The True Nature Of Love	This is my submission to the due South
writing club. I hope you like it. The standard disclaimer applies here.
Please note that all characters mentioned below belong to Alliance with
the exception of Monica, Shamus and Lorna. These characters come from
somewhere in my very vivid imagination. Thank you to the creators and
writers of due South for giving us such great characters to play with for
a short while. Comments welcome...LRoss960@AOL.COM. Contains m/f
interaction of the adult nature.   The True Nature Of Love  by L. Ross
Fraser had become friends with Monica McKinnon over the past several
months. She was the co-owner of the Maple Leaf restaurant. Her partner and
cousin Shamus McKinnon, was a long time friend of Ray's. Fraser and Ray
would stop in at the Maple Leaf for eats and conversation. Visiting with
the small group of people they had become acquainted with. Ray was dating
Lorna, a waitress and Monica's best friend since grade school. Over the
past several months Fraser found himself sitting closer and closer to
Monica. He loved to hear her soft voice and her child like laugh. The very
smell of her perfume mixed with her shampoo drove him crazy with desire.
Soon he began looking forward to the end of his shift so he and Ray could
stop by the restaurant and say hello. With each passing day the feelings
inside him grew stronger. He longed to see her, smell her, and feel her
wisp by him. Fraser waited for her to gently grab his arm and press her
head against him as she laughed at someone's joke. Did she have any idea
what she was doing to him? Did she know how much he longed for her, wanted
her, needed her? Needing her, that thought frightened him. The last time
he needed a woman she betrayed him and ripped his soul out. But some how
Monica made the pain of Victoria's memory fade. He could talk to her about
anything,. He felt safe with her. Something he could never do with anyone
else. The restaurant had been closed for several hours that night. As
usual the small group lingered about. Drinking coffee,tea and talking
about any and everything. As they all began to leave Monica quietly called
to Fraser. She moved to a small alcove where supplies for the tables were
kept. Nervously she shuffled the salt and pepper shakers, napkins,
anything in hopes he wouldn't sense how her nerves were tied into knots!
"There's going to be a special showing of the 1945 french version of
*Beauty and the Beast* at the university tomorrow night.......and
well...I....I....I was wondering if you might be interested in going to
see it?" she paused slightly "With me that is?" She held her breath hoping
she had not just made the biggest mistake of her life. After all what if
he said no. What would that do to their friendship? Fraser was looking
down at his boots the way he often does. The tip of his tongue was
caressing his left canine tooth. She wished that he would stop that! That
was one of the many little things he did that drove her wild for him. His
head still tilted down, he looked up at her with only his eyes. "I'd like
that. I'd like that very much." he responded. For only seconds that seemed
an eternity they stared at one another, both slightly smiling. Their
hearts pounding so loudly that surely everyone heard. "Yo, Benny, you
ready to go?" yelled Ray from the front of the restaurant "Or are we gonna
stay here all night?" "Coming Ray." Fraser said, still smiling at Monica "
Coming." Fraser nodded, took a few steps and turned. "What time should I
pick you up?" he said running his tongue slowly back and forth over his
lower lip. Her stomach bottomed out. That was the very one thing he did
that she couldn't resist. She swallowed and answered. "Why don't I just
meet you in front of Kimberly Hall about 7:00pm?" "Alright then." he said
with that half cocked smile of his. Dimples running all the way to his
ear! Oh he was too incredible for words! How could any one man be so damn
perfect? "In this life time Benny!!" yelled Ray as he opened the front
door. "On my way Ray." he replied Fraser was unusually quiet and that had
Ray curious. But he would wait until Fraser said something as not to pry.
Who was he kidding, prying was his best asset! "Alright, are you gonna
tell me or do I start guessin' here?" Ray said staring straight ahead.
"It's nothing Ray, nothing at all." Fraser answered, not knowing exactly
what to say. "Right!" he said " OK, it's...." Fraser interrupted him
before he could finish. "I have a date tomorrow." he said looking down.
"You!......You have a date?!" he exclaimed "Yes, Ray I have a date and I
don't know why you seem to find that so difficult to believe." he said
"With who?" he demanded "I'd rather not say." Fraser said as he turned his
head to look out the window. "It's not.. no, it's not Franny is it?
Because if you touch my sister I'll kill you!" he was becoming rather
upset. "No, Ray it's not Francessca. It's ..well...it's Monica, Ray." he
said still looking out the window. "Monica, Monica McKinnon? Our little
Monica? Alright Benny, way to go! So what's the problem?" Ray exclaimed
all in one breath. "There's no problem Ray. I want everything to go just
right." he was looking at his boots again. "Hey don't worry about it
you'll be just fine. Just relax and be yourself." Ray shook his head as he
realized what he had just said. "Right, just be myself. Thank you Ray
you've been quit helpful. I feel much better." He was smiling again. But
Ray wasn't, after all he had just told the world's biggest boy scout to be
himself. The man knew nothing about wining and dinning women. This was
going to take alot of work!
*************************************************************************
Fraser looked at his watch for the fifth time in ten minutes. Forty-five
minutes left till his shift ended. Why was it taking so long, he thought
to himself? Raising his eyebrows, he thought, "A watched pot never boils!"
His grandmother had taught him that. She had taught him many things in his
life. Things that he used everyday. But she failed to teach him the two
most important things he really needed in life. The first was how to truly
be in love. The second and perhaps the most important, was how to let
someone love him. Only a few more lines on his report to fill out and he
could file it with the rest. He looked at his watch once again and smiled!
Looking at Dief he said... "Time to go! I'm sorry but you do understand
why you will be unable to attend the viewing with us." Dief growled. "No,
no, don't take that attitude with me." The wolf hurtfully looked away.
"Yes, I know it is your favorite movie, but they simply will not allow
animals in the auditorium . I promise I'll bring you back a special
treat." Dief looked up. "Really, I won't forget this time." Fraser said "
Now we must be off, I have to change and meet Monica at the university in
one hour." Fraser searched up and down the line of people standing
outside. Suddenly he smiled . He saw her. Her back was turned to him and
her long dark hair was moving with the slight breeze of the evening. He
loved the way it always smelled like wild flowers after a summer rain. He
longed to tangle his fingers in her hair and pull her close to him. He
wanted her so close that he could feel her heart beat against his chest.
He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. Standing
behind her, he tapped her shoulder. Monica turned around, smiled and bit
her lower lip. She was so beautiful he thought ! Her hair so long and
dark, eyes a crystal blue and her lips naturally red and full. He couldn't
help himself from needing her. There was that feeling again! What was it
about her that made him feel this way? He had developed a talent for
studying people and their habits. He had cultivated it, almost mastered
the technic. Studying Monica had now become a full past time for Fraser.
"I was beginning to wonder if you had changed your mind." she said
quietly, looking him up and down. "Changed my mind about what?" Fraser
answered, praying she wouldn't notice the bulge in his jeans. "Fraser,
you're wearing clothes!" she said without thinking "Excuse me?!" he said
looking around at the crowd of people now staring and smiling at him. "You
see..." she began, red face, as she tried to explain her way out of this
major fumble ".....he is a mountie and usually he is in one of two
uniforms." Monica closed her eyes, realizing that she had not only just
stuck her foot but her entire leg in her mouth. There was no recovering
from this. The only thing to do was to go on and pray that she didn't make
any more mistakes tonight! Saved! The line was moving and the awkwardness
of the moment fading. The movie was her very favorite of all times. She
knew every line by heart. Tonight though all she could hear was the
pounding of her own heart as she sat close to the man she had fallen
deeply in love with. Fraser moved closer to her. Their arms touching.
Slowly he moved his right hand over hers letting his hand rest on her left
thigh. He gave it a gentle squeeze. Monica moved closer and turned so that
her right hand was holding his arm. She began slowly running her hand up
and down his strong arm. She rested her head on his broad shoulder. Soon
she let her hand find its way down to his upper leg. She began to caress
it. Somewhere here they both lost track of what was going on in the movie.
Neither one cared. Fraser's legs tightened as did his stomach. His head
dropped back, eyes closed and his mouth became very dry. Her touch drove
him crazy. It was all he could do to keep from grabbing her and kiss her
tenderly. He longed for the movie to be over and for the night to turn out
the way he hoped it would.. With him taking her home and making passionate
love to her until the morning! At last the lights went up and the movie
was over. Nervously they both collected themselves. Stood up and began
leaving their seats. The night air felt good as they walked down the
street. The conversation was light and fun. As they walked they began to
get nearer to one another. At last they were touching again, arm to arm.
Soon Fraser found her hand. He took it in his. It seemed so small compared
to his and so very soft. He felt good, safe. And he liked that. He liked
the way he felt when he was near her. She made him feel whole, almost
complete. This was a new and strange feeling for him. But it was one he
was willing to try out. As they continued to walk they smiled at each
other. No more words were spoken as they turned down her street. Soon they
reached her house. They stopped in front of the stairs. Looking deeply at
each other as if they were studying everything there was to learn. Still
no words were spoken, only the words that come from knowing someone's
thoughts. They smiled. Then breaking their silence Monica said. "Thank you
for going with me tonight. I really had a wonderful time." she said as she
squeezed his hand. "So did I, thank you kindly." Fraser said, suddenly
feeling as if he were back in junior high. Hoping to say the right things
but finding the words hard to come by. "Monica..." he fumbled "you know
for quite a long time now.... I....I have...I have been ahh....." He let
go of her hand and began playing with his stetson, all the while looking
down at his boots. He was so shy and that made her want him even more! Not
taking a moment to think Monica grabbed Fraser and kissed him. First
softly, but as he began to respond the kiss got more passionate. Slowly
Fraser moved closer toward her, dropping his stetson on the stairs. He
tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her close. Just as he had
fantasized about earlier that evening. With the other hand on the small of
her back, he pulled her closer still. So close that they were almost one.
Monica let her hand slide down his back onto his bottom. She caressed it.
He pressed her against the concrete railing. She could feel the full
hardness of the bulge in his jeans! Their hands began roaming over each
other. Careful not to let any part go untouched. The passion of their
kisses accelerated into full blown ecstasy! Suddenly she stopped and
pulled away from him. Trying to catch her breath, he only pulled her close
again. He had waited too long for her and wanted her too much! "Fraser.."
she managed between kisses " wait...I....Fraser!" She pulled away once
more. As she looked into his eyes his stomach felt sick. Not from from
desire but from the fact that he knew what was coming. "I'm sorry Fraser."
she said softly as she touched his cheek " I just can't. I'm not ready."
Fraser looked down at his boots. She new that it was wrong to let the
kissing go on as it did. "It's not that I don't want to. I do, I REALLY
do. It's just that ." Monica paused as tears filled her eyes. She
swallowed hard and fought them back. This was not what she wanted, to have
him see her cry. He could sense her hurt and he wanted to comfort her.
"It's alright Monica." He said softly " I...I understand." He didn't
understand. What was it that was hurting her? Should he ask or should he
let her tell him in her own time? She should tell. But the pain was too
much still. He would understand, because he was so warm and kind. As hard
as she tried the words wouldn't come out. So she said nothing. The silence
was almost unbearable. Finally, breaking the silence Fraser said: "Well
then, I guess I had better be going." Fraser reached down and picked up
his stetson. He looked at Monica and managed a half of a smile. He gently
kissed her on the cheek, turned and began to walk down the street. He
stopped half way down the block. Turning in her direction he told her that
he would see her tomorrow. She watched him as he disappeared into the
shadows of the night. The moonlight hit her face as she lay in her bed.
She looked at the clock , it was 2:36 am. She had been lying there for
four and a half hours! There would be no sleeping tonight! Her heart felt
as empty as her bed. Suddenly this warm place felt cold and lonely. She
desired to be in Fraser's arms. Feeling his strength and his warmth. She
*could* let him in. He wouldn't hurt like John had. Fraser had already
proven himself time and time again. But that was in friendship, not as a
lover. She rolled to one side and grabbed a pillow. Pulling it close to
her body, she curled up into a ball and began to weep. She couldn't risk
losing Fraser! He had to know why she pulled away tonight. " Go to him, go
to him now !" She told herself. She jumped out of bed and got herself
dressed. She was trembling but there was no turning back. Across town in
his less than desirable apartment, Fraser lay gazing at the ceiling. He
too was sleepless. All he could do was ache for her. He should have
stayed. He shouldn't have left things the way he did. Why was it that he
found it so difficult to talk about his feelings? Things that he wanted to
say from his heart. He had no trouble talking about anything else in the
universe! He would help her through this. He would go to the ends of the
earth for her. All she had to do was ask. This was too much. He wasn't
going to get any sleep so he might as well get up. As he walked across the
room and into the kitchen he heard a sound. Was his mind playing tricks on
him because he was so tired? Dief sat up and growled. There was something.
"What is it Dief?" he asked as the wolf got up and went to the door.
Fraser went to the door and opened it. He saw a shadow at the edge of the
hall. Out ran Dief. Fraser went for his boots and a shirt.
"Shhhhh....he'll hear you." Fraser heard as he entered the hall. He
stopped , closed his eyes and tilted his head to hear better. "Now you go
back in Dief and we will pretend this never happened. Now go...go..go
on.....*get*." the voice was soft but firm. Fraser smiled as he walked
down the hall. She was here and he was glad! Now he could correct the
mistake he'd made earlier. He was going to get to the bottom of her
pulling away from him. After all *he* was a mountie! Reaching the corner
of the hall he paused. He propped his left shoulder on the corner and
kicked his left boot over his right. With his arms folded and a very large
grin upon his face he cleared his throat. Monica who was kneeling on the
ground with her back toward him was startled. She fell on her bottom.
"Thanks allot Dief. See if I ever slip you any more *Milk Duds*!" she said
as she glared at the wolf. Dief made a sorryful noise then retreated back
to the apartment. Still with her back to Fraser she bit the side of her
mouth. This is where she wanted to be but how was she going to work this
into a conversation? The fact that she was busted trying to sneak away
from his apartment at three in the morning. "You would probably be more
comfortable in here." Fraser piped in as he pointed over his shoulder.
"Ahh, ......yea...I..yea..you are probably right." she said as she pivoted
around. He offered her a hand, she took it. Her face was red and his was
smiling. "I suppose you are wondering what I was doing." she said feeling
quite the idiot "Well , I suppose you were trying to exit my apartment
building. And were hoping to do so without my seeing you." he answered
with a impish grin. "You don't miss a thing do you, Fraser?" Monica
replied as she passed him and went down the hall. "Not usually." he said
as he followed. Fraser closed the door behind him. They stood only inches
apart. He could feel her heart racing. He took her hands in his, they were
wet. He pulled her close and held her. His arms around her felt good. She
held him tightly around his waist and buried her face in his neck. She
kissed him there, softly. He pulled her even closer. He realized how much
she needed him. He took her by the hand and walked her to his bed. He sat
her down. He sat next to her. Taking her chin in his right hand he gave
her a look that told her things would be ok. He smiled and kissed her
softly on the lips. "I am here for you and I am not going anywhere." he
said in almost a whisper Monica began to tell him about the man in her
past. The man that almost destroyed her ability to trust and to love any
man ever again. Yes John was her *Victoria*. It happened two and a half
years earlier. She had been dating this man , John, for three years.
Things were great in the beginning. They were always happy and did
everything together. But slowly he began to change. Become moody and
sometimes violent. She soon found out that he was getting into drugs and
gambling heavily. She tried to help him but things only got worse. Than
she made the decision to leave him. They did for awhile. He came back to
her and convinced her that he had cleaned himself up. But the truth was
different. She had been out of town for several days. On her return she
found her apartment almost empty. At first she thought there had been a
break in but then she heard noise coming from the back. As she walked down
the hall toward her bedroom she heard low laughter and giggles. Quietly
she opened the door. Her stomach dropped and she felt herself about to
black out. The memory of what she saw was still as vivid today as it was
the moment it happened. There in her very own bed was John and another
woman! She stood frozen, unable to speak or move. She was sick! How could
he betray her like that? After all they had been through together. After
everything she went through with him! Now to find he sold most of her
things to buy drugs! And as if that wasn't enough to find him with someone
else in HER bed! All she could do was run. And run she did. For over a
year she ran from place to place. Not allowing herself to get close to
anyone. But, then Lorna and Shamus found her. They brought her home and
began to nurture her back. By this time Monica was sobbing uncontrollably.
Fraser took her in his arms and held her. Soon he pulled her into his lap.
There he rocked her like a child. Holding her tightly. Anger and rage
filled his heart. How could anyone do such a thing to her! It was at that
moment that he realized how much he did love her. He now understood how
she was connected to him. She knew all about Victoria . He had told her
everything about what had happened. Now he knew why she had all the
comforting things to say to him.. She always knew the right things to say
to help him deal with what had happened. Finally, he understood the reason
why. Because she too had been betrayed and almost lost her soul. "I love
you Monica." he said as tears trickled down his cheek. "I love you and
some how I will make it up to you." "I love you too, Fraser. I have grown
to love you more everyday." she looked at him with tears in her eyes.
Never had she looked more beautiful to him. She was so vulnerable. She
needed him as much as he needed her. Together they could work through
their pain. He rolled her over onto the bed. Gently he pulled her to the
head of the bed. He lightly laid on top of her body. He wanted her to feel
safe and protected. She did. He began to kiss her softly all over her face
and neck. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. She was completely
his now. Gladly she submitted to his every move. He tangled his fingers in
her hair once again. He kissed her ear and down her neck. Her hands moved
up and down his back. He was wearing only a white muscle tee-shirt and his
pants to his brown uniform. She ran her fingers through his hair grabbing
his locks. His kisses became more intense as their bodies became
entangled. Their breathing became harder and heavier. Fraser found his
hands under Monica's shirt and the feel of her warm skin sent heat raging
through his body. With one swift movement he removed her shirt. Not
interrupting the rhythm of his kisses. She slowly and sensuously removed
his suspenders. All the while he was kissing her slowly and passionately
down her neck. He fumbled with her bra. Finally he was able to remove it,
revealing her large firm breasts. He held her close. The feel of hot flesh
against hot flesh was more than either of them could bare. Fraser took
Monica's face in his hands. As he did he rolled the two of them over so
that she was now onto. Their kisses were hard and strong now. She pulled
herself up and looked into his eyes. She playfully ran her fingers over
his bare chest. He closed his eyes and licked his lower lip. Farther down
she ventured. He arched his back as she reached his pants. Quickly she
unfastened and removed them. Standing at the foot of his bed she looked
and marveled! He was hers, all hers! He looked at her and smiled, cocking
his left brow. She removed her jeans and panties without any hesitation.
Like a panther she climbed back on top of him. Slowly kissing and licking
him as she went. When she reached his mouth he grabbed her. Interlocking
his legs with hers. They kissed each others warm flesh. Careful not to let
any part go untouched. As they laid on their sides Fraser pressed his knee
firmly to open her legs. Slowly he climbed on top of her and entered her
body. They became one at that moment! Her head threw back and he kissed
neck. She pulled at his locks as they reached ecstasy together! As the sun
came up he held her. Still softly kissing the back of her neck. His right
arm was her pillow and his left arm was her shield. Their fingers
intertwined. Their bodies fit to perfection. Both had come to understand *
the true nature of love*. The End