension in the shoulders under his hands. Something was most
definitely not *fine*. He leaned in closer and pulled Ray into a gentle
embrace. He kissed Ray's ear and nuzzled the short shorn hair, delighting
in the texture of it against his cheek. 
 
 *When living leaves my pride bruised up
 *I'm fragile as a feather
 *When storms of life just won't let up
 *you're like a change of weather
 *when dust settles on my dreams
 *you wash them clean
 *like a warm spring rain
 
 The words hit Ray at his most vulnerable. The soft guitar combined with
the tenderness of Fraser's touch was too much, and Ray felt the tears burn
their way down his cheeks yet again. He struggled to stop the tremors
before they started, but it was too late, Fraser had felt the change.
Large, masculine hands pulled him back against the warmth of a solid chest
and Fraser's strong arms encircled him protectively.
 
 "Ray, sweetheart, please talk to me."
 
 Fraser's only answer was a half muffled sob. Without a further word,
Fraser steered his lover off the fire escape and back into the apartment.
He pried the coffee mug from Ray's nerveless fingers, set it on the
kitchen counter, then drew the other man with him into the bedroom. He sat
on the bed and pulled an unresisting Ray into his arms. He wasn't sure how
much time passed before Ray finally spoke, but to Fraser it felt like
years. He wasn't use to this kind of silence from his usually boisterous
Italian.
 
 "I'm sorry Benny."
 
 He kissed a damp cheek and smiled into the bloodshot hazel-green eyes,
"For what Ray?"
 
 "Everything."
 
 Fraser stared at Ray in confusion, which only grew with his lover's next
words.
 
 "Benny, why do you stay?"
 
 "I don't understand Ray."
 
 "Why do you stay... here?"
 
 "Because my 'family' is here Ray. You... your family... some of the
people at the precinct..."
 
 Ray moved from the bed and stood gazing sightlessly out the window, "No.
I mean, why do you stay... with me? You could have anyone Benny, *anyone*
you wanted." Feelings too long suppressed burst forth is a rush, "You
deserve someone who can make you happy. Someone who can give you
everything you want, need,... desire."
 
 Finally Fraser understood. He padded silently to the window and laid a
hand on the slender, stooped shoulder, "I *have* someone who makes me
happy Ray. I have *You*."
 
 Ray wouldn't be distracted. He turned to face Fraser and the Canadian
cringed at the anguish in his lover's beautiful eyes. "No Benny. You need
someone who can give you everything you deserve, not some cynical Chicago
cop with oversized ears and a nose that's too big for his face, who still
has trouble seeing the good in people..."
 
 "Especially himself," Fraser countered quietly.
 
 "Damn it Benny WHY!"
 
 Fraser reached out and cupped the tear stained face with his palm, his
thumb absently wiping at the damp cheek. He searched the pained face,
trying to decide how best to begin. Finally he leaned forward and lightly
kissed the tightly compressed lips, "Why do I stay Ray?" he began softly.
"I stay because I came to Chicago alone and lost and found a missing part
of my soul. I found a best friend who worried enough about my being alone
that he brought me to *his* home and made sure I felt welcome. I found a
friend who stood by me and backed me even when he didn't understand what I
was doing or why, a man who tried to protect me from the harsh realities
of life and made sure I wasn't taken advantage of. I found a man who loved
me enough that when I did the unthinkable and nearly cost him everything,
he still stayed with me day and night in the hospital as I brooded and
tried to recover, never once saying 'I told you so.' I stay because I
found my heart. I found a cynical Chicago cop who tries to pretend he
doesn't care about others, but who will do everything he can to help
someone in need. I found you Ray." 
 
 Ray's hazel-green eyes searched his lover's face, "I don't understand."
 
 Fraser smiled and kissed the trembling Italian, "I stay because you're my
best friend, my partner and my lover. I stay because *you* make me happy
and I don't want anyone else. I love that 'cynical Chicago cop' Ray. I
love you." Fraser drew Ray's unresisting form into his arms and kissed the
bridge of Ray's nose, "And I happen to like your nose Ray. It's very
patrician. It makes you look very noble." He kissed the tip of the part in
question, gaining a timid smile from the Italian. They stood in silence,
holding each other, drawing comfort from the bond of love that radiated
between them. Ray leaned his head wearily against Fraser's broad shoulder
and delighted in the feel of Fraser's strong hands caressing his back
soothingly. The neighbor's music floated through the open window... 
 
 *like a warm spring rain
 *on the roof above
 *the way you call my name
 *when we make love
 *while the world outside my window goes insane
 *you're here to remind me a few good things remain
 
 Ray pressed his face into Fraser's shoulder, trying to stifle a yawn as
his body finally relaxed. He felt Fraser's arms tighten around him.
 
 "Come to bed Ray."
 
 Fraser's voice was soft, gentle and Ray nodded, allowing Fraser to lead
him back to the bed. Fraser untied the sash on Ray's silk robe, revealing
the olive skin underneath. He ran his palms up the lightly muscled chest
his fingers catching the robe and easing the fabric from his lover's body.
Ray shivered as the slick fabric slid off his shoulders and down his long
arms, exposing him to Fraser's gaze. Fraser smiled reassuringly at the
Italian, kissing the sensuous lips as he took the robe. He eased his tired
lover down onto the bed before turning to hang the delicate garment back
in its place on the closet door. 
 
 Fraser wondered at the tension in his friend. He knew Ray had been
restless the last few weeks, but he hadn't realized the anguish his
passionate Italian was going through. Even after six months he still had
trouble reading Ray's moods. He was so use to Ray's volatile nature and
his openness about how he felt, that he forgot how deeply Ray could hide
his pain. It hurt to see Ray so upset, so unsure of himself. Francesca and
Maria had told him about Ray's childhood, how Ray had always felt he had
to prove himself to their father... and sometimes still did. Fraser
finally understood how deep the hurt went in that guarded heart. He ran
his hands over the silk, still warm from his lover's skin, and tried to
find the words to reassure the fragile man who waited silently in their
bed, the man who held his heart, that there was nothing he had to prove.
 
 Ray watched Fraser nervously, his father's words ringing through the
silence like a death knell... //"Sooner or later he'll get tired of your
excuses or your temper or one of a half dozen other things and he'll
leave."// Fraser was so quiet, standing there thinking. He could always
tell when Fraser was deep in thought, the set of the broad shoulders, the
deep even breaths and the hundred other little things that all gave it
away. After three years he'd learned to read the Canadian, and the six
months they'd been together had only made it easier. //"How long do you
think he'll be put off?"// He could feel the cold seeping into him again
and wrapped his thin arms around himself tightly, trying to force the
taunts out of his mind. Even dead his father could reduce him to an
uncertain jumble of conflicting emotions without ever laying a hand on
him. The realization only added to his self disgust. What must Fraser
think of him?
 
 His subconscious mind was only too eager to provide an answer. Tears of
dread and anguish squeezed passed his eyelids, but he managed to quell the
sob that tried to escape his tightening throat. He wouldn't do that to
Fraser, he didn't want Fraser's pity. He turned away from the closet and
the vision before it, trying to steel himself for what was to come... what
*always* came from such a prolonged silence. What had Ange called it
once... the 'calm before the storm'? He didn't know if his heart could
stand this particular storm. //*"How long will he want to stay with
someone who won't give him what he wants? You and I both know you'll
*never* be able to give him that last 'step'.*// Something within him
snapped at his father's taunt and he suddenly knew what he had to do.
"You're wrong Pop," he whispered, his heart warming as his course of
action became clear, "I *can* give him that. I can give him anything." 
 
 Ray eased himself from the bed, his back still turned away from Fraser.
With trembling hands he pushed his briefs to the floor and stepped out of
them. Taking a deep breath he turned to face his lover. Fraser was still
facing the closet, his hand absently stroking the robe he had removed from
Ray only a short time before. Ray hesitantly moved across the warm room
his feet silent on the cool wood floor. He stood behind his lover, his
body shaking, uncertain what to do next. "Benny?" His voice was timid even
to his own ears and Fraser didn't respond. Ray swallowed his pride and
tried again, "Benny?"
 
 Fraser startled, the beloved voice pulling him from his revery. He turned
toward the voice smiling, "Yes Ray?" He was startled to find his lover
standing behind him, naked and trembling. His blue eyes narrowed in
concern, "Ray?"
 
 Ray flinched at the suspicion in those blue eyes. He pulled in a
steadying breath but couldn't bring himself to look at those eyes again.
He focused his eyes on the broad chest and began to speak, "Fraser?"
 
 "Yes Ray?"
 
 "I want you to... to make love to me. Tonight," his hazel-green eyes
finally lifted, "NOW."
 
 Fraser didn't miss the desperation in Ray's voice, or the barely
controlled panic in the too luminous eyes. He reached out and caressed the
thin face, noting the dampness on the warm cheeks. "Why Ray?"
 
 Ray flinched as if struck and pulled back slightly, "Because yo...
because *I* want to."
 
 Fraser searched the stricken face, recalling something Francesca had once
said about her brother, 'He's spent so long trying to be what he thinks
everyone else wants him to be... It's just kind nice to see him doing
something for *himself* now.' She'd been talking about Ray's relationship
with him, letting Fraser know that she approved. He hadn't really
understood what she had meant at the time, but now it was painfully clear.
Ray was willing to do the one thing he feared most... simply because he
thought it was what Fraser wanted. He chose his next words carefully,
"Ray. You don't have to do this."
 
 "Yes I do. I... I *want* to do this Benny... for you. I *have* to!"
 
 The fervor behind the words stunned Fraser, "No Ray. You don't." Fraser
pulled the trembling form to him, softening the words with a touch. Ray
was ridged against him, the slender body shaking as fear and confusion
raged through him. "Ray," he whispered into the shell shaped ear, "relax.
It's alright."
 
 "No. It's not." Fraser could hear the panicked tears in his lover's voice
and waited to see what would come next, knowing his lover needed to get
out whatever was causing this pain. "I'm sorry Benny. I'm sorry."
 
 Fraser hugged Ray close, kissing Ray's temple lightly, "You've said that
once tonight already Ray. What are you sorry for Love?" Ray's arms wrapped
around him tightly and his lips pressed frantic kisses to Fraser's neck.
Fraser felt his body responding to his lover's touch, his manhood
swelling, begging for Ray's familiar caress. He forced the responses from
his mind, willing control, knowing that this was more important. *Ray* was
more important. "Talk to me Ray," he urged, easing Ray back so he could
look in those beautiful eyes, "tell me what's wrong."
 
 The hazel-green eyes locked on Fraser's blue ones, "I don't want you to
leave Benny."
 
 The blue eyes clouded in confusion, "I'm not leaving Ray."
 
 "But you *will* be."
 
 As the shaking hands reached for him once again, Fraser thought he
finally understood. He pulled Ray close, trapping the questing hands
between their bodies and simply holding his lover. Ray was tense against
him, the slender body alternately pushing away and leaning into Fraser's
solid warmth. Fraser was silent as Ray struggled with his inner demons,
offering his support in the gentle pressure of his embrace. Finally Ray
stilled against him with a resigned sob, his face buried once again
against Fraser chest. Only then did Fraser relax his grip, "Ray," he
whispered, "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
 
 "People break promises all the time Benny."
 
 "Have I ever broken a promise to you Ray?"
 
 "No." 
 
 "Then why would I start now?"
 
 "I...." Ray shook his head, his lightly stubbled cheek rasping against
Fraser's bare chest. 
 
 "Ray, Love, talk to me. What's going on?" Ray tried to pull away but
Fraser held him fast, "No Ray. You're not going anywhere until you talk to
me. Why do you think I'll leave?"
 
 "Because you will." His father's words came to him again, "You'll get
tired of me refus... of my temper or any number of my bad habits. You'll
realize that I'm not what you thought and you'll leave."
 
 Fraser didn't miss Ray's stumble and suddenly his lover's behavior became
very clear. He kissed Ray's short dark hair, "I'm not going to leave you
Ray. Nothing you do... or *don't* do, will change how I feel about you...
or how long I'm willing to wait until you're ready." Fraser felt Ray
startle and smiled, "I love you Ray, do you understand? If you're never
ready, I'll be satisfied with what we have now because we're together.
*That's* what's important to me Love... *you're* what's important to me."
 
 "I... I want to do this for you, Benny."
 
 "And you will... someday. But only when you're *ready*, not because
you're afraid I'll leave." Fraser lifted Ray's chin, forcing the withdrawn
detective to meet his eyes. "I love you Ray," he said quietly, kissing the
tightly compressed lips, "Always."
 
 Ray's arms tightened around Fraser's waist, "I love you Benny. I just..."
 
 "Just what Ray?"
 
 "I want to give you what you want. I know you've wanted to... well..."
Ray's voice trailed off awkwardly and he felt the heat rising in his face.
He took a steadying breath and said with touch what he couldn't say with
words. He ran his hands down Fraser's back, his long fingers catching the
band of Fraser's boxer shorts and burrowing under the soft fabric. He
cupped the warmth of Fraser's buttocks, pulling the Canadian's hips into
contact with his own. He smiled at the deep groan the contact elicited
from his lover and rubbed his own growing erection against Fraser's fabric
encased one. Fraser's lips descended on his, claiming him with a
passionate kiss that left them both breathless.
 
 "Ray..."
 
 "I want to make love with you Benny."
 
 "Understood Ray."
 
 Ray smiled at the familiar response and kissed the Mountie's full lips.
"You're one in a million Benny, you know that?"
 
 "Thank you kindly Ray. And so are you." Fraser surprised his lover,
lifting the slight man into his arms and carrying him to the bed. He
placed his precious burden carefully on the cool sheets then lowered
himself over his olive skinned lover. His mouth teased and caressed the
warm flesh, nipping the thin skin over the prominent collar bone, the
sensitive spots along the long, graceful neck, all the places he had spent
the last six months learning. He loved the feel of Ray's whipcord body
under his, the way Ray pressed against him, murmuring his name. He trailed
kisses down Ray's neck to his chest, pausing at one nut brown nipple,
taking it in to his mouth and sucking. The body under his arched and he
increased his attention to the pebbled flesh, bathing it with his tongue
until Ray whimpered. Long hands twined in Fraser's hair pulling him away
from his task and up to meet his lover's lips.
 
 Ray kissed Fraser with passionate abandon, losing himself in his lover's
embrace. His hips pressed upward, contacting with Fraser's hips. "Benny."
 
 "Yes Ray?" Fraser sighed between kisses.
 
 "You're still dressed Benny."
 
 Fraser rolled off of his lover's body to stand beside the bed, "So take
care of it Ray." The blue eyes flashed with loving amusement as
hazel-green eyes studied him in momentary confusion. "Well?"
 
 With a growl, Ray moved. He pulled the fabric down Fraser's long legs
with one swift tug then hauled the Canadian back into the bed. "I want you
Benny," he rasped, "I want *this*." He plundered the offered mouth, his
tongue exploring the moist heat until Fraser moaned. His hands roamed the
strong expanse of Fraser's solid form, arousing the Canadian with sure,
knowing caresses. He pulled their bodies together, delighting in his
lover's obvious arousal. Fraser pressed against him, bringing their
erections together in delicious friction. Ray's hips twitched upward,
increasing the contact and making both men moan. He wanted more. He wanted
to feel that body pressed against him, buried inside him. The thought
shook him, the intensity of the need surprised him, but he couldn't think
of anything he wanted more than to be possessed by this gentle man. This
gentle man who loved him. He stilled Fraser with a touch and tried to
collect his thoughts. Fraser started to protest, but the look on Ray's
face stopped him. He held Ray lightly, waiting.
 
 "Benny," he began quietly, "I want you. I want you to make love to me."
 
 "Ray, you don't have to do this."
 
 Ray kissed Fraser softly, "You said when I was ready. Well, I'm ready."
He placed a silencing finger against Fraser's lips and smiled shyly, "I
know I don't have to... but I want to. I want you."
 
 "Are you sure Ray?"
 
 "What part of 'yes' don't you understand Benny?" he countered with a
grin.
 
 Fraser smiled back. It had been too long since he had seen that grin on
those beautiful lips. Hazel-green eyes watched him, uncertain in the
growing silence. Fraser drew Ray close, kissing away any lingering doubt
before easing Ray down to the mattress. Once again he kissed his way down
the slender form, caressing, teasing, loving, leaving Ray gasping beneath
him. He paused at Ray's narrow waist, nipping lightly at the golden flesh
before levering off his lover's body. 
 
 Ray's whimper of protest died as he realized what Fraser was doing. He
watched nervously as Fraser retrieved the bottle of lubricant from the
drawer of the bedside table. He shivered as the enormity of what they were
about to do hit him. His mind flashed images of the brutality he had seen
associated with this very act, the horror surrounding it that he had seen
in his work. Then Fraser turned... the love that shone in those clear blue
eyes drove all doubt from Ray's mind. This was what he wanted and Fraser
was the one he wanted it with.
 
 Fraser caressed Ray's cheek, "It's alright if you want to back out Ray.
You know there are other ways to... be together."
 
 Ray flushed, his body responding to the memories of their times
"together". But he knew what he 
 wanted, "Make love to me Benny."
 
 "Gladly Ray." Fraser lowered himself to the bed once more, kissing the
hip he had so recently abandoned.
 
 "Fraser."
 
 "It's alright Ray. Relax." He ran his tongue over Ray's inner thigh,
making the detective squirm, "I know what I'm doing." Before Ray could
protest, Fraser engulfed his lover's engorged manhood delighting in the
strangled moan the move drew from his Italian. He toyed with the heated
flesh, his tongue teasing the crown, causing Ray to arch against him. He
captured the narrow hips, holding Ray still as his mouth continued it's
exploration. He ran his hand down Ray's hip, easing his hand under the
writhing body to cup the perfect globes of Ray's buttocks. He insinuated a
finger between the firm flesh, resting its tip against the tight ring of
muscle there. He felt Ray still. "Relax," he whispered, raising his head
from its task long enough to reassure his lover. "Trust me Ray."
 
 Trembling fingers twined in his dark hair, "I do Benny. I just..."
 
 Fraser kissed Ray's hip, "It's your choice Ray."
 
 "Don't stop."
 
 Fraser's mouth engulfed Ray again and the slender hips lifted, matching
the rhythm that Fraser's mouth established. Fraser's finger was removed
only to return slick with gel and press against the star shaped opening
once more, seeking entrance. Ray gasped and Fraser stilled his hand until
Ray relaxed. "Ray?"
 
 "Don't stop Benny. Please don't stop."
 
 Fraser smiled and began to thrust gently into his lover's body,
lubricating and stretching the tight opening, delighting in the soft
sounds of pleasure falling from his lover's lips. Fraser stroked and
caressed the responsive body, urging Ray closer to release. Another finger
joined the first, delving deep into the other man's body, finding the
bundle of nerves it sought.
 
 Ray's hips jolted upward, his long fingers tightening in Fraser's thick
hair, "God.... BENNY!" Fraser could feel Ray's body tighten around his
fingers and knew Ray was close to orgasm. He increased his attention to
Ray's throbbing organ only to have his movements stilled by Ray's slender
hands, "No Benny. I want...," Ray's voice was breathy, shaken and he
struggled to calm it before continuing. "I want you inside me. I want to
feel you."
 
 "Yes Ray." Fraser eased his fingers from Ray's body and urged his lover
onto his stomach. Ray moved willingly, raising himself to his knees and
offering himself to the man he loved. Fraser leaned forward and gently
kissed his Italian detective. Ray's tongue slid over Fraser's lips,
delving inside, claiming the Canadian's mouth with his own. Fraser could
feel his own body responding to Ray's need, his manhood aching to feel
Ray's body closing around him... he moaned. "Ray."
 
 Ray kissed him again, his hand reaching up to caress the turgid flesh
between the powerful legs. Fraser's hips pressed forward, pushing him
against Ray's palm, "I want you Fraser. Now!"
 
 Fraser leaned back, took the bottle of lubricant and coated his erection
liberally with the cool gel. Ray watched silently, his eyes never leaving
his lover's beautiful face. He startled as Fraser's hands caressed his
back and buttocks, he searched the handsome face and was both surprised
and reassured by the love and concern he saw in those bright blue eyes. He
relaxed into the touch, welcoming the familiar warmth of Fraser's caress. 
 
 Fraser moved to kneel behind him, stroking the length of Ray's long back
reassuringly. He eased Ray's long legs apart and settled himself between
them, his hips brushing Ray's perfect backside. He parted the olive flesh
with trembling hands, running his finger down the delicate crease and
causing his lover to tremble. He pressed gently against Ray's opening with
his finger, easing more lubricant into the tight flesh. Ray whimpered and
pressed backward into the touch. Fraser smiled and removed his finger,
replacing it with something larger. He positioned himself against Ray,
stilling the Italian's hips with his hands as he struggled for control.
"Relax for me Ray," he urged. "Relax." The body under his hands stilled
and Ray drew a deep breath. "Good," he whispered and began to press
forward.
 
 Ray whimpered as Fraser eased into his body. He fought to stay still, to
relax as his lover urged him to. It was unlike anything he had ever
experienced. There was some pain, but it was more of an uncomfortable
fullness and Ray knew it wouldn't last. Slowly, Fraser pressed inward,
claiming Ray inch by precious inch. The pain gave way to a feeling of
delicious possession and Ray sighed out Fraser's name. Fraser's body bent
over his, covering him protectively. Strong arms encircled him and
Fraser's passion roughened voice sounded softly in his ears, "I love you
Ray. I love you." 
 
 Ray pressed his hips back, welcoming Fraser even deeper into him, "I love
you too, Benny. Always."
 
 Fraser moaned and his tenuous control finally slipped. He began to thrust
into his lover's tight sheath, but even in his passion he was gentle,
giving Ray time to adjust to the newness of their joining, not wanting to
hurt Ray. Ray's breathing grew ragged, his movements jerky and Fraser knew
it wouldn't be long. He reached around the slender waist and grasped Ray's
erection, stroking it in a counterpoint to his own thrusts. Ray's head
lolled forward, his body responding to Fraser's touch with abandon. He
cried out Fraser's name as his body tightened, the first tendrils of
release sparking across his nerve endings. Fraser increased the pressure
and speed of his strokes, milking Ray's straining erection, drawing the
welcome release from his lover's shaking form. Ray's head snapped back,
Fraser's name a broken prayer on his parted lips as he spilled his seed in
hot spurts into Fraser's hand. His body tightened around Fraser like a
silken vice and the Canadian quickly joined him in release.
 
 Slowly Fraser's breathing calmed and he became aware of his surroundings
once more. He lay against Ray's back, his arms still wrapped tightly
around the slender form. He started to move off the quiet form but Ray's
hands caught his arms, holding him still, "Not yet Benny... please."
 
 "Of course Ray," he whispered. He nestled closer, feeling Ray's heartbeat
against his hands as it slowly returned to normal. He eased them onto
their sides, still joined, and settled Ray back against his chest. He
nuzzled the delicate juncture of shoulder and neck, "Thank you kindly
Ray."
 
 Ray laughed sleepily, "I should be telling you that love. I can't believe
I waited so long."
 
 Fraser chuckled, "It was worth the wait Ray." He kissed his lover's cheek
and was rewarded with a half stifled yawn. He eased his softening member
from it's resting place and silenced Ray's protests with a gentle kiss. He
rose from the bed and headed for the kitchen. He dampened a towel with
warm water from the sink and quickly cleaned himself, surprised by the
aftershocks that surged through him. He looked back towards the bedroom
and smiled at the picture his lover made, sprawled unselfconsciously
across the bed. He rewarmed the towel in the water from the faucet, shut
off the water and returned to the bedroom. With soft touches he cleaned
his lover's body, smiling at the trust Ray's relaxed posture portrayed.
Finishing, he lay the towel aside and joined Ray on the bed. He drew the
covers up over them and settled Ray back against him. Ray's long legs
entwined with his, pulling their bodies together and Fraser sighed,
contentedly. He wrapped his arms around Ray's slumbering form and soon
joined his lover in peaceful rest.
 
 ********
 A sharp clap of thunder woke Fraser with a start. He realized he was once
again alone in the large bed and started to rise to find Ray.
 
 "He's all right Son. Give him a few minutes though."
 
 "Dad?" Fraser turned to find his father's ghost standing beside the bed
clad in his dress uniform. "Dad," he whispered, flustered by his father's
unexpected appearance, "what are you doing here?"
 
 "Keeping an eye on you two. Your mother thought you might need some
reassurance." Fraser senior turned to face his son and flushed, "She seems
to think you two might be having some... problems." His grey eyes darted
toward the window and Fraser junior followed the gaze. Ray stood at the
window, his hands moving as if he was speaking with someone. Fraser
started to go to him but his father stopped him, "He's a good man Son. It
might not be the relationship I envisioned for you, but I can see you love
him very much."
 
 "Yes sir. I do."
 
 Fraser senior cleared his throat awkwardly, "Well... that's the important
thing. He loves you?"
 
 "Yes sir, he does."
 
 "Good. Treat each other well Boy." He turned away from the bed, "He's
going to need a lot of love Son, he reminds me of your mother in that
respect. Do a better job than I did in making sure he knows how you feel."
 
 "Yes sir. Thank you kindly for the advice."
 
 "Thank your mother Son. She opened my eyes to a great many things... I
just wish I learned them sooner." He turned back towards the bed once
more, "I'm proud of you son, very proud."
 
 Fraser studied his father for a moment then smiled, "Thank you sir...
Dad." Fraser senior returned the smile, then with a tip of his hat he
disappeared. Fraser stared for several moments at the spot where his
father had been, feeling more light-hearted than he had in years. Ray's
voice drifted through the apartment and Fraser strained to hear his
lover's voice...
 
 
 Ray regarded his father with a look somewhere between disgust and sorrow,
"No Pop. I'm *not* sorry. I love him and that's all there is to it."
 
 Carmine Vecchio snorted and turned his back on his son, "You're a fool
Boy, you always were."
 
 Ray bowed his head, "Maybe so Pop. But I'm my *own* fool. I make my own
choices and I'm not going to let you run my life anymore. He's the best
thing that ever happened to me and I'm happier than I've been in years.
Nothing you say will change how I feel Pop, nothing."
 
 "Then it's on your head," the elder Vecchio spat, "I hope you're happy."
 
 "Yeah Pop, I am. I'm sorry you don't approve, but I'm not going to let
that stop me. I love Benny too much for that. Go away Pop. Go away and let
me live my life in peace." Ray turned away from his father, letting the
spray of the rain coming through the window cool his flushed face, "Good
bye Pop." He bowed his head, the familiar feelings of loss and failure
assaulting him once more. 
 
 Warm hands pulled him back from the window and wrapped a soft towel
around his damp shoulders. He pulled the towel tighter around him as
Fraser closed the window, blocking out the rain. He stood silently as
Fraser turned and began to dry him, the strong hands surprisingly gentle
as they wiped the rain and tears from Ray's face. 
 
 "Are you alright Ray?"
 
 Ray regarded the handsome face, feeling his heart lighten at the peace he
found in Fraser's pale gaze. The words of the song filtered back through
his thoughts,
 
 *While the world outside my window goes insane.
 *You're here to remind me...
 *A few good things remain.
 
 "Yeah Benny. I'm fine... now," he pulled the Canadian into his arms,
needing to feel the reassuring press of Fraser's body against his own.
 
 Fraser wrapped his arms around Ray's slender form, "I'm glad Ray." The
sound of the rain against the window was oddly soothing in the stillness
of the apartment. Fraser stroked Ray's short, damp hair, holding him
close. He could feel the tension in Ray's body as it molded to his and
recalled his father's words, "Ray."
 
 "Yeah Benny?" came the muffled reply.
 
 "I love you."
 
 
 "I love you too Benny."
 
 There was a long pause and Fraser felt the tension slowly easing from
Ray's body. He stood, holding his lover tenderly. The words when they came
were spoken so softly that Fraser almost missed them.
 
 "Thank you."
 
 Fraser studied his lover in confusion, "For what Ray?"
 
 "For loving me." Hazel-green eyes searched Fraser's face
self-consciously, "For... everything."
 
 Fraser led Ray away from the window and back to the warmth of their bed.
The towel and two robes fell to the floor in rapid succession and two
forms lowered to the mattress. Fraser covered Ray's body with his own, his
hands skimming the lithe form and drawing quiet moans of pleasure from the
detective. "Understood Ray," he said, capturing one sensitive nipple
between his teeth and nipping lightly, "Understood."
 
 *like a warm spring rain
 *on the roof above
 *the way you call my name
 *when we make love
 *while the world outside my window goes insane
 *you're here to remind me a few good things remain
                                 A Few Good Things Remain
                                  by Kathy Mattea
 
 The End
 
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