Threesome	Threesome by RCWolf

 Author's webpage: http://www.angelfire.com/il/duesouth/

 Author's disclaimer: Characters are not mine, obviously. 
Please don't sue me, I have no worldly posessions that any sane person
would want. If you are insane, you can have my dogs, my guitar, and my
brother. But not my tapes!!!

 Author's notes: This is my first fanfic! It may not be paragraphed
properly, my WP sucks. Please forgive.

  

 

 THREESOME

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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ It's late. A Friday night. I feel like slammin' my
fist through the wall of my crummy little
 apartment, cuz I'm thinkin' about life and thinkin' I don't have one. The
truth is, I wouldn't
 even be pretending to have a life if it hadn't been for me taking that
call. 'Yeah,
 hello, how would you like to be someone else for a change, Ray?' It
couldn't have come at a
 more opportune time for them. My marriage was down the drain, my family
 was down the drain, hell, my career was practically down the drain. I was
even thinkin' of
 quittin'. Just throwin' my badge on the desk and walkin' out of there for
good. And then I got
 the call. The call that changed my life. It sounds stupid when you say
it, but the day I became Ray Vecchio changed my life, just like the way
the day I knew I was gonna become a
 cop changed it, or the way it changed when my dad left. It wasn't really
the job that changed
 it. Bein' a cop is pretty much bein' a cop, even if you're tryin to fill
in for someone like
 Vecchio. But Fraser, meetin' Fraser, that changed it all. There he was. A
real live Mountie,
 complete with hat and wolf. And rigid moral code. Fraser. The first
person I ever let into my
 life, let get a hold on me, since Stella, and it had to be Fraser. It was
a mistake, I knew that, of course. Bein' his friend, bein' more to him
then just a partner. A mistake takin' the charade any further then it
 had to go. But how do you resist someone like Fraser? How do you tell him
you can't
 be his friend because you don't wanna get hurt? He'd just say, 'I'd never
hurt you, Ray.' That
 way he has of saying my name, he can make me do anything if he just says
'Ray'. He
 asks me to do these things, these crazy, dangerous things, and I can
never say no. Not to him.
 Cuz that stuff, it isn't half so crazy as what I feel when I'm around
him. I don't know how to
 deal with it, I don't even know if I believe it. Cuz how do you believe
that you're
 fallin' in love with your partner? Mr. Straight himself. I mean, I'm
straight, but Fraser?
 I can't even think of him with a WOMAN. God, I'm crazy, I'm gonna go
crazier if I keep hanging
 around with him, lookin' at him, thinkin' about him, never bein' able to
touch him.
 He's so perfect, you just wanna touch him and see if he's real. Kiss him
and see if he feels
 the way he looks. I wanna do it to him, I wanna do it all the time and I
can't even look
 at him for long or he might notice. And if he notices? I'm dead, of
course. No more Fraser. So I hide it as best I can, pretend it's not
there. But it is there. Just thinkin' about him like this gets me hot, and
I have nowhere to go.
 So I put my head in my hands, and I rub my hair, and I try not to think
about him. It
 doesn't work. It never works. So I get up. I gotta keep movin', I can't
sit still, I can't let
 it get me. I always keep movin', cuz when you're movin', you're not
thinkin'. I get out of my
 apartment and get in my car and I drive. Not goin' anywhere in
particular, just cruisin' around
 tryin' to think about drivin' my GTO instead of touchin' Fraser. But I
guess it doesn't work,
 cuz I end up parked in front of his apartment. I know this is bad. Here I
am thinkin' about
 him worse then usual, he's drivin' me crazy, and I CAN'T see him now cuz
if I do I might
 do something we'll both regret. But ya can't stop something like this. I
get out of the
 car, and even though I'm screamin' inside, I get in the elevator and ride
up. I gotta
 see him. I just wanna see him now. I knock on the door to his apartment.
It's pretty
 late, and I'm thinkin' he might be asleep, but I hear the knob turning
and then the door
 opens. 'Ray!' he exclaims. He sounds surprised. Maybe even pleased. I
look at him, and my breath does this funny thing. I wanna hold him, make
him hold me and tell me it's gonna be alright, cuz if he doesn't I know
it's
 never gonna be alright again. But I don't. Can't. Won't. 'Hey, Fraser,' I
say as nonchalantly as I can. 'What brings you here, Ray?'he asks. He's
wearin this red shirt I've never seen him in, it's Mountie red
 and it looks soft like chamois. Jeans and boots. That thick, dark hair
isn't mussed at all.
 It never is. 'Nothin', really.' I say. He smiles suddenly, brilliant, and
his sky blue
 eyes light up as he realizes I came by just to see him. We're best
friends, see. 'Well, I
 was about to make myself a cup of tea. Would you like one, Ray?' he
questions. 'Yeah,
 Frase, I'd like that.' I tell him. He smiles again and steps aside,
letting me into the
 apartment. As I come in, Diefenbaker, Fraser's wolf, looks up from the
cot and starts waggin'
 his tail. His ears prick forward. 'Hey, Dief.' I say. Dief jumps off the
cot and
 trots over, pokin' my hand with his wet nose. I rub the warm white fur
and watch Fraser walk
 into the kitchen. As I pet Dief, I can hear him in there, walkin' around,
makin' the tea. He's whistlin' softly,
 some tune I don't know. Probably a Mountie song. I let myself remember
the way he smiled. Imagine what it
 would be like if he knew. If he wanted me too. Fraser... God, I'm wantin'
something I can
 never, ever have, and it's tearin' me to shreds. I shouldn't be here, I
really shouldn't be here, cuz I'm runnin' out of control. My muscles tense
to run. But then I think of that happy smile, and I can't do it to him. I
can't run away, cuz he won't know why, and I sure as
 hell can't tell him. So I stay and pet the wolf. Dief whines. He knows
something's botherin' me,
 but it's nothing he can fix so I just pet him and tell him it's OK.
Fraser comes out of the kitchen and 
 sits down beside me on the cot. I look at him and try to smile, and I
guess it works, cuz he
 smiles back. He hands me a cup of tea. I hold it between my two hands,
warming them and
 staring into the steam. Fraser does the same thing. We sit for a while,
lookin' at the tea.
 I can fell his warmth beside me, smell the clean scent of him. I wanna
touch him, want him
 to touch me, but that's never gonna happen. God, this is driving me
crazy. I'm gonna go crazy
 or I'm gonna jump him, one or the other, and I can't live with either. If
I go crazy, I'll
 probably kill myself, and that would hurt Fraser. If I jump him... I
don't know. I think about
 that. Would he let me? I think so. If I kissed him, I know he wouldn't
stop me. Maybe if it went
 further then that he'd get scared, but he wouldn't wanna hurt me. He
wouldn't fight back. He
 probably wouldn't even ask me to stop, cuz he'd know that would hurt me
too. Fraser's like that. I recoil from thought as if it'd bit me. Jesus,
am I sick? I'm thinkin' about rapin' my partner. My best friend. Cuz
that's what it would
 be. Rape. I take a gulp of tea. It's too hot, but I bite back the whimper
and take another. Pain
 is good. It distracts me from his proximity. Fraser lays a gentle hand on
my shoulder, and it burns me like a brand. _Fraser... If you knew what I
was thinkin', you wouldn't wanna touch me._ I twitch, and I know
 he feels it because he looks at me funny. 'Ray? Are you alright?' he asks
softly. His forehead
 is wrinkled with concern, it deepens those blue eyes and takes the smile
away from his perfect lips.
 'Yeah, I'm fine, Frase.' I lie. 'Just thinkin'.' I check him fast to see
if he buys it. He
 doesn't, I can see it in his eyes. He looks incredible when he's worried
about me, it's as if I'm the most important thing in his life. I know I'm
not, but lookin' at him, I almost think so. I do know he cares about me. I
just wish he cared about me the way I want him to. This line of thought is
goin' nowhere, fast. 'Hey, Frase, thanks for the tea. I gotta go.' I
blurt. I get up quick and start for the door,
 takin' one last look back. He looks hurt and lost, like he doesn't know
why I'm leavin' and he
 thinks it's his fault. I can't go like that. I stop. 'Frase...' I say. I
come back slowly and
 sit on the cot beside him. He looks at me, deep and searching. Then he
decides to ask me about it. I can see it in those clear eyes. 'Ray, if
something is bothering you, I can help.' he says firmly. He believes that.
He thinks he can do anything. Whatever's botherin' me, he can fix it. I
shake
 my head. 'No, ya can't.' I tell him. 'Well, I certainly can't if you
don't tell me what it is,' he points out. 'I can't tell you, Fraser.' I
say tiredly. I really don't wanna argue with him about this. He isn't
gonna let me off, though. 'Why not, Ray?' Patient, as always. 
 'Cuz... Just because I can't, Fraser. I really can't.' I look at him
hard, and he looks back with that soft, concerned stare. 'Talking about it
helps, Ray.' 'No it doesn't.' 'Yes, it does.' 'Fraser, just drop it.' I
snap. He drops it. We sit in silence, our tea forgotten. Just starin' at
each other, me angry, him worried. Then he speaks again, and the words
confuse me. 'Ray, I have never told you about I and Detective Vecchio.' he
says. 'Told me what?' I ask. He rubs his eyebrow with his thumb, his
expression distant for a few minutes.
 Then he looks back at me intently. The next words shock me. 'Told you
that he and I were more then partners. More then friends.' I stare at him,
disbelieving my ears. 'Are you tryin' to tell me that you and Vecchio...'
I trail off. 'That I fell in love with Ray, and he with me? Yes.' he
answers flatly. I am at a loss for words. 'Why're you tellin' me this?' I
ask finally. He licks his lips, the only sign that he might possibly be
nervous. His blue eyes are steady on mine. 'Because I think I know what is
bothering you, Ray, and.. And it's, well, it's been bothering me as well.'
 I don't understand what he's tryin' to say, and I hold up my hand. 'Whoa.
Whoa, Fraser. What're you talkin' about?' He licks his lips again, and I
can't help but flick a glance that way, hopin' he doesn't see it. He
pretends not to. 'The thing that is bothering you. It bothers me too.' he
says. I should understand him, but I don't.
 'What thing, Fraser? What do you mean?' I ask. 'Well, Ray, I've been
thinking, uh, about you. A lot. Lately, that is. Well, not really lately.
For a while, to be precise.' 
 He's actually babbling. Fraser. I still don't get it. 'What're you
sayin', Fraser, you've been thinkin' about me? Thinkin' about me how? You
don't want a transfer again, do you? Cuz if that's it, I-' He shakes his
head, stopping me. 'No, Ray, that's not it at all. What I mean is, I've
been thinking about you... And myself. A lot. Lately.'
 It's like bein' hit on the head with a two-by-four. All of a sudden. I
get it. 'You and I doin' what?' I ask anyway, not believing this. 'I think
you know what, Ray. You do know what, don't you, Ray?' he asks softly.
He's leaning closer to me with every word. Starin' into my eyes. 'Umm.' I
manage. He looks like he's gonna kiss me. He leans so close I can feel his
warm breath on my lips.
 'Ray?' he persists. He's definitely gonna kiss me. 'Wait... Fraser.' I
say. He stops. Looks at me, waitin' to see what I want. 'What about
Vecchio?' I have to ask. 'I thought you were in love with him.' It's a
stupid thing to say, especially when he's about to do what I've been
wanting for so long,
 but I say it anyway. He pulls back just a little, not far enough away to
let me know he's stopping, but far enough that I can't feel his breath
anymore. He looks sad. 'I am in love with him, Ray.' he says. The words
cut me, even though I expected them. Anger flares through me, white-hot.
'So, what? So this is just
 a fling? a one-nighter? Just sex?'
 I'm furious. My hands come up to push him away, to get out of here, but I
don't touch him. He looks startled by my outburst. 'Ray-' he starts. I cut
him off roughly. 'Don't... Don't even say it, Fraser. Don't bother.' I try
to get up, but suddenly he's there. Inches away. 'Ray...' His voice is
soft and breathless. 'You asked me once if I thought you were attractive.
Do you want to know what I think?' I don't answer him. He doesn't wait,
anyway. 'Well, Ray, I do think you are attractive. I think you are
beautiful.' Ever so slowly, he draws closer. I am frozen, starin' into his
eyes. I can't look away. He has this little smile, and it's doin' things
deep in my belly. I feel his hand cup the back of my neck, pullin' me
forward as he dips his head to mine.
 I can't breathe. I open my mouth to
 gasp for air, and he kisses me. Just the slightest brush at first, and
then harder as he parts my mouth with his tongue and dips inside.
 God... He tasts hot and sweet, very faintly of mint and honey from the
tea. His tongue feels like wet silk as it slides around the recesses of my
mouth. I'm drowning in the sensation. I feel my hands come up to grab his
head and hold him there, tangling in his soft hair as I lean forward and
kiss him back hard. I can't stop. He does. He pulls back and looks at me
and he's still smiling. 'A one-nighter, Ray?' he asks me. I can't talk.
I'm starin' at him like a goon, with absolutely no ability to make a
single sentance come out of my mouth.
 'Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray..' It's that thing I hate, that 'Ray' thing he does
to me. 'Can't you see?' He's shakin' his head. 'Ray, I am in love with you
too.' Finally, I can talk. 'You are?' He puts his hand on my knee, and I
jump a foot. 'Yes, Ray.' he replies. He's serious. I don't believe it.
'You're in love with me'n him?' I ask, shocked. 'Yes, Ray.' he answers
again. Whoa. 'At the same time?' I ask, just to be sure. He nods.
'Together?' My voice squeaks. 'Ray.' he reprimands. 'Sorry.' I answer.
Then I can't help askin' again. 'You're in love with Ray Vecchio?' 'Yes,
Ray.' 'And me?' 'Yes, Ray.' 'Together.' I am boggled. Fraser wants me AND
Vecchio? At the same time? Whoa again. I stare at Fraser. He has this look
on his face, like he had just before he kissed me. I think he wants to do
it again. I know I want him to. But like a fool, I run my mouth off again.
'What about Vecchio? What's he think of this?' I ask. To my surprise,
Fraser blushes. 'He.. He doesn't know yet, Ray.' I'm not surprised, after
all, Fraser hasn't been in contact with Vecchio since I've known him.
'Oh.' I answer.
 We are silent for a moment, me mulling this over, him waiting for
permission to continue. I have one last question to ask, though. 'Fraser?'
'Yes, Ray?'
 I swallow hard. 'What about when he comes back? You're not gonna leave
me, are you?' I know I sound pathetic. He smiles gently. Leaning forward,
he places his hands on either side of my face. Starin' me full on in the
eyes. 'No, Ray. I am never going to leave you.' he promises. I feel myself
let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 'Ok, Fraser.' I say. 'Good,
Ray. I'm glad we've come to an understanding on this matter.' He sounds a
little breathless again, like he's in a hurry. 'Now, can I...' He licks
his lips suggestively. 'Please.' I aim for cocky, but it comes out more
like desperate.
 As soon as the word leaves my lips, Fraser yanks my head to him and
kisses me again. Deep and hungry. I moan as his skillfull tongue dives
into my
 mouth once more. Though there is no longer much room for cohesive
sentance-forming in my mind, one thought does manage to surface: Somehow,
this threesome thing is gonna work out. It has to, cuz I'm not givin' him
up, not now. And somehow, I don't think Vecchio will either. It's just
this feelin' I have about him...
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