thirty-seven Notes:  Rated NC-17, Slash, RV/BF.  Thanks to Cheyva for the beta.  Feedback goes to Strandia22@aol.com, and would be greatly appreciated with unabashed abandon.  This was started years ago and forgotten; it's a relief to have it finished instead of cluttering my harddrive.  http://members.aol.com/strandia22 Disclaimer:  Not mine, don't sue please, I'm Canadian.   Thirty-Seven By Strandia "Hey, Benny, you know something?"  Ray pulled the Riviera to a full stop right outside Fraser's building, and then turned to his friend with a toothy grin.  "This is the first Saturday in a few months that I'm actually dropping you off, instead of driving around the city in search of some criminal with you.  I might actually get to enjoy myself, tonight." "Well, I certainly hope you do," Fraser said with a small smile, innocent in all approximations.  A pleasant tingle ran down Ray's spine, and he mentally cursed both himself and Fraser's propensity for being so damn polite.  "Thank you kindly for the ride, Ray." "Yeah, see ya, Benny."  Ray waited, watching his red clad friend open the door of his building, turn, and give an uncertain wave.  He drove away, tires squealing against the pavement, sounding very much like he felt. This was sickening. He was supposed to have a house full of well-behaved Catholic children and an Italian wife.  He was not supposed to be a divorced cop lusting after his innocent, Canadian, male best friend.  The Lord worked in damned mysterious ways. He made sure to keep his hands on the wheel and his eyes on the road, although his mind and body were travelling to far different places.  This irrational need he felt was overwhelming him.  Everything the Mountie did drove him crazy.  A flutter of those long eyelashes.  A flash of a pink tongue against full lips.  Even those neck cracks of his were sexy. Considering Benny's ability to see through people, Ray found it amazing he was so oblivious to Ray's lust for him.  At least he hoped he was oblivious.  But he certainly seemed like it.  Really, it wasn't the sort of thing Benny would even consider thinking about. Fraser was gorgeous, that was a given.  He had that home-grown wholesome look about him, and Ray went for that.  He always had, really; Benny had forced him to un-suppress some unwanted feelings. He'd followed Fraser up to the North Pole or wherever the hell he'd gone, not just because he felt sorry for him, but because he was hot for the guy.  That was just the beginning, of course.  Fraser became his best friend.  He loved him.  Like a brother, as much as anything else. And because of that, because they were friends and Benny depended on him so damn much, and he depended on Benny, he wanted to stop wanting him.  He'd tried. Thinking about the inconvenience of it all helped.  Like all the missed Saturday nights.  His social life really was pathetic... Tonight, though, he would have fun.  Fun completely unrelated to police work or Canadians.  Unless there was a Hawks game on, when he'd concede the Canadian bit. **** It was not to be.  Ray looked around his quiet home in disgust.  His whole family had gone out for Saturday night except him.  Even Frannie had a date.  And he was sitting here in an empty house doing nothing.  At least this afternoon there had been the commotion of kids and grown-ups getting ready, rushing around him.  Now the silence engulfed the house, and Ray was lonely. Nothing on television, either.  He hated himself for even thinking it, but... he didn't even have any interesting cases to go out chasing after with Benny.  Of course, Benny was what... staying home to read a book?  He smiled at himself.  He could go over, and just hang out.  They were best friends, after all. No.  He should stay home and read a book, or jerk off, or something.  He didn't need Fraser to have fun, did he? He groaned even as he picked up his jacket and headed towards the door.  He should be going to a bar to meet women, not going to a Mountie's rat infested apartment for some stilted conversation.  He was obsessed with the guy... that was the only explanation. Well.  If he couldn't have the Mountie horizontal and panting his name, he'd have to take him vertical with some semi-intelligent conversation. **** The knock on the door startled Fraser and made his breath catch.  It opened before he could rise to answer it.  Fortunately, it was only Ray.  "Hey Benny, how's your Saturday night coming?  Cause I'll tell you something: mine sucks." Ray thumped down noisily onto a kitchen chair and set the 4 bottles of chilled beer onto the table with a rapid succession of clinks.  "I brought us a couple of beers, Fraser." Fraser carefully replaced his bookmark and folded the novel closed.  "Thank you, but I don't usually drink, Ray." "Well, one's not going to hurt you.  Anyway, they're Canadians."  Ray held out one with a smirk. Fraser nodded in resignation and took the cold bottle from Ray's sweating hand. Ray had to smother a gasp as their hands met. Fraser was wearing his white undershirt with his jodhpurs and suspenders, and his feet, surprisingly, were bare.  Ray wasn't sure he could stand it.  Fraser must be the only man on earth who could look sexy in striped suspenders. Ray took a beer for himself, and took a long swig.  "You know what Benny?  I'm depressed.  And you know why I'm depressed?"  Fraser shook his head.  "Because since you came to live in Chicago and you started coming with me to cases, and I watched you jump onto cars and lick stuff off the ground, help old ladies across the street and contribute to the cause of the day..." He let out a tremendous sigh.  "I've had virtually no sex life." Fraser blinked a few times, opened his mouth to speak, failed, and closed it again.  His second try was only slightly more successful.  "Er...  Ray..." "Yeah, Benny?" "I really don't see how your lack of sexual activity has anything to do with the fact that I currently reside in Chicago."  He nodded for effect. Ray threw his hands in the air, glimpsing the brown, wet-looking stains covering Fraser's ceiling.  "Benny, Benny, Benny!  Listen, can you remember the last four Saturday nights and what I, what we did?" "I think so, Ray.  Last Saturday we were looking for Mrs. Dawson's puppy, and then got caught in that hostage situation.  The previous Saturday night Inspector Thatcher, you, and I were chasing the so-called Flag Thief down the highway, after he had stolen the consulate's flag and replaced it with that of the Americans.  The Saturday night before that one, we were typing up reports about the incident which had occurred the previous Saturday night, the kidnapping of those tropical frogs, as we had caught the frognapper that afternoon.  Is that right?" "Yes Benny, that's right.  And for just about every Saturday night for two years I've been doing similar things." "Well, we have always been helping people, Ray." "Well, I need help.  Why won't someone help me, and give me a date?"  Ray sighed.  "Guess... humour me here, and just guess... when the last time I got laid was." Ben furrowed his eyebrows. "Laid, Ray?  As in... eggs?" "Benny!"  He slapped his forehead. "It's an expression.  Guess when the last time I...  engaged in sexual relations was." Fraser's eyes widened, and he dropped his eyes to look intently at his beer label.  "Well, I'm sure I wouldn't know, Ray." "I'm sure you wouldn't," Ray murmured.  "Well, it's been 14 months.  14 months!  Do you know how long that is?  More than a year." Fraser smiled quickly.  "Yes, I can count, Ray.  But I don't see your problem." Ray groaned in disgust.  "Right.  I should have known you wouldn't understand.  All those months alone in the Yukon must be pretty hard to bear.  I guess 14 months is nothing to you, huh?" Ben snorted.  Ray looked at him in shock.  Benny had never, ever snorted before.  Fraser smiled when he noticed the startled look.  "Oh, I apologise, Ray.  It's just that the Yukon is not as lonely as you might think."  If Ray didn't know better, he'd say that a wicked look was gleaming in Benny's eyes. "In fact, people are much more free with their sexual inhibitions up there than in most parts of North America." "What are you saying Benny?  I wasn't even sure you even knew what sex was, let alone...  well, that." "Well, that's just silly Ray." Ray gaped at his friend.  "Look at it from my perspective, Fraser.  The only woman I've ever seen you interested in was..." He stopped abruptly, not wanting to bring her up. "I do admit that since I arrived in Chicago, I have not been overly occupied with sexual relations.  And yes, to be honest, I have been quite celibate since Victoria left." Ray continued to stare at him.  "And before you arrived in Chicago, Fraser?" "Well, Ray..." Fraser blushed, and lowered his eyes demurely.  One eyelash flutter and Ray would be lost. "Tell me, Fraser." "I suppose one could say that I had a reputation for being the town playboy, of a sort.  I was, of course, younger then." "The town... Fraser, how many women have you slept with?"  The answer to the question was suddenly drastically important to Ray.  Fraser might not be as innocent as he thought. "Ray, you are asking a multitude of rather personal questions, which, I'm sure, have no relevance to..." "How many women, Fraser?" "I really don't see why I should answer you." Infuriating.  Ray could sense that an Inuit story, completely unrelated to sex, was about to spew out of Fraser's lips.  "Fraser, give me a break!  How many women?" "Just the women, Ray?" Ray exhaled loudly.  The air in the squalid apartment seemed to drain of oxygen.  The look on Fraser's face was not in the least bit facetious.  And Benny wasn't that good a liar, was he? "Geez Benny, guys too?"  A frank look and a nod were his answer.  Ray's brain twisted around itself until it brought him back to his original question.  "Let me rephrase the question then, how many *people*, as in members of the human species..." He stopped short and gave Fraser a horrified, questioning look.  Fraser raised his hands and shook his head swiftly in denial of the unspoken accusation.  "Good.  Okay, so people, Benny.  How many?" "I haven't exactly counted Ray..." Fraser looked off into the distance, apparently counting off numbers in his head.  "Around...  thirty-seven." "Thirty-seven?  Here I thought you were living the life of a monk, Mr. Straight-Laced Mountie, when you've been screwing thirty-seven people of both genders?" Fraser looked incredulous.  "Well they weren't all at the same time, Ray.  Of course, there were those select occasions, when the sweatlodge got out of hand.." Ray stared at Fraser, mouth open, thoughts swirling.  He noticed that the Mountie's mouth was twitching in one corner.  And, all of a sudden, as if he could no longer hold it in, Benton Fraser erupted into childish giggles.  The giggles turned into howls of laughter, and tears began to roll down his face. Ray continued to stare, until he realised that Benny must have been kidding.  He was sorry, suddenly, but the humour of the situation took over, and he then began to whoop with laughter himself.  Every time they calmed down, they looked into each others eyes and started up again.  Finally Ray could speak.  "Geez Benny, you had me going there, I'll admit it.  I mean, to think that you, of all people..."  He chuckled.  "And here I thought you were a bad liar." A slightly guilty look appeared on Ben's face.  Wait a minute.  "Benny?  You were lying, right?" "Well, Ray, you are correct, I did stretch the truth quite a bit. You can change thirty-seven to...  uh... hmm...  fourteen.  And that sweatlodge remark, that was only once, and it was only the two of us." Ray blinked.  "Fourteen?  And the two of..." "Eric and myself." Oh, fuck.  "Eric?  You don't mean...  Eric?  You mean you weren't kidding about the guy thing, Benny?" "Well, not really Ray.  I freely admit that I am bisexual.  Gender really isn't a problem for me." Ray's feet felt numb, and he could feel the corner of his eye twitch.  "You're just kidding around with me, now, aren't ya." "I'm afraid not.  Is that a problem?" Was it?  Hell no.  "No, Benny, it's not a problem, just a surprise. Why haven't you told me this before?"  Ray couldn't believe that Benny had just admitted he was bi.  He couldn't believe that Benny had just played a joke on him.  He couldn't believe that he was actually talking to Benny about sex.  He couldn't believe how his Saturday night had turned out.  This was better than tropical frogs, any night.  He wasn't sure how it rated against jerking off. Benny was grinning at him.  "Well, you never asked. I'm sorry to shock you, Ray.  Really.  I know you and just about everybody else thinks that I do live the life of a monk, which I suppose I have of late."  He chuckled.  "Funny, I don't have an Inuit story which covers this topic." Ray grinned.  "Yeah, Benny, too bad."  Fraser really was gorgeous when he smiled, Ray thought.  He didn't do it as often as he should.  Ray immediately shoved the thought to the back of his mind, as he had been doing for months.  But wait.  Fraser likes men, he'd said so.  He was attracted to him.  Why not tell him?  Maybe he could get some of that action he's been complaining about. But casual sex with Benny, in the confines of his own mind, was one thing.  The real possibility of it was another.  They were friends. Ray shook his head, beginning to get flustered.  He got up, and made his way towards the door.  "Thanks for the chat Fraser, it took my mind off things.  See you tomorrow."  He had to get out of there, so his brain might actually work. Ray tried not to notice Fraser's disappointed expression as he said, "Goodbye, Ray." **** Ray collapsed on the living room couch of his empty house.  All he could think driving home was the fact that 'gender wasn't really a problem' for Fraser.  Benny, bisexual.  Ray would have never seen that coming. Of course, the way Benny looked, he could get absolutely anybody.  Even him. Ray had always been left to fantasies in thinking about Fraser.  He had imagined telling Fraser he wanted him in a thousand ways.  And he had had the perfect chance tonight, but had he taken it?  No!  He had run out of there.  What a wimp. Fraser wouldn't let it screw up their friendship.  If he wasn't interested, he'd refuse him, simply, and then offer him tea or tell him a story or some other crap. He'd never know if he didn't ask.  He'd never have a better chance. There was still time.  He grabbed his car keys and stormed towards the door. **** "Ray.  This is somewhat of a surprise, twice in one night.  You're lucky I was still awake, but this book is truly engrossing.  Can I make you some tea?"  Fraser looked hesitant to Ray, almost uncomfortable, like someone had stolen his underwear. "That's ok, Fraser."  Ray started to pace, not sure what to say.  He'd almost run over a teenager on the way there, he was so preoccupied with trying to find the perfect words.  They hadn't come then, and they weren't coming now. He was seriously rethinking this plan.  He didn't need this.  He could go on, live in his fantasies, keep the hope alive that maybe one day, in never-never land or Canada or somewhere, he'd get the Mountie.  But if Benny turned him down tonight, he'd have nothing. Fraser had sat down on the edge of his bed, and was watching Ray pace.  "Ray?" "Yeah, Benny."  He stopped pacing, and faced Fraser. Benny's face was flushed, and he was avoiding eye contact.  "Ah.  You see...  Oh dear. Regarding my revelation earlier tonight.  I was afraid you might feel unsettled.  But Ray, you don't have to worry that I would, er, 'come on to you', as I believe is the current jargon.  If you were worrying about that, it isn't necessary." Ray blinked a few times, then grinned widely.  "Why Benny, you don't find me attractive?"  The intended sarcasm was nowhere to be found. Benny took it seriously.  "Ray, I don't want to complicate things..." Ray's eyes widened; he hadn't been expecting that sort of response.  "Benny.  Are you attracted to me?"  There was no answer; Fraser was looking down at his clenched bare toes.  Ray quickly moved to sit on the bed next to him, and reached out to turn the other man's head so that Fraser faced him.  The smooth skin of his cheek warmed Ray's fingers and sent a solid shiver down his spine. "Answer me, Benny." Fraser's eyes finally locked onto Ray's.  Ray was touched by the honesty and trust behind his potent gaze.  "Yes.  Very much so, Ray." Ray wasted no time; he leaned in and kissed Fraser as soon as the words left his lips.  It was deceptively gentle and teasing as their lips learned each other's shape and taste. The fantasy could become a reality.  Fraser was his for the taking. "Why didn't you just say so?" Ray whispered as they parted, moving his lips down Fraser's throat.  He bit down gently, then swirled his tongue over the tiny mark he'd made, relishing Fraser's muted gasp. Fraser put both hands on Ray's head, pulling him away from his neck and forcing him to look in his eyes.  "Ray!  You... you..." He dropped his hands and sighed. Ray leaned his forehead against Fraser's.  "Yeah.  Got a problem with that?" Fraser's eyes widened, and he smiled crookedly.  "Really?" "Yeah, really." Ray said, before pressing his lips to Fraser's again, more persistent this time.  This kiss was not gentle or languid, but probing, almost brutal.  Fraser's mouth complied against Ray's, allowing and participating in the plunder. Was this just sex with a friend?  And if so, why was he feeling so much?  He decided quickly that he didn't care; he had the Mountie right where he wanted him, and Fraser was willing and pliant, happy to be there.  He was attracted to him; he wanted this too. Ray almost died at the small moans Fraser kept making as he kissed him.  This was a fantasy it couldn't be this easy. But it was. Ray pulled Benny up the bed and rolled on top of him, never breaking contact with his lips.  He slid his hips so that his cock rested atop Fraser's... he was hard too, thank God.  His hand explored Fraser's neck, tickling him with feather-light touches as he teased him with his tongue. Fraser bucked against him when their hips met, moaning again, softly.  When Ray broke away from his lips to pay attention to his neck, he started to pant Ray's name quietly. His voice broke Ray's control and he started to rock against Fraser.  "God, Benny, you're so beautiful like this."  He kissed him again and their tongues came together, dancing in the rhythm of their hips. "Ray.  Ray.  I can't wait.  Ray..." He spread his legs and wrapped them over behind Ray's, pulling him closer and harder against him.  They were both thrusting against the other's clothed groin, too caught up in sensation to pause. "It's okay Benny, let go."  They moved more and more urgently, both panting roughly into each other's ears. "Ray, God, Ray, Jesus..." Benny's litany would have amused Ray if he hadn't been otherwise occupied... he was in grand company. Fraser thrust up against Ray one last time before exploding roughly with an exclamation of Ray's name.  Seconds later, Ray joined him, biting down on Fraser's shoulder as he came. Sensation flooded through his body, pleasure so intense that Ray was sure he must be dying.  They were still dressed, for God's sake; they were acting like randy teenagers, but it was so amazing, so fantastic. Better than he'd imagined.  Fraser wasn't the conservative, shy lover Ray had thought, obviously.  Maybe it wasn't the innocence he was attracted to, after all.  Ray stroked Benny's throat with the back of his hand, and slid off of his lover, coming to rest next to him on the bed. Fraser's hand reached over to hold his, the thumb stroking over the sensitive knuckles.  "Ray-" "Shh, Benny."  Ray knew he'd want to talk about it... like talk wasn't all they ever did.  Fraser turned to face him, however, and caught Ray's eyes with such an intense gaze that it was impossible to look away. "Ray, just... what does this-" Ray stopped Fraser's words with a kiss, sweet and gentle.  Benny was attracted to him, he'd said that much.  And Benny obviously knew that Ray felt the same way.  Why did they have to complicate it? Fraser pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against Ray's.  One hand moved down Ray's side and rested on his hip, stroking lightly, while the other still grasped Ray's own.  "What does this mean, Ray?"  Fraser closed his eyes, as if waiting for rejection. Ray sighed.  "Hell, I dunno, Fraser.  You tell me."  When Fraser turned away, Ray pulled him back.  "Naw, Benny, I don't mean anything by that, I just... I don't know." "Neither do I.  I feel-" He hesitated and scrunched up his face.  "I feel like everything is new, and I don't know anything anymore." Ray closed his eyes for a minute, then opened them.  "Yeah, I feel like that too.  But I know one thing."  He waited until Benny looked into his eyes.  "I know that we're partners, you and me.  And nothing's ever gonna change that.  We'll make it work." Fraser smiled and let out a deep breath.  "I know something else, Ray."  The hand that rested on Ray's hip slid down to the fly of Ray's pants, and with amazing dexterity, undid them. Ray shuddered as Fraser's strong hand caressed the sensitive flesh of his belly.  "Yeah, what's that, Benny." Fraser's hand slid underneath the waistband of Ray's silk boxers.  "I want you," he whispered as his hand lightly grasped Ray's hardening cock. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, he could only feel.  Ray squeezed Fraser's hand tightly while leaning forward to kiss him.  Their tongues flowed over each other like wine over an altar; their touch was holy, blessed.  "God, Benny," he moaned between kisses, the need as powerful as earlier. They pulled away from each other and silently undressed, their movements jerked and hurried.  His clothes discarded, Ray watched, amused, as Fraser threw his jodhpurs onto the floor and wriggled out of his white starched boxers.  His amusement was immediately replaced with desire, strong and infiltrating. Fraser leaned back against the wall and with dark eyes watched Ray slowly move forward, his movements graceful as a dancer.  Ray straddled his body and reached out to him.  The first touch of Fraser's perfect chest sent a jolt through them both.  Ray grinned at him.  "You're so gorgeous."  Fraser laughed, his voice low and husky. Ray leaned forward, catching Fraser's lips in a soft kiss.  He moved down his body, stopping to nip at his neck, then, sliding further down, to capture a dusky nipple between his teeth.  He flicked his tongue over it lightly, kissed it, and progressed down. He left wet kisses down over Fraser's belly, and, sliding down, drew his tongue over his inner thigh.  Fraser's body was tense, and Ray reached up to stroke his hip softly.  "You deserve to be worshipped, Benny," he whispered, and set a small kiss on the head of his cock. "Ray, please.  Ray."  Ray smiled at the desperation in Fraser's voice, but chose not to test it.  It wasn't the time for games.  He grasped the base of Fraser's cock with one hand, and engulfed the head.  He sucked gently, letting his tongue sweep around and down, tasting the salty skin. Fraser's low growls of pleasure were like a symphony to Ray's stimulated senses.  He used them as a key to his actions, learning what made Fraser pant. This was amazing, he was sure that he was insane, it just couldn't be so easy. He devoured Fraser like a condemned man devouring his last meal; although he hoped this wouldn't be the last time, Ray knew for sure that he was condemned.  He wanted to be here with Fraser for always.  He wanted never to be away from his long, muscular body, his annoying morals, and his low, sexy voice that panted his name. He sped up when Fraser's moans began to sound urgent.  This whole situation was urgent, but at the same time, it was something to be prolonged and savoured.  It was a symphony, but it was also a rock concert.  Both held the power of transcendence, both were power.  And this, the feeling of Fraser's pliant, willing body under his, the taste of his hard cock filling his mouth, was more powerful than any music. Fraser's hips bucked, his voice cried out in a sound of pure elation.  Ray caught him when he fell, relishing the taste of his come in his mouth, relishing the thought that he had brought him to this point of ecstasy. Fraser didn't take long to recover.  He roughly yanked Ray up towards him, kissing him roughly when his face came within reach.  Ray grasped at him urgently, covering his lips in wet, open-mouthed kisses.  The thought that Fraser could taste himself in those kisses only made his need more urgent.  "Benny," he moaned, stopping to attack the other man's throat.  He felt Fraser's rough hand close around his cock, moving only slowly, teasing.  "Benny, please... I can't wait." Fraser's hand moved faster, and it felt better than anything Ray had felt before.  He gasped for air, his breathing a harsh rasp against Fraser's neck as he fought to control himself, to make this last.  "God!" he managed, then "Benny, yeah, plea-".  The word stuck in his throat as he let go, the orgasm shooting through him like a bullet to the heart.  "God, I love you Benny," he moaned as Fraser pumped him slowly, bringing him through. He panted roughly, the physical pleasure sinking through his system slowly, while the joy, the transcendent happiness only rose.  He breathed in deeply, inhaling the salty tinge of his partner's flesh, and he knew.  "I do, you know," he whispered. Silence. Ray pushed himself up on a trembling arm, and looked into Fraser's face.  His eyes were open wide, still black with desire.  "I do," Ray repeated, his voice stronger, confident. Fraser nodded swiftly.  He reached to pull Ray in for a kiss, their full lips brushing over each other.  When he pulled back, Fraser turned his head to the side, closing his eyes tightly.  "I... Ray." "I know Benny.  I know."  Ray lay back down on his side, one arm draped over Fraser's chest.  He closed his eyes, his exhausted but happy body embracing the thought of sleep. "Ray?  In the morning?" "We'll still be partners, Benny.  Always." "Always," Fraser repeated.  "I... I love you Ray.  I always have." He could hear the blood rush past his eardrums, and he swore his heart lost a beat.  He held on to Benny's torso a little tighter and snuggled up to him as close as he could.  When the morning did come, he knew, without a doubt, that it would be good. End. Thanks! Any and all comments to Strandia22@aol.com.