Jumping to Conclusions 1/1    

Disclaimer: This story is written for the private entertainment of fans.
The author makes no claims on the characters or their portrayal by the
creation of this story. Fraser, Vecchio, et.al. belong to Alliance; the
McKenzies and friends belong to me. No infringement of any copyrights held
by CBS, Alliance, CTV, or any other copyright holders of DUE SOUTH is
intended. This story is not published for profit, and the author does not
give permission for this story to be reproduced for profit. 

Rated PG (Drama/Romance) 

Jumping to Conclusions 

By SL Haas 

(Copyright November 1996, Revised April 1999)  

"Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't
feel that you've done a permanent job."  

  

May 1984 

"This is a stupid idea." His footsteps echoed down the empty hallway. 'I
hope Phil is still here,' he thought as his footsteps carried him to an
office door that clearly stated Department of Geology. Taking a deep
breath, he turned the knob and entered the office. 

He would never get used to the way women stopped and stared at him with
looks that ranged from mild interest to downright lust. The woman behind
the desk reminded him of a she-wolf closing in for the kill. Her eyes
moved from the crown of his head down his body, lingered in the general
region of his 'belt buckle,' then slithered to his feet and back to his
face. He tugged the collar of his shirt and addressed the woman. "Benton
Fraser..." he glanced at the name on the nameplate, "...Ms. Atwood. I'm
looking for Dr. Philippe McKenzie. Could you direct me to her office?" 

The hunger in the eyes of the woman made him intensely uncomfortable. He
felt like the dessert tray at a Weight-Watchers banquet. The woman
continued to devour him with her eyes, her tongue sliding across her lips.


Ben cleared his throat, "Hmm...errgh... If you would kindly direct me to
her office, Ma'am?" The look in the woman's eyes caused him to add, "It's
urgent that I talk with 

Dr. McKenzie as soon as possible." 

A disappointed frown briefly settled on her face, then with a shrug, she
said, "Phil's...uh, Dr. McKenzie's new office is upstairs, Room 315. I
believe she's moving her things into it now. Take the stairs at the end of
the hall. It's the third door on the left." She smiled at him. "I could
show you the way." Her look clearly said there were other things she
wanted to show him. 

"Thank you kindly, Ma'am, but that will not be necessary. I am sure that,
given your excellent directions, I will be able to find the appropriate
office." With that said, he spun sharply on his heels and hurried out of
the office. As he closed the door he caught one last look from the woman
and saw her hand flutter to her chest in an exaggerated sigh. His
footsteps away from the office were decidedly more rapid than they had
been as he approached. 

He could hear the phone ringing as he approached the door of Room 315.
"Hello, Philippe McKenzie here." The door was ajar and Ben could hear Phil
clearly. He raised his hand to knock. 

"TJ? Is that really you?...I'm fine. How is the most important man in my
life?" Ben's hand stilled and dropped to his side as Phil laughed at the
reply. "Don't tell him that!" More laughter..."How are things in Paris?
Damn, I miss you....I know, I know, I shouldn't swear. It just slipped
out. What are you going to do, wash my mouth out?" She laughed again and
Ben leaned closer to the door to hear more. He hesitated to eavesdrop but
something held him there. It must be the intricate grain of the wood that
made up the door. He would never stoop to eavesdrop, so it had to be the
door that held his interest. 

"You're where?...What are you doing there? That's only... yeah, I can meet
your plane...hour and a half? I'll be there." Ben could hear the rising
excitement in her voice. Who was this TJ she was going to meet? Not that
he really wanted to know. He was just interested in the grain of that
door. It had such perfect swirls to it. Come to think of it, the wood
scent was very interesting, too. Oak...red oak...Quercus falcata to be
exact... 

"It's been so long, TJ...I love you, too." The tenderness and obvious love
in her voice affected Ben, as he had never been before. He wanted to
throttle this TJ. He wanted to feel his throat between his fingers. He
was...jealous!? The thought shook him and he stepped away from the door
that had consumed his interest and shook his head in bewilderment.  

"Get a grip on yourself, Benton," he whispered to himself in a voice that
caught in his throat. He couldn't be jealous--he barely knew her. When
husky laughter drifted from the door, he took a deep breath, turned
quickly, and left the building. 

Climbing into the RMR jeep Ben grasped the wheel with both hands then
leaned his forehead on it. 'Oh dear, what was that all about?' he asked
himself. First, he knowingly eavesdropped on a private conversation, and
then he had reacted to that conversation in a decidedly jealous manner.
What could have possessed him to act like that? It wasn't as if he had any
real emotional involvement with Phil. After all, he would be leaving in
five months. Still, he wondered who this TJ fellow was? What was his
relationship with Phil? Why did it matter to him what their relation was? 

It had been exactly one week ago today that he had first looked into
Phil's eyes at Miller's Crossing and he could not get her out of his
thoughts. The two times that Phil had stopped by the RMR station, he had
been elsewhere. He had not seen Phil since they had said goodbye at the
hospital. 

He shook his head at the remembered plight that brought them to the
hospital. After Phil had decked him with her surprise punch, he had
carefully splinted her swollen hand. By the time they reached the
hospital, Phil's hand was not only swollen but the coloring reminded him
of ripe plums. X-rays revealed that she had, in fact, broken her hand.	

He smiled to himself. 'That should teach her to think before she throws
another punch!' Especially now that she wore a cast on that hand. He
didn't relish the thought of another punch from that hand. His jaw was
only just beginning to lose its own coloration from the bruise Phil had
given him. 

Why was he here? Why was it so important that he had to see her now?
Couldn't it wait until she was back on active duty? Why had he driven to
the university on the off chance of catching her?  

Darryl had informed him that Phil was the designated supervisor for the
training program. As soon as school was over and she returned to active
duty, Phil would assume the supervision of his training. Darryl could then
devote his energies to running the RMR station. Ben wanted to discuss his
training with Phil, perhaps over dinner...but now she was meeting this TJ
person at the airport. 

He backed the jeep out of the parking lot and headed down the hill to the
highway that would carry him to the airport. When he realized where the
jeep was headed he whispered in amazement, "I can't believe I'm doing
this." He pulled over to the side of the road and sat there waging a
mental battle over what he should do. 

He welcomed the chance to get to know her better and thought a
professional atmosphere would be easier on both of them--easier but not as
exciting. He thought about his feelings for Phil. What feelings? He didn't
have any feelings for her; he didn't know her well enough to have
feelings. After all, he was leaving in 5 months. Why then did the thought
of TJ and Phil together create a knot in the pit of his stomach? 

Maybe he did harbor some small feelings for Phil. 'I just want to be
friends,' he thought. 'I just want to get to know her better.' Did it
matter to him that she was evidently in love with another man? Of course
it shouldn't matter, but for some reason it did. 'I'm over reacting to
her. She's so different from other women. I've become infatuated with the
idea of pursuing rather than being pursued. Now I know why she didn't
react to me the way other women do. She's in love with this TJ,' he
reasoned to himself. But what had he seen in the depths of her eyes? 

Maybe if he saw them together it would knock this infatuation out of him.
He could get her out of his thoughts--get his mind back on the job. He
really didn't want to become involved in a relationship. And now it looked
like the only women he was drawn to was already involved with this TJ
fellow. He just needed confirmation of that relationship. Having justified
his actions to himself he pulled out into the sparse traffic and headed to
the airport. 

He drove to the airport and parked the jeep at the far end of the parking
lot behind a large van. All he needed was for Phil to spot a RMR jeep at
the airport. Slamming the door shut, he raced across the lot and entered
the terminal. The airport building was not a large structure and he was
hard pressed to find an inconspicuous spot. He finally took refuge behind
a leafy, potted plant that provided some cover. It seemed an eternity
before Phil entered the terminal and searched the arrival listings.  

Phil hurried to the gate and stared out at the sky as if entreating it to
send a certain plane a little faster. She was antsy. It had been over a
year since she had last seen TJ. She hated it when he moved to Paris. She
had never been that far from either of her brothers. Talking to him over
the phone just wasn't the same as talking to him face to face. And now he
was on his way to see her--would be here any minute. She smiled, 'It's
just like him. No warning, no nothing. He just expects me to drop
everything and come running. And naturally that's exactly what I do.' 

The arrival was announced and Phil moved closer to the gate. She strained
to see the plane unload. Yes, there he was. He was so tall, dark, and
handsome. (Both the McKenzie men were handsome--but, then again, she was
prejudiced.) His black trenchcoat flapped in the breeze. 'He's let his
hair grow. And where did he get that coat? It looks like something out of
a gangster movie!' She smiled, letting the love for her brother fill her
eyes. A lump rose in her throat--she had missed him dreadfully. 

TJ entered the terminal and saw Phil standing off to the side. He moved
toward her, dropped his bag, and held his arms wide. She flung herself
into his arms and they hugged long and hard. Phil was laughing and crying
as TJ smiled down at her. "How are you, Flip?" He caressed her cheek then
lowered his head and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. 

"I'm better, now that you're home." She buried her face in his chest, "I
have missed you so much. I can't believe you're actually here." 

"Not as much as I've missed my little sis. Did you actually think I would
miss my only sister's graduation? Not like that disreputable brother of
ours!" 

Phil tossed her head back and grinned up into TJ's face. "Now, TJ, you
know as well as I do why Rob can't make it. He's just started his
residency and he can't get away unless it's an emergency. Graduations are
not emergencies. You know he'd be here if he could. I had a good long talk
with him last week. He acted like I would disown him because he couldn't
make it. Especially since he thought you wouldn't be here either." 

"I know, that's primarily why I'm here. At least one of us should be here
for you. And I was on my way home anyway--just decided to come a bit
earlier than originally planned. I finished my project a month earlier
than I thought I would. So, voila, here I am. Ready to be pampered and
treated with proper deference from my oh-so-thankful baby sister." 

TJ laughed as Phil blew a raspberry that let him know just what she
thought of his plans. "Come on, let's get out of here." With one arm
around her shoulders and his bag grasped in the other, he steered Phil to
the door. They were so engrossed in each other that neither saw the young
man that quickly turned his back to them as they approached. 

Ben watched as Phil and TJ left the terminal. He had watched them as they
embraced and shared a tender hello. Why did he feel so numb, so empty? He
had seen exactly what he thought he would see. Why was he surprised? Why
did it affect him the way it had? When he saw Phil's battered Blazer pull
out of the parking lot, he left the terminal, retrieved the jeep, and
returned to his motel room. 

Why did the sight of Phil with someone else bother him so much? They had
known each other less than a week--barely a start on a friendship. Yet, it
did bother him. All of the events of the previous weekend replayed in his
mind. He admitted it. He was attracted to Phil and he was certain Phil was
attracted to him. He had seen the look in her eyes, held her in his arms,
had tasted her willing kiss. He felt his body begin to respond to his
preoccupation with Phil. He groaned as the thought of yet another cold
shower assailed him. It was going to be a long night. * * * 

Phil and TJ talked of many things as she drove them to her house--Rob's
residency, TJ's project in Paris, Phil's upcoming graduation. TJ turned to
Phil, "So when do I get to meet him?" 

Startled, Phil glanced at him. "Meet who?" 

"The man that's put that glow in you eyes." 

Puzzled and a little wary, Phil replied, "TJ, I'm just happy to see you." 

"No, there's something more there than just me." He smiled at her, "It's
about time you found someone. You know Rob and I have been concerned about
your being alone and being lonely." 

"Well, If you two wouldn't chase off every man I've ever dated, then maybe
I wouldn't be alone." 

"They just weren't good enough for you! So when do I get to meet him?" 

"There is no one, I tell you. And there probably never will be. Would you
want to date a girl who had two 'vultures' watching over her? The guy that
puts up with your interrogations will have to have a very thick skin or
the patience of Job," she said with disgust. 

"Or love you very much." TJ smiled at her. 

"You're impossible, TJ." 

"I know, but you love me anyway." A self-satisfied look settled on his
face. He wasn't through on this subject yet, but thought that maybe a
change of direction might throw her off. Glancing back at Phil he asked,
"How did you break you hand?" 

The wary look returned to her eyes as she replied, "I broke it during a
rescue last week." 

He shook his head. "What did you do? No, don't tell me. There was this
rock you wanted and it fell on your hand. No? You tripped over your own
feet and fell. No?" He warmed to his subject. "One of the guys got fresh
with you and you decked him." TJ laughed. He was having a great time. 

Phil on the other hand was not. His jests hit a little too close to the
truth. She tried to steer the conversation into a safer area. "TJ, didn't
you teach me how to defend 

myself? Don't you think I know better than to punch some guy with my
fist?" It was out before she realized what she had said. 

TJ stared at her. "You didn't...did you?" 

Phil thought about lying about the incident but knew that she couldn't get
away with it. Her brother knew her too well. "Let's just say I had a
difference of opinion with a guy, got mad at him, and punched him out.
Now, can we drop it?" The tone she used told TJ not to pursue the topic. 

TJ shrugged. He wasn't going anywhere soon and he knew there would be
other opportunities to pursue that topic. Just the thought of Phil
punching someone caused the smile on his face to broaden. All evening long
he tried to steer the conversation around to the man in Phil's life but
she adroitly maneuvered it elsewhere. This only increased TJ's curiosity
and determination to learn more. After all Phil was his only sister and,
heaven help any man that hurt her. It was his duty to protect her. 

However, right now, he had something he wanted to share with
her--something that filled his heart to overflowing. "I have something
special I want to tell you, Flip." He paused making certain he had her
attention, "I'm getting married." 

"Getting married? How? When? Who? TJ..." Phil looked into his eyes and saw
the glow and completeness that filled him. She also saw the apprehensive
look that told her that TJ wanted her approval. Phil loved her brothers
and wanted them to be happy, but TJ had always seemed to understand her a
bit better than Rob. Would she lose her brother to this woman who had
entered his life? No, she couldn't believe that. Nothing could destroy the
love and closeness shared by the McKenzie siblings. 

"She must be something special to have landed such a special man like you.
Tell me about her." 

TJ smiled at her, thanking her for her understanding. "Her name is Noelle
Barteaux and she's French," he began. He told of how they met, became
friends, and how he had fallen in love with her. As soon as her fellowship
ended she would join him in the States and they would be married. By the
time TJ finished talking Phil felt she knew her soon-to-be sister-in-law.
She envied the happiness that TJ had found. If only she could find that
same kind of happiness. 

Dinner was a distant memory when TJ called a halt to their reminiscing.
"Didn't you say something about a class tomorrow?" 

"Yeah, I've taken over the teaching responsibilities for one of my
professors. He's attending a month-long seminar in Iceland. I have to give
a final tomorrow; then do all the grade calculations, turn in the grade
sheets, and then I'm through for the semester--except for graduation, that
is!" 

"Imagine, another Dr. McKenzie. What does that make now? Three?" 

"Four, if you count Father." 

"He doesn't count, Flip. Remember, who you family really is." TJ's voice
was icily cold. 

"I know exactly who my family is and I'm so thankful to have both of
you--as strange as you both are!" she grinned at the familiar features of
the man stretched out on the floor opposite her. Phil couldn't help but
admire the dark handsomeness of her brother. In some ways Ben was like
him. She pulled her thoughts away from that subject. That's all she needed
right now--memories of that particular handsome face. 

TJ yawned and stretched his lean body. He was tired. The flights had been
long and boring and he had only caught a couple of hours of sleep on the
transatlantic flight. He was almost asleep on the floor in front of the
fireplace. 

"Goodnight, Flip. I'll see you tomorrow." He leaned over and planted a
kiss on her cheek then stood and stretched and headed downstairs to the
spare bedroom. Phil turned off the lights, checked the doors, and
followed. * * * 

Ben dialed the long familiar phone number. It rang six times and he was
about to hang up when a breathless Cat answered. 

"Hello?" 

"Uh...hello, Cat."  

"Ben? Is that you? What are you doing calling me? Has something happened?"


"No...no, Cat. I'm fine. I...I just needed to talk to someone." 

"So you call me." Her voice carried the smile that graced her face. 

"Uh...yes. Have I called at a bad time?"  

"I just finished feeding my animals and heard the phone ringing. So, no,
Ben, you haven't caught me in a compromising situation." 

Ben's cheeks burned with embarrassment. "Um...I didn't mean...you know
that I don't...um..." 

Cat's liquid laughter flowed over the miles that separated them. "It's
good to hear your voice, Ben. So...what's bothering you?"  

Ben drew in a sharp breath. He'd momentarily forgotten about Cat's sixth
sense. Why did it surprise him that she knew something was bothering him?
He sighed and dragged a thumb across his left eyebrow. "I've met someone."


"Really? That's great! Who is she?" 

"No, no, Cat," Ben quickly interjected--perhaps too quickly. "It's nothing
like that." 

"Well, shit! I thought you were going to tell me you'd finally met the
love of your life." 

"You should know better than that, Cat. I'll never be able to find someone
to replace you in my heart." 

"Not replace, Ben. No one could ever do that. But, someday, someday, you
will meet someone who will be able to love you as you deserve...need to be
loved. I was hoping that that was what you were going to tell me." 

"My soul mate?" The skepticism dripped from his voice. 

"Yes, your soul mate. It will happen, Ben. I just hope you recognize it
when it does." 

Maybe calling Cat hadn't been such a good idea. If he mentioned that he
confused about his reactions to a woman she'd claim he'd met his soul mate
and have him married with five kids before the conversation ended. But he
had called her. He needed to give her a valid reason for the call.
Something that wouldn't arouse her suspicions--if it wasn't already too
late for that. The perfect solution popped into his thoughts and it was
with some satisfaction that he said, "Thanks for the illuminating
discourse on soul mates, Cat. I'll try and remember it if and when the
time comes. But back to my problem, I guess I'm just not used to these
Yanks. They have some very strange idiomatic expressions as well as not
knowing how to set up a proper filing system. Not only that but..." 

Cat cut him off with a huge laugh. Ben smiled; it was working. Putting
just a touch of aggrieved hurt in his voice, he said, "I thought you would
understand what I'm going through down here, Cat." 

"Oh, I am, Ben, I am, but you're going to have to muddle through on your
own. You'll get used to them." 

"You think so?" 

"I know so. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if you made some life-long
friendships with some Americans." 

"I just might. Thanks, Cat. As always, you've been a great help." 

"I haven't done anything, Ben." 

"But it was enough. Thanks again. I'll see you when I get back to Canada."


"You know where I live." 

They made their good-byes and Ben hung up the phone. Feeling somewhat
better, he showered and climbed into bed. As he drifted to sleep, Cat's
familiar form was joined by that of Phil McKenzie and his dreams were of
these two women.  

After a restless night, Ben rose at dawn and drove down to the river. He
could think better when he was away from 'civilization.' The river flowed
clear and cold over the rapids below him. A light fog blanketed low spots
and the air contained a chill that would disperse as the day advanced. 

He thought long and hard about his feelings. He liked Phil. She intrigued
him. He felt at ease around her. He wanted to get to know her better. He
wanted that tenuous bond between them to develop into a friendship. He
needed to talk to her today and, preferably, without this TJ fellow. Maybe
he can catch her before she met him today. "Hmmm...I wonder how long he's
going to be in town." As an afterthought he added, "I hope he leaves
soon." 

He worked his way back to the jeep and turned it up the highway and drove
to Phil's place. He had never been there but Darryl had given him
directions. * * * 

"Interested in the Ice Queen? You're braver than I am. Do you have any
idea how protective her brothers are? And...she's not exactly the most
lovable person I know. Don't get me wrong, Fraser, she's one of the best
friends I have, but you can get frostbitten around her," Darryl snidely
commented. 

A puzzled look came over Ben's face. "I have no idea what you're talking
about. Phil and I barely know each other." 

A knowing look crept into Darryl's face as he grinned at Ben. "Sure, sure.
I piloted the helicopter that picked you up last weekend, remember?" 

Ben turned away and busied himself with some papers on the desk. "You have
it all wrong. When I cleaned out my pack I found Phil's compass. She must
have mine. I simply wanted to return it to her." It wasn't exactly a lie,
he did have her compass, and he did want to return it. It was just that
Darryl didn't need to know there were other reasons for wanting to know
where Phil lived. 

Darryl just grinned and gave him the directions to Phil's place. As Ben
left the room Darryl called out, "Hey Mountie, good luck! You're going to
need it." His laughter followed Ben out of the building. * * * 

Using the time to drive to Phil's place, Ben rehearsed what he wanted to
say. Before he knew it, he was turning onto the road down to her house. He
pulled up in the drive next to Phil's Blazer. As he climbed out of the
jeep his eyes swept over the solidly built house with its small grove of
aspens off to the side. He turned a full circle and a stab of homesickness
assailed him. It reminded him in some ways of his father's cabin. The fog
lay thick on the field behind the house and Ben knew that when the fog
lifted, the river would be visible in the distance. It was a beautiful
sight.	

He approached the door noting the profusion of flowers growing along the
side of the house. On closer inspection he discovered they were all
columbines--different varieties but still columbines. He was amazed at the
variety displayed before his eyes. He catalogued each variety he spied:
Aquilegia chrysantha, golden columbine; a. coerulea, blue columbine; a.
formosa, Sitka columbine; a. pubescens, Coville's columbine. His hand
reached and stroked a small, dark blue flower. He breathed a sigh of
homesickness, 'A. jonesii, limestone columbine! I didn't think these grew
this far south and certainly not at this elevation!' 

He stood and approached the door. A carved wooden sign over the door
caught his attention. It read simply Clan McKenzie. Finally, he stood in
front of the door. He raised his hand to knock, but stopped. He spun about
and stalked back to his jeep. "I can't do this," he muttered to himself.
Just as quickly, he spun back and approached the door. "I have to do
this...I can do this." He rapped smartly on the door. * * * 

Drip, drip, drip. The rain fell in large fat drops. Drip, drip, drip. She
turned away from the rain as it pelted her face. Somehow the rain
continued to find her face. She brushed it away. Again. Blinking her eyes,
she came fully awake to see a devilish grin on TJ's face. His skin
glistened from the shower he had just finished. Now he was dripping on
her. "Flip, it's time to get up. Don't you have a class today?" 

Phil yawned and rolled over to look at the clock--7:30. Her eyes widened.
"I've got a test at 9:30. My alarm didn't go off!" 

"I'll fix you some breakfast while you get dressed." TJ leaned over and
smoothed her tousled hair down.  

"Thanks, I'd really appreciate that." Having brothers could definitely be
an asset, especially one who could cook. She climbed out of bed and
stretched then headed for the bathroom. TJ grabbed his towel and jeans and
headed toward the stairs. They both turned to look at each other when the
sounds of knocking reached their ears. 

"Who could that be?" Phil started toward the stairs. 

TJ held up his hand and pointed to her bathroom. "You go ahead and get
ready. I'll answer the door for you and see who it is." TJ gave her a
quick smile then climbed the stairs to the main floor. 

Ben knocked again. She had to be home. Her Blazer sat next to his jeep. He
turned back to the door when he heard the deadbolt drawn. The door opened
to reveal TJ dressed only in black boxers, vigorously drying his hair. 

"Hi, what can I do for you?" 

Ben saw red. Actually he saw more than just red. It was obvious TJ had
spent the night with Phil. His thoughts flew to Phil in the throws of
passionate love with another man. Jealousy consumed him. He pulled back
his arm and let fly a punch that impacted soundly on TJ's jaw. As he went
down, TJ hooked his legs in Ben's. This brought Ben crashing down on top
of him. They rolled together trying to get an advantage, but the narrow
entrance impeded their movements. The struggle continued down the hallway
knocking over a table and several pictures off the wall. Neither man could
get the upper hand; they were too evenly matched. 

Phil searched her closet for the clothes she wanted to wear. She heard a
loud thud and sounds of a scuffle coming faintly from the stairwell. She
raced up the stairs to find TJ and Ben rolling toward the sofa. "WHAT IN
HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" she yelled. 

Startled, both men turned to her in surprised silence. Phil stood over
them, feet slightly apart, hands on hips. Plaid boxers peeked out from
beneath a red T-shirt with I survived Black Bear Pass emblazoned across
the front. It clung to the curves of her body. "What is going on here?
Fraser, what in hell are you doing here?" 

TJ looked at Ben and saw him staring at Phil. There was a hunger in his
eyes. He began to laugh. He rolled back on the floor and held his sides.
"This is too much." Ben and Phil stared at him. TJ continued to laugh. 

"TJ, you'd better explain yourself or you'll find yourself out on the
doorstep with Fraser." Phil's tone was no nonsense soft. 

Undaunted by her threat, TJ sat up and struggled to bring his laughter
under control. He grinned at Ben and Phil. Ben stared back with a steely
glint in his eye; Phil's expression could only be called murderous. He
couldn't help it; he laughed again. 

In between chuckles he managed to say, "Flip, picture this...when I opened
the door...what did Fraser here, see? Me, half dressed...obviously just
from the shower...I would have thought...I'd slept with you, too!" 

"Slept with me?" A look of disgust crossed her face matching the tone of
her voice. "You though TJ had slept with me? Why would you think that? No
offense, TJ, but I'd get more sleep in a sawmill!" TJ laughed at the
slight to his snoring.	

Phil shook her head. "TJ, explain yourself while I finish dressing." She
shook her head again and turned to go. Glancing back over her shoulder she
snapped at the two men, "If I didn't already know that men were one notch
above amoebas on the intelligence scale, you two would have convinced me."


After Phil disappeared Ben glanced at TJ, "Moody!" 

TJ snickered, "You have no idea." He stretched out his hand to Ben, "I'm
Tom McKenzie, my friends call me TJ." 

"Benton Fraser." They shook hands. "You're one of Phil's brothers?" Relief
flooded over him when TJ nodded his head. He was her brother not a
boyfriend or lover. His thoughts shied away from just why he was relieved.


"After today I may not be. Flip doesn't lose her temper often, but when
she does..." his eyes rolled, "...it's best to hunt cover quickly!" 

"Understood. I found that out for myself." Ben rubbed his jaw.	

Only then did TJ notice the fading bruise. He began laughing again.
"You're the guy Flip punched? This is too much!" He laughed again. "Come
on, we need to talk."  

TJ and Ben climbed to their feet and headed toward the kitchen. TJ snagged
his jeans from the back of a chair and pulled them on. "Have you had
breakfast?" he asked. 

"Well no, actually." 

"Great! Join us. Before our little encounter..." he rubbed his jaw, "...I
was on my way to fix breakfast for Flip and me. Can you believe it? She
has a class today. She's giving a final exam." He raised his voice and
practically shouted down the stairwell, "She has absolutely no
consideration for the time and effort I went through to spend some time
with her." Ben shared a grin with TJ. 

The two men worked together to prepare a meal for the three of them. Phil
seemed to be taking a longer amount of time getting dressed. Ben sent
several searching looks toward the stairwell. TJ grinned each time he saw
him do it. 

Taking his coffee cup, TJ motioned for Ben to join him on the deck. "Flip
certainly chose well when she bought this place. It suits her." Ben nodded
his agreement. Both stared out across the meadow to the lake and the river
far below that were gradually appearing through the dissipating fog. "Now,
Benton, or is it Ben?" 

"Most people call me Fraser, but my friends call me Ben." The look he
turned on TJ was an open invitation. "Call me Ben." TJ grinned and stuck
out his hand again. 

"Call me TJ. Now about my sister..." 

"What about me?" Phil collected a cup of coffee and joined them on the
deck. "TJ, how many times have I warned you about grilling my friends?"  

A warm feeling flowed through Ben--'friends'?!? 

"About as many times as you've warned Rob. I listen just as well as he
does, too." 

She closed her eyes and shook her head, "T, I apologize for my brothers,
present and absent. They both treat me like I'm still 12 and incapable of
taking care of myself. Most of the time they just drive me crazy." 

"Understood," but Ben was looking at TJ, "I have a sister, too." The men
shared a look and nodded their heads. "Sisters can be such a trial. They
never appreciate what a brother goes through to..." 

"On second thought, T, I retract my apology. If you treat your sister like
these two treats me, she has my complete sympathy. And TJ," she gave him a
meaningful look, "you can grill him all you want." She turned back to the
house, "I hope that was breakfast I smelled." 

After eating, Phil gathered her things together to leave. "Can you two
keep out of trouble while I'm gone? Ben, don't you have something you need
to be doing?" 

TJ and Ben looked at each other then at Phil. Ben sipped his coffee and
smiled at her, "No, not for a couple of hours." He locked eyes with TJ, "I
imagine we can find something to occupy us?" 

TJ nodded his head, "There's bound to be something we can do." He grinned
at Phil. "Don't worry about us." 

Phil stared at the two men. The look of complete innocence on their faces
was enough to give her second thoughts. "TJ..." 

"Go, go. You don't want to be late." He held his hand over his heart, "I
promise to behave myself." 

Phil had no choice but to leave the two of them there together. She hoped
they would still be alive when she returned. Although, they did seemed to
be hitting it off okay. She just didn't trust the two of them together. It
was sodium and water--just waiting to blow up! 

After Phil left, Ben and TJ spent some time getting to know each other
better. They discussed their different backgrounds, consumed way too much
coffee, and, generally, avoided the topic they both wanted to pursue. 

"So, you're a Mountie. What's a Mountie doing working rescue?" 

"I had the opportunity to participate in this training program on
backcountry rescue. Since most of my postings have been in fairly remote
areas, I thought it would be an invaluable experience. What I've learned
so far only reinforces my belief that this was a good idea. There's a lot
here that I can use in my duties with the RCMP." Ben rose to his feet and
stretched. "Well, I guess I should be going. I never planned to stay this
long." 

"And you certainly didn't plan on spending it with me!"  

"No..." Ben ran his fingers through his hair then grinned at TJ, "that I
didn't!" 

"Just why did you come by so early?" 

"I...uh, I needed to talk to Phil." 

"It couldn't wait till later in the day?" 

Ben's grin became rueful. "I wanted to talk to her before she got together
with you." 

"With me?" 

"Yes." Ben moved to the patio door and looked down the trail toward the
river. "I saw you at the airport yesterday." 

TJ smiled to himself. He found himself liking this Mountie. He had seen
the chemistry between him and Phil. He had seen the denial by Phil and the
hesitancy in Ben. It reminded him so much of his own experience with
Noelle. But, and it was a big but, he needed to know this man better.  

"Well, as you can see, Flip has no consideration at all for the 'wants' of
others. You wanted to talk to her today--I wanted to spend the day with
her. So, what does she do? She spends it giving a final exam. She should
have never volunteered to take over her professor's duties." He sighed in
disgust, "It's not fair!" He shook his head. "You know what we should do?"


Ben found himself grinning again, "No, what?" 

"Forget about her and, you and me, find something to do. Something she
would love to do. But...we'll do it without her and then tell her about it
later." The smug look on TJ's face caused Ben to laugh. He could see that
Phil came by her sense of humor naturally. The McKenzie clan was
definitely slightly warped.  

"That sounds like a good idea. What do you have in mind?" 

"Well, I wanted to do some rock climbing while I was here..." 

"Pancake Alley?" 

"Just the place." 

The two men collected Phil's climbing gear ("She won't mind if I borrow
her stuff!") and left for the RMR station. Ben collected his gear and
checked in. TJ reacquainted himself with Darryl and Jason. He had worked
rescue one summer shortly after Phil had joined the group. His past
experience with RMR gave Ben the opportunity he needed. Solo patrols were
not permitted, but with TJ along he could patrol the 'Alley' as they
climbed. * * * 

Ben handled the upper belay that brought TJ up to the ledge where he sat,
feet braced against a rock. "This looks like a good spot for a break," Ben
said as he reached down to give TJ a hand up. They had climbed steadily
for a couple of hours and were a little over half way up. It was not a
difficult exposure but it was challenging. 

TJ dug in his pack and brought out a couple of Snickers bars. "Look what I
found in Phil's fridge." He gave one to Ben who took it then laughed. TJ
stared at him as if he had suddenly sprouted horns. "Mind telling me
what's so funning about a candy bar?" 

"Nothing, really," but the bar brought back the memory of a kiss. "Phil
really likes these candy bars." What a stupid thing to say. 

"Likes them? She inhales them! She loves chocolate and caramel. You should
see what she does to a box of Milk Duds!" TJ shook his head in amazement.
"It's a miracle she's not as broad as a barn!" The image of Phil as 'broad
as a barn' elicited a chuckle from Ben. TJ joined Ben and they sat there
in a companionable silence enjoying the view and the company of a kindred
soul. 

The climb on up to the top was exhilarating and rewarding. Standing at the
apex, they look at each other, grinned, and shared a 'high-five.' 

"Man, this beats anything and everything." 

"I couldn't agree more," Ben replied. "Although, for a true adrenaline
rush, nothing compares with Phil's Falls." 

"You've been to the Falls?" 

Ben nodded. A look of apprehension momentarily crossed his face. "I've
been there, slid down it, and over the edge." He paused, "Phil save my
life." He turned to regard TJ. "She's a special person and I would like to
get to know her better." 

TJ returned the look. "How much better?" 

Shaking his head, Ben answered, "I don't know. I can't even explain it to
myself. But, something happened last week during the rescue we were
on--something between Phil and me. I don't know what it is, but I need to
find out. I need to know before I go back to Canada." 

TJ began coiling the rope, "Do you love her?" he asked quietly. 

Ben shook his head and moved closer to the edge. He looked back at the
other man. "TJ...I honestly don't know. I don't know what I'm feeling."
Confusion was plain on his face. 

"How does she feel?" 

Ben shook his head and shrugged. "I'm not sure. She avoids me like I had
the plague." 

"Do you know why?" 

"No, but I imagine the fact that I'm returning to Canada could be a
factor." 

"So...Flip's wary of you, afraid of becoming involved with you and you
think it's because you aren't staying here?" Ben nodded.  

'If I didn't love her so much I would strangle her.' TJ thought to
himself. It seemed to him that his sister liked Ben, liked him a lot,
maybe she was even falling in love with him. He sighed. He'd seen this
happen before. Rather than face the prospect of loving someone then losing
them, she avoided any relationships that touched her heart. She would
crawl back into that damn shell she built to protect herself. Phil would
deny she cared and let Ben walk out of her life without trying to stop
him--without even letting him know how she felt. 

So...if his little sister was too 'chicken' to pursue this man, it was up
to him to step in and give her a push. TJ was a good judge of character
and he knew that this Mountie, this Benton Fraser, was the kind of man he
and Rob wanted Phil to find. If he didn't move quickly she might lose Ben
before she realized what she had. That is--if Ben was seriously interested
in Phil. 

"Ben, if you're serious about my sister, then there are some things about
her you need to know. Believe me, it will help you interpret some of her
reactions. Mind you, I said some of them. I've known her all her life and
she still surprises the hell out of me!" 

Ben nodded. "I feel the same about my sister, Becka." 

"I don't know if you realize it but Flip likes you. She only yells at
people she likes and, if you recall this morning, she tore into you just
as much as me. With casual acquaintances or people she doesn't know, she
is hesitant and wary. I've heard her called the 'Ice Queen.' Believe me it
fits her." He gazed off into the distance. 

"You're not the first one to tell me that. Shy, is the word I've heard
most often." 

"Shy's not a word I would use to describe her. Once you get past that
initial wariness of hers and she feels comfortable around you, man you
better watch out! She has a wicked sense of humor and she believes in
sharing it with her friends." He chuckled at memories of Phil's humor in
action. He moved closer to Ben and sat next to him. 

Ben smiled as he remembered his own sister's quirkiness. "Well, to be
truthful, I would have never used the word shy with Phil either. Hesitant
and wary I can see, but shy? Never." Reflecting back to the previous week
he continued, "Which is strange because Phil wasn't hesitant or wary with
me until..." Self-consciously his voice trailed off. 

"Until what?" TJ prodded. 

Ben stared intently at his hands. "Until I kissed her." A sharp look from
TJ went unnoticed. "I haven't seen anything that remotely resembles an
'Ice Queen.'" His voice gradually faded, "It's as if I've known her
forever." A cold shiver coursed up and down his spine. Could this be love?
This was different from what he felt for Cat. He loved Cat but could he be
falling in love with Phil? What if he was? Ben's thoughts chased each
other round and round his mind leaving him confused. 

TJ grinned. It just got better and better. "Just wait until she threatens
you with mortal danger. Then you'll know for sure that she really likes
you." 

Ben smiled and looked sideways at the man seated next to him, "Would being
'stomped into the ground until there was nothing left to identify' count?"


TJ crowed, "She definitely likes you." He paused and a shadow crept into
his voice and eyes. His demeanor reflected the distance of his thoughts. 

"Flip has never allowed herself to care deeply about anyone other than Rob
and me." He took a deep breath and continued. "Our father blamed Flip for
Mom's death and shunned her." His voice dropped to a whisper, "Dammit,
Ben, she was only two when Mom died and, still, Father rejected her." TJ
ran his hands through his hair then over his face. "She was too young to
understand what was going on, but Rob and I knew." Suppressed anger caused
the ragged edge to his voice. 

"We protected Flip--we raised her--we became her mother and father. We
tried to hide the truth from her but she figured it out. When Father was
dying he refused to even see Flip." TJ paused and drew in a deep breath
and let it out slowly. "It affected her deeply. She built a wall around
her heart to prevent being hurt like that again. She has hidden behind
that damn wall for years." His fist impacted on his knee. "She makes
friends..." it was TJ's turn to intently study his hands, "...but we're
the only ones she lets into her heart." The pain in his voice was all too
evident to Ben. 

"I would never knowingly hurt Phil." 

TJ regarded Ben deliberately. "You might not intend to hurt her, Ben. So,
I'm asking you--one brother to another--don't breach her wall of
protection--don't try to increase this 'bond' you feel you have with
her--if you don't love her." 

"I like Phil. She's different from other women. I feel something but I
don't know if it's love. How can I know if I don't get to know her
better?" 

"Benton, if you loved her you would know. It's like what happened between
Noelle and myself. I knew I wasn't staying in Paris and I didn't want to
become seriously involved with anyone. But, Noelle...there was something
about her. When I was with her I felt whole, complete. I didn't have to do
anything or be anything...I could be myself." TJ smiled and shook his
head. "I realized that I needed her in my life. I was fortunate--she felt
the same. We're getting married as soon as her fellowship is up. I am
probably one of the happiest guys alive." He stood, flung his arms wide,
and shouted, "I love you, Noelle Barteaux!" He laughed and turned to Ben.
"I want Flip to be happy too. But the question is, Ben, are you the one to
make her happy? Or will you just hurt her?" 

How could he answer that? "I don't know, TJ. But, I think you're
underestimating Phil. She has a strength within her..." he paused and
thought back to Thunder Basin. "She faces her fears head on and overcomes
them. She goes back up to Phil's Falls and faces that slope over and over
again. Don't you think she can handle her own feelings? I don't want to
sound like I'm being judgmental, but just what right do you have to make
this kind of decision for her? Don't you think she should be the one to
decide?" 

TJ stared at Ben, quietly regarding the face turned to him. He smiled then
reached over and slapped Ben on the back. "You're absolutely right!" Good!
An overprotective brother would not intimidate him. Things were definitely
looking promising. 

Ben turned a puzzled look on TJ. "You mean you don't object to my getting
to know Phil better?" 

"Not at all. Just promise me one thing. I know your time is limited--but
don't rush things. That way, if you find you don't want to be more than
friends, Flip won't be as hurt when you leave as she would be if she loved
you." 

"And if I find that I love her?" 

"Then...go for it! Knowing Flip, you'll have a fight all the way, but..."
A knowing smile crossed his features, "she's worth it and...there are
certain..." He searched for the right word, "...certain pleasures to be
had in making up." TJ's face turned serious. "But just remember, Ben, Phil
has two devoted brothers. If you hurt her, you'll have to deal with us." 

Ben nodded his head acknowledging the not-so-subtle warning. "I
understand, TJ. I, too, have a sister." * * * 

Phil's day was less challenging than TJ's or Ben's. One of her professors
had left early to attend a conference in Iceland. Phil volunteered to
teach his last two weeks of classes and administer the final exams. Her
willingness to step in and help in any situation had earned her the
respect of the faculty. This dedication, combined with her mastery of her
field of study, and the timely retirement of a faculty member lead to an
unprecedented offer: an assistant professorship. Phil was overjoyed when
the offer was tendered. She really didn't want to leave the area and this
job offer was just what she wanted. She could teach, continue her
research, and work with RMR. It was the best of both worlds. She couldn't
believe her luck. In less than a week she would graduate and not only have
her doctorate, but would also become a full member of the faculty. 

With the security of her position at the university, Phil began to
establish permanent roots. She bought her house when the owners moved out
of state. She had rented it for the past four years and had fallen in love
with it. Now it was hers. She was content with her life. She had no need
for distractions or complications such as Benton Fraser. Still, there were
times when she wished someone cared for her and loved her; someone other
than her brothers. Fortunately those times were few and far between. The
rest of the time she was thankful that she had learned to be self-reliant.
She needed no one--except, of course, her brothers. She definitely needed
her brothers. 

Her thoughts drifted to her last visit to Thunder Basin and, inevitably,
to Ben. She wondered what he and TJ were doing. She hated to leave them
alone together. She was apprehensive over what TJ might ask Ben or, even
worse, what he might tell him. 

'Why did T come by this morning? And fighting with TJ?' She shook her
head. Facing the simple truth, she admitted to herself that she was
attracted to him. He seemed to be interested in her as well but how could
that be? She was nothing special.  

What was she going to do? She didn't want to be hurt, but knew that any
relationship had the potential to cause pain--even her relationships with
her brothers were painful at times! 

She collected the last of the finals and took them to her office. It was
such a luxury to have her own office after sharing one with four other
students. She sat at her desk and stared out the window to the snow-capped
mountains in the distance. Eyes the color of glacial ice in a face that
sent shivers up and down her spine occupied her thoughts. How could one
man be so devastatingly handsome? Even Janice, the department secretary,
had commented on Ben's good looks. More than commented, she positively
drooled as she pumped Phil for information on her visitor. Phil shook her
head. If Ben had stopped by to see her yesterday, then why had she not
seen him? He must have come after she had left to pick up TJ.  

'I wonder what he wanted?' she mused. It must have been important enough
for him to stop by her place early this morning. Thinking of breakfast
with her brother and Ben, Phil shook her head. Ben hadn't acted like he
had something important on his mind. 

Mentally shaking herself, Phil drew herself back to the job at hand. She
graded the exams and computed grade averages for the students. With the
grade sheets turned into Janice, her commitment for that semester was
concluded. She could devote her summer to her other interests. She would
return to her job at RMR where she was the backup pilot for the rescue
chopper. She had also agreed to supervise the RMR trainee, but now that
she had met Ben, she knew that the job would be more complicated than she
had originally supposed.  

'Nonsense,' she told herself, 'he's just another guy. When summer's over,
he'll be gone.' At least, she could gain a friend. Why worry about
something that had no chance of occurring anyway?  

With some trepidation, Phil headed home. Entering the house, Phil found a
note to her from TJ:  

Gone with Ben, be back later. -TJ-  

'I wonder what they're up to?' she mused. 'Well, I'm not going to hang
around and wait for him.' She wrote her own note:  

TJ--Gone to the Point--Love  

Phil grabbed her camera, a book of short stories, and headed down the
trail from her house that, eventually, led to the river. Instead of
following the trail past the lake, she turned in the other direction and
began climbing the slope to a rock outcrop that overlooked the valley and
the river below. * * * 

TJ read the note and handed it to Ben. "The Point is Flip's 'secret'
place. She goes there when she has problems to resolve." 

Ben was disappointed. He had expected to see Phil and perhaps talk to her.
"I guess, I'll be going then." 

TJ caught Ben's arm as he turned to go. "That's the coward's way out..." *
* * 

Phil read several stories in her book. She finished Robert Service's poem
'The Cremation of Sam McGee' then removed her glasses and laid them on the
book. She massaged the bridge of her nose. She hated breaking in new
glasses. She was not yet used to the replacement pair for the ones lost in
Thunder Basin. 

She stood and stretched and moved further out on the rock surface. The
river sparkled far below, the wind whispered through the trees causing the
bright green aspen leaves to flutter. Although the problem of Ben's effect
on her had not been resolved, at this moment in time Phil was at peace
with herself. She knew that that peace would be gone the moment she again
laid eyes on the Mountie. Crossing her arms and tilting her head back, she
closed her eyes and listened to the symphony of nature surrounding her.
She didn't turn when she heard the scrabbling approach of her brother. 

She remained where she was letting TJ come up behind her. "I'm glad you
joined me, TJ." She reached behind her with her good hand, captured his,
and brought his arm around her, pulling his body next to hers. His other
arm crept around her body and hugged her to his lean form. She felt his
breath on her hair and neck. She leaned her head back on his shoulder and
ran her fingers up and down one of the arms that now encircled her. 

"What did you and Ben do today? I hope you weren't too hard on him. He's a
nice guy and I...I think I like him." 

"Actually, it wasn't too bad. He..."  

Phil's eyes widened and her heart began to race. The voice that whispered
in her ear was not TJ's. She tried to pull away from Ben, but he was
prepared. He kept her captured in his arms. 

"Let me go, T. I didn't know it was you!" She struggled but Ben held her
until she stopped. He turned her to face him. 

"If you had known it was me, would you have done the same thing? Grabbed
my arm and pulled me close to you?" 

"No, of course not! You're not one of my brothers, T. Whenever I needed a
hug I didn't have to ask--one of them was always willing to oblige. I
guess, I take it for granted." 

"Well, since one of your brothers is not here and I can guarantee that TJ
is not coming, would you allow me to substitute for one of them?" He tried
to draw her closer to him but Phil was stiff with resistance. "Please,
Phil. Sometimes a man needs a hug, too."  

There was something in his voice that touched her heart. She turned
questioning eyes to his face. Crystal blue eyes smiled down into dark
brown ones. Phil looked deeply into his eyes trying to read what she saw
there. What was this fluttery feeling that coiled within her? She couldn't
possibly have seen what she thought she saw. But what if she had? Did she
want to take a chance on this stranger? What if he hurt her? What if he
didn't? How would she ever know if she didn't take a chance? That was the
crux of the whole affair. Was she willing to take that chance? 

With a sigh she relaxed and allowed herself to be drawn closer to him.
Their bodies touched. Phil ran her good hand across his broad chest and
down his arm; then laid her cheek against that chest and closed her eyes.
She could hear his heart beating. She breathed deeply of his clean,
masculine scent. She felt him stroking her hair, massaging the back of her
neck with one hand while the other moved down her back and drew her even
closer. 

'Well, Phil, do you have any more doubts?' she asked herself. 'What do you
feel now? Don't you want to stay here forever?' There was no denying
it--she had known from the beginning that Ben was trouble. If he wanted
to, he could easily crack the shell she had crawled into so many years
ago. He could banish the emptiness and loneliness she lived with. But he
could also hurt her...and that was what she was most afraid of, being hurt
again. 

She felt his desire for her rising between them. She wasn't prepared for
this. Was he only attracted to her physically? But how could that be? She
knew her own limitations and discounted the idea that Ben could desire
her. Yet, she could feel the evidence of that desire. It frightened her.
She raised her cast-bound hand and used it to push away from Ben. Taking
short, unsteady steps she backed away from him. "Don't play with me, T.
What is it you want from me?" 

Ben looked at Phil as she moved away from him. It had felt so good to hold
her, to have her hold him. It hurt to see her backing away with fear in
her eyes. Why was she afraid of him? He drew in a deep breath to calm his
racing pulse. What did he want? "I don't know, Phil." He took another deep
cleansing breath, "I want to know you better. Something happened between
us last week. No, don't deny it." He saw her shaking her head. "Something
happened...I'm not sure what. But, I do know this...if I don't find out
what it is between us; I'll regret it the rest of my life. Please, Phil,
don't you want to know, too?" 

Phil turned away from him and hugged herself. Did she want to know? She
couldn't deny the 'something' Ben talked about. She felt it, too. "I don't
want to be hurt, T." It came faintly to him. 

He closed the distance between them and placed his hands on her shoulders,
"I don't want to hurt you, Phil." 

She covered one of his hands with her good one. "I know, T. I'm just
afraid I'm going to be hurt no matter what." She turned to him and moved
into his arms. Laying her face on his chest again, he thought he heard,
'I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't.' He stroked her back, letting
her take her time. 

Did she want to know what that 'something' was? Yes, she did. She didn't
want to wonder for the rest of her life if she had made a mistake in not
taking a chance on Ben. 'I may never meet another man like him. He seems
to be interested in me.' She could still feel the hardness of Ben's body,
the evidence of his physical interest. 'Is there more to this than just a
physical desire? I have to know what he's truly feeling and what it is
that I'm feeling.' Finally, she raised her head and looked into his eyes.
"I need to know what that 'something' is, too, Ben," she whispered. 

Relief was mirrored in the eyes that smiled down on her. He cupped her
face in the palms of his hands and bent his head to claim the kiss he knew
she would not refuse him.  

Phil leaned against his chest listening to his heartbeat. The steady beat
helped anchor her soaring emotions. The feelings that kissing this man
produced in her were strong and overwhelming. She had to lean on him just
to remain standing. His strong arms held her close. 

Just holding her in his arms felt good. 'This feels right,' he thought and
a peacefulness settled in his soul. He closed his eyes and laid his cheek
on the top of her head. He breathed in the clean, lavender scent of her
hair.  

They stood together in that embrace for several minutes before Phil raised
her head to look into Ben's face. "Do you have any idea what you are
setting yourself up for?" She shuddered. "I wouldn't want to be in your
shoes for anything." 

"Why? What do you think is going to happen?" 

"TJ is what's going to happen...to you!" 

Ben chuckled. "I wouldn't worry about TJ. We had a nice long talk today." 


"About what?" 

"Oh, many things: rock climbing, sisters, Paris, the Territories, Phil's
Falls, you..." His thumb caressed her lower lip. "How do you think I found
my way up here?" 

"Some innate Mountie sense of direction?" 

"No, Silly...TJ gave me directions. In fact, he quite literally pushed me
out the door and sent me here to find you." 

"He did?" 

"He did." 

She shook her head. "I'm going to have to talk to him. He's being
downright derelict in his duty towards me." 

"Just what does that mean?" 

"He's supposed to protect me from T's like you." 

"T's? What are T's and why do you call me T? You've called me Fraser and
Ben, which I can understand. But, T? Why T?" 

"Because you're Trouble with a capital T." 

"T stands for trouble?" 

"Well, you didn't think it stood for tall, tan, and terrific did you?" 

His chuckle rumbled deep in his chest. "I guess it's better than timorous,
tawdry, and trite." 

"Or tepid, tedious, and tiresome?" 

"Enough, enough already. I get the message." He raised his hands in
surrender. "Trouble?" There was inquiry written all over his face. 

"Most definitely, Ben. You're more trouble than..." 

"...I'm worth." 

"That's not what I was going to say." 

"What were you going to say?" 

A sly smile curved her lips. Seeing her crooked smile, Ben dipped his head
and planted a quick kiss on her lips.  

Startled, Phil jerked back. "What was that for?" 

"I love your smile, Phil. It, uh...it makes me want to kiss you." Ben
pulled Phil close to his body again. He couldn't tell her just what her
smile did to him. Not yet, at least. But maybe, someday... 

It felt so good...so right. It was a relief not to deny her feelings...to
be able to fully relax in a man's presence...to not hold back. To simply
hold Ben and feel his arms about her...to thrill in the sensations his
hands generated...to feel the security that hearing his heartbeat
provided...to be at peace with herself. To know that it was Phil McKenzie
that this man was interested in. 'Is this love?' she wondered. 

An insistent thought intruded on her peace. 'He will leave you, then what
will you do?' She answered the thought, 'I'll have the memories of a great
friendship. One that I know will last. When he leaves...I'll deal with
that then but, no matter what, I'll have these memories.' With that she
banished those thoughts to a dark corner of her mind. 

"What are you thinking?" His voice was soft on her hair. 

"Nothing of importance, T. Just something I'll have to deal with later." *
* * 

"Well?" 

"Well what?" 

"What happened?" 

"What happened where? 

"You are impossible, Flip. You know what I mean. What happened with Ben?" 

"Oh. We talked a bit and admired the view. You know how spectacular it is
from the Point." 

"Arrgh...PHILIPPE HENRY SHERIDAN MCKENZIE, if you don't stop fencing with
me this instant and give me a straight answer, I'll..I'll..." 

"You'll what? I'm not a little girl anymore and you can't bully me like
you used to, Thomas Jonathan Jackson McKenzie!" 

TJ realized his bluff had been called. Giving in, he relented, "I just
wanted to know if you two got some things straightened out. He's the one
that put that glow in you eyes, Flip, even though you deny it. He wants to
get to know you better and I gave him the go ahead." 

"Thank you, TJ. I'm glad you like him." 

"What's not to like? He's a good man. So, tell me, what happened?" 

"Nothing happened. We've agreed that we want to get to know each other
better. Then he leaves and goes back to Canada and I stay here. So,
nothing changes..." 

"Except you end up with a broken heart. Flip..." 

"No, TJ. I did this with my eyes wide open. I know what's coming. Look at
it this way, Ben and I are building a friendship that will last no matter
what else happens. It's 

not everyday you meet and get to know your best friend."  

"So, Ben's your best friend? Nothing more?" 

"I have the feeling that Ben could be my best friend. If he becomes more
than that, then I will be truly blessed, but I am not counting on it." 

TJ gave her a gentle smile. "Do you remember what you once told me about
marriage?" 

A puzzled look crossed Phil's face, "No, not really." 

"You told me that your idea of a perfect marriage would be to marry your
best friend."  

Phil could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks. "Is that how you feel
about Noelle?" 

TJ gave her a considering look. "You know, I've never thought of her as my
best friend. But, yes, I would call her that." 

"I'm so glad for you, TJ." 

He gathered her into his arms. "I'm lucky." 

"How so?" 

"I have two wonderful women as my best friends. You will always be my
'first' best friend." 

Phil laughed. "Just as you will always be mine. I love you, TJ." 

  

To be continued (?) 

Copyright November 1996 by SL Haas 

Revised April 1999 

Comments are welcome at durango@ionet.net 

  

Fraser's Secret (Book 1)  On a Collision Course Nocturnal Duet Jumping to
Conclusions "In the Kiss of One Girl" Real Conversations Icnites,
Montmorillonite, and Bentonite, Oh My! An Acquired Taste "...a Dish Best
Served Cold" Like Thunder When It Rains Steppingstones The First
Consciousness An Answered Dream Since We Parted The Fine Line That
Separates Moments of Regret Benton's Secret