Perfect    Perfect by Jazzy

 Author's disclaimer: They're mine now. I'm not giving them back. But they
originated elsewhere, so I make no claims to the rights - just to the
entertainment value. :-)

 Author's notes: Comments desired - if you like it, it encourages more,
and if you don't... well, it's something for me to work on. ;-)

  

 Disclaimers: Fraser and Ray belong to Alliance, I'm just borrowing them
for my own amusement. I'll put them back when I'm done, but that may be a
long, long... long while yet. :-) 

 Many thanks to Amy for beta-reading and catching those pesky little
inconsistencies. 

 Important Note: I decided to give Fraser an apartment because I wanted
him to have one. This is before CotW but at no particular spot in Season
3, and I haven't messed with any other canon... yet. I do like the old
Ray, but I adore Callum Keith Rennie... so, this is a Fraser/Kowalski
slash story. If that bothers you for any reason, you have my sympathy. I
personally swing both Rays. :-) 

 Any comments, good or bad, can be sent to me at jazzy_mf@hotmail.com. I'd
love to hear what y'all think. :-) 

 Rating: R 

 

 Perfect
 by Jazzy 

 "I mean, what does she think? Cops got nothing better to do than waste
their time on bullshit like this?" Constable Benton Fraser sat quietly as
his partner, Ray Kowalski, ranted about the short venture that had taken
them to the apartment complex of an older woman who'd had a complaint
about a domestic disturbance. Ray and Fraser had been on their way out of
the station when Lieutenant Welsh had asked them to make the stop and see
about the call. Grumbling the whole way, Ray nonetheless agreed when his
sympathetic nature got the better of him. Though he would never admit to
it, the detective had a soft spot for anyone in need and would go out of
his way to help whenever necessary. 

 Unfortunately, the call had turned out to be nothing more than an old
busybody who was bothered by the young pre-teens playing too loudly next
door. While Ray remained silent off to the side, Fraser worked his magic,
effectively charming the kids into quieting down while reassuring the old
lady that they were just being a little rambunctious and meant no harm.
Now Ray was driving Fraser home for the evening, and working himself into
quite a temper at the imposition on their time. 

 "People gettin' murdered every day in this city, banks and stores bein'
robbed, people kidnapped. And she wants us to baby-sit the neighbors'
kids. I coulda been kickin' back with a beer by now..." Fraser allowed the
detective to carry out his tirade, casting surreptitious glances at him
every so often. While it was true that Ray was a high-strung individual,
prone to restlessness and a bit of temper, this was a little over the top
even for him. 

 Fraser had been sure that something was bothering the detective for some
time, noting the increasing bouts of anger and seeming discontent that was
plaguing his friend. In spite of the rocky start to their partnership,
they had developed a close friendship over time, but whatever was on Ray's
mind was also closing him off to the Mountie, and Fraser wasn't sure how
to approach the topic without upsetting Ray. 

 They reached Fraser's new building, and before stepping out of the car,
Fraser took a deep breath. "Ray," he began somewhat hesitantly, "Would you
like to come up for a bit? I'd like to speak with you if you have a
moment." 

 Sky blue eyes studied him for a moment, obviously trying to decide what
it was he wanted to talk about, before the detective finally answered,
"Sure. Yeah, okay." 

 The two men entered the apartment with Fraser's wolf Diefenbaker
following behind. Heading for the fridge and glancing inside, Ray grabbed
one of the beers he'd begun stowing there, since Fraser never drank and
he'd learned to bring his own if he wanted any. Feeling a nudging at his
leg, he glanced down at the wolf. "You lookin' for some candy, Dief?"
Diefenbaker whined back at him. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the
last bite of a chocolate bar from lunch and let the wolf have it. "Just
don't tell Fraze I'm feeding you, okay?" he whispered, knowing full well
that Fraser could hear and see everything in the tiny apartment. 

 With a sigh, Ray moved over to sit down on the edge of the bed, glancing
around absently. He'd only been there a couple of times since Fraser had
finally found an apartment to replace the one that burned, and he was
always amused at the Spartan-style furnishing and appearance. The bed was
only place even to sit. {Must be a Mountie thing} he thought. He watched
while Fraser removed his red serge and Stetson hat before rolling up his
sleeves and sitting beside the detective. They sat in silence for a
moment. 

 "So..." Ray muttered, taking a swig of his beer. He was beginning to feel
exhausted, and hoped that Fraser would get around to bringing up whatever
this was about so he could get home and try to get some sleep. It was
something he'd been having a hard time doing lately. 

 Fraser cleared his throat and finally decided that the direct approach
would probably be best. "Ray, it seems to me that something has been
bothering you the last few weeks. You seem more nervous and restless
lately, maybe even slightly depressed, and you've been losing your temper
on our cases more than usual -" 

 "Fraser, thanks, but I don't need you listing off all my faults right
now. What's your point?" Ray cut him off. 

 Fraser came straight out with it. "I'm worried about you. Are you all
right, Ray?" 

 Ray stood up, fidgeting already. "I'm fine, Fraze. I don't know what
you're worried about, but I'm fine." 

 Fraser looked up at the slender man standing before him, taking in the
shadows under the blue eyes, unshaven jaw; the general exhaustion was
evident in his features. Ray was not conventionally handsome, but the
angular features, spiky blond hair, twinkling blue eyes and slim but
strong body made him incredibly sexy in Fraser's eyes. He hated to see the
usually strong and energetic detective as haggard as he was now. 

 "Ray." He said very softly, reaching up to lay a staying hand on the
other man's arm. "I want you to talk to me. Please." 

 Ray looked down at the strong hand on his arm, then up into the deep blue
of Fraser's eyes. He'd never been able to say 'no' to the Mountie,
especially when he turned those beautiful, caring eyes on him like that.
He wasn't used to the kind of concern Fraser showed for him all the time,
and it unnerved him. But then his feelings for Fraser were unnerving
anyway. He found himself really wanting to open up to the other man, but
it was a hard thing for him to do. With a sigh he sat down again next to
Fraser, conscious of the hand that had been on his arm dropping to the bed
behind his back. 

 "I'm just tired, Fraze." It was the best way he knew how to put it, and
he glanced up to see Fraser nodding, with that intent look he would get
when listening closely to someone. Feeling ridiculously gratified that
Fraser was so focused and concerned for him, he took a deep breath and
continued a little more boldly. "It's hard to explain, y'know? It's just,
here I am living this other guy's life. I'm pretending to be him, hanging
out with his friends and his family... I feel like I'm getting comfortable
here." He paused, fumbling for the words, trying to figure out what he
wanted to say. 

 Fraser just nodded, not quite sure yet what the problem was. Ray had come
to fill in for his former partner, Ray Vecchio, who had gone deep under
cover and needed someone to take his place, avoid suspicion while he was
gone. But Fraser had been under the impression that Kowalski considered it
a welcome escape from his own former life. 

 After a moment Ray continued. 

 "It's like, I'm realizing how much I like this life. But this isn't me. I
mean, you and Vecchio were close, right?" Fraser nodded. Ray Vecchio had
become the closest friend he'd ever had, and he still missed the man who
had been gone months now, with no contact. He was startled when Ray's next
question seemed a mirror of his thoughts. "You miss him?" 

 "Yes, I do," he answered simply. 

 "So I started thinkin', what happens when this guy comes back? I'll tell
you what. He takes his life back, and I gotta start all over somewhere
else." 

 "You don't have to leave, Ray -" Fraser began, with his usual overly
literal interpretation. 

 "I know that, Fraser. What I'm sayin' is, everything's gonna change.
You'll go back to bein' his partner, I'll get reassigned... I mean, I got
no problem filling in his job, y'know? But it's like his whole life is
mine now... I guess, I'm just sayin' I don't know where I'm gonna fit
in... where I do fit in anymore. I wanted to start over after Stella and
everything, but now that I'm settled, I don't want to think about doin' it
all over again-" 

 "Ray." Fraser interrupted finally. "I understand. You're having doubts
that seem perfectly natural considering your position. But... why is this
coming up now, if I may ask?" 

 Ray hesitated. This was the hard part. The part he really didn't want to
share. "I dunno, Fraze. I guess it's just been a long week or somethin',"
he hoped Fraser would let it go at that. No such luck, of course. The
Mountie just looked at him in a way that let Ray know he wouldn't leave it
alone. Unable to look Fraser in the eye, he studiously picked at the label
on the beer bottle he still held. 

 Fraser waited patiently for a long moment before Ray began to speak
again, setting down the bottle at last and rubbing his palms nervously on
his thighs. "Fraser... how close were you and Vecchio, exactly?" 

 "I'm not sure what you mean, Ray. We were the closest of friends; we were
partners. You know what that's like." 

 The words tumbled over each other. "No, I mean... were you ever... like,
y'know, together? 'Cause I hear people talk at the station like you two
were inseparable, y'know? And I was just wondering..." 

 Somewhere in the middle of noticing how adorable Ray was when he was
nervous and babbling, Fraser caught on to his meaning. "Ah, I see. No,
Ray, we were never... intimate. Very good friends, but... nothing more." 

 "Did you want to be?" Ray looked up at last into those beautiful blue
eyes and held them. 

 Fraser was quiet a long moment. "I don't know, Ray. To be honest I think
it would have been nice, but it wasn't necessary to our relationship, and
we were both content with the way things were, as best friends." Fraser
paused, trying to keep the desperate hope tugging at his chest from
showing itself to his friend. "Ray, why are you asking me this?" 

 Ray found he couldn't look away from Fraser's intent expression. "If he
comes back, where will I be? What am I to you?" he asked straight out,
startling even himself. Resisting the urge to clamp his hands over his
mouth, he froze, holding his breath... waiting for the answer. 

 "Ray..." Fraser didn't know what to say. For once, he couldn't find the
words. Was this leading where it seemed to be? Even after all his time in
Chicago, he still got confused on certain signals, hidden meanings. What
if he interpreted this all wrong? Taking in Ray's
squirrel-in-the-headlights expression, however, he suddenly felt sure
exactly where this was heading, and he felt a fuzzy, happy sensation
warming his heart and spreading through his entire body. 

 "Ray," he began again, speaking softly, "I don't know if I can begin to
tell you how much you've come to mean to me. You are the single most
important person in my life, and if I had the choice you would remain at
my side as long as you would have me." He leaned minutely closer to the
scruffy-haired detective as he spoke, holding the now suspiciously bright
gaze. One hand reached out to take Ray's and twine their fingers together.


 "No matter what, Fraze? Even if he comes back, and you guys are partners
again?" 

 "Yes, Ray. Regardless of whatever may happen." 

 Ray knew his hand was shaky in the other man's strong grip, could
practically feel his thoughts flipping over each other in his head. {Oh,
god, is this happening? This is happening. Oh god. Wait, I think he's
waiting for me to say something...} But he found a total lack of
intelligent or even sensible comments available to him at that moment. So
he did the only thing he could think of; the only thing he'd really wanted
to do since he'd gotten here... 

 He leaned forward, and kissed his Mountie. 

 

 Whatever Fraser had been hoping for, the feel of Ray's warm lips meeting
his still managed to catch him off guard. Not willing to pass up the
opportunity, however, he returned the pressure, mouth moving gently
against Ray's. Still holding hands, neither made another move beyond the
gentle, loving kiss that now connected them. Deepening the kiss at last,
Fraser slid his tongue along Ray's lips, which opened willingly to accept
him, and he soon felt Ray's tongue sliding wetly and passionately against
his own. 

 Moaning softly into Ray's mouth, he raised his arms and pulled the other
man close, sliding his hands up and down his back, unable suddenly to get
close enough. The kiss was quickly getting out of control, and after a
long moment both men pulled back slightly to gasp for breath. Staring at
each other with a mixture of surprise and passion, Ray only muttered
"Jesus..." before pulling Fraser back to him. 

 Laying Ray back on the bed, Fraser shifted to stretch out over him, their
whole bodies touching. Pulling him as close as possible, Fraser continued
to probe his partner's mouth, content for the moment to just lay with him
and enjoy their newly-admitted attraction. After a while, he felt Ray's
hands moving up to his front to work at the buttons on his shirt. Shifting
back slightly, he allowed his hands to slide up underneath Ray's shirt,
splaying across the smooth chest, finding a nipple and rubbing gently. He
felt Ray slipping his own shirt from his shoulders, and released his mouth
to tug the other man's shirt completely off. 

 Taking a moment, both men stopped and studied each other: one with dark
hair, a solidly muscled body, the other paler, blond, with a slight but
strong build; both men thinking how beautiful the other was. 

 "Ray, Ray." Fraser breathed, settling his weight again on top of his
partner. He felt the other man raise a knee, cradling the leg that the
Mountie slipped between his thighs. Rubbing gently against Ray's groin,
Fraser dropped his lips to nip and suck at his neck, lingering on the
sensitive spot he found under his ear lobe. 

 "God, Fraze..." Ray gasped and arched up against him, hands skimming
restlessly over the bare skin of his back before dropping to knead the
man's firm ass as they rubbed against each other. It was Fraser's turn to
gasp, and Ray took advantage of his distraction to flip them so that
Fraser was on his back now. 

 Straddling the man beneath him, Ray quickly leaned down to devour the
Mountie's mouth hungrily, before moving over his neck and sliding down the
smooth chest to tease the erect nipples with his tongue. Fraser arched
into the hot mouth that was now tormenting him, sliding one hand into the
tousled blond hair. Ray's hands moved to fumble with Fraser's pants before
reaching down to remove the Mountie's boots and slide the pants off,
leaving Fraser only in his boxers. Dragging his tongue up the other man's
inner thigh, Ray paused to nip and suck just below the hem of his boxer
shorts, and let his hands slide up under the cloth to cup Fraser's ass. 

 With a moan, Fraser reached down and grabbed at Ray, pulling him up to
ravish his mouth in a fervent kiss once more. Flipping their positions
again, he quickly divested Ray of his jeans and shoes, surprised and
unfathomably pleased to see that Ray wore no underwear. Rising quickly to
remove his own boxers, he lay back down and let his hands roam over the
slender man's body while busying his mouth on his chest and nipples.
Working his way down, he tongued Ray's belly and the sparse hair he found
there. Ray's muscles tightened and he began undulating under Fraser, his
hot, swollen cock begging for attention as inarticulate moans poured from
his mouth. 

 At last reaching Ray's hard length, Fraser slowly slid his tongue from
the base to the tip, feeling Ray jerk beneath him. "Oh, God, Fraze...
please!" Ray choked out. Teasing his lips and tongue around the head
Fraser continued to torment him until he was leaking steadily, thrusting
upward in a plea for a rhythm that would bring him off at last. Fraser
took just the head into his mouth, applying suction and teasing the slit
with his tongue, while grasping the base of Ray's cock and pumping slowly.
When he felt Ray's balls begin to tighten and knew he was close, he
released him and slid back up face-to-face with his partner. 

 "Fraser...?" Ray looked so beautifully rumpled, eyes glazed with desire
and lips still red from the punishment they'd received earlier. 

 "Like this, Ray," Fraser murmured, settling himself against Ray, who
spread his legs to cradle the Mountie against him. Both men gasped as
their erections came into contact, slicking each other with pre-come and
sweat. Instinct took over and they began rocking together, holding each
other close so that the friction of chests and groins quickly built to a
frenzied thrusting. 

 "Ray, Ray, Ray..." Fraser panted into the detective's ear, as he felt his
climax building and with a final thrust was coming all over their chests.
Ray quickly followed, legs tightening around the Mountie and coming with a
long, low moan muffled against the other man's neck. 

 For a long time they just lay there, exhausted but sated - neither
willing to move from the comfortable embrace. Finally Fraser began to pull
away reluctantly. "I suppose we should clean up before this becomes too
sticky..." 

 Ray couldn't help it - he burst out laughing. "Jesus Fraze, and I thought
you would be the romantic one." 

 The Mountie blushed adorably. "I'm sorry, Ray, I just -" 

 "S'okay, Fraze, I was just kidding." Ray dragged him back down for a
kiss, and Fraser was glad for the bit of levity. He was fairly confident
that if Ray could laugh now, everything would be fine. 

 Pulling back again, he looked seriously into Ray's eyes. Raising a hand
and running his fingertips lightly over Ray's lips, he whispered softly,
"I love you, Ray." 

 "I love you too, Fraze." With a swift kiss, he finally moved to sit up,
grinning at Fraser. "But we do need to clean up. Wanna share a shower?" 

 Fraser smiled back at him. Oh, yes, everything was going to be perfect,
he was certain. 

 

 End