tell me why   Author's disclaimer: Although the story is mine, it is
a work of fiction based on the characters of Due South. 
All Characters portrayed here belong to Alliance. Please do not
print/copy/download or send any part of this 
story to anyone else, other than for your personal enjoyment yada.. yada..
yada. Thank you. 

Author's notes:.  This story takes place after CotW and everything
happened except the Francesca and her imaculate conception. Ray has
returned to Chicago to attempt to reclaim his life again. There is some
language and sexual situations that would not be appropriate for younger
readers, thus theNC-17 rating. Please read on and I hope you enjoy it. 

                 Please contact me at perrymor@home.net 
                 Feedback! I crave feedback!. 

By Amethyst  

   TELL ME WHY? 

 

        Francesca Vecchio pulled her purse from the second drawer of her
desk and straightened her moderately modest civilian aid blouse, it had
been a long day and she was ready to go home and put her feet up. She
glanced over at her brother's desk behind her and shook her head at the
blond detective sitting behind it, his head down as he scribbled franticly
to finish up a report. Her real brother, Ray Vecchio had come back to
claim his old life, after a year as Armande Lagostini, and had eloped with
Stella Kowalski then moved to open up some bowling place in another state.
Francesca sensed that Ray Kowalski was having a difficult time with it and
the fact that he and Fraser had parted ways, Fraser electing to stay in
Canada. A letter from the Mountie had informed her that Ray couldn't
handle the cold and the isolation, and their adventure to find the
reaching hand of Franklin had been cut terribly short because Ray had
caught phenomena and almost died. Fraser felt responsible and suggested
Ray return to Chicago. She was sure the sacrifice of loosing another
friend and partner almost killed Fraser, but he wanted what was best for
Ray and had convinced him to return. 
         Unfortunately, returning to Chicago was probably not the best
thing for the usually vibrant detective. He had lost a lot of weight from
his illness and his usually flashing eyes were dulled and seemed much
older. Welsh had accepted him back as detective with the precinct and
everyone had seemed to accept him as Stanley Kowalski, though Francesca
still called him Ray. It seemed to Francesca the one thing Ray had been
afraid of when her brother returned had come to pass. He was no longer Ray
Vecchio, he lost Fraser, most of his friends from the precinct had moved
off to other things and his ex-wife Stella had also seemed to abandon him.

         Now he spent most of his waking hours working through cases, for
once the stack of files on his desk was at an all time low, but Welsh and
Francesca worried he was pushing himself. He had not yet retrieved a new
partner, she suspected Welsh was reluctant to offer him one, but being a
loner seemed to suit Ray. Finally, Francesca walked over and snatched the
pen out of Ray's hand. He glanced up at her for a minute then reached into
his drawer for another one and continued to write. Francesca grabbed that
one away as well and she watched him sigh. 
         "That's not buddies, Frannie." He remarked, staring at his
report. "I can't write without my pen." 
         "You need to go home, Ray." She insisted. "Everyone else but the
late shift have already left." 
         "Don't wanna go home." He stated, opening his drawer and
searching for another pen. "I wanna finish here." She pulled the file up
and closed it, throwing it in his stack. 
         "Finish it tomorrow." She ordered. "Go home." Ray leaned back and
ran a hand through his softly spiked hair. 
         "Okay, Frannie." He agreed, rising from his desk and pulling his
sports coat from the back of his chair. "I just gotta go to the can and
then I'll leave." She nodded satisfied and threw the pens back on his
desk. She turned and walked away, glancing behind her only once to see
that the detective was indeed headed for the bathroom. Halfway down the
stairs, she remembered her own jacket and she headed back up. She stared,
furious, when she saw that Ray had returned to his desk and was once again
bent over the report. Okay, getting mad wouldn't help, he'll just shrug
that off, she decided to torment him, and it had worked in the past. She
stalked over, noticing that he glanced up and hid his hand that held the
pen under his desk so she couldn't get it from him. She hopped up on the
desk and in her best seductive pose stretched across it and covered the
annoying file with her body. 
        "All work and no play makes Stanley a dull boy." She remarked
sweetly. 
         "You wanna play with me, Francesca?" he asked quite seriously,
startling her. 
         "I..I just meant..." she sighed. "Ray, you should give yourself a
break. If you don't want to go home, go to a movie or get something to
eat, but don't stay here working yourself to death." 
         "I'm fine, Frannie." He assured quietly, his fingers moving to
pull the file from under her, but she leaned forward preventing it,
indirectly giving him a better view of her cleavage and a whiff of her
perfume. He stared at her, his fingers that had reached for the file now
brushed up against her waist. He snatched them away and looked down. 
         "What's wrong, are you having problems?" she asked gently. "Ya
can talk to me ya know, I'm a good listener, even though most people think
I talk to much, but I can stop when I have to and we're practically
related I mean yer like a brother ta me and...." 
         "Frannie..." Ray warned, rubbing his knuckles against his
suddenly throbbing temple. "Yer givin' me a headache, please hush."
Francesca shut her mouth with a snap and averted her eyes. She was just
trying to help. "I like it better when yer tellin' me to piss off." 
         "I have never told you to piss off, Ray." She stated indignantly.
"Just because we fought sometimes doesn't mean I don't care about you."
Ray glanced up at her sharply, then looked away again. 
         "I'll go home." He allowed reluctantly, standing and heading for
the door, leaving her sitting on the desk. She jumped down and grabbed her
jacket as she passed her desk, shrugging into it while her heels clicked
against the floor as she hurried after him.  She caught him in the
department parking lot, about to unlock his car. 
         "You can come home with me." She suddenly suggested, not wanting
him to be alone for some reason. Ma, Marie and the kids are all at
grandma's for the weekend and I've got a great big batch of gazpacho made
up and even some movies rented to watch and we could ya know drip out and
relax..." 
         "Hang out, Frannie." 
         "Hang, drip, drape, whatever." She dismissed barely missing a
beat as she continued to talk. "I'm not really looking forward to spending
the whole weekend alone I can tell ya but I couldn't go because I had to
work and besides even though I love her, Grandma Marie always smells like
fried fish and Ben Gay and that just doesn't hold it fer me." 
         "Do it fer ya, Frannie." He corrected, noticing his headache was
steadily getting worse. He didn't think he could handle much more of her
endless prattle, though he had been surprised and a little pleased by her
invitation. Francesca noticed the increased pressure his knuckles were
extending against his forehead and she slipped closer to stand behind him.
Immediately she began to message his temples and he sighed at the relief.
Yah, she talked too much, but Francesca Vecchio had magic fingers. 
         "I promise not to talk too much, Ray." She agreed quietly and he
immediately regretted his earlier thoughts, she couldn't help being what
she was and he didn't really want to be alone tonight either. 
         "Okay, Frannie." He replied finally, unlocking his car. "Com'ahn,
but let's just grab a pizza or somethin' easy to eat." Francesca nodded
and quickly headed for her own vehicle before he changed his mind. 
         Ray followed her over to her house and parked his GTO on the
street just down from the driveway that Francesca pulled into. He pulled
the pizza box from the passenger side of the car and jogged up the steps
of the large two-story home. The Vecchio's had been lucky that their
insurance on the house their father had left to Ray had paid for a new
home for the close knit family. Although this home was also in her
brother's name, simply because he was still considered the head of the
family as the oldest male, it was also half in Francesca's name should
something happen to Ray Vecchio. Kowalski had been forced to forge
Vecchio's signature when the original home burned, because Vecchio had
still been undercover, but it had gotten straightened out when he
returned. Kowalski had put Francesca's name on the title deed as well,
much to her brother's chagrin, but he never disputed it, luckily since he
married and left the state, which entitled the remaining Vecchio's to stay
in the house. 
         Inside the home it was unusually quiet, Ray supposed that was
because the others were not there, but it was still strange not to be
greeted by the noise and commotion that usually accompanied the family. He
had not been by to see the Vecchio's since his return from Canada, no
longer feeling comfortable with the farce since Vecchio, the prodigal son,
had returned. Francesca invited him on a regular basis, insisting Maria
and her mother wanted to see him, but he continued to avoid it. 
        Now he was almost sad that he had, with the house so quiet, he
missed Ma Vecchio's routine entrance from the kitchen, with her warm,
plump arms open wide to receive him and give him a big hug and a kiss.
Marie's kids had always flocked to him next, clinging to his legs and
pulling at his shirt until he picked each of them up to receive another
hug and a babbling description of all the things that had happened to them
that day. Maria would take the children with a smile, offer him a kiss,
remark he was getting better looking every day, as Tony would occasionally
wave from his recliner in the living room. Of course Fraser was almost
always with him when he stopped in and they flocked to him as well, which
delighted the Mountie to no end. Then, Ma Vecchio would hustle them both
into the kitchen, complaining Ray had no meat on his bones and required
fattening up. 
        "Ray?" Francesca asked quietly, noticing the detective's
hesitation in the hallway. He glanced at her, as though seeing her for the
first time, then slowly came back to wherever it was she suspected he had
drifted off to. 
        "Sorry, he offered sheepishly as she took the pizza from him and
brought it into the living room. Ray automatically retrieved a couple of
sodas from the fridge and joined her as she glanced through her small
stack of videotapes, while he dropped into the comfortable recliner. 
        "I've got four to choose from." She was explaining holding them up
for his inspection. "You pick one to watch then I'll pick the next one."
She dropped them lightly in his lap and he almost dropped his soda trying
to catch them all. "I'll get us some plates for our pizza right after I
change." Ray glanced up, worried for a moment what she was going to change
into. 
        "C..change?" he repeated nervously, he still had hidden feelings
for Francesca, and maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all.
"I..into what?" 
        "Something more comfortable." She shrugged and headed out. Ray
silently prayed whatever her new ensemble was it wouldn't reveal any more
than her tight pants and sheer gray blouse that she had worn to work. She
rarely stuck to the civilian aid uniform and Welsh had given up trying to
convince her, she did her own thing. Ray settled back in the recliner and
read the backs of the movies, awaiting her return. He was both relieved
and disappointed that she now sported a pair of blue stretch pants and an
oversized T-shirt that hung almost to her knees. She settled on the sofa,
offered him one of the two plates she held, and helped herself to a piece
of pizza. 
        "Did'ya decide what to watch?" she asked politely and Ray handed
her the two he had chosen. 
        "Either of those will do, I haven't seen 'em." He explained
getting his own slice of pizza. Francesca glanced over the action and
drama selection. She was only mildly surprised that he had picked a drama,
rather than the other action film, but she decided against commenting on
it. She decided to put in the action one first, figuring he would enjoy
that one more. 
        They ended up watching both movies, taking a break in between to
clean up their food leftovers and go to the bathroom. Ray had seemed to
enjoy both the action and drama, and Francesca was reluctant to have the
evening end. It was the weekend and neither of them had to work so she
decided to ask Ray to stay and watch the remaining movies. Ray, seemingly
not even close to tired yet, agreed, so Francesca made some popcorn, got
two more sodas and settled back on the sofa. She was surprised when Ray
moved from the recliner to stretch out beside her, though she suspected it
was more to be closer to the popcorn than she was specifically. Still she
wouldn't complain and she would probably be glad he was there once the
movie got going. Bride of Chucky was one she had picked up on a whim and
was having second thoughts about, she was never good with horror movies. 
        Somehow, at some point during the movie, Francesca had removed the
large crystal bowl of popcorn that separated them and moved closer to Ray,
hiding her face in his shoulder at some of the more gruesome scenes.. 
        "How can you watch that?" she demanded, disgusted, but at the same
time enthralled by what the possessed doll was doing to his next victim.
"That is so gross. You can't even go to the morgue hardly at the
department." 
        "That's different." Replied Ray, his eyes never moving from the
screen as he palmed a handful of popcorn into his mouth from the bowl he
had pulled into his lap. "This isn't real so it doesn't bother me." 
        "It bothers me!" declared Francesca, again placing her face
against Ray's neck and only half hiding her eyes with her hand. 
        "Then don't watch." Refereed Ray with a grin. 
        "I can't help it!" she exclaimed grimacing. "It's like one of them
thingamagigs..like when you see somethin' totally weird and gross but you
half ta look." 
        "Compelling." Supplied Ray and she nodded, peeking through her
fingers, glad the scene no longer held the sight of blood and guts. She
was actually only partially grossed out by the movie, she was in truth
enjoying being this close to the detective. He smelled wonderful and his
deceptively soft hair caressed her cheek when she lay her face at his
neck. Ray made no move to stop her cuddling, perhaps he felt sorry for
her, or maybe he was getting a kick out of her fear, whatever the reason
Francesca was glad when he moved his arm to fold around her shoulders and
drew her to him protectively. 
        "I won't let Chucky get ya, Frannie." He assured amused. "Me and
yer squad of Barbie's upstairs will protect ya." Francesca sat back
surprised. 
        "How did you know...." However did Ray know about her collection
of Barbie dolls that she kept on a special shelf in her room, he had never
been in there. 
        "Maria told me." He replied calmly. Francesca grumbled something
about being an only child and snuggled back into Ray, this time she leaned
against his chest. This was nice, she wondered if Ray was having any
feelings about her being in his arms. He seemed comfortable enough, as
though it didn't seem to phase him, but still she wondered. Elaine had
told her he had been hesitant to work with her  in the beginning because
he liked her so much, but now she wondered if he had decided he didn't
like her that way anymore. Deciding to test her theory she leaned up and
pressed her lips to his in a quick kiss. He glanced down at her surprised
and she grinned innocently. 
        "What?" she asked. 
        "What was that fer?" 
        "What was what fer?" she repeated coyly. 
        "Why'd ya kiss me Frannie?" 
        "Didn't ya like it?" 
        "That's not the point, why did you do it?' he demanded. She
shrugged. 
        "You looked like you could use one." She teased and was startled
when he suddenly moved away from her and stood up. "Where are you going?" 
        "It's late." He muttered, retrieving his jacket from the back of
the recliner. "I should go." She caught up to him at the door and placed a
hand on his arm. 
        "Don't go, Ray." She requested. "Ma and everybody will be gone all
weekend and...I..I don't want to be alone. Ya can sleep in the guest room
and we could go to breakfast tomorrow morning, or I'll make something here
special, just for you." 
        "Good night Frannie." Ray replied opening the door, as though he
hadn't heard a word she said. She grabbed hold of him and kept him from
leaving. 
        "Please stay." She pleaded. "I really don't want to be here by
myself." Ray sighed and closed the door, he couldn't leave knowing she was
afraid to be alone in the large house. In a way he could understand it,
there was almost always someone here with her. 
        "Show me where I can sleep then." He grumbled. "I'm tired." She
nodded and practically skipped up stairs in relief. She guided him to the
bedroom next to hers. 
        "Sheets are clean and I think Tony has something you can wear to
bed that I can get." Ray shook his head, doubting anything  the larger man
had would fit him. 
        "I won't need anything." He replied, throwing his jacket over a
chair and sitting on the bed to pull off his boots and socks. He stripped
off his holsters and guns and placed them on the bedside table, then
glanced back at where she still stood by the door. "Ya gonna watch?" 
        "Can I?" she taunted, surprised when he simply shrugged and pulled
his shirt over his head, revealing a smooth, lean chest and a bare
shoulder sporting a colorful tattoo. Francesca strained to identify it,
but he had turned away and was unbuttoning his jeans. He pulled them down,
revealing a simple pair of white jockey shorts, then pulled the sheets
back on the bed and climbed inside. Francesca waited until he was covered
to approach, reaching a finger out to trace the Champion Sparkplug on his
shoulder. 
        "Like it?" he asked her, raising his other arm up to cushion his
head. 
        "It's nice." She admitted. "I never knew you had a tattoo." He
shrugged again. 
        "Lots a things you don't know about me, Frannie." He returned
calmly and she smiled. 
         "I have one, a small one. Wanna see?" 
        "Sure." He replied easily, until she moved to pull her shirt up
and the waist of her pants down. He stilled her hands with his own.
"Uh...exactly where is this tattoo, sis?" he used the old referral as a
reminder of what was appropriate, whether he was her blood brother or not
and she chuckled. 
        "It's okay." She assured. "I showed Fraser, I'm sure I can show
you." Ray raised an eyebrow as she exposed the pale flesh just above her
hip, to reveal a small single orchid. Ray traced it with his fingertip, as
she had done with his, then nodded his approval. 
        "It's pretty." He told her as she pulled her clothes together
again. "It suits ya. Rare and exotic." Francesca blushed a bright pink and
laughed delighted. 
        "Thanks, Ray." She accepted graciously as she sat next to him.
"Want me to tuck ya in and read you a story?" Ray grinned, wondering why
she was in such a playful mood tonight. 
        "I think I'll be okay." He conceded and she pouted. 
        "Are you sure?" she pressed and he nodded. She pushed a dark
tendril of hair back over her ear. "Thanks fer stayin' Ray. I know it's
silly to be scared but..." 
        "It's okay." He assured quickly. "I'm goin' to sleep, why don't
you get to bed too?" 
        "Can I sleep in here with you?" she asked smiling. "Ya know, in
case the monsters in my closet decide to try and eat me later." 
        "What are you doin' Francesca?" Ray asked quietly, suddenly
serious. She shook her head startled by his use of her full name. 
        "Nothing, Ray I..." 
        "If I didn't know better I'd think ya were tryin' ta seduce me,
Frannie." He insisted without malice or accusation. " Either 'dat or yer
bein' a tease, but ya wouldn't be doin' dat, would ya, so I must be
gettin' my signals crossed. Why don't ya just tell me what yer tryin' to
do here so dere's no misunderstandin'." 
        "W..what if that is what I'm trying to do, Ray?" she asked shyly.
"Would ya be mad?" He shook his head. 
        "No I wouldn't be mad, Frannie." He replied. "Just confused. Ya
never seemed to like me dat way, an' I know we had to pretend ta be
brother and sister fer awhile, but I think I woulda noticed if you did
have those kinda feelin's fer me." She averted her eyes. "You were always
after Fraser, so what's da deal? Big Red's gone home so ya gotta settle
for whatever's closest?" 
        "No, Ray." She denied. "It's not like that." She shrugged. "I
don't know. Maybe I'm just lonely or maybe I'm finally realizing how I
feel about ya. I know I was blind to everyone while Fraser was here, I was
infatuated with him I couldn't help it, but I did..notice ya before, Ray."

        "So what do'ya want then, Frannie?" he asked curious. "Ya wanna
sleep together? Have sex? Get married? What?" His bluntness embarrassed
and surprised her, but she didn't let it phase her, which is what she was
sure he had meant to do. To scare her away from getting too close like she
saw him do with other women. 
        "Okay." She agreed. 
        "Okay what?" he questioned warily. 
        "Okay to all the above." Ray stared at her long and hard, then
turned his back to her. 
        "G'nite Frannie." He muttered firmly. Francesca sighed, started to
move from the bed, then on impulse climbed under the covers and snuggled
up against him, feeling him tense at her touch. 
        "Ya used ta like me, Ray." She accused. "What happened?" 
        "I still like ya Frannie." He acknowledged, not even attempting to
turn into or away from her embrace. "Dat ain't the point." 
        "Then what is the point, Ray?" she demanded, wrapping her arms
around him, one under his neck the other across his chest. "Ya like me and
I like you." She placed gentle kissed along his neck and shoulders. "Why
can't we enjoy our mural like for one another?" Ray smiled. 
        "Ya mean mutual?" 
        "Whatever." She sighed, continuing to caress his shoulders with
her lips. "Why can't we? Don't ya find me attractive?" 
        "Yer sexy as hell and ya know it, Francesca." He growled and felt
her lips widen against him in a smug smile. "But... 
        "Don't ya wanna make love ta me, Ray?" He groaned in defeat. 
        "Yah, but...." 
        "Then lets follow our hearts." She pushed at his shoulders and
rolled him onto his back to cover his chest with warm kisses. She could
both feel and hear his heart rate increase beneath her. Ray groaned and
cupped her face in his hands, pulling her up to meet his lips. He kissed
her tenderly, hesitantly, until she opened her mouth against him and
invited his tongue inside. The kiss grew more urgent and soon they were
both gasping for breath, each learning the precise contours of the other's
mouth. 
        "W...we gotta stop, Frannie." Ray managed pushing away from her
and sitting up against the headboard to run a shaky hand through his hair.
Francesca didn't want to stop, so she swung a leg over and straddled him,
wrapping her hands around his neck. She could feel his arousal against the
juncture of her own thighs and wiggled against him, pulling a low growl
from his throat. 
        "I don't wanna stop, Ray." She insisted pressing her lips to his
again, sucking his tongue into her warm, moist mouth and sending shivers
of desire through him. He bucked against her, stressing his need, as his
hands found their way inside her shirt to cup firm naked breasts. He
groaned at the contact and she arched against him with a sigh of pleasure,
before pulling the shirt over her head and tossing it to the floor. Ray
stared at her with blatant desire, as he tenderly caressed the mounds of
flesh beneath his hands. 
        "God! Yer beautiful, Frannie." He whispered, tracing a delicate
path of kisses along her neck and collarbone. "So beautiful." Francesca
shivered, either from his soft touch or the tender words coming from him
she didn't know, but when he gently rolled her onto her back she thought
she was in heaven. He kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, her
eyelids, her chin, then finally a sensual kiss on her lips. Then he moved
lower, along her jawbone, neck, across her bare shoulders, down one arm to
her fingertips, drawing each individual finger inside his mouth for a few
delicious seconds, then did the same with her other arm. He moved back
along her collarbone and down over her breasts. He didn't suckle them as
most men would have, just placed little treasured butterfly kisses over
them, then down along her ribcage, stomach and navel. He paused at the
waistband of her pants and she impatiently moved to pull them off. Once
done, Ray continued his homage to her now quivering body. Francesca had
never felt so loved and desired, most of her experiences were wham bam
thank you ma'am, but Ray seemed intent on going slow. She expected him to
be like a demon in bed, since he always had that extra energy bouncing
around him, but he was almost painful deliberate in his task and he had
her panting in only moments. 
        "Please, Ray?" She whimpered as his kisses trailed the lace
bindings of her 
underwear.  He moved back up over her and claimed her mouth once more, 
kissing her with such gentleness that Francesca felt like crying. No one
had ever been this delicate with her, this thorough, and she was amazed to
have her body respond in ways she never knew existed. She wanted to touch
him in the same way, return the favor and lavish his body as he had hers,
but when she tried he held her hands away from him, content to press his
warm body to hers, to devour her mouth with his own. 
         "Just kiss me Frannie." he demanded softly against her lips and
so she did, though she wanted much more than to just kiss him, she put her
all into it and felt drugged and dazed when he finally pulled away. He
gazed down at her, his steel blue eyes glittering with desire, his mouth
slightly swollen from their kisses. "Do ya have anything, Frannie?" She
nodded and reached to pull her pants from the floor and retrieve a foil
packet from her pocket. 
         "I thought men always came prepared?" she teased as he took the
packet from her and placed it on the pillow beside them. 
         "It's been a long time." He admitted nibbling her neck and
allowing his hand to roam down toward the valley of her legs. "I didn't
figure I would be needing one anytime soon." Francesca frowned, how long
had it been for him, and why wouldn't he think he might get lucky? He was
an attractive eligible man, lots of women would be willing to go to bed
with him, and he certainly seemed to go after enough of them. Something
caused her to consider that last thought. Yah, Kowalski made no secret
that he was a skirt chaser, but when had she ever seen him catch one? He
never even dated to her knowledge, what was he waiting for? 
         Her hypothesis of his behavior took a nosedive as she felt his
fingers slip inside her and she bucked against him with a moan. Such
wonderfully long fingers he had, she thought, biting her lip against the
powerful stirrings he was creating within her. If he didn't make love to
her soon, she was sure she would come apart at the seams. She grabbed the
condom from the pillow and ripped it open with her teeth, offering it to
him pointedly and he chuckled. She hadn't even seen him yet, the covers
still covered the parts of him she most wanted to explore and he still had
his shorts on. He moved off of her to pull off his underwear and prepared
himself. He barely had the condom secured when she rolled atop of him with
a frustrated growl, he was deliberately teasing her by taking his time,
and  she straddled him again, taking him inside her with a quick lowering
thrust. She heard him gasp, his fingers gripping her hips as she rode him
furiously, making up for lost time. Slow and steady may win the race but
Francesca was determined to beat the clock on this particular adventure. 
        "Oh God!" she heard him cry out as he matched her rhythm with his
usual  frenetic energy. She gazed down over him, reveling in the way his
mouth opened and closed in spasms of passion and his eyes locking with
hers in an intense moment of sharing. She loved him! She just knew it,
could feel it rising within her. No one had ever made her feel this way.
Ray reached up at brought her down to capture her mouth once more, just
moments before they climaxed together. He continued to kiss her, sweet,
exotic kisses that left her breathless still, until they finally had to
part out of good sense. 
         Ray disposed of the condom and accepted a moist towel that
Francesca had retrieved from the bathroom to wipe off with. He reached for
his shorts, still managing to hide himself within the folds of the sheets,
but Francesca pulled him back against her and cuddled against him. They
were both still breathing raggedly and a soft sheen of sweat glistened on
their bodies. She moved her hand under the sheet and wrapped it around his
softening organ, reveling in the feel of it and he pulled her into his
embrace, kissing her gently. They lay there for long moments, catching
their breath, Francesca had expected him to drift off to sleep as most men
did, but he continued to watch her with a lazy gaze and play with her
hair. 
         "That was nice." She sighed, then condemned her own words. Hell,
it was the best sex she had ever had and she said it was just nice? Ray
didn't seem to mind, for he offered her one of his best smiles and
continued his feather light caresses, under the sheets along her body. He
wasn't touching her erotically now, just tenderly, like a type of
after-sex petting that she found sweetly sincere and gentle. 
         "Yer beautiful Frannie." He whispered and she blushed and pressed
her cheek against his chest. 
         "I believe you've said that." She teased and she felt him shrug. 
         "You are though." He insisted, perhaps thinking she didn't
believe him. "I never....most women like you don't...well, they don't go
fer guys like me." Frannie raised her head to look at him, remembering
what her brother had told her about going after Fraser. Guys like him
didn't go for girls like her. Did Ray think she was better than he was? 
         "Guys like you?" she repeated puzzled. "There's nothin' wrong
with you, Ray. "Yer wonderful." He shrugged off her compliment and she
tried to quell her rising anger. Why didn't Ray think more of himself? Why
did he seem to have such a low self-esteem. Francesca knew she could
probably blame it on Stella for breaking his heart, but that couldn't be
the only reason. He needed to understand how wonderful he had made her
feel and since she was never very eloquent with language, she decided to
show him. She pulled the sheet up over her head and slipped beneath the
covers. 
         "Frannie!" He exclaimed surprised, and immediately reaching down
for her. She slapped his hands away and set about lavishing his body the
way he had done hers. "Oh God, Frannie." His voice had become a whisper.
"Ya don't have ta..." Coherent thought left him as she kissed and licked
her way down  over his stomach and thighs. She placed deliberate kisses
close to his most intimate area, then took him into her mouth. He bucked
against the hot wet sensation that now covered him, then fought to control
his response, after all he didn't want to choke her because he couldn't
contain himself much better than a teenager with her doing that to him. 
         "Like it, Ray?" She asked, raising her mouth from him just long
enough to throw the covers back and smile at him. He met her gaze with a
hunger she had only hoped for and nodded. 
         "Y..Yah, Frannie." He sighed. "I like it." She smiled again and
continued with what she was doing. "..so good." She heard him moan from
above. "Please Frannie ...j....just like that..YES!" Francesca swallowed
as he came in her mouth, then kissed him lightly once more for good
measure and moved back up to cuddle with him. His eyes were closed, his
incredibly long lashes splaying across his flushed cheeks as his chest
rose and fell in an effort to regain a controlled rhythm of breathing. 
         "Now aren't ya glad ya stayed?" she teased him, running a long
fingernail across his chest. He could only nod, the he surprised her by
rolling onto his side and urging her to do the same, with her back to him.
He curled an arm around her waist and pulled her into the cradle of his
body so they lay spoon fashioned under the sheets. 
         "We need talk, Frannie." He murmured drowsily, sleep finally
catching up with him. "Tomorrow though. We'll talk." She tensed,
immediately on alert for what he might have to say to her, what they would
talk about and if it was a good talk or a bad talk.  He pulled her tighter
against him and nuzzled her neck in a way that told her not to worry. She
sighed and closed her eyes, it would be okay. 
         Francesca awoke, feeling better than she could ever remember
feeling and stretched lazily in the large bed, then realized that Ray was
no longer beside her./ She frowned, surely she hadn't dreamed it? No, she
was in the gust room, her clothes were still on the floor, yet Ray's were
missing. She bolted upright and threw the covers back, quickly getting
dressed as she ran a hand through her tangled air, then hurried
downstairs. Surely he wouldn't have left without even saying good-bye. 
         She paused in the hallway, as she heard voices coming from the
kitchen, it was her mother! What was she doing back? Where were Marie and
the kids and had she walked in before Ray left their bed or after? She
heard Ray speaking again. 
         "Sure I miss Fraser." He was responding to Ma. Vecchio's
question. "But he did what he had ta do. Besides, now I'm just me working
as myself an it ain't so bad." 
         "You have not been by to visit in so long I had thought you had
forgotten us." Scolded the older woman. 
         "I..I've been busy that's all." Francesca knew Ray was suffering
for lying to her Mother, she understood he cared almost as much about her
as he did his real mother. 
         "You have been avoiding us." Insisted Ma. Vecchio. "You do not
think that we wish to see you now that Raymondo has returned but you are
wrong." Before Ray could deny her charge, she continued. "We love you as
well Stanley, you hurt us by thinking that would change because my son had
come home." Francesca bowed her head, knowing she shouldn't be
eavesdropping but unable to help it, Ma would get things out or Ray no one
else could. 
         "I..I never meant..." Ray protested quickly. "I would
never...Mrs. V, you know I care about all of you, but I was just
pretending to be yer son fer a short while. I'm not really any blood
relation and I don't expect... I ain't havin' ta pretend any more and
neither should you." Francesca winced, knowing Ray wasn't meaning to be
hurtful, he just didn't understand the way the Vecchio's worked. Once they
latch on to someone, they're part of the family for keeps. 
        "I am not your Mother, Stanley." Ma Vecchio sniffed. "But if I
were I would lay you over my knee for such a comment. How you could think
that the love and affection we offered you was a pretense?" Sensing the
woman's anger Ray tried to explain. 
         "I never meant that!" he exclaimed frustrated, then lowered his
voice, ashamed. "I..I'm sorry. I don't mean to shout. Please, Mrs. V, I'm
not sayin' I don't appreciate yer feelin's fer me, I..I just don't quite
understand them. I took yer son's place while he went off fightin' the
mob,  I was a constant reminder of the danger he was in and the fact that
he was missin' from yer lives. I woulda resented me in yer place, I
just..I never figured out why you didn't." 
        "Someone had to do it, Stanley." Pressed Mrs. Vecchio wisely.
"Your presence was here to protect my son and we were grateful for that,
As for why we like you, you are a charming and sweet man, who would not be
taken with you?" 
         "If you say so, ma'am." Ray replied, wisely deciding it was silly
to argue with her. 
         "I am glad you stayed here with Francesca." She commented,
changing the subject suddenly. "She does not like to be here alone, the
house is big and makes noises at night. I am sure she felt safe with you
here." 
         "Yah," Ray muttered. "I'm sure she did." 
         "Do you not still like my Francesca?" Asked Ma. Vecchio." I know
that sometimes she talks too fast and to often and I have seen you get
frustrated with her, but she is a good girl really." 
         "I know." Ray admitted and Frannie smiled pleased. " She deserves
to find a nice guy who will spoil her and protect her." Francesca was
mildly surprised at his comment, but a nagging feeling that Ray was hoping
someone else would take that role. 
        "You are nice, Stanley." Pressed Mrs. Vecchio. "I know you would
protect my Francesca." Francesca heard Ray choke on what was most likely
his coffee. "Then you could get married and truly be a part of the
family." Francesca decided to finally rescue the poor detective. When she
walked into the kitchen in time to hear a very red faced Kowalski say. 
         "I won't be marryin' anyone again, Ma." He stated firmly, having
not yet noticed Francesca. "I went that route once and so did Frannie, I
doubt she'd be willin' to take up the torch again either." 
         "Ma!" Francesca exclaimed as though having just discovered them.
"What are you doing home?" 
        "I asked your cousin Charlie to drive me back an let Maria an the
family stay." Explained Mrs. Vecchio, moving to kiss her daughter hello.
"I was worried about you being here alone, but when I arrive I saw that
Stanley was already here with you and I worried for nothing. It is nice
that he stayed, but really, Francesca..he could have used the guest
room-that sofa is too uncomfortable." Francesca exchanged a puzzled glance
with Ray, who's gaze more or less told her to go with the flow. 
         "Well, it was late and we weren't thinkin' right, I guess." She
muttered. Mrs. Vecchio patted her cheek then mentioned she needed to go to
unpack, since Ray had already brought her bags up to her room. Francesca
waited until she was gone then turned a grateful smile on Ray. "Thanks fer
protectin' my honor, though I think Ma woulda been tickled to find us in
bed together." Ray didn't comment as he rose and placed his empty cup in
the sink. 
         "I'm just glad I woke up before she got here and was already
downstairs." He finally said, moving away from the sink and heading for
the living area to retrieve his jacket. Francesca approached him from
behind and wrapped her arms around him, snuggling into his back. 
         "Since Ma is back, wanna go to yer place for tonight?" she
suggested with a purr. At first Ray didn't move or speak, then he pulled
away from her and shrugged into his jacket. After a long moment he turned
to face her. 
         "Listen, Frannie." he began and Francesca immediately began to
worry from the tone of his voice. "Last night was good..well, great
really, but it shouldn't have happened." He winced at the stricken look
that stressed her beautiful face. "I ain't regrettin' it, just...you
deserve someone who ain't...damaged goods." 
         "Yer not..." she started to protest but he waved her away and
headed for the door. He didn't want to get into this right now. 
         "Stella screwed me up worse than I thought, Frannie." He told her
his hand on the door, his back to her. "I got nothin' to offer..."
Francesca grabbed him and turned him to face her, pressing her lips to his
in a desperate kiss. Ray started to pull away but she wrapped her arms
around his neck and pressed against him, daring him to deny her after what
they had shared. She felt his body respond to her almost instantly, his
arousal pushing against her thigh, and she shivered at the idea she could
cause such an effect. She slipped her tongue inside his mouth, willing him
to kiss her back an he did, with a defeated moan, as his arms came around
her and almost lifted her off hr feet to give him better access to her
wonderfully moist mouth. Finally the need for air drove them apart. 
         "Seems to me what you have to offer is pretty damn good, Ray."
She taunted, her tongue darting out to moisten her slightly swollen lips.
"Now, what time shall I be at yer place?' Francesca sensed his hesitation
still, despite the passion he had just shown. Finally he shook his head
and opened the front door. 
         "I'll see ya Monday at work, Frannie." He said stepping outside
and heading for the GTO. Francesca called after him but he turned a deaf
ear to her, as he quickly unlocked his vehicle and slid inside. He didn't
look back at her as he pulled out of the driveway, knowing if he did he
would not be able to leave, and so he didn't see the tears that stained
her beautiful face. 

         Ray placed the last of his paperwork on Welsh's desk and headed
back to his own desk to retrieve his coat. He was actually leaving early
today, he had promised his Mother he would come by for dinner and for once
he hadn't made up an excuse not to go. Guilt got the best of him sometimes
and avoiding his Mother, a woman he loved dearly, played on his heart. It
wasn't her he was avoiding per say, just the constant string of questions
that seemed to come with every visit. What are you doing with your life?
Are you dating anyone? What about grandchildren? Are you taking care not
to get in too much danger? Are you eating properly? 
         He hadn't really spoken to Francesca in almost two weeks, he
wasn't avoiding her either, just keeping strictly to work related issues.
She was distant from him and sometimes irritable, but he understood that,
he had hurt her and he deserved her rage. He shook his head clear of such
depressing thoughts and propped a toothpick into his mouth as he shrugged
into his jacket, then headed out, careful to keep his eyes straight ahead
as he passed Francesca's desk. 
         "Ray?' the hesitant voice called and made him pause. He dropped
his head, not wanting to turn back but compelled to do so. He forced a
nonchalant grin to his lips and turned to face her. 
         "Yah, Frannie?" he inquired calmly. Damn she looked good today,
even in her civilian aid uniform, though he could tell that under the
makeup she wore she had traces of dark circles under her eyes, was she
having trouble sleeping? Immediately his concern peaked he approached the
desk. "What is it, Frannie?" She sniffed and he realized she was trying to
hold back a flood of tears. She looked so fragile and scared, he went down
on one knee beside her and took her hand in his. "What is it, baby?" 
         "M..Ma." she managed as a single tear slipped out. "S...she...Oh
Ray!" Her face crumbled and he folded her in his arms. 
         "Oh Christ!" He whispered against her hair. "I'm sorry, Frannie.
Tell me what you need me to do, sweetheart, anything just tell me and I'll
do it." Frannie sniffed again and brushed away her tears as she
straightened. 
         "I..I can't go home yet, I'm too upset." She wiped her cheeks
again. "C..Can we go somewhere and talk, please?" Ray nodded and rose,
pulling her with him. He helped her on with her jacket and handed her her
purse than escorted her out. He settled her in the GTO, then rounded to
the driver's side and slid behind the wheel. He pulled out his cell phone
and dialed his parent's number, as he started the car and pulled out of
the department lot. He quickly explained that an emergency came up an he
had to take a rain check on dinner, he then promised he would be there the
following Sunday for sure. He listened to his Mother's concerns briefly,
then finally managed to get off the phone with her. 
         "Where do ya wanna go?" he asked Francesca quietly. "There's a
Chinese..." 
         "Your place, Ray." She requested, and immediately sensed his
hesitation. "I don't want people staring at me when I'm like this okay?"
He sighed and nodded. He couldn't blame her for that, though he suddenly
tried to remember what kind of shape his apartment was in presently. 
         Luckily his place was reasonably neat for a change, only an odd
sock and an unfolded newspaper laying around on the table. He shoved them
both into a corner and settled her on the sofa, then retrieved a can of
soda for her and one for himself. He sat on the sofa next to her and
waited for her to explain. She sipped her soda quietly, glancing around
his apartment curiously, having never been there before. Finally she
began. 
         "They found a lump in Ma's breast." Ray held his breath. "They
don't know if it's benign or not and they have to do a lumpectomy to see.
Ma is okay about it but the rest of us are scared to death." She gave him
a pleading look. "What if it's cancer, Ray? What if it spreads?" 
         "You  just have to think positive Frannie." He pressed
supportively. "Has yer brother been told?" 
         "He wanted to fly in on the first plane but Ma said no, he was to
wait until they knew if there was even something to worry about, but you
know Ray, he'll probably show up soon anyway." Kowalski nodded and she
stared at him. "Will you come home with me? Ma wants to see ya." 
         "Of course." Ray returned without prior thought of what he was
saying. "Did you want to go now or...?" 
         "Later." She protested leaning into him. "Right now I just...I
just want ya to hold me, Ray." Ray nodded and pulled her into his embrace.
How could he deny her? His feelings for her had been growing the past two
weeks since they had made love and though she had not pushed him about it.
He suspected she wanted a relationship with him, but Ray had lost most of
the people he had ever cared about by letting them get to close. He just
couldn't take that chance again with Francesca. But he would be here for
her during Ma Vecchio's illness. 
        He rocked her quietly, listening to her soft sobs, until finally
he realized she was asleep. Carefully he pulled her up in his arms and
stood, bringing her into the bedroom, at least he could offer her a few
hours sleep, and it looked like she needed them. He lay her gently on the
bed, removed her shoes and pulled the quilt over her sleeping form. 
  
  

         Francesca glanced over at Ray, who was speaking quietly to Welsh
about a case, as she nibbled on a saltine. The cracker did not help the
nausea that churned in her stomach, due either to what she had to tell the
blond detective or something else entirely. Her mother had been given a
clean bill of health, so some of the stress and worry was off of her, but
not all of it. She took a deep breath, she had been trying to find the
opportunity to talk privately with Kowalski for almost two weeks now, but
he was avoiding her again and frankly she was sick of it.  They had only
made love one other time, since the evening he stayed at her house, and
that was actually in the GTO when he went to drive her home one night.
They had both been arguing about something and then the next thing she
knew they were kissing. Well, the rest was unexpected but completely
thrilling, as Ray had taken her with an animal like urgency. 
        She honestly didn't know how he was going to take the news, she
was still unsure how he felt about her, truly felt about her anyway. She
knew he was very attracted to her, that he even enjoyed spending time with
her, but just when they would start to get closer, he would pull away and
go into his brotherly routine, treating her as he always had when he was
pretending to be Ray Vecchio. 
         Finally she made up her mind, she had to tell him, he had a right
to know and she couldn't wait forever. She stood up, finished off her
cracker and slowly walked up to them. Welsh seemed startled by her
interruption, Ray merely annoyed. 
         "What can I do for you Miss. Vecchio?" the lieutenant asked
calmly. 
         "I...I need ta talk to Ray, Sir." She informed glancing at the
detective beside her. 
         "Can it wait Frannie?" Ray inquired quietly, watching the young
woman bite her lip and shake her head. He sighed. "Gimmie five minutes,
then and I'll be wit ya." She nodded and returned to her desk, watching
the two men continue to converse. A server cramp hit her and she bolted
from her chair to get to the ladies room before she lost her lunch all
over the squadroom floor. After splashing some water on her face and
attempting to restore some color to her pale cheeks with her makeup, she
exited the bathroom and came face to face with Kowalski, who was leaning
against the wall. His gaze swept over her quietly as he pushed off the
wall to stand more erect beside her. 
         "H..Hi." she managed, trying to hide her surprise at finding him
there, as she pushed a lock of her hair away from her damp face. 
         "Ya okay?" he asked gently and she bit back a sigh. How could he
act so concerned one minute and ignore her the next, she was going crazy!
She nodded and hid her shaking hands by folding them behind her back. "Ya
said ya needed ta talk ta me?" 
         "Um..can we go somewhere private?" she requested huskily, her
throat was raw from vomiting. Ray shrugged and moved toward the back exit,
waiting until she caught up to him before opening the door that led to the
department's parking lot. He unlocked the GTO and allowed her to get in
first, then slid in himself. He closed the door and waited, not turning
the engine. Francesca tried not to think about the last time she had been
in the vehicle, how easy it would be to just lean forward and try for a
repeat performance of that night almost three months ago. 
         "I ain't got a lotta time, Frannie." He explained picking at his
sun visor. "I've gotta run down some leads fer a case. So what'cha need ta
talk privately ta me about?" Francesca tried not to let her temper get the
best of her, but she couldn't help it. 
         "If you had talked ta me the hundred other times I asked ya
wouldn't be rushed now, Ray." She accused folding her arms in front of her
angrily. He shrugged, unable to deny her charge. 
         "I don't wanna fight." He sighed. They seemed to be doing that a
lot lately. "Now what did ya want?" 
         "Are ya sure ya got time ta listen to me, Ray?" she retorted
sarcastically. "I mean I wouldn't wanna be takin' ya away from yer
valuable work now or anything." 
         "Frannie, just talk, or let me go." He warned in a voice that
informed her his own nerves were frayed at the moment. She wanted to
scream at him that she never wanted to let him go, that she wanted to stay
with him forever, but without knowing how he felt about her she was afraid
to take that leap. She had made that mistake before, she would not play
the fool again, never again. 
         "I..I want ta know how ya feel about me." She finally demanded,
surprised the words had gotten past her lips. Ray didn't even glance at
her, he just sort of tilted his head in a way that told her he was
considering saying something he might regret later. 
         "Why d'ya need ta know dat now?" he asked with a trace of edge in
his voice. 
         "Because I do." She countered boldly. "I have a right ta know
don't I? I mean we have...well, it's not like we're strangers Ray.
We've...you know....and I think I deserve ta know." 
         "What d'ya wanna know Frannie?" he returned fiercely, finally
meeting her gaze. "Ya wanna know that I want ya? I do. Ya wanna know dat I
miss ya when yer not around? I do. Yer wonderin' if my intentions are
honorable? Hell! I don't know. What d'ya want, Frannie? Just tell me what
ya want me ta say so I can get back ta work." Francesca stared at him as
hot tears pierced her eyes and her lower lip began to tremble. 
         "You bastard!" she sobbed throwing open the door and bolting from
the vehicle. Ray closed his eyes tightly then threw a fit inside the car,
hitting whatever he could with his hands as fast as he could. Finally he
slumped in his seat and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands,
trying to push back the tears that threatened to surface. God he wished
Fraser were here, wished he had someone to talk to. 
         "Ray?" a familiar voice called to him and for a moment he thought
he had dreamed it. He shook his head and pressed his hands against his
eyes harder, until he was seeing spots of speckled light in the darkness.
The voice sounded again, calling his name and he started to believe he was
finally loosing it. He was beginning to hear the Mountie's voice in his
head again, he had thought that had stopped. A knock on his window
startled him and his eyes flew open, catching a familiar shade of red in
his direct line of sight. His eyes followed the color upward into the
shining blue eyes of Benton Fraser. Ray couldn't get out of the vehicle
fast enough, as he threw back the door and leapt out to throw his arms
around his friend and partner. Fraser hugged him back and smiled. 
         "Fraser!" he cried joyously. "Yer back!" Fraser smiled and
stepped back, though they were still holding each other loosely. 
         "How are you, Ray?" he asked, his own eyes alight with
excitement. Ray laughed and pulled the Mountie back into his embrace
again. 
         "I'm good now, Buddy." He whispered. "I'm good now." Fraser felt
tears prick his eyes as he returned the detective's embrace once more. Ray
had lost weight, he looked like he hadn't been sleeping and he seemed so
relieved to see Fraser the Canadian automatically felt guilty for ever
having stayed in Canada and leaving his partner to return alone. Ray
finally stepped back and glanced around. 
         "Diefenbaker's at the Consulate, Ray." Fraser supplied, guessing
who the detective was looking for. "I wanted to...see you alone first."
Fraser shifted his weight in a nervous two step that Ray had missed
seeing. "I..I wasn't sure you would...well how you would react to..." Ray
stared at him. Did the Mountie honestly think Ray wouldn't have wanted to
see him? 
         "Frase, yer my buddy." He assured. "Of course I would want ta see
ya." He awarded Fraser his most dazzling smile and Fraser immediately felt
foolish for ever having believed Ray's feelings for him had changed. "How
long can ya stay? Are ya here fer some Canadian thing I don't know about?
Where are ya stayin'? Can ya stay at my place? I got plenty o' room,
course ya know that's a lie, but I'd like ta have ya anyway and..." Fraser
finally interrupted. 
         "I'm staying at the Consulate currently, Ray." He explained
trying to answer his friend's barrage of questions. "I wouldn't want to
impose on you, but if you like Diefenbaker and I would be delighted to
stay with you until we find a place of our own and..." 
         "A...a place of yer own?" Ray repeated surprised. "D..Does that
mean yer..." 
         "I've been reinstated at the Consulate, Ray." Fraser confirmed,
gauging his friend's reactions. Now comes the hard part he thought
worriedly. "I've moved back to Chicago and have resumed my old position,
or rather Inspector Thatcher's position." Ray stared at him, a thousand
different emotions fluttering across his features, so many Fraser lost
count. He wasn't at all sure how Ray would react to his news, though from
what he had seen so far, it looked to be favorably, still he wasn't sure.
He suspected Ray still harbored some resentment for their partnership
breaking up and Fraser staying in Canada. 
         "Y..yer an Inspector now?" Ray croaked and Fraser immediately
grew concerned. "H..here in Chicago? Yer...yer stayin' here? W...what
about yer home?" Fraser caressed his eyebrow and shuffled his weight
again, perhaps this wasn't a good idea. Obviously Ray had only considered
he was here for a visit, not for good. 
         "Ah...yes." He replied finally. "I..I found that going home was
wonderful but it...that is...it was no longer home to me, Ray." He met the
other man's gaze. "Home was with the people I cared about, who cared about
me, and those people were here in Chicago." Ray suddenly seemed unable to
stand still, as he bounced from leaning on the car to standing up straight
to pacing in front of Fraser. 
         "Um...Frase, I..I though ya knew." He muttered. "Vecchio's gone.
He and Stella moved to Kentucky or somewhere..." 
         "I'm not talking about Ray Vecchio, Ray." Fraser explained
gently, watching the blonde's eyes dart around then finally land on him.
"I will miss him of course, he is my friend and was my partner..." 
         "Yah an he's gone though now so.." mumbled Ray and again Fraser
interrupted him. 
         "There are other people here more...important to me, Ray." Fraser
insisted and Ray glanced at him with what Fraser could only describe as
shock and perhaps a bit of fear. 
        "Ya came back fer Frannie?" he demanded hoarsely and Fraser shook
his head, watching as his friend sagged slightly in relief. 
         "I care for Francesca." Fraser admitted watching Ray tense again.
"But as a sister, not as anything more." Ray relaxed again and Fraser
suspected the cop was wound so tight he could be used as a bungee cord at
this point. 
         "T...then who...?" he questioned dazed. "Thatcher's gone,
Turnbull's gone...Vecchio..and not Frannie..." He met Fraser's eyes. "I
don't understand Fraser, most da people ya care about are gone." Fraser
shook his head and placed a hand on Ray's shoulder. 
         "No Ray." He insisted. "You are still here." Ray stared at him
astounded. 
         "Y..Ya came back fer me Frase?" he asked in disbelief and Fraser
nodded. "T...To do what? Yer an Inspector now ya can't..I mean ya won't
be.." 
         "I am assuming my old duties, Ray." Fraser informed. "Including
my Liaison with the Chicago Police department" He regarded Ray carefully.
"If the position is still open." 
         "Y..ya mean ta be..be my partner?" Fraser suspected the detective
was close to tears, as was he, if he was wrong and Ray didn't want him
back he would be crushed. 
         "If you'll have me, Ray." He offered watching as the blond
attempted to get a reign on his emotions. 
         "Yah, sure..sure Fraser that'd be..fine that'd be good." Ray
assured confidently and Fraser smiled relieved. "But if yer the Inspector
how ya gonna..." 
         "Actually I am only acting Inspector." Fraser explained. "I have
been promoted, but if I become your partner I will take a reduction in
rank, and resume my duties at the consulate, but I will have say over what
goes on. Does that make sense?" 
         "Ya'd take a demotion just ta be my partner, Frase?" 
         "In a heart beat Ray." Fraser returned easily. Ray grinned and
threw an arm around his friend's shoulders. 
         "Fraser, I could kiss ya." Fraser tilted his head and said
seriously. 
         "Well, if you insist, Ray, though I did just come from the
station and have not yet had the opportunity to shave." Ray stumbled back
slightly. 
         "I meant figuratively ya moron! " He exclaimed then his eyes
narrowed on the gleam in the Mountie's eyes and he realized he was being
teased. "Fraser? " 
         "Yes, Ray? " 
         "Yer a freak." 
         "Understood." Both men grinned at each other then Ray grabbed the
Stetson of his partner's head and plopped it on his own as they headed
into the station, while Fraser chuckled. 
  

         Ray headed up the steps to the Vecchio's home, Fraser followed
quietly, a silent support for his friend. Ray had finally broken down and
told him what was going on between him and Francesca and Fraser had
insisted that the tow of them needed to talk, so here Ray was. Fraser
always could get him to do something he didn't want to or was afraid to,
though right now he didn't even know if Francesca would speak to him the
way he had treated her two days ago. His hand was posed to knock on the
door, when it was suddenly thrown open and something hard hit Ray straight
in the face.  Fraser caught the blond as he stumbled backwards and stared
up into the furious expression of Ray Vecchio. 
         "Get outta here Kowalski!" the former detective demanded. "Ya
stay the hell away from my sister!" Ray K. Straightened and wiped the
blood from his lip, only Fraser's arms around him preventing the detective
from attacking the Italian in kind. 
         "What the hell is yer problem, Vecchio?" he screamed angrily as
Mrs. Vecchio, Francesca and Stella all rushed out of the house. Vecchio
grabbed his sister, preventing her from going to the man she loved. 
         "You stay away from here or I swear I'll kill ya!" he threatened
as Mrs. Vecchio hurried over to Ray . 
         "Raymondo, stop this!" she demanded but her son ignored her. 
         "I knew ya were trash the minute I set eyes on ya and now ya've
gone and proved me right but gettin' Frannie knocked up!" Ray K's eyes
grew wide as he stared at Francesca and paled visibly. 
         "W...what?" he asked dazed. 
         "Ray, this isn't the time..." Fraser began trying to be the voice
or reason, as Francesca finally broke from her brother and ran to
Kowalski. He pushed away from her. 
         "I..I tried to tell you." She sobbed reaching for him. "The other
day but you were so angry and I..." Ray stared at her with such pain in
his eyes she could barely stand to meet his gaze. 
         "Y...yer pregnant?" he gasped and she nodded. 
         "I..I don't expect anything Ray, honestly I just wanted ya ta
know." 
         "Damn straight she ain't expectin' nothin." Spat Vecchio coming
down the steps toward them and he was mildly surprised that Fraser placed
himself between the enraged Italian and his partner. He glanced up as
though noticing the Mountie for the first time. "Benny! Yer back. What are
you doin' here?" 
         "Leave them alone, Ray." Fraser pressed, ignoring his former
partner's greeting. Vecchio scowled and moved to push past him but Fraser
stood his ground. 
         "This ain't yer concern, Benny." He stated. 
         "It isn't yours either, Ray." Fraser countered firmly. 
         "She's my sister!" declared Vecchio furious. "Yer partner there
took advantage of her and then left her high and dry. Well I ain't gonna
stand fer it." He pushed at Fraser, surprised when the Mountie shoved him
back. 
         "I don't want to fight you, Ray." He informed coolly. "But I will
if you persist in trying to hurt Ray." Vecchio stared at him startled and
realized the Canadian meant it. Vecchio backed off, he wouldn't go up
against Benny, and he still considered the man his close friend. 
         "Ray, please Ray..." Francesca was pleading as the blond
continued to back away. 
         "I..I'm sorry." He whispered as he sagged against his vehicle.
"I..I never meant...A baby! Yer gonna have a baby." 
         "I can't give it up, Ray." She insisted misunderstanding him and
she immediately regretted her words when she saw the agony of his
expression. 
         "Give it up?" he shook his head. "P..please Frannie. Don't do
that. I..I'll stay away I swear. You never haveta look at me again.
Just..keep it okay?" Francesca shook her head, wanting to explain but he
was already climbing behind the wheel and tearing off down the straight,
oblivious to the fact that he had left Fraser stranded. Francesca turned
on her brother, tears streaming down her face. 
         "How could you do this?" she screamed at him. "He didn't know and
now he thinks I don't want him or the baby! Damn you Ray I wish you had
never come back!" She ran crying into the house her mother and Stella
hurrying after her. Fraser turned to Vecchio, who was staring at the
ground grimly. 
         "You have changed, Ray." He commented quietly. "I have seen you
be pushy, arrogant and sometimes mean, but you were never cruel. Ray was
coming over to apologize to Francesca for the things he had said, he
didn't know about the baby and I don't believe that if he had known he
would leave her out to dry as you put it. He loves her, Ray." 
         "I...I just...I lost it, Benny. I'm sorry." Vecchio offered. 
         "I'm not the one you need to apologize to, Ray." Fraser stated
and Ray nodded. 
         "Ya need a ride home, Benny?" Fraser shook his head. 
         "I believe I will walk, thank you kindly." 
         "Com'on Fraser, it's like ten miles, let me drive ya." He lowered
his eyes ashamed. "And I'll drive Frannie over there too, so I can
apologize to them both." Fraser smiled and nodded, that was the Ray
Vecchio he knew and cared for. 
         "That is a good idea, Ray, but I think you should wait until
tomorrow, give everyone a chance to calm down." Vecchio nodded knowing the
Mountie was right as always. 
         "Let me give ya a lift at least." Fraser accepted. 
         "Thank you kindly, Ray." 
  

        Fraser entered Kowalski's apartment and immediately smelled
tobacco and alcohol. He shook his head and closed the door quietly behind
him. Diefenbaker was sitting beside the sofa where he knew Ray was laying,
and the lights were off while soft music played. 
         "What am I gonna do Fraser?" the detective asked from his
reclined position before the Mountie could even speak. Fraser approached
him, gently removing the cigarette from his lips and dousing it in the
ashtray with the others. 
         "I wasn't aware you smoked, Ray." He remarked curiously, settling
on the other side of his friend as Ray sat up. 
         "I did when I was in high school." He muttered reaching for the
half-empty pack on the table and his lighter. "Picked it up again here
lately." Fraser took that cigarette from him as well and Ray glared at
him, then reached for his beer. He took a long swallow and tried to light
another cigarette but his hands were shaking so badly he gave up. Fraser
regarded him quietly, concerned that he must be very upset to pick up a
long dead habit. 
         "Are you all right, Ray?" he asked gently and Ray hung his head. 
         "I don't know." He sighed. "I..I didn't know Fraser. Ya gotta
believe me I had no clue that was what she was tryin' ta tell me. I mean I
completely fergot..I'm never that stupid when it comes ta..ah hell!" He
dropped his head in his hands. 
         "Do you love Francesca, Ray?" 
         "She talks too much..." he muttered between his fingers. 
         "Ray." 
           "And her clothes are way to revealin'..." 
         "Ray." 
         "She could try the patience of a Saint..." 
         "Ray!" Ray looked at him finally. 
         "What?" 
         "Do you love her?" Fraser demanded and Ray sighed. 
         "Yah, I..I think she talked me into it damnit!" Fraser hid a
smile. "What do I do, Frase?" Ray indicated the mess of crumbled paper
that littered the floor. "I..I tried ta write her a note..tell her I was
sorry..that I..but I can't and I don't know how and..." He shook his head
in defeat. "I blew it again. Just like Stella. I've lost her because I was
too damned scared of getting' that close again." 
         "You haven't lost her yet, Ray." Fraser announced softly. "We'll
explain..." 
         "Vecchio's right. I'm trash. I don't deserve Frannie..I..."
Fraser suddenly  grasped his arms and shook Ray. 
        "You listen to me Stanley Raymond Kowalski." He demanded as Ray
stared at him in shock. "You are not trash. You are a warm and loving man
and if Francesca Vecchio is the woman that makes you happy then fight for
her. Don't listen to Ray, don' t listen to anyone or anything but what
your own heart tells you." 
         "You are in love with Frannie, ain't ya Frase?" Ray asked
dumbfounded. Fraser dropped his hands and looked away. 
         "I..I was in love with her, Ray." He admitted reluctantly and Ray
saw the pain in his eyes. "But my loyalty to her brother prevented me
from... he'd made it clear that he did not want Francesca involved with a
guy like me and I accepted that because he was my friend and perhaps I
felt Francesca did deserve better." Ray listened quietly, trying to curb
his rising anger. Vecchio seemed to have a way of messing up everyone's
lives. 
         "Why didn't you ever tell her, Benton?" he questioned. "You knew
how she felt about you." 
         "I couldn't Ray, my conscience wouldn't allow it. Ray was my
partner my friend I simply couldn't...it wasn't right for me to have those
kind of feelings for his sister." Fraser stood suddenly the urge to move
overwhelming him. "He..he didn't approve of me, for her, Ray. I heard him
say so, guys like me weren't meant for girls like Francesca." Ray bolted
from the couch his own misery forgotten. 
         "What the hell does that mean, Fraser?" he demanded. "Christ ya
can't get someone better than you, what does Vecchio think Francesca is a
celestial virgin that only a God is suited for?" 
         "I..I never learned what he meant, I never asked him about it."
Fraser shook his head decisively. "Anyway, that is over with, I don't want
Ray to come between you and Francesca, I don't want you to let him bully
you like..." 
         "Like he did with you, Frase?"  Ray finished and Fraser nodded.
"Do you still love her Fraser? Is that the reason ya came back, ta see her
again?" Fraser moved away. 
         "I...Ray it doesn't matter. You are whom Francesca wants now
and..." 
         "Tell me Fraser. I wanna know. Are ya still in love with
Frannie?" 
         "Why does it matter? You..." 
         "Because if you are I know that she would want you over me and
I'll step back." 
         "Ray! You can't be serious! You just said that you loved her and
she is carrying your child." 
         "I know that. I didn't say it'd be easy, but I want her ta be
happy. If she thought that she had a chance with you again she'd
be...ecstatic. Knowing she's happy would..it would be enough for me.
Knowing..knowing you would be happy would be enough." Fraser stared at
him. 
         "You would really stop seeing her just so I could...could try to
win back her affections?" 
         "Yah, I would." Fraser turned away again so that his friend would
not see the tears that gathered in his eyes. Never, had he felt so touched
and treasured. Ray Vecchio had almost given up his home and his very life
to save Fraser. Ray Kowalski was willing to give up his child, the woman
he loved and his own last shot at happiness so Fraser would be happy. All
this time he had thought he was really alone in the world that no one was
close enough to him to truly be considered...He shook his head. He had
wronged both his Ray's. In his attempt to keep from being hurt he had held
back valued parts of himself, yet they were willing to sacrifice so much
for the part he had allowed them. He hated himself for his own cowardice.
He couldn't deny that the idea of staring over with Francesca had
partially prompted his return to Chicago, butt Kowalski was the real
reason and now he knew why. He wasn't in love with Francesca, he was in
love with his partner, and his partner deserved all the happiness life
could give him. 
         "There is no need for that, Ray." He assured finally. "I..I
appreciate what you are offering to do but, although I care deeply for
Francesca, I do not believe we are suited to be together. I believe you
and she are destined to share that bond." 
         "I still think she would prefer ya Fraser." Insisted Ray. "If ya
just tell her she'd be all over it..." 
         "Ray, I know what you are doing." 
         "W..what? What am I doing?" 
         "You are finding away to keep from getting to closely involved
with Francesca. You told me yourself that you intentionally seem to pick
women that will not like you or you do something to make the woman
mistrust or dislike you to keep from getting close, especially if it's a
woman you like." 
         "I..I don't..." 
         "You do, Ray I have seen you do it many times. I will not let you
do it with Francesca. She needs you Ray. You both belong together, accept
that she loves you and only you, as frightening as that is for you." Ray
shook his head, his thoughts confused, jumbled. 
         "I...tomorrow." He muttered. "Gimmie some time ta think, I'll go
see her tomorrow." Fraser nodded then Ray glanced up at him with hesitant
eyes. "Um..Fraser, will you come with me?" 
         "Of course I will." 
  

         Ray parked the GTO on the street, scanning the area for Vecchio's
vehicle but not seeing it. He took a deep breath and got out, Fraser and
Diefenbaker joined him on the steps. He knocked on the door and a moment
later Mrs. Vecchio pulled it open and wrapped them both in a warm embrace.

         "Come in my darlings!" she welcomed ushering them inside and
petting the wolf affectionately. 
         "Um..is Frannie around, Mrs. Vecchio?" Ray inquired formally and
the woman nodded. 
         "In her room, you will go up and speak with her yes?" Ray nodded,
glanced at Fraser who nodded his encouragement, then headed upstairs while
the large woman hustled her favorite Mountie into the kitchen for tea. Ray
knocked quietly on Francesca's door and a moment later she opened it,
wearing just a brief robe, her hair wrapped in a towel; she looked as
though she had not slept I days. 
         "Um..hi." he greeted almost shyly as she pulled him inside and
wrapped her arms around him. 
         "Oh Ray!" she cried. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you I..." 
         "Hush, baby." He cooed holding her protectively against him and
whispering in her ear. "It's my fault, I was bein' a jerk. I shoulda
listened. I'm so sorry I hurt ya."  Francesca lifted her head and met his
gaze. 
         "I really don't expect anything Ray I..." 
         "What the hell is this?" Ray Vecchio suddenly demanded, grabbing
Ray K. by the collar and pulling him back out into the corridor. "I was
willin' to admit I was outta line yesterday, Kowalski but you will not put
yer paws on my sister in my house!" Ray K. Backed up slightly, he didn't
want to fight with Vecchio, because that would end up hurting Francesca
more, but the urge to hit the arrogant Italian was getting harder to
ignore. 
         "Mind yer own business, Vecchio." He tossed angrily. "This is
between me and Frannie." Ray V. moved forward menacingly. 
         "Get outta here, Kowalski or I swear I'll..." Ray K. drew up
against him, refusing to back down to the threats. 
         "Yer gonna what?" he dared as Francesca tried to get between them
and keep them from coming to blows. 
         "Stop it both of you!" she demanded. 
         "Stay outta this, Frannie." Her brother warned, but Francesca
only tried harder and Vecchio tried to push her out of the way so he had a
clear shot at Kowalski, but they hadn't realized how close to the
staircase they were and just as Fraser shouted a warning, Francesca's
scream split the air around them as she tumbled down the sprawling
staircase. Her brother stared horrified as he watched his baby sister
bounce over the steps like a rag doll and screamed after her. Ray K.
almost fell himself rushing down the steps, falling on his knees beside
her where Fraser was already checking her for injuries as Mrs. Vecchio
called 911. 
         "Frannie!" Ray K. pleaded grasping her hand as Fraser fetched a
blanket, after telling Ray not to move her. Francesca stared up at Ray K.
Fear, pain and shock expressed in her tear filled eyes as she cradled her
stomach. 
         "Don't...I don't want to loose our baby!" she sobbed, in more
pain than she had ever believed possible. "Please, Ray. Promise we
won't..." A surge of pain hit her and rendered unconscious. 
         "No!" Both Ray's seemed to gasp, Ray Vecchio now beside his
sister as well as Fraser returned. 
         "God Frannie!" her brother whimpered, tears streaming down his
face. "I didn't mean it. Please God don't let her die or loose her baby,
dear God please!" Fraser glanced at Mrs. Vecchio who was saying a quiet
prayer for her children as the sounds of the sirens announced the arrival
of the ambulance outside. They took Francesca out, Mrs. Vecchio traveling
with her daughter as the other men piled into the GTO and sped to the
hospital. Ray Vecchio was sobbing in the back seat, racked no doubt by
guilt and the idea that they might loose Francesca. Ray Kowalski's face
was a stone mask, which worried Fraser even more than her brother's tears.

  

         Francesca opened her eyes and noticed the three men that kept
vigil at her bedside with a small affectionate smile. Her brother was
leaned against the far wall, his arms folded across his chest, turned away
from her in his own misery. Fraser, her darling Mountie, was stationed at
the window, his hands clasped behind him as he glanced out at the
darkening city of Chicago, as though awaiting his next order, but she knew
it was merely a pose he chose when deep in thought. Ray Kowalski was in a
chair by her bed, his head resting in his hands, his hair as defiant as
ever under his ruthless fingers. 
         "Ray." She whispered and all three men turned to her startled,
though her eyes settled on the one closest to her. He offered her a shaky
smile as he linked his fingers through hers, careful of the IV attached to
her arm. 
         "Hiya beautiful." he greeted warmly. "Glad ya decided ta wake up
finally." She offered him a small smile, though she felt like she had been
run over by a truck, she tried not to show it. She turned her attention to
Fraser, who offered her a gentle smile. 
         "How are you feeling, Francesca?" he inquired softly. 
         "Pretty rotten." She replied but her smile took the sting from
her honestly. "I'm glad yer back Frase." Fraser nodded, obviously pleased
by her words. Finally she glanced at her brother, who refused to meet her
gaze. "Um...Can I talk ta my brother alone, guys." Both men nodded and
moved to leave. Francesca was pleasantly surprised when Ray K. bent and
tenderly kissed her before he left, shooting Vecchio a look that seemed to
dare him to object. Her brother remained silent even after the two men
left. 
         "I'm sorry, Frannie." He finally said, his voice cracking with
the tide of emotion that threatened to over take him. He raised his eyes
to hers and she gasped at the unshed tears that shone there. "I'm so
sorry." That was when she knew and the anguish that suddenly consumed her
caused her to cry out in despair. Tears streamed down her brother's cheeks
and with a soft cry he bolted from the room as Fraser and Ray K. returned,
having heard  Francesca's pain. Kowalski suggested Fraser go after Vecchio
and he would take care of Frannie. 
         "It's okay, Baby." Ray assured gathering her into his arms as
carefully as possible so as not to aggravate  her injuries, as she clung
to him. "It will be okay." She cried on his shoulder for a long time, then
finally calmed down enough to pull away and stare  up at him. For the
first time she noticed that his normally vibrant blue eyes were rimmed
with red and slightly bloodshot. She reached up and touched a finger to
his cheek and he captured it, kissing it softly before pulling it away
from him. 
         "Our baby." She whimpered as he gently lay her back down on the
bed , noticing her medication was staring to make her drowsy again. 
         "It's okay, sweetheart." He assured. "You sleep now. Eveythin'
will seem better in da mornin'." She nodded trustingly and allowed her
eyes to close. Ray waited until he was sure she was asleep, then carefully
stood up, arranged the sheets closer around her and left the room. He came
face to face with Stella and Ma. Vecchio, and immediately turned away from
them. Stella called after him as he walked further down the hall, but he
didn't turn back, he couldn't deal with her now. He rounded another
corner, walking aimlessly, he barely registered the fact that he had
walked out the front door of the hospital and  was soaked within a few
minutes from the blasting rain. Still he continued, around another corner,
down the street across the avenue until he finally stopped in front of a
church a few blocks away. He stared up at the vision of the Virgin Mary
before him that stood at the entrance to the cathedral and felt his legs
give beneath him. Wet, cold, and kneeling in a puddle of water on the hard
granite steps, Stanley Raymond Kowalski wept for the loss of his son. 
  

         Francesca did not wake again until the next morning and quietly
took her mother fussing over her, fluffing her pillows, offering to fetch
her some tea or magazines, anything for her little girl. Fraser stopped in
on his way to work, assuring her she looked radiant as always, even in the
dull white hospital gown against the stark white sheets. Her brother had
filled her room with every kind of flower imaginable, and she feared he'd
go bankrupt if he kept it up. They had spoken briefly that morning, thanks
to Fraser's insistence and support for her and her brother, and Francesca
had assured him she didn't blame him. But she knew that Ray blamed himself
for her loss and was making up for it the only way he knew, by showering
her with gifts. Fraser claimed he had not seen Kowalski leave the night
before, but had no doubt he would be in to see her as soon as he could. 
         "I will get you some of those puzzle books you like." Her mother
was deliberating. 'I saw them at the gift shop down stairs and I know they
will keep you busy." Francesca forced a smile. 
         "Thanks Ma." She returned, agreeing to anything that might get
the over protective woman out of her hair for awhile. She loved her Mother
but right now all she could think about was Ray Kowalski and why he hadn't
been back to see her yet. She wondered if he decided he didn't want to be
with her after all, or that maybe it would be too painful for him to be
around her now with everything that had happened. She suspected how much
he wanted children, which was what led her to believe he would be pleased
by her news, but he had been acting so squirly the last few months she
couldn't tell where he was coming from and that had scared her. She should
have made him listen, but she had let her fear of rejection run her off,
no doubt the same fear that seemed to keep Ray at a safe distance. 
         "How are you feeling, Miss. Vecchio?" inquired a deep rumbling
voice and Francesca glanced up to offer Lieutenant Welsh a surprised
smile. 
         "I'm much better, Sir thank you." She returned quietly. "H..have
you seen detective Kowalski?" Welsh nodded. 
         "He was heading out on a case when I left the precinct about an
hour ago." He informed handing her a small stuffed bear that held a get
well balloon and a basket of chocolates. She thanked him for the gift and
tried not to show her relief. If Ray was not there because he was working,
she could accept that, but the idea that he might be avoiding her nagged
at her. 
         "D..did he mention if he might stop by?" she asked hesitantly. 
         "I didn't get much of a chance to talk to him." Admitted Welsh.
"I asked him how you were, he said you were doin' better then he took off.
Ya know how he is, can't stay in one spot too long and now that Fraser is
back they're workin' a lot more on his more difficult cases." Francesca
nodded. 
         "Thanks fer stopping by, Sir." She repeated and he nodded then
said goodbye. Francesca wasn't much in the mood for visitors, though she
did want to go home. 
  

         Francesca was released two days later, her brother drove her home
from the hospital, once again asking if there was anything he could do for
her. He continued his offers as they arrived home and Marie and Mrs.
Vecchio fussed about her. Finally she released a cry of frustration and
everyone stared at her surprised. 
        "I don't wanna lie down, I don't wanna eat, I don't want anything
but to be left alone!" she demanded turning away from them and running  up
the stairs to her room and threw herself on her bed, hugging her
collection of stuffed animals to her body as she started to cry.  A few
minutes later a knock sounded at her door and she muffled for them to go
away. The knock sounded again and she sprang from her bed, prepared to
tell Maria, her brother or even her Ma to leave her the hell alone, but
when she threw open the door Ray Kowalski stood quietly on the other side.
She stared at him, part of her wanted to throw her arms around him in
relief, the other part was angry that he had not been to see her in two
days. The anger won out and she started to close the door in his face. Ray
nudged his foot inside and caught the door with his hand. 
         "Frannie..." he began but she had already turned away and stormed
to stare out the window, her back to him. He sighed and stepped inside,
leaving the door open, perhaps in deference to her brother, she didn't
know. "Frannie, please, I know yer angry but let me..." 
         "Go away, Ray." She demanded folding her arms across her chest
defiantly, refusing to look at him, if she looked at him she would weaken
and she was too furious and hurt for that. 
         "Let me explain." He finished quietly. 
         "There's nothing to explain." She retorted. "Nothing at all. I
mean, yer a busy man, I certainly can't expect ya to have time fer me. I
was bein' stupid I thought..." she shook her head. "It doesn't matter,
just leave." 
         "Frannie, if I leave now, I ain't comin' back." He commented, a
hard edge in his voice. "Now are ya gonna talk ta me or..." She turned on
him, her eyes blazing. 
         "Oh! So now ya wanna talk!" she exclaimed. "Now ya wanna talk.
What about when I wanted ta talk, Ray. Huh? What about what I had to tell
ya but you wouldn't listen! Ya pushed me away like always. If you had
listened to me my baby wouldn't be dead now damn you!" She regretted the
words the minute they left her mouth, as she watched Ray almost stumble
backwards from her accusation. He had paled visibly, his eyes closed as
though in great pain. Her anger deserted her and she took a step forward.
"Ray I..." 
         "I'm sorry Frannie." He whispered, stepping back away from her as
his hand gripped the doorknob tightly behind him. "Yer right. I shoulda
listened." He shook his head woefully. "I never listen. I..I shoulda never
let Vecchio chase me off, I shoulda heard what ya had to say I shoulda..."
He winced as though a great pain assailed him. "I shoulda told'ya I loved
ya, when I knew dat was what yer were askin'." Francesca stepped forward
again and reached out to him, but again he stumbled away from her. "I
don't deserve ya Frannie. I'm s..so sorry fer what..." He backed up and
finally met her eyes with the gaze of a wounded animal. "I'm sorry." He
scrambled out of the room and Francesca hurried after him, calling his
name. She was surprised when she reached the landing, just as her brother
stepped in front of Kowalski as he darted from the steps. 
        "Hold up Stanley." He ordered, moving to grab hold of the
trembling detective. Ray K. pushed him away. 
         "I swear ta God Vecchio, I'll kick yer head in if ya don't get
the hell outta my way, I've had just about enough a you." He threatened
but the Italian stood his ground. 
         "I deserve it." He admitted quietly, "But that's fer later. Talk
ta Frannie, Ray, no more running." Ray tried to move past him again and
Mrs. Vecchio intervened, stepping up and pulling the blond into her arms
in a firm hug. He tried to move away from her, but he would have to hurt
her to get away and she refused to release him. 
         "Leave us." She ordered of the others, gently pulling Ray K's
head down to her chest, now that he was no longer fighting her as Ray and
Maria obeyed their mother. Francesca stepped toward them, having come down
the stairs. "Just for a moment, my darling." Francesca nodded and followed
her siblings into the kitchen. Mrs. Vecchio held Ray. K. quietly, he no
longer fought the embrace but he was not returning it either, his hands
stayed determinedly at his sides. 
         "Please let me go, Ma...Mrs. Vecchio." He pleaded softly and she
smiled slightly. 
        "You still will call me Ma, Stanley." She insisted gently. "You
know you are like my own, now do not hurt an old woman's feelings and give
me a hug." Ray shook his head, knowing if he allowed himself to accept her
love and affection, in his current state, he would be lost. 
         "Please...Just let..." he began and she held him tighter, as he
tried not to think how good her arms felt around him, how sweet she
smelled and how safe she was making him feel. 
         "You love my Francesca, yes?" 
         "Y..yes." 
         "Then why do you run from her?" she demanded and Ray shook his
head again. 
         "..no good..." he mumbled and she felt his arms finally go around
her, as he relaxed against her. "I..I can't...I..I killed
her..our...t..the baby." 
        "No, Stanley." Protested Ma firmly. "It was God's choice. An
accident that happened, you are not to blame, my Raymundo is not to blame.
There will be other babies." Ray broke away from her and dropped down on
the bottom step, his head in his hands. 
         "She hates me! I..I can't help thinkin' she hates me!"  Ma
settled on the steps beside him, her arms around his shoulders. 
         "She loves you, precious." She countered. "I see it in her eyes.
She is angry and sad. She feels many things now and must sort them out,
but do not give up on her."  Ray again shook his head. "Then she means
nothing to you. You have used my Francesc..." Ray's head shot up and he
stared at her in shock. 
         "No!" he denied, his eyes pleading with her. "D..don't say that!
I never...please Ma, I never meant..I do care about her I didn't..." She
patted his arm. 
     "You love her." She decided, seeing that her ploy had worked to get
him talking again. "Then you will work things out." Ray started to shake
his head in denial again, but thought better of it. He stood and moved
toward the door, Ma rose and stopped him. 
         "Please..." he began again. "I..I don't know what to say..I..how
can I make up fer..." 
         "Talk with her." Demanded Ma, indicating the living room. "Go
there and wait for her. I will send her in. You will do this because you
must do it, Stanley." Finally Ray nodded, he could not argue with her, it
was a loosing battle. He retreated to the living are and stood by the
large bay window. A moment later he heard a movement behind him and
turned, not quite able to meet Francesca's eyes. She watched him beneath
lowered lashes, her arms folded protectively across her chest, both waited
for the other to speak. 
         "Would you really leave and not come back?" she questioned
finally and Ray shook his head. 
         "Unless ya didn't want me ta come back." He admitted. "And even
then I dunno if I could stay away." Francesca raised her eyes to his. 
         "Why?" 
         "Frannie, I'm sorry I..." 
         "Why would you come back, Ray?" she demanded, interrupting him.
Ray stared at her for a long time, his fingers playing with the bracelet
on his wrist. 
         "Because..'cause I'd have ta see ya, Frannie." 
         "Why Ray? Tell me why? Give me a reason I should even bother..."
she slumped into the closest chair. "I..I was so angry with you. Why
didn't you come back to see me in the hospital? I waited and hoped and ya
never showed. Do ya know how that made me feel?" Ray ran a hand through
his hair. 
         "I..I'm sorry..." 
         "I'm sick of hearing yer sorry!" she exclaimed her fury returning
as she bolted from the chair again. "Sorry doesn't cut it! Tell me why?
Why did ya push me away? Why did ya not listen ta me? Why did ya leave me
alone in the hospital to face the death of our child by myself?" Ray
blinked at the ferocity of her attack and tried to think of what he could
say to ease the situation, but the only thing that came to mind only
caused him more fear. 
         "I love you." He pronounced carefully, watching her reaction
closely. "I love you Frannie. I pushed ya away because I love you. I
didn't listen because I love you. I..I let our baby die...left ya alone
because I love you." He shook his head, he didn't know how else to explain
it. "I...I got dis thing inside me, Frannie and it eats at me and tears
away my...it makes me think no one could really care fer me..no one could
really be mine and mine alone. I loose everybody I love and I..I didn't
want ta loose you. If I pushed ya away, if I never showed ya how I felt,
they..they wouldn't take ya away from me." 
         "They who, Ray?' she asked suddenly quiet as she watched him
struggle with his emotions. 
         "Dem, whoever it is dat hates me...dat destroys everyone I care
about...dat keeps me from gettin' close..." He broke off again, suddenly
dropping to his knees, as though he no longer had the strength to hold
himself up. "I'm a three time looser, Frannie. I got nothin ta give no
body." Francesca knelt beside him and took his face in her hands,  forcing
his eyes to meet hers and trying not to show her despair at the tears that
rained freely down the man's face. 
         "Not anymore, Ray. " she promised. "I won't let them take me
away. I'm yours for as long as you want me. Please want me, Ray. I love
you so much I can't stand to be without you." Ray put his arms around her
and crushed her to him. 
         "I want you." He whispered holding her tight, his entire body was
trembling with emotion. "God I want you. I'm s..sorry about him...so
sorry. I..I wanted to be his dad, really I did I..." Francesca hushed him
and cradled him in her arms, making soothing motions over his back and
through his hair with her hands. 
         "It just wasn't time." She stated quietly, though her own voice
was filled with tears. "We..we can try again if ya want." Ray lifted his
head and stared at her, both afraid and hopeful longing in his eyes. 
         "You...you want to have a kid..my kid?" he questioned in
disbelief. "Even after..." She nodded. 
         "More than ever now." She assured kissing him lightly on the
cheek. "I would be honored to have your children Ray Kowalski." Ray
continued to stare at her, then he moved back slightly and fiddled with
his bracelet. It released finally and he put it over Francesca's wrist
with shaky fingers, clasping it in place. 
         "I..I don't got a ring...can this do fer now?" Francesca stared
at his beloved bracelet and felt a tear roll down her cheek. Ray misread
her reaction. "I..if ya don't wanna wear it I.." She pulled her wrist from
his fingers and caressed the charm lovingly. 
         "I'd love to wear it, Ray." She assured softly. "It's better than
any old ring." Then she realized the ramifications of what he had just
done and her eyes widened. "A..are you askin' me ta marry ya?" 
         "Yes, please." He returned hesitantly, as though fearing her
rejection. She threw her arms around him again and kissed him soundly.
Someone cleared their throat and they jumped apart to find Ray Vecchio
standing in the doorway. Ray K. stood an pulled his fiancée to her feet as
the Italian approached and stuck out his hand. 
        "No hard feelings, Stanley." He offered quietly. Kowalski glanced
down at Francesca, who seemed to give him a look that said it was up to
him to accept her brother's apology. Finally they two detective's shook
hands. 
         "Yah, no problem." Kowalski muttered. 
         "Welcome to the family then." Vecchio returned as Maria and Ma
entered. Ma threw her arms around Ray K and Francesca joyfully. 
         "He is already family, Raymundo." She insisted kissing them both.
"So many grandchildren I will have, three is a good number to start with
then you can have more as they get older." Ray stared at her shocked. 
         "Um...yer pushin' the envelope there just a bit, Mrs. V." he
murmured embarrassed. 
        "Forget it, Stanley." Laughed Ray V. "What Ma wants, Ma gets."
Kowalski glanced at Francesca who smiled serenely up at him, and he knew
he was in trouble. 
  

The end.