Realizations      Realizations  

By: Tara Semperger 

"Damn it, don't you give up on me!!" Benton gently cursed to himself as he
knelt beside Meg's unconcious body laying in the snow. 

Meg had needed to clear her mind. To sort out the feelings that she was
feeling for her subordinate. Lately she had been re-playing the precious
moments she had spent in his arms on top of the train filled with
unconcious Mounties. So she had set out on a small hike yesterday, only
she hadn't been expecting the storm and the danger that lay waiting for
her in the new snow. Her thoughts had been on Fraser and she had missed
seeing the edge of the trap poking out of the snow. In seconds it had
snapped shut onto her leg, crushing the bone, and sending waves of
excrutiating pain up and down her body. Perhaps it was adrenaline or just
sheer luck, but she had managed to pry those jaws off her leg and pull her
leg out of the trap. She was injured and alone, and then everything
started to go black ... 

Meg moaned softly as Fraser gently removed the boot from her injured leg.
Then he took his knife and gently removed the fabric from her leg. Using
branches from a nearby tree and the lanyard from around his neck Fraser
applied a splint to her leg. When he was finished, Fraser effortlessly
picked up Meg's body and began walking to a very familiar place, his
father's cabin. 

Warmth, strong arms around her. Thatcher slowly regained conciousness as
Fraser sat beside her holding her tenderly. She felt safe, secure ... not
wanting to open her eyes for fear that those feelings would be lost. Lying
in the snow had allowed water to seep into Thatcher's clothing, she was
thoroughly soaking wet. She had survived so far, and unwilling to let her
die of hypothermia, Fraser had removed her waterlogged clothing and placed
his own shirt around her shivering shoulders. He spent the next several
hours just holding her close to him for warmth and gently singing to her.
It was a pleasant sound, very reassuring and Meg slept soundly for the
first time in weeks. 

"Inspector?" 

Fraser was kneeling by her as Thatcher opened her eyes for the first time
since Fraser had found her. As she looked around at her surroudings, and
at her subordinate she didn't quite know what to make of things. 

"Are you hungry?" Fraser was asking her as he handed her a bowl of soup. 

"Yes, starving", Meg said and accepted the offering from Fraser, pulling
herself up into a sitting position with the bed roll tucked under her
arms. "Constable just what is going on here?" Meg managed to say as she
quickly ate her soup. She was referring to the fact that she was nearly
naked inside of her subordinate's bed roll of course. 

Fraser didn't show his usual timidness when he spoke this time. "You were
injured, Inspector. You needed help." 

"Constable you wouldn't ... I mean we didn't ..." Meg kept trailing off as
she looked into Benton's eyes, but she immediately had to turn her head
when she saw the pain expressed in Ben's face. 

"Sir, I would never ...," 

"No I suppose you wouldn't." Meg cut him off in mid sentence. He was a
good man, and loyal too. She would kick herself later for this she was
sure of it. 

The next few moments were filled with an awkward silence as Meg and Ben
finished their soup. "Constable, where are we?" 

"This was my father's cabin, sir ... I come here whenever I'm back in
Canada. It's very peaceful." 

"Yes, it is" Meg replied. 

"Your clothing is dry now and if I may ask sir, how are you feeling now?
Do you think that you can travel?" Thatcher was amazed at the level of
concern that Fraser's voice showed as she took her clothes from his hand
and slipped into them gingerly. 

"I'm ... sore." Thatcher said at first. "But your plans are fine with me
Constable - when do you want to start back?" With that Meg stood to her
feet only to have her injured leg betray her. 

Fraser had to move quickly but he caught Meg before she slammed into the
wall and gently lowered her back to the ground. "Perhaps we should wait
until tomorrow to head back sir." 

"I think you're right Fraser." Her frustation was evident as Fraser helped
her back to the ground and into a sitting position. Infuriated with her
inability to control herself, Meg heard herself snap at Fraser. 

"I'm not an invalid Constable, I can do this myself you know!" 

"Understood, sir." That was all Fraser could manage to say as he sat down
across from her. 

Like a cancer cell growing to envelop someone's body, the silence in the
room was becoming overwhelming and Meg shifted uncomfortably. "Constable
how did you find me? I mean why would you risk your life going out into
that storm?" 

"Headquarters said you hadn't returned from your hike sir ... I, well I
was concerned." 

Meg looked at Fraser for only a moment, trying to decipher the puzzling
look on his face before saying, "thank you Constable. I don't know how you
found me out there but I'm grateful that you did." 

"Actually sir, finding you was quite easy once I found your tracks ... " 

As Fraser continued with his monologue Thatcher realized just how tired
she actually was, her muscles ached and so did her leg. Reaching her hands
up to her shoulders Thatcher tried, with no success, to rub the tension
out of her shoulders and her eyes closed in silent frustration. 

"Sir?" Meg heard Fraser say softly as she dealt with her discomfort. "Do
you trust me?" 

Opening her eyes to look at Fraser, she was greeted by an intense gaze.
"Yes Fraser I do trust you." I'll be dammed she thought to herself as the
words left her mouth, she actually did trust this man completely. 

Then she felt Fraser gently take her hands and lower them back to her lap.
As he massaged her shoulders for her Thatcher felt the tension slowly
leave her body. Hesitantly she rested her head against his shoulder and
her breathing begin to slow until she was sleeping soundly while Benton
watched over her. 

The smell of food the next morning shook Meg out of her dreams. Fraser was
standing near here with a plate of steaming food. "Here you go sir, you're
going to need your energy. Your leg looks a lot better than it did a day
ago, and the storm has passed. I think that we'll be able to make it back
to headquarters today if you're up to travelling." 

Gratefully accepting the food Fraser was handing to her Meg said, "I am
feeling better Fraser, we should probably start out soon if we're going to
make it back before the sun sets." 

Fraser had already prepared his pack, when Meg finally worked her way out
of the bed roll for Fraser to attach it to the bottom of the pack. "This
might help sir." Fraser told her as he handed her a long, sturdy walking
stick that he had cut this morning. 

Grasping the stick Thatcher and Fraser once again set out into the
wilderness. After only a short time the terrain became almost sheer ice.
Unaccustomed to the walking stick Meg stumbled and would have fallen head
first into the ice if Fraser hadn't caught her. At first he didn't let her
up, only stared at her. "Thanks." Meg said and Fraser snapped his thoughts
back to the present again as he let her up. 

After 5 or 6 hours of straight walking Fraser looked over at his superior
officer to see her chest rising and falling rather forcefully, she was
tiring. Meg knew that her body was in pain and that she could use a short
rest but she didn't want Fraser to think that she couldn't handle this so
she said nothing. "Sir, could we stop for a moment? I just need to catch
my breath." Fraser suddenly said. 

Like hell, Thatcher thought, you haven't even broken a sweat yet but she
was so grateful for the chance to rest. Lowering herself down onto a
nearby rock Thatcher found herself staring at Fraser. "Constable, I
appreciate this. I appreciate you. All of your help that is ... I didn't
know if I was strong enough to get through this." Thatcher couldn't stop
herself from rambling on. 

The look in Fraser's eyes said more then he wanted it to as he spoke,
"sir, you are one of the strongest people that I know ... you just needed
to trust and rely on someone else this time." He started to say something
else but he trailed off quickly. 

"Constable I want you to be able to speak freely with me, what is it?" Meg
said waiting with baited breath for his answer. 

Lifting his eyes to look at her Ben reached out tenderly and caressed the
side of her face. The gentleness of the touch surprised Meg and she tilted
her face into his caress. When she opened her eyes again Fraser's face was
inches away from her own and she knew what was being asked of her as she
silently nodded her head. Needing no other permission Fraser lowered his
head to hers and kissed her gently. 

After sitting a few minutes longer the pair resumed their journey in
silence until Meg finally spoke up. "Constable, Fraser ...," looking
straight into his eyes she trailed off for only a moment before continuing
softly, "Benton - I know what I said before, I was confused, at the time
it seemed like the right thing to say but now things are different."
Having finally spoken her heart to him she slowly brought herself to look
at him again. She didn't look like his superior officer anymore, there was
a softness in her eyes. When he didn't say anything Meg got a little
nervous ... had she misjudged the emotion between them. 

After a few minutes, only they seemed like hours to Meg, Fraser finally
looked at her and smiled. "Understood, Margaret." It was the first time
that he had ever dared call her by her first name. With that he reached
out and covered her hand with his and they continued on. 

The RCMP Headquarters building loomed on the horizon as Fraser and
Thatcher climbed one final hill. The pain in Thatcher's leg had now grown
quite intense again and she limped tentatively towards the door. Then in
one fluid movement Fraser had picked her up and was carrying her the rest
of the way - she offered no resistance to him. Carrying her inside the
building Fraser instinctively followed a series of hallways down to a
large infirmary. The on-duty doctor came over and motioned Fraser to put
Thatcher down on a nearby bed. Fraser put her down and then was asked to
leave while the doctor examined Thatcher and her leg. 

A short time later Sergeant Michaels approached him in the waiting room.
"The doctor was quite impressed with your handiwork Constable. The
Inspector's leg will heal completely. Good work son." 

Clasping the outstretched hand Fraser replied. "Thank you sir." Then his
superior officer turned and walked back to his office. Fraser made his way
back into the infirmary. Sitting down in a chair beside Meg's bed he
watched her as she slept. The hole in his heart that Victoria had burned
was only a distant memory now as he watched her chest rise and fall gently
- he was finally whole again. 

THE END ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~	

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