Reflections on Ray	 Reflections on Ray by Shannon McKinnon

  

 As I think you all can tell, I am not exactly fond of season 3. However,
I really, really, like Ray Kowalski. This confused me for a long time, but
I have recently decided not to worry about it and just go with the flow.
And what is a Chicago cop without a Mountie of his very own? Not half as
much fun if you ask me! This story assumes that the characters involved
have all come to their senses, returned to Chicago, and are now with the
person they are supposed to be with. Also, the consulate in this story is
the old one, for the simple reason that I think the new consulate is ugly
and depressing. See, I just pick and choose which parts of season 3 to
accept! 

 Neither of the Rays or the Mounties in this story belong to me. They
belong to Alliance, who doesn't deserve them. 

 Rated PG for m/m premise. 

 Comments welcome. ShannonK@webtv.net 

 REFLECTIONS ON RAY 

 Constable Renfield Turnbull sat at his desk, ostensibly filling out
preliminary status reports, which he would then take to Constable Fraser
to review and complete. He was having a hard time concentrating on the
task at hand, however. His mind kept wandering away from his mundane task
to thoughts far more pleasant. He sighed and smiled happily to himself.
How could he honestly be expected to do paperwork when he was a man in
love? 

 Turnbull's smile deepened. He couldn't believe he was actually in love.
Or who he was in love with. Most amazing of all was the fact that the one
he loved actually loved him too. It seemed unlikely, even unbelievable,
but there it was- Ray Kowalski loved him! There had been a time when he
had thought that Ray could never possibly love him. For one thing, he had
still been carrying a torch for his ex-wife. For another, Ray had seemed
rather brusque and harsh, always keeping people at arm's length. 

 But Turnbull knew now that Ray had just been protecting himself, keeping
people at bay so that he wouldn't be hurt again. Turnbull had come to
sense that underneath that rough exterior there was another Ray entirely.
A Ray worth getting to know, and if he just took his time, he could get to
know that Ray. So he had taken it slow and easy, and his patience had been
richly rewarded. Turnbull almost laughed out loud as he remembered that
when he first met Ray, he had actually been afraid of him. He felt many
strong emotions for Ray now, but fear was not among them. 

 Just the sound of his lover's name sent a surge of happiness through him;
and could calm him in times of upset and stress. He whispered the words to
himself now. "Stanley Raymond Kowalski." 

 To Renfield Turnbull, there were no three more beautiful words in the
English language. Unless, of course, the three words were "full body
massage", something else his lover had introduced him to. He smiled in
affectionate exasperation as he remembered what had happened the last time
his lover had indulged him... 

 Ray had insisted that they needed to go shopping for "supplies" first,
and had taken Turnbull to a shop- and a part of town- that Turnbull had
never been to before. He stared at many of the items in the shop in
amazement. He had no idea what two or three of them were even for. Ray saw
him staring at them and grinned. 

 "I'll teach you about those some other time." He whispered. 

 Turnbull was stunned. Did Ray really know what they were? He found
himself suddenly aroused. He wandered over to the underwear section and
wondered whether his lover would look better in red or black leather
briefs. Suddenly he heard Ray's voice from across the store. 

 "Yoo hoo sweetheart!" Turnbull turned to see Ray holding up two bottles.
"Which do you think we should get, lover? The strawberry flavored or the
mint scented?" 

 Renny's mouth dropped open, and he felt his face flaming. He rushed from
the store, giving Ray a dirty look as he passed him. Out on the sidewalk,
Turnbull fumed. How dare Ray embarrass him like that in public?! Ray may
have thought it was funny, but it wasn't. Well, he was not going to
forgive him right away. He wasn't. Ray could give him that adorable grin
of his all he wanted. He was not going to forgive him. 

 Ray came out of the store carrying a brown paper bag, and they got into
the car and drove away in silence. After just a few blocks, Ray cracked.
"Oh, come on, Renny. Don't be mad. It was kinda funny." 

 "No, Ray. It was not funny at all." 

 "All right. I'm sorry." Turnbull sighed and turned his head to stare out
the window. 

 "Oh, come on." Ray said. "Don't you even want to know what I bought?" He
dropped the bag into Turnbull's lap, and almost reluctantly, Renny opened
it. When he saw what was inside, he found that he was willing to forgive
Ray after all. Ray had purchased both bottles. He looked over at his lover
and smiled. Ray smiled back. 

 "That's better, lover," he said, reaching out to squeeze Turnbull's
thigh. "I'll make it up to you when we get home." ... 

 And he had. Ray had been very attentive all night. And most compliant. He
had been very willing to indulge Turnbull's every whim. Maybe there was
something to being embarrassed after all, Renny mused. He shook himself.
He had better get back to those files. Constable Fraser was waiting for
them. 

 He laughed softly to himself as he thought about Fraser's reaction if he
knew that his friend and his co-worker were having an affair. He would
probably be stunned beyond words. And he most certainly would not
understand. 

 Not that he would think it was wrong. Benton Fraser was one of the most
open-minded, least judgmental people Turnbull knew. He would be glad that
his friends had found happiness together, but he would not be able to
truly understand that happiness. Constable Fraser could be
so...straightlaced. 

 Turnbull giggled at his own pun. No, it was better to keep his
relationship with Ray their little secret. But that was OK. It was...
illicit. Exciting. Romantic. With a contented sigh, Turnbull picked up his
pen and turned his attention back to the files. 

 

 Benton Fraser closed the file on his desk and leaned back in his chair.
He stretched his arms over his head and winced slightly as his sore
shoulder twinged. He wondered how big the bruise was now. He grinned. He
would have to have Ray check it out later. And maybe he could get Ray to
administer some TLC, as well. 

 On second thought, maybe he shouldn't mention it to him at all. Ray felt
guilty as it was, although the incident had not been his fault at all.
After all, Ben's bed was not exactly the sturdiest in the world, and he
and Ray had had many vigorous bouts of lovemaking before. It was really
only a matter of time before the bed collapsed. Nevertheless, it had been
a surprise to find himself lying suddenly on the floor, with Ray lying on
top of him... 

 "Oh, my God, Benny, are you OK?" 

 "Yes, I think so, Ray." 

 "Are you sure? I didn't squish anything important, did I?" 

 Ben grinned up at him. "There's only one way to find out for sure, Ray."
He drew Ray down for another kiss. Ray pulled away when he felt Ben
laughing. 

 "Just what exactly is so funny, Fraser?" 

 "We broke my bed, Ray!" He burst into laughter again, Ray joining in. 

 "I've heard of the earth moving, Benny, but this is ridiculous." 

 The two men lay there for a long time, laughing and kissing. Finally, Ben
calmed down somewhat, and began stroking Ray's ass. He looked up at his
lover, all laughter gone from his eyes now. Ray's breath caught in his
throat, and he leaned down for another kiss. 

 Later, while they were setting up the bedroll, Ray told him "Don't worry,
Benny. We'll get you a new bed tomorrow." 

 Ben looked at him thoughtfully. "You're not sorry to see this bed go, are
you?" 

 "Hell no, Benny. The one and only good thing about your apartment burning
down was that your damn bed went with it. But you managed to find the only
other bed in Chicago just as hard and uncomfortable. Well, your new bed is
going to be at least a double. And I get to test out the mattress." 

 "Yes Ray." He tilted his head to the side, regarding his lover. "So, um,
Ray?" 

 "Yeah, Benny?" 

 "How long were you here before I got home tonight?" 

 "About 15 minutes. Why?" 

 "Well, I was just wondering how you passed the time. It seems like more
than enough time to sabotage the bed. You know, loosen a few screws?" 

 Ray looked up, shocked. Then he realized that Fraser was only teasing
him. He smiled slowly. "You know, Benny, when I think of the words 'bed'
and 'screw' together, it's not hardware I'm thinking of." 

 Ben returned the smile, then lay down on the bedroll. But he did not felt
the least bit sleepy; and neither, as it happened, did Ray... 

 In his office, Ben sighed, remembering. He and Ray had made love in his
bed many, many, times. They had even made love next to his bed on
occasion. But never before in his life had he made love lying among the
pieces of his broken bed. 

 Ben glanced at his watch. Ray was due to arrive at any moment. He looked
at his desk in mild despair. He did not have nearly enough files
completed, and Turnbull was ready to give him even more. How was he going
to explain to Turnbull why he was so far behind? 

 He grinned suddenly. Maybe he should tell him the truth. "I'm sorry,
Constable Turnbull, I was not able to complete my files. I was in my
office having sexual fantasies about Ray Vecchio. I'm madly in love with
him, and he with me. We're lovers." 

 Turnbull would probably faint dead away. Turnbull was so... sheltered. He
was a very good Constable, and he was rapidly loosing his clumsiness as
his confidence grew. But he was still very innocent in some ways. 

 If he found out that Fraser, not to mention the macho Italian Detective,
was gay, he would be stunned beyond words. Ben smiled fondly. It was best
to keep his relationship with Ray under wraps. At least for now. 

 Taking a deep breath, he stood up and left his office. He felt a mild
twinge of guilt as he noticed that Turnbull was hard at work at his desk. 

 "I can take your completed files now, Turnbull." He told the younger
Constable. 

 Turnbull looked up, and Ben saw a strange look briefly cross his face.
"Of course, Sir. I'm afraid I didn't get as many done as I should have." 

 "That's all right, Turnbull." Fraser said, an odd sense of relief
flooding him. "These files are more time-consuming then they would at
first appear." 

 "Yes," Turnbull was quick to agree, "they are." 

 Suddenly two familiar voices could be heard drifting up the stairs, and
both Mounties' faces lit up like Christmas trees. 

 "... well, that's a very interesting observation, Stanley. Keep up the
good work, and who knows? Maybe one day you'll be a Detective." 

 "Yeah. And you keep up the wise-ass remarks, Vecchio, and you can be a
comedian after they kick your sorry butt off the force." 

 The two Canadians grinned as they overheard the conversation. The
bantering between the two Detectives had lost all of its earlier
hostility, and was now performed as a matter of habit. It was- although
neither man would ever admit it- a game they both enjoyed. 

 "Hello, Ray. Ray." Ben greeted them as they entered the room. 

 "Hey, Benny." Ray Vecchio said, a smile lighting up his face. 

 "Hello Detectives." Turnbull chimed in. 

 "What are you doing here, Ray?" Ben asked Kowalski. 

 "Why, thanks, Benton buddy. It's good to see you too." 

 "No, I didn't mean that." Ben said quickly, flushing slightly. "I just
wasn't expecting to see you." 

 "I know. I'm here to see Turnbull." 

 "Oh?" 

 Turnbull tensed slightly. 

 "Yes." Ray replied smoothly. "He's going to teach me about curling." 

 Ben and Ray Vecchio looked at him in disbelief. 

 "Ever since that time I was hiding out here and was forced to watch those
curling games, Turnbull goes on and on about what a great game it is, and
how I don't know what I'm missing. So I figured what the hell. At the very
least it will shut him up." 

 He looked at Turnbull, and Renny could see a devilish glint in his
lover's eyes. 

 "Yes." Turnbull said. "I'm trying to teach Detective Kowalski all I can
about Canadians." 

 He stole a glance at Ray, and the look on Kowalski's face had changed. He
now looked surprised- and impressed. Turnbull looked away again, his face
impassive. 

 Vecchio turned to Kowalski. "You're actually going to spend your evening
watching grown men sweep ice? Have fun boys. Come on, Benny." He started
from the room. 

 "So, what are you doing tonight, Vecchio?" Ray called after them. 

 "I told Fraser I'd take him shopping." Vecchio replied; and Ben's steps
faltered slightly. 

 "Ooooh, grocery shopping?" Cooed Kowalski. "How cute." 

 "Actually," Ben answered, "I need a few things for my new apartment." It
was Ray's turn to miss a few steps. 

 "Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Have a nice evening boys." Kowalski said. 

 "Goodnight, Gentlemen." Turnbull added. 

 Ray stopped Ben halfway down the stairs. "You're learning, Benny." He
said approvingly. 

 "Learning what, Ray?" 

 "Oh, no you don't Benny. Don't pull that innocent Mountie act with me. I
don't believe it any more." Ben grinned at him and gave him a quick kiss. 

 Ray lowered his voice. "Speaking of acting innocent, what exactly is
going on between Kowalski and Turnbull?" 

 "What do you mean, Ray?" Ray just looked at him. "Oh, please." 

 "Oh, come on, Fraser. You really think Stan the man is here to watch a
curling match?" 

 "Yes Ray." 

 "OK Benny. Sure." He started back down the stairs. 

 Ben turned to glance behind him. Could it be? Ray and Turnbull? Naaah.
Ben hurried to catch up with his lover. 

 

 Up at Turnbull's desk, Ray was still staring after the departed couple. 

 "Ray?" Questioned Renny. 

 "So, lover, what exactly is the story between those two, do you think?" 

 "Constable Fraser and Detective Vecchio? They're just friends, Ray." 

 "Mmm-hmm. Just friends who happen to spend every waking moment together."


 "Oh, come on. You really don't think... oh, come on." 

 "Well, stranger things have happened, Renny. Like us, for example." 

 Turnbull smiled at him happily. Ray smiled back, then gave him a thorough
kiss. 

 "Come on, Renny. Let's go home so you can teach me some more about
Canadians." 

 The End