All Due South characters belong to Alliance. This story is a sequel to my
first ever slash story, A Matter of Trust, but it can stand on its own.  

Rated NC-17 for m/m sexual interaction.  

Thank you, Sylvie, for betaing so quickly and thoroughly, and to Linda,
for all your encouragement and support. 

Constructive feedback is always appreciated Albertacr@home.com	 Secrets
by Alberta 

Fraser has to work late tonight. The Ice Queen has him making nice with
some visiting dictators, um, dignitaries. I'm not happy about this, it's
the first night in weeks we won't be spending together. I told him to come
by my place when he's done, but he said it would be pretty late, so he's
planning to sack out tonight on his cot-for-one, which, we found out on a
few occasions, can accommodate two in a pinch. I start grinning at that
mental picture, and I lean back in my chair, close my eyes and start
imagining Fraser's.... Shit, my phone starts ringing. I grab it quick,
could be Fraser. 

"Vecchio." 

"Hello, Ray." 

 Bingo. 

 "Hey, Frase. What's going on?"  

"Well, for the moment it's quiet. However, guests will be arriving shortly
so I thought I'd take the opportunity to call you now."  

"Maybe after you're done with the dipsticks, you could come over," I say,
trying again. I hate the idea of sleeping alone. 

"Diplomats, Ray. And, as I said earlier, it's going to be a late evening,
so it would be best if I remained here for the night." He doesn't sound
very happy about it either; I like that. 

"Okay, then how 'bout I sneak in and wait for you in your office." I wait
for him to answer. Hmm, maybe he likes that idea and he's thinking it
over. 

"While that is a very tempting offer, Ray, I'm afraid we'll just have to
bite the bullet and forego seeing each other this evening."  

"I'd rather bite you, Frase." I hear him take a deep breath. "If you can
get away for a few minutes call me at home tonight," I say. 

"Do you have any plans?" he asks.  

"Yeah. Since you're otherwise engaged, I figure I'd take Turnbull out to
dinner and then bring him back to my place so I can ravage his body....." 

"Ray...." he interrupts. I start to laugh. 

"You don't have to be jealous, Frase, I was only kidding."  

"I'm not jealous, Ray. Turnbull will be here at the Consulate this
evening, so you'll have to ravage someone else's body."  

"You're a funny guy," I say. "Just make sure you call me."  

"I'll try, Ray. Have a good night." 

"Yeah, you too, Frase." I hang up. It's gonna be a lousy night. The phone
rings; Fraser again? Oh yeah, my Mountie can't get enough of me. I answer.


"Vecchio." 

"Ray?" Nice voice, but it ain't Fraser's. Sounds familiar though.  

"Yeah, this is Ray. Who's this?"  

"It's Jarrod." 

Holy shit. It's Fraser's uh, friend, sort of. What the hell could he want?
The last time I saw him he was trying to mess things up between me and
Frase. 

"What do you want, Jarrod?" I'm purposely being rude; he doesn't deserve
nice. 

"I understand why you're angry, Ray, you have every right to be. I'm
calling to say I'm sorry; there's no excuse for the way I treated you.
It's been on my mind constantly these past few weeks, so I told myself the
next time I was in town, I would apologize."  

"So, I guess you're in town," I say. My powers of deduction are fucking
great. 

"Yes, I arrived this morning, and I was thinking, maybe I can buy you a
drink this evening. I'd really like to make it up to you," he says.  

"Um, well, I'm not sure....." I'm stalling. I really don't feel
comfortable seeing him after what happened the last time. I mean, Fraser
and I had a pretty big argument 'cause of Jarrod, and then he had the
fucking nerve to hit on me. But he did just apologize, and it's either
have a drink with him or sit home and watch dumb cop shows on the tube
tonight. I'm just not sure I can trust this guy. Why didn't he call
Fraser.... 

"I called Ben and he told me he's working late tonight, otherwise, I
could've met both of you for a drink," he says. 

Okay, so he did call Fraser, so maybe he is being sincere. And it's only
one drink...or two; I guess it couldn't hurt spending some time with him,
being he's an old friend of Fraser's and all. And it would be nice sitting
across from that face all evening. Hey, I can look at the menu, I just
can't sample the food. 

"Yeah, okay, Jarrod. Where should I meet you?" 

"My hotel has a very nice bar in the lobby," he says. "Why don't we meet
there? It's the Carlisle, the same hotel I stayed in before." 

"Okay. So I'll see you around......" 

"How about eight o'clock?" he says.  

"Eight o'clock. Good, see ya then." I hang up the phone. 

So, Fraser's friend is trying to make nice. That's good. I never told
Fraser how Jarrod hit on me the last time he was here, and it bothered me
'cause I don't like keeping secrets from Fraser. But this was different;
if I told him, he would've really been upset. Yeah, I know I should've
told him that I went to see Jarrod in the first place. I remember how
pissed I got when he didn't tell me he was in Jarrod's hotel room. I even
accused him of lying to me, and then I went and did the same thing, but
not this time; I plan on telling him everything. So I pick up the phone to
call him, but then I remember he said the guests would be arriving soon. I
decide to tell him tomorrow morning when I pick him up at the Consulate.  

******************** 

I walk into the bar and scan the room for Jarrod; he was right, this is a
nice place. I look down at what I'm wearing; I suppose I could've gone
home first and changed. Checking out the people here I see guys wearing
suits and nice jackets, and I'm wearing this old black t-shirt and jeans.
Fuck'em, this is what I wear. I look up to see Jarrod walking towards me,
and he looks even better than I remembered. He's wearing jeans and a white
button down shirt, not exactly like me, but close enough. He's smiling, so
I smile back. 

"Ray, it's good to see you." He's holding out his hand, so I reach out and
shake it. 

"Hey, Jarrod, how ya been?" I don't know how he's feeling right now, but I
feel kind of strange 'cause the last time I saw him I was turning him
down, thinking he was a royal asshole. But he sounded sincere on the
phone, and I'd give him a second chance anyway for Fraser's sake. Plus I'd
much rather spend the evening looking at that face than at a TV screen. 

"I'm great," he says, and he takes my hand and guides me over to one of
the booths lining the walls. I slide in and notice he's drinking beer. All
right, so maybe I did misjudge the guy.  

"Service isn't very good here I'm afraid," he says while he's still
standing. "I'll just go to the bar and get your drink myself. What would
you like?" 

"I guess the same as you," I say while I'm taking off my jacket. I'm
trying to decide what that look he's giving me is all about. Cool it,
Kowalski, give him the benefit of the doubt; he did apologize. 

"Great, I'll be right back," he says and he walks towards the bar,
disappearing behind some people. He comes back pretty fast and puts the
beer in front of me while he slides into the booth across the table from
me. And he's smiling. 

"I'm glad you agreed to meet me, Ray. I'd like to take this opportunity to
apologize again," he says. I pick up my beer and take a drink. Tastes
good. 

"That's okay, Jarrod." I really don't wanna say too much. Hell, I don't
know what else to say anyway. 

"I also wanted to thank you because you helped me see things about myself
I didn't like very much," he says. Jeez, I did that? Cool. He keeps
talking. "I just hope you can forget what happened and we can move on. You
know, I'm not as bad as you think." 

"Yeah, sure, Jarrod, Fraser's always said good things about you." What I
don't tell him is that Fraser also said Jarrod's changed, and not in a
good way. But, maybe he's changing back. 

"So, are things all right between you and Ben?" he asks.  

"Yeah, sure, why wouldn't they be?" He puts me on the defensive; I'm not
sure why. 

"No, reason," he says. "Did you tell Ben about our last meeting?" 

"Uh, no, I thought it best not to say anything," I say. He looks relieved.
 

"Thanks, Ray, I appreciate that," he says, still smiling. Jeez, he's
fucking gorgeous. So, he's thanking me for not telling Fraser; he thinks I
kept my mouth shut to protect him. Wrong, buddy, I didn't say anything
'cause I didn't want to hurt the Mountie. 

Jarrod's talking away and I realize I enjoy listening to him. He's telling
me a lot of Fraser stories that I never heard before and he's making me
laugh, and in between stories he's going to the bar to get me beers. The
place is pretty packed now, music's playing, the atmosphere's stoked, I'm
feeling good. I glance at my watch, it's already midnight. Can't believe
how fast time is going by, but I'm also getting tired so I rest my head on
the back of the booth, close my eyes and enjoy the buzz I'm feeling. I
hear Jarrod saying something. 

"You look like you've had a hard day....come up to my suite....." I look
at him while he's talking and it's like he's floating in the air. Jeez, I
feel like I'm floating in the air. I see him stand up and he's walking
around to my side of the booth, and he grabs my jacket from the seat and
pulls me to my feet. 

"I'll just bring you upstairs with me," I hear him say. The last thing I
remember is him wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me out of the
booth. 

******************** 

Jesus. I feel like I was run over by a dump truck, and my mouth is so
fucking dry it feels like I was chewing cotton. I'm lying here, in a bed I
think, and I can't even open my eyes. So I take a deep breath. What the
hell is that smell? I feel my nose crinkle up. Smells like peaches. Where
the hell am I? Did I spend the night in some freakin' fruit stand? I feel
around with my hands. This ain't no fruit stand, this is a bed, a goddamn
big bed and these are satin sheets. I try to open my eyes again, but
they're not budging. Okay, so I try to listen; I hear something, voices,
sort of muffled, like they're coming from another room. So wherever I am,
I'm not alone. 

I review...I'm in a big bed with satin sheets, which feel fucking great by
the way, and I smell peaches and hear voices. Oh shit. I'm dead and this
is heaven. Only I hate peaches, so if this is heaven, I should be smelling
something else, something Mountie related. All right, Kowalski, open your
eyes now. I manage to get them open; it takes me a few seconds to focus. I
lift my head, which is a miracle in itself, and I look around. Okay, I'm
in a bedroom, a really nice bedroom...oh jeez, who's fucking bedroom is
this? I look under the covers. Damn it, I'm naked. Where are my freakin'
clothes? I hear those voices again. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to
remember; let's see, I was sitting in a bar with Jarrod, and now
I'm...here. Fuck. Don't tell me, this can't be...... 

The door's opening and someone's walking in. I pick my head up and drop it
back down in one beat. Damn it to fucking hell. Fraser's standing there
and Jarrod's right behind him. 

I'm not moving; maybe I'm dreaming this. Please, let me be dreaming this. 

"Ray?" 

Fuck. I still don't say anything. 

"Ray, what are you doing here?" Fraser asks me. I don't know what to say
'cause I don't know the answer to the question. I lift my head and barely
get the words out.  

"Um...hey, Frase." My voice sounds like I been swallowing sand paper. My
head drops down again, and my mind's going crazy. What the hell happened
last night? Did I spend the night with Jarrod? I can't remember a damn
thing. What am I gonna say to Fraser? I look up again and he's standing at
the foot of the bed. His eyes are really narrow and he's got this stony
expression on his face, and he's waiting for me to explain. I see Jarrod
walking over and he stops just behind Fraser, smiling like a smug bastard.
So, this is what he wanted, not to apologize, to make trouble for me...and
he's fucking good at it, too. Did he do all this just 'cause I turned him
down? He's one sick creep. I just hope nothing happened last night.  

I force myself to sit up, holding the covers over me to hide the fact that
I'm naked, but I guess that makes me look even more guilty. Fraser's still
staring at me and I can see his jaw working that way it does when he's
pissed. His hands are down at his sides and he's squeezing them both into
fists. I just wanna crawl into a hole with the other maggots and die. I
finally manage to say something.  

"Frase, I know this looks bad, but, um....." Then Jarrod jumps in. 

"I didn't tell him anything, Ray. I thought that should come from you."  

What the fuck does that mean?  

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Jarrod," I spit at him.
Fraser hasn't taken his eyes off me. 

"Well, after the amount of alcohol you drank last night, that's
understandable," Jarrod says, and he's got this sick sneer on his face. I
swear if I wasn't lying naked in his bed with Fraser standing there
waiting for me to answer, I'd kick him in the head.  

"Ray," Fraser says to me. He says it quiet to get my attention. I look
back at Fraser. His expression's changed and now his feelings are all over
his face. He's hurt and he's disappointed....in me, I guess. Shit, I hurt
Fraser. I don't even remember what the hell I did and I hurt him, so the
only thing I can do now is be honest with him. If I try to cover up
something I can't remember, it'll only make things worse. 

"Frase, I, uh, don't remember," is all I say. I can't look at his face
anymore, so I shift my eyes down to the bed and those damn satin sheets. 

"I think you should get dressed; we can talk about this later," he says,
and he sounds cold. I look up at him and his eyes are distant, almost like
I'm a stranger. Oh jeez, I really blew it. 

"Um, okay, Fraser. Why don't you wait....." 

"No," he snaps. "I'll talk to you tonight."  

"Fraser, please, we need to talk." I reach out to take his arm, but he
backs away. 

"I don't want to talk to you right now, Ray." He's not intentionally
trying to hurt me, but it hurts just the same. But I can understand why he
doesn't want to talk to me now. 

"Okay, Frase. I'll see you later." He turns to Jarrod, but he doesn't say
anything.  

"Look, Ben, I'm sorry, but Ray just....." 

"I don't think we should see each other again," he says to Jarrod.  

"Ben, you can at least allow me to tell you my side of the story," Jarrod
says. "You're blaming me when your boyfriend here.... 

"Shut the hell up," I yell. Jarrod's glaring at me now. And Fraser looks
so sad, like a man who just lost his best friend. 

No you didn't, Frase, I wanna say. I'm right here.  

"Jarrod, I have nothing to discuss with you," Fraser says. "As far as I'm
concerned this is between Ray and me. Perhaps you and Ray also have some
issues to work out." Then he turns to leave. 

"Fraser....." I call out to him. I wanna tell him I'm sorry, I wanna tell
him I love him, I don't want him to go. He pauses when he hears me call
his name, but he doesn't turn around; then he keeps going. Jarrod follows
him as far as the bedroom door and watches him leave. I hear the front
door open and close, and Jarrod turns to me.  

"Get dressed," he says, and he walks out, closing the door behind him. 

******************** 

I come out of the bedroom to find Jarrod sitting on the couch. Fraser was
right...he and I have some issues to work out. I go stand in front of him.


"What?" he says, like he doesn't know what I'm waiting for. 

"What the hell happened last night?" I'm trying to control my voice, and
I'm keeping my hands behind my back. It's just too tempting to pop him in
the head. 

"You mean you really don't remember?" he's laughing now. I grab him by his
collar.  

"Jarrod, you scumbag, you better tell me what happened or so help me
I'll......." 

"Okay, okay, just get your goddamn hands off me!" he's yelling, and he's
got his hands over mine trying to pull them off. I let him go and push him
down on the couch. I wait while he straightens out his shirt and gets
himself composed. Don't get too comfortable, I'm not done with you yet. 

"You had too much to drink," he says.  

"I remember having four beers. You're gonna tell me that's too much?"  

"Do you want to know what happened or not?" Okay, so, I'll let him talk.
Then I'll twist his fucking arm 'til he tells me the truth. 

"You were drunk, so I helped you up to my suite," he says. Then he smiles.
"You know you're quite amorous when you're drunk, Ray." 

"Just tell me what the fuck happened, Jarrod!" 

"So, you and I fell into bed together and we had a great time until you
passed out," he says. And he's got that smirk on his face again. I can't
believe I ever thought he was attractive. 

"I don't believe you," I say, pretty calm for the way I'm feeling. I'm
giving him a chance to change his bullshit story. 

"You don't even remember, so how can you say you don't believe me?" 

"Because I'd never cheat on Fraser," I yell. 

"Oh, really? Don't you think you should be feeding Ben that line and not
me? I was there, remember? Oh, sorry, you don't remember." He's laughing
again...that creep's enjoying this. What the hell's wrong with him? Why is
he doing this? I try to reason with him. 

"Listen, Jarrod. I got nothing against you, I just wanna know the truth,
and you're the only person who knows what happened...at least for now. So,
just tell me, please, c'mon, think about Fraser."  

"I'm telling you the truth, Ray." He gets serious now. "You know, this is
what happens to people who turn me down."  

"What the hell does that mean?" I say. I can't believe he'd set me up like
this just 'cause I wasn't interested in him. 

"It means people who turn me down always come around, one way or another."
 

I have to get outta here, can't breathe anymore. There's no way this sick
bastard's gonna tell me the truth. I can't even look at him again; I just
walk out and slam the door behind me. 

******************** 

It's five o'clock and I realize I barely got any work done the entire day.
All I could think about was last night and this morning, and seeing
Fraser's face, but I still can't remember a damn thing. And to make
matters worse, my head's still pounding from this hangover, and why the
hell do I have a hangover anyway? I only had four beers for chrissakes.
Jarrod said I drank a lot; I just can't remember that. I've been putting
off calling Fraser; he probably still doesn't wanna see me, but we have to
talk about it. I just hope I didn't blow everything with us. I pick up the
phone and dial his number. The phone's ringing and I'm holding my breath. 

"Canadian Consulate, Constable Benton Fraser speaking." 

"Hi Fraser." He doesn't say anything.  

"Um, Frase?" 

"Ray." He's not gonna make this easy for me, and I don't blame him. 

"Fraser, we have to talk." A few seconds pass.	

"All right." I let out the breath I been holding. 

"Uh, good. I can pick you up....." 

"No. I'll come by your apartment around seven o'clock," he says. 

"Yeah, um...okay. I'll see you around seven," I say. He hangs up; I hang
up. I cross my arms on my desk and rest my head on them; can't remember
having been this scared in a long time. 

******************** 

It's almost seven o'clock. Fraser'll be here any minute and I'm still not
sure what I'm gonna say to him. I guess a lot depends on what he says,
too. I figure I'll tell him everything, which I should've done in the
first place. And I want him to know that I feel in my heart that nothing
happened with Jarrod last night 'cause I love Fraser and I'd never betray
him. Yeah, I'll tell him that. I wonder if Fraser thinks Jarrod and I did
sleep together...I'm thinking I'd rather not know 'cause if he does think
that..... There's a knock at the door. I sprint over and pull the door
open and find Fraser standing there looking surprised. I guess I answered
it pretty fast. I look around the hall...no Dief.  

"C'mon in, Frase." I move back so he can come in. "Where's Dief?" I ask,
just making conversation. 

"I left him at the Consulate."	

"Oh, okay, have a seat," I say. "Can I get you anything?" 

"No, Ray, thank you." He walks over and sits on the chair next to the
couch. I sit on the couch and face him. My heart's pounding like it's
about to jump right out of my chest. I look up and he's staring at me with
that same look he had this morning, like he's never seen me before. It
hurts, but I deserve it. I take a deep breath and start to talk. 

"Frase, um...I'm gonna tell you everything, okay?"  

"All right," he says, looking scared too; maybe he's afraid of what he
thinks I'm gonna say. 

"Well, uh, I didn't tell you, but the last time Jarrod was here, I went to
see him in his hotel room," I say. His eyes open wide and he clenches his
jaw. I shift my eyes to the floor and wait, but he doesn't say anything,
so I go on. 

"I went to talk to him...it was the day he left...to ask him if he was,
um, interested in you as more than a friend." I look back up at him and
now he's staring at the floor. I continue. "He, uh...he told me he wanted
to be alone with me....." I hear him stir in the chair, but I don't look
at him and keep talking. "He said he kept you out late the night before to
make trouble between you and me, and he was hoping I would come see him. I
told him I wasn't interested, Frase, and I also told him not to say
anything to you 'cause I knew it would hurt you." I look at him again and
he's still looking at the floor. I keep talking. "So, I left and I didn't
hear from him again until yesterday when he called me at the precinct and
apologized...asked me to meet him for a drink. He said he called you first
but you had to work late, so I figured since he apologized, why shouldn't
I go, I mean, since you were working late." I'm staring at the coffee
table but I see his head move out of the corner of my eye, so I look up at
him. 

"Why didn't you tell me, Ray?" He doesn't sound mad, just curious. I'm
relieved he's even talking to me. 

"About me going to his hotel room?"  

"Yes," he says. "And that you were meeting him last night for a drink." I
take another deep breath. 

"I should've told you that I went to his hotel room, but I figured you'd
be mad so I just took the easy way out and kept my mouth shut; I'm sorry.
And I almost told you last night about us going out, but since you were
busy at the Consulate, I decided to tell you this morning." He doesn't say
anything so I guess that means he wants me to continue.  

"So, I met him at eight o'clock at the hotel bar and he apologized again.
And, um, I had some beers, I know I had four. And, I remember looking at
my watch around midnight and feeling really buzzed and then I remember him
helping me stand up. The next thing I know I'm waking up in his bedroom
this morning and, well, you know the rest." I stop again to see if he
wants to talk. He doesn't, so I tell him what I need for him to hear. 

"Frase...Fraser. Um, could you look at me please?" I figure if he sees my
eyes while I tell him, he'll believe me. He's still staring at the floor.
"Frase...please." His head comes up and he's looking at me now. He's got
that expression again like he just lost his best friend, and I know that
look is 'cause of me. I try to smile, but I can't so I just start talking
again. 

"Frase, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before. I thought I was
protecting you....I love you." He turns away again. "Frase, please, I need
for you to look at me; I need you to see that I'm telling you the truth."
He runs his thumbnail across his eyebrow and he looks back at me. I go on.


"Last night I went for a drink with someone I thought was a friend; I woke
up in his bed this morning; I can't remember what happened. But what I do
know is that I love you, Fraser, and I'd never do anything to hurt you.
I'd sooner cut off my arm." Damn, I can't keep my voice from cracking. Now
I have to look down 'cause if I keep looking at him, I know I'll start
crying like a little kid. I force myself to continue. 

"Um...I don't blame you for being mad at me." My voice is shaking so bad
now, I'm afraid he won't understand what I'm saying, plus I'm doing a
lousy job of holding back the tears 'cause I feel them rolling down my
face. I hate myself for losing control like this, but I can't help it; I
don't know what I'll do if I've lost him. 

"But in my heart, I know nothing happened, Frase. You're the only person I
wanna be with, I need you to believe...." I stop, it's just too hard, and
I'm scared that it's too late. I'm wiping my eyes with my sleeve, and the
next thing I know, Fraser's sitting next to me and he's got his arms
around me.  

"Ray, it's all right, I believe you." I make this choking noise and wrap
my arms around him and hold on. He believes me. But I need to know that he
forgives me too, so I pull back and look into his eyes.  

"Do you forgive me, Frase?" I realize I'm still crying so I take the
handkerchief he's holding up and wipe my eyes and face. 

"Yes, Ray, I forgive you. I know you'd never hurt me." I put my arms
around him again and bury my face in his neck; he smells so good and he
feels even better. Tears forgotten, I softly lick his neck, running my
tongue along his smooth skin. He pulls back a little and puts his hand
under my chin and guides my mouth to his, kissing me, barely touching my
mouth. After a few minutes of gentle kisses that are slowly driving me
wild, his kisses become forceful, almost painful, but I need this, so I
kiss him back hungrily.  

"What do you want, Frase?" I murmur against his mouth.	

"I want you, Ray," he says, and he grabs my t-shirt and yanks it up over
my head, leaning in and kissing my neck at the same time. I feel his hard
cock pressing against my thigh, and I groan with desire. 

We shift and maneuver awkwardly on the narrow couch, but somehow we manage
to get each other naked in record time. He's lying on top of me, kissing
me again, sucking hard on my tongue, almost hurting me like he was before.
I moan into his mouth, wrapping my legs around his waist, clinging to him.
I been needing this so badly, having him close to me, and I start rocking
my hips against him, mmm, feels so good. He whispers my name against my
mouth and slowly trails his tongue down my chin to my ear, swirling it
around, his hot breath bringing me closer to the edge.	

"Promise me, Ray," he says, "that you'll never keep secrets from me
again." He stops me from moving, so I look up and see him staring at me
through half closed eyes. 

"I...I promise, Frase," I manage to get out. He bites my bottom lip hard
and I gasp, but all I want now is to feel his body on top of mine, so I
pull him closer, pressing my cock against his hip. I sigh as he slides
slowly down my body, his tongue running down my neck and chest, stopping
at my nipples, sucking on one while squeezing the other between his
fingers, and then he bites down. 

"Oh Jesus, Fraser!" The combination of pain and pleasure is driving me
crazy; my body's bucking underneath his, and he's holding me down with his
weight, his tongue moving lower. Then he pauses for a moment looking back
up at my face; our eyes meet and he smiles at me. Lowering his head, he
takes my cock into his mouth; I groan, pushing my hips up towards him. He
slides his lips down the length of my cock, his teeth scraping against my
skin, and then he pulls back up sucking hard, his teeth gripping me
tighter. I throw my head back, my fingers in his hair, almost yanking him
off me 'cause of the pain when he gets gentle and runs his tongue up and
over the tip of my cock. 

"Fraser...oh fuck!" My whole body tenses and I hold my breath; he pulls
back as I start to come, his hands replacing his mouth; my body is shaking
uncontrollably, the release incredible. I hear myself moaning loudly, but
I can't seem to stop. After a few seconds, he kisses my inner thigh
lightly as he pushes my knees apart. Lifting my head, I watch him gather
cum from my belly, and I lay my head back down on the couch and close my
eyes. He settles himself between my legs and his fingers push into me;
feels so good, but then his fingers leave my body.  

"Ray, turn over please." I open my eyes and look up at him. 

"We could do it this way, Frase...."  

"No, Ray, please, turn over." His eyes are burning into mine. 

"Uh...sure, okay." I turn over onto my stomach. Fraser usually doesn't do
me this way, says he likes to look at my face, but if this is what he
wants, s'okay with me. He places his arm under my belly and raises my hips
up just enough to slip a cushion underneath. I feel his warm lips on the
small of my back as he kisses me, spreading my legs again, and before I
know it, he's pushing into me and it fucking hurts. I start to say
something, but then I hold back; Fraser's doing what he has to do, I
guess. And I need to prove to him that I love him. 

He's breathing hard as he pumps into me, grunting with each thrust, but it
doesn't hurt anymore; it's starting to feel really good. His body tenses
as he bites down on my shoulder, and then he's coming inside me. 

"Ray...oh god!" After a few moments, he gently licks my shoulder where he
just bit down, soothing it with his tongue. He sighs as he lowers himself
down on top of me, kissing the back of my neck, but he doesn't say
anything. And I'm just happy that he's here.  

********************  

It's late and Fraser and I are in bed. After we fucked on the couch, we
got up and showered together and then ordered some Chinese. We didn't
mention Jarrod again, but I have the feeling Fraser wants to talk about
him. He's lying on his back with his arm around my shoulder, and I'm on my
side with my head on his chest using it as a pillow. I can hear his heart
beating under my ear, and it scares me to think I could've lost him. I
kiss his chest telling myself that he still belongs to me. He strokes my
arm and he sighs. 

"What, Frase?" I ask, looking up at him. It's dark so I can't really see
his face, but I can make out the outline of his features and I can see his
eyelashes when he blinks. 

"Well...I...I want to apologize, Ray, for being so rough....." I get up on
my elbow and place my other hand on his chest. 

"No, don't. It's okay," I say. He lifts his head up and looks at me and
even though it's dark, I'm pretty sure he can see in my face that I mean
it. He doesn't have to apologize, I don't want him to. Besides, I sorta
liked it. He puts his head back down.  

"Ray, would you mind telling me what Jarrod said to you this morning after
I left?" I really don't want to talk about that creep, but if Fraser needs
to, then I will.  

"Well, I asked him what happened last night and um...he....uh....." 

"He said you had sex with him," he says to me, keeping his head on the
pillow.  

"Yeah, he said that, but I don't believe him," I say. He's quiet for a
minute. 

"What do you remember?" he asks. I thought I told him earlier, but I guess
I have to tell him again. 

"Well, I remember drinking the four beers, and I remember it being
midnight and I was feeling kinda, I dunno, floaty I guess. And then Jarrod
was helping me stand and he said something about going to his room. And
that's pretty much all I remember from last night."  

"You felt 'floaty', Ray?" 

"Yeah, you know, sorta out of it, like I was floating."  

"And how did you feel today?"  

"Well, Dr. Fraser......" I stop talking 'cause I feel him lift his head
and look at me. I lift mine and grin at him, and then rest it back on his
chest and continue talking. "I had a pretty bad hangover today, and the
strange thing is it lasted most of the day, which never happens to me. So
I guess maybe I did drink more than usual." 

"Hmm." 

"What's that, Fraser?"	

"What's what?" 

"Hmm." 

"Well, that's an expression, Ray."  

"I know that, Fraser, what does it mean?"  

"It means I find it very odd that you remember drinking four beers last
night, yet you don't recall anything after that, and today you experienced
a hangover like none you've ever had before," he says. 

"So, 'hmm' means all that?"  

"Hmm." 

"Fraser." 

"Ray, I believe Jarrod may have slipped something into your drink." I sit
up fast. 

"What, are you kidding me?" 

"I never joke about a controlled substance, Ray." 

"You think Jarrod would do something like that?" He looks at me.  

"Well, I know you ordinarily don't drink yourself into oblivion and find
yourself in a compromising situation with another man." 

"So, that means yes?" 

"Let's just say it's a supposition," he says. I lie back down again to
think this over. 

"Did you leave the table at any point during the evening?" he asks. 

"Yeah, Fraser, I was drinking beer." I sit up again. "Wait a minute, I
just remembered something, he brought me all my drinks. He said the
service was bad so he went to the bar to get them himself." Fraser looks
up at me and even in the dark I can see he's pissed; his body tenses next
to mine, but then his expression changes and he looks concerned. 

"How do you feel now?" he asks. 

"Good, I'm great, Frase. But why would Jarrod do that?" He sighs. 

"I don't know, Ray. I don't understand why anyone would do something like
that, but I intend to have a talk with him tomorrow." 

"No, Fraser, let me deal with him." 

"Ray, I understand how you feel, but Jarrod is my friend, and I need to
find out why he'd do this to you." I lie back down and bury my head
between his neck and shoulder. 

"Love you, Frase," I say and kiss his neck.  

"I love you, Ray," he says to me and he kisses the top of my head. 

We lie like that for a while and then I fall asleep. 

******************** 

Fraser left early this morning to talk to Jarrod. I wanted to go with him,
but he wouldn't let me. It's Saturday, so I went to the Consulate to pick
Dief up and I took him to the park for a while. Now I'm lying on the
couch, listening to music trying to get into my copy of Ring World, but
all I can think about is Fraser.  

He finally gets back around one o'clock. I guess I fell asleep 'cause I
open my eyes to find him sitting down on the couch by my feet. He rests
his hand on my leg and he's rubbing it, but he doesn't saying anything. 

"Fraser." He looks at me and I can see he's upset. "Tell me." He takes a
deep breath and starts to talk. 

"When I arrived at the hotel, I was told that Jarrod had checked out. I
went upstairs and the maid was just about to clean his room, so I managed
to persuade her to allow me to enter and have a look around first...and I
found this in the bathroom trash can." He reaches into his jeans pocket
and pulls out a small bottle and shows it to me.  

"What is it?"  

"It's empty now, but from the residual odor I could ascertain that it
contained gamma hydroxy butyrate, also known as 'liquid ecstasy'. It's a
powerful sedative that can cause a person to pass out if given an
overdose." 

"That sonovabitch. He put that shit into my beer?" 

"Apparently, Ray. Fortunately, he gave you just enough to knock you out,
but not enough to cause any permanent damage." Just then I remember
something Jarrod said to me. 

"You know, Frase, when I was talking to him after you left, he said
something like, 'that's what happens to people who turn me down.' I can't
believe he'd set me up like that just 'cause I said no. He's changed a
helluva lot more than you thought; that guy needs professional help." As
I'm talking another thought occurs to me. "Um, you don't think he,
uh...did something while I was out, do you?" I look over to Fraser and
he's staring into space. "Hey, Frase, you still with me?" He shakes his
head and then he talks. I don't think he even heard what I said. 

"I went to the airport and he was there waiting for his flight," he says.
I sit up. 

"You confronted him?" 

"Yes. And he denied everything, so I showed him the bottle." 

"I guess he had to admit it then."  

"No, he still denied it." 

"Then how did he explain the empty bottle?" I can't believe this guy. 

"He didn't...he said he never saw it before. He even suggested that it may
have been yours." 

"That fucking......." 

"Ray, let's just say he knew I didn't believe him. He obviously was
attempting to protect himself legally. But he did admit to spending the
night on the couch while you were passed out in the bedroom; he told me
nothing happened. I feel his telling me was his way of apologizing." 

"You forgave him?"  

"Not really, but he did give me a glimpse of the man I once knew. Perhaps
someday he'll be that person again. I don't know what happened in his life
to turn him into such a vindictive man; for some unexplained reason he
seems to be driven by revenge. But I did manage to see something in him
today that reminded me of the old Jarrod, so maybe there's hope for him." 

"And you let him go...just like that?" No response. "Fraser." He keeps his
head down, but he shifts his eyes up at me. 

"Well, he swore to me that he never did anything like this before, nor
would he ever do it again. I saw something in his eyes when he said that
to me; I believed him, but I made him promise to obtain professional help.
And then I effectively communicated to him that if he were ever to come
near you again, or even attempt to contact you, he'd have to deal with me
personally." He squeezes my knee. 

"Frase, I can take care of myself, you don't have to...." 

"I'm aware of that, Ray." I decide to let it go. 

"Thanks, Frase. So, um, gotta ask you something. Did you have any doubts
about whether Jarrod and I slept together before he told you we didn't?"  

"No, Ray, I never thought you slept with him. But....." He stops talking. 

"But what?"  

"I must admit those first few moments when I walked into the bedroom and
saw you on those satin sheets, I had a momentary...very fleeting...almost
imperceptible...flash of jealousy."  

"Are you sure you're not confusing jealousy with being turned on by seeing
me naked on those sheets?"  

"I'm quite sure." 

"Oh. So, um, everything's cool between us?"  

"Yes, Ray. But it's very important that we never keep secrets from one
another, and that we never allow anyone to come between us." He leans over
and places a light kiss on my mouth. I close my eyes and wait for another
one.  

"Ray." I open my eyes to find him watching me. 

"Always Frase. I'll always tell you everything," I say. "No secrets." And
I close my eyes again and wait for another kiss, so Fraser obliges, and
this time, the tip of his tongue caresses my lips. Oh yeah, that feels so
good.  

"Hey, Frase, " I whisper into his mouth.  

"Yes, Ray?"  

"How 'bout we buy some satin sheets this weekend." 

The End 

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